Speaker A
Now, nobody's saying the Chats with Estate is the Garden of Eden. But it's been a good home to us, to me, Frank Gallagher, and me kids, who I'm proud of, 'cause every single one of them reminds me a little of me. See, they can all
Season 3 of Shameless (UK) follows the chaotic life of Frank Gallagher and his family on the Chatsworth Estate, blending drama and dark humor.
Ask about this video. Answers come from its transcript only — with the timestamp, so you can check them.
Generated from the transcript and can be wrong — check the timestamp.
Key Takeaways
- The Gallagher family is deeply flawed but tightly bonded, navigating life on a tough estate.
- Social issues like drug use, school exclusion, and poverty are central to the storyline.
- The show blends humor with serious themes, creating a realistic portrayal of working-class struggles.
- Characters show moments of growth and vulnerability amidst chaos.
- Faith and morality are questioned, reflecting the characters' complex worldviews.
What the video covers
- The video compiles all episodes of Shameless UK Season 3, focusing on the Gallagher family's struggles and dynamics.
- Frank Gallagher narrates the story, highlighting his pride in his children despite their flaws and the harsh realities of estate life.
- Key characters include Frank, his children Lip, Ian, Carl, Debbie, and neighbors Kevin and Veronica.
- Themes include family loyalty, poverty, addiction, school challenges, and social issues like drug raids and child behavior problems.
- The transcript reveals moments of humor, conflict, and emotional depth, such as New Year's celebrations, school exclusions, and health crises.
- The family faces external pressures from social workers, police raids, and school authorities, emphasizing their precarious situation.
- The narrative also touches on personal growth, such as Lip's literacy efforts and Debbie's aspirations.
- Religious skepticism and struggles with faith are explored through characters debating God's existence.
- The video captures the gritty, raw, and often chaotic life on the estate, balancing dark comedy with serious social commentary.
- Overall, the season portrays the resilience and dysfunction of a working-class family in modern Britain.
Full Transcript — Download SRT & Markdown
Speaker A
think for themselves, which has got me to thank for. Quick, like it lip, who's a bit of a gobshite, which is why nobody calls him Phillip anymore.
Speaker A
Ian, a lot like his mom, which is handy for the others 'cause [music] she's disappeared into thin air. And Carl, we dare let him grow his hair for two reasons. One, it makes it stand on end and makes him look like Toya. Two, nits
Speaker A
love him. Debbie sent by God, total angel. If you check your chains, but she go miles out of the way, it'll do you a favor. Plus, they could be him. She's going to be a star someday. Shayla me
Speaker A
couldn't be happier. One plate short of a full sleigh. And fantastic neighbors. Kevin Veronica lends you anything. Well, almost anything. Carol and Marty, the lodges from hell, last of the lonely hearts and the psychologist wet dream.
Speaker A
Still, nobody's perfect, but all of them to a man. No, first and foremost, one of the most vital necessities in life is they know how to THROW A PARTY SCATTER.
Speaker A
Which is right because liars are our currency. Bar's closed [music] for half an hour.
Speaker A
It's our new year and all you know is attention everyone. Attention now synchronizing watches in my eyes. All four OF THEM.
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I love you [screaming] like the shepherd loves his flock. [cheering] ALL MY eight New Year's resolution more [ __ ] 20 a day from now on and I'm going to do more crappy strip work and cut out the exercise. Might as well set
Speaker A
realistic ones. Hey, actually I've got one for you. Literacy classes. You're always going on about how you can't read.
Speaker A
Skill and homework. I don't think so, V. Unless you want to be pulling pints for the rest of your life, Kev, you have got to put the effort in.
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Jesus. Well, what is it? It's your mom. Peanuts. Have you eaten peanuts? Only a handful to so called the gin allergic.
Speaker A
WELL, YOU COULD HAVE MENTIONED IT TO HIM KIND OFIC. WHAT'S IT ROLLING? Get some water.
Speaker A
2 minutes into the new year this happened. It's a sign. Never get involved with married men. It's a golden rule.
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Come on. These girls, don't let this happen to me. I know I've strayed of recent years, but I swear. Let him leave and I'll I'll come back to you, Lord, if you just hear me this one special time.
Speaker A
Thank you. Oh, thank you. Thank you. Here to help those less fortunate. More upsetting the sight of a sick child.
Speaker A
Just doing our rounds. Surprising how generous people can be when the three sheets to the wind.
Speaker A
Deborah, it's probably not the time, but you don't happen to know if your parents received the letters from school, do you? About your Liam?
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I'm not sure. Is it serious? Well, it is rather, I'm afraid. The head's talking exclusion. Well, Liam's behavior last term became increasingly disruptive. The nativity play was the final straw.
Speaker A
Did God send [music] you? No. God doesn't exist. He's a made-up person and the Bible is all pretend stories to make people be good.
Speaker A
God's not real. We're a Catholic foundation for the education of Catholic children. Yeah, but he's only five.
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Sinners start very young, Debbie. Murdoch and myself will be doing a home visit 10:00 Monday.
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If you could just remind your parents, I'd be very grateful. Happy New Year. Happy New Year.
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Happy New Year. Happy New Year. Cops. Corpse. It's a raid. I gear. It's a raid. They've got sniffers.
Speaker A
Not tonight. You can't tonight. Rais, we have reason to believe that class A drugs are being sold and consumed on these premises.
Speaker A
Well, of course they are. It's New Year's Eve. Just checking we had enough ice.
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You could arrest me any day. Get off. Get off. Hey. Hey. Jesus. Who trained him to do that? You twisted [ __ ] got one here.
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SGE. Come on. Get yourself with him later. Leave him alone. Don't know where. Don't know when. But I know.
Speaker A
[clears throat] Where'd you get the gear? Frank Baston bus stop Bernage and Bell Shaw Lane. But but I did not do her over. She was already dead when I napped the bag.
Speaker A
Hence, hence did I take the purse? I did not take the purse. I left the purse where it was out of respect for the fact she was already stiff as a ming ring. Is that 'cause there was nothing in it?
Speaker A
Yeah. Oh, you stank of piss. So that's theft, possession, debatable whether he had him intent to supply, but supplying two. It's not looking good for you, Frank.
Speaker A
It's not looking good at all. Unless [cheering] you know he's GOING [cheering] to with you.
Speaker A
[music] Hi, Debbie. Oh, happy new year. Debatable, isn't my dad him? He hasn't been to bed yet.
Speaker A
Let us from school. Liam's in big trouble. They're doing a home visit Monday and they want to see one of his parents.
Speaker A
And and you're one of his parents. Dad, this is serious. If he gets expelled, we'll have social workers sniffing all over us.
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All right. All right. What do you want me to do? Promise you'll be at ours Monday 9:30 sharp.
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Yeah, I promise. Promise me you won't forget. Cross my heart and hopes. You've run out of Sprite. I've done your [ __ ] Yeah.
Speaker A
Mhm. It's your serotonin. Winter blues. Everyone gets a bit down in January. Or it could be the fact that I'm bored, knackered, and skinny.
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Should I eat you? Don't want to eat. Didn't know you was going away. Spiritual retreat. Purifying my sinful soul. What brought this on?
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The road to Damascus. Except for me, it was the lady's lavatory. I'm just a lonely woman searching for love. And he understands that when I needed him, God listened.
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God doesn't exist. Liam, [laughter] he isn't real. Get up. Come on. You're the only one that will miss me.
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I've got nets. Bloody nits. Jesus. Can things get any worse? No. God. No. There's no God. Listen to me and listen good. You can't keep saying that about God.
Speaker A
Why not? 'Cause it upsets people. Don't say it anymore. Okay? Never again. And when them nice people from school come on Monday, got to be a very good boy. Do you understand?
Speaker A
Sheila, it's Debbie. Is my dad there? Uh, I think he's gone down with the flu.
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Do you want me to get him to call you? [music] Forget it. There's nothing more upsetting than the sight of a sick [music] child.
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[music] [music] [music] Don't want knits now, do we? Come in. And Liam, have a nice Christmas.
Speaker A
Yes, thank you. Would you like a cup of tea? Uh, no. We're fine, thanks. We just need a quick chat with your mom and dad and then we'll be on our way.
Speaker A
Mom and dad can't make it today. They send their apologies. I'm afraid that won't do. Three letters have been sent and not a single one's been responded to. The whole point of a home visit so that we can openly discuss
Speaker A
our grievances. The school governors take a very strong line on parental responsibility. Where are they?
Speaker A
I mean, why have they left this to you? Surely you should be in school. What exactly is going on here, Deborah?
Speaker A
Well, the thing is they've got a lot on the plates at the minute, and it's all got really difficult for them with the hospital visits and getting time off work. It's not fair. None of it seems fair.
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[music] Uh, I'll speak to the teachers and I'll make sure they're made fully aware.
Speaker A
Can you ask them not to mention it to Karen, his half sister? She picks him up after school. She's inconsolable.
Speaker A
Cancer is a terrible thing. You don't think it's God's way of punishing him? No. No, Debbie, please. You mustn't torture yourself with such thoughts.
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MERRY CHRISTMAS. Everybody is having fun. If I hear that song one more time, I'm going to chin some [ __ ] Oh, Jez, tonight am I am I still good for them couple of hours off?
Speaker A
Is this going to be a regular thing? Well, I'm learn to read, Jez. You know, it's it's not going to happen overnight, is it? Well, read my lips. I'm running a pub, not a library. So, if you want time
Speaker A
off, you better find someone to cover your [ __ ] Preferably young, sexy, and feed.
Speaker A
Problem solved. DADDY ALWAYS TELL you full of kids. You better get the odd knit.
Speaker A
It's [ __ ] disgusting. You know your trouble. You'
Speaker A
have to incinerate him. Maybe that's where the arson started. What could that you know?
Speaker A
What won't your face? I'm depressed. Food in your belly, clothes on your back, and a bloke that worships a ground you walk on. What's the problem?
Speaker A
I don't know. You need sunshine. [gasps] And how am I going to get that party in the middle of [ __ ] winter? Unless you've got a spare grand to whisk me off to Rio.
Speaker A
No, but I'm going to make you happy. Hi Ke. Hi, Debbie. Start talking. What?
Speaker A
Told you to leave that on. Debbie, what the [ __ ] have you done?
Speaker A
Nothing. [ __ ] School think he's ill. Worse than ill. One of the teachers has just started crying on my shoulder. She had no right.
Speaker A
I specifically told her not to mention it. Are you mental? the [ __ ] you playing at?
Speaker A
You can't go around telling people it. Liam, mate, go and get in the bath.
Speaker A
Don't want to do as you're told. They were going to expel him, which means education inspectors, which means home visits, which means social services. Because, in case you hadn't noticed, no one's bringing us up. Is that what you want? Busy bodies crawling
Speaker A
all over the house. Authorities coming in here deciding what's best for us? Cuz that's what's going to happen. We'll all be broken up, thrown into care, or fostered out to the nearest freaking taker.
Speaker A
Why didn't you tell us? And what would you have done? Lip, stop shagging for 5 minutes. Expelled. Well, what for? They think we're atheists. He keeps denouncing God.
Speaker A
Where did it get that from? Who told him God don't exist? Don't blame me. I say prayers.
Speaker A
It was me. Why? Cuz it's true. Debs is a little kid. Exactly. So, we shouldn't be telling lies about superior beings.
Speaker A
You've done some screwy things in the past, but this takes the [ __ ] medal.
Speaker A
So, what did you tell him? How did they buy it? It's a collection of different cancers.
Speaker A
They treat it with monthly chemo sessions. I've got a letter from the hospital detailing [music] his treatment schedules. But you haven't got a letter because he's not a [ __ ] patient.
Speaker A
Don't worry. She didn't want to see it. People never do. Maybe he just gets better overnight.
Speaker A
No, he's right. It's our only way out of it. We'll let his egg grow back and pretend the treatment's worked. But it can't leave this room. The less people know, the more chance we've got of bury in this.
Speaker A
Hang on. Hang on. I've only got one pair of hands. It's not rocket science. How long have you BEEN COMING HERE FOR?
Speaker A
WHAT DO YOU WANT? No problems coming. Is it two pints? Yeah, no problem. [ __ ] night school. My ass. Jed, can I have borrow these, please?
Speaker A
Yeah, go. Yeah, go on, Tekken. Thanks. Come on. We're three deep in the bar here.
Speaker A
For example, in the sentence, I am going to the bar to buy two beers. We have two examples of how the same sounding word is used in different contexts. But if I were to add, would you like a beer, too?
Speaker A
We can see how the third meaning comes into play. Open your textbooks at page three and there are some straightforward examples of this rule. Have a look yourselves and then we'll um we'll go through it together.
Speaker A
Just going to nip the toilet mess. Do people think I'm poorly? No. Well, sort of.
Speaker A
Liam, listen to me carefully. Right. It's just a game that we have to play.
Speaker A
So, if you do exactly what I tell you to do, then we won't get into trouble. So, if people think you're Paulie, that's okay. You have to let them think that.
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It's all part of the game. Do you understand? Off you go. I've got a problem.
Speaker A
You got the spare change there, you know? Oh, jeez. Thanks a lot. Thanks ever so much. Tear changing your pockets, gentle in all those.
Speaker A
Come on, let's dig deep in these pockets. There you go. Oh, thanks. That's brilliant. Thanks ever so much.
Speaker A
Brilliant. A pound. Is that it? Little kitty at death store and you can only manage a pound. We're sending him to Disneyland, not Camelot.
Speaker A
Sorry to hear about you, Liam. It's a crying shame. I thought you were other one at first. It's that idiot from Oasis. I said to Morin, he could pay for his own trip money he's making.
Speaker A
If they start collecting wedge, we're in deep [ __ ] How did Jess find out? Father Cryon, he's toing pubs with his collection tin.
Speaker A
You happy now? Didn't know they try and send him to Disney World. I'll go with him. He got massive ri Mountain in that. Not just Mickey Mouse.
Speaker A
This is out of control. There's only one thing for it. I'm going to have to go down there and tell him the truth. Stop it before it goes any further.
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I'm not doing it. We'll all do it. Thanks. Thanks. God bless you. Oh, thank you.
Speaker A
Chemotherapy is a modern miracle. Absolutely. Thank you. May I buy a drink, Frank? Absolutely.
Speaker A
I'll just The [ __ ] going on? No, that I'm kidding. And no one tells me the last to know. As usual, I have to find out in the pub of strangers. Is this how it is now? Is this how we've ended up?
Speaker A
My own kids keeping secrets from me. Well, I suppose I've owned myself to [ __ ] blame on that. But you go to [ __ ] Liam.
Speaker A
What? Leo [laughter] is me blood. No, Dad. Look, community is about sticking together, and that's exactly what we're going to do. So, it's my pleasure to declare the Liam Gallagher Appeal officially open.
Speaker A
[applause] Frank, that came as soon as I heard. Mom, listen. Not now. If we tell him, everyone will know.
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I'm dying. It's a wonder you can remember what he looks like. Around your [ __ ] cage.
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When did you last me with him? Take him out. Have fun. Call yourself a father.
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I'm not a minute. She's right, Frank. He needs his father. They all need their father.
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We should be there for them like proper parents. Well, yeah. Yeah, of course. I mean, we could move in. Then we'd all be together. Me, you, and the kids. One big happy family under the same roof.
Speaker A
Need to talk. Oh my god, it looks like something from Chernobyl. [snorts] Deb needs to see a shrink. How attractive be to make something like that?
Speaker A
Hey, she's a young girl trying to bring up a kitty that doesn't even belong to her. We should be praising her and not condemning her.
Speaker A
Making up cancer for coping. We know parents and a bunch of brothers are expected to behave like the mother.
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They're going to kill us. You know that. Hundreds of pounds have gone in. Wages, benefits for what? It's a [ __ ] sham.
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If we tell people the truth, what's the worst that can happen? Remember Theresa Tyler?
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Read all about it. Fake charity woman from home. Heartless [ __ ] in fear of her life. Read all about it.
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They think you've used the kid to extort money. They will build a [ __ ] bonfire.
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We could just say it was a mistake. Like we thought he had cancer, but we found out he's really MS.
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At least I'm trying. We've got to keep dumb. If that means not telling me dad and Sheila, then so be it.
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Can't let him think he's dying. Lip, he can't be trusted. Look, it's only for a few days. When it blows over, we'll tell him the truth.
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It won't do Frank any harm to love his son a bit harder, will it? E, you finished talking about me. Now just move in there long.
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I need to mother Frank. Yeah, we've done all right so far. Frank is your son. Come on.
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I know that. It's like Marty Kane said, you should go into battle like it's your worst enemy.
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Yeah, look what happened to her. Oh yeah. Yeah. Laugh you like I borrowed these off your mom.
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Where's everyone going to sleep? Gee, aren't these two going to want their own room?
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We'll have to convert the living room into a granny flat and then no one will be able to get next door. We won't have any privacy. I mean, not that we've got anything to hide or anything, but we are
Speaker A
adults with very adult needs. No, no, no. She It's not going to work. I don't know. The logistics are all to [ __ ] I'm going to have to sit down and rethink.
Speaker A
What the [ __ ] What's this? This normal? Who thinks this is normal? Sue's depression.
Speaker A
Lifting or deepening? What's going on? They're moving in. Say, someone could have told us. But you don't evening live here.
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Never mind. There's more than enough room for everyone. Come on, Sue. You can help me with cleaning.
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Well, I can't clean, Sheila. It's the dust. It gives me migraines. Present for Sue. Pets are good for depression.
Speaker A
Okay, everyone. See you next week. So, how did it get on? H five out of five. Excellent.
Speaker A
You're like um teacher's pet. Go miss. What the [ __ ] Billy, this [ __ ] car you sold me, you told me it wasn't a ringer.
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Bought a scene. And that was 5 years ago. Now [ __ ] off. Our satan's got a badger.
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I guess you've been needing a lift. [music] Well, this is as close as I go. After this, it's straight to my place.
Speaker A
So, so what's it to be, Kev? Look, the thing is, Serena, I I've got a girl at home, and much as I would like to, she'd tear me dick off.
Speaker A
She'd never know. In my experience, women always know. Is it yourself? But I know you're interested or you wouldn't have to keep nipping off for a wank halfway through my lessons.
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I'm going to have you, Kev. So, if I were you, I would just get used to the idea.
Speaker A
Thanks for the leverage. [music] Hey, this kid is dying and you were DOING THAT.
Speaker A
OH, YOU dirty bastard. Come on. She love, slow down. I've got a house full of people all with the hungry stomachs.
Speaker A
When are we going to get a chance to eat only stuff? We need to conserve our energy. I've done breakfast and tea. Whatever's left over can be frozen.
Speaker A
Seriously, they can all look after themselves. What do you think they did before we moved in? Starve. I mean, look at them. None of them are wasting a Just stop [ __ ] cooking, Will. You're like a woman possessed.
Speaker A
We need food, Frank. It's what keeps us healthy. Besides, little limb is enjoying himself, aren't you? I'm a little helper.
Speaker A
There is also potent. If you're looking for drugs, they add them in the system.
Speaker A
No, no. Just [sighs] a bit of dope or something. Just take the edge off, you know.
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I mean, what with your brother and being back here, it's all a bit [ __ ] Dad, about Liam, the thing is is the [ __ ] you both doing in here?
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Looking for your drugs. Yeah, well, good luck cuz I ain't got any. No gear. You call yourself a [ __ ] teenager. Hey, where's Ian's stash?
Speaker A
You've got to stop, Jess. She's talking to a journalist. Joking. She's arranging a charity date all in Adel's appeal.
Speaker A
Jesus. We're going to have to tell her the truth. Jez, you out of your mind? She'll sack repair the pair of us.
Speaker A
You can't let it go in the papers, Kev. Cuz if she starts checking details, contacting the cancer unit, we'll be hung out to dry.
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Wait, wait. What's all this weight? I didn't go around tell her when he had [ __ ] cancer.
Speaker A
Neither did I. Yeah, but you didn't try and stop it when you found out.
Speaker A
I was trying to protect Debbie. Yeah. Look what that's caused. Hey, what's going on?
Speaker A
You've got a problem. event celebrities fair ground the entire day with one aim helping a sick child in his hour of need and I assume you'd be contributing the profits from the bar don't push it sweet I have a living to
Speaker A
earn you know okay think I've got everything right I want to get a snapper down get a shot of Le and his family outside the pub if that's possible page spread well that depends if there's a murder I mean sick
Speaker A
kids are good but there's only one nothing beats a nice juicy murder Let me know when you've confirmed a celebrity. And by the way, the day for little Liam. What you call now? Liam Day.
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[ __ ] We're finished. Maybe not. Cover for me. Where's Cash? Uh, in the back. Cash cancer wristbands?
Speaker A
Yep. I'm happy to do my bit. But they're fake. They're not even charity registered. They're still promoting the cause.
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Live eight comet relief. Do you think they all do art goodness of their arts?
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Bollocks. Every time go shakes, he earns a million quid. You ain't making my poverty history.
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We're in a mess. You're the only one that can get us out of it.
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See, the trouble with you is you put it all down to faith. Faith. Faith.
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Well, people have got [ __ ] faith. It's all drip, drip, drip, drought, famine, tsunami, drip, drip, drip. Just things are getting worse down here, you know? Just getting [ __ ] worse. Don't you think? [ __ ] him. Let him sit on his
Speaker A
cloud twiddling his beard as flies to want some boys. The we to the gods. They kill us for the sport. [ __ ] Shakespeare [ __ ] King Leah. Yeah, it he had it right, didn't he? You can't
Speaker A
expect us to like you just like that. It was a matter of course. You can't expect Oh, come there to our door. Oh, come there. [ __ ] off. WHERE'S YOUR CURE FOR CANCER? WHERE'S YOUR cure for cancer?
Speaker A
Where's your cure for cancer? Hey, where's your help for the little Ethiopians and little kidies with two hearts and arms that don't work properly? If you want us to have [ __ ] faith, you're going to have to prove
Speaker A
yourself. Second coming, parting of the waves, something spectacular, something biblical, you know, otherwise [ __ ] games up. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Kiss the brick, Frankie boy.
Speaker A
Oh, this is intimidation, you know. You know, it's harassment. I know how the [ __ ] Muslims feel now.
Speaker A
Yeah. Innocent man. Hey Frank on the good ship lo tonight. A big bash. No hard feelings.
Speaker A
Hey Frank, MY SON [screaming] IS DYING. THERE'S ONE TIME YOU'RE ALLOWED TO GET ME OFF YOUR [ __ ] FACE.
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Little Liam. Holy Mary, mother of God, pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death. Amen.
Speaker A
Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee. Blessed art thou amongst women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, mother of God, pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death. Amen.
Speaker A
Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee. Blessed art thou amongst women, and bless.
Speaker A
Right. What's going on? [sighs] Talking about you. You're acting weird. I'm I'm not [snorts] I think it's all this Liam stuff, you know? It's making me edgy. Oh, yeah. Liam not dying.
Speaker A
It's this is it. Hey, I can't do it. It's just not happening. You've only been twice.
Speaker A
Yeah, I know. But it's going to take months and years, week in week out, and for what to be able to do what everyone else finds piss easy.
Speaker A
Yeah. And so you can feel good about yourself. Go for the jobs you want.
Speaker A
Yeah. Read the newspaper instead of looking at the [ __ ] pictures. You are not jibbing it, Kev. Not without good reason.
Speaker A
I've got good reason. It's full of spods to class, you know, and knobheaded who can't [ __ ] read. I feel like one of the school spanners again.
Speaker A
You're doing really well. You have just got to keep at it. Do you think I like wiggling me worse for a load of overweight businessmen? No. But I've got to do it because I want a summer holiday. Same with you. So, no more
Speaker A
moaning and no more wanking. You're going [ __ ] as a representative of the local council, I'm delighted to announce that in conjunction with St. Gabriel's RC Primary School and the local church. We have decided to use Liam Day as a
Speaker A
fundraiser not only for little Liam Gallagher, bless him, but also a number of other sick children in the local.
Speaker A
[applause] Miss Murdoch, Father Kryton, and myself have agreed that a pilgrimage to Lords, the renowned sacred home of healing, would be the appropriate venue for the trip, as well as a brief stop at Euro Disney. The local council will be
Speaker A
providing a mini bus free of charge for the entirety of the jaunt. [applause] I know exactly what you're going through.
Speaker A
We lost our toy to it last October. Thanks, Lord. It's the kindness of strangers that gets you through.
Speaker A
Some wicked new stuff coming in. Stronger proper spaceman stuff. Stronger the better. I want a direct route to oblivion.
Speaker A
I don't care. What's not to get? Council donates a mini bus which immediately gives the old thing a ring of authenticity. We fill it full of young unfortunate. Send it to France and voila, the appeal's done its job.
Speaker A
Not all about Leo. You're just one of a bunch of kids. Which stops that reporter sticking the nose where it's not wanted.
Speaker A
What' you get out of it? Well, good publicistic for the council plus bit extra. Viagra. I've got a mate in Too import. Thousand boxes, 10 or a pop. I pick it up on route.
Speaker A
I'm out of dicks around here. We're going to clean up. We need a driver. Do you know what?
Speaker A
Why not? Could do with some spare dosh. I need new [ __ ] car.
Speaker A
[music] Well, what about one of the spice girls? Oh, but not Jerry. I'm not going to bring that bleeding dog. Well, take that then. Well, I know we not get Robbie, but rest of them can't be busy. I can
Speaker A
for her if you like. Oh, we're not having soup polard. You feeling any better, Sue?
Speaker A
Little bit. Can't rush these things. Depression lifts in its own good time. Bit lower, Marty.
Speaker A
That's it. Me mom's there. Liam, who is it? [snorts] I'm your mommy. I'm your mommy. [laughter] I'm your mommy.
Speaker A
[laughter and gasps] I'm your mommy. Monica [laughter] [crying] why didn't you tell me? [laughter] [gasps] Why didn't anybody tell me?
Speaker A
[laughter and gasps] [crying] He's not ill. [crying] It's all a lie. was a mistake.
Speaker A
She didn't mean any harm. Well, if you'd have come for the home visit, none of this would have happened.
Speaker A
Oh, so it's my fault, is it? [ __ ] [laughter] hell. And there's me thinking it was you. Are you? Are you?
Speaker A
Are you? No, it's [ __ ] Frank again. Suppose Tweedle dumb and Tweedle [ __ ] dean you and all, did they?
Speaker A
We knew. Yeah. Yeah. Just Mugggin's here. I didn't know either, Frank. Oh, fine. Get on. If that's how much I [ __ ] matter. You'll be better off without me.
Speaker A
Frank. Frank. This is sick. This is beyond sick. [ __ ] [music] [music] Why did nobody tell me Fiona had left?
Speaker A
You've got my number. You could have called. That's a two-way street that in it. Try ringing us from time to time.
Speaker A
We were managing okay until all this happened. There's a fundraising day Saturday. You can't go through with it.
Speaker A
We've got no option. Will you stare for it? It look better of you with that.
Speaker A
Be like I was going along with a lie. He's my baby. When I heard that word cancer, it tore me apart.
Speaker A
Don't worry, I'm not staying. Just going to go and say goodbye to Liam. Thought tonight was night school.
Speaker A
No, it's off. She's the teacher's been run over. She's not packed it in already.
Speaker A
No. No. [ __ ] teacher's ill. Intensive care, life support. They've had to call the priest in. Not even sure if she's she's I can't bleed and go, can I?
Speaker A
Why not? Because the teachers it in on me. I'm frightened I'm going to end up boning her. No, it's not funny, Karen. She means business. Telling you, proper porno pose is the works.
Speaker A
And I take it Veronica don't know. No. And as far as she's concerned, I'm still going to go on me lessons.
Speaker A
And how long are you going to keep that up for? I don't know. As long as it takes Oh Jesus.
Speaker A
What? She looks in me workbook, me school book. There been no new sentences in it.
Speaker A
Well, right, son. A bit of a problem there, Callen. Well, you couldn't help us, could you?
Speaker A
Bring it here then. You're back. How was stripper? No, some juggy toss pot's 40th. You got a lob on though, so must have been doing something right. How was college?
Speaker A
Oh crap. Oh, we did do that um quick brown fox thing. What's that? Oh, yeah. Oh, the quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog. It's um it's a sentence, right? Using every letter in the alphabet. It's good, isn't it? I was
Speaker A
well impressed. Learn something new every day. You're not kidding. What? You've not been, have you?
Speaker A
Yeah, of course he have. Dear Veronica, I can't go tonight school cuz the teacher is a horny little [ __ ] who KEEPS FLASHING ME A FANNY. SORRY.
Speaker A
LOVE KEV. SHARON, LOOK, I was going to tell you, but I thought you'd just be down there ripping her eyes out. But she a [ __ ] predator, right? It's sexual harassment.
Speaker A
If I was a bird, I could have her up in court. meant you were pathetic. Can you not trust yourself not to shag someone?
Speaker A
She wouldn't leave me alone. Like she said she was going to have me no matter what. I felt like I were being unfaithful just looking at her. I only wanted to learn to read.
Speaker A
Not my fault. I'm irresistible. Someone for bettering myself. Been pulling pines for the rest of me life.
Speaker A
I can teach you to read. Won't that drive you potty? Probably. But we're a couple, aren't we? And sometimes that means doing things for the benefit of the other.
Speaker A
It's all the rage. Corporates, bisexual birthdays. Hey, we'll clean up. I can't take me kit off in a room full of strangers. V, you'll be fine. Pock it like yours.
Speaker A
You'll be all lonely. Oh, no. No. I can't. Can't do it. One chip a lot of gaggle. I'll be a jibbering wreck.
Speaker A
Fine, Kev. I could have doubled our income as a strip of gram and I could have taught you to read into the bargain.
Speaker A
Can't be a cowboy. Frank, say petrol. Petrol. Say bonfire. Guess he didn't come back.
Speaker A
But he must have slept at home at our old house. I'm really sorry, Sheila.
Speaker A
The last thing we wanted was to hurt you on my dad. Really? You You just couldn't be trusted.
Speaker A
Bucket. He did it. Help us get through this, Sheila. Please. We need you. Really?
Speaker A
Good afternoon everybody and thank you all for coming. The time is 12:30. The place is chats with England. Welcome to Liam Day.
Speaker A
[cheering] [applause] If we get through this, it'll be a [ __ ] miracle. Just got to keep our nerves. [applause] Few hours it'll all be over.
Speaker A
[music] Get off there. What are you doing? You are off. If you want to bounce, go and shag your sister.
Speaker A
[ __ ] off you. It's only a quid down the off. Piss off down the off then.
Speaker A
Keep ringing Debbie. Tell him what to start the show down here by too. And get your wristband on. Now I know how Gild must HAVE FELL.
Speaker A
GIVE US YOUR [ __ ] MONEY. OH, you little [ __ ] You didn't even pay for that.
Speaker A
The [ __ ] you doing? He's wasted. Look, we made a mistake. Not interested. No, it were wrong. We shouldn't have kept it from you.
Speaker A
Not interested. But we're in this [ __ ] We had to make decisions. Not [ __ ] interested.
Speaker A
Well, maybe you should try asking yourself why we didn't tell you. Ah, do the very man. Come on. I need that spaceman stuff. [music] Is that spot?
Speaker A
Somebody just pretend [applause] you're Superman. Yeah. Hello everybody and thank you all for coming. HOPE YOU'RE ALL ENJOYING LIAM DAY.
Speaker A
Today is a very special day because it's about our community, the community of Chapssworth coming together in a common cause. Little Liam Gallagher is an exceptional child. And I'd like us all to commend and applaud this young man's
Speaker A
bravery. [applause] And I'm delighted to announce that thanks to your generosity, we've reached our appeal target of £6,000.
Speaker A
Whatever's going on, a [applause] little dying of cancer. It's a bummer leg, but at least [cheering] he gets a free holiday out of it.
Speaker A
No. [screaming] Why do you keep punishing me? Haven't I done enough? Mom, Carol, don't let it happen. Don't let this little boy be taken away.
Speaker A
It's all right. Debbie made it up. It's only a game. Leah, no. Is this true, Debbie?
Speaker A
It's a load OF BALLOTS. HE'S NOT EVEN DYING. IT'S A [ __ ] THEY'RE nicking our [ __ ] money.
Speaker A
Cause these children deserve your support. What's happened? Dad. He's not breathing. Veronica, he's not breathing.
Speaker A
Just pissed. Do something. He can't be dead. Why ain't anyone doing anything? Please, someone help. Dad.
Speaker A
Dor's deceit leaves. Dad dead. Don't you dare die. Cuz who will that help? Then we'll have no one. Is that what you want to leave us on our own?
Speaker A
Mom's gone. Fiona's gone. And now you're going to leave us. It's not fair. It's just not fair.
Speaker A
So, you're going to have to live and [snorts] that's the end of it. Do you hear me?
Speaker A
I know I shouldn't have told everyone that you had cancer. And I know you hate me for not telling you the truth.
Speaker A
But you're my dad [snorts] and I'll make everything all right. I promise. If you live, I'll make everything all right.
Speaker A
533. Excuse me. Excuse me. Good night. [snorts] It will be all right, won't it?
Speaker A
[music] struck down at the moment of truth. It's biblical, is this? It's God's way of telling her what she did was pure evil.
Speaker A
Carol, sip it. Don't you think I know that? But I can't say about the clock, can I?
Speaker A
[panting] [crying] Let him live. Please let him live. I CAN'T BE I'D RATHER die than be without him. Please.
Speaker A
Frank's had a very serious toxic reaction which led to his collapse. He doesn't work with animals at all, does he?
Speaker A
No. No. Only he seems to have consumed a large quantity of fenyine. It's a tranquilizer often used by vets to calm horses.
Speaker A
He'll be all right though. He'll be fine. Few days rest, but he's had a lucky escape. PCP is one of the big boys not to be fooled with.
Speaker A
[gasps] We're taking him home. He's almost here. Liam, love, all your things are ready.
Speaker A
You're going to come back to mommy's house for a while and be looked after properly.
Speaker A
Mom, you can't just take him. He doesn't know me. I'm his mom and he can't remember who I am.
Speaker A
Whose fault's that? Oh, you'd know why I left. Look, you're all grown up now. Well, nearly grown up. But oh, Liam, he's he's so young. We need to spend some proper time together. Oh, come here.
Speaker A
Mom, don't do this. Oh, it's not fair. You can't split us up again. You can't do this. I won't let you.
Speaker A
This is now to do with you. It's got everything to do with me. You want to pick a fight, Sheila? You're messing with the wrong chicks. We're taking him and that's the end of it.
Speaker A
Over my dead body if necessary. There isn't a court in the land. Wouldn't support me having my son. Well, we'll see then, won't we? Cuz that's the only way he's going to leave this house.
Speaker A
Stop it. JUST STOP IT. YOU'RE ARGUING OVER HIM LIKE HE'S A LOST DOG. HE'S GOT A MOUTH and a brain. He can decide what he wants for himself.
Speaker A
He's a 5-year-old boy. Why don't you try asking him? Liam, love, we need to decide where you're going to live. Who's going to look after you? Do you understand?
Speaker A
So, where do you think you'd be happiest? With me, your real mommy and Norma and [music] Norma, or staying here with um Sheila and your father?
Speaker A
It's up to you, mate. Whatever you choose is all right. some weekends. Long as I can have some weekends.
Speaker A
It's funny. In spite of everything that's happened, I feel good again. The clouds have lifted and it's all down to you.
Speaker A
Just want you to be happy. I am. Were you looking after me? Easy, [ __ ] Easy, [ __ ] But that parrot's got to go.
Speaker A
Let's get you inside. Hop back and rest. That's what you need. Better start looking after yourself.
Speaker A
Don't want to be widowed before I'm even wet. Heard every word. This is um interesting.
Speaker A
Did you make it yourself, Sheila? Yeah, it's really quite straightforward. It's um wine, brandy, cinnamon sticks, clothes, paint stripper. Aren't you supposed to put sugar in mold wine?
Speaker A
She sugar? Forgot the sugar. Must have been all the excitement. Never mind. You can add your own sugar when you aunt. Good Elacustomed as I am, I'd like to say a few words.
Speaker A
Sometimes, you know, it takes a bolt from the blue to make you realize what is important in life.
Speaker A
And uh and uh so all right welling up here because just before I hit the deck thinking that my number was up I had a vision as a sort of premonition clear as day like I could touch it
Speaker A
and it was me and Sheila together grayed and wrinkly in Sheila 's house on Sheila's couch surrounded by all our children.
Speaker A
Every single one of you and you were looking after us in our doage. And no matter what we needed, you couldn't do enough for us.
Speaker A
Oh, Frank. So, no, no. All right. Just wait a minute. Let me finish what I'm saying.
Speaker A
What I'm saying is I forgive you for the lies, the deceit, because I know that whenever I need you, you will always be there for me.
Speaker A
Me and you are going home, our home. So we can make this vision come true.
Speaker A
Yeah, Frank. Cheers. Cheers, everyone. They say truth stranger than fiction. And it's serious. And it's true. I mean, the world's full of people doing mad, sick, crazy things.
Speaker A
Take a look around you. You couldn't make it up in a month of [ __ ] Sunday.
Speaker A
[ __ ] cat. [cheering] [music] [ __ ] cat [ __ ] I've got flowers and lots of hours to spend with you.
Speaker A
So go on, how cute. [ __ ] cat, I love you. Yes, I do.
Speaker A
Someone once said that life's what happens when you're busy making other plans. Feels about right. We're all so busy looking at the road ahead. We never really notice where we're at, which is dangerous because sometimes there's a great big [ __ ] juggernaut coming.
Speaker A
Stay out of him. How does it happen? How do you get like that? You're a tosser.
Speaker A
People love him. Yeah, I'm not. It's pathetic. So, uh, who you going to vote for? Queen.
Speaker A
No one. They're all terrible. [ __ ] cat. [ __ ] guy. I love you.
Speaker A
Yes. It's not unusual. And you [ __ ] guys. Both of them. How much for a tit went girls?
Speaker A
Don't know. What are you offering? Don't pay for it. Don't have to. Is that right?
Speaker A
Come que around the block. When you're ready. Got to go. See you later if you're lucky.
Speaker A
[ __ ] my sister. You're dead. I'm sorry. sugar. We need words counseling. The matter's closed.
Speaker A
Far from it. Mr. The Catholic Youth Club provides an important social function knitting [music] together the fabric of this community. And as such, it's a drug stand.
Speaker A
It's closure of my [ __ ] drugs. It's not a drug stand. It's a youth club for good, honest kids with nowhere else to go.
Speaker A
And whilst it may be convenient for you and your council cronies to dismiss that so you can line your pockets by selling the land, those kids need God's good guidance.
Speaker A
I've bought drugs from law. The motion's passed. It's been demolished in the story. The word of paradise a light only upon the hand that does not grasp. And we care to remember that.
Speaker A
In you go, Carol supplies courtesy of Volto Botanica. So in and now what have you brought it all here for?
Speaker A
Should we go off to a party? Sort party. Sort you're not coming to All right. Can you get some takeouts?
Speaker A
Yeah, we have to. If you can, Margaret will do. Strongest you've got. So you're not inviting us then?
Speaker A
No offense, but it's going to be pretty hardcore. We can do art, can't we, Marty?
Speaker A
With a golden self. [cheering] Great stuff. Great stuff. Next, WE GOT WENDY WAGSTAFF. EVERYONE come darling. [cheering] Tell us who you're going to be tonight, Wendy.
Speaker A
Kev, tonight I'm going to be Karen Carpenter. Jesus, shoot me now. You're working too hard. It's only short term. Just all this council stuff's been dealt with. Hey, there's a conference in a couple of weeks. Arrogant, you could
Speaker A
come over. Hotel's been paid for. No. Only got a few hours, kid. Those pills were proper mental.
Speaker A
Fancy another. Why not? Sly off. I'll give the day an interesting spin. By the way, this is all he said to tell you. I should be expecting you after work.
Speaker A
All right, Blondie. Oh, no. CAN I SEE ME? [ __ ] BROTHER. Kev Ke, let us in.
Speaker A
[ __ ] off. [ __ ] OFF YOURSELF, YOU DIRTY [ __ ] SCAGGY.
Speaker A
KEV, on the door. Let me see. [ __ ] [screaming] There's no way, K. Not after last time.
Speaker A
Veronica would have me bollocks in a bag. She just doesn't like me. She caught you shooting up in our bog.
Speaker A
I'm clean now. Honest. It's not just that. It's you two. You're at each other like, dog.
Speaker A
Dog's right in her case. I'm working again. Got money coming in. I finally found something I'm good at.
Speaker A
Just need a room, that's all. I can't help you, babes. You'll have to ask about. I'm sure someone could do with the extra release.
Speaker A
Contemporary living accommodation conveniently situated close to all local avenities. How much are we talking?
Speaker A
20 gift pack sorted. 5:00. Don't rip it, [ __ ] [ __ ] off. You [ __ ] off.
Speaker A
What you doing? Scissors. Another 30 for the market, but only if we can get the same price as last time.
Speaker A
Morning. Get back to us. Morning. It's so black. No, sorry. Put it back. What you on about?
Speaker A
That bread was bought by criminal money. Money earned by everyone with one exception. So, I'm supposed to starve, am I? Cuz I can't find work.
Speaker A
You've not even looked. You've not even been trying. I don't even live here. Well, you act as if you do and eat as if you do.
Speaker A
Everyone has to contribute to I'll pay for her. Well, she's my guest. So, I'll just earn twice as much. Problem sorted.
Speaker A
And how are you going to do that, Marty? Get a job. How do you think? You've been through for a dozen jobs this year.
Speaker A
You've not got a single one. Donkey dick. Sorry. Done face. [ __ ] SHE WENT [ __ ] FACE.
Speaker A
I put adverts up. H Andy man. You know fixing stuff. See you reckons work come rolling in.
Speaker A
Fine. But we're not having passengers. If you stay in here, you pay your way.
Speaker A
I got your invite. What invite? From Jack. Said you told him to. He thinks he's funny and likes playing godly people.
Speaker A
Maybe he was being benevolent. You know, forcing us together. That's what we both want in it.
Speaker A
Bit of time together. Whatever happened to courtship? Dates, flowers. If all you wants a quick jump lip, you've got the wrong girl.
Speaker A
Jack, are you? God, sorry. I was miles away. Lip's not here. I'm not looking for Lip, right? It's ridiculous. Um, do you want a drink?
Speaker A
All right. Unless you fancy something a bit stronger. That'll soften the edges. [snorts] You're not kidding. God, it's burning.
Speaker A
[snorts] [ __ ] That's really [snorts] [snorts] You like that? No, not yet. Tomorrow.
Speaker A
Yeah, definitely. Good. Almost again. Damsel in distress, needing shelter, somewhere to call home. Kelly, Kev's sister.
Speaker A
Pleased to meet you. Said she could have Karen's room, right? Uh shoes. Have you gone?
Speaker A
Make yourself comfy. Get your back here. Frank, she used to be on drugs. Well, who didn't?
Speaker A
I mean, what sort of society is it if we can't offer forgiveness? You know, if a young deviant doesn't deserve a second chance, tell me that.
Speaker A
It would be nice to have an extra pair of hands helping out. Exactly. Bit of company for you out with the kids.
Speaker A
Yeah. She's like an old pair without the accent. Opair. You're not going to have sex with her, are you? Honey, I've seen a documentary about it on Channel 5. It's almost an epidemic.
Speaker A
Hello. Sex. I've got you. Do you really think I'd be interested in some slipping?
Speaker A
Got a jumpy shower. Can I help myself to shampoo on that? Yeah. Anyone home?
Speaker A
[snorts] I've got to go. I'll see you soon. When? Who knows? That's the fun of it.
Speaker A
Who says courtship's dead? You'll have to do better than that. Jesus. I'm free Friday if you want to try harder.
Speaker A
Hello and that's me. Hello. Yeah. No, that's me. Midnight. One minute. I'll just get a P.
Speaker A
Borrowing your haird dryer. Mine's flown. Ask Martin. What's happened? Debs. The housekeeping's gone missing. £120.
Speaker A
And then I'll Well, don't look at me. Well, it was there this morning. Who else has been in there?
Speaker A
Accus me of a lot of things, Debbie, but I'm not a Got me first job.
Speaker A
You know the other day when you came around to ours was it? It were good, was it?
Speaker A
Forbidden fruit and all that. You know what I mean? Like really good. I've got to go. Do you need a lift anywhere?
Speaker A
No. What? Fancy bit of a Yeah. Hold on. Get down. Oh yeah. Get in. Get in.
Speaker A
What are you doing, Kelly? Walking with her. Shagging for now. Yeah. in there. Yes.
Speaker A
The people having sex on the other side of that wall. [sighs] Our blond's blonde. I don't go mad. I don't end up looking like M. You can't be charging for that.
Speaker A
Uh Deb's been like this all week. She told you why. Why? What? Debbie thinks I've stolen money.
Speaker A
Oh, come on, Debb. You can't go around saying things like that. Well, someone has.
Speaker A
Has anyone seen my keys? I can't find them anywhere. They've got the shot keys on and everything. You looked in the bedroom.
Speaker A
No, Carl. I never thought of that. This place is such a [ __ ] tip. Could be anywhere.
Speaker A
Right. I'm off to work. Yeah. I never thought I'd see the day. No, she's the new me. She reckons there's no end where it could lead.
Speaker A
See you. See you. Have a good day. Worker. I cut you something special for tea.
Speaker A
Half of these are ballads. Draw the line at [ __ ] ballads. What about gold finger? Everyone loves a bun scene. Apart from that one by Jeran Giran.
Speaker A
Good morning. Morning. You got any juice? My mouth tastes like roy fish. I made you some breakfast.
Speaker A
Fresh coffee. Toast. Brilliant. I'm starving. Will your friend be joining us? No. He shut off early. He's a train driver.
Speaker A
Morning shift. Oh, that's a shame. Tell him if he wants to join us again.
Speaker A
He's more than welcome. Thought your voice sounded familiar. Brains need doing stink to high heaven.
Speaker A
in a spot of painting. My Brendan used to do all this, God rest his soul. They were useless at most things, but give him a trial and some plastic soldier was happy as a freaking [ __ ] Get us on
Speaker A
[screaming] Oh, dear God. Wrigle your fingers for me. How do you know how to do all this?
Speaker A
I do first a call at community center. You'd be surprised how often it comes in. You'll have to rest that for a few days.
Speaker A
No, I'm fine. Honest. I need to keep working and I need the money. I like being here. I don't want to let you down.
Speaker A
Funk face. A you remind me of my Brendan. People used to mock because of his stammer. anything weing it while you were boogered. But once you got to know him, he had art to gold.
Speaker A
[snorts] It's lonely without him, Marty. You don't realize what loneliness is until you lose your soulmate.
Speaker A
Will you stay to tea? Got a shepherd's buy in. It were Brendan's favorite. I've only one pair of hands, you know.
Speaker A
It's going to take me weeks to get through this lot. The concier is at the moment, so it's easy pickings. So, when do we see our cut of this when all the money comes in?
Speaker A
And when's that likely to be? Don't worry, mate. You'll get it. Just going to use your bag.
Speaker A
Go for it. You are awesome. I've got the [ __ ] you doing fruit and all that?
Speaker A
[ __ ] off. Lips downstairs. I'm sorry. Here. You left these in me car.
Speaker A
Wow, you look amazing. Don't watch the back yourself. I'm my two favorite girls. You know the trouble here? You're too similar. You can be Bzy mates if you'd only let yourselves.
Speaker A
Oh, [ __ ] sake. Look, we're grown-ups. Can't we just have a drink and let bygones be your bygones?
Speaker A
Suits me. Fine. Roman coke and whatever for blonde Veronica there now happy family actually dates here it'll have to be another time we always look out for each other though me and chat I suppose we have to the
Speaker A
only family we've really got have a couple of eyes if you want Liam's cute bites it's a bit but he'll grow out of it eventually Jack says you're clever the Last thing you need is to get trapped around here.
Speaker A
I won't. How do you know? I'm different. Same again. [ __ ] wanker. Look at the state of her.
Speaker A
Brother owes me my mother. Oh, you get it, [ __ ] I know cuz you're going to go and remind him.
Speaker A
Apologize. You what I said? I apologize. You be doing what? Lip, leave it. Look, I'm fine. I'll tell Jack to pay for the gear. So, why don't we just forget all about it?
Speaker A
[ __ ] slapper. Oh, He's [panting] kind of a dirty [ __ ] He's asking her to bite him.
Speaker A
Look, Sheila, I'm up for a bit of, you know, I like Kinky as much as the next bloke, but you know, this is He's begging. [laughter] She's slapping him and he's begging her.
Speaker A
He'd be drilling a [ __ ] hole next. I mean, can't we just This the third night running. No wonder the [ __ ] trains are running late. This isn't the train driver, nor was the one this afternoon.
Speaker A
Different voices, different requests. What? She's playing the field. Sty Minkx. She's had sex with four different BS.
Speaker A
How many [ __ ] boyfriends? Is she only found something I'm good at? I just need a room, that's all.
Speaker A
Oh, Jesus Christ. Last little wh house in Jack. TURN AROUND [screaming] AND [ __ ] OFF.
Speaker A
We'll keep the money. JUST GET THE [ __ ] OUT OF MY SHOP NOW.
Speaker A
I [ __ ] [screaming] GOD. [groaning] HOW'S MY LITTLE SISTER GETTING ON? She's keeping herself out of trouble.
Speaker A
She's a prostitute. Prostitute as in proit shags men for money in my [ __ ] house.
Speaker A
Fine. That is my little sister you're calling a t. So you better have your facts.
Speaker A
Men come in day and night, so to speak, hour at a time. Lick me, spank me. Let me call your mommy.
Speaker A
Where else do you think she's getting a [ __ ] wedge from? Oh Jesus.
Speaker A
Oh words. I'll ask her. Oh, you you can't have that going on in you.
Speaker A
You can't. Sheila likes it. You are turns her on. She thinks Kelly's got a healthy sex life. She doesn't realize she's living with Cynthia [ __ ] pain. Getting munching pouches in a minute.
Speaker A
What's you on the game? Cal, what have you got this off him? Perf ball. I can't walk around the house without him undressing me with his eyes.
Speaker A
Hey, no. I had the old man back. Catch you up for last time. I That's the thing. When you get clean, your liido runs rampant.
Speaker A
Here's your end. You were laid there for hours. Unconscious. Blood everywhere. This is Father Kryton.
Speaker A
That's what I said. It's got to be Cash. He goes around making threats and then you end up looking like this. You're rubbing us.
Speaker A
They only got a bit of money, a few tokens on Cash's mobile. But weirdest thing is there were no forced entries.
Speaker A
So God knows how they got in. You what? He reckons they had keys. How does it feel on?
Speaker A
Uh, good. Length's okay. Perfect. [clears throat] Oh god. It is. It's him. It's like seeing my Brendan for the very first time.
Speaker A
Say the line. Uh, I haven't got much surely, pretty lady. [snorts] But what I have got, I'd like to spend with you.
Speaker A
Uh, what did he call you? Lillian. Well, Lily, may I buy you a drink?
Speaker A
Fantout. [clears throat] [singing and music] Frederick [music] tip one. Yeah. Who's Jack in? Depends who's asking.
Speaker A
Ian Gallagher. I'm a friend. Jack. All right. Won't be long. The [ __ ] are you doing coming around here unannounced?
Speaker A
Nice girlfriend, Jack. Fits on and off. You can't just [ __ ] shut it.
Speaker A
I mean it, Ian. I'll break your [ __ ] legs. It's you in it.
Speaker A
The breaking the stolen money. I have no idea what you're talking about. You used me. If you're going to talk shitty, you left him for dead. He's my boyfriend.
Speaker A
Block you knocked seven shades of [ __ ] out of. He's my [ __ ] boyfriend.
Speaker A
Ian, you're upset. But you've got the [ __ ] off. You stole my keys. Used them to do over the shop. You left him in my car. I'll give you them back. Now, WHY WOULD I DO THAT, IAN? If I'd nicked them, why would
Speaker A
I not just chuck them? If I were you, I'd think very carefully about what you're accusing.
Speaker A
Everything all right? Yeah. We just finished, haven't we? Two birds [singing] appear. I miss him so much.
Speaker A
What if I die, Marty? What if I go without ever being touched again? You might meet someone new. Who knows?
Speaker A
Attract a woman like you. Sak. One night, Marty. I'll put a wording down the community center for you.
Speaker A
They're looking for somebody permanent. Caretaker. You'd never be out of work. I'd like to, but I've got a girlfriend and she's lovely.
Speaker A
Still all in full working order. Have you even had a bath? It's not that. Honestly, I'll pay you. Double money. Nobody need ever know.
Speaker A
Okay. Are you ready? Marty. Marty. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm really, really sorry. Marty, what happened?
Speaker A
Did you join the name? She went mental. I've been dressing up as a dead husband.
Speaker A
She wanted me to shag her. You're offering money and everything. [ __ ] it. No, no. I've let you down and I I've lost me work and I said I wouldn't.
Speaker A
I'm really sorry, sir, but it was my fault. Honestly, it's all right. We'll manage.
Speaker A
I noticed they're looking for checkout girls at cost chopper. 550 an hour. How much is Lillian offering?
Speaker A
What the [ __ ] you doing? Is that what Juliet said to Romeo? It would be if he turned up pissed at 4 in the morning. Where's Jack?
Speaker A
Still at the party. I had to see you. Make me so [ __ ] horny.
Speaker A
Is that what Romeo said to Juliet? Act four, scene five. Wait. [laughter] She's got two of them.
Speaker A
You've got a lot of catching up to do. What a night. Oh, it was brilliant. Jack gets his ease. I've never read anything like him. They make your knob tingle. He should come out with some time of his.
Speaker A
He's a wanker. What you talking about? Look, he was the one that broke into the shop and beat Cash up. You were the one that stole the housekeeping money. Don't try and stick up for him, Lip, because I
Speaker A
know it's right. You don't even know him, don't I? I've been at it like rabbits.
Speaker A
We've done it right there on the floor. And you know what? It's the best sex I've ever had.
Speaker A
You're lying. Ask him. You're [ __ ] lying. It is straight. Didn't look very straight when I was sucking his [ __ ] He's greased us round with his flash car. Cool [ __ ] life and we've fallen
Speaker A
for it. But who is lip? Who the [ __ ] are we let into OUR LIVES?
Speaker A
IT'S NOT YOUR [ __ ] MATE. IT'S [ __ ] ALL TO DO WITH YOU. ALL I WANTED WAS SOMETHING DIFFERENT OUTSIDE OF THIS HOUSE. THIS [ __ ] FAMILY. YOU CAN'T STAND IT, can you? YOU CAN'T STAND BEING
Speaker A
LEFT BEHIND. NOT ABOUT ME, LIP. It's the best mate I've ever had. Your sister's amazing.
Speaker A
You have to go and interfere with it. OPEN YOUR EYES. HE'S A [ __ ] YOU'RE THE ONE THAT BROUGHT HIM INTO THIS HOUSE.
Speaker A
SO, YOU'RE THE ONE THAT CAN GET RID OF HIM. You know what, Ian? That's not going to happen.
Speaker A
You got any plans for tonight? No, not really. Why? What are you offering? Me and Z are going local. Thought you could bring Claire along.
Speaker A
[ __ ] for some be arranging dinner parties next. Actually, there'll be five of us. Bring your mate Charlie.
Speaker A
No. No. JESUS [ __ ] I'M TRYING TO GET READY. I NEED YOU TO PERFORM for me, Franklin.
Speaker A
[laughter] You can't deny a woman a sexual need. What's happening? She's being a [ __ ] He's refusing to pay.
Speaker A
She's calling all kinds of bastard. [gasps] [laughter] Is it Is it Is it Frank, it really is. Oh, God. Frank. OH, GOD. FRANK. NO. Is it?
Speaker A
Well, SHE get up and you get another one. Jesus. What sort of place is this?
Speaker A
It's just a normal family home. How much she owe you? Uh, 50. Come on.
Speaker A
Here. You need that the deposit on your next accommodation. Now get out. Go on.
Speaker A
Without further ado, let's welcome on stage the first act. It's Wendy Wagstaff. EVERYONE'S [cheering] going to be believeing interest in smoking, drinking, and the work of our Wendy. Tell us who you're going to be tonight. Kev, I'm going to be Britney.
Speaker A
[cheering] Jack, shout this one up, mate. Same as you please. I shouldn't have let you [cheering] go.
Speaker A
Now you're out of dear. [music and singing] Sights you see when you haven't got your gun.
Speaker A
I'm a man of God. I'd never do something like that. So is your pop and he were a Nazi.
Speaker A
Whatever my quarrel, I'd never stoop to the use of violence. Well, that's where WE'RE DIFFERENT. NOW GO ON. [ __ ] OFF BEFORE I FEED IT TO LIONS.
Speaker A
YOU'VE HE WAS NOTHING TO DO with it. It was me. I [ __ ] up.
Speaker A
I shagged someone else. One of Lip's M. He stole my keys. It was him that robbed you.
Speaker A
It was him that nearly killed you. And I know you're both going to hate me, but I never meant for any of this to happen. I swear. And I wanted to tell you sooner, but his lips met.
Speaker A
And they're both in the pub now laughing and joking like nothing ever happened. It's my fault.
Speaker A
It's all my stupid fault. This ain't about me. You two better talk. The minute you walked in the joint, I could feel you were a man of distinction. Very big. I saw you.
Speaker A
Oh, if I say what you like to know what's going on in my mind TO THE POINT, I'D POP my foot every day.
Speaker A
Hey, get a LITTLE FUN. I can show you. Let me show you. Good time.
Speaker A
[music] The minute you walked IN THE JOINT, I can see you. What's doing on his phone?
Speaker A
WHERE'S IT COME FROM? WHY? THIS ISN'T YOUR PHONE. Where'd you GET IT? DID JACK GIVE IT? I'VE SEEN NOTHING UNTIL YOU TELL ME.
Speaker A
OH, you got it. KNOCK OFF. WHY BASTARD? SO HE DID SOME CUT FOR A PHONE. [ __ ] DIFFERENCE DOES IT make bastard.
Speaker A
You ruined everything. You [ __ ] liar. Put your way over. Yeah. SHE DONE THE [ __ ] I'LL TELL YOU. AND WHO THE HELL are you?
Speaker A
SEE HIM. He's the one that broke into our shop. Lift cash FOR DATE AND HE'D DO THE SAME TO ANY ONE OF YOU.
Speaker A
You're a dead man. What? So start again or what? With the first time, Cash. Honest.
Speaker A
There's never been anybody else and there won't be again. It's just No, I have to say because look at you.
Speaker A
what he did and that was my doing because you're the best thing that's ever happened to me.
Speaker A
I can't I don't deserve you. If it hadn't been that guy, it'd have been someone else. I made a mistake.
Speaker A
That's all. Just a stupid mistake. We always knew it wouldn't last forever, Ian. Nah, don't talk like that, Cash.
Speaker A
Please, just don't don't talk like it's over. Met someone else. Who is he? Doesn't matter. He's single, older, knows what he wants.
Speaker A
Are you a going to [ __ ] tell me? Har last weekend. [laughter] Jesus scared me off to death.
Speaker A
Could you state are you? This is going to be a girl. Our little baby daughter. She's due out next month.
Speaker A
Can I touch her? Go on then. Be quick. Listen. And mom's on her way, so you best not hang about.
Speaker A
See you around then. Good luck. Yeah. Sometimes we get so wrapped up in getting what we want that we never really ask ourselves why we wanted it in the first place.
Speaker A
Sometimes things you do lead somewhere. where other times they're just an end in themselves. Trouble is, you never know.
Speaker A
Me and Ian, we're both young, free, and single. No baggage, right? Free to move on. Except sometimes the past comes back at you that fast you can't get out the way. say boys [music] will be boys.
Speaker A
There's been girls [music] let us know in our heart but their arms simply [music] couldn't be prized aart.
Speaker A
She is. She is. She let me [ __ ] see. She is cuz of trouble if they're singing.
Speaker A
You two birds look like fish out of water. You're not students, are you? Yeah, we are actually.
Speaker A
You know, the only thing I learned at school, don't kick against the bricks. Old level [ __ ] conformity.
Speaker A
GCSE. Don't talk [music] out of Latin. I was 25 when I knew who I was.
Speaker A
Oh, am I bothering you? I'm sorry. I think we're just in the wrong pub.
Speaker A
Yeah, well, every pub's the wrong [ __ ] pub, is it? and Casablanca. Tell you what, if I give you a fiverr.
Speaker A
Yeah. Will you [ __ ] off and leave us alone? Yeah. [ __ ] [laughter] Are we all nerv?
Speaker A
Yeah. Cur [ __ ] What you mean? Come on, I'll show you. I'm not sure about this, Mick.
Speaker A
[ __ ] it. You come down here all the time. Yeah, but I don't just want to [ __ ] someone.
Speaker A
You're not [ __ ] what? One block in there, one block in the end. Bob's your uncle.
Speaker A
There's an old Yeah. You're on. Oh, you meant to give him a little present after, you know, for service is rendered. Still got that ball of papers on you.
Speaker A
But yeah, now I'll take one. [ __ ] sake. Hey, suck him off and you get a present back.
Speaker A
No, sorry, love. You've you've got the wrong jock here. This is important. You're in chats with.
Speaker A
So, you don't have a band playing here at all? No. You're not missing much anyway. Saw me in Sulford last month. The shite.
Speaker A
I know. My mate fancies the drummer. I only came as her alibi. I folks are a bit strict. They think she's at my house revising.
Speaker A
Well, could be fate. Do you want to have a drink? Yeah, why not? Two glasses of white wine please.
Speaker A
Come on then. Just went to town. Hang on. Just having a drink. This is Lip.
Speaker A
Hi. He's bought you one. Here you go. You're welcome. Right then. I'm off home.
Speaker A
Oh, you're not saying tonight then? No. I don't stay every night, Debbie. We've been through this. I don't live here love.
Speaker A
Really? Really? So, I'll just get my things and I'm off. Good night. Bit moody, isn't she, your mate?
Speaker A
Yeah, well, she's spoiled. Her dad's loaded. She doesn't like it when she's not the center of attention.
Speaker A
She's getting some attention now. I tell you, lads in this pub predator. I best make a move.
Speaker A
That's a shame. Should we invite you around for coffee? What? I've only just met you. You think I'm going to come around to your house at this time of night?
Speaker A
I'll get my coat. What was that? What was what? Pit my ride. What you doing?
Speaker A
What's that noise? So am I shagging? Carl, can't we listen? Gross. Hey. Yeah, Debbie. Carl, this is a friend of mine.
Speaker A
Hello. Nice to meet you. Try a coffee. No, not really. Right. Well, we're just going to pop upstairs for a bit.
Speaker A
Do you ever think of anything apart from sex? Yeah, girls. Come on, love. Closing up now.
Speaker A
Come on. Oh, [ __ ] sake. These are brand new. [music] [music] How did he get my face? I don't know.
Speaker A
Come on. It's all right. It's all right. It was good of you to flaunt us. No, it's all right. Come on. We're getting in the cabin. That's not safe.
Speaker A
I can't understand what I mean. How else should you get like this? Somebody sp a drink.
Speaker A
Hey. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Nothing like that goes on around here, mate. No, no, I'm sure it's just uh I don't think she's ever been in a pub before.
Speaker A
All right. She's probably just not used to it then. Kids, eh? Listen, me and the wife really appreciate this.
Speaker A
If you fancy a bet, I've got a little Philly. Won't let you down. Only keep it yourself. I don't want the odds affected or people getting suspicious.
Speaker A
Why would people get suspicious? Because take it from me, this horse has already won.
Speaker A
Yeah, right. Hey, I'm a man of me word and I don't give out these tips to anyone.
Speaker A
If you don't believe me, check out the first race at York tomorrow. The favorite will pull up lame.
Speaker A
I think the world of my daughter may do yourself a favor. Morning [music] Debs. Tea.
Speaker A
Yeah, please. I was just uh checking the weather. Raining like [ __ ] You know how tight things are in this house. If someone's living here, they should pay the whack.
Speaker A
Right, fine. I totally agree with you. Did Sue really go home last night? Yeah. Yeah. No. Yes, she did.
Speaker A
There you go. What's up with you? So, do you wish to change your gas supplier? [ __ ] deck chairs on the Titanic. Is it?
Speaker A
This one's from Monty Pat. Oh, it's Barl and Aiden. Who are they? Haven't got a clue. But they send every year Christmas and birthdays.
Speaker A
[ __ ] [ __ ] God. Help us out here, lads. Have I seen something I shouldn't have?
Speaker A
No, no, nothing. What have you got there? No, really. [laughter] It's nothing. You can't for me, Frank Gallagher.
Speaker A
Pretending you've forgotten when you haven't. Oh, well, never [laughter] mind. Give it me tonight in the pub. I'm so excited.
Speaker A
[gasps] [ __ ] help you, weren't you? Sherlock Holmes and Watson. Hia. Hi, love. You all right?
Speaker A
Yeah. A couple of scratch cards, please. All right, Mandy. Not long to go, eh?
Speaker A
No. In a couple of weeks, please. God. Like I'm walking around with a bloody Christmas turkey jammed up me.
Speaker A
O son, not woods in shop, please. I say take your soding hood off cuz he bleeding death.
Speaker A
[ __ ] GET OFF YOUR LITTLE Don't believe that. Five times in two months.
Speaker A
All right, Mandelof. I think the water's broken. Yeah. Red car. I found the name of the ass.
Speaker A
That's the racetrack in it. All right. All right. Here we go. Rat pack 310 red car Saturday.
Speaker A
Right. How much have we got in here? Uh, no you don't. We've got bills.
Speaker A
Got his keys. He claims it's a dead sir. Oh, dead sir. According to some knobhead you met last orders.
Speaker A
It wasn't a knobhead. He was wearing a suit. Oh, all right then. Some knobhead in a suit.
Speaker A
Don't mean he can see into the future. Come on, V. We could paper the dead search you've had down that boozer. Everyone in there thinks the John bastard Mcruick. I know, but there was something about him that just seemed a bit different. That's all.
Speaker A
[sighs] If you want to waste a tenner, fine. But that's it. [ __ ] sake. Where is your sense of adventure?
Speaker A
You don't need a sense of adventure living around here. In fact, Kev, that's the last [ __ ] thing you need.
Speaker A
I listen to me. Please, love. You've got to welcome me. That girl over there is pregnant with my baby and that's her, Dad. If he sees me, I'm dead.
Speaker A
Fine. What the [ __ ] are you eating here, Galaga? Do you mind? I'm here to see my cousin.
Speaker A
We're trying to have a private family conversation. Really? Sorry, love. I got here as quick as I could. Who are these?
Speaker A
This is Philip Shagger Gallagher, your wife's cousin. Cousin? Yeah. You mean to say you don't recognize him?
Speaker A
You ain't got any cousins. Oh, wait a minute. You filthy little [ __ ] No, this is him, is it?
Speaker A
Listen. Whoa. You little You little [ __ ] You stay away from my daughter and our baby. Babe.
Speaker A
Babe. No. No. It's lovely. Frank, really? I am sorry about your present, love. God, I wanted to smack him. I told myself back, but these people, I mean, they got no scruples. They just see human life as a disposable item.
Speaker A
Well, at least you're safe. It's the main thing. I just thought, you know, but am I safe?
Speaker A
Don't fret, Sheila. You'll have something special, you know. I just need to, you know, get it sorted.
Speaker A
What's for dinner? Made you a shepherd's pie. I um I forgot to defrost it. You'll have to sort it out yourself.
Speaker A
Me myself? Yeah. Well, did what I could, you know. I had a pot. But these little toes, little kids with big knives. Seven Sami makeover history. a pretty good record.
Speaker A
Just let them all machet each other to death. Job done. Thank you, Gordon. [ __ ] Brown.
Speaker A
Frank, hang on a minute. A bit of news coming in from Shut it. The sounds of it. And the news coming in and it's a turnup. [music] Rocking Robin, the hot favorite, has pulled up lame in the paddock just 10 minutes
Speaker A
before the off. Check out the first [music] race at York tomorrow. The favorite will pull up lame.
Speaker A
That's a big disappointment for the favorite backers there. Rocket [ __ ] looks really before this race today. I'm [ __ ] talking to you must have happened.
Speaker A
We'll sell the car. The car just got it. It's the most valuable thing we've got.
Speaker A
We We don't just want to put a few quid on, do we? No, it's one extreme to the other. We in it.
Speaker A
The bets for real. The horse pulled up lame just like you said. It was definitely the right horse.
Speaker A
First race at York favorite and this rat pack. It's 9 to1. That's what it said in the pay fair.
Speaker A
Kev, just think what we can do with all that money. Right. We'll get all the cash together we can and we'll put it all on. Agreed.
Speaker A
Agreed. Oh, V. Hey, remember main [music] thing. Mom's the word. All right. Promise that blow we won't tell anyone. And we don't want the odds getting [ __ ] up.
Speaker A
I haven't. And we're off. Nah, sorry mate. Not interested. Not much [music] demand for these.
Speaker A
No demand. When you sold us a few weeks ago, you said they were selling like hot cake.
Speaker A
It's a few weeks ago. What I am? The market's up and down, is it?
Speaker A
Come on. I'll tell you what I'll do. I'll give you 200 for it. You give me the name of the source.
Speaker A
[ __ ] robing bastard. Give you a tenant. A tener. He's taking the base. Well, 50 if you tell us the [music] name of this horse.
Speaker A
[ __ ] hell. I told you we have to keep quiet about this V.
Speaker A
I did. I I haven't told anyone. I did mention it to me mom. Oh, was that before or after you took a double page head in the evening news?
Speaker A
I didn't tell her the name of the ass. Look, I'm sorry. It's just Why does our life have to be so [ __ ] Hey, hang on. Wasn't [ __ ] two days ago before you got this stupid tip.
Speaker A
Look, here's 20 quid. Won't put that on catalog this week. But that'll only win us 180 quid. Well, it's 180 quid more than we've got now.
Speaker A
We've never had money before and we've always been happy. Maybe it's just not meant to be me having money.
Speaker A
So what? You've got me. No, actually, Carol, um, I wanted to ask you a favorable little bastard nicked a present that I bought for Sheila.
Speaker A
Neither a borrower nor a lender be. Frank Shakespeare. Yeah. Well, he was all right, wasn't he?
Speaker A
In Anne Hathaway's [ __ ] cottage, Sheila's gone on cookery strike. This winter of [ __ ] discontent in me own house. I mean, [ __ ] what's it all about, eh? I'm being punished. And for what? For missing her birthday. And
Speaker A
what's that? Another staging post. Another staging post. Another staging post. On the wrong road to death. To death. To death. To [ __ ] oblivion.
Speaker A
Change the bloody record. Frank. Hey, listen. Is it true about Kevin? Mr. Chip. My lips are sealed. But yes, it is.
Speaker A
All up here is engine [ __ ] bracket. Right. Listen up. We're investigating a serious crime that's taking place. OH.
Speaker A
O. CAN WE HAVE YOUR ATTENTION, PLEASE? QUIET. QUIET. That's better. Now then, I've got some questions.
Speaker A
Excuse me. If you don't mind. Right. First things first. My daughter's been knocked down and someone's going to get a big [ __ ] kicking for it. I'll tell you that for nothing. But that's not the [ __ ] half
Speaker A
of it. Yeah, cuz the stupid little prick that stole my Mandy's bag took something else, too.
Speaker A
Piece of jewelry belonging to my wife, which, let's put it this way, has great sentimental value.
Speaker A
I want it back. So, if anybody has any information about this crime, I expect them to come and talk to me.
Speaker A
Understood. You won't find me ungrateful. If I could just add, if anybody does know anything, then you can come see us in confidence.
Speaker A
All right, Patrick. I see we have both become grand. [ __ ] off you ugly bastard. We don't want you anywhere near him.
Speaker A
Large [ __ ] I hear you were in the shop. Oh, no. I didn't I didn't see out. He's just uh looking odd, you know, just totally covered his face.
Speaker A
Yeah. Well, don't worry about it. This is a CCTV video from the shop. And if I find out from that that you know more than you're letting on. I'll wait till it comes out on DVD.
Speaker A
What was it? A bracelet. A charm bracelet. It's not worth much. Just a few quit. But Mike Patrick voted for me. The first time he come out of prison just after we were married.
Speaker A
Every time he did a spell [music] inside, he'd buy me another charm, celebrate his release.
Speaker A
Oh, Mandy was [music] taken at the Mendes and some little [ __ ] stolen it. Well, trust me, you'll curse the day he was born when my boys get older. [music] It's Mandy in Was [music] it so staying again [music] tonight soon?
Speaker A
Don't start Debbie. Just saying if she is she has to put something into the kitty.
Speaker A
Oh, what is it with you? I'm not living here. Take it easy with the fruit. It's for the kids.
Speaker A
Yeah, we'd all have scampy if it weren't for Ian. What's that? Got it today. Let's have a look.
Speaker A
Hang on. Where did you get that? Intel. Found it. Why? This is mine. It was in my bag.
Speaker A
It can't be yours. It's mine. I'm telling you. It was in my bag that got [ __ ] robbed.
Speaker A
Where'd you get it? I I don't know. Look, I told you I found it.
Speaker A
Oh, [ __ ] sake. [ __ ] off. Where'd you get it? It's none of your business. Was it you, Nick?
Speaker A
Of course it wasn't me. I just got it. All right. Who off? No one.
Speaker A
Who off Ian? I need to find out who robbed the shop so I can get back in with the Magguiers.
Speaker A
[ __ ] hell. Look right. Cuz this place I've been to a couple of times with a M.
Speaker A
What place? It's a cottage. Okay. Cottage? What? Like a little [ __ ] house in the country.
Speaker A
No, a gay cottage. What? I'd laugh. It's just [ __ ] and that. You don't even see them half the time.
Speaker A
How come do it in the dark? No, there's an all in the cubicle wall and you Oh jeez.
Speaker A
And people leave stuff, you know, in return. And that's how you got the waterman.
Speaker A
Yeah, some guy. I got lucky. Who is he? I don't know. You must know his name. I don't know his name. I didn't even see his face. [snorts] [ __ ] Never going to find him and I'm never
Speaker A
going to get to see my daughter. I said I didn't see his face. Didn't say I wouldn't recognize him.
Speaker A
[music] Okay, you bastard. You horrible bastard. We should take fresh me ring a couple of hundred. What were the plan? You going to go to pawn shop? I want you to buy it back up. I won't notice.
Speaker A
I'm sorry. I was desperate. I wasn't thinking straight. This a big chance. I just really wanted to I'd never porn your wedding ring. You know I wouldn't.
Speaker A
You thought about it though. Oh, for 5 minutes. Knew how devastated you'd be. You knew I'd ripped your knackers off.
Speaker A
More like [ __ ] sake though. 20 quid steak. What do I get off your fat car?
Speaker A
Oh, he wasn't interested. He wasn't interested unless I gave him the name of the horse.
Speaker A
Leave it with me. But if you ever try anything like that again, I really will rip your knackers off.
Speaker A
[music] [music] WHAT THE [ __ ] RIGHT. I WANT TO KNOW WHERE THIS CAME FROM. YOU left this in here the other day as a present. It was you in THE SHOP, WASN'T IT? YOU DID THE SHOP OVER.
Speaker A
NO. NO, I DIDN'T. IAN, WHAT'S IT DOING? TELL US THE TRUTH. I AM. I AM. IT'S NOT MINE. I bought it from a bloke in his shop. My shop. A fence. Good.
Speaker A
Who was it? I want a name. I'm sorry. I have a rule. No name.
Speaker A
Well, now my brother's on the other side of that wall and he has a rule never to buy people's conc.
Speaker A
IAN. [screaming] NAME. NOW, IAN. ALL RIGHT. ALL RIGHT. I TELL HE'S DEAD. Good boy.
Speaker A
Oh, hang on. Dope coke ories. [crying] What the [ __ ] hell are you doing here?
Speaker A
Mom, language, baby. You wanted a name for the robber? Just half an hour with Mandy and the baby.
Speaker A
He's at that address most days apparently. [crying] Red lights. Come on. [crying] Come on. Come on. Don't be tight. Be a pie. I know you've got a Frank. Look, forget it. Right. I've told you once. No. No. Sorry. It's not for
Speaker A
me, Kev. It's not for me. It's for Sheila. Yeah. For her birthday. I want to get her a present. Come on. And you know she deserves it.
Speaker A
Barrel. Jesus. [music] [music] Zip it. Thinking of naming her after me mom. Oh no. Please, for [ __ ] sake. You can't call the little baby Mimi. Mimi, that's a nickname. Catherine's a real name. I thought Katie.
Speaker A
Katater. It's all right. That is little Kater here before I forget. What's this for?
Speaker A
Child support. And I can pay you that every month. Forget it, Lip. I don't want it. Family will give us what we need. Look, I know what you're thinking.
Speaker A
You're looking at this beautiful little thing and thinking you want to get involved. You want to play the daddy just like every other lad on the estate.
Speaker A
But try finding any of them after a couple of months when the novelty wears off. You need sling into Paul. Never mind the CSA.
Speaker A
I'm not like that. Take your money, L. You need it more than we do.
Speaker A
What's that supposed to mean? Yeah, you've been putting it about pulling posh girls. Who's told you that?
Speaker A
Never you mind. I'm not seeing her. Just a one night stand. Yeah. Well, hope you use protection.
Speaker A
I'm taking her back in. It's getting a bit chilly. See you around. [music] You come [music] get it. Come on, dude.
Speaker A
All right. Nice and easy, guys. Come on. Come on. Come on. For the last time, where's the [ __ ] bracelet?
Speaker A
We'll untie your hands when you tell us where the bracelet is. Jesus Christ. You're playing a very dangerous game, Sunny.
Speaker A
Right, Donnie? I've had enough of this. Dozy. Can't wire him up. Where's the bracelet?
Speaker A
Come on. It's a dead s getting no money off me. Debit, have you got anything? You can lend us. It's for Sheila's present, right? I've got me gyro coming next Tuesday. You'll get it back. I swear.
Speaker A
I'll look. Debe, don't give it to him. What's the matter with you? You. What are you playing at?
Speaker A
What? Hey, LOOK AT YOU BRAGGING money off your kids. You should be buying her things, dolls and [ __ ] It's only till Tuesday.
Speaker A
You should be loving her. I do love her. YOU SHOULD BE PROTECTING HER. WHAT DOES SHE NEED PROTECTING FROM THIS?
Speaker A
WHAT? This house, this life, this [ __ ] family. Why don't you [ __ ] off out?
Speaker A
Go on. Get out. Where? I don't know. Just out. Go play with your mates. Stop acting like some 40year-old woman. GO PLAY KNOCK AND RUN OR SKIPPING OR whatever it is you do.
Speaker A
LEAVE IT OUT. NO, BOLLOCKS. SHE SHOULD BE out playing. It's half 10. It's too late to be playing out.
Speaker A
Yeah, it's too late for you. She's 13 years old and her life's over. Well done, you [ __ ] Debie, Debbie, I do love her.
Speaker A
Well, we're going to get her a present with the winnings. [music] I'm sorry, Deb.
Speaker A
Mandy won't let me help out with a baby. And I'm sorry. I shouldn't take it out on you.
Speaker A
It's all right. It's a shame. You You'd make a great dad. Oh, yeah. With all his prospects.
Speaker A
Shut it. You She's not too far away. You'll be able to see her. I just wanted to do stuff for her.
Speaker A
Buy her stuff. Get her a poner. [snorts] Why? You know, to ride. She's a Maguire.
Speaker A
[snorts] She ever has a horse, it'll be pulling a rag and bone card. Don't be horrible.
Speaker A
Anyway, she's not all theirs. She's half Magguire and half Gallagher. What the [ __ ] are you looking at?
Speaker A
Not sure which is worse. Don't worry, you'll get to see it. You reckon? Yeah, but not if you're sitting moping around.
Speaker A
You got to do something. Come here. Hey. It all it [music] all. Take down all the way.
Speaker A
They're not in. Look, she's my daughter. I've got a right to see her. They've all gone off.
Speaker A
Gone off where? Look, that [ __ ] you grassed up wouldn't tell us a [ __ ] word. So Pat and my boys are giving him the car park treatment.
Speaker A
What's that? Hang him off the top of the multi-story till he speaks. When are they taking the baby?
Speaker A
Never too early to initiate a Meuire [music] into the ways of the clan. You got a bet on Frank?
Speaker A
No, not as such. No. What's the batting slip for then? What? Oh, yeah. I bet. Oh, sorry. That Yeah. Uh, well, you know, little dabble now and again, as you know, you got to, haven't you?
Speaker A
Is it this race? Um, red car 310. Yeah. Which horse? I forget the name.
Speaker A
Which horse? Rat packing wanker. I needed the cash. Kea's present. Come on. She's starving us out. I had no choice.
Speaker A
How much have you got on it? 60 quid. 60 quid. Where have you got 60 quid from?
Speaker A
Sold the car for 300 quid. Should see the cute the bookies though. Odds have gone right down.
Speaker A
What too? Evens. Evens. Where have you got 60 quid from? Nowhere. Frank, it was 9 to1. It's now evens. What the bloody hell's happened?
Speaker A
I passed the tip on to one or two folk, you know, for a small consideration. You tell Billy Joiner Ned Norton Mickey's brother is a soding bucket.
Speaker A
He's not going to say out. He promised me. Come on back. Hell, Frank. No wonder it's even half a bleeding. Manchester's put a bet on now.
Speaker A
Charging down the side. Rat Pack is beginning to get up. It's Rat Pack from Mr. RAY. RAT PACK WINS BY MR.
Speaker A
Andy's man. You won then. Hate that in it for you and everyone else here. You've all doubled your money. We'd have won three grand if you want to [ __ ] the odds.
Speaker A
I have just spent 20 minutes with Waggy Stone at me tits for [ __ ] all.
Speaker A
Nice one, Frank. Right. Last time. Where is the bracelet? H. Come on. Wait. What the hell you got there, Galaga?
Speaker A
It's for my daughter. Very sweet. I'm sure. Seen as you're here, you can give us a hand dropping this goon off the edge.
Speaker A
Jeez, he's at it again. Thinks it's funny playing give us a [ __ ] clue.
Speaker A
Well, here's one for you. It's a film. Six words. The man who fell to Earth.
Speaker A
It's sign language. I beg your pardon. [ __ ] deaf, isn't it? Any idiot can tell you that.
Speaker A
That explains not screaming with 12,000 volts running through your bollocks. Still deserves a pasting.
Speaker A
Jesus, Magguire, my daughter's being brought up in your house, and you're too thick to realize you're torturing a [ __ ] mute.
Speaker A
Watch what you're [ __ ] seeing. Where's the bracelet? Where is it? Look. See? AND WHAT'S HE SAYING?
Speaker A
I don't know. He's got a pen. Hang on. Spray cam. Good idea. Get it out. This better be [ __ ] good.
Speaker A
No one talks to my family like that. Not even a [ __ ] mute.
Speaker A
still alive. What's he saying? I don't know. He's probably thanking his lucky stars. Right. Come on, lads. Time for a paint.
Speaker A
Find a dog, Kev, and a whiskey chaser. And one for yourself, Veronica. Drink. You going to do with that?
Speaker A
What am I going to do? I'm going to have a big [ __ ] party.
Speaker A
Oh, it's a bit tight, isn't it, Frank? Whatever happened to shared and shared like?
Speaker A
Well, that's what I'm doing, isn't it? Yeah, I mean, but what about your kids?
Speaker A
Kids? Going to need the kids some money, aren't you? Well, well, you know, Deb, you can always do a bit of help with your housekeeping. I mean, and Ian, you can't earn much glass collecting here, can you?
Speaker A
And Carl and Lit, they're always needing new clothes. Jesus. Well, thank [ __ ] I didn't have any more. Liam.
Speaker A
Then there's a twins. That'll be two. Oh, and that. What's that for? That's for me. Hot tips. Cost money.
Speaker A
Francis. [ __ ] hell. There's 40 quid there. And you'll be able to get Sheila something really nice with that, won't you?
Speaker A
[music] I'm sorry, love. I'm afraid that little deaf [ __ ] got away. So, I only hope this [clears throat] will go some way to making up for your loss, [sighs and gasps] Patrick.
Speaker A
Oh, I'm [ __ ] made up. Nice, isn't it? Oh. [laughter] That's Oh my god.
Speaker A
Frank, come home. What's that? It's a little gift. What is it for me? for you.
Speaker A
Happy birthday. Oh, Frank, [gasps] you're such a lovely man. Thank you. Come on, let's get you home. I'm going to cut you a nice Nigel or Adelia.
Speaker A
[panting] You won't need that. Then you can play your tab. Come on. Come on.
Speaker A
Thank you. must have dropped it in the teddy's pocket. Listen, I thought you were really great [music] yesterday. What you said to me, Dad. You know, no one ever stands up to him. So, if you want to come around, see
Speaker A
Katie. Well, that's okay. Cheers, M. Thanks. Can I pick her up? I've not picked her up yet.
Speaker A
Come on, don't [ __ ] drop her. Language, baby. Boy meets girl. Girl's dad kidnaps deaf mute. Boy gets to old [music] baby. It's the age-old story. Thing is, when you look at your own child, you think there's no [music] other bloke in the
Speaker A
entire [ __ ] universe cares as much about this creature as I do. And that's got to mean something.
Speaker A
I was always a terrible sleeper before I met Frank. I used to have a recurring nightmare where I was trapped in a roll of carpet when I was due to turn on the Christmas lights in Copenhagen, home of
Speaker A
the Little Mermaid. It's such a [music] lovely story, The Little Mermaid. She loved the prince so much. She agreed to lose our voice so she can marry him.
Speaker A
Anyway, since Frank and I have been an item, I haven't had the nightmare once.
Speaker A
I like to think it stopped because once I'd met Frank, all my dreams have come true. Well, almost all. The only thing I've got left to dream about is the day I say I do.
Speaker A
I put the Trumps in on a boil wash. Don't [ __ ] count down.
Speaker A
Don't be long, babe. [music] [ __ ] you doing there? Out of supplies. Bingo. Those are mine actually.
Speaker A
[ __ ] off. Expiry date June 06. I don't think so. Okay. From now on, it's too slightly bit on toast. That's per person. Otherwise, the bread budget's just a big joke.
Speaker A
Hello. Yeah. More toast. What are you doing sleeping outside? Ask Carl. He had a fight. only with himself.
Speaker A
Good night, Carl. Surprised you got a wink of sleep. [ __ ] Fire. Bloody hell. Fire.
Speaker A
What was that made of? I'm sorry, Carol. Just reacted. I [snorts] thought it were Marty. [ __ ] Are you burning?
Speaker A
Memories. Suit of my dead husband betrayed from beyond the grave. Man-made fiber drip dry.
Speaker A
Shall I make you a coffee or will I be disturbing the crime scene? I know what it's like in CSI. Oh, it's okay, Sheila.
Speaker A
Have you had a chance to sort out what's missing? That's the funny thing. I don't know if they were disturbed.
Speaker A
Oh my god, THEY'RE TAKING MY LOOK. [laughter] OH, BLOODY HELL. OH, BLOODY HELL. WELL, he definitely came in the bedroom.
Speaker A
Looks like he tried to disguise himself and all. Oh, no. That's mine. [ __ ] idiot. If you left that thing out, I'd probably thought it was a trunction.
Speaker A
That's funny. You've just broken my dream. Oh, Tony, love. It's an easy mistake to make.
Speaker A
Well, for me, you mean. It's no wonder girls, women don't fancy us. It's like they smell it on me, Sheila. It's no joke at my age, is it?
Speaker A
Oh, thieves. All right, Carol. Looks like your mouth is getting on. Okay. Search uniforms on me.
Speaker A
Carl, what's wrong? You of all people stay away from me. Shoplifter is 2 female.
Speaker A
Roger. Receive proceeding to aisle two. Carol, what's wrong? What is it? Carol, you sure? [ __ ] She don't like to do something.
Speaker A
Stop her. Carol. Carol, what are you doing? MARTY, LET GO OF ME. Keep hold of her.
Speaker A
Look, Marty, I haven't done anything. Stop lifting. Yo. [screaming] Well, they're not pressing charges.
Speaker A
Five pots of chicken tonight and lemon zestester. What were you playing at, Mom? I suppose it's too much to expect a bit of moral support from your own flesh and blood.
Speaker A
It was Marty's first day. When did he ever keep a job for more than 5 minutes?
Speaker A
Anyway, if you're looking for somebody to blame, blame her. Penny to a pound, it was her that tipped off the manager.
Speaker A
Lillian, she's your best mate. Why would she do a thing like that? [snorts] Found it in the pocket of that suit of your dad's.
Speaker A
Christ. You always said you thought he would dip in his wit Jubilee year. Yeah, but with what's her name? Terrible teeth. You were too young to remember.
Speaker A
We were as thick as thieves, Veronica. Lillian and Brendan, and me and your dad.
Speaker A
Oh, oh, don't worry about me. I'm not one to sit idly by. And she's so so shy. Reap you my my words. [music] Yes. Hello. I'd like to report some of the benefit fraud. Chadzsworth Estate, Meadow Bank Road. [music]
Speaker A
Yes, that's right. Number 28. [ __ ] scum. Benefit fraud. Who do you think they're having on, eh? That's Big Brother, isn't it? Oh, well. 1984.
Speaker A
Sex crime. Sex crime. Of course, Paul Bugger would know all about that. George Orwell. Real name Eric Blair. Lifelong socialist. So no relation to Tony.
Speaker A
395. Frank. It's the thin end of a wedge. You know, Kev, what is it? It's roots to what's even call it. If you drive a wedge into the community, you can do what you like, aren't you? It's how Hitler started.
Speaker A
They're after Lillian now. [ __ ] tw some [ __ ] called in, didn't they? Looked at that poster and thought I know. I'll [ __ ] her up. Why?
Speaker A
Ah, mom on your neighbors. Keep repeating on me again. Should have known better. They're not even paying.
Speaker A
Is that what it's come to? Cuz if it is, [ __ ] Bin Laden's one he adore.
Speaker A
Dunkerk live a bomb the lot medal start again. I hear there's a push on. It's not just them posters, Frank. They're not relying on anybody calling in. As if anybody would.
Speaker A
Well, we are. No, apparently they're looking into everyone around here who's claiming. Well, I'm [ __ ] then. You and half the [ __ ] estate.
Speaker A
We're off. Well, did you hear that then, Mom? Down the community center. As soon as you can. Anybody help?
Speaker A
You're not a bit worried, Frank? Plight of the common man, mates. It's never over till the fat lady [ __ ] you over. Anyway, [ __ ] can't get me, can they? I'm dead.
Speaker A
Yeah, but haven't you and Lillian been claiming for a Brendan? Where's the money? That was went down like a [ __ ] lead balloon.
Speaker A
Right guys, after the estate has scanned it, they're asked for the ticket. Then let's go.
Speaker A
Let's knock on every door. Alice, this is Pierce for you. What she want? Thank you very much, folks.
Speaker A
Guess what she wants. What did you last die of? So, let's meet Julia and her husband John. Come on out.
Speaker A
Christ alive, Carl. What they've been feeding you, baby bio. We've had a call from the social.
Speaker A
Another one. I know. I thought we sorted it out last time you were around. Can you come, love?
Speaker A
Yeah, whatever. Still a teller, is it? [music] Now then, can you confirm that there is a child under 18 permanently resident at your address, 26 Metabank Road?
Speaker A
Yes, we can. And that you are the parent or approved guardian of that child.
Speaker A
Last time we looked. Hey, Dad. That's a yes, then. And you are currently claiming child benefit for Nathan Andrew Pierce.
Speaker A
That's correct. He's a big lad for 10, isn't he? Nathan, don't know where he came from, do we, Dad? New pair of trainers every 5 minutes.
Speaker A
Yep, that's secure. Hey, you've done a good job there, Sheila. They won't be bothering you again.
Speaker A
Taught myself to be handy with the power tool. Never looked better, really. Never really got into DIY myself.
Speaker A
[music] [bell] See, I'm too quick, right? It's like I'm in there and I'm trying to stop myself, you know? Think of I don't know, all the teams ever managed by Graeme Sooners. I think of [ __ ] Graeme Sooners, but
Speaker A
it's like being in a road accident. And I mean, I'm flooring the brakes, but nothing stopping me. And then yeah, through the windscreen gone in 60 seconds.
Speaker A
Five if I'm lucky. No one's exactly coming back for more. Oh, Tony love. Squeeze technique works like a charm.
Speaker A
Eddie, you know Karen's dad? He was a 10-second wonder when we first got together.
Speaker A
And you're practically family, aren't you? There you go. You say you're the landlord. Mock up the mebook and they can't do your browsing benefit right?
Speaker A
Nice one. It'll just be a minute. It's cash in advance. Oh, Carl. I told Emily you'd be a brother. They've got a visit around theirs. Yeah, they paying.
Speaker A
[ __ ] off. She's my girlfriend. It's a favor. I don't mind. Next. Now, I've been coming for a tag.
Speaker A
Cheers, Lillian. Love, we'll soon set the boogers, right? Eh, don't mind boring your husband, dear, Sheila.
Speaker A
Of course you can. Dinner time tomorrow then. Anyway, warfare. You seem just as [ __ ] are trying to catch you out. See, if we eat together, I'll get her a bit of ham.
Speaker A
Hey, and yours was right to marry you. No spam. I don't think I like it, Frank. Dead man's shoes.
Speaker A
Terms and conditions, Shield. I mean, I've been getting half of Brendan's disability. It's the least I can do, isn't it?
Speaker A
This doesn't feel right to me, though. Cracking on your marriage. It's like tempting fate.
Speaker A
So, Miss um Jackson, you've been reported as working behind the bar here while claiming unemployment benefit and housing benefit.
Speaker A
Yeah. Well, she helps you out from time to time, don't you, honey? That's all. I mean, wouldn't your girlfriend do the same for you?
Speaker A
Well, if she did and we were living together, she'd be unable to claim benefit. Under current regulations, I'd be assumed to be supporting her. Well, it's not our problem that society won't recognize our relationship. We know how we feel.
Speaker A
Don't we Karen love? Oh, hi mom. Mia, do you know someone in your family that needs to watch You got to read me brother. Yeah.
Speaker A
The one with the Asbo. He lives in Stockport with me dad, but they think he lives with us.
Speaker A
This is mom. Me stepdad. Troy lip's little brother. I love you. You hear that? That is so [ __ ] Sounds all right to me.
Speaker A
Yeah. No, can't for a bit. I'll text you. Right. It's a piece of [ __ ] Totally [ __ ] ate it. So this 3G mobile I just got in when I was in town.
Speaker A
Oh, it's that lush. Dead light. Tinier, thin, but really good picture quality. Makes sure look like a [ __ ] piece of [ __ ] Troy, better start saving up then, haven't you?
Speaker A
Will you tell him? Don't wind her up, Troy. Have you asked him if he wants a cappuccino?
Speaker A
No, I'm right. Thanks. [ __ ] you looking at? Thanks very much, Linda. Cheers.
Speaker A
Cheers. Sh very much. See you later, Emily. It's 3G. Yeah. Where's the video bit? I'll only charge your attender for it.
Speaker A
You've broken our call in formeg. Nothing. He's helping with his homework. Yeah. Listen, tell Debbie I won't be in later. Said I'd do her book going around Emily's.
Speaker A
Hello. Landon Tyler lives. Mind help out me. Mayday, mayday, mayday. Die, die, die. Wish me luck, babes.
Speaker A
What's he wearing all THAT FOR? OUTSIDE. OUTSIDE. SHOOT ON ME. Lillian was around this morning.
Speaker A
Frank's asked for some photos of her. Can you relax your grip a bit? Do you want to see why?
Speaker A
Yeah. She looks a bit tight. You reckon it's for the social to add authenticity? Frank says, "Makes you think though, don't it? Made me think." Anyway, seeing it. He's never asked me.
Speaker A
You know, Tony, that should be me there. Emily, I really wanted to um Yeah, I I found this and I really wanted to give it you. For Christ's sake, I'll give it a rest, will you?
Speaker A
I won't do it out. Sooner you get yourself laid, right? Sooner I can get a proper night's sleep. What's her name?
Speaker A
Jason Digby sister. She'll suck anybody off. Yeah, right. [snorts] Even Jason Digby sister's not that [ __ ] desperate. I weren't doing our what?
Speaker A
I um wanted to give it you. They rent a video bit. Just got the upgrade.
Speaker A
Turn. Come on. J might give you a five for it. I want TO TURN.
Speaker A
GIVE ME. I want to turn. It's mine. Come on. Come on. You can't just [ __ ] barge in here.
Speaker A
We're looking for Dom Lawson. Don't you not ever talk to each other. We've sorted all this out, aren't we, Troy?
Speaker A
Your son is here. Mrs. Lawson, you're looking at him now. What's your [ __ ] problem?
Speaker A
[ __ ] that. Condition of your veil, Dominic. Fail? WHAT ARE YOU ON ABOUT?
Speaker A
Maybe if you bother to turn up for the hearing. Mrs. Don't start on me, you sanctimonious old [ __ ] Since the ass clearly failed to control your son, and he's now been charged with a crime, the court's taken a decision to
Speaker A
tag him. Make sure he stays at home. You mental you are. We keep them [music] things on for like a month.
Speaker A
Yeah, but don't worry. We're back next week, won't we? Going to one of them Slavic countries of his dad picking up some knockoff DVDs. Hang on.
Speaker A
Road and not allowed. T go off. What if the tag goes off? Cops will come and get me. Supposed to get Emily's and ring him so he can check up on me.
Speaker A
Dream come true. What's that supposed to mean? You fancy Emily, don't you? [ __ ] off.
Speaker A
Do a [ __ ] Flip will wake up with her in a few weeks. He [music] always does. Or they truck him. Bet you anything. Thing is though, a girl like Emily, I mean, learn to drive before you set your heart in a
Speaker A
Ferrari. Do you think I need a car? In the end, right, there's either chemistry or there isn't. It's all to do with the way you smell.
Speaker A
They've tested it on chimps. Where the [ __ ] are we? [ __ ] Frank. [music] Frank.
Speaker A
She think you wanted. Come over here. Come on. Come on. You all right, love? I've got your mommy.
Speaker A
[laughter] Married for 40 years. Never across [ __ ] word. [laughter] She I don't have to sit there for my face rubbed in at Frank Galler. She's not paying me.
Speaker A
What's gone out to do with you? No, cuz I'm nothing, I suppose. Just a bit on the side. Of course you are.
Speaker A
What? You don't think I'm well? Lillian and me. [ __ ] off. This is 2020 vision, Sheila. Eh, and I'm in sound mind.
Speaker A
THE [ __ ] SAKE. SORT YOURSELF OUT, WILL YOU? HEY, come on. You know you shouldn't mix your drinks.
Speaker A
I'm sorry. I know you'd never be unfaithful. I trust you with my life. It's just all that being married stuff and having it thrown back in my face.
Speaker A
No, I shouldn't say it, but if I just had a ring on my finger.
Speaker A
Shimmy love you know. [ __ ] hell. You know there is nothing I would like more than to call you Mrs. Frank Gallagher.
Speaker A
I don't know. No. But the Yeah, but no. No, because you're still married to, you know, Eddie the Owl. I'm still married to Monica. Plus, there's the being dead thing.
Speaker A
with star crossed [snorts] the love that dare not speak its name. You know what I mean? I don't blame you.
Speaker A
Does me. Eddie, there's not a day goes by. Yeah, but [sighs] you know I love you to bits. You know that.
Speaker A
Oh, I'm sorry, Frank. I just thought you know cuz you never asked. [panting] Sheila Jackson, will you do me the honor of being my wife to have and to hold for richer and poorer and all that other shite till
Speaker A
death do us part? Yes, Frank. Frank, [laughter] I love you so much. I love you so much.
Speaker A
Yeah. Yeah. But see, Monica's a mad Catholic [ __ ] you know. She'll never let us go. [gasps] LET'S GO AND TELL EVERYONE AGAIN.
Speaker A
[screaming] [laughter] Lord will judgement and early MEN GET DOWN. THEY ARE SUFFERED WITH MY PILES OVER VERONICA. I WAS TOLD IN THAT IT WAS A calm down.
Speaker A
No, I can't say I'm overly impressed with the espresso. All right, Carl. Love, I've put your duvet down in Harley's room. When do you have to ring in again?
Speaker A
Midnight at 7:00. What's going on? Texted L three times this afternoon. Where the [ __ ] is he? I haven't seen him for 2 days.
Speaker A
Don't know. said he'd come around here last night. Oh, he's probably got another laugh on the go.
Speaker A
It's not [ __ ] funny. You're right. I was only having a laugh. That's sensitive. Always been like that, aren't you, chick?
Speaker A
Must get wrong about our lip coming around. Weren't really listening. You know, we really do appreciate this.
Speaker A
Don't we eminently? Don't know why bloss think you can. Sorry. only um I thought you're supposed to get right with tits when you've had a baby.
Speaker A
[ __ ] off. She's on bottles. Breastfeeding's better. You do it then. It's like [ __ ] like natural. Is it going to come back and see her, you know? Just didn't want to wake her up. I was an epic every time I put her in a
Speaker A
muggy. You're all right. I've got to uh I said I go see someone, you know.
Speaker A
Oh, yeah. Still on with Emily Lawson then. It's just Well, suits us both. They don't talk at all. To be honest, I think she finds me a bit boring.
Speaker A
Don't knock her up at all. Might have learned my lesson on that one. [music] The UB 673. You need to take a whole afternoon for that one. See where the bro run out. Replaced by UB96.
Speaker A
Mrs. Jackson, I can see you've kept excellent records. Really excellent. I'm satisfied everything's in order at your end. Is there anything you'd like to ask me?
Speaker A
As a matter of fact, how would notifying you of a change in my circumstances affect my eligibility to claim if I were to get married.
Speaker A
[gasps] [sighs] Tony, come in please. Domestic at 12 way. Tony, come in please. Yeah, I'll be there in 10 over.
Speaker A
Hey, bud. Watch. Don't let Debbie see you. She's talking about one bowl per family member per day.
Speaker A
You bastard. What's this an ambush? I saw you with that skank manu. So what?
Speaker A
That's who you've been seeing, isn't it? Seeing? Yeah. You're a [ __ ] disgrace you are.
Speaker A
What's she got to do with you [ __ ] You're supposed to be going out with Emily.
Speaker A
The only reason I'm seeing Mandy is to see my kid. It's got nothing to do with Emily.
Speaker A
Didn't see with a baby today, though. Why did you lie he was going around Emily's the other night if you're not shagging Mandy? Why you keeping it a secret if it's just what you said?
Speaker A
[ __ ] off. Yeah, I'm waiting ages for you. Thought you could help me with me math.
Speaker A
I mean it. [laughter] [screaming] D. [snorts] [ __ ] Um, I really wanted to No, no, no, no, no. I um did de um Oh, god. [ __ ] [music] Got to do the tag. [ __ ] SAKE. LET GO,
Speaker A
WILL YOU? She's ringing the [ __ ] ambulance. [ __ ] that for. He knew. I told him, Emily, no [ __ ] strikes in this house. YOU TOUCHED ANOTHER WOMAN. THAT'S IT. YOU'RE OUT.
Speaker A
DIDN'T HAVE TO [ __ ] kill him. Oh [ __ ] He never Well, you know he'd never LOOK AT ANOTHER WOMAN. THEN WHY HAVE WE GOT CRAMPS IN THE HOUSE?
Speaker A
SOMEONE'S BEEN SHAGGING AROUND, EMILY. AND IT'S NOT ME. YEAH, BUT Lip's been shagging around.
Speaker A
[ __ ] sake, Sheila. The [ __ ] this? I've updated all the records. Frank, what?
Speaker A
Mr. Anastasia was ever so helpful. He said he'd rectify wherever possible. Rectify everything. all your benefits and they're all backdated.
Speaker A
Look, [ __ ] [laughter] [ __ ] massive. [ __ ] me. Penanish from [ __ ] heaven.
Speaker A
[laughter] I've been on to the registry office. They say we've got to give them 6 weeks notice to close the vans, but we don't have to have the do there. But that's all right. I was thinking the Gourmet
Speaker A
Hotel. They always do such a lovely buffet. [gasps] Yeah, hang on. Rewind. Oh, I'm getting ahead of myself. Oh, Frank Edis agreed to a divorce.
Speaker A
Yeah, but last I heard you didn't even have an address for him. Tony gave me a hand. the DVLC computer.
Speaker A
[sighs] Edd's happy to sign any papers we want. So that's him. You're alive. And then there's just Monica. Surely even Monica wouldn't get in the way of our happiness. Frank.
Speaker A
Yeah, but you know she's a complex character. Monica, she can't stand it away. Frank, she can't.
Speaker A
[ __ ] hell, she's the hang. Jeez. Look. Look. I'll get on the bus and go over there now.
Speaker A
Yeah. Do it in person. You know, seize the nettle. [laughter] Sheila love. I'm on to it.
Speaker A
[laughter] All them years. It's a [ __ ] piece of paper. You can't just Marriage is a solemn state entered into by a man and a woman in state. Yeah.
Speaker A
Yeah. For the [ __ ] state. Cogs in the [ __ ] wheels. Plus the old thing costs a [ __ ] mint.
Speaker A
Like keeps it all going, doesn't it? Yeah. It's an industry classic. I do. You're [ __ ] and all the talking.
Speaker A
What have you been saying to our Emily? [ __ ] all. I just said her boyfriend's a scall. Well, he [ __ ] is, isn't he?
Speaker A
You haven't been using them towels on the landing, have you? Better shower. I put them out for a boil wash. They must be crawling.
Speaker A
You can tell your brother is [ __ ] dead right? You can pay for the stuff from the [ __ ] chemist.
Speaker A
I'm really sorry, Emily. It's just lip. He deserve a twatting. I tried telling him. I mean, you should be with someone who does stuff for you. Gives you all the presents and stuff. You're gorgeous.
Speaker A
And I know you like understand stuff about people cuz you feel things like what I do. There's always stuff I could talk to you about. Stuff in me head.
Speaker A
Yeah. Co, can you just [ __ ] off? Who's he? Push off, will you? And tell him not to bother calling me again. Yeah.
Speaker A
your brother at home then. Cal Troy. Troy won't live with Emily. Troy, [ __ ] it.
Speaker A
You can stop. DRIVE. STOP. IT WASN'T HIM. IT was Emily with a crap. She's a slag. She's been shagging another lad. A lad with a car. She's a slag.
Speaker A
You call him my Mrs. Lass? A slack. SHE'S A [ __ ] SLAG. NO. STOP IT. [ __ ] YOU DOING? LEAVE HIM ALONE.
Speaker A
[ __ ] off out of it. I said leave him alone. And I said [ __ ] off before you get hurt.
Speaker A
It's none of your [ __ ] business. I'm warning you. If you don't [ __ ] off now, I'm calling me dad.
Speaker A
And who's your dad love? Patrick [ __ ] Magguire. That's right. Landy Magguire. Suppose if he's not around, one of brothers might be free.
Speaker A
No, no, you're all right. Sorry. Sorry, love. You never learn, do you? I didn't do all. Somebody's told you I was shagging around.
Speaker A
[ __ ] little halfife. I thought you were shy man. [ __ ] off.
Speaker A
Even if I did, I can't believe his language is [ __ ] like that.
Speaker A
Chase, you landed everyone else IN IT. HEY, HEY, HEY. COME ON. YOU COULD HAVE [ __ ] killed me.
Speaker A
I thought you giving everyone crabs. What? Lip gave Kyle crabs. Oh, you must have known. I was just beginning to worry about Majene. They say you can't overcook a brace, but there are limits.
Speaker A
[snorts] I thought we'd have a little celebration. Tell me if I'm being over the top, but if you can't be over the top for a wedding, I've got my heart set on a crock and bouch instead of a fruit cake.
Speaker A
Look, sponge sugar all over. Some people are intimidated by shoe pastry, but actually it's quite straightforward.
Speaker A
She wasn't in Monica, we were both out at homes. I see. We just thought I'd try again tomorrow.
Speaker A
We've got all the time in the world where I know, Frank. I may be stupid, but I'm I'm not blind.
Speaker A
No. Yeah, right. I do know to tell you the truth. If I was you, I'm not sure I'd want to marry me either. I thought just this once. You know what I'm like? Had it on my school report
Speaker A
once. Sheila had her in a books as much as she does it in a cloud. She'd be top of the class.
Speaker A
Never felt like daydreaming. Just felt like I was waiting for something. Never knew what.
Speaker A
And you came along and I knew I knew just like that. Sorry. Um, there's a raspberry panic cotta in the fridge. If you got room, it's nicest if you bring it up to room temperature.
Speaker A
I'm a bit shattered. Yeah. Hello. Hello. Sh normal. Frank. Frank Gallagher. What the [ __ ] What did you just call?
Speaker A
No. What did you just call me? You lying string of piss. What you want?
Speaker A
Can I have a word with Monica? Oh, [ __ ] sake. You go fellas. Now put your money away.
Speaker A
All drinks wrong from Frank Gallagher. It's real diamond. Unique design. See how the stones catch the light, giving it an extra dimension. Did you get it off TV? [laughter] Frank said I could take my pick.
Speaker A
[crying] [ __ ] Look at my [ __ ] me. Look at him. Will you bit it? I mean, well, my and dad getting a divorce.
Speaker A
Compared to what? Crop circles. Dad's going with Sheila. Mom and Norma. Yeah, I know. But now they're never going to get back together.
Speaker A
Hey, [music] did you happen to see the most beautiful girl in the world? You do want Normal service has resumed.
Speaker A
Unfortunately, me mom shagged me uncle right meant to cast funeral. I remind you that well it sort of put in its place you know me dad shagging the lean. It was like he's retaliating.
Speaker A
We're pulling out. Had a call. Head office has cost it out. We're paying you a lot more than when we started. My number's on there. You can, you know, bring your friend.
Speaker A
Oh, what are you expecting? A pillar fight. Don't do us any favors, you spineless little prick. We're dyes, not [ __ ] wank foder for pathetic little [ __ ] like you. Go on to your internet.
Speaker A
Oh, by the way, my cock's twice the size of yours. You tell him, Jess.
Speaker A
[cheering] Kev only kid takes after a dad. You know Phillip. Phillip. It's a very special feeling.
Speaker A
Yeah. Everyone says that. No, I don't mean the kid. That's bollocks. I mean, it's a very special feeling you have for the mother of your children.
Speaker A
I've only got one so far. Not quite in your league. Yeah. Well, whatever happens, they can't take that away from you. You know, them feelings.
Speaker A
It's like, you know, it's in your bones. It's like when cancer spreads and they give up on the [ __ ] chemo.
Speaker A
Oh, Frank, come on. Have a dance. [panting] Oh, I love you so much. Come on.
Speaker A
[music] That night in the jockey, I felt like the queen. Sheila Gala. Just sounds right, doesn't it? Like it was meant to be.
Speaker A
We all have had ups and downs. Good days, bad days, days spent hiding under the covers. But most of the time, life just trundles along quite nicely. The big stuff happens when you least expect it. It's It's like snakes and ladders as
Speaker A
a kid. One minute [music] you're romping up the board, laughing at them beneath you. The next you're on your ass at the bottom, having to start all over again.
Speaker A
[music] There she goes. There she [music] goes again. You have to [ __ ] chimp all the bed.
Speaker A
Leave him alone. It's his birthday. The long-standing rule, Frank. On your birthday, you can play whatever music you like. Do I get that, Jess? Of course, you do. When your neck in 12th of June, Gemini, the twins have always sensed.
Speaker A
Job, meals, and accommodation. I think what she likes. Restaurants booked for 7:00. Three course meal with a 10 off check taxi.
Speaker A
He'll be here in 5 minutes and he's not answering his phone. Oh, he's just clicking on to voicemail and jockeyy's ringing out.
Speaker A
Might have been knocked over. I'm just saying roll. It's his birthday. You think he made the bleeding his own bleeding birthday? It's a useless odd.
Speaker A
Which restaurant is it? Luigi's on show. Nice. Well, if he doesn't show, I might take up your reservation. Norman loves Italian food.
Speaker A
Who's Norman? My new gentleman. And let me tell you, that's exactly what he is.
Speaker A
Oh, at last. What's the matter? What's happened? It's Kev's mom. She's dead. She's committed suicide.
Speaker A
Suicide? How? She [ __ ] jumped six floors up. She even took one out on the ground.
Speaker A
You mean she flattened somebody? Traffic warning. Didn't know I hit him. Last ticket he'll be giving.
Speaker A
[laughter] Oh, come here. Can't believe she killed herself on me birthday. Yeah, for the shock.
Speaker A
This is all this crap. Did nothing else come this morning? Was there anything else? Did you see anything else?
Speaker A
Kev, she were depressed. You said yourself she probably didn't even know what day it was.
Speaker A
How could she not know, Veronica? 32 years the [ __ ] day of all the days she could have picked.
Speaker A
She could have sent me a [ __ ] card. [snorts] [snorts] Superb choice. The only trouble is Italian food makes me really horny. He definitely come here.
Speaker A
Mom, Norman, this is my daughter Veronica and her partner Kev. Sorry to hear about your loss.
Speaker A
Wonderful restaurant though. They're loading someone up. Chapter rest. That's what I'm doing. It'd be all right. Oh Jesus.
Speaker A
What? Reverse. Reverse. What the [ __ ] the matter? Just move a truck. You're on a crying [ __ ] hard enough. Can you move?
Speaker A
Can't get it in [ __ ] What? [ __ ] [ __ ] HURT.
Speaker A
CHRIST. WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME [ __ ] CAR? WHAT WERE THEY ALL ABOUT? YOU KNOW I CAN'T DRIVE WHEN I'M IN A PANIC.
Speaker A
So who is she? Who's who? I know in a chapel arrest kev but I will still look [ __ ] you.
Speaker A
Look it it's complicated but I'm not even sure I'm not Roxy. Roxy Benson. I thought she was in prison.
Speaker A
She was. So what's she doing here? Well, she knew me, Mom. She must come to pay her respects or something.
Speaker A
Roxy ball. She signed herself ball. We are still married. V. She hasn't seen you for 10 years. You asked her for a divorce when she was inside. Why the [ __ ] would she still be calling herself ball?
Speaker A
if you'd like to come through. She's absolutely [ __ ] gorgeous. My mom Roxy, she was stunning when you married her. You told me. Not now. Ivy, does she still look the same?
Speaker A
Monica, perhaps you'd like to say your goodbyes now Kevin. Yeah. Bye, Mom. Hope you've gone to a better place.
Speaker A
Could have sent me a birthday card though. first night. Stop what you doing. Banana thing and I had this massive fight with Greg.
Speaker A
We're out. Promised her to breakfast in bed. Okay, if I uh Hey, you gorgeous.
Speaker A
An old Monday. It's Friday. How you fixed? What? the whole day. That problem, Daddy. I'm begging to spend time with her.
Speaker A
No, no. It's um Kev's mom's died. Funeral's Friday. Close. Where are you? Trophy. Warden.
Speaker A
Never mind. [music] state of this place. I wonder if she jumped. Sorry. How could she not leave her out?
Speaker A
When you pop out for milk, you leave a note. [music] Down the shops now.
Speaker A
I mean, would it have killed her to leave her out? Let's just get a thing sorted then. Then you need never come here again. choking on you.
Speaker A
Lick a paint few rugs down. I'm thinking bachelor pad cards, girls, footy games. Somewhere to put me head down when you're getting on me neck. [music] You doing here I'll drink bedroom.
Speaker A
Slip your gown off. No, man. No, no. Trust me. Slip it off. There. That's how God intended you to be. Free from concealment. Now tell me that doesn't feel natural.
Speaker A
Sorry, I'm always a touch flatulent after carbonara. [music] No wonder she were depressed. She kept a scrapbook on Diana's life. Really detailed. Marriage, kids, affairs.
Speaker A
There's even a section on bulimia. God, this is certifiable. Didn't you know she was a Diana freak?
Speaker A
I'm starting to think I didn't know at all. Of them. Your mom and Roxy, you must be lying to each other the whole time she was in prison.
Speaker A
Tell you what, you better start going to adult literacy class again. Yeah, I don't need a lecture. C. Just read the [ __ ] letters, won't you?
Speaker A
Tell you what, it's pretty heavy stuff. What sort of the way she talks about you? Kev's still the one I think about lights out. The times we had together were so special.
Speaker A
You winding me up cuz of me and it car. This isn't Tell you what, just get someone else to read him then. All right.
Speaker A
Yeah. We have this really intense relationship. Well, we managed the works. It was like living inside a tornado. Few drunks down her neck, she turned into a monster.
Speaker A
How long was she in prison? A few years. GBH. She's a lunatic. She's gorgeous, though.
Speaker A
Yeah. Yeah. Sexual smiles. Oh, you'll be all right. Probably won't even see it again.
Speaker A
Hey, Kev. Long time no see. I got out a few weeks before Christmas. I'm still on probation, so if I misbehave, they'll have me straight back inside.
Speaker A
You see different rocks? Sort of. I don't know, like karma. Jill's been good for me. Rehabilitation.
Speaker A
Learned a lot about myself. Anger management, two classes a [music] week. Why do you think I'm on this stuff?
Speaker A
Yeah, I'm not going to lie. Pretty fiery after a tiple. Fiery was freaking deranged.
Speaker A
[laughter] I'm really sorry about you, M. She was a lovely woman. [music] Did I?
Speaker A
Yeah. Yeah, we got on. Did you keep in touch with her when you were inside?
Speaker A
We w a bit. both had time on our hands. She always kept me informed about you.
Speaker A
That was a boring old breath. [music] No, not at all. I enjoyed hearing about you.
Speaker A
Is he serving today or what? O lazy ass. Jess, that's his wife or his ex before Veronica.
Speaker A
You two are getting close these days, aren't you? His mom's died. Jez suppose still don't let him take advantage.
Speaker A
So this woman you're with Veronica serious about her? Been together 10 years. But you've not married?
Speaker A
Well, we sort of got married. Just wasn't legal. But we're still married. So that makes you a big mist.
Speaker A
Well, yeah. Just not legally. [laughter] Can we get you another drink? No, I'm going to get on. Bod.
Speaker A
But it was really nice to see you, Kev. Yeah, and you guess I'll see you at the funeral.
Speaker A
[music] Oh Jesus. Thought you'd asleep. Doesn't usually bother you. Consulate rang. They've rang every bar in Pathos.
Speaker A
They can't trace your Kelly. We'll have to do the funeral without her. Well, we can't do that, Veronica. It's her mom and all.
Speaker A
Well, they could only wait so long. Kev can't have dead bodies ain't going to end all year.
Speaker A
No. No. Bloody hell, Kelly. could have left a contact. What's the matter? Oh, apart from the fact that my mom's dead and I can't find me [ __ ] sister.
Speaker A
Nothing. Hey, come here. Veronica about the funeral. Think I should get me suit cleaned.
Speaker A
You [music] [music] all right? You've got to hold your legs [music] close and slide up your under. How many hours do you think I've got?
Speaker A
Well, come here then. I've got to learn. Have you ever met a man depressive?
Speaker A
Hard work. You were on the scene in the deck. Literally in my mom's case.
Speaker A
Mental illness is a terrible affliction. Well, you'll know better than us. How do you mean, Sheila?
Speaker A
My mom's not mentally ill, is she? I got these for the top of the wedding cake.
Speaker A
I fell in love with them straight away. They look just like me and Frank.
Speaker A
[ __ ] I left the bottle in the kitchen. Oh, come on and GET HERE. COME ON, EVERYONE.
Speaker A
DRINK UP. CHOP CHOP. HANG ON TWO SECONDS. LOOK, that's the baby's bottle next door.
Speaker A
[music] Chief Mourers in this first car. Everyone else to the rear, please. Roxy, the [ __ ] you doing there?
Speaker A
It's what you would have [music] wanted. Everybody [music] happy? Lovely. [music] Promise me one thing. You won't close your mind to possibilities. Because life's an exploration, Carol. You never know what you'll like unless you try it.
Speaker A
What have you got in mind? Yeah, I know. Everybody's probably said it, but if there's anything I can do, Hey Karen, you get some decent music side.
Speaker A
Did you know her? Not really. As mad as mustard. They were never that close. Kez family.
Speaker A
Debbie. No, it's suicide. It's part of the natural eb and flow. Used to be wars and famine. Now it's miserable. Basters chucking themselves off tower blocks.
Speaker A
They're just lightening the load, making sure there's enough space left for the rest of us. You think I'm talking bollocks, don't you? Well, let me tell you something, smart ass. She was a mistake. Nobody [ __ ] ordered her. She
Speaker A
just arrived. So, so to equal each mistake, someone has to check out early. So, what about the people who can't have kids like Kevin Veronica? Does someone come back to [ __ ] life?
Speaker A
Natural selection. Darwin in 2001. Who'd want to see the offspring of that pair of [ __ ] reprobates? Come out looking like Jiminy Cricket.
Speaker A
You don't have to hate me. You know, Veronica, just because he used to fall at my feet, it doesn't mean anything.
Speaker A
It's how he feels now that matters. [music] I just can't get you out of my [music] head for your loving song. I think I just can't get you out of my head.
Speaker A
It's more than I dare to think of. Remember me? I know it must be hard prizing myself away from tarty tits, but I'm your [ __ ] wife. I know your game, love. Hey, I met your tight before.
Speaker A
Nicest pirate shot you in the back. Bob's my husband now. So you can take your pretty face and go and get [ __ ] Your husband? You want to check the marriage certificate? Last time I looked, IT SAID ROXY BALD.
Speaker A
Ancient history, sweetheart. Funny how we never got a divorce. YOU IN [ __ ] PRISON.
Speaker A
OR MAYBE YOU JUST WANTED A PROPER WOMAN. Someone who could give him kids. You poisonous [ __ ] [ __ ] Leave her alone.
Speaker A
LEAVE HER ALONE. [screaming] YOU SLACK. I'M [ __ ] UP YOU. Take her home.
Speaker A
There's your mom. I think I got most of them. Foxy. You okay? I'm sorry. That shouldn't have happened.
Speaker A
Wasn't your fault. Can't believe she's gone. No, we weren't close. What? She's my mom.
Speaker A
I'm never going to see her again. Do you want to talk about her? [music] What do you think?
Speaker A
You bastard. Veronica. Veronica. [ __ ] Veronica. It's not how it looks. COME HERE.
Speaker A
KNOCKING UP. GET AWAY FROM ME. LISTEN TO ME. STAY AWAY BECAUSE IT'S over again.
Speaker A
It's over. [music] [music] Veronica, [ __ ] sake. Will you just hear me out?
Speaker A
Nothing happened. What's going on? What was it? Look like she booted me out. She booted you out after last night.
Speaker A
She caught me and Roxy at my mom's place. Kev, you didn't. Look, nothing happened.
Speaker A
You and Roxy say better and nothing happened. Veronica, what? Bloody hell. Oh, you talk to Veronica. She's thrown him out. You say what?
Speaker A
Something. They're splitting up. Did you do it, Kev? Did you shag Roxy? Truth. We started, but I stopped it.
Speaker A
Not cuz of guilt. I just needed someone there, you know. Someone who cared. You had a slight wank though once you gone asleep. [laughter] Well, you got to you Veronica.
Speaker A
Veronica, open the door. [music] [laughter] Hey, party round with Martikas. Thought you might want to join me.
Speaker A
Oh, rocks. I'm walking. Grief does funny things to people. Tell them you're not feeling well.
Speaker A
She's thrown me out because of last night. That's okay. No, it's not okay. [ __ ] from it.
Speaker A
Everything has gone down the [ __ ] Not everything, Kev. You haven't lost everything.
Speaker A
Look, there's something I should have told you about us. What about you? What? It's not you that's infertile. Kev, at least you weren't with me.
Speaker A
MY EL [screaming] THANKS, DEBB. And no offense, but I need to speak to Fiona. You shouldn't live here anymore.
Speaker A
The new numbers on the pin board. Party bestie. How do I look? Honest opinion not required.
Speaker A
What's the occasion? Showing it off to some friends of mine. Special night for a special lady.
Speaker A
Don't wait up. Oh man. I'm fine. Thanks for asking. Jesus. a kid pimp. I thought I couldn't have him.
Speaker A
But why didn't you tell me? You know I was like back then. Suppose I saw it as revenge.
Speaker A
Had him adopted off for 2 months. Little boy. Ryan. Ryan. I wasn't fit, Kev. I could barely look after myself, let alone a baby.
Speaker A
But your mom was brilliant. She looked after all the paperwork and and made sure he went to a good home.
Speaker A
Mom knew. He'll be 10 this Easter. Any photos of him? Did he look like me?
Speaker A
Yeah. Bit around the eyes. like pissels in the snow. [snorts] He'll be a good-looking kid, just like his daddy.
Speaker A
This looks like the spot. There's not a house inside. We're in the middle of nowhere.
Speaker A
Who said anything about houses? Exclusive partying friends of yours dressed to impress. Who needs bedrooms when you've got the great outdoors? That's Marian and Phil.
Speaker A
Nice couple. He's a landscape gardener. They're not seriously suggesting. Let go of the fear.
Speaker A
Live pornography inches away from you. There's there's no touching and uh no photography. But if you want to whack yourself off while you're watching, no one's going to protest.
Speaker A
Take me home. What? Why? The penis salad was one thing, but this. Where are you going?
Speaker A
Home. Carol. Carol. They'll think we're time wasters. [music] I work here. Who the [ __ ] are you?
Speaker A
Mate of mine, Tim. Jim, how else am I supposed to get in here? If I take anybody upstairs, Jesse's listening AT THE [ __ ] DOOR.
Speaker A
IS THAT YOU, LOVE? JESUS. GET DOWN THERE. Is he bothering you? No. I came down for a drink and um Kev thought I was an intruder. Well, she's not. She lives here and I'd like to see her back where
Speaker A
she belongs with me. I know your mom's died, Kev. But you can only use that excuse for so long.
Speaker A
Looks like it's just me and you, mate. And to your point, you accommodate it. You know, the idea that you're shooting blanks. It becomes a part of who you are. And then suddenly, wallop everything's turned upside down and you don't know how to
Speaker A
feel, but it's like a million different feelings all at once. Suddenly everything's under the microscope. You know, my whole future. Who do I love?
Speaker A
You know, what do I want? I need to have a family of my own.
Speaker A
You know, I'm one of them bloss. It's like this [ __ ] great big hole that has to be filled. You with me?
Speaker A
Absolutely, mate. Absolutely. The other thing, Tim. Jim, sorry about you, but [snorts] You look like death. You could have at least brushed your hair.
Speaker A
Do you even care? Do you give the smallest [ __ ] what happens to me?
Speaker A
Of course I care. But life goes on, Veronica. I've split up with Nor. You don't see me moping around.
Speaker A
We've been together 10 years. IT WAS ME [ __ ] LIFE. WHAT'D YOU EXPECT, YOU STUPID OLD [ __ ] NOW STOP THAT. Take that back. That's no way to speak to your mother.
Speaker A
Start behaving like one and I'll start speaking to you like one. And what's that supposed to mean?
Speaker A
You're my mom. Make it better. Make it all all right again. [laughter] You know what?
Speaker A
What do you expect me to do about it? Carol, [ __ ] off. [laughter] Is all I had in the world.
Speaker A
[laughter] I only came in for B roll. Had a good time. Loved it. She's amazing. Even the crying didn't bother me.
Speaker A
You want to try it every night? Let me then. Let me have a more often weekends.
Speaker A
I want to. I don't. You wouldn't. And you can't. Apart from anything, [crying] my mom wouldn't allow it.
Speaker A
[ __ ] [crying] you doing. Bad baby. [crying] Just wanted to see how it feels.
Speaker A
Off your edging. You [ __ ] [ __ ] Oh, nice to see you, too, Ivonne.
Speaker A
Veronica has told me everything. You deserve your bullets chopping up. Did it, sugar? No, but you spent the night there, didn't you? Talking and cuddling. That's worse.
Speaker A
Which universe? Kev, you're going to lose the best thing that's ever happened to you. And you stood here like piffy.
Speaker A
Giving her some cooling space. How does a few hundred miles grab you? You what?
Speaker A
She's leaving tomorrow. Fiona's invited her to Amsterdam. If you've got anything, she'll put your finger out your ass and get round there.
Speaker A
We'll cover for an hour. The very man [music] I thought we could spend the day together.
Speaker A
No, Roxy. We can't. Oh, stop trying to fight you. Kev, I know for a fact you can't resist me.
Speaker A
Get it into your thick skull. The other night meant nothing. Our marriage means nothing.
Speaker A
And what about your child, Kev? Does that mean nothing right now? Yes. Double vodka. No ice.
Speaker A
She's round ours. She won't come back until you've gone away. [music] I would hate me.
Speaker A
No one hates you. We just wish it wasn't happening. It's sad. You Kevin, Veronica, like bangers and mash, fish and chips, vodka and tonic.
Speaker A
Important lesson in life. Deon Sooner or later, men always [ __ ] it up.
Speaker A
I know. Yeah. If I were you, I'd become a lesbian. [snorts] Bear that in [music] mind.
Speaker A
Your [ __ ] wife did this. MY [ __ ] SERVER. A [ __ ] P.
Speaker A
I'VE SAID EVERYTHING I told you, Karen. I'm not social work. Be careful. If people order drinks, I assume they can handle him.
Speaker A
He's an alcoholic. Know that now. Nearly polish off the old bottle. Then she starts calling me all kinds of slack and accused me of being in love with you.
Speaker A
You what? That was when Jess stepped in. [snorts] It was horrible. It's really horrible.
Speaker A
Oh, it's all my fault. No, it's mine. I should have told you. Told me what?
Speaker A
The letters. The one she wrote to your man while she was in prison. I've been reading through him. She's obsessed with you. Like delusional. And it seems that your man played along with her fantasy.
Speaker A
Oh, what fantasy? You and Rox back together. House kids happy ever after. What is it saying? Does it mention us having a nipper? Who?
Speaker A
Me and Roxy. Years ago, she gave her up for adoption. Not that I've wrecked.
Speaker A
Well, how far through are you, Karen? I've got a life, you know, and they are not exactly Bridget Jones.
Speaker A
Oh, I don't think Jezel want you staying here tonight. I'm a sexual being, Carol. Always have been. And asking me to change that, it's like asking the daisies not to flower in the springtime.
Speaker A
But I'm also a man who listens to his heart. And this beating old drummer mine is telling me I'd be foolish to let you go.
Speaker A
I love you, Kettlefisher. And if that means compromise, then compromise. It is. You, Norman Owens, are the most wonderful man I've met in years. Oh, I'd just like to say as long as it's within the confines of these walls, I'm very
Speaker A
openminded. Oh, wish I were going with you. Give this to our Fiona. As long as it's not something I have to explain at customs.
Speaker A
We've all written letters. There's some recent photos in there and stuff. Yeah. Tell her women so.
Speaker A
Hey, you. It's not forever. Just for a couple of months till I get me head started.
Speaker A
[screaming] What the Get in. Oh, what's the matter? Look at me. I'm too ashamed.
Speaker A
Harold, what's he done to you? I'm a disgusting human being. I only wanted to please him, Veronica.
Speaker A
He said he was an erotic massage, if I had any idea. What the bleeding hell has he done, Carol? What is it?
Speaker A
He went to the bathroom on me. [laughter] You're right. I am a terrible mother. Oh, it's all right. Just go and get in shower. Come on.
Speaker A
Pack it in your knob heads. [laughter] [music] [snorts] [ __ ] [ __ ] YOU [ __ ] [laughter] STOLE HIM.
Speaker A
[ __ ] [ __ ] GET THE [ __ ] OUT. [ __ ] [laughter] [ __ ] Is it yours? Must be Veronica.
Speaker A
I love you. [laughter] I'LL KILL THE [ __ ] stand with a You have to go for me first cuz I'd rather die than lose her.
Speaker A
You don't mean that. Try me. Won't kill the father. Your child with your Roxy.
Speaker A
You made it up, didn't you? How could you lie about something like that? You crazy [ __ ] [ __ ] Nobody attacks my daughter.
Speaker A
I'll call the police. [ __ ] Settle down. Settle down. Calm down. Stop. Do yourself no favors. Calm down. [ __ ] the gas. [music] You ready?
Speaker A
I made a mistake. I just lost my mom. I was confused. We didn't have sex. I couldn't.
Speaker A
It's not the point, is it? You wanted to. No, it meant nothing. None of it.
Speaker A
But the last few days has made me realize what we've got. me and you.
Speaker A
It's like gold dust. And to lose that, I might as well go up to my mom's flat and shut myself off cuz I swear V, I'd be nothing without you.
Speaker A
Get to the airport. Then leaves at 2. Mart's giving us a Don't do THIS FOR I HAVE GOT NO CHOICE.
Speaker A
Everything we had was based on trust and you have ruined that. We will never go back to the way it was before.
Speaker A
Well, I swear it look it won't happen overnight, but but it won't. But give it time. Veronica, we can make this work.
Speaker A
I'll get a divorce. We'll we'll get married, me and you. We'll do it proper this time. Then we can start a family and have a kitty and that IVF adoption, whatever it takes.
Speaker A
I can make you happy. Just give me a chance. Please give me one more chance.
Speaker A
Right. I'm set. Bye then. Shame we never had that nipper. I'd love to have seen its face.
Speaker A
The only kid I ever wants with you. I the [ __ ] [laughter and gasps] [gasps] Ready?
Speaker A
[music] One, two, three. [music] You know what they say, if you want to give God a laugh, sell him plans.
Speaker A
[music] My philosophy is never get too comfy because it doesn't [music] matter who you are. If the whirlwind comes your way, it's going to tear your world apart. And the only thing you can do is cling [music] on tight.
Speaker A
A fit boy called cow was obsessed with how to get girls undressed. A fit l a fit man.
Speaker A
A sex god called car once said, "I want to get girls into bed, but I'm rubbish at pulling and dulling, so I'll have to grow.
Speaker A
Help. Someone left this for you. Compass. What's it for? Gardening. I'm old enough. Got some money. No food in that." Carl, that's brilliant.
Speaker A
Don't stay out to leave us with her, will you? Cuz I'm a bit. Yeah, you wish. Want me to ask her to pop your ch?
Speaker A
[ __ ] off. See you in a bit. So, our car's got a job. A proper job.
Speaker A
Good for you, Carl. I'm hungry [laughter] about you. Oh, come on, Ch. Put a bag over it. You frighten the fizz off me. Point in that face.
Speaker A
Yeah. Well, she'd smile at you sweetly if you paid your [ __ ] tab. You [ __ ] free loader.
Speaker A
Oh, I'll go somewhere that doesn't cost. Hey, look at you go. Never knew you cared.
Speaker A
Oh, can I watch maybe? Oh, the tiger. Oh, come on. Let us in. [laughter] All right, lit.
Speaker A
Lit. Jimmy. Jimmy. Lit. All right. All right. Right. You must be the babies. Yeah. Where is Kata?
Speaker A
Under the table with me, Mom. I'll drop around tomorrow if you like. Yeah, great. Hey, can I get you a drink?
Speaker A
Quick off. Thanks. Seems nice. Yeah, he is. Wanted him for ages actually, but Shane didn't like him.
Speaker A
Anyway, [ __ ] him. Too old now to care what me brothers think. There you go, mate. Cheers. So, what are you up to tonight? Your fault?
Speaker A
Yeah, I've got a date. H yeah, this is her actually just come in. All right.
Speaker A
Yeah. Am I late? I'm not late, am I? No. I couldn't decide what shoes to wear. I put on me following me on my Fox and then I thought, well, what if we go dancing? Don't want to look like a [ __ ]
Speaker A
Do you think these look ming though? No. Oh, let's just get a drink. Right.
Speaker A
Come on then, Karen. How about it? Me and you. What do you say for the fight lads?
Speaker A
Yes. Oh no. Jeez. [ __ ] it. Let's just get out of here. Bloody hell.
Speaker A
Shower if you want. No, you're all right. I'll um I'll get off. You've got an early start, haven't you?
Speaker A
What is it you do? Security, right? So, shall I mean, I'll call you, right? Yeah.
Speaker A
A don't you like me? Well, not if you do that. Thought you'd have been up and off first thing. You last block I was with didn't even stop for her. Didn't have to do anything.
Speaker A
I'm just not really. Look, I've got some work I've got to do. What did Mr. Ramsey show up next? Let's see if your sister knows, shall we?
Speaker A
We'll be lucky. It's like the Marie Sod and Celeste in here. Suppose those two are otherwise engaged having it off with each other.
Speaker A
It was a lucky couple then. Your Karen and that Jez don't know how they can live with themselves. They could at least keep it behind closed doors, eating the face off each other in front of everybody last night. And not holy,
Speaker A
is it? A Karen isn't Jess. I didn't want to have to be the one to tell you, but well, they do say it's down to the upbringing.
Speaker A
Our Karen is a lesbian. [laughter] [gasps] [crying] Look at the kids. Karen, love, are you in there?
Speaker A
Karen. [sighs] I'm so thrilled. I just thought you didn't do it. I wish you could have told me.
Speaker A
Told you what? You're a lesbian. No, I'm not. [gasps] I just said it to get the job, didn't I?
Speaker A
You're off your head. Karen. Car love, you don't have to pretend. Being a lesbian is a wonderful thing.
Speaker A
Yeah. Come in there. Hey. No, actually leave her, will you? Paying all night. Never got any sleep.
Speaker A
How was your date, then? Yeah, great, actually. So was mine. Really good. Fantastic. Great. Actually seemed a bit thick to me.
Speaker A
So did yours. Jimmy's got his own business. You better marry him then. What's the matter? You jealous? Come on.
Speaker A
You are No, of course not. [ __ ] off, Manda. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Why would that be then?
Speaker A
Yeah. You're the one who can't stay away from me. That's why you keep coming around then, is it? Need to get your fix.
Speaker A
lip dear. Look, you know what you said the other day about mom, dad, and baby?
Speaker A
Yeah. [ __ ] with that. Katie. Katie, is she all right? She's fine, Lip. She's fine.
Speaker A
The [ __ ] ARE YOU DOING, CARL? YOU COULD HAVE KILLED HER. WHAT'S ALL THIS [ __ ] IT'S NO BIG DEAL, LIP. It's just a few plants.
Speaker A
Are you joking? You knew about this? You're growing weed for the Magguiers. Lip. So what if he is? You got a problem with that, have you?
Speaker A
Damn right I HAVE. IT'S DRUGS. HOW COME NOBODY TOLD ME ABOUT THIS? IT'S FINE NOW.
Speaker A
BECAUSE IT'S NONE OF YOUR BLOODY BUSINESS. LIP. I'm old enough. I know what I'm doing.
Speaker A
What are you doing? [ __ ] sake, Lip. Oh, I see. It all makes sense now.
Speaker A
That's why you'd be coming around, is it? It's nothing to do with me and Katie. You're just doing your family's dirty work and using the whole [ __ ] lot of us.
Speaker A
Oh, listen to him. Mr. Moral [ __ ] eye ground. the bloke who said when I fell pregnant. Well, you can't want it.
Speaker A
Well, I'm either going to come around here to see you, am I? Listen. No, you listen. And you know what, Lip?
Speaker A
This is not to do with Carl. Cuz the truth is you are jealous cuz you're such a freak that you don't want me. But you don't want anyone else to have me either.
Speaker A
[music] Come here. I'm all right. You can't tell me what to do anyway. It's not me, Dad. Should be grateful it was us who found out and not the bleeding coppers.
Speaker A
It's only class C, Ian. They've decriminalized it. I think it shows initiative. Drug squad all over the estate. If he gets caught with it, it's intent to deal with the young offenders program and social services crawling all over us.
Speaker A
You jack it in now, CAL. TELL MAGUIRES TO FIND SOME OTHER MUG. I'M NOT A MUG.
Speaker A
IAN, I'M NOT. You act like I'm a little kid. All you It's like you think I'm stupid or something.
Speaker A
No, we don't. Yeah, you do. You especially. This is something I was good at. I was good at it.
Speaker A
Well done, Ian. [ __ ] off, Mandy. What you said before, I never meant I didn't want Katie in.
Speaker A
I thought me and you were trying to sort things out back there. The [ __ ] all this? You're dealing drugs from a pram.
Speaker A
She's not smoking it. Wouldn't hate her if she was. Shane used to do my gear. There's nothing wrong with him.
Speaker A
So why aren't I doing drug run then? Cuz you're too [ __ ] stupid.
Speaker A
Look, you should never have this. There's six lads in his family and it's her who's running business.
Speaker A
Well, WHEN HE GETS DOWN, YOU CAN TELL HIM, can't you about how you can't do it cuz you can't count.
Speaker A
Mandy. Hey, back off. Look, I'm not letting you get Katie involved in this. I won't stand around and watch you screw up with her.
Speaker A
Well, that's easy to solve then, is it? Lip, don't see her at all. You're bad.
Speaker A
Mandy. Mandy. You heard what she said. Gallagher. It's not so talaga and a chaser and an E.
Speaker A
Having a good day then, Albert. [sighs] [music] Woo! [music] Woo! [screaming] Sir, Mandian, whatever you want. You can deal with me.
Speaker A
She said I want to deal with her. Do I look like the [ __ ] monkey?
Speaker A
Got some gear for her. I need to weigh it. Clock. You all right, Chloe?
Speaker A
Yes. Is Mandy in? No, but I am. O [ __ ] face. I want double that amount next time. So get [ __ ] busy.
Speaker A
[laughter] Bring yourself in, ladies. Andy, do you want chocolate? I always eat chocolate when I'm upset cuz it does the same to your brain as a hug does.
Speaker A
I'm not set, Debbie. Just keep out of it, will you? Look. I know you want to think of me and your brother as some big romantic thing, but we're not. All right. Got pregnant, that's all. It's just biology.
Speaker A
Actually, no, it's not biology. It's [ __ ] history. It's calling it. Yeah. So, what you buying then?
Speaker A
Nothing. Do you grow weed for Mandy? Is it hard? How do you do it?
Speaker A
I can show you if you like. You're not going to get ice sniffing that glows down here.
Speaker A
Just a couple of minutes away. That your brother? Yeah. Through here. I had to move him cuz he don't like the growing them.
Speaker A
Wow, that's amazing. Could look at them all. Careful with her. She's about to flower.
Speaker A
She Kirsten, it's only the female ones that flower. It's the bit you need. Can I call one Chloe?
Speaker A
If you like this one then. Do you want to smoke some? Yeah. Frank. Frank.
Speaker A
What? Oh, don't tell me. Space aliens from the planet or could have turned Nigel into an olive.
Speaker A
Oh, Karen's a lesbian. Why would she not talk me, Frank? Well, Sheila Love, I know you're not a natural blonde. I know you're not as stupid as you look, but your Karen is not into KD Lang.
Speaker A
She is, Frank. I'm telling [gasps] you, I've just found out. And that's just the kind of attitude that stopped her being honest about it in the first place cuz she was [laughter] worried we might judge her.
Speaker A
I want you to say it now, Frank, out loud and proud. What a Karen is.
Speaker A
Go on, say it. Give voice to it. Say it. Say it. Karen sucks. Gash. [gasps and snorts] there. See, it wasn't that difficult, was it?
Speaker A
But if she can't be honest with me in the first place, her own mother, then I failed her.
Speaker A
Failed her. Oh, I'm so sorry. I'm sorry. And then and then I don't know if I can't even [laughter] help.
Speaker A
No [laughter] for little fish. Can I come again? Yeah. No. [laughter] Bye. Oh, whoa.
Speaker A
So, what you're saying is you want me to come to dinner? That's right. If this is you thinking you can wipe Frank's tab, she No, no, no, not at all. I'm sorry. Um, I'll pay you no if you like. I just
Speaker A
thought, you know, as a surprise for Karen, a few of her close friends, you know. Um, You do like her, don't you?
Speaker A
Yeah. Oh good. I just I just wasn't sure how, you know. So, you come then.
Speaker A
Yeah. All right, Sheila, if you like. [laughter] That's lovely. All right, I'll see you later. [gasps] [laughter] See you later.
Speaker A
All right. Quick as you can inside [music] squad. Well, lucky here. Right little factory.
Speaker A
Better jack this time. Weapons. [laughter] You're not say nothing cal. What are you doing?
Speaker A
I've seen this lot for hours. They're for own consumption. Oh yeah. No, me dad.
Speaker A
I believe you in He's got um me MS. Look, no one's willing this much.
Speaker A
Have you seen the state of him? You've not Have you [laughter] get up? What are you doing?
Speaker A
Come on you. You shut up you little dog. Watch your head. Get off me. You muppet.
Speaker A
Russell, shut up. It's my little brother. I'll make him stop doing it, but please.
Speaker A
All right. I'm not going to charge him. He'll make a statement and he'll be out in an hour. Okay.
Speaker A
How do you know we were doing it? Infrared photos. Picks up the heat from the lamps. So if your roof's not insulated, we'll sell them on afterwards. Gas board might get a sales call.
Speaker A
Russell, thanks. I should be back by now. Can I go down there and check if he's okay?
Speaker A
They said they weren't charging him. Well, ain't he the lucky one? It's weird they gave you the photo, though. They're normally bastards. It's his own stupid fault. I told him not to mess with the Magguiers.
Speaker A
Yeah. And he should have listened to you. Where is he? Cuz I've had some bad news. My pet pig says someone's made an anonymous statement against us. You're what? Me tame copper. Me little bent squealer.
Speaker A
Yeah. Well, it ain't Carl, is it? No, cuz I'm finding it a bit of a stretch that the drug squad found his crop but decided not to charge him.
Speaker A
They might have. He's still at the station. No, he ain't. They let him go without charging him. Our piggy told us.
Speaker A
So where is he? But Cal wouldn't do that. He was working for you. And hard as it is to believe, we are family now.
Speaker A
What are you looking at? Well, I don't rightly know, but it's bloody ugly, and it seemed to be looking back.
Speaker A
No, Mimi. What caval means? Why not? I'm intrude. Sorry. You lot better start saying your prayers cuz Carl's [ __ ] dead. Check the house.
Speaker A
Got [ __ ] hiding. You little [ __ ] Gig. Grass. [ __ ] dead. Got to go.
Speaker A
[ __ ] you. Hey, [ __ ] off. Dick up. [ __ ] run. Gagon McGuire's wrapped me up.
Speaker A
Wow. What you [ __ ] do you know? Where's Galag? I don't know my thing.
Speaker A
Let go. Now you take him. Where the [ __ ] is Kala? [music] I don't know. I don't know anything.
Speaker A
All right, Shane. [ __ ] WHERE IS THIS? [ __ ] IT. What are you doing?
Speaker A
WHERE IS HE? LITTLE [ __ ] Oh [ __ ] We seen Carl. Do I look like a probation officer?
Speaker A
Mandy, have you seen him? Well, fair. I won't be telling you, would I? Hey, you all right, mate? Oh, come on.
Speaker A
You know what they'll do to him if they find him? Shouldn't have grasses up then, should he?
Speaker A
He didn't. You got him into this. He's only a [ __ ] kid. Which means he won't get custodial.
Speaker A
Whereas my mom Jesus, Mandy, lip, when did all this turn into a war? Hey, I thought me and you could have had something. What are you doing with this guy? What went wrong between us?
Speaker A
Look, Lip, I didn't make Carl do it. He chose to because he wanted to help you lot out with money.
Speaker A
Well, he's not in the [ __ ] carton, is he? Buy some or [ __ ] off.
Speaker A
Come on then, Karen. Get stuck in. Oh, I love a good oyster, mate. It's best if you eat them alive. Just stun them with something sharp and pop them straight in. [crying] [panting] [screaming] Come on, Karen. enough. What's your
Speaker A
idea? I'm not so keen, thanks mom. So, Jess, where you from originally? Was your mother a lesbian?
Speaker A
Uh, not so far as I know, Sheila. We never really do, do you? Karen used to be interested in BS, but um when Frank moved in, she lost all interest. I was so worried. I thought I'd damaged her or something.
Speaker A
And then I realized I didn't have to be guilty anymore. I hadn't messed her up.
Speaker A
She was just gay all along. [laughter] [crying] So what do you do then, Judge? When you want a bit of, you know, real sex, you like strap a thing on.
Speaker A
What we do is real sex. It's only bloss. Oh, no. I am too. I love them.
Speaker A
I love them. Well, [snorts] why don't you girls all do a floor show then? You know, get your Bbles out. Have Christmas early this year, shall we?
Speaker A
For Christ's sake, Frank. Just a thought. It would be nice though. Have you seen that?
Speaker A
[gasps] I'm telling you, I never said. All they wanted was a statement that it was for use.
Speaker A
I believe in Debbie. Yeah, so do I. Even though he's a [ __ ] Yeah, well the Maguiars don't believe him. And if they catch him, they're going to kill him.
Speaker A
He'll have to wide appear to we found out who it was. Get it sorted.
Speaker A
You're joking. I'm Frank did it. And those children in that book, Flowers in the Attic. Except they all got really deformed cuz he had no sunlight. And then the sister got pregnant by the brother and they had this funny little baby and became ballet
Speaker A
dancer. Where's your phone call? Right, your phone is if you need anything. We'll tell them otherwise you've run away.
Speaker A
And you can start dismantling this lot while you're up here. Don't write a diary, though, will you?
Speaker A
Hello. Um, Sheila, I'm I'm not really sure what's going on here. I mean, the vibes I'm getting off Cameron. Well, she likes you. She's just shy.
Speaker A
Do you really think so? Well, she kissed you, didn't she? Oh, hello. Look. Um, why don't you both stay here tonight? You can have Frank in my bed. We'll sleep downstairs.
Speaker A
What do you reckon? I only got the kids. Just give us five minutes. Yeah.
Speaker A
What do you want? I never got a chance to thank you if not cautioning cow today.
Speaker A
Never said you were a cop. You never said your family were scumbags. You're right. Russ, what do you want?
Speaker A
The Maguire still think it were Carlo who grasped and I know it wasn't. So I need to know who to get him out of [ __ ] Look, I reckon they get on.
Speaker A
I'll let him off so you won't blow the gaff on me. Now we're equal. So [ __ ] off and don't come back.
Speaker A
Who's that? Just another chat with [ __ ] Right, girls? Bed, video camera, sex toys. Give us a shout if you need me.
Speaker A
your dreams. Bed and board, Karen. Bed and board. Here we are then. So, what do you reckon? Undress you slowly, shall I? Get my nifty tongue out. Jess, there's something I need to tell you.
Speaker A
What's the matter? You got the decorators in, have you? Oh, it's all right. I'm straight.
Speaker A
I'm really sorry. You're lovely and that, but I only said I was gay to get the job in the jockey.
Speaker A
No, I've seen the way you look at me. We've touched. I know you liked it.
Speaker A
I got off with a bloke two nights ago. You must at least have tendencies. Maybe you just haven't met the right woman yet. Maybe you're just trying to be straight because you think it's trendy.
Speaker A
Maybe it's just a phase you're going through. I'm sorry. Never would have worked anyway.
Speaker A
Age gap. You being a Gemini. Lucky escape. Probably no hard feelings then. B then might as well [ __ ] off. Might just catch the end of bad girls if I'm lucky.
Speaker A
Hello. Think you're a 14year-old boy. Where you going to act? Don't even know it were Carl.
Speaker A
Yeah. Who else you got in mind? Your boyfriend. It's not me boyfriend. Anyway, Jimmy [ __ ] hates copper.
Speaker A
Oh yeah. How about your other boyfriend, Lip Gallagher? Seems to me like Lip got called to grass cuz you stopped him seeing Katy. Is he after custody?
Speaker A
Don't be stupid, Mom. He wouldn't do that. Doesn't sound stupid to me. He wouldn't do it. I know he wouldn't.
Speaker A
Oh, yeah. And why are you so sure? Because he cares about me. He cares about me.
Speaker A
Pass me the [ __ ] sick bookie. He does. He's a better man than any of you two. He's a better man than anyone around here. [ __ ] sick.
Speaker A
Didn't you say Carl Gallagher's hanging out with some girl? [music] [bell] [music] Heat. Heat.
Speaker A
I'm too cold. Too cold. Too cold. I'm too old. Too cold. Too cold. And it shows. And it shows and it shows. And you know, [music] you know, you know, it's Chlo, you've got to get out of there. It's coming to get you.
Speaker A
Where is he? Let me have a LITTLE [ __ ] GOB [ __ ] WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING? [screaming] WHAT THE [ __ ] WHERE IS HE? [ __ ] TELL ME NOW.
Speaker A
[ __ ] WAY. TELL ME WHERE HE IS. GET DOWN THE [ __ ] STAD.
Speaker A
[music and singing] [screaming] GET UP THE [ __ ] STAIRS, [ __ ] GET OUT.
Speaker A
[ __ ] OFF. [ __ ] SAKE. M. WHAT ARE YOU DOING? TELL ME WHERE HE IS.
Speaker A
HOLD ON. HE AIN'T [ __ ] NOTHING. OH NO. I HATE TO BREAK off the okie cocoa, BUT YOUR MANDY'S just been arrested.
Speaker A
What? [ __ ] hell. [ __ ] hell. K, what are you playing at?
Speaker A
She ded me in. Told them I was in the loft. Pass the bog roll then.
Speaker A
Can I finish me dump? Where the [ __ ] is my Mandy? You better tell me what you're charging her with AND ON WHAT [ __ ] EVIDENCE.
Speaker A
[ __ ] UP, MIMI. WHAT THE [ __ ] YOU DOING? I'm asking WHERE THE [ __ ] [screaming] MY DAUGHTER IS.
Speaker A
BACK UP. [ __ ] SAKE. MIMI, back up. Look, just let me see a woman.
Speaker A
I'm the baby's dad. I've got to take her home anyway. I'm brother. [screaming] She's going to go around shopping, you mate. You're better off without her.
Speaker A
[snorts] I love her though. No, you don't. You just feel like you do. I thought she were interested. I thought she liked me.
Speaker A
You can't always tell, mate. So, how can you I mean, tell if a girl will let you shag her. I mean, how how do you get him to do it?
Speaker A
I don't know. I don't think I've ever done it. I know. I mean, obviously I've done it. I've done it. just never made the move. You know, the bird always does it. It's [ __ ] hell.
Speaker A
So, is that how it works then? Look, if she wants you, there's just no getting out of it cuz women always get what they want. I mean, take V tonight.
Speaker A
I took her down the rugby club for a stripper and what she's after is wedge in it. So, if some bloke wants to grow a tit for the tennis, she's going to go for it, ain't she?
Speaker A
Oh, bloody hell. Look, Cal, the bottom line is you'll just know. Yeah. When the time's right, it'll just kick in. And if it don't, then she'll tell you, won't you?
Speaker A
Where's Katie? She's with the police woman. I want to take her home in A MINUTE.
Speaker A
SMALL [ __ ] HAPPY, ARE YOU? ME AND HIM, YOU IN CUSTODY, KATIE? NO, MANDY. OF COURSE NOT. I'M HERE FOR YOU TO HELP YOU. I could have taken Katie and gone, but I didn't. I'm here for you.
Speaker A
Was it Cal? No. They're talking a time limp. THEY'VE GOT A SEAM AND I WAS STEALING AND I'M OLD ENOUGH TO GO INSIDE AND THAT'S THE WHACKER OUT THERE.
Speaker A
STOP IT. IT'S NOT GOING TO HELP, IS IT? HEY, PUT ME AT LEAST. I WANT A MIC. THAT'S ALL I WANT. JUST GET ME OUT SO I CAN BE WITH KATIE.
Speaker A
Get me out. I just want to be with Katie. Can't you get your copper to do something? You must be joking. You threatened to arrest me if I asked another favor. She must be crap in bed.
Speaker A
Yeah, but we need to work out who made the statement. There's not that many people it could be.
Speaker A
What I don't understand is why make it about Mandy? I mean, all the Maguiars do it. And who would send Mandy down instead of that horrible Mimi?
Speaker A
What? Unless it's personal. They pushed him out of the business. All right, Shane. Do you want Gallalagha?
Speaker A
I know it was you who grased up your mande. You what? We can talk about it here or I can go and tell your family.
Speaker A
A [ __ ] [ __ ] The [ __ ] does she think she is?
Speaker A
So what he's telling me for a not then? You know why? Cuz you'd have your balls for breakfast. And as much as that would entertain me, I want Katie to know there's another way of doing things. The Gallagher way.
Speaker A
So here's the deal. You retract your statement. You tell your mom it wasn't Carl. And you stay away from Manda.
Speaker A
or I promise you I will tell him. Oh, you used to be a plastery, didn't you?
Speaker A
H I've got a sailing once doing. I won't be paying. [crying] All right. Look, I'm sorry about telling the Magguiers.
Speaker A
Pa, you did that? 20 quid. You don't look hurt. I thought they wanted to thump you.
Speaker A
I can handle myself. Look. I thought that if I rang you straight after that I could have the money and you'd be all right.
Speaker A
I can give you half of it. I don't want it. Is there anything you do want?
Speaker A
Do you want some? Come clean. [music] [ __ ] off. more sort of Tweety P.
Speaker A
I could be Sylvester to your tweety point after watching. Oh, come on. She along.
Speaker A
Hey, you never know. Adelia might turn out to be a Leo. Do you really think so?
Speaker A
Well, I've never seen a sucker thumb. Oh, [gasps] so you're really not going to tell me who it was then?
Speaker A
I think the word you're looking for is thank you. That's two words in it.
Speaker A
Well, go on. Tell me then. Why'd you go to such heroic lengths to get me out?
Speaker A
I told you, didn't I? What? Because you can't live without me. You're a [ __ ] nightmare you are.
Speaker A
I'm scared to say anything in case you take my head off. Oh, sensitive flower.
Speaker A
I was only joking. What's the deal with Jimmy then? What do you mean? I mean, you know, are you You are jealous, aren't you?
Speaker A
I've got feelings for you, Manda. I won't be settled for lips, so don't say it if it's just about K.
Speaker A
You know it's not. We've done this all in the wrong order. Kid first, then work out we fancy each other.
Speaker A
Yes or no, Mandy. Last time I'm asking, me and you. Do you want to give this a go or not?
Speaker A
Such a [ __ ] pain in the ass. Suppose that means I've got to go and dump Jimmy now then, does it?
Speaker A
[snorts] He's got a roach. Yeah. Bye then. All right, Carl. Gone through any holes recently? [laughter] [ __ ] off. Did you have to get a stone first?
Speaker A
No. We're ideal. Look off. [laughter] Passes that and budge up. No more wankers cramp. [laughter] Can't believe that. A fit lad called Khan had a dream of how we could get girls to scream. He'd strip him [music] off nude and smear him with food and
Speaker A
watch the boobs bounce on a trampoline. My teacher said that that's not a proper poem, so she failed me mock English exam.
Speaker A
Do I look like I care? [laughter] In social studies, we learned that when families first started, it was because we were primitive hunter gatherers who needed the family unit to protect the weaker younger members. That way, they could survive and become the next lot of
Speaker A
hunter gatherers. State of her car, get a next door now. Now, sorry, Carol, but I did make it clear it was guest list only. cuz there was something I concentrate himself.
Speaker A
What are you on about? He's got to get up. I told Debbie straight off. No spirits, no class A.
Speaker A
[ __ ] me. Looks like a party. But they reckon that since the industrial revolution, the modern family has developed into a different unit. Now its main role is the emotional and moral welfare of the young. What's that about?
Speaker A
I mean, as long as there isn't a woolly mammoth biting my ass, I can look after myself very much.
Speaker A
Fancy a bit of chill out space? Love, you're welcome to come next door. Ouch.
Speaker A
Much quieter. Lip, you promised. You know that with Nicola? Yeah. What in Debbie's class?
Speaker A
Yeah. Christ on Earth though. I suppose I suppose it would really more acceleration. I mean, how far can you how far have you gone?
Speaker A
What do you think? Fantastic. [laughter] I wasn't sure about the material. It's always a bit iffy from the catalog.
Speaker A
Just can't tell looking at it. Gorgeous. [ __ ] your brains out. Yeah, but don't think the straps are a bit funny. You see what I mean?
Speaker A
All right. Which color do you like? That one. Really? I als think cream washes me out.
Speaker A
Oh, I got a top and all. See? I don't give a [ __ ] Just come here, will you?
Speaker A
You have human rights. Are we don't think so? Everybody out. That's it. You try to turn the place into a shag pit.
Speaker A
It's nothing to do with me. We must have had a power cut. Nice try, Debs.
Speaker A
It's not even midnight. Come on, keep moving. Come on. Where's Liam? Uh, party. It's stay night at Kevin Veronica's. Duh.
Speaker A
No, I mean, aren't you taking him to school? You can do it. One night, I asked for some consideration. I asked for the place to myself. No interference. But you treat me like a little kid, right?
Speaker A
Well, if I'm a little kid, I'll start acting like one. And little kids can't look after the little brothers.
Speaker A
Like he's gone. You Dave. De [music] Kettle's bust. I've got a mouth like a goat's lavatory.
Speaker A
Carol, give me a heart attack. Selei went off last night. None in the Gallaghers either for you. Just junk mail by the look of it.
Speaker A
They've come. [ __ ] hell. Tonight, Matthew, I'm Myra Henley. [ __ ] off. Hey, at least I don't look like K [ __ ] dog.
Speaker A
[snorts] Hey, cy. Sex on the beach. My eye club. Dirty [ __ ] Is it really a mile up?
Speaker A
You mean look in the sky? Is it Is it a mile up? Like I don't know, do I mean must be that's what they call it.
Speaker A
Oh no, no, Veronica. Veronica. Not with Liam here. I feel a bit weird. He's fast asleep. I've just checked him on my way. Come on.
Speaker A
No, no, no, no. Look, look. I need a anyway. Have you not got any butter? I got to let me find that diet spread stuff. Oh, for [ __ ] sake.
Speaker A
Hi babe. Hia. Ah, another dead soldier. Uh, no more until he's paid. Your tab's frozen, Frank. You're on. Pay as you go.
Speaker A
Oh, your tab's frozen, Frank. No more team. Thank you, Nap [ __ ] West.
Speaker A
No, sorry. Got holiday coming up. Need all me spare change for spending money. Oh, thatcher's children, Kevin. Always wanting more. Surrounding ourselves with things. Yeah, well, me and V haven't been away in nearly 6 years. So, instant gratification. Sheila's the same. It's
Speaker A
for the wedding. Frank, no one on a tight budget. Frank Tener will last me a [ __ ] week.
Speaker A
TOMMY. [screaming] OH, LOVELY. Smoke alarms. Council has to fit them a standard man. They pay a fortune for kite marks and all that.
Speaker A
Yeah, of course they do. It's [ __ ] taxpayers money, isn't it? They bear no responsibility. These people in one prank. So me and Phil, we pick up a load of Korean units for next to no, right? Then
Speaker A
we install them and we flog the pricey ones up in Chton. Nice little earner.
Speaker A
There we go. You're on vitamins. Another nice little ear. Drug trials. I get 200 quid for taking these for 3 weeks. You'll [ __ ] all as far as I can see. Mind you, I do have a permanent
Speaker A
boner. [laughter] Liam not back from craty yet [ __ ] My name's Judith and I'm an alcoholic.
Speaker A
[applause and music] Do you mind if you have a word? Don't tell me cuz I'm on strike. I rang the electricity company and they swear on their lives they've not made a mistake about the bill. They won't restore the supply until we've paid. We
Speaker A
sort it. Can we pay your electricity bill? We run off the same supply. Steve hooked it up when he and Fiona was living next door. It made it easy for him to take care of everything.
Speaker A
Did you know about this? No. Not right. Is it not right? It's criminal. Hang on. I gave you £50 to pay the electricity bill. Not two weeks ago.
Speaker A
What happened to it? You know what? I better forgot to post it. I'm always doing that stamp on that.
Speaker A
Then it stays in me bag for months. I'll sort it tomorrow. We'll sort it now.
Speaker A
How many bags have you got? Nicholas's got one like yours. I'd never use it.
Speaker A
Thanks, Sue. Ladies, [ __ ] Be getting dark soon. Buff night. Sue can't find the electric bill. I thought you told me you paid it.
Speaker A
I have, but I've just not posted it on. It won't be in there. When are you going to tell us what's going on?
Speaker A
What you trying to infer, Carol? I've got eyes in me head, unlike Marty. New outfit every 20 minutes.
Speaker A
Marty, will you TELL HER? [ __ ] [ __ ] WANK. AH. All right. I needed the money for the lucky cuz I got myself into a bit of debt. Okay. Is that what you wanted to hear? How much debt?
Speaker A
It's nothing. You know, I'm waiting on that money from Craig's dad's house. It'll clear it with thousands to spare.
Speaker A
I mean, why should I put my life on hold? How much? How much, love?
Speaker A
12 grand. [music] Some of them are really nasty. County court orders and that. You'll end up inside if you're not careful.
Speaker A
I'm really sorry, Marty. Hey, sort it together. Okay. Is this it though? Is this the lot? Cuz you got to be honest with me. Okay.
Speaker A
Tip wank. No more trying to hide it. Wave of life with her. Mom, just piss off out of it, will you?
Speaker A
Thank you. No problem. It's like you say this money that you owe from Craig. Well, there must be some way to form a bone.
Speaker A
Do you hate me? Of course I don't. Butt sucking [ __ ] I love you, Sue. Best thing that's ever happened to me. No contest.
Speaker A
Deb's on strike. Do me. Eddie. Liam. Shoes. No bread left. I haven't had time to shop, have I?
Speaker A
Me and Chris on our way to school. Where'd you so sleep? I don't know.
Speaker A
Coming. Hi. Uh, morning. I'm loving the bag, babe. Thanks. See you. Look, you're just going to have to wear a pair of mine. They're a bit big, but lip. It hurts.
Speaker A
Okay, fine. No frigin socks. Go bare feet. Yeah, don't ask her out. I ain't got any of my own clean, have I? I'm off out after school.
Speaker A
Oh, who's going to make tea for these two then? Supposed to be seeing Katie and Mandy tonight.
Speaker A
Can't c manage. What? [ __ ] This is it, you know. Once Debbie cops off for some horny little loser.
Speaker A
This is our lives, Ian. We'll be okay. We just need a routine and that.
Speaker A
Yeah. Well, no, you're right. We need a plan. Nip it in the bud. Scruff.
Speaker A
It's just a few questions about your lifestyle, Mr. Gallagher. Right. You are, look, nothing there frightening horses. Happy to oblige.
Speaker A
Right. Male or female? Oh, definitely a yes. I'll just right. Oh, diet. Do you eat five portions of fruit and vegetables a day?
Speaker A
Do I look like [ __ ] mugs bunny? Yes. How much alcohol do you consume weekly?
Speaker A
A. No alcohol. B 1 to 21 units. Weekly. Yeah weekly. C over 21 units. [music] I see you say you don't drink, Mr.
Speaker A
Gallagher. Yeah, when my mom was a Methodist law, I promised her on her deathbed.
Speaker A
In that case, we'll have to get your details on file. This particular trial involves taking the drug in conjunction with at least two units of alcohol.
Speaker A
Oh, all right. I'll do it. Well, my mom was a wonderful woman. you know, she was actually she was devoted to medical science. Absolutely devoted to it. She could have trained up if she'd have had the opportunities. Donated her body and,
Speaker A
you know, her eyes and and all that. And that was the other thing that she said to me on her deathbed. Son, promise me you'll do everything you can for medical science.
Speaker A
So, I'm here. It's Lady Book. You should be asking for money, not me. I see from the get-go she was trouble. feet under the table before you could say Jack Robinson.
Speaker A
Point is, Carol, Sue hasn't got the money. So, if you don't pay to get us reconnected, it's not going to happen.
Speaker A
Rob Brass at ours. Fine. State of affairs. This is We're supposed to be your tenants, not your parents.
Speaker A
Yeah. And we're charging you 30 quid a week less than you claiming in housing benefits.
Speaker A
I'm supposed to be putting a bit by for my old age. Nobody cares. Thanks. And if any of the lads ask you, you sort it yourself.
Speaker A
You know, you'll get blackheads from putting so much makeup on. Clogs your pores. [music] A foaming tanker of your finest ale, mining keeper.
Speaker A
Frank, you know what it is. Hey, hey, hey. Half now, half on completion of the trial.
Speaker A
No, but it's not just the money, J. You know, you feel like you're putting a bit back.
Speaker A
Well, I suppose it's you or them monkeys they grow the tumors on. How many of them tablets you have to take them, Frank?
Speaker A
Uh, three every 4 hours. Oh, four every 3 hours. So basically debt crunches in agreement with yourself [music] take what's known as a consolidation loan. Probably wondering what the heck that is. Well, I'll tell you. Basically, it's a way for
Speaker A
us to pay off all your debts. Then we organize it for yourselves to pay one basic monthly fee to us.
Speaker A
Sounds too good to be true. It is. People don't realize. your homeowners obviously. Jeez. Well, when Yes.
Speaker A
No worries. [snorts] No one's ever looked after me like you do. You know I love looking after you. You know I do do anything I can. Ball and chain.
Speaker A
But these loans and that though. Well, you hear about people paying him off for years.
Speaker A
Yeah, but it's not going to be years, is it? Once Craig comes good. I mean, that's what I'm saying. The day you sold that house, the sky's the limit to the future.
Speaker A
What in your eyes? Come on, your face. So, we're going to bed. M shattered.
Speaker A
You've got a visitor. You're looking well, Marty. [ __ ] are you doing here?
Speaker A
We've just been having a little chat, haven't we, Craig? You poisonous old [ __ ] She's stirring it again. What's she been saying?
Speaker A
I haven't been saying anything. It's what Craig's been telling me. Well, I don't want to hear it. Right.
Speaker A
You're upsetting Sue. She's had it, Marty. This is none of your business. He's my son and you're taking him for a ride.
Speaker A
I'm taking him for nothing. Tell him. She's had the money from me dad's house. 10 grand nearly 8 months ago. Same old story as it spun the lot.
Speaker A
Well, you said the lies never stop. Dearly sue for God. [ __ ] [ __ ] MARTY. [ __ ] YOU ALL RIGHT?
Speaker A
GET THE [ __ ] OFF ME. IT'S ALL TRUE, MARTY. I've seen the paperwork. Pull your trousers off. They need running UNDER A COLD TIE.
Speaker A
[ __ ] GET OFF ME, MOM. [applause] S two bullets. Popcorn maker. Who needs a popcorn maker? Ha. too bloody idle to walk to the shop. She spend god knows how much on a badminton racket. She's mentally ill.
Speaker A
Oh, that's Andy. Maybe she and Marty going to be playing doubles. Yeah, and if they were, you'd find some way of stopping him.
Speaker A
Hey, don't you make me out to be the villain on this, Veronica. She's the one who's selling Marty down the river.
Speaker A
Oh, how's she doing that, Mom? By making him happy. By stopping him setting fights or anything from longer than any of us can remember. By keeping him out of [ __ ] strange ways. I can't do right by doing bloody wrong. I might
Speaker A
have known not to expect any support from you. Yeah, well, you're right on that one. I think on you might does go back inside.
Speaker A
The gigas will be short on rent and looking for new tenants. And with any luck, Kevin, me, I'll be turning spur room into a nursery. So, don't come crying to us when you need somewhere to live.
Speaker A
Six is it? Yeah, this will be seven. Brewery needs telling. Not only fan but Denzi. He's match pint for pint.
Speaker A
But them pills you're taking. God, what kind of pills stop you getting pissed? What would be the [ __ ] point of that Jez in your medical opinion?
Speaker A
I don't know. Treating alcoholics. If you can't get pissed, there's no point drinking. How many years can you give this Kevin?
Speaker A
[screaming] Marie. Kev, LET ME GO. LET ME GO. FINE. LOOK, you know what, K? I promise you a [ __ ] EYE ON YOU.
Speaker A
GO, MATE. I'M JUST GOING TO FIND HER. PLEASE, please don't think I'm going to die. I JUST WANT [snorts] TO [ __ ] TOUCH THE PLACE.
Speaker A
ALL RIGHT. All right. All right. I'll tell you what, I'll come with you. Yeah.
Speaker A
Her mom was in Spain. That's where she should have gone. Oh, Spain. But I I thought Sue had told me in Vid that she hadn't spoken to a man in 10 years.
Speaker A
You're still family, ain't she? But you don't want to help a [ __ ] bastard.
Speaker A
All right. All right. All right. Wherever you want to go. It's Ben. No one wants us to be together.
Speaker A
[ __ ] hell. Of course we do. Of course we do. And we And you will be, won't you?
Speaker A
Don't [ __ ] believe that. No one does. See them looking [ __ ] loser. Hey, I do as it happens, Marty. Seriously, you've got something good. Don't bother what anyone else says. If you think Sue is import,
Speaker A
hand over your passport, and pay whatever it takes to go and get her, cuz I'm telling you, you can't put a price on feelings.
Speaker A
I ain't GOT A [ __ ] PASSPORT, HAVE I? [ __ ] [music] [ __ ] [ __ ] The [ __ ] [ __ ] How you doing, Craig? All right, Kev.
Speaker A
Uh, just come and talk. You best come in. Try the nuns in Preston. No.
Speaker A
Well, I won't try ringing. She's a bit seen now. You could go around. I think she'd probably go there before she go mom's. She spoke to mom for years, actually. Word of advice.
Speaker A
No t. Just leave it, Marty. Let her go wherever she wants. You're well out of it. Believe me.
Speaker A
You don't get it, do you? I love her. She loves me. Sue loves Sue and out with the barcode.
Speaker A
I mean, yes, she'll give you the best [ __ ] you've ever had in your life, but at the end of the day, if you opened her up, you find a cash register where the art should be. Believe me, her even
Speaker A
used the best thing that's ever happened to her. My life started the day she walked out that door.
Speaker A
Come on, mate. Let's go. Preston, you got the address. [music] Thanks. I owe you one.
Speaker A
Well, that's me and every catalog company in the country then. Knacky booger. What did you tell him?
Speaker A
M's gutted. You know, you've broke his arm. The poor little bastard. Well, I'm not going back and give Carol the satisfaction.
Speaker A
Well, then you better get on the phone and sort something out. Yeah. One night.
Speaker A
I said if your nana's that far gone, she won't even notice you're staying with her for a bit.
Speaker A
The pink all of them. [snorts] Live and learn. Can't wear pink to school. There you are. Wait there a sec.
Speaker A
You know that old hippie looking woman who lives at number 27? You know the one whose house really stinks? RSPCA finally raided her. They were giving them away.
Speaker A
What am I six? Deb's wet. Look, I know we haven't been pulling our weight and that, but things are going to change. The lips made a roer. What everyone's supposed to be doing. Look, Mondays, cow, breakfast, me, tidy up, you take Liam to school.
Speaker A
All different colors. See, give me a break. How many rollers have I made for you lot? And they never work cuz I'm the only one that sticks to them and I end up doing everyone else's jobs.
Speaker A
Just don't piss on my leg and tell me it's raining. What does that mean?
Speaker A
Oh god, he's on there. Is he looking? Yeah, he's looking. Don't look. Do you want to sit on me face, sweetheart? Can I just come [music] on your tits?
Speaker A
You [ __ ] pervers. Come near us again and my dad will kick the [ __ ] [ __ ] out of you.
Speaker A
He foul bastard. All right. Total peed. [music] So is he looking now, Debbie? [music] Yeah.
Speaker A
Oh, Frank. How's it shaking? Well, it's not, is it? 60 quid on booze and knees and look at me. Sober as a [ __ ] judge.
Speaker A
Nice one. Never knew the true meaning of that phrase till today. Sober as a [ __ ] judge.
Speaker A
Jess, I know. Long story. Long story. Listen, there's plenty more place in the world than [ __ ] Preston. She'll probably get in touch when the dust settles.
Speaker A
Why would you loser? Oh, come on, man. She's not that bad. It's probably just got a bit freaked with facing the music and that. I think I'd [ __ ] off for a bit if you owed that much money.
Speaker A
My mom reckons she left us cuz she was using me and she finally bled me dry.
Speaker A
But I know just give us 2 minutes, Jez. Look, no disrespect to Carol, but that twisted old car wouldn't know. True love jumped up and bit her on the m think she loves me. Of course, she must do. Why else you've been shagging you
Speaker A
for the past year if you smooth talk and good looks? Yeah, if I pay it all off for her, she'd come back then, won't you? I'm going to do it. I I'll get another job. an [laughter] Tommy.
Speaker A
I got a lasagna in pretty tonight. I know you like it working. I could do chips with it and all. Not only selfish [ __ ] I like lasagna. Sweet Jesus. Give me strength. I said lasagna, not loads of
Speaker A
bloody fishes. There you are. You know, if you started wearing a toupe now, nobody would know later on. That was your dad's mistake, leaving it too late.
Speaker A
Sorry to hear about your partner, Mr. Fisher. Why? What have you heard? No, it's nothing like that. My apologies. It's just that I rang yesterday to speak to yourself and her about your first payment. I spoke to a
Speaker A
lady. I presume that was you. That's right. Uh, she told me that your wife had done a bit of a runner.
Speaker A
They're not married. Thank God. All right. Well, seeing as your core signature to the lawn, I thought that loan. What she made you sign?
Speaker A
Nothing. It's my business. Down the [ __ ] So, [snorts] you mean that that I've got to pay a lot?
Speaker A
Huh? What did I say all along the line? She's played you for a giddy kipper.
Speaker A
Martin Fisher in heaven's name. You got to pay off £12,000. IT'S TIME YOU WOKE UP ON YOURSELF, WILL YOU? ALL MY LIFE YOU RABBITING ON. I told you so, M. He's not YOUR FRIEND, M.
Speaker A
WE'RE A [ __ ] TOUPE, M. I HAVE HAD ENOUGH RIGHT? Chill out. All right. All right.
Speaker A
I'm je I'm [laughter] psycho bastard. Sorry. You've only got one mom. Remember that. [ __ ] Got your [music] [ __ ] [ __ ] Two. Three.
Speaker A
Come on. Come on. How long have you been up? This was your dad's, weren't it? Seats totally gone. Newsweek, we changed the look of this room like that.
Speaker A
Hang on. Hang on. When did we enter the [ __ ] Twilight Zone? One night, I said, until you sort something out. And you've already been here, too. Don't push it.
Speaker A
Yeah, but I can't stay at Nanis. It's not my problem, Craig. I've got nowhere to go.
Speaker A
I haven't forgotten the way you like it. Well, then you've got a bloody good memory. What the [ __ ] are you playing at?
Speaker A
I'm not playing. Christ sakes. 3 years we didn't shag while we shared this house. And now all of a sudden you've decided you fancy me again.
Speaker A
I know you've got no self-resect, but this is really low. I could do though, you know. Haven't got laid in a while. But still kick you out afterwards. Oh, come on. How about it?
Speaker A
Something for nothing for the change. You bastard. Didn't think so. Marty makes me come like a train.
Speaker A
Oh, really? Well, they say everybody's got to be good at something, don't you? is and disaster in every other way.
Speaker A
Thank you, Craig. For your information, Marty. You don't know the first thing about Marty. Okay. So, you just sit on your dad's set and judge the world if it makes you feel better. The hours must fly by.
Speaker A
What's going on, Kev? Nothing. I'm just knackered, double shift, and babysitting party all night.
Speaker A
Don't give me that. It'll be the same the other morning. It's not guilt, is it? You're not slipping at someone else.
Speaker A
No, it's nothing like that. Well what flying? Okay. I've got a fear of flying and every time I think about it or you talk about it, I get [ __ ] limp.
Speaker A
It's a phobia, Veronica. [ __ ] off you, Jesse. They were [laughter] flying. There isn't an [music] antidote. Mr.
Speaker A
Gallagher, you're [ __ ] me. Well, the drug isn't toxic, though. Clearly, you have had some sort of extreme reaction. I'm afraid you'll just have to wait for it to clear your system.
Speaker A
How would you describe your reaction? It's like everything's, you know, real. [music] Have a word, Martin.
Speaker A
What's going on, sir? [ __ ] [ __ ] We need him to come down station to answer a few questions.
Speaker A
What are you on about? What's he supposed to have done? There's been an arson attack on the precinct down Adelaide Way.
Speaker A
Adelaide Way? Yeah. One of the shops got burnt out. All the hallmarks, I'm afraid.
Speaker A
Well, go on, tell him. Tell us what? What? He's been impressed with me since yesterday. Boulder came back for a change of clothes. It's been Nana suspected stroke. When's it supposed to have happened, Fire?
Speaker A
Sometime yesterday evening. Well, I don't see how. We took it in turn to hold Nana's hand all through the night. Not that she knew we were there, bless her. But it brought her a bit of comfort.
Speaker A
I can give you the number of the hospital if you want to check. It's St.
Speaker A
Catherine's. No, you're all right, love. Sorry, Marty. [ __ ] pigs. I said to Tony straight off, why the [ __ ] would Marty want to burn down a poverty action shop in the first place?
Speaker A
[ __ ] it. Hey, brand new knew that not made of money. I really appreciate it. You know, you're trying to torch the debt place for me.
Speaker A
Didn't do it for you, did I? Did it for me? Seen you'd run out and left me in the [ __ ] But I'm back now, aren't I? Hey, I just needed a bit of time to sort me head
Speaker A
out. Don't take Can't we start again? clean slate. But I know we've still got debt but I just want to put things right.
Speaker A
No point is that you've gone too far. All the lying. Finish you and me.
Speaker A
Massive aronom. Right. Yard sale. We'll shift all this lot in no time. Debbie, you're with me.
Speaker A
Sorry. I'm my fault. Okay, everyone else, then start tagging it up. Price it as high as you can.
Speaker A
People just think it's [ __ ] if you try to shift it for nothing. Come on, get a move on.
Speaker A
Right, I'll do it all myself then, Marty. What did that come from? Yard sale. After all, she's landed on you. You think sending a few bits and bobs will sort it? You're even softer in the head than I thought.
Speaker A
It's hard to believe seeing you treat me like the world's biggest [ __ ] [ __ ] If you're having her back, Marty, I wash my hands of you. I really do.
Speaker A
Well, I am having a back moment. If you've got anything else to say about it, you can say it outside this house, right? In fact, you can pack your bags.
Speaker A
Okay. [ __ ] off and die. We don't want you here. Hello, Cheeky Chops. Hello, Nigel.
Speaker A
More in the pie if you want. You have been busy. Hey, now we've got a minute. We can go through that stuff my sister sent me for the wedding. You know, flowers. Oh, what am I about? These are the wedding
Speaker A
invitations. Replied. Coming. Replied. Not coming. Oh, abusive. We don't have to go through these yet. Wouldn't it be terrible if we forgot someone?
Speaker A
Sheila, you're a very damaged woman. You live in a fantasy world half the time. You have to take a lolly load of tablets just to get downstairs in the morning. Why on earth you adding to your troubles by
Speaker A
marrying me? Eh, Mr. Right. I mean, if I'm the answer, what's the [ __ ] question, eh?
Speaker A
I'm a waster, Sheila. Always have been, always will be. And you can chuck as many olivants as you like at it, love, but it's not exactly made in [ __ ] heaven, is it?
Speaker A
I never said Volivants. I've never ordered volivants. Why here? Oh, [ __ ] off. Change the scenery. Spice things up a bit.
Speaker A
Get off. [ __ ] OVER. WHAT ARE YOU PLAYING AT? WHERE ARE YOU GOING?
Speaker A
It's what they do before. You remember that program? Like putting spiders on your arm WHEN YOU'RE FRIGHTENING TO SPIDERS?
Speaker A
I'm not flying the spiders. I'm flying TO THEM UP THERE. YEAH, I KNOW. BUT NO, NO, BOYS. Not natural. They [ __ ] crash.
Speaker A
They [ __ ] crash. We'll lose our £100 deposit. Suppose you could ask your cousin Dave about his caravan.
Speaker A
Can I get you a drink, friend? That's very kind, Carol. I'll have an orange juice.
Speaker A
No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Oh, well. [snorts] Hey, flat shanking with a Johnny on.
Speaker A
Of course, it suits the pharmaceutical industries to develop tools to control the masses, to deny them pleasure, cuz they put it in the water if they could.
Speaker A
Then once you've sterilized a lot of us, hey, not that I'd say no at this point.
Speaker A
I always thought you'd talk shite cuz you were pissed. [snorts] No Sheila tonight, Frank.
Speaker A
No, I've blown it, haven't I, Miss Sheila. Said things that were better left unsaid.
Speaker A
Well, you better make it right again. Bedboard and someone to keep you company. You shouldn't knock it.
Speaker A
I've never knocked it. I've just had enough of all this wedding shite. Well, you're not getting any younger, Frank. None of us are. Mark my words.
Speaker A
It's no joke being on your own at my age. [snorts] No, they stick in at home front of the telly with a pair of incontinents pants on.
Speaker A
Never see them from one Christmas to the next. Slice of turkey roll once a year. That's the only thing you got to look forward to.
Speaker A
And they have to cut it up for you cuz they won't let you have your teeth in case you choke.
Speaker A
Smell of piss. Walk in the chair opposite. Sat there trembling. Woman away on full volume.
Speaker A
Thanks Carol. I will have a word. Where's the city? Someone gave us 100 quid for it. Still only made shy of 700 quid. Dropping the ocean. Really?
Speaker A
Oh, you do surprise me. I've got a proposition to put to you. As it happens, I've been on to the citizens advice.
Speaker A
There's something called an individual voluntary arrangement. They take care of your creditors and you'll pay them back as much as you can.
Speaker A
Yeah, we've already been down that road. Tar, you've got cancellation rights. It's in the papers you signed. 28 days to change your mind.
Speaker A
So, we're back to square one. Marty is. You're still £12,000 in the red. This individual thingy, it's all kosher, reasonable interest, but you need security.
Speaker A
And I'm offering to stand it for you. You what with my house? The one Marty burned down.
Speaker A
Well, they built it again. Finished in April. Got a good set of tenants in it.
Speaker A
Why? You hate my guts. You'll stay with Marty 5 years and I'll have a place to live.
Speaker A
Yeah, but Carol, you just said you've got a house. No, it's lonely on your own.
Speaker A
5 years. I'll stay with you. You stay with Marty. Marty stays out of trouble.
Speaker A
And then I get a credit rating again. Like nothing's happened. But you can't have a credit card while you're paying it off.
Speaker A
But Marty could, right? Can I What's up with it? I don't fancy him. So So I don't fancy him. You don't fancy anyone. You're right where you [groaning] Heat.
Speaker A
Heat. [music] Heat. Heat. HALLELUJAH. [screaming] [laughter] Frank Gallop is back in the room. Sheila [snorts] my love, my bride to be [music] has to bake. All right, it's my turn on the ro.
Speaker A
Cheers, Marty. Got room for your mom, will you? Me, too. It's a bit hot.
Speaker A
That looks delicious. Where are the kittens? Oh, I flocked them with the rest of me stuff. Got a fiverr for each of them.
Speaker A
This looks lovely. Carol, [music] here you go, my resting away. They say you can choose your friends, but you can't choose your family, [music] which is a total no-brainer, obviously.
Speaker A
But if you could choose your family, I reckon you wouldn't choose anyone different. Cuz if you did and everything was all perfect, who could you blame when things [music] went wrong? Just yourself?
Speaker A
That's got to be crap. Bucket. My first stag night, the barman [music] tells me a joke. Kid goes up to his dad said he's heard that in some countries a man doesn't even know his wife till he marries her. His dad tells him that
Speaker A
happens in every [ __ ] country son. I mean it's true is it? I mean if id had known Monica was going to be a lesser I'd have never have married her would I?
Speaker A
Well yeah probably. I mean I'd have thought I was in with a you know flesh sandwich. But the point I'm making is you just don't know dear you know spin the [ __ ] wheel.
Speaker A
All right. Out the way, mate. No, Sheila. Tell me it's not ground force. That's for the conservatory. Frank going to have frosty glass and blackout blinds when I get a bit and tidy outside.
Speaker A
Hello. The garden's only 10 ft, too. [ __ ] We need a conservatory for the wedding. You know what I'm like? 5 hours out here and I'll go completely doodlely. Oh, poor [ __ ] wig warm up for summer.
Speaker A
[laughter] Too much daylight. [panting] How many times? Hey, if you cold turkey your tablets, I need telling cuz a they're worth money. be than a magnet for every [ __ ] Bronco for miles. How the hell much is all this costing?
Speaker A
8,000 plus that probably knocked a few quid off for signing on the spot. There you go. [laughter] I said I wanted a conservatory. Frank, it's my money.
Speaker A
Yeah, I haven't got eight grand. I've got a mortgage. 3 2 1 back in the room.
Speaker A
[ __ ] a remortgage costing me or you? Peanuts, Frank. So, I paid off the house last year. But if I'm going to be honest, I miss filing all those bits of paper they used to send me. So I took
Speaker A
the money out and everything and hid it in here. Well, you always said I shouldn't let people take advantage.
Speaker A
Come here, you. [laughter] God, you are a total oneoff. [laughter] Why don't you let Frank take care of that? Eh, okay.
Speaker A
So, how much should be over quoted? Three grand. Four. Let's say four. Four grand. Split it 50/50. Gives a receipt for the lot. Job's 8 grand. On your [ __ ] bike, TomTo, you seen Watchdog?
Speaker A
Yeah. Presenter. Seen his brother. Twins. He's Scottish. Bone a friend or [ __ ] off.
Speaker A
We run an honest business here. Pay our taxes. All above board. I've just pulled a cake out if we're all done and dusted. Beer. Anyone? Do you tonic? No, I'm all right. Thanks, love.
Speaker A
And he's had enough. Where the [ __ ] did you dig them up? Advert cassette.
Speaker A
Right. Thanks for telling me. Veronica, those tights you gave me have got a hole in.
Speaker A
Not now, Mom. Oh, what's the matter with her? I lost a fire. I said not now.
Speaker A
I've just phoned my IVS failed again. I don't know why you want kids anyway.
Speaker A
Painting the bloody ass if you ask me. Bleed you dry. Take away the best years of your life and then they grow up to be a total waste.
Speaker A
Tell you what, Mom. Don't mince your words. Say what you really feel. I mean, it's not much better from where I'm standing, is it? I mean, what did I get?
Speaker A
Jane the [ __ ] jungle, but with a beard. Wedding dress done. Order flowers done.
Speaker A
Yeah. Wedding cake. Martha Stewart berry basket cake with wooden dow supports. If I can get the wooden dowels. If not, I'll just have to use toilet roll holders.
Speaker A
And you're making that yourself. So done. Right. That brings us to bridesmaids. And you'll obviously want Karen as one.
Speaker A
Me? Bridesmaid? You must be joking. So that just leaves me and Liam as page boy.
Speaker A
I've just had to turn your water off, love, while we do digging. Okay. Right. So that's me and Liam. And I need a bridesmaid dress. So I have to ground digging. What does he mean digging?
Speaker A
But I don't understand. Why are you digging? The foundations. The ground's solid. Just put it on there Cardier.
Speaker A
It won't stand up. We've only got to dig a few feet. I said no. I don't want digging. But if we don't dig, you can't have a conservatory.
Speaker A
All right, just forget it then. What? I said forget it. I don't want a conservatory.
Speaker A
You're joking or what? I booked timing for this job, and you can't have a refund.
Speaker A
And keep the money and the cake, too, if you want it. Look, I bought out gear now. Let's just get on with it.
Speaker A
Well, that's it then, is it? No more freebies on the NHS. I mean Kev sure of a [ __ ] ain't got two grand for going private. So looks like game over.
Speaker A
Is it still Kev's sperm that's the problem? Still doing backstroke. Thing is he never wanted him till bloody mouth on Mighty started going on about it and now he's desperate.
Speaker A
How am I going to tell him that they failed again? I mean, when they've been handpicked and scored out of 100 and kids like Mandy McGregor can get pregnant from just [ __ ] sneezing.
Speaker A
Who's that fur? Have you ever thought about having any? Yeah. To know a lot of work, aren't they?
Speaker A
you alone. Leave it alone. Leave me alone. Leave it alone. PLEASE DON'T SHEILA. SHEILA. [laughter] I don't want it. [gasps] I don't want it.
Speaker A
It's all right. No dick. No. No. It's all right. No digging. I don't want them to do it.
Speaker A
Do they want Do they want all right? All right. They'll leave it alone. [ __ ] hell. I'm so sorry. I thought I was sorry, Frank. It's just so It was so All right. All right. All right. There's
Speaker A
no need to There's something I need to tell you. I can't marry you without telling you.
Speaker A
You're not a bloke. No, [crying] stop. No. No. [panting] I was married before before Ed.
Speaker A
Before Ed Callum's [snorts] dad, Ed. Yeah. Sheldon. But he died of a heart attack.
Speaker A
Oh well. Yeah. Well, you know, some of these BS these they don't take care of themselves, do they? You know, no exercise pissing it up.
Speaker A
[panting and sighs] But, uh, I mean, if it's putting you off getting married again, she No, it's not that.
Speaker A
It's just he's buried in the garden. Are you serious? No coughing, nothing. She just wrapped him in a doily, said a few Hail Marys, and then shoved him six feet under. It's what he would have wanted. She gives another pint ke a couple of these.
Speaker A
A bit [ __ ] weird though. Of course, it's a bit [ __ ] weird.
Speaker A
Michael Jackson video in your back garden. stiff under the what's it bus? It's hardly Mr. and Mrs. is it? Hey, do you reckon Karen knows?
Speaker A
Hey Karen. Tell her you stupid bastard. It's not like he's a dad. So, what did Sheila say about it? I mean, he's sure right.
Speaker A
Oh, [ __ ] Should I know? A So, uh, so should he arrive in the hospital? Should have been today, shall we?
Speaker A
Might be tomorrow. You know what they're like. I'll um I'll take him home, shall I? Make sure Sheila's all right. Find out what I can.
Speaker A
Come on, Toss. Cheers. Oh, look at that Leon. You'd look sweet in there. O, he was a sponsor ass outside then.
Speaker A
Not again. What does he want? What? Oh, go on, Debbs. There's your boyfriend in here. You can tell us.
Speaker A
You're joking, aren't you? He's only about 4. Some tell him I've gone out. [ __ ] off.
Speaker A
Thanks for bringing home. It's all right. Well, I thought, you know, I come and see how it's going. You know, wit wedding and that.
Speaker A
Sorry, I haven't got much to offer you. I could do your vodka. So, is that where he's buried then?
Speaker A
What? I'm I'm I'm sorry. It's just what Frank said and Well, I mean only to us and I what the hell happened.
Speaker A
Let me uh let me do those. There's not really much to say actually. I just couldn't handle the funeral was the agrophobia and and when he fell downstairs and killed himself, I thought the garden's just as good a place as
Speaker A
any. And he loved that garden. He loved it. used to sit out there and point where to plant things.
Speaker A
Fell down the stairs. I I thought he had heart attack. He did. He did. He did.
Speaker A
After he fell down the stairs, I thought maybe I should have done him a headstone, but it would have spoiled the symmetry and he wouldn't have liked that. Wouldn't have liked it. I mean, there wasn't any time. I didn't even
Speaker A
have time to take off his jewelry. He didn't like me to touch him anyway.
Speaker A
That's why I can't wear gold. I swear I have to fake or platinum. Maybe I should have felt someone. But I knew he was dead because he didn't get up to watch the swing swing.
Speaker A
What did Frank say? What did he say? I watch Gold Sheila. You look nice, Carol. I always think animal prints suit you. Veronica's put you up to this, aren't you?
Speaker A
No, of course not. Well, whatever it is you're wanting, I'm not biting. Hi, Debbie. Doing a good trade on that confetti.
Speaker A
We're not [ __ ] wanting. The thing is, it's not actually me wanting something. It's Sheila. She's obviously stressed about the wedding, and she really wants me to be a bridesmaid but the answer's no.
Speaker A
Oh, go on, Carol. Please. I'm not nicking you a bridesmaid dress. I got cautioned the last time I tried something. I can't take that chance again.
Speaker A
All right, Ivonne. Just a pack of gum for me. 320. Take what you want. Day for bearded ladies. We'll last week Carol.
Speaker A
Thank you. Why are you following me? I've got racing ninjas. Look, Brian, the thing is I don't want to be rude or anything. I'm just not really interested. It's nothing personal or anything. It's just it's all about chemicals in your brain and you can't
Speaker A
help those. Who you've got them for and who you haven't. And with you, I just haven't. Sorry. No hard feelings. Eh, you can earn me skateboard if you let me kiss you.
Speaker A
I don't want a skateboard. [music] What I want is a bridesmaid dress. What' you do that for?
Speaker A
She's buried him with a lord of gold. He was covered in it. Rings, watches, teeth. Must be Mr. fortune.
Speaker A
What the [ __ ] that got to do with me? I want you to dig him up.
Speaker A
D you dig him up. It's not Brookside. He's a dead person. Well, exactly. He don't need it, does he? E. But years ago, it only be a pack of bones.
Speaker A
Oh, and what? You don't think he's he's entitled to everlasting [ __ ] what's it? A man's soul has a right to be left in peace, doesn't he? Or what is the world coming to?
Speaker A
Well, you know what? You can say a few prayers when you bury him again.
Speaker A
[snorts] Come on, Frank. Kev's cousin can fence it. All we need to do is get rid of Sheila for the night. Dig him up. Split it 50/50.
Speaker A
It's yours by rights. Yeah, but is it? Yeah, of course it is. Cuz Well, Sheldon are married to Sheila.
Speaker A
Yeah. Which makes her his next king, right? You're married to Sheila. Well, near enough. So, that makes you a I really need this money, Frank. And don't pretend you don't. Money Sheila spending on this wedding, it's [snorts] payback.
Speaker A
It's better. Oh, you're awake. Oh, that was a bit hardcore. [sighs] What time is it?
Speaker A
About 3. [ __ ] Amanda, I'm here. I'm here now. [ __ ] you. Lit.
Speaker A
Look, just let me take her. I said I would. You said you'd be here at 2. Jesus Christ. Look, just one afternoon out of me friends. That's all I wanted.
Speaker A
Well, I'm here now. You're not reliable. Said I didn't want you with her. I said you'd get bored and [ __ ] me over. And you have that in our lives, lit. You're going to end up like your own [ __ ] dad.
Speaker A
[music] Mandy, I thought we'd agree to make a go of it. [ __ ] Look, she'll calm down, Lip. She's just pissed off.
Speaker A
She's right there, isn't she? [ __ ] up like she said I would. Okay, so tell her you're sorry and tell her you'll make it up to her.
Speaker A
I don't want to be like him. I want to be a good dad. Look, do you think Well, what if I asked her to move in with me?
Speaker A
I'd be there for her all the time and she'd know I mean it. I suppose.
Speaker A
Yeah. I could redecorate my room. Do it how she likes. That's commitment, isn't it?
Speaker A
Yeah. Where'd you get this from? Wrong color. Come on, kid. GET MUSIC or something. Maybe we should invite some of the others.
Speaker A
No, [music] we can do that later on. We just thought we'd have a bit of a celebration. Hey, get the girl a drink.
Speaker A
Come on. So much fun. I got so much fun. I got so much fun. [music] Come on, baby.
Speaker A
So much fun. [music] I got so much. I got so much. [music] Where'd you get it from?
Speaker A
I stole it. Where from? My dad works at Apprentice and they make wedding invitations. So I know he's getting married. Don't cry. Please stop crying money. You'll be all right. I saw you out dress. You'll be fine.
Speaker A
So Brian how many more weddings do you know of? I love this one. I'm having such a lovely time.
Speaker A
Dance, sweet, really. Come on then, Sheila. Come on. [laughter] There you go. Come on.
Speaker A
Down in one. Go on. GO ON. GO ON. ALL THE WAY. Come on. Come on. [laughter] Oh, thank [ __ ] for that.
Speaker A
How many did you give up? 10. You don't think she's That's the thing about women. See, she's devious like Alistister [ __ ] Campbell. A lot of your tick tick make out that there's nothing going on but inside.
Speaker A
I mean, where's Kev while you're here? E witching hour leg strapped in a [ __ ] corpse. Oh, I'm in bed. None the flaming wiser.
Speaker A
More to the point. Where are you, Frank? You are meant to be [ __ ] helping.
Speaker A
Hey, you know, I can't go there. It's too close to home. Anyway, I'm getting flashbacks to me, man. Anyway, you were a [ __ ] nurse. You're used to dead body.
Speaker A
[ __ ] hell, Frank. I think I found him. Have a look. Can you see the gold?
Speaker A
Bloody hell. [panting and gasps] [sighs] [snorts] There's a watch though [panting] [snorts] and some rings.
Speaker A
[ __ ] me. Jesus Christ. On a bike. That was some [ __ ] fall down the stairs. [panting] Here [music] you got your double.
Speaker A
Dick him up. She said won't hurt anyone. She said no. You're not the one just found out you're marrying mad of [ __ ] Frank. I am just as freaked out about this as you are.
Speaker A
Hello. How's that work? Are you the one that's lying awake 3:00 in the morning wondering whether you're going to make it till breakfast time?
Speaker A
Look. Well, this this wouldn't normally be my first port call, but maybe we should, you know, think about about going to the police. You could say you're a guard.
Speaker A
How come suddenly it's all about me? Well, you're the one who [ __ ] dug him off.
Speaker A
Hey, Frank, you want to pull yourself together? I mean, there might be a perfectly reasonable explanation for a fondue set in the ribs. What? He thought, "Oh, I know. I'd try a bit of acupuncture to cure the heart attack."
Speaker A
And oh dear, whoops. I've stabbed myself to death. I don't think so. Well, if you go to the police, we've lost the goal. So, why don't you just shut up about it?
Speaker A
You know when did you turn into Lada Coft Tomb Raider? I've got a shocking head. Didn't sleep properly last night. Was up and down. I could kill you.
Speaker A
Sorry. Am I interrupting something? No. No. We were just talking about the wedding. Frank's really looking forward to it.
Speaker A
Oh, Frank, are you Of course I am. I got my dress fitting today. Who are you?
Speaker A
Oh, I got a d Monty bodice nylon jewel veil modesty panel. Actually, I um I know you don't like looking after the twins, but I thought maybe just for a good Well, of course I do. No, don't be
Speaker A
silly. Anytime. It' only be for an hour. Yeah, don't question it, Sheila. He might change his mind.
Speaker A
Anyway, I don't know what I should Veronica. Have you got moles then? Do what?
Speaker A
Moles. Have you got him? Oh, Liza said she saw you digging in garden. She lives over but back from you.
Speaker A
No, Lillian. No, it it's the um digger. We got the builders in. It's not us.
Speaker A
It's definitely you in the night. She wanted to go. No, no, no. She She must have been, you know, dreaming it. Dreamt it. You know what she's like. Just hang on. Hang on.
Speaker A
She's Come on, Dan. You've got Tell me it wedding. I know she did. She knows you're Hang on, Lillian. Hang on. Just go on down. You enjoy yourself.
Speaker A
Tell me it was you cuz she knows. Hey, hey, hey, hey. Your work on this planet is finished. Return to your own people.
Speaker A
She don't tell lies. She saw you. [ __ ] hell. No, no, no. Lip, I told you.
Speaker A
Just come with us a minute. Debs, watch. Kater, what are we doing? light. You'll see in a minute. All right.
Speaker A
You ready? Tada. What's this meant to be? Well, it's for you. I thought if you moved in here, I'll be around, won't I?
Speaker A
Won't be able to forget things. Lip, a couple of coats of paint aren't going to solve anything. And what makes you think I'm going to move in here with you lot? It's a [ __ ] mad house.
Speaker A
No offense, but you'd rather eat me home sick. I don't understand you. But I want it to work, Mandy.
Speaker A
Yeah, well, so do I. But it's us we've got to sort out the real stuff. Not some [ __ ] paint job.
Speaker A
I don't want to. Deb Ryan, you said you'd help me. You said I could kiss you.
Speaker A
Just help me get the dress. I'm not just one. Okay, here on the mouth. On the mouth. I'm not doing it.
Speaker A
Just help me get the dress. All right. Where do you get it from? You know, grave robbing. Use your stuff.
Speaker A
I'd put it back if I was you. Hey, it's fake. A whole lot of it ain't worth a penny.
Speaker A
Go on then. Let me see. All right, then. But make it quick and if you gobble me, I'll throw up on you.
Speaker A
Well, go on then. Ah, I think you're horrible. You think you're really it, but you're not. You're just using me, and you shouldn't do that cuz it's wrong. I don't want to kiss you. I won't see you ever again.
Speaker A
Frank, are you all right about tomorrow? I can't wait to meet Mrs. Galla. I think I'll just hit the huer [music] just looking up for the night. Frank Frank.
Speaker A
Yeah. Just, you know, love. Frank, are you all right, love? Yeah. Yeah. Just, you know, is there something wrong, Frank?
Speaker A
What? Lillian said, "Were you digging?" Did you Did you dig him up? Sorry, love. I hear you.
Speaker A
Did you dig him up? Did you dig him up? Did you dig him up, Frank?
Speaker A
Hey Monica. You've heard, haven't you, from the hospital? It's not good news, is it?
Speaker A
No. Oh, look. I'm really sorry. I'm just annoyed to tell you. Sake. You mind your fe?
Speaker A
What the [ __ ] are you playing at, Frank? Let me in. You've just broken the [ __ ] window.
Speaker A
I need the money from the gold. What [ __ ] gold? You've done what?
Speaker A
[ __ ] dead anyway. Uh, correction. murdered. How much? Hey, hey, you you what?
Speaker A
Sheila murdered him, soul. She murdered him. You're joking. Was a [ __ ] Yeah. Well, Frank, it was a big fat zero cuz it's all fake. SOME [ __ ] TOUGH [ __ ] ON BOTH OF US.
Speaker A
SO, I dug up that body for nothing. You didn't dig him up. I [ __ ] DIED.
Speaker A
GOLD DOES ME GET OUT OF JAIL FREE CARD. HOW THE HELL AM I GOING TO GET AWAY FROM HER NOW?
Speaker A
WELL, WHAT you about? She knows [ __ ] Lillian [ __ ] And now she's going to kill me. No, it's not [ __ ] funny. Look, you didn't see her with that spade. You know, they get a
Speaker A
taste for it, don't they? I've seen Crime Watch. For [ __ ] sake. WHAT THE HELL AM I GOING TO DO NOW?
Speaker A
[gasps] I'm going to have to stay here while I get me together. Bos, you were joking over my dead body.
Speaker A
IT'S ME DARKEST HOUR, ME DREAM WEDDING in tatters. Me kids ARE NOT TAKING PITY ON ME. LIPS ALREADY THROWN ME OUT.
Speaker A
YEAH, WELL, TELL IT TO OPEN UP. VERONICA, you can't do this to me. I'm a m man.
Speaker A
You got me into this. I don't believe you. And I don't. What were you thinking?
Speaker A
Well, I I thought we could use the money to, you know, for IVF. I know how much you wanted, Kev.
Speaker A
Oh, you come here, you dab cow. Hey, how many bloss could say the wife would go grave robbing for him?
Speaker A
And all and [snorts] he stank. Well, look, V, we're all right. We're all right. We don't need no one else.
Speaker A
But we we don't need to be trying for the baby to have sex, do we?
Speaker A
No, that is [laughter] in then. H Frank [music] [music] Frank Frank Frank Frank Frank Frank Frank Frankie Hey, love.
Speaker A
Carl. Carl, is your dad there? No. Why? I think he's left for me. Hey, give over Sheila. He's um he's probably with um Well, he's probably out with Kev somewhere, ain't he? You know, get him Eden that he's bad luck seeing your
Speaker A
wedding, ain't it? Look, why don't you go home and uh Don't worry, we'll we'll find him.
Speaker A
I'll get in. What the [ __ ] are you doing, Frank? It's your wedding day. You can't just disappear. She's in pieces.
Speaker A
Yeah, but what about me? I'm a hunted man. She caught a [ __ ] spade. Veronica, if you're not going to marry her, Frank, you have got to tell her. Sort him out, will you? I'm going Sheila's.
Speaker A
Come on, Ned. All right. So, you dig up this bloke and she's killed him, right?
Speaker A
Yeah. And used to say he's not the only one. Well, you remember Eddie the Owl missionary work in Africa or 6 feet under? What's the more likely? Eh, well, look, the only reason you know about Sheldon in the first place cuz she
Speaker A
told you. And what's she going to tell you for? She's planning on giving you the same.
Speaker A
Well, it's double bluff, in it. Plus, she had no choice. No, that's bollocks. Frank, the reason No, Frank, the reason she told you is because she trusts you.
Speaker A
That woman, she wouldn't have a finger on you. [ __ ] knows why, but she thinks the sun shines out of your ass.
Speaker A
But she's still a [ __ ] murderer, Kev. I'm not marrying her. It's beautiful, isn't it?
Speaker A
I thought might as well put it on, though. I don't suppose I'll be needing it now.
Speaker A
Hey, now. Come on, Enough. He knows, doesn't he? He knows about Shelton. I'm sorry, Sheila. It didn't mean he used to hit me.
Speaker A
If everything wasn't just so he used to. It's like he was looking for things to find fault with. I If his records weren't stuck neatly or if I had a button done.
Speaker A
Sheldon [ __ ] beat you. I was young, you see. You think you deserve it, don't you? You don't know any better.
Speaker A
It was the goat that was the worst. He used to burn me with it. pattern marks all up and down me arms and legs.
Speaker A
[screaming] And if I cried, he'd punch me in the face. I simply once put me in hospital for a month. Why didn't anybody stop him? Why didn't you go to the police?
Speaker A
I did. I did. I used to pretend they couldn't see the marks. They just used to say, "They're there. Give me boiled sweet and send me home.
Speaker A
They used to call it a domestic in those days. They didn't want to get involved.
Speaker A
It's always gobstoppers. I can't step aside them now. And one night he was coming at me with some just went.
Speaker A
[screaming] I didn't plan anything. Oh, Sheila, what a bastard. I can't believe you've never told us before. He deserved everything he got then. You mustn't waste another breath on him. Frank's gone, Veronica, because of me. Because of what I've done.
Speaker A
Hey, no. Come on. But you think maybe if think maybe if I confessed, do you think maybe Frank could forgive me? I know. I know he doesn't love me anymore, but if you could forgive [laughter] me, that would
Speaker A
be something. No. Come on, Sheila. You are not getting yourself banged up the likes of Sheldon.
Speaker A
He was a monster. But for Frank, it's the best thing that's ever happened to me.
Speaker A
I'm going to turn myself in. Having a nice time, are you? Well, your fiance's gone to turn herself in.
Speaker A
Well, you can't do the time for the murder of a block who beat it to a [ __ ] pulp.
Speaker A
O, where the [ __ ] you going? Empty house. I'm going to keep myself company.
Speaker A
For [ __ ] sake, Frank. I used to burn a [ __ ] arms with a medallion. How much more convincing do you need? I am not [ __ ] joking, Frank. You can't let her go through with it. She'll go to prison.
Speaker A
She's only confessing cuz she thinks it's what you want. [ __ ] hell. What?
Speaker A
Mr. [snorts] and Mrs. Gallagher, she's opened a [ __ ] joint account for you.
Speaker A
[music] Get away. Get away. [music] [music] For [ __ ] sake. [music] [music] [music] [ __ ] you.
Speaker A
Oh, blime me. Look at you, Sheila. A twins have grown, eh? Yeah. Yeah, they have.
Speaker A
So, what can we do for you? You come to report a crime? What is it? Frank wants to wear his Hawaiian shirt for the wedding.
Speaker A
No. [crying] No. I've come to confess [bell] to a murder. Sorry, Sheila. Love, you don't have to marry Frank, you know, if you don't want to.
Speaker A
You don't have to go making up stories. No, I do. I really do. It's It's just cuz of the conservatory. See?
Speaker A
All right. Um maybe we should um we'll get you a cup of tea. Yeah. Yeah, that would be lovely. Um with Deborra, if you got it.
Speaker A
Don't stop it. No. Oh, Ned. All the [ __ ] horses. Right. Whatever. She's saying it's not true, right? It's just pre-wedding jitters, isn't it?
Speaker A
It's just she's Can I just have a couple of minutes with her on me?
Speaker A
Sheila, what are you doing? You daff may. I know you know about him, what I've done. So, I thought I'd come and get it off my chest. Oh, [ __ ] What you talking about? If he was a brute, wasn't he?
Speaker A
It's all right cuz Veronica told me he deserved everything he got. God, if I'd have got to him first, I'd have done it. Cuz if anyone lays a [ __ ] finger on you, Frank, you'd gone because of what I'd
Speaker A
done. No. Well, yeah, but it was just, you know, just a mo moment of cold feet, but just a normal kind of blo thing.
Speaker A
just I got a bit anyway the point is I'm here now why don't we just go home e to tell you the truth you finding out it's quite a weight off cuz um I've been giving it a lot of thought and I thought
Speaker A
maybe all this trouble I've had over the last few years you know like the pills and everything maybe it's because of the guilt I think I need to be punished Chill. You have served your time in here.
Speaker A
So, what good's it going to do? You can't You're not going to bring him back, is it?
Speaker A
I'll tell you something, Sheila. If you go to prison No, I know. If you go to prison, you will kill another man.
Speaker A
No. Because I will die of a broken heart. Do you really mean that? Do I a man without a woman?
Speaker A
Sheila Jackson, will you do me the great thingy of being my wife? Yes. Yes. Yes. Of course I will. Of course I will. [laughter] And let's get the [ __ ] out of this place then.
Speaker A
Well, you don't scrub up bad. Didn't think you were coming. Yeah, well, my sis, would I got my mom to mine, Katie? So, it's just me and you today. If we can remember how [music] to do that.
Speaker A
Of course we can. Come on. You got a button on Mart in it. Hi, Karen. Hi.
Speaker A
Cheers. Cheers. In a civil service, we don't make vows of a religious nature. Thank folk.
Speaker A
But we pledge our love, honor, and respect in a way that's just as deeply binding.
Speaker A
Come on. Come on. Come on. Get to the good bit. Do you Vernon Francis Gallagher, Go on, join in if you know the words.
Speaker A
Do you, Vernon Francis Gallagher, take Sheila Jackson to be your lawfully wife? I DO. [cheering] AND DO YOU, Sheila Jackson, take Vernon Francis Gallagher to be your lawfully wedded husband?
Speaker A
Yes. Yeah, I'm guilty. Here's the ring. I now pronounce you husband and wife. Way to go, Frank.
Speaker A
Congratulations and celebrations when [music] I tell everyone that you're in love with me. Congratulations.
Speaker A
[music] I'm glad you came through. Yeah. Well, I could hardly let her down, could I?
Speaker A
Anyway, I got to thinking never got the divorce from Monica [music] in the end, so it's not legal anyway.
Speaker A
So, I've got a new joke, right? What does bigger me mean? One wife too many.
Speaker A
And monogamy, same [ __ ] thing. But you know, if you've got to have a ball and chain, she's the woman for the [music] job. Cuz if we ever fall on hard times, you can send her out as a
Speaker A
contract killer. So, like the chief Roman said, Venie Vidy Vololivon, let's have a [ __ ] party.
Speaker A
Heat. Heat. [music] Heat. Heat. [music] Congratulations [music] [music] [music] and jubilations. [singing] I want the world to know.
Speaker A
Give me that as can be. I want the world. I'm [music] happy as can be.
Topics:Shameless UKSeason 3Gallagher familyChatsworth EstateBritish dramaworking classdark comedyfamily strugglessocial issuesdrug raids
