Speaker A
[Music] Yeah. What's going on? What's on your mind? Even if the date went good.
Compilation of men facing harsh truths about dating, relationships, and self-improvement from Ant CEO's candid advice.
Key Takeaways
- Financial stability and self-improvement are crucial before serious dating.
- Accountability and realistic expectations improve relationship outcomes.
- Women respect men who have built themselves and have leverage.
- Unhealthy relationship patterns often stem from immaturity and lack of boundaries.
- Chasing women and ignoring red flags leads to repeated relationship failures.
Summary
- Men discuss frustrations with dating, including paying for dates without expected outcomes.
- Ant CEO emphasizes financial and emotional readiness before pursuing serious relationships.
- The importance of accountability and self-respect in dating is highlighted.
- Men share experiences of insecurity and cheating in relationships.
- Ant CEO advises men to build themselves financially and emotionally before seeking a wife.
- The video critiques unrealistic romantic expectations and encourages maturity.
- Discussions include the impact of upbringing and personal growth on relationship success.
- Advice is given on setting boundaries and recognizing unhealthy relationship patterns.
- The video stresses the value of self-improvement and leverage in dating dynamics.
- Men are encouraged to avoid chasing women and to establish clear foundations early.
Chapters
- 00:00Dating frustrations and accountability
- 03:20Financial readiness for relationships
- 06:44Impact of upbringing on relationships
- 10:04Maturity and relationship expectations
- 13:04Setting boundaries and recognizing red flags
- 20:08Dealing with cheating and insecurity
- 23:14Building leverage and self-respect
- 26:20Avoiding chasing and establishing foundations
Full Transcript — Download SRT & Markdown
Speaker A
Who decided to take her on the date? Me. Who picked the restaurant? Me. Who pulled that out and paid for the food?
Speaker A
I paid for the food. So what you complaining about? She didn't come over after. So what? You still paid for the [ __ ].
Speaker A
You spent $150 and got nothing in return because you decided to use your money. So what? Yeah, but the date went
Speaker A
good. There wasn't no reason for her not to come over. So what? Don't matter. Why didn't you pay a prostitute if it was just for you to get some [ __ ]? You should have just paid a prostitute. You
Speaker A
should have just [ __ ] one over. No, I never said I want to do anything. Just just to come over and you know if a girl come we men stop the [ __ ]. If a woman come to your house, you trying to
Speaker A
[ __ ] Stop the [ __ ] No. No, I wasn't trying to do that. So then why are you clear that she was over your house then?
Speaker A
So we got more drinks. [ __ ] you could have drunk. You could drink more anywhere. You can go drink at the bar.
Speaker A
You can drink at the restaurant that I was at. Yeah, but I didn't want to spend more money. I already spent more. I already The bill is already 150. Yeah, but that's your fault. You paid for the $150
Speaker A
bill, not her. Yeah, but there's free drinks at my crib. Yeah, but you So then why didn't you make the place at the crib? Then why didn't you just have her come to the crib from the jump? Cuz I
Speaker A
want to go I want to take her out first again. Your fault. I wanted to. Well, you wanted to. Well, just because you want to do something don't mean you going to have the best option. So she So
Speaker A
that's not using somebody, [ __ ] No, you decided to pay for the restaurant and pay for the food. You What do you mean using somebody? Is there a pew pew to your head telling you to pay for the
Speaker A
[ __ ] No. Okay, then. So, what are you complaining about? Where's your accountability? There wasn't no reason for her not to come over. It was no reason for you to pay $150 for a date.
Speaker A
You can't come over for an hour at least. Come on, bro. You a weird [ __ ] Don't [ __ ] need to go over your house, [ __ ] That [ __ ] got a dungeon in the
Speaker A
basement with chains at the top of that [ __ ] What? You want her to come over for an hour to do what? I don't want to [ __ ] her. I just want to get drinks.
Speaker A
your lame ass on. Get the [ __ ] off my life with that dumb [ __ ] Yo, you hear me? Yeah, I get you. All right, bet. So, so I'm in a relationship right now, right? And like I feel like
Speaker A
um my girl be cheating, right? Just like out of like insecurities that I have about myself, I guess. So, it's like from like my my first girlfriend that I had, right? I'm tell you, I'm 22 right now, right? And my first girlfriend I
Speaker A
had was at 21 and she ended up cheating on me, right? So, this girl that I'm dealing with right now, right, she's kind of showing me the same type of patterns that my ex did before she cheated, right? And she's
Speaker A
her up on like she Let me ask you a question. Let me let me before we get into that, let me ask you a question.
Speaker A
Why do you want a girlfriend? Why do I want a girlfriend? Mhm. I'm looking for someone to share my life with. So, you looking for a wife? Yes.
Speaker A
Okay. How much money you make? I make around like 35 a year. You ain't ready for no wife. So, you don't need to be dating anyway. You ain't got enough money to be looking for no relationship and no wife and no time soon. You don't
Speaker A
make enough money. Why do you say that? Because to be because you're supposed to be a man and a man is is a husband. It's supposed to be a provider. So right now you can barely provide for yourself. And
Speaker A
it's not a bad thing. You [ __ ] 21 or 22. So you you in your younger 20s. It's not a knock or a diss at you, [ __ ] I didn't have no money when I was [ __ ]
Speaker A
21, 22. So what I'm telling you is you not where you need to be as a man before you even start dating. You're not where you need to be. And it's not all about money, but you have to be able to have
Speaker A
that, you know, during the during the dating process and when you get into a relationship with a woman. And it gets serious and then you eventually looking for a wife. You're not you just not financially ready yet. So you g you
Speaker A
gonna [ __ ] yourself over because you worried about all this other [ __ ] And I promise you your day now comes to be a lot better and women will probably have a lot more respect for you and you
Speaker A
probably act better as a man if you got your money up because then you'll have some pride and some and some, you know, some some respect for yourself and women will probably respect you more. But you ain't you're not making enough to be
Speaker A
nobody's husband, bro. You're not you're not ready to be nobody's husband yet. Okay. So I hear you on that, right? But why I feel like why can't I have a girl, right? I I make 35, right? And she makes
Speaker A
whatever she makes, right? But I can take care of myself. Yeah, but you can't take care of a woman right now and possible children.
Speaker A
We're not having children. Y'all eventually want to have children, right? Well, eventually. But Right. So then you not there yet. I asked you why you wanted a girlfriend. You said because I'm looking for somebody to spend the rest of my life with. So you're speaking
Speaker A
about a wife. Yes. So you're not ready. So because you want a girlfriend because you want to be someone's husband. Meaning you want a future wife. But you're not ready yet.
Speaker A
So we can't build together. Women are not trying to build with the man. Women want to be with the man that's already built. You ain't even built within yourself yet. Do you own a home? No.
Speaker A
Okay then. You don't own a home. Do you own a car? Yes. You're not where you need to be yet, bro. You don't have anything else in place right now for you to be into a situation right now with a
Speaker A
woman. You not you not there yet, bro. And that's okay. You young as [ __ ] I wish I had somebody telling me this when I was your age. You're young as [ __ ] And these women are cheating on you.
Speaker A
So your way and your your your way ain't working. Your your the process that you moving ain't working. You don't got all the answers. So I'm giving you some game up front. As a man, you got to make sure
Speaker A
that you a better you you a good enough man first. and you probably wouldn't be dealing with these type of women. You probably would have a little bit more respect for yourself. You probably would be checking [ __ ] at the door because you
Speaker A
have the leverage to do it. You don't have the leverage to do it right now. So, you have to accept what you can get right now at this point. So, I don't Okay, so the part I don't understand right?
Speaker A
So, you're So, you're trying to tell me that if I don't have enough money, then I'm never going to be able to like find a wife. Yep.
Speaker A
That makes no sense because people who have money, their wife cheat on them. We not talk. God, you don't get it, bro. We not talking about the possibility. So, that's why asking me. I've explained it multiple times and everybody in here
Speaker A
understands understand. Who raised you? Your mama raised you? Yes. My mama raised me. Your daddy was in your life?
Speaker A
Yes. Did y'all live in the same household? Nah. Yeah. You got a lot of You got a lot of I was raised by my mama energy, bro. And I had the same thing when I was in my early 20s. You don't
Speaker A
get it yet, bro. You just don't get it yet. You don't understand what come with this man, this life of manhood. You don't get it yet, bro. You still got the fairy tale. Women are all all You still
Speaker A
got the Romeo and Juliet mentality. The women are all queens and you smoking a vape right now. I already know the type of [ __ ] you is.
Speaker A
You You can tell the type of [ __ ] I am because But listen to the things that you say and the fact that you're smoking a vape. Yeah. So, I'm not Okay. All right. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker A
I can tell. I appreciate you game. It's not even a disrespect. This is to give you the game. A lot of people don't are are not honest with y'all [ __ ] I'm being h
Speaker A
really really cutthroat with you. And it's not likely going to be with their words or their physicality. It's going to be the fact that they [ __ ] with somebody else. You already had the first one cheat on you and now the second one
Speaker A
exuding the same behavior. Do you think if you was Chris Brown, these women would have cheated on you or did anything against you?
Speaker A
I can't. But yes or no question, [ __ ] It's a yes or no question. Yes. No, they probably wouldn't. These same two women that you're speaking about, these same two women that you're speaking about probably would. Now, that's an extreme
Speaker A
example. Obviously, Chris Brown is another is is an extreme example. But the reason why I bring that up is is because you're not a valuable man enough yet to get a woman to not want to cheat on you. That's the point that I'm
Speaker A
making. You're not at the peak of your value. Do you know when a man's prime is?
Speaker A
When is a man's prime? Do you know? That's a problem. You don't even know when a man's prime is. If you could guess when do you think is a man's prime?
Speaker A
I say what? Like when he's It's a age. What's the When is it What is a man's prime? At like 35. Yes, it's 35. You're 22 now. Do the math, [ __ ] Well, gang, you have 13 years until you
Speaker A
Stop. You have 13 [ __ ] years before you hit your prime. Do you think men tend to women tend to date older men or younger men? Older men. Thank you. So, you not know where you need to be? Every woman that you
Speaker A
going to talk to right now, bro, has a better option than you. She's h she's she probably can attract a man that got more money than you, that look better than you, that's taller than you, that's more intelligent than you, that have
Speaker A
better things set up than you. They all can do better than you right now. If you compare your value to a woman at the same age that you are, she is [ __ ] on you. It's like LeBron James playing
Speaker A
basketball against a baby. [ __ ] women have women have intrinsic value when they're in their 20s. They're in the prime of their dating market. They're in the dating market prime right now.
Speaker A
You're not. So you're effectively what you're trying to do is you're trying to you're trying to take you not being a not having enough value to get a woman that's in the peak of her value and then expect her to operate how she's supposed
Speaker A
to operate. She's not going to. Especially with modern women, she's not going to. You have you have another 10 years before you you should even be looking for a wife. Now are there some men that can get it probably in their
Speaker A
early 20s? Yeah. But they have to have exceptional they have to have an extential amount of money. They have to have some extential type of type of mentality. They have to already have some things in place. You're not there
Speaker A
yet, bro. You're not there yet. Mentally, I can tell by the way that you speak, the stuff that you say. I can tell when you came up, you said, "Hey, gang." Like, I can just I can just hear
Speaker A
certain things. I can tell certain things by how you operate. You're not ready yet, bro. And that's probably why women are cheating on you.
Speaker A
Women cheat emotionally. Men Women don't usually cheat physically. We cheat. We cheat cuz we trying to get some [ __ ] Women cheat because I need a better [ __ ] So, you have to understand that. That's what I'm trying to tell you. You're not
Speaker A
ready to be dating women in a serious future wife looking way, bro. You're not. It's not the 1960s. If it was 1960s, it's different because that you could be 22, working a factory job right out of high school, be making enough
Speaker A
money to provide for you, your wife, and your kids. And your wife wanted to be women wanted to be a housewife. But now you're also in competition with these same women in the workforce. So, a lot of these women are that you come across
Speaker A
probably going to be doing better than you as well. You not where you need to be, bro. Bro, and you you ain't nowhere near on that trae trajectory of that yet. It take time. You trying to rush and force [ __ ]
Speaker A
You putting energy into a woman. You need to be taking the same energy you putting into women and dates and flowers and all that other [ __ ] and put that into yourself and your growth. And that's going to be you going to become a
Speaker A
better man first. And then you'll have the dating market at your disposal. And then you can do what you want to do. And then you can lock in and be serious with somebody. And then you'll know how to
Speaker A
move and operate with women. And then you'll know all the other things that you need to know.
Speaker A
You get what I'm saying now? Are you still like, "No, women are my mommy." I got you. I got you, bro.
Speaker A
All right. All right, I appreciate it, man. All right. He still got the pacifier in his mouth, man. He still got that that young [ __ ] You know, women are queens and I just, you know, as long as she loves me, I
Speaker A
love her. We're going to be together. No, [ __ ] She going to [ __ ] a [ __ ] like me.
Speaker A
I ain't [ __ ] get in there and cook. Okay. Whole time. You baby, I miss you.
Speaker A
Where are you? Whole time she getting clapped [ __ ] So just learn something. Especially living in this hyper sensitive society.
Speaker A
You say anything as a man. You a predator. You you you trying to harass somebody. If I be like, "Hey, how you doing sweetheart? What's going on?" A woman could say that I I sexually assaulted us. I see post on Twitter all
Speaker A
the time and they be like, "Just bought my first car." And they be in the comment like, "You bought that? It's a car. That [ __ ] bought a car." So when women speak on the type of dude that
Speaker A
they want, it's never an average guy. Women don't want an average guy. The average woman don't want the average man. The average woman wants the above average man. What's the deal, my boy?
Speaker A
What's going on? How you feeling? What's the deal, Brody? I had uh quick question to ask you. I just had one question and I'll get up out your hair. Yes, sir. Uh my reasons, but I want to know yours. I
Speaker A
just read something. Uh 9 months ago, they did a study and it said 45% of men 18 to 27 have never approached a woman in real life. Why do you think that is?
Speaker A
Social media. I think that's probably the biggest thing. um when you have conversations offline all the time, you you you start to think that that's the norm. So, you don't really know how to you don't really know how to talk to
Speaker A
people in person. You know what I'm saying? And I think a lot of people are just chronically online. Most people just at the house scrolling on their phone. It ain't like the 80s and the ' 90s where it was house parties where
Speaker A
it's house parties now, but it ain't safe. It ain't damn near like it's damn near it's damn sure not like what it was, you know, 30 years ago. So, just the interacting of real life is is is is
Speaker A
not there. So, it's going to make a lot of men just kind of be kind of, you know, weary about going up to women and just being outside in general. And that's also why women complain of like, well, why do why don't men approach
Speaker A
women no more? You know, all of that is mixed. And then you got to think about it, too. Like, especially living in this hyper sensitive ass society, you say anything as a man, you a predator. You you you trying to harass somebody. If I
Speaker A
be like, "Hey, how you doing, sweetheart? What's going on?" A woman could say that I I sexually assaulted her. She could say anything. It's she could just report it and I could be under that under the confines of that
Speaker A
just because somebody said something. We living in this type of society. So I think a lot of men just don't want to do that [ __ ] no more to be honest. N for sure. When I was looking at that study
Speaker A
though I was really surprised when you know I mean 18 I get but you know 20 18 through 27 that kind of you know surprised me a little bit cuz I mean growing up I didn't really have social
Speaker A
media like that. Not because I didn't you know I wasn't allowed to or anything like that. I just kind of was a slow grower to social media. But I never really had any issues, you know, with approaching a woman. But then again, I
Speaker A
don't have that issue. So, I was just kind of surprised at that statistic. Low key. I'm not really surprised to be honest. I'm not I I just I feel like it's probably it kind of correlates to just the new society we live in. To be
Speaker A
honest, I'm not too surprised. Yeah, for sure. I think uh if they would have said like 18 through I don't know 21 22 maybe 23 I would have believed that but I mean you get to the you know high 20s you
Speaker A
know 26 27 I'm like you know it's kind of crazy you got to think you got to understand too bro most women don't want most men now 30 40 years ago most men wouldn't have known that and what I mean
Speaker A
by that is men are able to see a lot of the stuff that women want on social media so when women speak on the type of dude that they want it's never an average guy. Women don't want an average
Speaker A
guy. The average woman don't want the average man. The average woman wants the above average man. And a lot of people seeing that [ __ ] at an early age. So most men are inade inadequate to what they actually want. So and our value is
Speaker A
not based on something that we born as. We got our value is based on stuff we got to go get. So when you a 24 year old dude and you know you only 5'8, even though that's the average height of a
Speaker A
man, for most women, they see 5'8 and be like, "Uh-uh." You know what I'm saying?
Speaker A
So you have to meet a certain aesthetic and you have to meet a certain upfront factor with most women. So, a lot of dudes just like, man, there ain't even no point. Which is it's still [ __ ] up
Speaker A
because as a man, you need to take accountability and get your [ __ ] together. That's number one. But I think we living in a very sensitive well, not I don't even want to say sensitive, but we living in a
Speaker A
society where everybody can see your peak. So, even when it come to not even just dating, but like even when it come to like people having a regular ass car, if you post like a regular ass car, people look at you like you crazy, like
Speaker A
you drive just a 2006 car, people will look at you like you crazy, like something is wrong with this car. Like it's it's it's I see post on Twitter all the time and they be like, "Just bought my first car." And it be [ __ ]
Speaker A
in the comment like, "You bought that [ __ ] It's a car. That [ __ ] bought a car, [ __ ] What you he just bought a car? What you mean? It don't matter if the [ __ ] is a Benz or
Speaker A
a Bentley. People only post a peak part of their life and that's only that's a whole another aspect of it too. No, nobody's really authentic. So when you always seeing a peak and then you know you don't know how to read that [ __ ]
Speaker A
it's going to put a fear in you to really be your authentic self and be real. Everybody got filters and [ __ ] and everybody want to be a [ __ ] celebrity and all that [ __ ] Ain't nothing really
Speaker A
genuine no more. And people shame authenticity. So that's kind of the world we live. You can't be regular. No.
Speaker A
Absolut absolutely. And to add on to your point, I do now realize that's probably why because a lot of dudes probably feel like, especially younger dudes, probably feel like they have to live up to a certain standard due to
Speaker A
what social media is showing us due to the fact that the people showing the highlights but never the low lightss and stuff like that. And they might feel like, oh, you know, they might be comparing themselves to that top tier,
Speaker A
whatever, you know, guy is out there, that above average man that you speak of. So, I can definitely see that. No, for sure. That's a fact.
Speaker A
Don't nobody else be coming up, bro, asking you questions. Hell yeah. They be coming up. You just You just You This your first day coming to my live, bro.
Speaker A
People be coming up on this [ __ ] all the time. Yeah, you're right. You're right. Yeah, you're right. Yeah. All right. All right. For sure. For shut up.
Speaker A
I need your advice. For sure. So um background story. So, I I know this little chick. She a bartender.
Speaker A
Uh, and she we've been known each other about a year and a half or so, stuff like that. Off and off, but she was in a relationship. So, she get out her relationship probably I want to say two
Speaker A
months ago, stuff like that. So, we started kicking it and know one thing led to another go. But she liked me too much. But I don't think that she ready to be with somebody like me. And I'm trying to
Speaker A
figure out before we even got to that point. I should have had told her like, "Shit, I ain't really looking for something, but I ain't told her yet." So, I don't know where you how long y'all been talking.
Speaker A
I've been doing before you and the head, but how long you been talking about? 2 months. Okay. So, why didn't you tell her when y'all first started talking that you wasn't looking for nothing serious?
Speaker A
I know why, but I want you to say why. I know why. I'm [ __ ] We know why. But I want you to say why.
Speaker A
Keep it on it. We [ __ ] We talking. Keep it on it. Come on. It ain't We [ __ ] Come on. Keep it on it. No, I didn't say why at the beginning. Because I like her cuz her personality. Cool.
Speaker A
But I don't want nothing long term. So you didn't tell her because you knew that it was going to take access from sex right?
Speaker A
The sex end, you know, I get a little a little uh caveat at the bar that should be at too. Yeah. So you get a little benefit. Get a little benefit. So now you in a situation to So what's your
Speaker A
like you in a situation to what? You feel like she too emotionally invested into this? I think so. Cuz uh I talked to her today. She was like, "Hey, I'm uh I really like you. You make me feel
Speaker A
safe." And I was like, "Damn, for real? [Laughter] And so, um, I don't want I don't want me telling her like, "Hey, that's not what I'm looking for." to diminish our what we had prior to us doing what we did, bro. And I
Speaker A
think that's where I [ __ ] up at. You [ __ ] up. Yeah, cuz you you [ __ ] up the game, bro. Respectfully, you [ __ ] up the game. And the reason why you [ __ ] up the game is because it's a
Speaker A
[ __ ] out there that view her as a possible girlfriend. You don't view her as a possible girlfriend. You understand the benefit that you get. You get stuff at the bar and you get stuff behind the bar, if you know what I mean. But you
Speaker A
[ __ ] up because you [ __ ] up the game because there's other men who actually want to be with her. And what you're doing is you're wasting her time.
Speaker A
And that's that you can't you can't do that. You got to be 100 up front. You can't waste no woman time because it's way too many women out here that you can actually be dealing with and that you
Speaker A
can tell, hey, look, I just want something for fun and they'll deal with you. But when you force it and you play with them, you [ __ ] up their time and then you [ __ ] up the next guy that's
Speaker A
going to deal with her because the next guy that's going to deal with her, that trauma that you put into her is now going to be on the next dude. Now he has to deal with her [ __ ] Whole time
Speaker A
you was lying to her. So that's why I mean like you [ __ ] up the game. So you can't do that. You should have kept it 100 up front. And to be honest, if your question is why do she or not why,
Speaker A
but your question or I guess your just your kind of thought process, she too emotionally invested. You can't blame her for being emotionally in invested, especially if you've been telling her all telling her what she want to hear
Speaker A
and you've been [ __ ] with her how you've been [ __ ] with her. You I mean, you really can't blame her.
Speaker A
That's a fact. I don't think we got to the point of a conversation like what are we? We never talked about it. We just been kicking it.
Speaker A
You know, it's getting to that point though. Yeah, it's getting there. And that's what that's what my my like when she said that uh last statement to me like, "I feel safe with you. I really like you." Stuff like that. I was like,
Speaker A
"Oh shit." You know, I should have been had this conversation prior. So, I mean, what are you thinking about doing now?
Speaker A
Um, so people wanted, I booked the ticket to like a gallery show out here.
Speaker A
And then I was going to chop it up with her while we walked through there and see where her head was. Ah, you can't do her like that. Oh man, that's even worse. You might as well just tell her on the phone or something.
Speaker A
You about to take her out and make her all [ __ ] happy and all the [ __ ] that she probably want to do and then you just going to drop it on her. I know she I know she a woman, but I feel like she
Speaker A
she she got that mentality and I don't know it's cuz she a bartender or whatever. Like she really understands like the game. Like she like, "Nigga, I I'm like, I'm gonna play this [ __ ] too." Like it it don't matter. If she
Speaker A
understood the game, no. Women don't really understand the game. If she understood the game, she wouldn't be [ __ ] with you.
Speaker A
Am I ly I'm not lying? If she understood the game, she wouldn't be [ __ ] with you. So, not she clearly she don't understand the game how she thinks she understand the game. I feel like a rebound. As soon as she left her, dude,
Speaker A
she started [ __ ] with me like a week later. Yeah. You might be, but at the end of the day, you still you still didn't give her keep it a bandwidth. So, regardless if you feel like a rebound or
Speaker A
not, most women, if she dealing with a new dude, you're probably better than the last guy cuz most women don't date down. Most women date up. So, your value is probably better than the last guy.
Speaker A
You probably look better than the last guy. You got more money than the last guy. Whatever that is, you are better than her last. That's the way she's viewing this. So, at the end of the day, regardless of whenever y'all started
Speaker A
talking, you still can't you still can't lead her to own though. You can't do that because that that really destroys the game though. You can't do that. So, my advice to you would be you going to have to let her
Speaker A
let her know what it is. But, [ __ ] don't take her to you. You that's like you you giving her blue balls at that point. That's like you you can't do that. That's like I just That's like you you take your kid
Speaker A
to you tell you you take you tell your kid you take them to a baseball game and then y'all they they put on they they they got their favorite mid on. They got the baseball team jersey on and all that.
Speaker A
They ready to go to the game and then y'all watch the game outside in the in y'all watch the game downstairs in the basement and the whole time they thought they was going to go to the game. They
Speaker A
thought they was going to be their first time experiencing going to a baseball game and y'all watching the game in the basement. you can't do that. And that's really going to [ __ ] her up and that's really going to put a stain on her. So,
Speaker A
I think that you should probably be better better off telling her in person, but not not through not not at the gallery. I wouldn't do that. I I honestly wouldn't do that. And if you going if you already booked the tickets
Speaker A
though, go to her. Go there with her, but don't don't drop the ball on her then. You going to have to wait until you get out. Wait until you like maybe like a week later or something and you
Speaker A
meet with her in person, but don't do it while you there. That's really going to tear her up.
Speaker A
For sure. For sure. So, but you got to keep it 100 with her though because if you don't you anything that come with that you gota you got to take accountability for that. You can't you can't you can't b you can't [ __ ]
Speaker A
with it. You can't I got you. I got you. All right. All right. I appreciate you coming up.
Speaker A
What's going on? Good afternoon. My name is Isaac. I'm um in Central Florida and I just wanted to run my situation by you. I actually haven't even told anybody yet because it literally just happened uh yesterday. Uh, so a little
Speaker A
bit about me. I'm 39 years old. I'll be You can hear me? Yeah, I can hear you.
Speaker A
Okay. I'm 39 years old. I'll be 40 in October. Um, I have two master's degrees. I served in Marines. Um, I make six figures. I know that doesn't mean anything. I'm just just telling you a little bit about myself. Um,
Speaker A
so my situation is I have been with someone going on four years, a beautiful woman. Um, and the relationship has had its ups and downs like like every other relationship, but we've been able to get past certain issues. And August of last year, August
Speaker A
7th of last year, I proposed to her at a resort called the Contemporary Resort at Disney in Orlando. She said yes. The entire restaurant clapped for us. It was really beautiful. I wasn't expecting that. I was just trying to propose and
Speaker A
just do my thing. I didn't expect all that to happen. So, since the engagement has happened, we wanted to be engaged for a year, see how the engagement goes, and then get married in the next two or three years, whatever it may be. Right?
Speaker A
So, here's the situation that was just basically kind of leading up to this point. So, I'm at her house. She's at work. She has a dog. I was getting ready to bring the dog to my house, but I was
Speaker A
letting it eat real fast. So, while the dog is eating, I said, "Oh, wait a second. I'm going to get some pictures off her computer." and then send them to my phone. That way, I have more pics because I don't really have that many.
Speaker A
So, let me do that real quick while I'm waiting on the dog to eat. So, while I'm getting pictures, all right, I got this picture from the beach. I got this picture when we're on date night. I got
Speaker A
this picture of her beautiful smile. And then you have an iPhone, right? Okay. So, we all know that when you have an iPhone, iPad, a Mac, everything is synced together. So, you can see the messages on the Mac, right? So, I'm
Speaker A
looking at her or I'm not looking at anything, but I hear ding ding ding and the iMessage goes off and I look at the eye messages and it's just a group chat from her work because she's in law
Speaker A
enforcement. So, I'm like, "Okay, that's cool." She usually has that group muted because they literally text all day. She doesn't want to hear it. So, I see her dad text her, her mom text her, her brother. I'm not being nosy. I'm just
Speaker A
noticing because I'm getting ready to close it out. And then I see a gentleman named Taurus that's texting her. I'm previous US Marines.
Speaker A
Taurus was in the Air Force. Okay. So why is Taurus Why does he have your phone number? He was supposed to be a guy that spots you every once in a while when you're doing squats at the gym, when you're doing
Speaker A
bench press. Why does he have your phone number? Okay. And then I'm seeing pictures of Taurus with his shirt off and she's saying, "Wow, you look great.
Speaker A
You look this and that." Because she's a powerlift and he lifts also. So I'm trying my best to be like, "Okay, maybe they're just being professional. Maybe maybe they're just they're just friends.
Speaker A
She's just critiquing." I'm I'm trying to be positive here, right? So then I I go down further and he's saying, "Uh, do you think I should come to the gym later? you going to be there so we can so we can like spot each other and
Speaker A
whatnot? No, I'm not there right now. Okay, that was that one day. Then the next day, he's texting her and he's saying, "How was your day?" Why is he feeling comfortable enough to ask you about your day? I thought he was
Speaker A
married. Where's your wife? Then this is the climax of what took place. It's when my heart began to beat fast. This when I almost lost my mind.
Speaker A
He's texting her and he's saying, "What did you do today?" She says, "Um, I didn't do anything. Just took a nap.
Speaker A
Just kind of chilled out. Layback day." No, you didn't. We're in Florida in Orlando. There's a place called Gatorland Theme Park where you can go see alligators and wildlife. You were there with me today.
Speaker A
Why is he texting you at 8:00 at night asking how was your day? Then he says, "I'm getting ready to get off work. I'm curious if you're free to hang out.
Speaker A
Why is this man texting you 8:00 at night? I thought he had a wife. Does he even know you have a boyfriend, fiance, or soon to be husband? If he does, he's disrespecting me. If he's not, then a
Speaker A
man's going to be a man. If you're going to open that door, then he's going to go in, right? So, that's not his fault. if she never told him about me. However, if he knows about me, then that's messed up
Speaker A
on him. But like somebody in the comments said, they could also just have good rapport. But why is he texting my girl at 8:00 at night?
Speaker A
Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Yes, sir. Yes, sir. I appreciate you you listening. Go ahead. For sure. What was your response when this happened?
Speaker A
My heart started beating fast. Mhm. I got a little I got a little upset. Uh, it was it was 10:00 a.m. when I went to get the dog to bring her to my house.
Speaker A
So, I knew she was at work because, like I said, she works in law enforcement.
Speaker A
So, I didn't want to call her on the phone and blast her and, you know, have her with that on her mind. So, I got home, I tried to calm down. I tried to relax, but I just had a million thoughts
Speaker A
going through my head. Everything that was going through my head is how many other pics has he sent? How many pics have you sent him? How many of these conversations has he had? So, what was your reaction? What was your reaction
Speaker A
towards her? My reaction towards her was, "Why were you comfortable enough to give him your phone number? Why is he comfortable enough to text you this time at night?
Speaker A
Why does he not know that you're with someone?" And this was a conversation that y'all had. Oh, y you have Okay. So, so I'm getting to that point. So, I called her very calm. I'm grown. I'm not trying to freak out or nothing. Okay.
Speaker A
So, I said, "Honey, um, who's this guy that you're talking to? Um, I went to get sushi from your house.
Speaker A
I was about to bring sushi back to my house and then I was getting pictures off your computer, not going through your stuff. Then I heard iMessage go off. The guy sending you pictures with his shirt off. The guy is, you know,
Speaker A
texting you 8 o'clock at night saying, "Do you want to hang out?" And then she says, "Oh yeah, that's the guy I've been telling you about. His name is Taurus.
Speaker A
He's previous Air Force. He has a wife. He said that my wife sees all of our texts. She knows who I am." So wait, does his wife know he's texting you 8 o'clock at night asking you to hang out?
Speaker A
Okay. So So where are y'all but I understand all the details, but where are y'all at now? Because you said this just happened. So once once you once you asked her about it and her response, what was like where are y'all at now?
Speaker A
What was the the end of this conversation? So the conversation was basically, I'm sorry that this took place. I understand that you're upset. I understand that it can make you feel this way, but I promise nothing's happening between us. He's just a
Speaker A
friend. That's it. Um, and then I said, "Okay, the conversation's over with." And then we hung up. And then I began to get pissed off again because I got thoughts running through my head like, "Why is she comfortable enough to get
Speaker A
her phone?" So that's the So that's the last time that y'all spoke. Correct. Uh, no. We said a couple things after that because we both got a little upset. I got a little angry. She got a little angry, but what upset me was instead of
Speaker A
her validating my feelings and taking accountability, which she did on the phone because she apologized and whatnot, but then later when I brought it up again, then it turns into this.
Speaker A
Well, I understand that you're upset about what I did, but what about the girl that you used to talk to? What about the girls you were flirting with on Instagram? Okay, I understand that, but that was two years ago. We're
Speaker A
talking about this right now. Okay, listen. Listen. First of all, where why how old are you? I'm 39, bro. How old is she? She is 27.
Speaker A
Okay. Why do you think it's okay for your fiance or any woman connected to you any type of romant romanticized way that's serious to have a male friend to begin with? Thank you. That's number one. Number two, no. Hold on, hold on,
Speaker A
hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. Yes, sir. I'm ask I'm asking you. Yes, sir.
Speaker A
Why do you feel like that is okay? Why do you even think that is a green light for your woman to have male friends, people connected to her? I don't care if it's the gym. I don't care if it's just,
Speaker A
oh, that's just the guy. I'm just [ __ ] all of that. You a man. Your woman don't need to be around no other man. I understand that whatsoever. And like I said, I didn't even know that they were
Speaker A
friends like that. I thought he was spotting her at the jail. It doesn't matter. You as a man, you supposed to know. So this is where you [ __ ] up at. You supposed to know cuz you're supposed to be a leader, right? I
Speaker A
understand. You have to take accountability not only for that, but you need to take accountability for the woman that you chose because at the end of the day, if that's your woman, she's supposed to tell you. You shouldn't even
Speaker A
have to go out of your way to even figure out what she's supposed to tell you. So, a man that's just spotting her at the gym, you a man. You know how men are. You know, you know that man want to
Speaker A
[ __ ] your woman. Absolutely. You know that. So, it got to get to a certain point as a man where you start to be like, "This [ __ ] can't fly." And that needs to be a foundation that you set up
Speaker A
front. See, now it's going to be hard harder for you to set damn foundation now because she's so used to what she's used to. You not really caring or not really giving her too many boundaries.
Speaker A
This is why you have to give a woman boundaries up front and let her know what the [ __ ] it is. You know what I'm saying? It's like you giving somebody leeway and then it's like, "Okay, I
Speaker A
don't like it. You doing too much." Now you want to flip the script and be like, "Uh, I don't like that." No, it's kind of it's kind of it's going to be a little bit kind of too hard for that to
Speaker A
even for that to even fly. So, that's something that you should have kind of been already setting up up front.
Speaker A
There's no reason why no man should be connected to your lady, bro. At all.
Speaker A
Right. Right. Right. Whatsoever. That's not connected to her by kin by by by f Yeah. by family or blood or anything like that outside of that. It ain't no [ __ ] connection because everything that she get outside from any type of
Speaker A
masculine energy should be from you right now. Let me ask you a question. Do you feel like I overreacted?
Speaker A
I I I feel like I mean you went Okay. You You was You was on a laptop. You was on a laptop. you text her about it. I feel like me personally, I'm not I'm not about to call no woman
Speaker A
and be like, "Why are you doing any of this? It's over with." But that's just that's just how I am. I'm not about to sit on the phone and do all this explaining and all that. It's it's dead
Speaker A
with me. You know what I'm saying? So, I don't feel like you overreacted or underreacted. I feel like you reacted how most men will react, honestly.
Speaker A
Right. Right. Let me ask you a question. You said that you do y'all live together? Uh, we were actually about to uh become roommates March of last year.
Speaker A
Become who? Become roommates. Not not roommates, but I mean live together because she had her apartment. I had my place. We were going to move in together. I didn't mean to say roommates, but we were going to live
Speaker A
together in the same place, but she ended up buying her own place and I have my own place. Let me let me let me ask you this. Let's say I didn't mean to say roommate everyone. I apologize. I meant
Speaker A
she was going to move in with me. Okay. Given the circumstances of let's just put it in a hypothetical that y'all do live together. Who's do you are you are you are y'all do you kind of you want to
Speaker A
split the bills 50/50 or how does this how is this relationship dynamic gonna work? I mean as far as bills I would have basically paid everything. I pay the mortgage. I pay the car payment the car insurance. All she has to pay is her
Speaker A
cell phone bill. Pay the light bill and just help me have groceries on the refrigerator. That's pretty much it. So not 5050. No, because I I make, you know, substantially more money than her.
Speaker A
Just help me keep food in the refrigerator, pay the light bill, pay the cell phone. Okay. My Okay. So, the thing is, bro, I can already tell, and it's no disrespect to you, but you seem like a nice guy, right? And that's
Speaker A
not to say that you you a [ __ ] That's not to say that you can't fight. That's not to say that's not to belittle you as a man. That's to I I get the energy that you're a nice guy. You you you you mean
Speaker A
too well, unfortunately. Well, here's another thing, too. Because we had issues in the past, I took therapy for a year and two months because I wanted to be better for the relationship because previously I was a little aggressive and
Speaker A
I was a little I don't want to say angry a-hole, but a little snappy. So, we had some issues where when she wasn't when she wasn't going when she wasn't working out with other men. Huh. When she wasn't
Speaker A
getting picture. Goddamn right. Yeah. So, you kind of see how that go, right? Right. Right. I'm not saying you got to disrespect your lady, but I mean I say all the time, you got to be 70% [ __ ]
Speaker A
30% nice guy. And it seemed like you flipped on the other way around. Right.
Speaker A
Right. Right. Yeah. So, I don't think this me personally, you can do what you want to do, but I'm going to tell you this. I don't think the dynamic going to work because I feel like you you did not
Speaker A
set the foundation that you were supposed to set as a man and let [ __ ] be clear and uncut. And now your woman feels she has way too much leverage to be stepping out of the relationship. Let
Speaker A
me ask you a question. Do you think if you was Chris Brown, your woman would be having other guys sending her pictures and connecting with them and texting them and having conversations? Hell no.
Speaker A
So that tells you everything you need to know. Your woman don't respect you because you don't respect yourself because you don't put enough upfront boundaries on her to let her know what the [ __ ] it is. She don't respect you,
Speaker A
bro. Right. Right. Right. So, what you going to end up doing is you going to end up being stuck into a situation where she's going to cheat on you, where she's going to step out, where she's going to be given other attention to
Speaker A
from other men, and you going to be on the one that's going to take the brunt end. You going to take the the the blunt end of the stick. Right. Right. So, if I was you, I wouldn't continue that
Speaker A
situation to be honest. I would completely dead that [ __ ] Um, it's going to hurt. Your feelings going to be [ __ ] up, but I would completely dead that [ __ ] I get it. Yeah. It's just God
Speaker A
dang, it's been four years. So much time and effort that I put into this, bro.
Speaker A
brought a three car ring that was 35,000, bro. So, I know that's a lot to some people, but [ __ ] to me, it's a lot.
Speaker A
You know what I mean? So, that's life. At the end of the day, would you rather leave that [ __ ] now or I mean, this is this is a part of this is the part of the how you why you need to set
Speaker A
boundaries in front. This is why you need to vet a woman properly. Right. Right. Right. When you was vetting her, let me ask you this. What questions did you ask her as far as longevity? I just asked her when we first begin the date.
Speaker A
First of all, what got my attention is uh we were in the gym working out together uh because I was competing for the show and she was dealing with physical therapy and we were both uh getting our degrees. I was getting my
Speaker A
second master's degree. She was getting her first master's degree. She's a business owner. Uh she makes about well I don't want to say what she makes, but she does pretty well for her age. And I like the fact that she was ambitious. I
Speaker A
like the fact that she had a good head on her shoulder. I like the fact that she came from a family that was What question? What questions? What questions did you ask her as far as longevity? I understand all that and that's great.
Speaker A
What questions did you ask her as far as longevity? What vetting questions did you ask her? Did you put her through? I asked her what she wants in a man. I asked her what are some things that she
Speaker A
requires in a relationship. I asked her is God a big uh thing in her relationship as far as her seeking him and having a relationship with him. I asked her how does she feel about men being unfaithful? How does she feel
Speaker A
about faithful men? I asked her does she want children? I asked her what does it mean to you to be a wife? I answer all types of things before we begin to uh become an actual idol. The only one out
Speaker A
of that that I heard that was the most mentally challenging one, the one that's really going to put her up under some type of frame is the last one. What do you think it means to be a wife? What
Speaker A
was her answer? Say again. What was her answer to that last question? What do you what does it mean to you to be a wife? What was her answer? She said uh for for her she said for me uh when it comes to being a wife
Speaker A
it means to be faithful to be patient uh to be there for your person uh through thick and thin not just run away once things get hard cuz her parents have been together for about 30 years. My parents have been together for about 45
Speaker A
years. So I'm thinking that you know there's a bit of maturity there and past the age and whatnot. You know what I mean?
Speaker A
And I know that's the thing too. A lot of people in the comments were saying, "He's a weirdo. Why was he dating someone so young?" But to me, it wasn't about the age. [ __ ] them comments. [ __ ]
Speaker A
them comments. But me and you talking, [ __ ] them comments. Was 24 years old dating a 37 year old. You know what I mean? [ __ ] them comments. The The thing is, I think it's it's a lot more
Speaker A
challenging questions that you could have asked her. Bro, I give men I I give a lot of men game when it comes to this [ __ ] When you courting any woman, these are the questions that you should have
Speaker A
asked her up front. I'mma give you I'mma give you a couple of them. If me and you both have a disagreement and there's no compromise, somebody has to defer to who? Who defers to who?
Speaker A
There is no compromise. It's your husband and you. Who defers to who? That's a question that you ask. And if she don't know how to answer the question and she fumbling and she stuttering her words and [ __ ] you know
Speaker A
that's not a woman of marriage material because any woman you supposed to submit to your husband. That's not to say if you say jump off a bridge, she supposed to just do it. Now obviously nothing that's crazy like that, but at the end
Speaker A
of the day, a woman is supposed to submit. Right. Right? So that question should be deferred to you. That that decision should be deferred to you.
Speaker A
Right? The next question is if anything anytime a woman answer that question, it should just be to submit and nurture as far as the whole what it would mean to be a wife. It should just be to submit
Speaker A
and nurture. And then you need to ask her what's more important to you, your children, your career, your life, or your husband? That's the question that you ask because it can you can make anything sound good when you just say,
Speaker A
"Oh, what does it mean to be a wife?" And she can she can muster that [ __ ] up.
Speaker A
those things, those questions that a little bit more like a stickler and she really has to be able to answer those questions correctly and a lot of modern women can't. Like, you got to put her through that. You know what I'm saying?
Speaker A
You got to put her through that [ __ ] because if you don't, you going to end up in a situation that you in now.
Speaker A
Right. Right. So, I I think that you kind of [ __ ] up with not being a little bit harsher up front, to be honest. And now she feels like she can replace you.
Speaker A
That's why she got [ __ ] sending sending her six-pack pictures and workout pictures and [ __ ] He be getting behind he getting behind her in squats and helping her push-up and [ __ ] because she don't respect you, bro. Or maybe she
Speaker A
don't respect you enough. She feel like you replaceable. She feel like she can do better. Women are always going to keep their options open when they feel like they can do better. You have to be mysterious. You have to be the one that
Speaker A
is going to be the most the most the most the most impactful one in her life.
Speaker A
And if you're not, she always gonna step out, bro. Right. Right. Right. I couldn't believe that, bro. I'm looking at pictures of this guy with his shirt off and whatnot. I got my first pro pro bodybuilding show coming up in August.
Speaker A
You're not asking me for no damn pitch. You know, I I gota I'm not begging her, but I have to pull her aside and, you know, tell her, "Honey, out of seven days a week, why aren't you touching me
Speaker A
like, you know, two or three days a week? I know we're not going to have sex seven days a week. You're tired. Life happens and whatnot. Why do I have to pull you aside and have these conversations? I mean, we both can't
Speaker A
initiate and whatnot, but like why I feel like I Why is this an issue?" You know what I mean? because she don't because again she she feels like she can do better. That's the only reason why she was even getting
Speaker A
any other man attention, bro. So, I don't think that that's a marriageable woman. And you gonna [ __ ] yourself up.
Speaker A
And I understand how much you say you spent in the ring. 3500 or 35k? 35,000.
Speaker A
$35,000. That is you. Like somebody said in the comments, the divorce is going to cost way more than that $35,000. Right.
Speaker A
Right. So, you save yourself. Now, how old are you? You said you 39, 37. I'm 39. You 40 October 10. You 39. You still got time. You ain't got a lot of time, but you still got time to figure this
Speaker A
[ __ ] out. I would completely dead that relationship if I was you. Right. Right.
Speaker A
Right. Don't think that [ __ ] going to change. Don't think Don't I'm telling you, save yourself now, bro. Save yourself now. I'm telling you, she's 27.
Speaker A
And a lot of women that's in their 20s, a lot of them always think it's something better out there because they on social media, they listening to their friends, they going to the gym and having guys spot them and [ __ ] Right.
Speaker A
Right. Texting them pictures and [ __ ] I'm telling you, save yourself now, my boy. Right. I appreciate it, my brother.
Speaker A
Like I said, I haven't talked to anybody about this yet. I I just came on your live and I seen dating advice and whatnot. I really appreciate that. And the And I appreciate that. Last thing I'm going to leave you with, bro, it's
Speaker A
all about accountability. You have to take accountability because you set the foundation for this. A woman only going to do what you set the foundation for.
Speaker A
You set the foundation for this. So, she's operating exactly on how she sees and views you. This is why you need to be real and and and and upfront, truthful, and just keep that [ __ ] real blunt and to the point. Women respect
Speaker A
men that stand on their 10. Not that I'm not saying you scary. I'm not saying none of that [ __ ] But I think you a little bit too nice. And I think that's the issue that you going to have with
Speaker A
not only her, but women in the future. You need to change yourself. And and that's the crazy thing because prior to freaking therapy, I don't want to say I was an a-hole cursing hoes out and whatnot, but I was a little different.
Speaker A
Now I'm way more calm. Now I'm way more relaxed. now way more reserved and whatnot. And look what the hell happened. I went to therapy to try to be better for myself and also the relationship and the future of our
Speaker A
relationship. And now look, you know what I mean? It's like I need to resort back to who I was. Not necessarily. I don't think the therapy I don't think it's it's necessarily that. That's good that you went to therapy. That's good
Speaker A
that you become a better man. But when I say when I when I'm saying what I'm saying, I'm not saying walk around and be like, "Fuck you, [ __ ] Suck my dick." I'm not saying that. You don't
Speaker A
have to do that. That's disrespectful. that's going out of their way to just hurt somebody. What I'm saying is you need to be stern and you need to have a boundary. You being calm and you being a little bit more reserved and being more
Speaker A
respectful, that has nothing to do with you not you can be calm and be reserved and everything that that therapy can help you, but at the end of the day, that does not mean forego your masculine role. That's what I'm trying to say.
Speaker A
Right. Right. Right. I get it. Don't succumb to the emotion because at that point, you you've lost and a woman is not going to respect you. Right. Right.
Speaker A
That's it. I appreciate your time, my brother. I'm going to follow you and I'll continue on uh tuning in with your live and whatnot. Thank you so much.
Speaker A
What's up? I appreciate you coming up. Talk to you. Yes, sir. Yeah. So, I was with this girl uh for about three years and uh she was she always had trouble uh letting go of her exes and she's always lied to me. She
Speaker A
had a dude in Paris. I'm in New York. She had a dude in Paris and I was always distracted by him and I was like, "All right, whatever. He's in Paris. You know what I mean? you guys have an emotional
Speaker A
connection. I'm not cool with it. And um I always got distracted, but there was always a dude over here in New York, her first ever exit, and she was sleeping around with him. I saw the me I went
Speaker A
through her laptop and I saw messages uh in September that they were like, you know, sleeping around when I first met her, 2022. But then uh you know, she she left me. She she she blocked me on everything. And then a month later,
Speaker A
she's like, "I regret it. You know, I uh it was a mistake." And then uh I kind of took her back. And this was around uh October of last year. And uh yeah, since then it was just toxic. Like she would
Speaker A
she was just like just be like, "Oh, because of you, I stopped talking, man." And I was like, "What are you talking about? Didn't you just say it was a mistake?" And then uh recently like five days ago um she I kept bringing it up
Speaker A
obviously you know I'm not over it. So I I was just like oh you know did you did you sleep with him? She was just like no I didn't. I was like if you tell me you did I'll stop talking to you. And then
Speaker A
uh she she she's like yeah I did five ten times. But then she said it in a way where she's like you know I might be lying but you know just you just want to hear that I suck. And then I I kind of
Speaker A
grabbed her in a in a soft way. It wasn't aggressive, you know, at all. And then she was just like, "Oh, you put your hands on me." She was She got aggressive. She started beating me up and she blocked me right after that.
Speaker A
How old are you, bro? I'm 28. She's 26. 28? Yeah. How old is she? 26.
Speaker A
What's wrong with you? Who raised you? Respectfully, though, my parents Yes. Where your Where your family from? uh from North India. They don't take that [ __ ] Okay. So that's Okay. So yeah.
Speaker A
Okay. Look, look, my dude. It's me. No, I keep going. I'm about to be I'm gonna be all the way 100 with you. And you don't take none of this [ __ ] personally.
Speaker A
If you do, that's on you. You a pimp, [ __ ] Yeah. Yeah. Like a major major simp. First, number one, why are you okay with a girl that you just met having an emotional connection with another man and you're still like, "Oh,
Speaker A
it's all good." And then when she has sex with this dude and messes with this dude, you let her manipulate you into calling that [ __ ] a mistake. That's not a [ __ ] mistake.
Speaker A
A mistake is like, "Oh man, I dropped my phone. Oh, I I I I accidentally grabbed your charger instead of my charger." That's a mistake because it's an honest thing that you just didn't mean to do.
Speaker A
She deliberately meant to have sex with somebody else, bro, and you took her back. So, you can't be mad at Let me Let me finish. You can't be mad at her for nothing. You're the problem. She kept denying. I I I don't care what she kept
Speaker A
denying. You accepted it though. You already saw the red flags from the jump, my [ __ ] Yeah. So, you kept taking that woman back. Anything that come with that is on you. You a man, bro. Women don't
Speaker A
cheat for for for quantity. Women cheat for quality. So, something about you that she's probably not [ __ ] with.
Speaker A
And you a simp for taking her back. So, she don't respect you. That's why she stepped out on your ass because you took her ass back. Women don't respect men that they can walk all over and do anything and you ain't going to really
Speaker A
do nothing. Of course, you're going to get some outside dick. So, you was dealing with this [ __ ] for years, bro. You was just the dude that's just the fallway guy. You ain't really doing what she need what she needed you
Speaker A
to do. But you shouldn't even have done it from the jump because she already showed you the type of woman that she was. You're a simp. Men like you fail, bro. Y'all are going to fail if you got
Speaker A
that same ass mentality, my guy. You got to get out of that mentality. You got to start being a man, right?
Speaker A
like you let your like this whole male friend stuff. Like you can't let your like there's no male friends, bro. No man wants to be your girl. That's what that's the thing. I I didn't allow it and she she went behind my back and
Speaker A
until like I found out the truth. That's when I confronted her and that was but no no no she but you saw the red flags up front. You still dealt with it. Well, she she kept lying to me saying no, I'm
Speaker A
not talking to him. I'm not talking to him. She just when since I found out that's when she started saying, "Oh yeah, you know, I can't let him go." But that was eight months ago. So I'd say it's all But they were friends when
Speaker A
y'all started talking. Correct. Uh no, they were never friends. They always told She always told me that nah, you know, we're we're not we're not together. So what Okay. No, no. When y'all first started talking, what was that situation y'all first started
Speaker A
talking? What's the stuff that you noticed? What was that? Uh what I noticed was she was perfect. She was perfect. like it was just uh she never she never uh she just wanted attention.
Speaker A
So the thing is my pops had a heart transplant early on when I met her. So I was always in the hospital, you know, taking care of my pops and every time I would go there, she would just be all up
Speaker A
on me. So I never even knew that she was sleeping around with the other What?
Speaker A
What? What you mean she was perfect? But like that's such a um as in like [ __ ] was perfect, bro. Like that's such a simpy ass like come on my dude. You whing, bro. You too old to be talking
Speaker A
like this. I used to talk like that when I was like 15, 16 now. Not from I'm from American. I'm American. What state? What state? I'm from Cleveland. Okay. But I didn't traveled all over the country.
Speaker A
I've left the country a couple times. I'm I have traveled all all over the country. I feel I got family in Detroit.
Speaker A
So, it's nearby, bro. Nice guys like you are always going to get destroyed, bro.
Speaker A
And you gonna continue to get your heart broken. You got to get out of that, bro.
Speaker A
Okay. man. And uh what's the first step? Just not obviously not being as simple, having some selfrespect. You don't respect yourself. That's why you let stuff fly. You feel like that you going to miss out on something because you
Speaker A
accept certain things in women and then you give them the benefit of the doubt, but you don't let that thing be something that you're honing in on. I'm not saying that every like no woman is going to have a flaw, but clear flaws,
Speaker A
especially when it comes to other men and infidelity and promis promiscuity and anything like that. Like that [ __ ] has to be checked. That that [ __ ] needs to be nipped in the butt. And if you
Speaker A
talk to talking to a woman and you see that behavior, completely move away. Don't ever go back into there because you're going to always get the short end of the stick. She's going to suck somebody else's balls. That's what she
Speaker A
going to do whole time and then come back to you and keep shooting them off. Wow. As [ __ ] up as it sound, that's what a lot of women do. They don't respect guys like you, bro. Women say they like nice guys.
Speaker A
All the flowers and oh, you're such like honey bunches of oats, my cream puff saying that [ __ ] and they go [ __ ] a [ __ ] that's going to be like, "Girl, get your ass over here and get down
Speaker A
stairs and go cook." That's the [ __ ] that they want. They don't want that nice guy [ __ ] You have to be 70% [ __ ] with women. 30% nice guy, 70% [ __ ] And really that 30% of a nice
Speaker A
guy ain't even a nice guy. That's just a man that's gonna got to kind of, you know, just kind of chill a little bit.
Speaker A
Yeah. I was like that in the beginning. That's why she was on a B. And then I I don't believe you. I don't believe you.
Speaker A
I don't believe that. You probably thought she was. You obsessed with me. The in the beginning I wasn't even giving her attention, you know. And later on that's when I was just like because she she was just emotionally
Speaker A
manipulated like oh, you know, I'm I'm alone. kind of speak closer to your phone. Yeah. She was just like, "Oh, I'm lonely. You know, you don't spend time with me." Uh, you know, uh, and that's that's when I started spending more time
Speaker A
with her. In the beginning, I I never showed her like that much attention. You know what I mean?
Speaker A
I know what you mean, but I don't think that you was Excuse me. I don't think that you was doing what you were supposed to do, right? What is your betting process with women? like what what is your like let me hear like your
Speaker A
top three things that you top let me give me your top five things. You don't have to give a description. Just give me like five things that when you talk to a woman these are things that are like
Speaker A
deal breakers of stuff that you are like focusing in on. I just I just want to hear like where you at as in like one of the red flags like red flags the stuff that you like it could be red flags and
Speaker A
I want you to give me give me a mix hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on.
Speaker A
Okay. Yeah. Yeah. My fault. Give me a mix of red flags and deal breakers and a mix of just positive stuff that you want to see out of a woman. Just give me a five. Five negative things that I don't
Speaker A
like probably like u obviously guy friendss. Um going out every weekend um girls trips. Um what's another one? Um not answering back. you know, when I when I hit her up, she should be answering my phone all the time. Uh
Speaker A
what's uh the stuff I do like, you know, I like just my my girl being all about me, you know what I mean? Loyalties, respect, uh not talking back, telling, you know, um if I say something, but cheating is but
Speaker A
cheating and you taking her back is okay. Yeah. I didn't know she cheated. I saw the messages and the messages were just like, you know, uh just like, "Oh, what are you doing?" You know, [ __ ] like
Speaker A
that. That's obviously cheating. Lying and deceiving. That's what I told her. Like lying and deceiving is cheating. It doesn't have to be physical. At the point no, you said No, no, no. You said that you she did something and you took
Speaker A
her back. Yeah. She she was uh talking to her exes. Yeah. Yeah. Was said she said she couldn't get over her exes. You said that that was something and you took her back right?
Speaker A
Uh, in a way, yes. In a in a way you took her back. Yeah, I took her back.
Speaker A
Yeah. Okay. So, that's you took her back. So, that all of that and but cheating is where you don't draw the line. That's what I don't understand. So, like the number one thing that a woman can do to wave the white flag to the
Speaker A
relationship. You like that wasn't enough for you. So, I don't even think that I don't even really think that you really hone in and you really like set on your standards and you stand your 10 on your standards, bro. I think that's
Speaker A
why you keep or not you keep but I think that's why you was having that situation. You got to really you got to really understand your value as a man and your value is not what you say it
Speaker A
is. Your value was is what you can retain in the dating market. So I think you need to understand where that's at.
Speaker A
And if it is somewhere where you can retain those standards, you need to stand on it and but getting cheated on, bro, like and taking her back and all that [ __ ] bro. any woman dealing with any man in any type of capacity, bro,
Speaker A
when she [ __ ] with you that's outside of work or uh somebody that's kin to her, like family, red flag. Let that [ __ ] leave her alone, my guy. Okay, she did me a favor, I guess, too. She
Speaker A
did you a favor. She blocked you, so that's good. Now, what is you going to do now that you got blocked? What's your next step? U working on myself. I've been hitting the gym every day. I I fell
Speaker A
off from uh you know not from just being around her all the time. That's probably why she cheated on your ass. Not to say that you just got lazy or got fat. I'm saying you can't fall out of line with
Speaker A
the stuff that you did that made you attractive in the first place. And a lot of men do that. You can't Yeah. You can't let a woman lead the relationship.
Speaker A
And that's what happens when you let a woman lead the relationship. You stop working out as much because she wants you to stay. you stop working and getting your money as much because she wants to watch movies and she want to
Speaker A
cuddle and she want to go on dates and she want Valentine's Day and she want birthday stuff and she want flower wing.
Speaker A
All of that is fine, but you need to make sure that she is not your number one priority. Your number one priority needs to be God. I don't know if you're religious, but it needs to be something that you that you believe in that's
Speaker A
hurting yourself. The second thing is it needs to be your health, getting to the gym, your mental health. The third thing needs to be your finances because you ain't going to be able to keep no woman unless if you both. And then she will
Speaker A
come after like the the the the really the fourth or the fifth thing. And you cannot let her take you out of that because as much as women want more attention and more time and more this and more that, that is going to destroy
Speaker A
the relationship because now you're not doing the stuff that made you attractive from the jump, right? You have to stay on it. Women like men that are hardworking and assertive and handling this business and responsible and go to
Speaker A
the gym and have something outside of them. But when you listen to them and let them bleed and oh, can you stay home today? Can we cuddle all day for the next five hours and [ __ ] Women do [ __ ]
Speaker A
like that. We don't have time for that [ __ ] That [ __ ] needs to be pushed to the back burner. I can't cuz I got [ __ ] to do.
Speaker A
So, you need to make sure you run in the beginning and you got to stay. If anything, when you get a woman, you got to work harder to keep her. So, everything that she was doing before needs to now [ __ ] be
Speaker A
doubled because she she got your time and attention out. Yeah. And then that's when she was like, "All right, if you're not giving me attention, I'm I'mma go with someone else." And that's when I started was like, "All right." That was
Speaker A
a first. She went out on a date. She said, "If you if you not giving me attention, she going for somebody else." Yeah. You should have told her to eat a [ __ ] dick.
Speaker A
That was my issue. That should have ended right there. You never chase a woman, bro. Don't ever do that, bro.
Speaker A
Ever. Yeah. Especially a woman that's giving you an ultimatum. like you either need to talk to me more or I'm leaving and going to another guy. Any woman that even threatened to go to another guy, she probably already dealing with another
Speaker A
guy, right? So, and that's what I found out she do, you know? Yeah. So, every time say like in the situation I'm in right now, I I kind of put my I didn't put my hands on her. I just grabbed her.
Speaker A
I'm like, "Are you dead ass or you really you really slept with him?" And then right away she's like, "You're abusive." All this [ __ ] I know I should have never put my hands on her, but every time I do that, like she blocks me
Speaker A
for a month and then she calls me. She's like, "I hate you. I hate you." You know what I mean? Well, that's what respectfully, not even respectfully. I'm not trying to disrespect you, but that's what simps do. Simps get mad and you
Speaker A
cheating on me, you [ __ ] [ __ ] That's what simps do. Yeah. [ __ ] you, [ __ ] I How dare you, you shaker and [ __ ] That's what simp [ __ ] do. S put
Speaker A
their hands on women. I ain't never put a hands hand on my woman. I ain't never laid a finger on a woman in any type of aggressive manner. Okay. Ever.
Speaker A
Ss become emotional. Ss are guys that do that. You get mad and want to fight her and want to grab her and want to reactive. Be reactive and [ __ ] But a man, an alpha, oh, you want to? Oh, go
Speaker A
ahead. All right, that's cool. Just know we can't be together no more. Go ahead.
Speaker A
Get your [ __ ] Get the [ __ ] on. That's what alpha do. You ain't raising your voice. You're not screaming and yelling.
Speaker A
You're not doing all that extra [ __ ] You keeping it real calm, cool, and collected. And that is really what's going to get her to be like, "Damn, I [ __ ] up." Because now she got a reason
Speaker A
to blame you. She cheated on you. But you grabbed her and you know women like the women over report anyway. So she can label that as abuse. Yeah. But even if she does that now she has a reason to
Speaker A
not feel guilty or now she feels justified on what she did. Oh I cheated on him but when I when he found out he like he grabbed me on my shoulder so like yeah he's abusive. So now she has a
Speaker A
justification off for cheating on you. She don't even feel bad about it now. Right. So you can't be that simple. You have to keep you have to be that's called stoicism bro. You got to be sto you got to have stoicism at all times.
Speaker A
When something is negative going on, you got to keep your mental up. You can't never spazz out or be overreaction. You can't operate like women. That's how women operate. Men men we don't do that.
Speaker A
100%. Yeah. So, but you you kind of too old to be I mean it's never too late, but you should already be well past like this [ __ ] You supposed to learn in your early 20s, but I mean I did and then I
Speaker A
[ __ ] up. I fell back into it. Can't do that. And I done been there before. So, I'm not I'm not trying to like denigrate you, but I'm trying to be real with you so you can understand like [ __ ]
Speaker A
you can't do that. You got to stand on your business as a man. You got to keep that [ __ ] all across the board. And that's the only thing women respect.
Speaker A
Yeah. She's like, "I'm tired of uh dating [ __ ] boys. I think I'm going to go back to my ex in Paris. You know, he's a nice guy. I'm I'm turning 27." That's the conversation she had with me.
Speaker A
You know what I mean? What? Yeah. She don't respect. She would have never had that conversation with me. I'll tell you that. I know. I see you. Cuz I would have let them I would have I would have
Speaker A
set the [ __ ] foundation up front. So I would let her ass know. And she wouldn't even No woman would even ever think to be like, "Hey, just let you know you're not giving me enough attention." And I could just go back
Speaker A
with my ex because I would have been like, "Bitch, go back, ho. [ __ ] Get the [ __ ] off my phone, [ __ ] ass." And then if I if you don't do it the first time,
Speaker A
then it's just the boundaries. Then it's not respected when you do it later. Exactly. Can't be that way. You got to stand on your T as a man the whole time.
Speaker A
Wow. 100%. That's it. Yeah. So, so now if I start a new relationship or whatever, um how would you uh approach the first, you know, conversation as boundaries? You don't need to be thinking about a new relationship right now. Okay. You ain't
Speaker A
ready. You're not mentally prepared for a new relationship. And how long you think? Probably like a good year of like I think you need I think you it be a year be six months. It depend on you.
Speaker A
You need to stay your ass in the gym. You need to keep your finances together.
Speaker A
And I think you need to understand you need to understand like where your value is as a man. You need to understand that, right? So, I need you need to take this time and just grind and become a
Speaker A
better man. And this is what you need to do. You need to you need to not respond to her if she hits you back up. This is the most important thing for you to do right now. When she hits you back up,
Speaker A
don't respond. Don't block her. Don't you [ __ ] [ __ ] you [ __ ] [ __ ] you. And then send her a message and block her. That's what women do. They don't do that [ __ ]
Speaker A
right? You don't say nothing. You go cold turkey. You don't speak to her because she does she's not even deserving of you. She cheated on you.
Speaker A
She did you she did you wrong. You didn't do her wrong, right? She's when she hit you back up, bro. You have to keep your You have to stand in that fire. I know it's going to hurt. I know
Speaker A
you gonna feel like, damn, I miss her. And it's because usually when time go by, you start thinking about all the positive [ __ ] that used to happen. You can't be that way. You got to stand there saying and be like, "Man, I'm on a
Speaker A
new leaf. I'm not [ __ ] with her. I'm not about to respond to her. I'm not about to check her page. I'm not about to try to see what her friends are doing. I'm not going to No, you need to
Speaker A
go cold turkey. You need to go zero dark 30 mode and you need to just just work gym money. Gym money. You need to get again I don't want to get into religion.
Speaker A
I don't know if you're religious, but something that that you believe in. That needs to be your focus. You feel me? And that's when you really start to become who you are as a man. But you got to
Speaker A
make sure that you handle that and then you can focus on the relationship. But you ain't I don't think you mentally prepared yet. What about like little dates here and there?
Speaker A
You said who? Like dates here and there cuz I'm talking to like a few girls.
Speaker A
Whatever. I don't think you should be going on no dates either. Okay. You do what you want to do. You a grown ass man. I'm just giving you No, I'm I'm taking your advice, bro. Yeah. I wouldn't be going on no date. It was a
Speaker A
time period for like a year I didn't go on no dates with no woman. I was barely [ __ ] with women. I was in straight grind mode. Straight. I I'm heartbroken right now and I can't even fathom being
Speaker A
around a woman. I just want to handle my business and become a man. And that was one of the best decisions I ever made.
Speaker A
Right. So that that's when uh the a girl comes along, right? When when you're doing when you're on your grind. Not necessarily, but that's that's when it's not about a girl. It's about you, bro.
Speaker A
Right. It's not about a girl. I mean, yeah, possibly. But that's that the focus is That's what happened to me.
Speaker A
That's why I meet with this girl. I was on my grind six months into it and she was just like, "Oh, she was just showing me mad attention, mad love." You know what I mean? And uh she she was a good
Speaker A
girl. She had a great job. She had a good job. She was no good girl. Yeah.
Speaker A
You thought you didn't pick up you didn't you don't have a good betting process. But to to the point though, working on yourself is not about a girl.
Speaker A
It's your thought process when working on yourself and becoming a better man should not be let me set myself up for the future girl. No, it's about put just a better you. The girl is Women are always going to be there. You going to
Speaker A
be 37, bro. 38. You said you're 28, right? Yeah, 28. You going to be 38 one day. It's still going to be women that's going to be there. Women ain't ever going nowhere. But it's really just to get you just to get you ready. It ain't
Speaker A
about the women. That's it though. All right. I appreciate you coming up. Appreciate your time, bro. For sure.
Speaker A
Likewise.
Topics:dating advicerelationship advicemen's self-improvementfinancial readinessaccountabilitycheatingAnt CEOdating strugglesrelationship boundariesmale empowerment
