MADtv Garnier Nicole Richie — Transcript

[Music] My hair color has something yours doesn't: rich, radiant shine because it's your TR. [Music] Like has something yours doesn't. $15 million worth of shoes and handbags, which designer sent me for free. Rich, radiant me. Just think, for the price of this pair of six and a halfs, you could feed a family well. Six and [Music] A2. My husband has something yours doesn't: an Emmy, a Tony, and a starring role on Broadway because we live in New York. Rich, radiant New York, the greatest city in the world if you are infused with enough cash to afford a three-story brownstone on the Upper West Side with a live-in chef, nanny, and service elevator, which I am all to something called me trees and the good folks at HBO and oh.

No, no, no, they're cutting me up. There's so many people to thank. Um, uh, uh, the crew, the crew, the amazing crew. Oh, and all the passersby, the passersby that wish me well. Oh, thank you, thank you so much. My hair is a love letter to Y. I like to experiment with my hair color, of course. So blonde, cornball blonde, the corn hole blonde. I use Pantene Pro-V formula because my hair color really can be beating, especially when you live in New York starring two hit TV shows, have three children, and a hot Puerto Rican husband who actually is a job on the books. When my hair color looks good, I feel good. I know people are sad about the war in Iraq and the tsunami and AIDS, and that's bad in everything, but that doesn't bring me down because my hair looks so [Music] amazing. My hair color does something there. Does it? It gets put on by my own damn hands. I use Queen Helen Smoke Licorice number four. You know it's working. CU of the sulfa SM. Now look, I could talk about rich and all and grapeseed or and all that mess, but if you’re buying hair color out of a box, you ain't no TV star, and I don't know what New York they come from. The only thing a passerby said to me was, "Get out of my way." Took a dump on the subway platform anyway. Queen Helen 399 M. Do not use near open [Music] flame. Available at swap meets and finer Chevron stations everywhere. [Applause]

in the world if you are infused with enough cash to afford a three-story Brownstone on the upper west side with a livein chef Nanny and service elevator which I am all to something called me trees and the good Folks at HBO and oh

no no no they're they're cutting me up there's so many people to thank um uh uh The Crew The Crew The Amazing crew oh and and all the passers by the passers by that wish me well oh thank you thank

you so much my hair is a love letter to Y I like to experiment with my hair color course so blonde cornball blonde the corn hole blonde I use Pantene Proby formula because my hair color really can de

beating especially when you live in New York starring two hit TV shows have three children and a hot Puerto Rican husband who actually is a job on the books when my hair color looks good I feel good I know people are sad about the war

in Iraq and the tsunami and AIDS and that's bad in everything but that doesn't bring me down because my hair looks so [Music] amazing my hair color does something there does it gets put on by my own damn

hands I use Queen hen smoke licorice number four you know it's working CU of the sulfa SM now look I could talk about rich and all and grap seed or and all that mess but if you buying hair color out of box

you ain't no TV star and I don't know what New York they come from the only thing a passor b said to me was get the out my way took a dump on the subway platform anyway Queen Helen 399

M do not use near Open [Music] Flame available at swap meets and finer Chevron stations everywhere [Applause]