Speaker A
Who helped Liz? I built this whole empire by myself. "Nobody's coming to save you." That's what I used to always say. You had bulimia, anorexia, severe depression. Yes. Now I had to deal with 19 years of abuse. When did it all change?
Liz shares her journey overcoming 19 years of abuse, betrayal, and rebuilding her life with resilience and self-discovery.
Key Takeaways
- Survival and self-reliance are crucial in overcoming long-term abuse and trauma.
- Success can bring loneliness and reveal true character in relationships.
- Forgiveness is personal and not always necessary for healing.
- Strong family bonds, especially with siblings, provide vital support.
- Awareness of cultural and personal trauma helps in understanding resilience.
Summary
- Liz endured 19 years of abuse, bulimia, anorexia, and severe depression before deciding to stop being a victim.
- Her childhood was marked by strict control, isolation, and trauma, including a disabled brother and a sadistic father.
- Liz reveals the loneliness and betrayal she faced as she became successful, impacting her ability to trust and form friendships.
- She discusses the heartbreak of being separated from her infant child and the emotional toll of custody struggles.
- Liz emphasizes survival mode as a coping mechanism through her life’s hardships and the importance of self-reliance.
- The interview touches on cultural issues like honor killings and the impact of strict religious upbringing.
- Liz shares her positive traits such as humor, strength, and workaholism despite her traumatic past.
- She reflects on the importance of timing and fate in meeting the interviewer and sharing her story.
- Liz highlights the value of genuine connections, especially with her sister and a few close friends.
- The conversation underscores the harsh realities of betrayal, the complexity of forgiveness, and the journey of healing.
Chapters
- 00:00Introduction and Early Trauma
- 09:47Motherhood and Custody Struggles
- 18:58Family Dynamics and Protecting Loved Ones
- 27:50Dealing with Betrayal and Emotional Survival
- 37:57Cultural Challenges and Honor Killings
- 49:09Independence and Breaking Free
- 76:31Reflections on Love, Success, and Loneliness
- 118:29Healing, Forgiveness, and Moving Forward
Full Transcript — Download SRT & Markdown
Speaker A
When I was four months pregnant, I got cheated on. Loyalty is more important than love. I'm gonna stop being a victim. The more I'm listening to you, the more I know how real it was. You don't need to forgive everyone,
Speaker A
and I don't believe everyone deserves your forgiveness either. When I say "your childhood," what is the first emotion that comes to mind?
Speaker A
My oldest brother, he was disabled because of the war. You don't forgive him? We used to pray that his plane would crash. If he was to die, then we were finally relieved of our suffering. And I'm sorry that I'm reminding you of these things,
Speaker A
but I'm trying to paint a picture of Liz to the people also. Yes. So I knew this was going to be... The funny thing is we believe in timing, and we were supposed to meet for the first time
Speaker A
last year, but for timing reasons of our life or fate, it didn't happen. And we finally met today, and I was doing the research, and I was mind blown by what Liz has gone through in her life, and I knew
Speaker A
I could not compromise questions. I can't remove. I wanted to keep all of the questions in my head. So I had a lot, and I wanted you to go with me through a journey to get to know Liz.
Speaker A
So I hope you enjoyed it, too. Yes, I liked it a lot. Five stars. That's five?
Speaker A
That's ten. I'll take ten. So, if you know Liz from before,
Speaker A
because she said she doesn't do a lot of long form, I hope you get to know her from different angles and her perspective on a lot of things,
Speaker A
and if you don't know her, get to know her. I think you're going to get to know three hours of proper insight, and if you like her, support her. Support her love for women, for being a mother, and when she opens her brand.
Speaker A
So I hope you enjoy it as much as I did. Thank you, and also support him. Thank you. Enjoy. Let's go. Hi, Liz. Hi. We finally meet. Yes. We never met in person, funny. No. So we start with, how are you really doing?
Speaker A
I'm doing good. Given the circumstances, I think I'm doing pretty good. Are you covering?
Speaker A
Or are you actually good inside? I don't know. I feel like I'm so numb at this point in my life where I just don't know anymore how I'm really feeling. I just...
Speaker A
I think so many things have happened in my life where I just had to survive and not really live. So now again, I have a situation happening in my life that is so heartbreaking that I'm like, "Okay, it's survival mode again,
Speaker A
and once I'm in survival mode, I just don't feel. I just keep going because I have no other choice." I guess it's in your wiring, and today for the audience, I'm just telling you from now, "Enjoy the ride,"
Speaker A
because we have a whole journey to go through your 27 years, which is a very interesting and filled experience. So I wanted to go through it. I really looked at the research, and I didn't go too deep because I want to listen to you.
Speaker A
But yes, everybody knows you as The Wizard Liz, but who is Liz when no one's around?
Speaker A
I think I'm really... I'm a very positive person, and I'm very funny. That's how my friends would describe me, and my friends, that's my sister, because I don't really hang out with anyone else. And so I think my sister would describe me as someone funny,
Speaker A
light-hearted. I'm also very... I feel like a strong person and definitely a workaholic. I love working. And I feel like I'm also always there for people. You said you don't have friends. I don't really have friends, no. Growing up, I wasn't allowed to have friends.
Speaker A
In school, I had friends, but I wasn't allowed to hang out with them outside because my father was super controlling, super religious, and basically me and my sister, we couldn't leave our house unless it was school or work.
Speaker A
So I never was allowed to develop friendships outside of the house, but I was very lucky that I had a sister who is literally my best friend. Yes, that was really good, but other than that, all of my friendships just turned into online.
Speaker A
I never really hang out with people other than my sister. So it's just something you got used to that even when you moved out and had your own life, you still don't know how to make friends?
Speaker A
Or you don't want to make new friends? I think right now I'm at a point, even with my career and everything, that I've been very betrayed, even with people that used to be my friends, and I've been backstabbed a lot,
Speaker A
that I'm very cautious now who I allow around me. And even recently, I found something out about a guy that I used to be friends with, and I'm like, I don't understand how some people do what they do
Speaker A
or why they would do it. But you know how they always say, "Once you make it or once you become successful, your day ones, you should never forget them," or all these things. But I really feel like once you change
Speaker A
or once you reach a certain level of success, a lot of people reveal who they really are, and that for me has been the most heartbreaking process because I now understand why people say that, the more successful you get,
Speaker A
the lonelier you get. I get it, and I hate that they say people tell you you've changed when you stop being the way they want you to be. Yes, exactly. Exactly, that's very true. But you know how I look at it, Liz,
Speaker A
when I go through similar things? I'm like, "Thank God you showed me," because I'd rather know than be that stupid idiot that everybody knows except me. I hate that idea. Everybody knows they're taking advantage or lying to you,
Speaker A
they're cheating or whatever, and you're just that. I don't want to be the naive girl. I want to know at least. It would hurt, but I know, and then I know where to put you, either out or in another box.
Speaker A
- I know. - Yes. I prefer that. - I agree. - It hurts, but it's better. Very true, but it's a hard lesson to learn. I feel...
Speaker A
You've never had one best friend other than your sister? I had one in school. There was this Moroccan girl, I'm still friends with her. We always text. Her name is Nasira, and she never had friends either, and then I was like,
Speaker A
"Let's be friends." She's a really nice girl. I appreciate her a lot. What made your heart smile today?
Speaker A
I FaceTimed my baby. I was very happy. I'm happy that you're happy. - Thank you. - That's good. That's really sweet and important for your heart. For two weeks, I had like no contact with my ex who has my child,
Speaker A
and I didn't know anything about my child, so I was like really... I was really suffering because my sister, she's trying to make me be strong and just like, you know, "He'll come around. He'll give you your child or whatever.
Speaker A
It will happen. Just stay strong." And then two weeks go by, and nothing happens. And then I feel especially because I'm a mother, I can't. So I reached out, and we came to some sort of agreement that I
Speaker A
at least can FaceTime my child. That made me very happy, but I just don't understand the level of evil you have to be to take a child from their mother if the mother genuinely wants to be in a child's life
Speaker A
and wants to be there, especially 'cause it's an infant. They need their mother, especially for the brain development and all these things. Really, this year I just learned that people are very evil, and I feel like growing up
Speaker A
I don't know why, because my dad was very sadistic and he was very evil, but somehow I was very naive about people, and maybe it's because I was always isolated because I wasn't allowed to hang around other people really.
Speaker A
I wasn't allowed to date, so I didn't really know the extent of people. So I just assumed everyone has good in them, and I was really walking around, "La, la, la," just delusional, you know, and I think just like
Speaker A
especially meeting my ex and going through all of that and that betrayal, I realized like, "Wow, there is actual real danger in this world," and people will portray themselves as someone that they're completely not, and they just don't care if it hurts you.
Speaker A
They don't feel empathy that it hurts you. So then I was like, "Damn, I really need to watch out." But that also made me wiser because now I'm like...
Speaker A
So
Speaker A
- Right? - Yes It takes you one moment to blow it up Yes true The evil is very strong and quick and it can destroy so much To build, I could as friends I can build me and you, our trust
Speaker A
for the next two years and then I do one thing and you're like, "Damn it" "I can't believe he did that" "He said that behind my back or he did this" So it breaks That's why I feel sad
Speaker A
I feel sad about the evil I don't know sometimes people are born with it, maybe not maybe it's the the childhood I think it can be nurture That's why I'm like, Even if I say for example "My ex is evil"
Speaker A
I think it's more so he's also acting from a traumatized standpoint and what he knows from his childhood Because I really believe like you attract people on the same trauma that you have For example, you know?
Speaker A
No matter how much you try to heal them or whatever Your nervous system will be comfortable with someone that has either been through the same things or is on that same vibration So if you look at my ex for example
Speaker A
he was abandoned really like a child What he's doing now is what his parents did with him Just like, "I'm going to take the child" and whatever, all these things And in a way I was also abandoned but it was like my parents did stay together
Speaker A
even though they were abusive My dad was abusing my mom they stay together So for me, I grew up not getting the love and nurture that I needed from my parents but they stay together so there's a sense of loyalty that I know
Speaker A
which isn't even good because oftentimes people that see their parents argue or stay in abusive situations they go into relationships and then they think, "Okay, so I should also stay cause my parents stayed together" and that's what they see as
Speaker A
"This is love, you stay together no matter what" And then for example what he's doing is like his parents were like dating other people and throwing the child around using it as a prop and now he's doing the same thing
Speaker A
and he doesn't really know any loyalty because he he didn't see that with his parents So it's like, "Is this person really evil or are they acting from their childhood?" It can still be evil even if they're acting out of their childhood
Speaker A
I mean, what he's doing is bad but I always look at why you are doing that It doesn't mean that I have to accept it It doesn't mean I have to justify your actions Correct But I always try to understand
Speaker A
where is this coming from If you understand, Liz it makes you feel better That's why we want to understand That's true That's why ghosting sucks because you don't understand You go crazy But if you understand, even if they're like
Speaker A
" I'm just not interested" Even if it hurts, you understand and you can close it off Correct Yes, I think that's what I have Yes, they say "When people say that they're looking for happiness in a relationship they're not really seeking happiness
Speaker A
they're seeking familiarity" And that's where you attract what your nervous system is used to Chaos? Chaos Abandonment? Abandonment You know?
Speaker A
Unless you catch it and maybe work on it I don't know When I say your childhood, what is the first emotion that comes to mind?
Speaker A
I just feel betrayed I feel like my childhood was taken from me I feel like I never had one That's what I feel when I think of my childhood And we're going to go more into it but I'll tell you a few things that I read
Speaker A
Is it true that your mom tried to escape on her wedding night? - Yes - Wow My mom was forced to marry my dad which is crazy because she really didn't want to marry him She didn't want to marry anyone
Speaker A
and my mom was She's still a very beautiful woman but everyone knew her as a super beautiful woman in the city And she was always like very high class She didn't want to marry anyone and then my dad was from a poor village
Speaker A
Not attractive, no one wanted him and he was already married one time before and my mom used to always say, "I will never marry someone that had kids before or that was married before" She used to always say that
Speaker A
and then my dad came around and everyone literally said he did black magic on her No way that he got her This is how much people couldn't believe it and even on her wedding night there were other people that were trying to marry her
Speaker A
she was trying to escape to go that way but my aunt caught her and she was forced to marry my dad And yes the misery began once she married him he turned immediately abusive and it was crazy because he was stalking her
Speaker A
obsessing over her He wouldn't leave her alone until he married her and then it was like a switch 25 years of hell How would you describe your childhood?
Speaker A
Other than the betrayal feeling? If you had to draw it for me It's such a blur because I have so much trauma that a lot of things I do not remember I remember flashes Like visions almost and they're not good
Speaker A
I didn't have a childhood I don't know what to tell you I don't know I do know that I I was like a happy kid still or try to be happy but it's not like that I was given the love that I wanted
Speaker A
Not from mom, too? My mom was very like I feel like I was a mother to my mother So I feel like I was her parent taking care of her and protecting her You know what's actually crazy?
Speaker A
I do hypnotherapy and all these things for my PTSD and I was recently in a session with my therapist and I wanted to heal the relationship with my ex and why I feel so r esponsible for this person
Speaker A
even though they hurt me and we literally went into hypnosis and I saw a vision where I was a little girl and I don't remember what age it was I think like around 8 years old or something and I was sleeping
Speaker A
and I remember at night I suddenly heard, "Liz" My mom yelling for me So I woke up and I ran to the living room and when I ran to the living room The lights were off and my mom was sitting on the floor
Speaker A
and my dad was sitting in front of her and she had been hit in the face and I was like, and I looked at them and my dad looked at me He's like, "Go back to your room" "Go to sleep"
Speaker A
and my mom was scared and in that moment my mom told me, This is making me emotional my mom told me, "Don't go" because she was scared in that moment I decided, I went to sit next to her
Speaker A
even though I was scared myself but I realized in that moment I took on the role of her protector and ever since that moment it wasn't a childhood for me anymore it was like I'm responsible for my mother
Speaker A
and I'm responsible for my siblings for my whole family I need to protect them against my father and my father really started to hate me from a young age and resent me because I was always protecting my mom
Speaker A
and for example he would try these manipulation tactics on my siblings "I'm going to buy donuts for you guys" or whatever so they would like him more but it would never work on me because I could see through him and I was like,
Speaker A
"No I'm going to stick with my mom no matter what" That was just my whole childhood giving her advice, protecting her physically protecting her and then once I became older my whole focus was I need to provide and I need to make money to help my mom
Speaker A
and to help my siblings, that's my role So then I remember when I was 12 years old, for example I went and I bought these waffles in supermarket and I was like, "I have to decorate each waffle separately
Speaker A
and then I was going to sell them door to door to people so that I could make money" I was like, "It's for a good cause" The good cause was me I was selling them and I had made like a lot of money
Speaker A
but I told my parents that I have a nanny job or something I was doing that job and then once it was legal for me to work which was like 15 turning 16 I did any job I could, literally
Speaker A
I was always working because I didn't want my mom to have to provide for me because she was already working a lot and my dad wasn't doing anything so I didn't want to put more pressure on her so also my sister started working
Speaker A
The women in the family were all working um and we were providing for ourselves and then my dad would make us pay for groceries and everything He was doing nothing It was a lot of responsibility at a young age
Speaker A
It makes sense that you didn't taste what childhood is supposed to be And then also at some point you had to leave your homeland and emigrate, right?
Speaker A
Yes, that was actually I was 1 year old That was before So all of what you told me was after the move Yes So you moved very early so you don't remember your home No no My mom does remember the war
Speaker A
My dad does, my older brother does Are you ready for the journey? Yes The first time I do it this way but There was so much to your story, Liz that I usually don't even...
Speaker A
I'll use this just for five questions that I'll quote you and I'll see what you have to say about your quote or what somebody's saying But this time I can't, I need to make sure we go to this
Speaker A
journey correctly Yes okay I've lived many lives Okay so is it true that your mother was cleaning toilets for $10 a week?
Speaker A
And that was your family's only source of food? Yes that was like when we had just immigrated and we're at the immigration center refugee camp and there you could do a job where you clean toilets and she would make $10 a week for that
Speaker A
Yes, that was the money that we had Another thing happened which was even crazier because my oldest brother he was disabled because of the war and because of that we got government support that they gave to refugees and it was around 10,000 to 15,000 dollars
Speaker A
That was a huge amount of money especially back in the day Per month or per year?
Speaker A
No, you get that once Because you need medical support and all these things And basically my mom had found out that my dad had taken that money that was supposed to be for my brother and he had sent it back home
Speaker A
so his mom could build a house for herself after the war destroyed her house so she could build a house again So my mom said, "That was the first time that I looked at that man and I genuinely hated this person
Speaker A
and I'm never going to forgive him again" because we couldn't even afford food or basic necessities and you have three children by that time and he just didn't care He just sent it all so we didn't have money
Speaker A
Why do you think.. You said you're five Why do you think your mom kept having children?
Speaker A
I think society and how all our culture is raised I think it's very normal and it's like what her mother has done and they didn't know any better I mean, she also never had an example of any woman
Speaker A
that does anything outside of the norm So you're just going to do what everyone else is doing You know, you create a family The man tells you he wants a child so you listen to the man He's abusing you
Speaker A
but you're still going to stay because that's all you have ever seen And then it takes one person to break that cycle for it to never repeat again because now you have an example of how things can be different
Speaker A
Correct Is it true that your father would invite friends over to humiliate your mother because she wanted a job?
Speaker A
Yes, he would So, the first years He wouldn't allow her to work but we would get government support and he wouldn't give it to her either or she had to beg for $5 to buy bread And he wouldn't
Speaker A
He basically liked the control that he had and then whenever she was like, "Look I really need a job I need to provide for my children" He would basically call his friends like, "Look at this dumbass, she wants a job"
Speaker A
He would just laugh at her It's quite twisted You don't have money She wants to work and he doesn't allow her to work I think he enjoyed seeing her suffer I think there are a lot of men, unfortunately
Speaker A
that enjoy seeing women suffer It's not even about anything other than that They like that you're unhappy I think it's a very narcissistic trait and an egoistic trait You want the other person to be...
Speaker A
Narcissists are masters at it Slowly, slowly they control you Or slowly, slowly they make you insecure "I don't like, you know blue jeans don't look good on you" And you're like, "Oh really?" It actually looks good but now he wants you to be insecure about it
Speaker A
Because you're a good-looking person or whatever And slowly "Oh, your ears" I'm talking about the subtle narcissist there are more aggressive ones I wonder,because I used to always think "Does my dad fit into the archetype?" But he was way more sadistic than that
Speaker A
I think narcissism is one way but then you have actual sociopaths that don't feel any type of empathy at all But at the flip side, outside he was very loved and everyone, very charming man A religious man, Everyone thought he was amazing
Speaker A
so that does fit in with a narcissist but I heard somewhere that sociopaths can have narcissism too but not all narcissists are sociopaths Could be I think narcissism is a spectrum I think a lot of people have it
Speaker A
especially with selfies today I think selfies make you more narcissist Especially somebody who like their last nine pictures on Instagram are all them alone And I'm like, I know some people would say, "Anas, no, you're judging" I think if it's always just you
Speaker A
I think there's a level of narcissism there Now, is it normal narcissism? Or unhealthy or healthy?
Speaker A
I think we can argue that from what I've seen I think humans have a spectrum of narcissism and at some point it becomes harmful to people Before that, maybe somebody's just in love with themselves or insecure I think that's a misconception about narcissism
Speaker A
I was just going to say that I don't think they're in love with themselves I think they're insecure That's a misconception Because people think like Oh, people that are narcissistic are just in love with themselves or things like that
Speaker A
but actually like they're severely insecure individuals And it is a mental illness they don't operate how normal people operate They scheme and they plot things and for example, how I've seen people diagnosed with narcissism I've seen is they'll think like,
Speaker A
"Okay, today I'm going to act like a good partner" "Today, I'm going to act like a good father" That's how they think but everything is an act So nothing is really because they want to do it and also how exhausting it is to live like that
Speaker A
You have to constantly just perform For example, I had this instance with this person and their grandma came to visit for example When she came to visit they were like, It's like their grandma And then they're like, "I want her to just take a hotel
Speaker A
and not stay at my house" and I was like, "Are you insane?" "Let her stay at your house; that's your grandma" And they were like, "No, because then I have to constantly wear a mask" And I was like, "Damn,
Speaker A
when can you ever be yourself?" "And when in your childhood did you learn that you have to perform for approval?" Because that's what they're really doing they don't think that they're good enough they don't think that their authentic version
Speaker A
will be accepted So they will do anything so that they are liked For example, if we look at my ex The first year that we were together, that person didn't exist He literally was everything I wanted in a man
Speaker A
He was taking care of me He was emotionally there for me Anytime he wanted to spend with me Really a love story, beautiful But then I realized this person Because he was a fan of my content before This person just studied me
Speaker A
and he mirrored every single thing that I was So I fell in love with myself but that was never him and so after that I realized when I was four months pregnant I got cheated on I was shocked
Speaker A
Because this person was such a loyal person and never wanted to leave my side and blah blah So when I found that out I have never been so shocked in my life about something It was a wake up
Speaker A
"Oh my God" And then I just realized that this person that I thought that he was never existed So it was a whole reality collapse for me And then I have to deal with, "So who is this person?"
Speaker A
and I feel like when you go through a relationship like that was the relationship ever consensual?
Speaker A
I don't think so Because I did not consent to get engaged to this person Because I don't know them You just lied You just played a whole character for someone I think that's actually really insane For sure I've never in my life been so shocked
Speaker A
Because you are not like that it sounds insane For anybody listening who's similar they're like, "Maybe I don't" I'm literally doing that right now Look, on the topic of narcissism I notice people who are very egoistic obviously have a high higher level of narcissism
Speaker A
I would say I think they go hand in hand to a certain degree and I notice they take everything personally They don't accept criticism No no And they don't take accountability That doesn't exist at all And there's no "Let's agree to disagree"
Speaker A
- It's their opinion - Yes So, a person who is comfortable in their skin is one of the sexiest characteristics, I think I think and they can be, "That's a good looking person" "Good for them" There's no like envy
Speaker A
"No, but they seem stupid" You're like, "No, they're funny" It has nothing to do with you But that's the issue They constantly also compete with people in their head So I really believe that's also the reason why they struggle even more with themselves
Speaker A
Because how can you truly become successful or fall in love with yourself if you're constantly looking at other people In order to become successful, You need to focus on yourself and you need to have "Okay, this is what; I want to do
Speaker A
this is what I want to achieve" Because if you're going to sit there and you're going to constantly think, "What is this person doing?" "What is that person doing?" then you are never pouring energy into yourself you're just pouring
Speaker A
all of your energy into these other people and you're making them bigger meanwhile you can pour all of that energy back into yourself and you can just become who you want to be Yes, but Liz do you think they even understand what you're saying?
Speaker A
Maybe one day, God willing Most, I don't think so And some of them are very successful because I think they're very successful on the outside not on the inside On the inside, I don't know if they sleep well
Speaker A
For me, success is like that you really feel fulfilled inside I think it's nice to know that you are the same person One of the best compliments I ever get Ever I love this compliment when somebody meets me in real life
Speaker A
and they're like, "Oh, you're the same" And I love that because then I'm aligned Yes I like that I'm not like a character here But then if you sit with me in a restaurant I'm always on my phone I'm not listening
Speaker A
and I'm not you were such an attentive listener on the show" "But in real life you don't even give a shit about what I'm saying" That's fake That's me playing a character But sit with me in an Uber
Speaker A
I'm curious "Oh really?" and I want to know So when I get that compliment I'm like, "Thank God, I'm one" Or as one as I could be - That's very important - I think so I hope so Is it true that when your mother got a new job
Speaker A
she sold her jewelry to take you all out to celebrate at McDonald's? Yes, my mom used to Because she had gold from back home, still And she used to I remember when me and my sister there was carnival at school where you
Speaker A
dress up and whatever and me and my sister we couldn't afford a costume, obviously but my mom was so sad that we wouldn't be able to fit in with the other children So that was the first time that she sold
Speaker A
her necklace or whatever so that we could have an outfit for the carnival and I was a butterfly My sister was a frog Then, after that, she finally She was constantly applying for jobs constantly And then she would never get a job
Speaker A
but then she got one and it was at a factory where you pack boxes It was a very heavy and logistical job Most men do that job But then she got that job and she was so happy so then
Speaker A
She still had some gold left She sold it and then we went to McDonald's and we celebrated We were so happy That's sweet Your mom is around?
Speaker A
- Yes - Thank God You have a relationship with her? Oh yes I'm obsessed with my mother Seems rightfully so Yes When you were taking care of the house, I read that you were mopping the floor because your mom was busy
Speaker A
You and your sister would do things in the house take care of the house and you said I think that your father would drop more water so you keep cleaning So, my father, he was very weird He had these
Speaker A
power things he would do to show that he's in power and control Very sadistic So for example my mom was always working at that point so she wasn't really around for the abuse or anything so me and my sister we were at home and we were just
Speaker A
we had to mop and clean the floor, whatever So we did that And my father, he just comes in He looks at the floor and he just puts the water again It's clean again for no reason Or like another time where
Speaker A
I was sitting in my living room and I was sitting right here I was packing my stuff for school He was sitting right here and he had the remote in front of him and every single time he would call us out of our room
Speaker A
to hand him the remote even though it was here but it was just to show "I'm powerful" Then, one time I was sitting right there completely there next to a door that had glass and my father was sitting here
Speaker A
the remote is here and he goes like, "Give me the remote", and I said, "One second" Because I was packing something in my backpack for school and because I said "One second" he takes the remote and he throws it at my head
Speaker A
but I ducked so because I ducked it broke the glass of the door and so he beat me up because the glass door was broken because it was supposed to be my head and not the glass Did you notice you laugh?
Speaker A
I laugh when I get uncomfortable I know You know, there was another thing that he used to always do with me and my sister and it was like He would literally so he had a silver suitcase and in our culture
Speaker A
honor killings are very normal for women Ever since I was young I heard "We're going to kill you if you dishonor my reputation" That was all I ever heard So basically my dad had this silver suitcase and my sister and I,
Speaker A
I remember I was like 8 years old We were sitting in our room and he came inside of the room with a silver suitcase he opens it and there's all like butcher knives and he said to us, "If you guys ever do something to dishonor me
Speaker A
these are the knives I will kill you guys with" and then we were like, "Okay" So then, after that, a couple years later he would start this ritual where my sister for example pissed him off or did something
Speaker A
and he would take the silver suitcase and he would take out the knife and he would basically it was in the living room My sister was on the couch and he would push the knife on my not with the sharp thing
Speaker A
but like the flat thing on her neck and basically be like, "You're going to die" and I had to like for hours beg for her life So I would sit there being like "Don't kill her" Literally I would cry so much
Speaker A
my eyes would be swollen and we were children So I would like be begging for her life "Don't kill her" And then he would be like, "You're going to die" My sister's screaming Then he would be like, "Call your mom right now and say
Speaker A
your last goodbyes cause you're dying tonight" It was like torture psychological torture for like hours on end and we believed that she was going to die and I was the only one that could save her out of that
Speaker A
So and then it was crazy because like we had a cat at the time That was my first cat ever and he was such a sweet cat Would never put nails on you Would never touch you, nothing but my dad
Speaker A
in the middle of doing his weird ritual where he was trying to kill my sister He goes, he stands up Because it was time for prayer He goes, he stands up to pray My sister's still on the couch and
Speaker A
his praying mat is right here He goes He stands up to pray and he goes like down like this And suddenly at that moment when he goes down the cat runs up and scratches his face and my cat had never touched anyone
Speaker A
or scratched anyone but I really believe that Cats are like spiritual protectors and they're very They energetically really protect you and so when my cat did that to my dad He was like, "Okay, stand up and go to your room'
Speaker A
because even he understood then that what he was doing was wrong It's good that you're not laughing anymore It's not allowed If I don't laugh, I'm going to cry so I rather laugh If you want to cry, you cry
Speaker A
you don't want to cry, don't cry but we don't need to cover it with laughter I think that's why me and my sister we have a bond where we're very like this We're always protecting each other because it's a big
Speaker A
We went through all of that trauma together and me and my other siblings as well and we're all very protective of our mom Because we saw her go through all of that abuse So even if my mom is late
Speaker A
5 minutes from work, my brothers Everyone's calling, "Where are you?" "What's going on?" We get really stressed because of what we had to witness as children How's your nervous system?
Speaker A
- I don't know - Tired? Yes I don't know I just, I don't know Stop We can sit here You can sit It's okay to sit You're fine What are you feeling?
Speaker A
I don't know, uncomfortable Why? I think I have a lot of memories of my childhood but then I like when I actually speak about it those emotions come back up and I feel like I'm more comfortable running from them
Speaker A
than confronting them I also believe, Liz I don't know if you believe but I believe people come into our lives at a certain time and a certain moment for a certain thing whether good or bad But I think I am sitting here in front of you
Speaker A
so that you don't run away too much I think you need to start to stop not suddenly, I don't think it's possible I think I'm here as a handbrake for you to...
Speaker A
You don't need to completely run away and not completely dive into it Maybe that's too much for you at one time but I'm your brake A little Just to go from fourth gear to first So today we sit in it a bit
Speaker A
It's okay, be uncomfortable I'll ask you more This feels like therapy I'm not a therapist I'm just a guy that asks questions and is curious You said that your father would spit in your face?
Speaker A
Yes You remember that? Yes Why would he? Because one time my mom asked me to take $5 from his wallet Because I needed to buy bread and so he found out that I did that so he beat me for it
Speaker A
and the spit in my face was actually because I spent $2 extra on something that I needed to buy for him so then he looked at the receipt and then he spit in my face You know, when I was doing the research
Speaker A
I was curious if you're a liar It's a normal thing because it's a dramatic life You know, some people do things to be popular negative attention, right?
Speaker A
Makes you popular But the more I'm listening to you I didn't even come with that judgement by the way - I come - No, it's okay - as neutral as I can - I get it I just wanted to give you this credit
Speaker A
The more I'm listening to you, the more I know how real it was And how raw So thank you for being raw with me You know..
Speaker A
I honestly wish it was a lie I oftentimes think to myself I wish I could wake up and everything was just a bad dream but it's not If you could go back in time and change the family that you were born into
Speaker A
would you? No I wouldn't because who would protect my mom? You know, it's like even with like the money thing and me always wanting a lot of money or trying to make money The only reason I ever wanted to do that was
Speaker A
to help my mom and my family Even when I started YouTube, and that was the first big paycheck that I got from my YouTube ad revenue I immediately sent everything to my mom Ever since then, I started giving her a monthly allowance
Speaker A
then I had like a big brand deal with this sponsorship that I did and all of that money I took and I immediately paid off her house because otherwise she would have to for the next 15 years work to pay it off
Speaker A
and it was like such a big stress on me that she would have to work constantly to pay that and all these things I was so happy like I could do that for her Because I always when I say,
Speaker A
"Oh, I love money so much" People think I'm materialistic or whatever They always see the bad things But money really changed my family's life and I really took away a lot of their problems because of it So, for me, money has been a really big blessing
Speaker A
and like even helping other people Like girls that message me that are in bad situations being able to help them and stuff I don't understand that people demonize money so much when I really think that if you are a good person
Speaker A
without money, you'll be a better person with money but if you are a bad person without money you'll be worse Because you'll abuse that power But yes I really it has been a blessing You know?
Speaker A
If you're born into a poor family or a simple family financially, unfortunately, poor houses speak of money as an evil rich houses speak of money as an asset or a resource Yes They're more comfortable to talk about money at lunch
Speaker A
Or in the living room I wasn't brought up to speak positively about money And then that builds a negative relationship and a perception to money Money is a tool Something that my mother mentioned to us on her 60th birthday
Speaker A
She said, "Guys, don't buy me a gift, buy me a memory" So, you know It's like you taking your mum to Switzerland to enjoy the nature for a week you just use money to buy a memory without that money
Speaker A
If your mum is sick, who will take her to the hospital? If your baby needs Pampers who's going to buy? With what?
Speaker A
Very true With coupon? What are you going to do? We should stop attacking money It's not even a person It's not even a personality It doesn't even exist It's a resource Use it for good or bad like you said,
Speaker A
it matters who's the person who has that resource I saw a video of your sister saying that she saw that your father was dragging you by the hair - Is that true? - Yes I don't know How many things am I supposed to talk about
Speaker A
Yes And I'm sorry that I'm reminding you of these things but I'm trying to paint a picture of this to the people also Yes, he would do these things drag me by the hair, He would like, how do you say it?
Speaker A
Stomp me? Stomp me in the face with his foot but he would abuse everyone my brothers, too me too I always thought he was abused by his mother when he was young His mom was very evil too He had
Speaker A
a lot of scars on his head because of how much she used to beat him and then he took that and he basically when my mom used to tell him, "Why are you beating your children?" "What are you doing?"
Speaker A
He used to say, "Well, I got beat too" So he felt justified in what he did - Repeating - Yes I think a lot of people that are unhealed in their traumas they take their trauma and they felt, "Something unfair was done to me"
Speaker A
They almost become jealous of their children so they try to sabotage their childhood or they try to, "You're going to experience what I had to experience because why am I the only one who had to go through that
Speaker A
So then they traumatize their children but I feel like you should look at it and be like, you want to give your child the childhood you never had Something beautiful You have a chance to even relive your own childhood
Speaker A
with your child True You're a very smart person Thank you You probably know that I'm just telling you No, thank you, I appreciate that No, you are very sharp You see things from a certain angle What you just said, it's the first time I heard it
Speaker A
and it makes a lot of sense how maybe a traumatized parent feels jealous of the children of his children if they're safe and not having as much trauma as them I've never thought of it that way It makes a lot of sense
Speaker A
That's fucked up but it makes sense You said that seeing your disabled brother getting abused by your father was one of the most heartbreaking moments of your childhood What happened?
Speaker A
Man, these questions I'm going to take it and I'm going to rip them We can burn it together later Let's burn it We attack them today and then we can fucking burn all of them Because now maybe they're hidden somewhere here
Speaker A
Let's attack them and we talk about them and you release them and then we burn all of these Yes Yes So, that was another instance where my older brother has He has polio He can still walk on his own and all these things
Speaker A
but like mentally, he's very smart still but he's kind of childish I would say he has autism very similar to autistic people He doesn't remember things as sharp and all these things His brain isn't the best but my dad basically went somewhere
Speaker A
with my older brother and suddenly, we were at home we were in the apartment and we hear someone in the street screaming crying outside and we all go to the window and we're like, "What's happening?" People were looking outside
Speaker A
and then I see it's my brother My brother walking home crying then we open the door and my brother his shirt was ripped he has blood and all these things We were like "What happened?" and basically My dad in the car asked him to read Surah al Fatihah
Speaker A
and he couldn't read it well He doesn't remember and he was reading things wrong so my dad beat him up for that and yes, he just He was standing at the door Yes You remember this?
Speaker A
Yes And was he confused? He was crying and it breaks my heart because when he cries it's like he's, screaming, crying I just really don't understand how you can do that to someone and I'm very happy that I don't understand
Speaker A
but like the injustice that I saw with my siblings and with my mom I didn't even care ever about myself what he was doing to me, I didn't even care but seeing that that really made me very, very angry
Speaker A
and that's one of the reasons that I will never speak to my dad again never Is he alive?
Speaker A
Yes unfortunately You don't forgive him? No You think they say that I don't have the answer Do you think that if you don't forgive, you suffer?
Speaker A
No Do you believe that idea? The idea that you need to forgive No honestly I feel like you don't need to forgive everyone You can just leave them where they are and that's it I don't need to think,
Speaker A
"We're all good now and whatever" I can move on without ever If you die today, that's a good day for me that's really how I feel Some people, I don't believe there's rehabilitation for them I don't believe that they can be fixed
Speaker A
So and I don't believe everyone deserves your forgiveness either I think this is such a glamorized idea "We should just forgive everyone" but I don't believe that's justified and I believe like some people that are a victim of that person
Speaker A
it's almost like you're pushing that on them "You should forgive' Oftentimes even people, they tell me like, "Oh yes, but he's your father" So he deserves to, "You have to forgive him" "And he didn't know any better" but that's not an excuse
Speaker A
because if I today do the same thing to my child for example or if I go and I just abuse people and stuff am I allowed forgiveness?
Speaker A
Should I expect that from people? No, you know? I agree I just think they glamorize it "Let's just forgive and forget" It's easy to say this It's very easy to say Let me see somebody rape your child and let's be cool with that
Speaker A
"Just forgive" No, I think certain things It might sound harsh I think certain types of humans are just too evil and too broken that they're just not good for this planet like a pedophile, am I supposed to be like...
Speaker A
"Put him back into society" I don't believe you can rehabilitate those people This guy is molesting or harassing or raping a child and destroying a whole future and I'm supposed to be like, "I should forgive that he just raped six kids in a fucking nursery"
Speaker A
That's crazy How am I supposed to be okay? But I feel like it's also people that haven't really experienced severe types of abuse, that tell you you should forgive "But you go through it first" "You go through it,
Speaker A
and you try" There's also this thing with Do you know Gypsy Rose Blanchard? So, basically Gypsy Rose she was a victim of Munchausen by proxy It's basically where your parents, it was her mom in this case She would make her ill
Speaker A
So she would extract her teeth she would do all of these things and constantly go to the hospital with her she would shave her head and pretend that she has chemo and this disease where they basically keep you as a hostage
Speaker A
and abuse you and make you ill but she basically took away her whole childhood That girl didn't have a childhood She always had her hair shaved Her teeth were gone She was always doing surgeries and always on this medication that she didn't need
Speaker A
She was a healthy child but her mom was so mentally unwell that she did that to her and then unfortunately she ended up making her boyfriend stab her mom to death which is horrible horrible thing to do but what people don't understand
Speaker A
because people a lot of people attack her for it and they're like, "You're a murderer. How dare you do that?" But what people don't understand when you live with an abusive parent that is a danger to you That is not your parent
Speaker A
So many times, me and my brothers So, my dad used to travel we used to pray that his plane would crash Because if he was to die then we were finally relieved of our suffering and there was no other way out for us
Speaker A
because we weren't allowed to call the police We weren't allowed to do anything So it was either this guy is one day going to kill us or he has to go Obviously, you shouldn't go and murder people I don't agree with that
Speaker A
But can I understand in a way how she thought that that was her only way out?
Speaker A
Yes, I can understand her Do I think it's right? No But from an abuse child's perspective that has gone through that, do I get it?
Speaker A
I didn't know about the story I noticed in your videos you don't refer to him as "dad" You refer to him as "My mother's husband" Did you notice that?
Speaker A
Yes Is it a conscious thing or you just say it like that? No It's conscious I don't think he's a dad in order to be a father it's not just because you had sex with someone now you have a child
Speaker A
that doesn't make you a father A father shows up A father protects their children A father provides for his family That's a real father He's not a father It's just a sperm cell, to be honest A husband He couldn't even be a husband
Speaker A
I read about a Mini Cooper story Yes Tell me about that one That was another thing where basically, I used to..
Speaker A
The last few years before I started my TikTok, actually I worked in a restaurant I was really a hard worker I used to go to school wake up 6:00 AM I go to school until 05:00 PM then I change clothes into
Speaker A
my bar outfit that I had at restaurant and then I would drive to my work and I would work there to like 1:00 AM, something like that and then every time I used to come from work Because sometimes I was late
Speaker A
because I had to overwork my dad would beat me up Because I was late home but the issue was if I didn't want to stay late and I don't want to finish my job my boss was going to fire me
Speaker A
and I needed money So I was in between two So I was like, "Okay, I'll accept the beating, at least I can keep my job" But then it was like just at one point where I was driving home again
Speaker A
So many missed calls "Where are you?" and I was driving home from work and he was standing at the crossroads waiting for me to beat me up again so then he stepped into my car and he starts yelling at me
Speaker A
yelling all these things and it's a small car Something just snapped in my head and I literally started seeing black in front of my eyes and I just pressed on the gas pedal and I was literally I'm going to crash into a tree
Speaker A
Because I literally thought like, "At least my siblings can be done with him" and like I'm done with him But then he got really scared So he started yelling, "Let me out!'' and I couldn't see straight anymore but this is what people don't understand
Speaker A
You push people to their limits and then they do something and everyone looks at that person and they're like, "Why did they do that?" They don't see all the things you did to them They don't look at that
Speaker A
They only look at your reaction once you react So, that's why with abused children, it's very dangerous what these parents are doing Literally, some of these abuse children become abusers themselves huge abusers, you know and they do the same thing to generations onwards
Speaker A
So, it really needs to stop It's very very dangerous And this is why I'm talking a lot about your childhood So, I hope you pardon me on that because I'm sure people watching this some of them are facing abuse or they've seen it
Speaker A
at least seen it and I do think parents are creating monsters They are When you see genocide in the world, when you see rape, when you see people with crazy just killing people around the world You're like, "Who kills children?'
Speaker A
for example you know but you have to rewind and you would probably find out they created a monster somewhere in the childhood You created a psycho and it all starts at that foundation and if like you said nobody's talking about it
Speaker A
nobody's bringing awareness to it it's just going to keep doing this I had a very respected guest on #ABtalks We have a series called "Untold Stories" for not the famous people but normal people with great stories or crazy stories
Speaker A
and she talked about being sexually harassed at nine years old by this guy from their family and the way people attacked her Oh always She's shocked Of course, there are a lot of girls that reached out to her
Speaker A
and they're like, "Thank you" I'm sure that you get that "Thank you for speaking out, it made me strong, it made me feel hope" That side is great Then there are the people that are like, "Shame on you"
Speaker A
"Why would you embarrass his family?" Then I'm like, "Are you actually justifying?" "And shaming the person who had so much courage to speak in front of a fucking camera about something that can affect her, affect her family, affect her reputation"
Speaker A
It takes a lot You need to respect and admire that because she didn't need to She can stay quiet and I can't say anything but they shamed her so much about it and I'm like, "Come on, guys this is why abusers stay"
Speaker A
Of course Because you're protecting them I feel that especially in my culture and in these type of cultures it's like the shame is on you if you talk about it because they have learned to shut up and don't speak about their abuse
Speaker A
and it's also so normalized beating your children in our culture is so normalized The fact that I even speak about this is "Yes, but that's normal" Even men they're like, "My dad beat me and that's normal" But why is this so normalized in our society?
Speaker A
Because now we have people that become seriously mentally ill or like you said they do the same thing to other people and then if we look back we can always trace it back to something that had happened in childhood
Speaker A
because I don't believe a child is born evil I do believe that some mental illnesses you have, when you're born - Inherited - Probably, yes But a lot of it is also nurture and how you raise the child
Speaker A
- It's a combo - And all these things I think so Especially in in these type of cultures, they need to change this mindset Your child is not your punching bag and especially for the victims of this abuse
Speaker A
for these children, the shame is not with you the shame is with your abuser but oftentimes even me myself, I told my friend I was like, "I feel really ashamed" when I speak about these things because I'm almost too vulnerable
Speaker A
and I feel like people can attack me there But then she told me, "You know, Liz even though you might feel ashamed, you make a lot of other people in the same situation feel seen" True "And that's what you should do it for"
Speaker A
"Not for those people who are going to use it against, you manipulate you, whatever" So yes But I do put myself in a dangerous situation where people that watch my content let's say a guy, he watches my content
Speaker A
He realizes, "Oh, she's been abused by her father" and they want to manipulate me It's very easy to play into that But you're getting smarter Yes, now I am Life is teaching me You said, so many "You said"
Speaker A
One more you said "My life started when my father cheated on my mother" Yes What did you mean?
Speaker A
So when I was 19 years old, my dad, he was always cheating on my mom but he finally cheated really good and he got another wife and my mom figured out he had a second wife and he basically wanted to keep my mom
Speaker A
and have a second wife but at that point my mom was like, "I'm done" "Leave" And finally when he left we were allowed to have freedom So like that was the first time I was allowed to travel I was allowed to date
Speaker A
It was like my life opened up all of a sudden from no freedom to now I have freedom So you left the house, all of you?
Speaker A
No, we didn't leave the house but I started to travel I started dating people So he doesn't have control Or he's in the other house?
Speaker A
He went to live in another country with his wife So he started a new family So it was like, "Wow finally God heard our prayers This guy is gone" Even my brothers, everyone was very, very happy How sad is it
Speaker A
that you're happy that a father disappears? rather than the opposite Usually a father disappears, or a mother disappears you're like, "I miss them" "I hope they're back" - No - It's the opposite That was the best thing for us
Speaker A
It was very traumatizing as well because like imagine you never really had freedom and suddenly you get freedom Like a culture shock And you're like, "Oh wow" "What do I do now?" My first thought was, "Okay I can finally have a social media
Speaker A
now I need to make money" Because I wasn't allowed to have social media before so then I immediately start social media and all these things and thank God everything went very well for me That's how you started The Wizard Liz?
Speaker A
Yes Why did you start it? I started it because I wanted to make money Honestly, that was the reason Because my mom, I needed to pay off her house I needed to help her with money So I knew that
Speaker A
you can make a lot of money with social media that's why I started but I always also wanted to help people that has always been my goal I want to help people I want to make them believe in themselves more
Speaker A
to motivate them, all these things and especially women because I saw my mom struggle so much and everyone in my culture Women are really seen as not worthy at all honor killings Women are not valued at all So I really wanted to awaken women to their power
Speaker A
and who they really are and I really feel like if you are secure in yourself as a man, for example you will not be threatened by a woman that is that wants to feel powerful or that wants to awaken other women
Speaker A
which is also I have a lot of male followers that watch my content and they really like it They always come up to me "I love your content" But then you have these other ones that obviously feel threatened
Speaker A
because if your only power comes from putting someone else down, then you're not powerful True You're probably an emotional dictator Yes You said, "I wanted to help women" Yes Who helped Liz?
Speaker A
I don't know I feel like I helped myself a lot Are you trying to be to women what you needed to be for you?
Speaker A
Yes I always think about this "If I was younger and I had The Wizard Liz, how much that would have helped me!" I would have been my biggest fan I would have watched every video, everything Because seeing also someone talk about abuse
Speaker A
and all these things so openly I never saw that and especially I feel like also in Muslim culture it's so demonized to talk about these things because you have shame all these honor, and all these things Seeing that,
Speaker A
it would have broken a lot of stereotypes for me and I feel like I would have been like, "Oh, I can accomplish that too" The bigger question is that actually Islamic?
Speaker A
Or is it culture that is dressed with religion? I do think religion influences culture so there is like a little bit of both but I do think that for example, if you look at Islam itself I think a lot of things are very beautiful in the religion
Speaker A
but I don't think that any religion or anything I can fully ever agree with And I think also if you are truly an intelligent person, you can take criticism about anything like for example, if you look at spirituality
Speaker A
I don't agree with everything there but I like it and I believe it, I think it's a beautiful way of life But I think these people that for example, they take a religion and they say, "I am this religion"
Speaker A
and they are like very religious person they make that their character or you have someone that comes from a country they're a nationalist and they make that their character But it's like, "Who are you outside of those things?"
Speaker A
Or people that take their sexuality and they're like, "I'm this. This is my character" But it's like, "Who are you without those things?" And a lot of these things you didn't even choose It's like somebody who's tall who brags that they're tall
Speaker A
"You were born tall It's not like you earned it" Even I feel sometimes there is a lot of although I don't talk about religion in the show but I'm talking now on a general scheme I do believe there is religious racism
Speaker A
where every religion thinks they're the chosen ones and everybody else is not And I'm like, to each their own If whatever you pray to makes you feel like a better person and you are a better person, good for you
Speaker A
I'm happy with mine I hope you're happy with yours I don't need to start to shame you "Oh you're a loser and I'm the winner" Why does it have to be?
Speaker A
I never understood that I think that's the biggest ego because I feel like people a lot of people not all of them they become religious and they're like they have bigger ego now but your ego should get smaller
Speaker A
the closer you are to God If you're truly spiritual, you like humans you're a nice person you like animals, you treat people well you have good manners you don't look down on to people like, "Oh, look at Liz"
Speaker A
"She's always...' Why are you looking down? Who gave you that authority to judge? If we say only God can judge, now why are you judging?
Speaker A
But that is so funny because like a lot of religions use that "Oh but I'm advising and I'm allowed to advise you" But it's like, "No, you're judging" It's entitlement How can I advise you because look, if we're going to talk about advising
Speaker A
and judging, to do that you automatically think "I'm better" If I have to advise you on how to run a business, I think I know your business better And you didn't maybe even ask me But if you're like, "Anas,
Speaker A
I have an agency, how can I do an agency?" I'm like, "From my experience, this worked, I don't know if it's going to work for you but it worked" You're like, "Oh thanks" But if I come to you with this high horse
Speaker A
attitude I already think I'm winning better than you and I'm a better human than you so that is against spirituality and religiousness because nobody has a guarantee Nobody knows how do you seem to God Are you a good person?
Speaker A
Are you bad inside? You look a good on the society but are you dirty in the inside?
Speaker A
And we know a lot of examples This, for me I think My mother simplified it earlier in my life She said, "Your religion s between you and your Creator and it's a vertical line" It's this way, the channel is this way
Speaker A
Liz and up "Your manners are like this" So I don't mind whatever you want to do It's your choice There are people who pray to this There are people who believe this It's your personal choice Why am I jumping?
Speaker A
"No, you don't go this way" It's your channel I care how you come here, how you treat me, how you treat people, are you rude?
Speaker A
Are you nice to me? Are you polite? That's what I care about That's what affects me but people don't They need to intrude At one point, you said, that making money became an obsession for you I think you explained it
Speaker A
but there's something that I want to bring up because it was extremely strong You said something about, I don't want to say it I'd rather you say it You said something about Band-Aids Do you remember?
Speaker A
I thought, yes I think I said that in a podcast Yes, it was really nice I can repeat it You said, "I couldn't heal my family but at least I could afford a band aid over their wounds" That was so well said
Speaker A
Do you remember that? Why would you say that? Well, I think that was my reasoning and I thought like money is going to fix at least something here and it did It fixed a lot It took away a lot of stress
Speaker A
A lot of problems Obviously money doesn't fix everything but at the end of the day, it was a tool that I could use to help my family And yes, I'm happy How's your mom's mental health now?
Speaker A
My mom is really good She's a very positive person So she goes through life being very positive She's very much like me, actually We're very much the same People used to always call her "a fairy" But I do know that a lot of things have affected her
Speaker A
with the war and then my dad and then everything she went through I almost I had this thing where she came to visit me in the United States and I was making TikToks and I was making videos and I saw my mom
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she was like standing in the corner and she was looking at me and I I felt like a sadness from her but not like as in she feels bad or whatever but it was like a sadness of a life that she never got to live
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because she lived for her reputation and what she had to do and she had to be the wife and she never got out of that abusive cycle and when I catch a glimpse of that later, I really went to bed
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and I started crying because I thought if there was a door I could walk out of, and they say, "If you walk out of this door, you will not exist, I will not exist but my mom gets to live the life that she wants"
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I would walk out of that door immediately It really hurt me to know that she never got to live the life that she wanted she never got to have the freedom that she wanted and all because of what?
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Trying to be a good woman? trying to so that other people will view you as a good woman?
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Or that you endure things? What did you live for? For culture or societal approval?
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How many women are in situations right now that are living like this? That are just staying and staying because they are scared of what their family will say?
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They're scared of what society will say about them But at the end of the day, you're going to be old tomorrow and you have lived your life for other people That's the saddest way to live your life seriously
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I come from a culture, I told you this before where I'm not allowed on social media It's very dangerous for my life I get death threats all the time and literally when I was starting out my family was telling me, "Liz
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if you do this, you're going to put us all in danger" "You'll have to stop" "You can't do social media" "You have to stop" and I was doing my YouTube already then and I literally told my siblings and my family,
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"I would rather die than not live the life that I choose" and I meant that I was willing to die for this and I still am Really, this is for me not even about money anymore and all these things
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I really feel like I have a purpose and I really want to awaken people because I feel like so much fear is instilled in people and so much of their own power is going away Meanwhile, they're not living
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All of them are not living and they don't even care to see what is really going on So I really want to awaken people to realize "You can do this yourself" "You can change your life once you believe in yourself
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once you stop giving all of your power away to all of these other things" How many, for example women do we have whose only goal in life is she has to get married?
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and be a wife? What a sad way to live! Honestly, I think it's beautiful if that's what you want to do but just to be a wife to someone Who are you as a woman?
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You're so powerful You can accomplish anything you want and also still be a wife if that's what you want to be but I feel like so many cultures just appreciate you as a woman or they put value on you when you are a wife of someone
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or when you are a mother of someone but you are literally a creator and I don't even understand how in society we told women to submit to the creation When does the creator submit to the creation?
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That's not normal I think, I'm really concerned with the way the world is and I think everything is very backwards and I think it's not even good for men the way that the world is right now Because for example
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we raise men without any boundaries a lot of cultures raise men without any boundaries We say, "The woman has the honor of the family She needs to stay home She can't go outside You can't date You can't do this
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You have to protect the honor" So we raise these young girls to become very mature from a very young age What happens is they become like mothers from a young age They become very self-disciplined and very emotionally intelligent
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then you have these boys, "You do whatever you want" They're not being raised so they don't learn any skills They do they just have no boundaries They do whatever they want Now you have women that are very mature
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at a young age and you have men that are like children and they're supposed to date and procreate Relationships don't work Because now you have a mother and child dynamic where the woman is oftentimes again having to reteach this boy
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still how to be a man and it's really because of the parents because at the end of the day they always say, "Oh, yes but he's a man he's a boy boys will be boys" It's like, "No You didn't teach your son boundaries
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you didn't say 'No you can't just sleep around with everyone" "You can't just go wherever you want" "You also have a curfew, go home" You don't teach them boundaries so they become older and they just don't care about anything
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It's not good for them They don't have skills It's really not good for these men That's why the suicide rates for men are super high A lot of things you can see they're not happy even themselves We come back to creating monsters
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You create a monster the factory of a monster is the house Yes You can have a toxic human that you leave on this planet and you die or a good human There are a lot of double standards Yes, it's funny because, look
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If you listen to a typical conversation Me and you are in an event and we're standing not next to each other and we start to have conversations The man, I'll get a question "What do you do?" "That's fantastic, you do what you love?"
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Let's take you "What do you do? Are you married?" And you're like, "No" "Oh no" "I hope one day you get married" "Bye bye" Let's say you say, "Yes, I'm married" I'm like, "Do you have children?" You're like "No", I'm like,
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Suddenly your stock is going down in a most small talk event And the set of questions that get asked to a man are very different than the default set of questions that a woman gets asked A man is judged on what position he does
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or what he does for a living which is fine But then why are you tying a woman's worth or value or success She could be the greatest athlete She's in the Olympics As soon as she says she doesn't have love or marriage
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stock goes down What if she never found somebody good? What if she doesn't like it?
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She doesn't like it Then okay, let's say she's married and then you say, "But you don't have kids?" She's like, "No" and you're like...
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Now, what if she doesn't feel ready to be a parent? What if she doesn't like children?
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She doesn't like She's one of those people that she's like, "I don't want to have children" Why does everybody have to love to have kids?
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And why should I be now judged and assessed on being a mother? "I don't want to be a mother" "Do you want me to be an abusive mother?" An absent mother?
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Yes exactly You said the world is backwards I believe we're asking the wrong questions So, I remember once I said the question to a lady named Pia on this show years back and after the interview She's like, "Thank you for asking it the way you asked"
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I didn't know I'm like, "Which question?" She goes, "You asked me would you like to have children?" For me, it was natural I didn't think of it She's like, "You didn't say "Do you have children?" "Are you going to have children?"
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"You said, "Would you like to have children?" And then I thought of my question I'm like, "Oh, yes that's nicer" Because maybe somebody doesn't want Exactly Why am I like...
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She doesn't want Now I'm going to make you feel like What if a woman can't have children?
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Exactly Now I just reminded her, "You can't" by the way and she doesn't need to tell me, "I can't have children" It's very intrusive So it's the wrong question Let's say again I'll shut up after this I want to hear
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We ask Sarah "Sarah, are you married?" "Yes" Check and I move on The question is, "Are you happy?" Yes What if?
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Because I didn't ask the right question She just said, "I'm married" I'm like, "Check" But what if she's in the worst marriage?
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Yes That's the right question "Do you feel good in your job?" "Do you enjoy it?" Not "What do you do for a living?" I stopped asking sometimes I try "What is something fun you're working on?" Because if they don't go to work
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maybe they don't like their job and I'm reminding them Yes, so I'm like "What is something fun in your life?" "What are you passionate about?" And if they say "work" thank God And if they don't say "work" they don't want to talk about work
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So if I talk about marriage "Are you married?" What if they don't want? but if I'm, "You have someone in your life?" I'm like "Okay" and if they say yes, I'm like, "I hope you guys are having a healthier relationship"
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"Are you happy?" "Does he make you a better person?" Those are the questions that actually matter I agree I had a beautiful guest who's a divorce lawyer and he said Oh, I love him - I know that guy - He's great
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You have to watch the episode And he goes, "The question is Why do you want.." "I want to get married" Why?
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Yes You ask girls today and guys but maybe more girls "I would just want to find out" Why?
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"Because I want to have kids" Wrong answer " I want to get married to have kids" "So I don't care about a good man or the healthiest compatible man I want a means to a goal No Why do you want to get married?
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"I want to settle down" "I don't want to spend so much on my life" You'll have a rich guy but what if he's a liar?
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Yes true He's rich But he's giving you stress You can't sleep well Horrible Wrong answers "I want to get married because I would love to share my life and get better and level up" Now we're on to something
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"You're ready" I agree It's like a hamster wheel I feel that because it's like humans love to control so it's like they want you to act a certain way and you have to act like they all act because imagine that
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someone cannot be their authentic self and they put themselves in a box and now they see you open that box and you just go be whoever you are then I'm going to feel like, "Wait a minute I spent 20 years in this box
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for you to just open yours?" "No, get back in your box" "So I'm going to shame you for your choices because they have to align with what I did" So you can crawl back "So we suffer together" That's really how a lot of people think
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I agree It wasn't over after your dad left I read you had bulimia, anorexia severe depression This was after he left Yes Okay how?
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I really think that the thing that I had with my eating disorders I was always very skinny growing up I was actually bullied for looking anorexic and then I tried to gain weight because I was bullied so much
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but then like I gained weight I thought I looked really good but then my mom said that I was fat but I was never really fat but my mom said I was too big so then I was like,
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"Oh, so now I should lose weight" So my whole life I was actually really listening to other people and just doing what they want and how they want me to be So then I'm going to be liked or then I'm going to fit in
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but that specifically when I had bulimia and my eating disorders after my dad left, it was more so because I think I couldn't deal with the emotions that came after realizing everything that had happened Because now I had to deal with 19 years of abuse that had happened
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and I wasn't ready to deal with that and I think especially with the bulimia with the anorexia where like I would go days without eating or sometimes I wouldn't even drink anything either I thought like this is going to lead to suicide
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and I wasn't trying to be skinny I was trying to die, actually I even had days where my mom would come into the room and she would check if I was still breathing cause I hadn't left my room
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in like two days maybe Yes, I remember sometimes my heart would start beating right before I went to bed and I was like, "Yes, tonight is the night" Because I felt like suicide would be bad because it wasn't allowed in the religion
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so I thought this is an alternative but I didn't die Now we don't have to do that again What shook you when you first remembered?
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Two minutes ago when you first said "I was waiting to die" You shook Your body shook for a moment you remembered, I think I think I just saw myself again in my bed how that felt Do you recognize that Liz?
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Yes Yes I feel very sad when I think about my younger selves I also think that your inner children never leave you They stay with you You said "children" not "child" - Interesting - Different types Let's say you have different types of traumas
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and you remember at different ages those are all these children different personalities Because the more you grow up You always are a different person So Liz at 3 years old Liz at 6 years old That's not the same person
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These are all different personalities I think they never leave you I think that's why it's very important to talk to yourself, talk to your inner children because I think a lot of adults that are almost acting crazy or people say they're possessed
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or something is wrong with them I think it's their inner children conflicting with each other I actually had a story about this but I don't know if I can tell it Tell it So I went on this spiritual journey
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- In Peru? - Yes, once And it was basically You went to Peru with the shamans Yes, with the shamans and everything Basically, my intention was to heal my trauma and suddenly I saw a vision and it was my dad's
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and I heard a voice say, "Mourn the loss of your father" "You never had a father, you had an abuser" So, then I was like "Damn" And then I heard another voice say "Mourn the loss of your childhood"
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Accept that you'll never have a childhood again and then suddenly what happened is I was like in third person almost like my soul was here I saw my body and I suddenly turned into my 3-year-old-self and it was so such a crazy thing
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so my 3-year-old-self is in my body doesn't speak English only speaks my homeland's language and I start crying, bawling my eyes out and she's crying and she keeps repeating in the language of her hometown, "Liz never got love when she was younger
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so Liz doesn't need love anymore" and she keeps repeating that and then I have my hands and I'm not controlling this My hand is moving over my head and someone is consoling her but it was so weird and they go like,
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"You're safe now" "It's not happening anymore, you're safe now" but it was my 3-year-old inner child that came up and then after that there was a 17-year-old that came up She had her own other issues She speaks different languages
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but then I realized our inner children are really inside of us It's not like, "Oh, it's a metaphor" I think these personalities stay stuck and once you don't deal with them or you don't heal them you start conflicting
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and you become like an adult where you're lost with how you are acting So it was a very interesting experience for me It was even crazier because the next day So basically it was like about my childhood and everything
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It was a very beautiful experience but the next day I went to this cafe and I was sitting there at the restaurant with my sister and suddenly there's this lady in front of us and she starts live singing
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she was singing The sun was setting behind her It was like a movie scene and I was looking at her and she starts singing for Adele I don't know the song but it's like "I knew this would be the last time
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the last time" and then a mom and dad and this 12-year-old girl come and they start dancing in front of us and she's singing "I knew this would be the last time" and it was almost like a whole metaphor and sign of
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"Mourn the loss of your childhood" - Close it - Yes And that's how I was like We get so many signs every day when we live We just have to watch out for them Even if like a person comes to you
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they say something to you and you're like, "Oh damn, where did that come from?" Maybe he was sent to you as a sign or you see these things or you even hear something on the radio "Oh wait a minute"
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Good story When did it all change? You said "Blame gives your power away, responsibility gives it back" So you just talked about this realisation You need to close certain chapters you went through this bulimia anorexia depression wanting to die
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When did that happen? Is it slowly? Is it like a sudden realization? I was honestly this went on for quite a while until I realized How about I'm going to stop being a victim?
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That's really like what I had in my head "Snap out of it" because I was like, "Why are you victimizing yourself?" "Why are you feeling sorry for yourself?" then I was like, "Maybe I do have control over my life"
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"Maybe I do have control over my body" and from that moment on I just started slowly to "I'm going to go on walks now and I'm going to try to talk to God and have conversations with God He's my best friend"
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and then I was like, "I'm going to try to start eating healthy again" Because for me it was very important to break the cycle of my food addiction and the anorexia and whatever I had because if you can do that
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if you can break an addiction, you can control anything It's very hard to win something over your mind If you can control your mind like that you can do anything so I knew that once I did that I was on the right track
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because also it takes a lot of energy Addictions take a lot of energy All of your energy goes there Meanwhile, if you are a person with an addictive personality if you put it into something that's beneficial for you
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you can be extremely successful True It's just where you're going to direct your energy to So then I decided, "Let me direct it into social media Let me do things that I love more" and all these things And that's when honestly
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everything started to flourish When I decided I do not want to be a victim until this day I don't want to be seen as a victim because I feel like people are very comfortable in a victim mindset because they feel like, "Oh,
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everyone feels sorry for me" and even some people will create situations where they are the victim because then everyone can feel sorry for them and that's how they receive love or that's how they receive "Everything will be fine"
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But at the end of the day Does that really accomplish anything? No You're going to sit there You're going to find more and more excuses as to why your life is bad and why you can't accomplish anything And you won't accomplish anything
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but for a lot of people that is comfortable and that is what they want but for me, no because I knew that the more I am a victim, the more I'm giving my power away If I for example say,
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"I can't do this because my father abused me" then that means that my father had all the power and he doesn't, I have all the power until this day I have all the power No matter what happens to me,
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I know that I have all the power I can change the situation whenever I want and I will change the situation whenever I want Is that you talking to yourself?
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Maybe but I also really believe it But sometimes we have to talk to ourselves We need us to hear it So we say things we want somebody to say to us It also with the situation that happened with my ex and all these things
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it's funny cause when you were talking about how they ask you about marriage and then they say "Oh no, you failed if you didn't have a marriage" It's so crazy because with me it was like I've been on social media for seven years now
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I've been doing YouTube, I've been doing everything I built this whole empire by myself and then this guy comes in, he cheats on me, that's it Everyone: "She failed" Terrible "We shouldn't listen to her advice look at her"
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"He cheated on her so we should cancel her" It's so crazy that this one guy so irrelevant to be honest to the whole thing comes in and can just destroy that because people value a relationship more than they
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look at the whole person and everything But even in that situation, everyone was like "You should have kept that private" and I could have I could have never shared it online that he cheated I could have never said anything about that
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and people would till this day be like, "Oh goals" "You guys are so beautiful" That's also what most people do Most of these couples forgive each other they just portray a nice image and I get it because if you're truly honest on social media
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they're going to try to kill you They don't want that People say they want authenticity they want that, but they don't They want you to fit into the image that they have created for you and you have to perform like that
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almost like a monkey You do this I say, "People ask you they tell you they love honesty, until you're honest about them" Exactly They don't like it Then it's like, "This is too far" My therapist said something and he says
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that doesn't compliment so much but he said, "You're one of my few people that really can take anything I tell you" "You don't get offended" Because I don't, you can say "Anas, that's stupid" I'm like, "Oh really?" "Tell me why"
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because I respect him I don't get offended No, I'm open to it So I can take it...
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I think because I'm at peace with my ego I know I'm flawed You can tell me, "Anas, that looked really bad" I'm like, okay Maybe it did It's okay, it doesn't reduce my value Exactly I made a mistake
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I think that's very important to be open to receiving criticism all these things but a lot of people are very stupid I have to say, I think society in general a lot of people are very stupid that is what I find very annoying
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but also they're stupid because - Not stupid - It's by design But also it's because I think a lack of education lack of traveling and meeting new cultures that also makes you whatever and also they have a bubble and they don't leave the bubble
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And they don't want you to leave the bubble Yes, so it's like if you only surround yourself with a certain type of people you're going to think this is how life is that's why I always encourage people to travel
Speaker A
I just got such a stupid example What? It's like a culture that now they all like matcha and we're like, "I don't like matcha" "You don't like matcha?" "How dare you?" It's like a zombie complex Now you're uncool
Speaker A
I don't like it It's funny because all of us have to like it "You don't like this show?" "Oh my God" That's it, you're done "I can't believe you don't like it" I don't like it You have to be comfortable saying you're different
Speaker A
It's not easy That's why I really grew up wanting to always fit in and then at some point I realized no one wants to take me I can't fit in anywhere, so I thought like "You know what? I don't care anymore"
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"I'm going to be my own person and that's it" And you'll fit with the right people then But even then I don't fit in No one accepts me Really?
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Often, even in the beginning of my career They said that I'm a closeted lesbian So I thought, "Oh, maybe I fit in here" I look at the comments, they say, "We don't claim her" I'm like, "Why?" "Why don't you claim me?"
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Yes but I would see that some people would want to be your friend No, I do think they want to be my friends but I don't feel like there is any part that you can "She really belongs here"
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Even with like when people ask me "Where are you from?" I never really want to even speak about it because it doesn't matter I'm a person of the world I think you belong nowhere and everywhere Something like that
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Yes, exactly, that's so beautiful Do you hate your father? No I don't hate him I just don't care about him I think he's so irrelevant Do you understand why he did what he did?
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No I don't get it I can see that you had this childhood, etcetera all these things but especially after having my own child, no The fact that you would hurt a child, that you would beat a child, that you would beat disabled people
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No, you're insane Did creating The Wizard Liz heal Liz? I do think so, yes I think my younger self would really think I'm cool - That's cool - Right?
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Would your younger self think you're cool? I think yes That's good I think you think I'm fucking cool Yes, you are Yes And it's funny how you get shy when you compliment yourself Why?
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I don't know, you tell me You're like, "...' and then I'm like, Maybe I'm just a shy girl I think you are I think people don't know that you are but if somebody compliments you in your face I think you don't know what to do with yourself
Speaker A
Yes I'm better at giving to other people - Giving compliments - Not receiving With receiving, I'm a little awkward I could tell What is one of the biggest misconceptions about The Wizard liz?
Speaker A
Honestly, It's like that I'm like The craziest thing I heard is that I was a relationship coach and that I teach women how to date rich men Crazy It just started when I got cheated on All these people came online and they're like,
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"She was a relationship coach and that's why she failed" And I was like, "I was never a relationship coach like at all" I just think like when people listen to me for example I say, "Your man should provide"
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I'm not saying he should be a rich man like if a man is an Uber driver but he's coming home and he's helping you and the family that's a provider Correct If you have a rich man and he's not giving any money
Speaker A
or he doesn't care about you guys He's not rich to me, he's a broke guy And he's not a provider He's not a provider Rich but not a provider So, that is not what I mean but people here think that a provider
Speaker A
has to be rich, no Not at all Even all the guys that I've dated I made more money than them when I dated my ex before this one in the beginning, I didn't have money So he was making good money
Speaker A
but then six months into our relationship my YouTube started making way more than him but then also the relationship started shifting I mean, we were together for a long time, still Some people don't want you to be better
Speaker A
He wasn't comfortable He told me that, as well He said like, "Look, I don't like it" At least he's honest He was honest I appreciate that Because for example Because some people won't be honest about that they'll start jabbing at you and bringing you down
Speaker A
and you're like, "Why are you upset with me?? and you don't really know why I feel like my next relationship was like that It was like a constant competition I've really found it difficult with dating men after becoming successful because it's like
Speaker A
either they see you as their competition or they're gold diggers I've never You know when they say that women are gold diggers?
Speaker A
No, it's really men Because they will because if a woman if you take care of a woman for example, she will love you, genuinely You take care of her She will be so happy She will give you so much more
Speaker A
But a man will fake his love, everything just for money Genuinely You don't think a woman would do that?
Speaker A
I don't think so I think she would genuinely love the guy I think it goes both ways You think so?
Speaker A
Some women also are very materialistic and some men are very materialistic If a woman is materialistic, don't you think she would still love him?
Speaker A
I don't know I think some women are in certain marriages just because the guy is filthy rich - They're probably - Oh, yes They're not even in love or they don't love the guy but then I also think, look
Speaker A
in those types of relationships Yes, it's transactional Don't you think the man also doesn't care?
Speaker A
He knows, yes They're both cheating They're both the same Probably They're both not looking for love That's true They're looking for money One knows "I can provide and this makes me feel powerful" and the other one feels stable
Speaker A
Yes, but I think every relationship is transactional even the ones that are based on love - Even friendships - Yes Everything is transactional And we should not be shy to say that Everything and I think we should be open about it
Speaker A
You could say "This is my friend who I like to go shopping with" "This is my friend who makes me laugh when I'm feeling like shit" or like, "You make me feel less lonely" "You make me feel like this"
Speaker A
Everything is like a transaction and I think a lot of people they just take "Oh, it's just love and only love" Only love, you will not survive You need loyalty You need respect Love will never be enough I agree
Speaker A
I really believe that someone can love you and they can also cheat on you I believe this Because there are people that are polygamous, for example and they say, "But I really love the person but I also sleep with other people"
Speaker A
I do believe they love the person I don't believe they're capable of being loyal Which for, me loyalty is more important Loyalty is more important than love If I have someone, of course love is a chemical It's very beautiful, all these things
Speaker A
but oftentimes love wears out and it's not always You're not crazy in love every day but I feel like if you have loyalty and "This person is going to protect me "They're going to be there for me and they're going to respect me"
Speaker A
I feel like that is something that can be consistent You know what's interesting? There was a fan account that made a compilation video recently of me asking different females on the show "What does love mean to you?" It's a question I like to ask
Speaker A
and I think there was maybe eight women in the video I think six said, "Aman" which means safety Yes - Interesting, right? - Exactly Six out of eight women said that love is safety I want to feel safe
Speaker A
Her nervous system feels safe She feels safe He's reliable He's a backbone He provides You know I think that's very sexy when a man can provide like you said, at any level he's reliable He makes you feel like he has your back
Speaker A
I think women love that It makes your nervous system I said the something in both languages before I said, "When a woman is truly in love, she feels like a little girl like a princess" No matter how masculine of an energy she has outside
Speaker A
At home she's a little girl and the same goes for a man A man who feels truly in love He feels like a little naughty boy at home He's pranking you or laughing with you, silly Women should understand that
Speaker A
that's him really loving you He's so comfortable and vice versa if a woman feels like she's spoiled next to you and she's cuddly You should know that she feels good around you - I think that's safety - But if she's stern
Speaker A
tough with you and she's trying to bash heads with you there's something off you don't make her feel safe or she doesn't know how to She's in the wrong dynamic probably Exactly I think especially in my position where
Speaker A
people try to cancel you and your reputation all these things the people around you should be very loyal because they have to protect you and I feel like in a previous relationship that I had it was like my address gets leaked where I live
Speaker A
and this person they do it on accident All my privacy suddenly can't see being online you're allowing these people to attack me and come closer to me on a personal level and I feel like if you truly love me
Speaker A
or you care about me you would protect my privacy That was the one thing that I really looked for and it was like I just want to feel safe Who are you attracting, Liz?
Speaker A
I know, horrible - No, horrible - You need to work on that I need to stop If you learn you evolve if you don't learn Like these people that keep repeating patterns that's the problem I know I think it's okay to go through
Speaker A
an affair and then learn You got cheated on you learn you got through emotional abuse you learn but if you keep going to it then you're not learning No, I feel like...
Speaker A
I only had like two really serious relationships My last one really opened my eyes and I feel like after that now I'm going to but also I hate the fact that You constantly have to watch out for signs
Speaker A
"Oh, he says this, oh okay" "I need to do this" It's like, "Calm down, When can we ever enjoy?" all these things, because now it's turning into all these mind games that you have to play and who has time for that?
Speaker A
I don't want to do that I definitely don't I can't stand games I already know that I'm in the wrong place if there are games Me too I already have enough stress in my life Yes, me too I even hate it when it's like,
Speaker A
"Oh, don't text too fast" Just be straightforward I don't have time for this If I find this meme I'll send it to you about Who has time for waiting to text?
Speaker A
Yes exactly That's when too much ego is involved Because even after my previous relationship I still don't want to do all of that I have to play mind games now I have to be careful of this and that
Speaker A
At the end of the day, if a person wants to cheat, they're going to do it anyways You can't control that No The only thing you can control is your reaction will you deal with it or will you not deal with it?
Speaker A
That's it So I don't want to control anyone Do what you want to do On the polygamy point I think it was an interesting point and I do think sometimes both genders could be biologically polygamous Because they're based on desire
Speaker A
So I just maybe I'll make a weird comparison but I'll make it It's kind of like your stomach when it's hungry It can eat anything It can be junk food It can eat chocolate It can eat salmon It can eat healthy
Speaker A
Technically, you can eat anything because you desire food You're hungry Should you eat everything?
Speaker A
Yes exactly and I think women are a bit of course they have a different wiring than men Men are probably more simplistic in this But do you jump on everything?
Speaker A
Or you say "I love this woman" "She's good to me" "She loves my presence" She's been with me in thick and thin Does my desire want everything?
Speaker A
Probably A creature in the end Yes But do you go to it? That's the discipline and that's the boundary you put you don't go replying and messaging every girl and you're committed to someone so that's where I think
Speaker A
people are not talking about the discipline of a relationship I agree Because if he's just going to go over your feelings, when he upsets you you're going to go message your ex Exactly Should you do that? No Because there is respect
Speaker A
It's like I'm thinking in Arabic You should never How do you say it in English?
Speaker A
Say it in Arabic "You don't have the heart to do it" You're so dear to me that I would not accept it on you even if I'm pissed off at you You're too dear for me to hurt you behind your back
Speaker A
You're too dear and if your girl is your lover and your best friend or your close friend and your partner I think it makes it very hard to break that heart but if it's just the mother of my kids or my wife
Speaker A
I think the relationship is too thin You need a strong bond But see? That's where loyalty comes in Because I am like, when I'm in love, I'm like "That's it, I'm going to die with you" I'm literally that kind of person
Speaker A
I could see that - I love very hard - Ride or die that's why when these things happen I'm very hurt because I would not do that to you You You wouldn't Not everybody's you That's true That's what a therapist told me
Speaker A
"You need to stop thinking that" Because we judge things with our glasses how we see the world So when somebody does something we wouldn't, we're like "I can't believe it" If somebody doesn't hug or love dogs and you love dogs
Speaker A
You're like, "I can't believe it" It's because you're looking at it from but that's only one perspective That's true Do you practice everything you preach?
Speaker A
Well, I've talked about a lot of things so I don't know if One thing with my previous relationship after he cheated on me I immediately broke off our relationship but then when I was pregnant I thought to myself,
Speaker A
"But my child still needs his father" and I would never take away a parent from their child, ever unless he's abusive or whatever So I thought in that moment, so he cheated on me Some men cheat on women
Speaker A
but they're good with the children They're good fathers, still So I thought "You know what? He really wanted to be a father" He was begging me "Let me please be a father" "Let me prove myself" So I was like, "Okay fine"
Speaker A
So then I was thinking, so my cats were in the United States everything was already there I was like, "Okay, where do I move to?
Speaker A
because if I move back to Dubai it's an 18-hour flight for him He will not be able to be present for his child So I was like, You know what?
Speaker A
"Let me just move to the United States my stuff is there anyways I'm going to move there We can co-parent for our child but when I moved to the United States I walked into a trap and he just completely
Speaker A
trapped me there and he was like... I stayed so long there for my child and I completely abandoned myself and everything I believed in for my child and that's something I always used to think I would never do
Speaker A
but once you become a mother there is nothing you wouldn't do for your child So I was in a situation where I was paying for everything This guy is just living in my house I'm scared to kick him out
Speaker A
because anytime I would say like, He would do anything He would basically say, "I'm going to call ICE on you or I'm going to get you deported" so I was scared if I get deported I can't be with my child
Speaker A
so I was just sticking around someone mentally abusive Abusive in every way and I was literally like, "Oh my God" "I'm literally repeating what my mother has done" "I'm in the same situation right now" and I was like, "What do I do?"
Speaker A
and I literally came to a point where I could see everything but it was like I couldn't move My body couldn't move anymore So it's like my soul watching everything that's happening but my body is just not cooperating anymore and I was done
Speaker A
also I like gave birth I'm postpartum I'm working my ass off I'm taking care of my child It was just too much for me and I remember Actually, you know I used to always say, "Nobody's coming to save you"
Speaker A
That's what I used to always say Because I felt like no one had ever saved me I had to save myself But my sister she actually came all the way from Belgium She flew to the United States Because my mom had came to visit
Speaker A
and she saw the state that I was in and she said, "Sabina you have to go" "Your sister's actually in trouble" And my sister came and I remember that's the first time where I realized that somebody came to save me
Speaker A
and it was my sister Because she looked at me and she told me, "Liz, you're going to pack your stuff and you're going to leave" "I don't care what you leave behind, but you're not going to live like this"
Speaker A
And I told her, "You don't understand, You're not a mother You don't feel what I feel You don't get it" And she said, "Liz, our mom has already gone through this, I will be damned if you go through this as well"
Speaker A
And that was like, everything just switched for me in that moment I was like, "I have to leave" If I stay any longer, I don't think I will survive" I was even developing rashes all over my body from the immense stress I was in every day
Speaker A
But then obviously when I left the country then my visa got denied I thought I was going to go back in I had my own house by then So we could do 50/50 custody but my visa got denied
Speaker A
so then he had been keeping the child from me because he thought If I abandon him, I'm abandoning my child So it's like a package deal if I want my child, I have to take him but I don't want
Speaker A
So... but now I'm working with lawyers I'm assuming there are a lot of rights in America for you to I mean, yes It should be really good Let's see I already spent $50,000 on lawyers I didn't get anything out of it
Speaker A
so I hate the fact of just throwing money in the garbage You can donate that money You can help people Why would I do this?
Speaker A
But now like there's another way that I could try which obviously I'm going to do I really love my child so I want to be with my child but I do believe if a man is blackmailing you with your child
Speaker A
You shouldn't even fight for it I really believe that How? What do you mean?
Speaker A
For example, He is constantly blackmailing me, right? When I show Don't fall it Don't fall for any blackmail If someone tells you, "If you don't listen to me I'm going to leak your nudes" "I'm going to do this" Do it
Speaker A
Because the only power these people have over you is that you are scared That's it and that's the same thing with my dad We were scared of him That's the only power he had Once my brother even started growing up
Speaker A
And my brother does Thai box and he started going head to head with my dad and trying to fight him He started getting scared He told my mom, "Yes, I got a second wife because the children don't respect me anymore
Speaker A
No, the children are not scared of you anymore And that's why it wasn't interesting for him anymore to even be there He combines fear with respect Yes And that's two different things Respect is when you leave the house
Speaker A
how we talk about you That's respect Yes I'm afraid of you as soon as you come I'm a good boy Leave, I have a party - Exactly - That's not respect Respect is even on the weekend in high school
Speaker A
I could have a house party but I'm like I wouldn't want to disappoint my family Not out of fear, out of love and respect I don't want to disappoint my family I would not do that Yes, to your question
Speaker A
I feel like deciding to still go to the United States after he cheated on me was me not following my advice but at the same time because I never had a father and that was so damaging for me
Speaker A
I didn't want to do that to my child But yes The biggest price I ever paid was falling in love with someone I've never paid a price this big You paid it, it's over You had a souvenir, though
Speaker A
True But I want to get my souvenir I think you would You know what's crazy?
Speaker A
This is another thing Women go through childbirth Women go through everything And this man can just keep the child I don't understand how they can have equal rights in that I don't get it because they don't go through anything
Speaker A
I really believe if men could get pregnant and if men could literally have children they would be walking around on this planet acting like they're gods I really believe that we would have to give offerings at their feet
Speaker A
I swear to God, they would act like they're gods Men have really a lot of standards for women Some of them without this skin they're already acting like God Exactly, already without that They're literally like portraying themselves as God
Speaker A
Look, I'm not saying this to appeal to females I truly believe this There's no more powerful creature on this planet than a good woman I really believe that, too No more I truly believe a woman makes the house
Speaker A
right or wrong A house with no good woman has no soul Yes, very true Everybody, the father can be there We're all there Let the woman leave, no soul That beautiful glue that keeps us together is the woman
Speaker A
And she makes the next generation Not the father I do believe we're important but not as important How many great personalities have come out of great single women?
Speaker A
Versus how many came from a single dad? I think, I would bet I don't have the statistic but I would bet on a single mom they would come out more successful usually I'm a father of two I'm divorced
Speaker A
but I do think I'm important at a later stage more than at an early stage Now, they're my buddies We play football It's different But can I undermine how important my ex-wife is?
Speaker A
Never They're great boys mainly because of her 100% I was present but my presence has nothing to do with the woman Same as my mother Without her...
Speaker A
I think that's so important If you have men that acknowledge that and don't feel intimidated by it Yes, that's a big issue I also feel like mothers are not appreciated in society because they don't appreciate themselves They just go through childbirth
Speaker A
Oh my God My childbirth was traumatizing Really? I almost lost my life The doctor literally told me because I had an emergency C-section and he was like, "Do you have a will?" Yes, he was like and I was like, "Whoa
Speaker A
wait a minute' I didn't know you could die I thought this was all like rainbow and sunshine and then I was like, "Damn" I need to quickly give my sister The PIN code to my bank account because I might not come out of the room
Speaker A
So every woman that has given birth you stand between death and life and they act like I ate breakfast It's the same thing as eating breakfast but if a man was doing that Oh, dear Lord you would have parades every week
Speaker A
for these men Why do you think so many women connect to you? I honestly think it's because probably they went through the same things and also I think it's just refreshing to see someone bring up things that they might feel still ashamed about
Speaker A
That's why I would love to see myself when I was younger I'm so ashamed to talk about this but she can do it and she dares to say it For example, I had this speech at Oxford University I don't think they're ever going to release it
Speaker A
anyways I did this speech about female empowerment and after I was done all of these women came to me and they said, "You finally said what I never dared to say" "What I just think but I never dared to say it"
Speaker A
And I think that resonates with a lot of women Because also people think I'm just a man-hater No, I'm not a man-hater I don't care at all about men I don't care about women Honestly, I realized I hate everyone
Speaker A
I just don't discriminate in my hate I think both genders have flaws whatever, but I I'll just correct something and I might be wrong I don't think you hate I think you're disappointed I am disappointed but you know it's just
Speaker A
everyone thinks like If you're standing up for women, that means you like all women but that's also not true because a lot of women are the reason for a lot of women's misery A lot of women get bullied by other women
Speaker A
or they lose their lives because of another woman and they need to be held accountable the same way you hold accountable a toxic man, for example So yes, I just think that's just society After my situation, with the
Speaker A
whole cheating and stuff I started to, because before I was like "All women are good" and that's it but then I started to realize "Damn" There are flaws in both genders Marina Abramovic, do you know her?
Speaker A
She does art She makes art and she's very special I like her a lot People think she's a witch and they hate her and whatever but she also came from an abused childhood So I understand her art but maybe she's also a witch
Speaker A
Who cares? - Anyways - Exactly It's her hobby She's flying on a boat That's what she does in her free time I don't care She had this art piece It's on YouTube She was standing and she basically had roses, knife
Speaker A
You could take anything and she said, "You can do anything to me as you choose" to the public and there were men in the public and women So people started...
Speaker A
They started drawing on her body They started giving her roses giving her chocolate and then as time progressed they started getting more aggressive and aggressive people start cutting her clothes Men start touching her breast whatever, all these things
Speaker A
She wouldn't move and then they started getting really aggressive Someone cut her in the neck really bad all these things but afterwards she said, ''You know? I realized one thing The men, they would come up and they would do whatever they wanted to me
Speaker A
as time progressed " But she said, "But the women were as bad but they were hypocrite about it" Because they were in the men's ears and they would tell them what they should do to her but they wouldn't go themselves
Speaker A
they would let the men do it And I think, honestly We live in a society where a lot of women are ruling I even believe we can even say it could be a matriarchy because a lot of these men are in power
Speaker A
but you will also have women in their ears and that's what people are not looking at and in a lot of even families The woman is ruling the household but the man is just the one acting out So I think you have to be careful of both genders
Speaker A
especially if you are a successful woman You have to be very careful because they're going to hit you at both angles This is an interesting conversation overall This one, we talked about How did it feel?
Speaker A
being 4 months pregnant with the love of your life as you thought then you find out he's cheating?
Speaker A
Honestly, my whole world collapsed But you know what's crazy? Yes, I read that you said that it was too good to be true that there was always something in you feeling Exactly I was going to say that My intuition since the beginning was
Speaker A
screaming at me I always was like, "He's a cheater" And I don't know why I just had intuitively that feeling and I used to always tell my sister because she was also always around us And I used to always tell her,
Speaker A
"I think he's a cheater" but she's like, "Are you insane?" "He's always with you" "Even if I told him go to the United States, go be with your family, leave me alone" because he was annoying a little bit
Speaker A
too much but he wouldn't leave, he would not go So my sister was like, "If he was cheating he would want to go because he wants to do whatever Good point and then I was like, "Yes, you're right"
Speaker A
and she was like, "Liz, you're self-sabotaging because of trauma" And I was like, "Yes, you're probably right" "He's not" But it wouldn't leave this nudge that I had and I remember I kept telling him throughout our relationship, ''I would rather have you leave me
Speaker A
than betray me'' I said, "If you ever have the feeling that you want to cheat, or betray me, just leave me" "Don't do that to me" but he heard that and he said, "That's exactly what I'm going to do to you"
Speaker A
So he basically went Oh, before that I remember I was in Dubai and he went to Dallas for one week or so after we had spent three months together in Switzerland I was in Dubai to collect some last of my stuff
Speaker A
and I remember I was sleeping and suddenly I have a dream and my dreams are very vivid If I dream something, it happens So I had a dream and in that dream he was with another girl He was cheating on me
Speaker A
and I told him, "What are you doing?" and I told the girl, "What are you guys doing?" The girl looked at me She was confused "Why are you upset?" And then he was manipulating me in the dream to think that this was normal
Speaker A
and then I was like, "What is going on?" and then I remember I texted him and I FaceTimed him "Are you cheating on me?" "I had this dream" "It's very weird" And he's like, "You're crazy" I was like, "Yes,
Speaker A
I don't know" Then what happened is that for my birthday we went to London so we met up in London and suddenly, I'm sleeping next to him I get the exact same dream but this time I wake up from the dream with heartbreak
Speaker A
My heart felt broken like it had actually happened So I wake him up, I said, This was the second time I dreamt this I said, "Are you cheating on me?
Speaker A
I have the exact same dream" and he's like, "No You're crazy. Are you insane?" And then my sister was also there My sister is always there So he's like, "Sabina, Your sister is insane your sister is crazy, look what she's saying again"
Speaker A
And I said to her, "I had this dream twice now I woke up with heartbreak" there's no way" And she said, "Liz, don't, don't" We went to walk and I was in a park with my sister I said, "Sabina, it doesn't feel right"
Speaker A
She said, "Liz, okay listen, let's pray to God let's pray together and we're going to ask God now to reveal the truth" I said "Okay" So we prayed together We said, "God, please reveal the truth about these dreams"
Speaker A
We said, "Don't just give us dreams, give us exact evidence" So then what happened three days later I leave to go to Belgium I had to wait there before I went to the United States I go to Belgium
Speaker A
I'm sitting and this girl had messaged my friend and she basically said, "I have some evidence about your fiance" She had found my friend who has no followers so she could reach me and then I told Sabina But do you know what was even crazier?
Speaker A
I was going to bed a day before and I was researching for my Oxford speech all these things about feminism and suddenly whilst I'm going to bed this place really started hurting which is like your third eye you know, intuition
Speaker A
started really hurting and I was thinking like, "This is a sign, this is weird Why is this hurting?
Speaker A
What am I going to find out?" and then I went to sleep I wake up from it and a mosquito had bit me right here again on my third eye and I was like, "Something is about to happen"
Speaker A
Something is very weird then what happens I wake up the next day, I get those message My friend gets those messages I told her, "Ask her what it is" and I told Sabina Sabina said, "It's probably nothing, probably from something before"
Speaker A
Because even then we couldn't believe it because this guy I swear he needs to go to Hollywood Give him an Oscar right now The way he played himself Insane I've never seen something like this So then we're sitting in the car and
Speaker A
it was time change, whatever and the girl, she wakes up She sends the messages that he sent and he's saying, "Are you in Dallas?" He's trying to meet up with her and he's telling her that this was just like
Speaker A
an internet long-distance relationship Internet long-distance but I'm pregnant I was not aware Basically, literally when I found that out no, my heart dropped into my stomach I was shocked I started crying immediately I was shocked I literally thought I was going to miscarry my child
Speaker A
because the two days after I couldn't sleep, I didn't eat Yes, I was shocked and then I just confronted him and he was like, "I'm so sorry" then afterwards he told me he had been cheating on me since December
Speaker A
We got engaged in September How is that even possible? It's possible But honestly that made me I needed that I really needed that hurt because that just awakened something in me the fire, the passion that I had it awakened and also
Speaker A
I started caring less about everything because I cared like too much and I was starting to get too shy even to speak or to do whatever and he just awakened me and actually I'm very, very happy this happened
Speaker A
- I needed this - Really? I genuinely am, I needed this You needed more hurt in your life?
Speaker A
No, I just needed this because it woke me up It did something inside of me where I was like, "Oh wow" Do you still believe in love?
Speaker A
Yes, I do Yes It's a good start But you know I think I'm too delusional No, I know I know people who I could be very skeptical because I see a lot of trash relationships and miserable relationships Not necessarily toxic, just not good ones
Speaker A
but I know some people with good marriages Few but they're good, Liz So do I say it's impossible? No Do I say it's rare? Yes Because I don't want to say roommate-kind-of marriages I don't want to say boring, miserable
Speaker A
because there are too many of those I mean healthy like they laugh a lot They like each other That's nice and I like to talk about the word "like" more than "love" because I think like is more important than love
Speaker A
and I'll explain why If I love you, I love you, true it's a big emotion and I'm devoted to you but it's very conditional on our relationship If we stop I will stop loving you and I'll move on
Speaker A
but if I like you, I like you as a human I like you whether you're with me or not I like you, I'm a fan I'm like, "She's fucking cool" "Well, good for her "She started a business, good"
Speaker A
"She has kids" I'm so happy because I like you So I think we undermine how important it is to like the person you're with - That's right - Not just love them but they don't like them I feel like you should be like best friends
Speaker A
In today's modern age, I don't think it works otherwise But that is also the most fun because you support each other You grow together That's really nice I think it's good that you still have hope Yes What does love mean to you today?
Speaker A
After all that you've learned Honestly, love just means having fun together I really think like now in a relationship I'm looking just to have fun and just enjoy life It's almost like I came so far I accomplished so much
Speaker A
I just want to enjoy life now I don't want to keep going through lessons I just want to really start enjoying my life and I feel like having a partner to do that with is a lot of fun
Speaker A
So I think that's what love is Has becoming a mother changed you? Yes, a lot I think it made me way more confident Really?
Speaker A
Also very more fierce Because The instinct The instinct and the thing you feel over your child it's like, "Don't play with me now" I may look nice but I'm not that nice I still have my father's DNA in me
Speaker A
when it comes to my child If you were to see your son tomorrow What would you do?
Speaker A
Oh my God, I would be so happy I would first close my doors get security guards so no one steals him again Oh my God, stop, I would eat him I love him so much When was the last time you saw him in front of you?
Speaker A
I think the 26th of April So it's been almost three months now It's also not good for his brain For me, this is so selfish to do Because you and me don't work out, he shouldn't suffer I'm his mother
Speaker A
He needs his mother, it's an infant At the end of the day I was thinking about it Imagine that I was not in his life anymore Okay, I say when he's 12 years old he can decide for himself where he wants to live
Speaker A
I was thinking when I was younger I was always thinking to myself I hope...
Speaker A
This is so crazy but I was always thinking I hope I'm adopted somewhere and these adoptive parents are rich Are rich?
Speaker A
And I was thinking like they're going to ask for me back At any moment So I'm thinking like If I were to never see him until he's tall he's going to grow up financially struggling but then he would realize, "I have a rich mother"
Speaker A
So he's living my dream That's strange a lot of shit repeats in your life Yes actually But anyways I will get him, no way No way I can keep it till 12 What's the biggest lie you were ever told as a child?
Speaker A
That's a good question the biggest lie I was told a lot of lies The biggest lie that I was told was if I was to live the way that I wanted and freedom that I was going to get killed
Speaker A
That was what everyone told me "You're going to die" That's a big lie But yes "Damn" That's a big one for a child No, but that was always the case You know what I realized?
Speaker A
Once you break a boundary, that other people were afraid to break because they think you're going to die then you realize, "Oh wait, it wasn't that scary" And then these people also move there That's why it's so important
Speaker A
people, they think like "If I want to make an impact I need to make a big impact" "I need to do worldwide" But you don't need to You as a woman, for example if you are living your best life,
Speaker A
you just choose yourself you don't accept abuse, whatever you are inspiring your little niece you are inspiring even your little cousin All these people are looking at you they're inspired by you just living your best life So I feel like what you create or whatever
Speaker A
people only think it's valuable when it's worldwide but it's always valuable even if it's in your own family even if it's something so small even if it's something that just makes you happy it's valuable That's true If you just wake up
Speaker A
and you're happy to live your life I think that's a good life whatever you do, if you are happy overall, not every day but overall you're like, "You know, my life is good" "I'm happy I have this life"
Speaker A
It's a good life That's right If you could meet your mother when she was young what would you tell her?
Speaker A
I would tell her to never get married But then you wouldn't exist I would still say that You said you would even give your life for her to have a chance Do you act confident or are you confident?
Speaker A
I honestly am confident but look it looks insecure even saying that No, it doesn't have to It's weird to say, "Yes, I am confident" I think I'm confident but I think confidence also has departments I could be confident on a bicycle
Speaker A
but if you put me on a skateboard I'm not so confident so I think confidence is like that I could be a good public speaker but maybe bad in something else I think my confidence was built through my own skills
Speaker A
through accomplishing things for myself So I think because of that, I'm very confident in what I have done and in who I have came out to be I'm very proud of myself and I think, yes in that way I am confident
Speaker A
but if you tell me tomorrow to drive a rocket ship, I don't know how to do that I wouldn't be on that rocket ship for sure You would be right next to me What is an unforgivable action?
Speaker A
An unforgivable action For you I honestly think betrayal I felt you're going to say betrayal It's one of your childhood wounds Maybe even a past life wound I don't know This betrayal, since I was young didn't like it
Speaker A
How's your relationship with money today? Good, I love money It's healthy? Yes, and money loves me I hope so We love each other and just honestly, look I did come to a point where I started going live with my sister
Speaker A
and we have these lives where we basically say what men say but the female version now this is very controversial for social media and I've had a lot of brands that are like, "We don't want to like work with you
Speaker A
or we're going to have to put the brand deals on hold which is like my main source of income But you know I was sitting and I was thinking like, I don't care I don't even care about the money anymore
Speaker A
because if I want to truly make an impact and if I truly want things to change then I have to focus more on that than I focus on money Because at the end of the day I'm good I'm stable
Speaker A
I have whatever I need but I really believe opportunities will anyways come because if it's written for you it will come no matter what you do If you're meant to have it, you will have it there is no need to stress
Speaker A
but I just feel like money shouldn't be your only driving force if you're trying to create change in the world because change is controversial and you're going to be scrutinized and brands want to just protect their brands They don't care for your change
Speaker A
And your relationship with food today how was it? I healed that already years ago - A foodie? - No I love food, no actually I'm gaining weight I've been like eating more so I gained weight but healthy, I hope
Speaker A
Yes, it's very healthy Ever since I diverted One cheeseburger per week is no problem Every day, I eat cheeseburgers now I'm actually trying to gain weight seriously So I was like..
Speaker A
but look, for example when I had the eating disorders and my energy was going there I wasn't accomplishing anything but now when I diverted the energy into my business that's blooming and I don't even care about the food or whatever calories
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I never look at it anymore but everyone was also telling me after the pregnancy, "How are you so amazing?" "How are you so beautiful?" You see, here you go again when you compliment yourself, You don't know how to sit in one place
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I have ADHD No, you just don't accept compliments No, it's because they were like, "What's your workout routine?" Just be with a crazy baby daddy you will not gain weight If you could delete one memory from your mind,
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what would you delete? I think it would probably be about my disabled brother coming home That was hard when I asked you it was hard on you Although the other stories also were difficult You know, I just really
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always felt very protective about oppressed people and I always used to look at my brother because his foot is sideways a little bit and when he walks How do you say that?
Speaker A
He has a limp Limp How can you hurt someone like that? If you hurt children If you hurt disabled people or people that are oppressed That's so sad, you're evil and to see that is very evil It's not something anyone wants to see
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No If women could only learn one thing from you, what would you teach them?
Speaker A
I would tell them "Focus on your career and work and money" "Focus on that" because I genuinely a lot of women think, "I just going to go into a relationship with a man where he has money he's going to provide for me"
Speaker A
but a lot of women are stuck in relationships like that where they get abused and they have no financial freedom if you are a woman in the world today you need money and anyone needs money No one should rely on anyone
Speaker A
even a man You shouldn't rely on a woman either If you look at my ex for example, he went back to the old lifestyle he had after I just left because I was done with this but imagine that
Speaker A
your lifestyle relies on someone else or their emotions You're completely controlled by them so instead of like pouring all of this energy into again, I need to be a wife I need to be a mother Make sure you're stable first
Speaker A
Make sure that if anyone leaves your life you still have yourself and you still have your resources that's the most important thing I keep telling, if I didn't have money today, I would be my situation would be so bad
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so bad The reason I'm still laughing is because I have money Truly, because a lot of women they get their children taken and can't even go to court Can't afford it so they have to give up their child
Speaker A
Now they don't have a place to live The world will treat you unfairly You need stability Stability is the most important thing Money also gives you a lot of freedom so they should focus on their careers focus on your money
Speaker A
It's very important It's not everything but have your stability What is the biggest mistake women make after a heartbreak?
Speaker A
Honestly, I feel like they just make it too much about the other person "He hurt me there's something wrong with me because he doesn't want me" but you have to ask yourself Do you even want him?
Speaker A
Do you want a cheater? Do you want an abuser? No, you don't Realistically, you don't but your ego is hurt right now because you think even this type of man doesn't want me That's what you think but it's like you should realize
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it was never about him or you Even if women get cheated on they think "I was not good enough I should change myself then he would want me" No, a cheater will cheat on anyone It doesn't matter who you are
Speaker A
so I think they should instead of focusing on that focus on yourself How do you want to love yourself more?
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How do you want to pour into yourself? How do you want to rebuild yourself?
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And once you pour the energy into yourself, you will become a person that doesn't even care about this person anymore you will forget them "Who is this?" And it's also so beautiful because people always think "Oh, you went through heartbreak
Speaker A
you failed" "You got cheated on, you failed" But no, you just evolved You went through struggle You learned a lesson from it So you take the lesson Some don't learn Okay, but you should learn You take the lesson and then you move on
Speaker A
and now you are in a different reality where that person doesn't even exist anymore I'm in your domain now Because I know you talk about manifestation What is something people misunderstand about manifestation?
Speaker A
Well, they think it's like woo woo magic and all these things but it's not, it's very simple I feel like manifestation is manipulation of energy Wherever you direct your energy, is what will come into your life We could even say,
Speaker A
I was so scared of betrayal my whole life that you attracted it I might have attracted it Or you attracted somebody who does it Because How powerful do you become if you face your fears?
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So if my biggest fear was getting betrayed and now I had to face them I became more powerful now I care even less I feel more confident after that happened So I feel like with manifestation they think like it's writing the thousand times
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someone's name No, that's crazy You can also do that, maybe that also works I don't know but I feel like it's more how you position your mind what you think about on a daily basis what you engage with
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who you allow around you because a lot of people allow all these people that don't have good intentions with them or they belittle them They make them feel smaller That's who you are going to be Because that's what they're pouring into you
Speaker A
and you're accepting it You can say Just not what I deserve I deserve better and then your reality changes What would you tell a woman who knows she should leave but she still loves him?
Speaker A
Well, sometimes people give the advice of "Stay until you hate the person" I think this works if he's not abusive because some women can lose their life over this So if you want to stay until you absolutely hate the person
Speaker A
that's on you But if he's genuinely abusive I would say, Ask yourself is this truly love?
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or have you deprived yourself of love so much that you will accept breadcrumbs Social media clips They'll fly This is an interesting question Would you rather lose all your memories or the ability to make new ones?
Speaker A
I would maybe rather lose all my memories How many people do you think would be happy with your death?
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When I die? I think a small amount I think a lot of people would be sad but honestly I don't think anyone should be sad because I don't think earth is our home I think we have a body
Speaker A
we rent this body, but we have a soul and I think our soul goes back home and I think it's beautiful there It doesn't mean that you should go I'm not encouraging that but I think when it's your time to come
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I think it's so beautiful And I really think like death is going back home Give me the #ABtalks card game We'll do one from the card game Thanks - How's your energy? - Good Okay good Mix please You're going to read tarot for me now
Speaker A
No I'll give you this the later You're going to enjoy this a lot It's a nice game So I'll ask you one Then you throw this and this is how to answer So choose first which one should I ask you
Speaker A
Tell me which one This one Wait, this one? I'll ask, you throw Who do you miss right this minute?
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Okay Be open My sister Really? Yes, I miss her so much She's in Dallas She's with my baby So she has a visa?
Speaker A
Yes, she can go in How come you don't have a visa? Because it's like I was once sent away at the LAX airport and normally you get an ESTA You can go in and out and because I was sent away once
Speaker A
Ever since I couldn't get the ESTA anymore and now if I want to apply for the ESTA or the B2 visa, then they need to show that I don't have immigration intent but because I have a child obviously they will not give it to me
Speaker A
So Okay Tell me, Liz Are you scared? No I used to be very scared when I was younger very scared I grew up with so much fear inside of me and then I remember one time my mom brought me to this psychic guy
Speaker A
and he was doing tarot readings and I was very young and he told me, "You know?" He said, "If you let go of the fear that you have, you will become extremely successful" And he said, "I don't even want to say how successful
Speaker A
because I want to be realistic" "But will be extremely successful" And I never understood what he meant Until now I get it How old were you?
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13 I didn't even know what he meant I thought I didn't have fears but I was so scared of everything So you're not scared now?
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No I feel like it's getting better and better and better Your father is outside this door when we're done Oh no I'm so scared What would you tell him?
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To leave me alone You're still scared of him? I wouldn't want to see him I think he's frightening Even if I show you a picture you'll say that's a scary person You can tell there's something wrong with him
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in the energy So you wouldn't tell him anything? No Just leave me alone Leave me alone That's all I have Did he try to get in touch with you?
Speaker A
Yes, he always threatened to kill me when I did my social media he was going to kill me his friends were sending me death threats What's the best memory of your life so far?
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The best memory was when I gave birth to my child Oh, was it a good one?
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Oh yes Honestly, I was shocked I couldn't believe it Because you know how they say like when you are a father You realize like "Oh my God, there's a child" - You're shocked - Yes But I had that, I was like "What?"
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"How did this just come out of my stomach?" "What was this?" I was shocked, it was like an alien But then I was like, "Oh my God" It was so hard but at the same time you just see one smile
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Oh my God That's it, I'm done This is worth it Anything you want, you get My sister was like She was showing me on FaceTime he was like doing something with his toys and he was like drumming sound
Speaker A
and I was like, "Okay, done" "We're investing in a drumming career" "Whatever you want" You go girly when you think of your child Yes I love my child so much Yes If God forbid you didn't live long you didn't get to live long
Speaker A
What would be so important for you that your son would remember about his mother?
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It would be that I was a powerful woman and that I was a fighter because I think it would inspire him and remind him of his strength Yes And that he would understand that women are powerful You know, even
Speaker A
the reason that I left when I did was because I didn't want my son to grow up and think it's okay to treat women like this or I didn't want him to grow up and think that women will stay
Speaker A
if you treat them like this because a lot of parents what they do is they stay together for the children They're abusing each other but then the children grow up to stay together for the children you're creating cycles of abuse
Speaker A
True So you have to set an example that this is not how you treat women and a woman will leave if you do this Is he a good-looking boy?
Speaker A
He's so handsome I will show you pictures He's so handsome - That's good - God bless very handsome Looks like me, of course Well I hope at least your ex is a good father you said so I just feel like it's a child raising a child
Speaker A
I feel like it's immaturity I think a truly good father like he claims to be knows that the child belongs with his mother Yes You have to be responsible so but other than that, yes If I could take Liz's heart
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with everything you told me today with the good and the bad and the trauma and the scared girl before who is better now and I take the heart and I place it outside What would your heart tell you?
Speaker A
Probably that I'm tired I think my heart is also so tired "Give me a break" Yes I think when you constantly have to be strong and you constantly have to go through things and then it gets better then another thing
Speaker A
It's exhausting Do you think you're addicted to the chaos and the drama? No, but I do think that I thrive in it I think I thrive best in survival mode because that's all I've known so once a situation repeats where again
Speaker A
I have to survive, I'm the best at it That's why you said, I thank him for that Yes, because it awakened me again Then does that mean if I bring Liz and she finds love and she settles down or without love
Speaker A
you just settle down and you're calm and there's no drama, no intensity Would you need that again to revive you?
Speaker A
I don't think so I think I just want a fun relationship I just want to have fun, I want to laugh and stuff That's also good for me I don't need to have drama all these things Because you know some people say what they want
Speaker A
but they don't really want it Subconsciously They keep attracting Yes No no Because you know my relationship before was very calm Very, very calm and it lasted a long time but then it ended horrible Why?
Speaker A
How did it end? I don't want to say You said everything already This one, I cannot say It was not good From your side or from his side?
Speaker A
No, his side but let's just say we fought Elbow? Very bad Have you been in touch after?
Speaker A
He reached out but no It's also when you change when you like move on from someone you just never see them again because he used to live 5 minutes from me I never saw him again It's like they don't exist
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in your reality anymore In the simulation, they don't exist anymore They get removed Last question before I say a few things Liz, in one word I think strong Strong You believe this?
Speaker A
Yes Yes I think you are So what I wanted to say is at the beginning of the interview, you said "I'm numb" I think you're the opposite of numb I think you're so sensitive that it freaks you out
Speaker A
Yes But you like to say that you're numb because it's like a bandage or a cover, right?
Speaker A
and I want to say that Don't be afraid to feel It's a beautiful thing about you You have feelings You can still feel life You can still feel pain You can still laugh You can still feel joy It's quite a blessing that you can still feel
Speaker A
Yes So don't say that you're numb Not allowed anymore Okay That makes a lot of sense actually And the other thing I was thinking about One thing I was thinking about is that I think you will see your son
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Yes? Psychic prediction? I don't know, I'm not a psychic It's just a feeling I think you're a very determined woman and I think you could be a really good mom Yes I literally want to be the reason I only had the child
Speaker A
at the time that I did was because I was like, "I have savings, I have everything and stability, now I want my child" Like I told you, I was like a mother to my mother The mother role perfect for me
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- It's familiar - Yes People just think that to be a mother, you only have to be a mother No, like they're still their own person I still want to work, I want to have a relationship I want to be happy as well
Speaker A
but I am also a mother and I want to take care of my child That makes me very happy but he said to me, that if I come to Canada so I'm actually might go to Canada that if I come to Canada
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I can see my son there for a week then I have to prove there that I'm a good mother Yes and he said then he will think about it if it makes sense for him to move to Dubai
Speaker A
I think, look any man also, especially if you're still I don't want to call him immature I don't know him but a man who is still maybe growing and leveling up or maturing it is a burden to take care of a baby
Speaker A
Yes no he is a burden He'll feel it and then the moment he knows "She can relieve me of this duty and I can be a part-time father" Naturally, if there's no ego attached he should want you to take care of the child
Speaker A
because his son will be healthier Yes Especially if you're a great mom and he gets to see him part time which is convenient for somebody who's not ready to be a full-time father I offered him I had even offered him $300,000
Speaker A
I said I'm going to buy my child give him He said, "I will give him for one year and then I will take him again" I said, "No deal So then I offered him two days ago I said 150, give him for one year
Speaker A
I just want him for one year He said, "No" So I don't know what he wants because he wants child support from me so you want money but then when I offer you money, you also say no so you just want to make me miserable
Speaker A
- You think so - Yes He just wants to make me miserable Even though he needs money This is the situation he needs money I hope you figure it out Now it's going to go just through courts and the last thing that's on my mind
Speaker A
before I let you run away I'm already going is You're tired I can see how tired you are It's okay too, not tired face No, thank you so much No, I don't mean your face I know cause women get offended if I say you look tired
Speaker A
I don't say you look tired Yes, I know I think you're Especially when you first came, I could tell how you're in fight mode technically and I think it's okay to know that with certain people maybe less than five in your life
Speaker A
You should let go a bit because some people will protect you and they will defend you and they'll fight for you Thank you It's okay to be tired You're still strong tired I'm a warrior while tired Warriors get tired too
Speaker A
Thank you for today Thank you so much for having me I appreciate it I appreciate you Before you run away, I need you for a few minutes It's been eight years on the show and we're working on something very cool with the team
Speaker A
but we need your help, your opinion We need to get to know you better to do this really cool thing The link is in the description I hope you take your time Answer it and I will see you soon
Topics:abuse recoverytrauma healingbulimiaanorexiadepressionbetrayalself-reliancemotherhoodhonor killingsmental health
