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surprised my cheating wife with divorce papers at her secret Hotel getaway Affair hello guys I hope you are all doing well this is a pretty long and messed up story sorry for any errors as I am writing on my phone I've come to
A husband discovers his wife's long-term affair with her boss and serves her divorce papers at their secret hotel getaway.
Key Takeaways
- Affairs can deeply damage trust and family stability, especially with long-term deception.
- Gathering concrete evidence is crucial before confronting a cheating spouse.
- Collaboration with others affected by infidelity can provide support and clarity.
- Emotional healing after betrayal involves therapy, self-reflection, and sometimes tough decisions like divorce.
- Moving on requires acceptance and focusing on personal well-being and family.
Summary
- The husband narrates discovering his wife's two-year affair with her boss after noticing her distant behavior and deleted texts.
- He initially tries to save the marriage by reading self-help books and seeking advice but eventually confirms the affair with evidence.
- The husband collaborates with the boss's wife, who is also betrayed, to gather proof and plan their response.
- They decide to serve divorce papers to their unfaithful spouses during a secret hotel rendezvous.
- The confrontation is emotionally charged, with the wife denying and trying to manipulate the situation.
- The husband reflects on the impact of the affair on their family, especially their children.
- He discusses the emotional toll, therapy involvement, and his struggle to move on.
- The video also touches on themes of betrayal, revenge, and attempts at reconciliation.
- The husband shares updates on his healing process and interactions with others in similar situations.
- Ultimately, he decides to move forward with his life after exposing the affair and serving divorce papers.
Chapters
- 00:00Introduction and Background of Marriage
- 02:04Discovery of Wife's Affair and Emotional Struggles
- 03:51Confrontation Attempts and Gathering Evidence
- 05:45Collaboration with Boss's Wife and Planning Revenge
- 07:45Serving Divorce Papers at the Hotel
- 09:22Wife's Reaction and Emotional Confrontation
- 09:41Reflections on Marriage, Therapy, and Moving Forward
- 26:15Updates and Final Thoughts on Healing and Life After Affair
Full Transcript — Download SRT & Markdown
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the end of my rope and have no idea how to navigate this mess a bit of background I am 43 and my soof 40 have been married for 16 years we have two kids 14-year-old daughter and 9-year-old son our marriage was very Rocky in the
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beginning but we made it through those tough years and had come out much better from it we married young so maturity wasn't all there yet but we knew we loved each other and could conquer an obstacle that comes between our marriage
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I'm still not sure whether this was wishful thinking anyway my wife is a manager of a very big advertisement company for 3 years and I'm in engineering 7 years both our jobs pay well and gave our family a pretty good
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lifestyle we were a very tight-knit family we always make sure as parents that we were there for our kids to creates great memories no matter how busy we got we always made time for our kids honestly I consider myself a good
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dad and husband I messed up sometimes when it came to my wife but I did anything for this woman and it honestly shocked me to my core when I found out that she was in a long-term Affair which
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brings me to Discovery wife was acting distant in fact the last 2 years before this one were the hardest she just didn't seem to like anything I did she kept comparing me to her boss yes I know now and would always tell me how he
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would handle this or that can't read her mind well her boss can don't take initiative to take her out on dates and make her feel special well her boss does that for his wife why was I so immature
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I would ask what she wanted me to do to spice up our love life her answer usually is don't ask you need to already know and do it so I researched brought books you know since I was clueless
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someone else had to have the answer anything I attempted was met with either half-hearted appreciation or bitter disappointment my wife was never like this in the years I've known her so I thought that inability to make her happy
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was something I seriously needed to fix little did I know it wasn't me who was doing the fixing the entire time we were very close to her boss and his wife they also have kids and the kids loved each
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other we brought them to our barbecues family outings to the park game days at the arcade they have been to our house numerous times and we've been to theres it's no surprise that we became close I would confide in her boss about our
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marital problems he gave me good advice I thought he was a swell guy anyway back to the Discovery I had grown emotionally tired from wife's demands to better myself where the marriage was done I was honestly shocked with her attitude
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because before all this I thought we had a great marriage so one night she was busy laughing and giggling while texting someone I was next to her in bed and was curious the moment I leaned my head to
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take a peek she viciously pulled away from me she was angry instantly asking me what I was doing I told her I wanted to see what the joke was and she told me it was none of my business and retreated
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to the bathroom I think that's the day when I just knew deep down that there was an affair of sorts going on I did not have proof though I made the mistake of asking her directly the next day she
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was Furious and denied any wrongdoing I did not have access to her phone but I wanted the truth terribly I asked for her phone and she refused only later during the night did she grudgingly give me the phone almost every text message
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she sent to specific people were deleted I could tell because some conversations seemed inconsistent and others downright ridiculous I gave her the phone back and we did not speak of it until a month later when I was able to get a buddy on
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it to check the phone and recover deleted texts my wife had gotten another phone prior and hardly used the one she handed to me some texts were recovered and it was through bits and pieces that I finally had proof that there was an
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affair going on and you already guessed it with her boss I just knew if I confronted her then and there she would find some way to weasel out of it so I bid my time I was a wreck though all I
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could think about is how it was going to affect the kids the situation was horrible and I cried in front of my buddy I still did not want to give up the marriage so 3 days later I bought
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how to help your spouse heal from an affair it's okay if you're shaking your head I started reading hoping that if I gave it to my wife she would stop this nonsense I wanted my wife back and I
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wanted to save the marriage I had planned on talking to her on that Saturday to work things out but she had told me they had an emergency at work and not to wait up on her of course I
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contacted the workplace on the day to confirm the story she gave me and received no answer they were not open on Saturdays I tried her phone but no answer she came back home at 2:00 in the morning on Sunday and immediately
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showered and then came to bed I asked why she was late and she dodged the question by saying that she already told me not to wait for her I was sick of this I did not give her the book I
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brought I was suffering and she didn't care she saw me suffering and didn't care I contacted her boss's wife to find out from her if she knew anything I was so desperate for stability and to this day I don't regret doing that she was as
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shocked as I was when finding out she wanted to confront her husband but I told her he will probably lie and try to hide it better like my wife did we met at her house to discuss what was going
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on and I gave her the little proof that we had she wanted more evidence so we both decided to gather evidence on each of our sides and compare them I started snooping on my wife more and she did the
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same with her husband it was very easy on her end to find undeniable proof her husband was so arrogant that he didn't even delete the texts on his phone between him and my wife and the little texts I found earlier finally made sense
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and we had a whole picture of how long the affair was 2 years the boss's wife was livid and so was I she wanted to get revenge on them and so did I they slept together everywhere her house my house
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expensive hotels business trips it was sickening to read all that they even sent each other pics but we decided to ignore the pics because we didn't want to scar ourselves with the images we wanted Revenge but not an affair
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ourselves we both decided that if they wanted each other then they can have each other we both Drew divorce papers at round about the same time we were dead set on it our spouses didn't know that we knew
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and we acted our part by the time our ducks were in a row they were at it again this time through collaborating with the boss's wife we knew exactly where and how they were going to be served we knew which hotel they booked
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for their weekend of fun I personally went there with the sheriff I waited in the lobby as the sheriff got everything working and my wife was called to come down from her room she did dressed in a bathrobe and I fear nothing else she's
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panicking frantically asking me what I was doing there it was quite a distance from our home but not too far the sheriff asked for confirmation of her name and information she confusedly answered in the affirmative and was served it was very satisfying seeing the
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shocked look on her face but I did not want to rub it in so I decided to walk away knowing the job was done she didn't let me and was holding my arm pulling me back and demanding to know what was the
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meaning of this I told her you had an affair and I'm leaving you simple she started screaming at me and then pulling my arm hard the sheriff had to step in and tell her to release me at once she
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did so and started crying telling me she can explain I have the wrong idea it's my fault I was getting angry so I left quickly to get home my wife told her boss and he panicked from what I was
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told he rushed home only to be served there we did not give them time to get their heads on straight we blindsided them just like they did US my divorce will be finalized in a couple of months hers might be taking a bit longer both
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my wife and her boss have been fighting us on the divorces neither wants to get divorced the excuses I hear is that they never intended to leave their spouses it was a purely sexual Affair nothing more people have worse Affairs and still come
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out with a great marriage they [ __ ] up and would like a chance to unfuck the situation I have asked my wife what she thought the outcome of all this was she said she was going with the flow and
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acted completely out of character she is not that person anymore I told her she's an idiot people around me are calling me evil for not giving my wife another chance my kids know what's going on age appropriate and they are behind me 100%
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but would like it if we stayed together my resolve is slipping coupled by the fact that we still live in the same house and my wife is going to therapy and reading the book I brought it's getting harder to stick to my guns she
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says she's remorseful and will do whatever it takes all I tell her is that she's sorry she got caught and that's all I need to know she's called me a bitter resentful person who can't look past all the negativity she apologized
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for it later but I know that's how she feels the boss's wife and I still talk and my wife absolutely hates that she thinks I'm going to have a Revenge Affair or her boss's wife is the reason I will not give us another chance she
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has asked me repeatedly to initiate no contact with her boss's wife just like she did with her boss I told her she's crazy we didn't do anything wrong and why should I respect your opinions now see I think I'm done I have no respect
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for her she still doesn't want to give up and is actively trying to engage with me about her thoughts and processes to her Affair I see as excuses so I don't entertain her she wants me to do therapy
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with her I read many places where the therapist blames the victim so I was like hell no she wants me to read infidelity books with her what is the point if we're going to divorce anyway she wants to be intimate I told her she
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was not going to manipulate me with sex she says it's not manipulation and she just wants to show me how much she loves me I corrected and said love me now you mean people around me are frustrated with me even my mom because they say
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people make mistakes in my wife realizes through her mistakes that she truly does love me I told people that I will never be anyone's fallback plan I feel very bad for treating her the way I do I still love her even though
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there's hate there am I being unnecessarily cruel to her she's trying really hard but I just don't care should I reconsider the divorce people are saying I'm moving too quickly and I will regret it is that true I don't know
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what's real and what's not edit thank you all for taking the time to respond to my situation I have read all your comments and some of you touched on important subjects and I will have a discussion with my wife in a moment I
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will keep you updated but I think divorce is really the best route for me and my kids reading here has helped update for the story okay I'm back again I'm trying for the second time because I've been getting
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email after email asking me for an update thanks for your concern guys I understand your curiosity and I'd like to clear up a few things firstly my wife and I are in a sort of good place right now it is not because we are reconciling
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no I'm still divorcing her the last update I posted up which was taken down by the automod explained in great detail our situation the short version is my wife is still begging for another chance and is doing whatever it takes to get it
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I will not give it to her because her Affair was way too long for me to get over if it had been a one night stand that would be a different story but no 2 years is just a slap in the face I have
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gone to a few therapy session with her because I'm not a monster and still love her one session was very good and made me understand that my wife is actually remorseful she has not been perfect with how she handled the Fallout of her
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Affair but she has been trying pretty damn hard second session was a mess of her upset at me for continuously contacting the boss's wife and her being afraid of a Revenge Affair it was the angriest I ever was through this whole
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mess and we did argue a great deal later because I refused to do what she wanted which is no contact with the boss's wife that was resolved when I promised her that there will be no Revenge Affair I
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know I don't owe her anything but she's still my wife until our divorce and I still want to hold true to my commitments I been going to a few more sessions with her just to see her progress yes this therapist is an
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individual and marriage therapist no I'm not going to these session Because deep down I want to save our marriage I want to see my wife's progress myself participate if I have two after the divorce I will step away gracefully the
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boss's wife is still leaving her husband her husband is still fighting her on the divorce she is as adamant as I am and I will admit we do confide in and each other when we have low days I still do
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not see any Affair happening we are just on friendly terms with each other that's all she is a strong and independent woman who takes no [ __ ] from anyone my kids are fine they know just because we're divorcing doesn't mean we love
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them any less they don't want to divorce but understand why it's necessary for us in an age appropriate manner my wife doesn't work at the advertisement company anymore she works elsewhere she resigned shortly after I served her she
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has been strictly no contact with her former boss according to her she reached out on forums to get help on saving the marriage and used that ad eyes I've been reading a lot here and at first I didn't
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understand why people stayed with adulterers but after seeing my wife work her butt off to be a better person I can see the Temptation she's not a monster she's just flawed and made horrible choices which she's learning to be
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better from she has offered me everything under the sun to be given another chance I'm not so sure I have it in me the closer divorce comes to being final the more at peace I feel we recently had a long discussion of her
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asking to have a chance after divorce she has offered a post upup I was not completely opposed to it actually but it would be a very very long road for her to travel for me to even consider it a
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possibility she seems quite willing but I don't see how that would benefit any of us to be honest a huge part of me wants this divorce out of a fleeting sense of justice it's the only Justice I can get without lowering myself to an
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adulterer my mom and I made up after I revealed more about my wife's Affair although now she's absolutely furious with my wife after learning the details I don't know how to navigate that one rant Revenge Affair okay I didn't want
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to write here until my divorce was finalized but I'm just pissed off today and really want vent as many of you know my wife is scared crazy about a Revenge affair simple reason is because I'm still in contact and see the other woman
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she betrayed my wife is very insecure compared to other betrayed spouse is that how it's spelled other betrayed spouse is younger a model very attractive and owns a successful business it makes my wife paranoid that I will give into temptation and cheat on
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her as Revenge I still cannot believe the nerve of her to give me the two wrongs don't make a right speech of course she isn't wrong and I don't intend to ever follow through but her hypocrisy infuriates me every time I'm
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going to visit other betrayed spouse like yesterday she gets extremely sad or extremely clingy I don't I don't know how many times she has thrown herself at me just to make sure that I don't cheat on her back I reject her atams and it
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only makes things worse it absolutely floes me that cheaters are this selfish only thinking about themselves and their pain while the Betrayed have to trudge along and try to pick up the pieces another thing our kids still see their
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kids I never go to other betrayed spouse without my kids but no my wife still thinks I have it in me to be as heartless as she was and take any opportunity to bang the woman laughable [ __ ] om is still living in their holiday
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home begging other betrayed spouse to take him back I'm not going to lie it brings me a sense of great satisfaction to see him suffer the consequences he has not tried to threaten me because of how much leverage I have on him he has
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to deal with the fact that I'm still in contact with his wife he is allowed to visit his kids anytime he wants but doesn't want to see me so he makes sure I'm not around and then visits I pity
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the guy honestly currently my wife has been super apologetic she has showered me with affection which I simply brushed off I'm not in a good place we are having a therapy session today and I feel like unloading all the pain and
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hurt I've had to endure because of her the rage I feel is becoming overwhelming update well checking in nothing really new to report to you guys there had been a few things that have developed though looking through my
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posts and messages made me realize what a great place this is that gives support to People Like Us I've been reading a lot of stuff that concerns infidelity in order to get a better picture of my situation anyway during a recent therapy
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session with my wife she requested that I give her a little more time for her to win me back she had reason after reason why it would be a good idea for me to at least try and see if I could participate
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in recovering our marriage not necessarily reconciliation yet I repeatedly brought up the fact that she was only trying now because of the Fall out of her affair she would never be trying if she was still seeing om she
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emotionally abused me for months and I'm not the type of person to get walked all over even from the woman I loved she acknowledged all of her wrongdoings and apologized once again she has given me so many promises of making it up to me
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she wants our marriage to grow stronger than ever before and believes it's possible I asked her if she was willing to put up with my rage because I have plenty to spare she was like absolutely and she would like me to unload on her
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whenever I feel like it to help myself process the pain usually when I asked her why she had an affair I get a million excuses this time she was was forthright and told me there was no excuse for what she did and she would
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spend every day for the rest of her life showing me through her actions that she was truly remorseful and would never hurt me that way again she actually unloaded feelings onto me and it made me understand a bit that she really was
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very insecure of herself and jealous of other betrayed spouse the affair made her ego Skyrocket and she liked feeling beautiful and desired she acknowledged that the affair was definitely a fantasy and would never last she hardly thought about the consequences but did think
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about it from time to time she regrets ever having the affair and says we live with this guilt for the rest of her life she will probably never forgive herself she she told me she could never hold a
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candle to other betrayed spouse and the reason she was so sure I would cheek back is because other betrayed spouse is not only beautiful but she is a woman with Integrity not once his other betrayed spouse ever said a mean thing
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to her or threatened her it was all my wife's insecurities talking and maybe the fact that I was angry at her for betraying me here's where it gets interesting the therapist asked me what would it take for me to consider my
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wife's proposal nothing came to mind I was honest and told her a time machine because what I have now is a sham of a marriage and I never signed up for it she told me all marriage face problems
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ranging from infidelity to death it's how those problems are dealt with that that shows the strength of a marriage I honestly could not believe where this conversation was headed and I told the therapist to focus on my wife notus the
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therapist told me my inability to listen to logical reasoning might be a problem communication wise I did not disagree my wife and I had a long talk during the drive home she questioned if I felt emasculated due to her Affair
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considering she had never asked me that before I was genuinely surprised by the question I answered yes she shocked Me by asking if I would feel better if I slept with another woman I again told her I'm not nor will have a Revenge
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affair she explained that she was talking about a trial separation where I out and get my mojo back she will remain faithful and wait until I'm good and ready to come back to the marriage I thought she was desperate before but I
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found her proposal crazy I asked her how that would benefit the marriage in any way for both people to be having Affairs she told me mine would not be an affair because we would be separated with conditions aligning with my freedom to
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see other people in place I told her that's a huge risk on her part and she responded that we were getting divorced anyway so if this doesn't help us at least I can see what the outside world has to offer I obviously rejected the
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idea because it seemed way out of character for her to propose that my wife has been strangely calm and patient these few weeks she's like a different person from the crazy insecure one of course I know not to trust her for my
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own sake it's very difficult though even though she doesn't want it she has been very generous in the divorce I've read so many times where divorces gets nasty but not mine it feels quite unreal to be in this situation it's difficult to
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navigate edit to ad let me make it clear I'm still going fully through with the divorce I'm interested in hearing people's opinions on this update back again hello everyone I have another update in this sorry state of my life
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before I get into that I'd like to thank the people who continuously reached out to me in support So currently my wife and I have decided to be civil and spend the holidays together as a family it will be the last holiday that will ever
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happen although my wife is still hoping otherwise I wanted to do this for our kids sake I love my kids our divorce will be final in the middle of February for those of you who were curious we have split everything half in half
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although she has been very generous on her side still don't know whether it's a tactic and she might turn nasty later but so far she has been nice and confesses that it's because I have been a great husband and father so she feels
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I should get a more than fair divorce consider considering what she has done that is not to say that she will lose a lot out of the divorce but I do get slightly more thanks to her I have
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decided to stop going to therapy with her it was giving her false hope and sending her mixed signals she has confessed that she has a burning desire to be intimate with me throughout the time I've been absent here and her
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understanding that I felt emasculated and undesirable thanks to her affair she has been frequently and I mean frequently trying to engage me in sex in all honesty my wife hardly initiated sex before all this so I found it a bit
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upsetting that she was doing it now over time I grew to appreciate the fact that she saw this as a hang-up of mine wanted to address it I've rejected her though but she still persists adamantly stating that this has nothing to do with
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reconciliation and she just wants me to feel good and desired I have cut off contact with other betrayed spouse for now because things were getting a little too personal for my liking to the person who pointed out that I was having a
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Revenge Affair I guess you were not way off I didn't even realize it myself until other betrayed spouse confessed that she does want to try and see where this relationship between us goes she has stated that she would wait for my
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divorce to be finalized before we tried anything I was very confused and had no answer for her so we have decided to take a break from being around each other until everything is sorted out other betrayed spouse eyes an attractive
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woman but I don't know if I can return her feelings I don't how to handle that at all someone insinuated that being around other betrayed spous is affecting her possible reconciliation with her husband I assure you that I have nothing
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to do with her decision to leave om she is done with him and that's all her we do not talk badly about our spouses when we're around each other om recently met me in person to apologize for everything
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that happened he was always an arrogant guy and this experience really humbled him I did not accept his apology call me Petty but I don't give a [ __ ] about what that hes going through I have a question
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is it okay for me to have sex with my wife even if we're not reconciling I have to admit I miss having sex I miss the intimacy and closeness of it all my wife is eager and has been trying
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everything possible to initiate it new lingerie sexting touching letters Etc and sometimes I find it hard to resist she even threw away burned and replaced anything that had to do with om in my house without me asking her to because
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frankly I just didn't care to know exactly where they had sex it's not easy for me to switch off these feelings is this a trap am I being played before someone says kick her out of the house I
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have already tried that and I want her here because it's less of a hassle until the divorce is done rant it's finally dawned on me now I thought I wasted all these years on a woman who was nothing
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but worthless but she gave me great kids and great memories these things I will never forget and will cherish as a man but I finally understand I can do better than her and I'm going to do better than
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her I have had a flood of people giving me advice on how to deal with this situation I finally finally understand that I deserve better than her she screwed me over put me down and made me feel less than when another man showed
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her attention she literally invested her energy in another dude I can't believe I'm finally coming to terms that I'm over her only now now now she does whatever it takes to keep me now she's investing her energy in us now she wants
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me to be happy when she didn't give a damn before now she wants to be this adventurous person in sex with me the sex we had was never mindblowing but I liked it now I see how much I've missed
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out on through her text with om I know just the tip of the iceberg how graphic their trius were now she wants to show me just how much she loves me when admittedly she has been quite lazy before the lazy sex speaks volumes to me
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now she gives me space and is happy and supportive of anything I do when before it was all about giving her attention and providing for her at the same time now she values my boundaries and goes above and beyond to add to them now she
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sees me as the king I wished she saw me as before but no I had to smack her off her pedestal first now she's the ideal woman but it seems fleeting to me now she is completely transparent with me
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about everything she is brutally honest too even if it will upset me or embarrass herself I don't think I've ever seen any woman with a constant look of shame on her face before she wishes this affair never happened I can see how
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much she kicks herself every day I can see the hopelessness on her face when I'm just not receptive to anything she does she looks so miserable especially when she tries to hide it it makes me hate myself sometimes but to me it's
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necessary why can't I see this as a positive thing why can't I judge her for her actions now they show remorse right many people have ltas and come out even stronger than before right why am I basing my decisions off emotion and not
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a place of mature objectification someone else will end up getting the better and improved version of her while I Venture into another uncertain relationship why not fight for this when everything seems to point to something good in a future these are the lines
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I've been given and I have one answer I will not accept disrespect maybe I was willing to in the early stages of Discovery but I woke up from that quickly this is to answer the people who have me and regularly asked about my
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situation I'm going to enjoy this Christmas with my entire family and then move on for my wife I decided to stop listening to the nonsense I created in my head to keep my wife's control over me and move on entirely from the idea of
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her I will not be dating her or giving us another chance we are over for good I like to say that my wife isn't a villain and that is true I want her to be happy as well but it will never be
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with me she has shown me that I'm have called other betrayed spouse today and offered her dinner after the holidays for her support when I absolutely hit rock bottom she said she would love to I know this stuff doesn't happen often but
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we really supported each other throughout all of this and I owe her thanks before people start talking about how much I planned this with OBS I honestly did not my emotions have been so screwed up this few years that the
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very thought of another woman never crossed my mind and it's dinner nothing else unless we both want it but the closer divorce gets the more I realize I actually have options and one option has been right there what about om I don't
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give a flying FK about the dude I do not think I will marry again and I will tell this to any woman although my divorce hasn't been much of a hassle I am losing a lot of money still the whole idea of
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marriage just seems like a sham to me now sorry for being so cynical right now I don't want this post to offend anyone but I'm still jaded I gave my best years to this woman and I'm starting to
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realize how little I got back happy holidays you won't be hearing from me for a while update officially divorced it's been a long time coming I did mention before that I would come back and update for the last time here it's
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over my ex and I have officially separated for good it happened almost 3 weeks ago for the better part of a few days after the fact I grieved like I lost a loved one I think it hit me
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extremely hard that my marriage failed so spectacularly never cried that hard ever since I discovered the affair in the first place I raged a lot too definitely one of my lowest points everything has been organized for my ex
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partially on my part for the kids sake she moved out of the house and I'm looking to buy her out of her part of it she lives in an apartment now very big downgrade for her and it pretty much
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depresses her she is still going to the therapist still invested in reading and studying infidelity don't know exactly why we've had long talks leading to an after the divorce minimal physical contact I know I shouldn't entertain her now but she's still the mother of my
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kids and I want us to be good co-parents I'm nothing if not logical about the situation largely thanks to this community and others of course it's the same tune she wants to reconcile and I think it's too risky for me to put
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myself in that situation again unfortunately I'm not in the mood to give her that gift this past weekend I accompanied other betrayed spouse do dinner with no intention than enjoying each others company and chatting we talked about all
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sorts of things things got flirty between us and I must admit I was very reluctant to entertain the rapidly changing mood well I guess I should say the night ended in a very passionate way sorry for TMI it was probably the most
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mind-blowing sex I've ever had OBS is very much a giver and Spades above my ex I did not intend for it go that far but other betrayed spouse who I willing and I was as well learned quite a few more
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tricks in the sack LOL first time I ever had someone that enthusi I Astic to please me and not the other way around guess I shouldn't call her other betrayed spouse anymore as she divorced her ex but for privacy sake I'll just
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use that I do not think we will take our relationship further to be honest I think the hormones and wine got the best of us that night she would like to but I am undecided I need to sort myself out
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emotionally and I think she does as well I feel very good though people might not like hearing this but the sex I had with other betrayed spouse really helped a lot with my residual self-esteem issues I felt desired alive and finally
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understood what I was missing out on I will never settle for robotic sex again what was more satisfying was knowing that I was not cheating and did not lower my morals All Things Considered I'm very proud of how I handled all this
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crap I wasn't perfect but did the best I could I'm probably coming out very lucky compared to many BHS even if I did lose a substantial amount of money in this process but it was because I was willing
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to absorb advice and listen to people with experience instead of going in blind and hoping for the best for that I will be forever grateful to you guys you and everyone who let me in ear saved me from destroying my self worth even
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further takeaways Dash respect yourself never ever accept disrespect from anyone else not even people closest to you dash everyone deserve a healthy fulfilling relationship never settle for scraps from your partner Dash every committed relationship should include a healthy
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and fulfilling sex life if your partner is not giving his slasher all to you but did so before with someone else or in an affair do not tolerate it I'm not advocating sexual abuse or rape simply lay out your dissatisfaction if your
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partner isn't willing to meet them do not settle for boring sex unless you both agree on it it is okay to walk away from that Dash communicate communicate communicate I cannot stress how super important that is Dash if you're ever
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betrayed only you can truly heal yourself it took a long time for me to understand this there are many more but that's all I can think of right now I'll be available to answer comments that you may have but in about a few hours from
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now I'm done posting here for good and moving on with my life have a good one everyone update things are May right now hey guys I've been getting a ton of emails from people who wanted to know how my situation is going I have been
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purposely staying away from anything involving infidelity because I still get the trigger here and there with that in mind I'm still dealing with a trauma I don't like to dwell too much on something so I've been away from this
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sight and others and a bid to move on however since there are so many people concerned about me I will ease your worries and give you an update I'm okay no accidents no poof I'm off the face of
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the Earth I'm still an IC other betrayed spouse I still my girlfriend she managed to settle her case with om when it came to child custody and finances she could have been vengeful and taken him to the cleaners but instead she handled that
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situation maturely there is indeed some friction between the children over all this we are trying to deal with it as best as possible we have had to start their therapy to make sure that they properly adjust and understand that the
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relationship other betrayed spouse and I have as little bearing on them but we do consider them important when it comes to how this situation is handled this is extremely hard because not everyone is on board my daughter my ex and om do not
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like being around each other I genuinely think both of them blame the other for how things turned out and I'm not kidding here there is tension when those two are in close proximity to each other my XSL wants a second chance and is
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probably angry that other betrayed spouse ice in the way of me seeing things clearly and not throwing away all we have indefinitely this woman is so diluted I'm genuinely worried about her Antics she tried something at a Fourth
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of July party a friend of mine threw I shut it down but I guess not firmly enough I did not believe the people that said she would be pinning for me but you guys were right she wants to come
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crawling back in a bat way. other betrayed spouse I letting me handle that but she's getting sick of my ex to did I mention my ex hates other betrayed spouse with a passion I really thought that my ex was changing herself for the
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better but ever since I left her asked for someone else she's been a train wreck that's what I still don't get I treated her better than treated anyone else in my life and she treated me like crap but the moment I basically say F
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you she doing back flips trying to get my attention I don't know whether it's something I should be angry about well there you have it y'all can rest easy now I am worried about my daughter hi all I am not new to Reddit but I am new
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to this sub I've actually been looking around for good sources to deal with the situation I'm in feel free to check my history to get a better background but I'll summarize it here for you all my ex-wife had an affair it spanned on for
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approximately 2 years during this time my ex-wife was kind of abusive towards me and compared me to our om a lot our sex life was worse than it was before and I initially took all the blame for my shortcomings once I discovered the
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affair I didn't immediately have a plan to leave her but it slowly came to pass one weekend when she left to have fun with om and lied to me about it I reached out to other betrayed spouse and
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we worked together to divorce our respective spouses during this process the affair was disclosed to our children in an age appropriate manner mommy broke a promise to Daddy type of talk no details just we were going our separate
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ways but we still love them very much they took it as well as anyone in this situation would hope but of course didn't want the divorce to happen which is also completely understandable my ex-wife had been insistently pushing for
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reconciliation but it wasn't in me to give her another chance I forgave her understood it wasn't about me and wanted to be done with the relationship the closer divorce came to being finalized it was very costly but the financial
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damage wasn't too great I also need to mention that shortly after the divorce other betrayed spouse and I slowly started a relationship at first it was akin to FWB but now it's a lot more serious if it wasn't for us supporting
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each during the Fallout of the affair I think I might very well still be with my cheating ex that or killed myself half joking anyway I talk to my kids all the time to understand how they're dealing with this I try to make sure our
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conversations are open and if they dislike my relationship with OBS they can tell me so and I would not be offended because I don't want to put them in a situation that will mess them up in the future my son 10 loves OBS my
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daughter prefers a little more time adjusting to the new Dynamic she's 15 she says she wants to see me happy and doesn't want to interfere with my relationship with other betrayed spouse because it's not her place I told her
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that I want her to be happy two if she doesn't like other betrayed spous ofan she can say so and I won't mind she says she's fine with other betrayed spouse and just needs some time we have had
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many discussion with them about healthy relationships I've had many discussion with my daughter about her fears and worries so far she seems pretty supportive of me do other betrayed spouse and I are very discreet with our relationship so as not to overwhelm all
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the kids involved my son daughter and her two daughters everyone and I mean everyone is in therapy even om separate issue altogether as you can tell this is indeed a bizarre situation which leads me back to my daughter The Fallout of
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the affair and decisions made have definitely Strang the relationship she has with her mother she openly tells me that she hates her because if it wasn't for what she did none of this would have happened she is extremely rebellious
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when it comes to her mother she sulks when it's her mother's turn to take her she brushes off her mother attempts at affection she even cursed at her once which resulted in me stepping in and telling to be respectful which she did
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follow in that incident there have been arguments between the two and it worries me a lot that my daughter is affected in such a severe manner the ex-wife is trying to deal with it as best as she can but there is so much she can do on
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her own she wants my assistance in reestablishing a relationship with her daughter because it was my decision to divorce I could throw her cheating in her face it was her fault I am above that but it puts a lot of Doubt on how I
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handled this situation things to list that I'm worried about Dash daughter has no respect for her mother Dash daughter wishes things could go back to before she doesn't know her mother abused me Dash daughter is in therapy but I don't
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know how well that's helping her Dash I am worried that she feels she has no voice and no control over the situation therefore overwhelmed Dash she has handled my relationship with other betrayed spous well but I am worried she
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is hiding her emotions Dash I feel like I might have screwed up my kids lives by divorcing their mother not going back to that toxic person though any advice is highly appreciated update I know you guys were worried about me hey all yes
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I've seen your inboxes and chat requests sorry for not responding I'm not active anymore here but I'm very much aware that there are people who have been trying to check in on me and my situation I'll ease your worries with
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this update be warned this isn't a happily ever after here let's start off with the big elephant in the room how are other betrayed spouse and I doing actually fantastic if I knew a woman like her was out there earlier I would
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have hunted her down years ago LOL all jokes aside I've never had a stronger relationship with any woman besides her because my ex-wife put me through the ringer so much I had little clue what a healthy relationship looked like I still
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doubted myself but other betrayed spouse has helped me through this and is a phenomenal partner I'm very much in love with this woman she has shown me time and time again that I mean a great deal to her and I feel the same way towards
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her nothing more than a girlfriend though I'm still doubtful of the whole idea of marriage we're still doing things privately and involving the children as little as possible in the whole relationship thing but but yes the kidss know we're dating as for the kids
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it was a bit of a rough start who am I kidding but they are getting along really well now I think it mostly has to do with us being heavily involved in their lives and making sure they had an
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ear to talk to whenever they had problems also lots of therapy my daughter and son love other betrayed spouse do bits she has a away with kids her children like me a hell of a lot more than almost 2 years ago her
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youngest even started telling people that I'm her stepdad at functions and outings I took her to which greatly surprised me I was worried she felt forced to see me that way but she said she liked me a lot and I make her mom
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happy so she's happy I'm her stepdad you don't know how emotional I got after hearing that hit me like a ton of bricks from out of nowhere but I did put up a valiant front I like seeing my kids
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happily playing with obs's although they formed a united front to relentlessly tease my son who is the only boy and youngest of the bunch yeah no idea if I should laugh or cringe at that one so how about my cheating ex-wife we are on
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good terms she has been working really hard on her own to repair her relationship with her daughter and I was happy when my daughter told me she could find it in her heart to forgive her mother for what she did they have been
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through a lot these years and have progressed well together even with that I don't think my ex-wife has fully accepted that we are done as a couple she still seems to be looking for her hinting at a second try she's been going
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to the gym and still attending individual therapy overall she seems much healthier now but I don't really care I've made peace with the past it's her problem for not doing the same she talks more with other betrayed spouse
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now which is reciprocated but other betrayed spouse regularly regards her with skepticism which she should given all that's happened om is a lost cause I didn't realize what a mess the guy would be all that money and no brains he has a
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girlfriend now but his kids despise her and are very open about it it took me some time to see how full of himself the dude was to be honest I don't like his girlfriend either she comes off as
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extremely materialistic selfish and callous towards the girls so to conclude we are doing better than okay don't get me wrong I had my doubts if this was the right path but with a lot of effort from the people involved it's turning out
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splendidly no happily ever after just really happy now well there you have it y'all can rest easy now
Topics:cheating wifeaffairdivorce papersinfidelitymarital problemsbetrayalfamily impactemotional healingrelationship advicesecret hotel getaway
