Speaker A
I had a black dog, his name was depression.
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Speaker A
Whenever the black dog made an appearance, I felt empty and life just seemed to slow down.
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He could surprise me with a visit for no reason or occasion.
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The black dog made me look and feel older than my years.
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When the rest of the world seemed to enjoy life, I could only see it through the black dog.
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Activities that usually bought me pleasure suddenly ceased to.
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He liked to ruin my appetite.
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He chewed up my memory and my ability to concentrate.
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Doing anything or going anywhere with the black dog required superhuman strength.
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At social occasions, he'd sniff out what confidence I had and chase it away.
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My biggest fear was being found out, I worried that people would judge me.
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Because of the shame and stigma of the black dog, I was constantly worried that I'd be found out.
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So I invested vast amounts of energy into covering him up.
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Keeping up an emotional lie is exhausting.
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Black dog could make me think and say negative things.
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He could make me irritable and difficult to be around.
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He would take my love and bury my intimacy.
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He loved nothing more than to wake me up with highly repetitive and negative thinking.
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He also liked to remind me how exhausted I was going to be the next day.
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Having a black dog in your life isn't so much about feeling a bit down, sad or blue.
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At its worst, it's about being devoid of feeling altogether.
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As I got older, the black dog got bigger and he started hanging around all the time.
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I chased him off with whatever I thought might send him running.
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But more often than not, he'd come out on top.
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Going down became easier than getting up again.
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So I became rather good at self-medication.
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Which never really helped.
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Eventually, I felt totally isolated from everything and everyone.
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The black dog had finally succeeded in hijacking my life.
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When you lose all joy in life, you can begin to question what the point of it is.
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Thankfully, this was the time that I sought professional help.
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This is my first step towards recovery and a major turning point in my life.
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I learned it doesn't matter who you are, the black dog affects millions and millions of people.
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It is an equal opportunity mongrel.
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I also learned that there was no silver bullet or magic pill.
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Medication can help some, and others might need a different approach altogether.
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I also learned that being emotionally genuine and authentic to those who are close to you can be an absolute game changer.
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Most importantly, I learned not to be afraid of the black dog and I taught him a few new tricks of my own.
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The more tired and stressed you are, the louder he barks.
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So it's important to learn how to quiet your mind.
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It's been clinically proven that regular exercise can be as effective for treating mild to moderate depression as antidepressants.
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So go for a walk or a run and leave the mutt behind.
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Keep a mood journal, getting your thoughts on paper can be cathartic and often insightful.
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Also keep track of the things that you have to be grateful for.
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The most important thing to remember is that no matter how bad it gets, if you take the right steps, talk to the right people.
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Black dog days can and will pass.
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I wouldn't say that I'm grateful for the black dog, but he's been an incredible teacher.
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He forced me to re-evaluate and simplify my life.
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I learned that rather than running away from my problems, it's better to embrace them.
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The black dog may always be part of my life, but he'll never be the beast that he once was.
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We have an understanding.
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I've learned through knowledge, patience, discipline and humor, the worst black dog can be made to heal.
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If you're in difficulty, never be afraid to ask for help.
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There is absolutely no shame in doing so.
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The only shame is missing out on life.
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