r/AITA for Going Topless? — Transcript

Welcome to r/amithebutthole, where OP likes to swim topless. Am I the butthole for swimming topless? I'm a 32-year-old woman, and I just talked to the cops because neighbors complained about me swimming topless. I live out in the country in Manitoba, Canada. I don't live directly on a lake, but there's a public beach nearby that anyone can go to. There's a little boat ramp and some nice sand at the water's edge. I like to swim, but I prefer to skinny dip. However, because this is a public beach, I won't go totally naked. I just go topless. But I also understand that not every parent wants their children around a random lady's breasts, despite it being perfectly legal in Canada for women to be topless in public. So, I usually go swimming at night. This beach doesn't have operating hours, so it's not against the rules or anything. One night, I was out swimming topless like I usually do, and I saw some teenagers riding their bikes on the road next to the beach. Well, I guess one of them told their parents, or maybe someone else saw me, because I got a visit from the cops today. They kind of had a vibe like they knew they were here for a BS reason, but they still asked that I stop swimming topless. I told them I'd think about it. They wished me a good day and left. I don't know if I'm the butthole because, yeah, I get that it's not common to be topless in Canada, especially in smaller towns like mine, but I'm not doing anything illegal, and usually no one is at the beach at night. Honestly, I'm kind of tempted to go sunbathe topless now just out of spite. Lol. I don't even know why you posted this, OP. If it's legal, what's the problem? Even worse than that, I don't even know why the cops talked to you. Excuse me, miss. Can you stop doing this completely legal activity? No, I'll do what I want. Thanks. Bye. Oh, okay. See you. Have a nice day. What a waste of man-hours. Am I the butthole for refusing to attend my sister's wedding after she wanted me to prove that I didn't have anything with her fiancé? I'm a 26-year-old woman, and I've always been close with my older sister, who's 29. She's getting married in about a month to her fiancé, who she's been with for four years now. Before they met, I worked at the same company as him for almost two years, and we were friendly co-workers. We normally grabbed lunch with other colleagues and occasionally texted about work. Nothing romantic ever happened between us. Fast forward a year, he and my sister meet through mutual friends. When my sister found out that we already knew each other, she laughed it off and even joked that I should tell her if he had any embarrassing stories from work. Well, everything was fine until a few weeks ago when she called me crying, saying that she had found old messages between him and me from years ago. One message where he told me, "I missed you today," and me also telling him, "I wished you came to work today." The reason for those messages was due to the fact that we usually help each other with tasks at work and cover for each other. Besides that, we only talked about work, shared memes, work gossip, and one other conversation where he thanked me for helping him prepare for a presentation, which is something we usually do. She asked me if I ever had feelings for him. I said no because I genuinely didn't and never saw him that way. Then she asked if I'd be willing to let her read through my old phone backups and social media messages to see the context for those messages for her peace of mind. I laughed because I thought that she was joking or better still let her go through his phone, not mine. And I started getting annoyed when she kept insisting I allow her to go through my phone. She said if I had something to hide, I shouldn't have a problem proving it. And her friends suggested the same thing, and that if we did this one thing, it would help avoid future drama before the wedding. I refused immediately. Not because there's anything to hide, but because I think that's an insane invasion of privacy. Apparently, that made me look guilty in a way, but I just wanted her to go through his phone, not mine. She still asks why I won't clear my name and give it a rest. This even pissed me off more because she's focusing on the wrong person, and what name do I need to clear? She told my mom about the whole thing, and her response was that I'm being too prideful over little issues. My final straw was when my sister said she didn't feel comfortable having me at the wedding unless I handed over my phone first so that we could sort it out once and for all. But why can't she ask her fiancé? Her response was, "I don't want him to think that I don't trust him." So, I told her that I wouldn't be attending at all and that she could have the wedding she wanted without me there. Let her go through his phone, not mine. Well, one thing's for sure. If they do get married, this marriage is not going to last. I think you're in the clear, OP, because you know, obviously you have a right to your own privacy. But even more than that, this doesn't actually prove or disprove anything. If she looks through your messages, all that would prove is that you didn't, you know, sext or send sexy photos or whatever. And even then, it might not even prove that because you both could have deleted the messages. It's almost impossible to prove that something didn't happen. Proving that something did happen is a completely different matter. So, giving her your phone won't actually verify things one way or the other. It'll just be a slippery slope that leads to even more invasions of privacy. The problem isn't you and your phone. It's your sister and her insecurity and her possibly shaky relationship with her boyfriend. Am I the butthole for not defending my wife when my sister called her fat? My sister, who's 27, was visiting my wife and me the other day. An important thing to note about my sister is that she has a 5-year-old child with her now ex-boyfriend. When my sister found out she was pregnant, she told her then-boyfriend that she was pregnant. He wanted to marry her in a shotgun wedding of sorts, but my sister said no. The only information she offered up was that there was no way they would be compatible in the long term, and I don't think it's any of my business to probe or question her about it. Soon after, my sister and her boyfriend broke up, but they established a healthy co-parenting relationship, and they both now have 50/50 custody with stable, well-paying jobs and live close by to each other. My wife strongly thinks that my sister should have gotten married and hates that my sister refers to her ex-boyfriend as her baby daddy. I don't think my sister really cares that she had a child out of wedlock. But every time my wife meets my sister, she brings up the fact that she should try to get her boyfriend back and ask him to propose again and asks why she doesn't want to marry him. Especially since my sister's been single these past five years. It's gotten to the point that she told me privately that she's fed up with this and has asked me to speak to my wife about this, which I have. The other day, my sister visited my wife and me at our house. We were having a normal conversation, and my sister was talking about her son entering kindergarten and all the ways that she was preparing him. The conversation seemed pretty mundane until my wife once again brought up that my sister should try to get married at the courthouse with her ex-boyfriend and that the other parents would view her as immature and would think of her as illegitimate if she didn't. Before I could even jump in and say anything to diffuse the situation, my sister was raging and said that my wife should worry about her fat self and losing 100 pounds before worrying about her child and that a ring can't hide her triple chin and to worry less about her going to the courthouse and more about the gym. My wife's always been on the bigger side, and I absolutely love an...

country in Manitoba, Canada. I don't live directly on a lake, but there's a public beach nearby that anyone can go to. There's a little boat ramp and some nice sand at the water's edge. I like to swim, but I prefer to skinny dip.

However, because this is a public beach, I won't go totally naked. I just go topless. But I also understand that not every parent wants their children around a random lady's breasts, despite it being perfectly legal in Canada for

women to be topless in public. So, I usually go swimming at night. This beach doesn't have operating hours, so it's not against the rules or anything. One night, I was out swimming topless like I usually do and I saw some teenagers

riding their bikes on the road next to the beach. Well, I guess one of them told their parents or maybe someone else saw me because I got a visit from the cops today. They kind of had a vibe like

they knew they were here for a BS reason, but they still asked that I stop swimming topless. I told them I'd think about it. They wished me a good day and left. I don't know if I'm the butthole

because yeah, I get that it's not common to be topless in Canada, especially in smaller towns like mine, but I'm not doing anything illegal and usually no one is at the beach at night. Honestly, I'm kind of tempted to go sunbathe

topless now just out of spite. Lol. I don't even know why you posted this OP.

If it's legal, what's the problem? Even worse than that, I don't even know why the cops talk to you. Excuse me, miss.

Can you stop doing this completely legal activity? No, I'll do what I want. Thanks. Bye. Oh, okay. See you. Have a nice day. What a waste of man-hour. Am I the butthole for refusing to attend my sister's wedding after she wanted me to

prove that I didn't have anything with her fianceé? I'm a 26-year-old woman, and I've always been close with my older sister, who's 29. She's getting married in about a month to her fianceé, who she's been with for 4 years now. Before

they met, I worked at the same company as him for almost two years, and we were friendly co-workers. We normally grabbed lunch with other colleagues and occasionally texted about work. Nothing romantic ever happened between us. Fast forward a year, he and my sister meet

through mutual friends. When my sister found out that we already knew each other, she laughed it off and even joked that I should tell her if he had any embarrassing stories from work. Well, everything was fine until a few weeks

ago when she called me crying, saying that she had found old messages between him and me from years ago. One message where he told me, "I missed you today." And me also telling him, "I wished you came to work today." The reason for

those messages were due to the fact that we usually help each other with tasks at work and cover for each other. Besides that, we only talked about work, shared memes, work gossip, and one other conversation where he thanked me for

helping him prepare for a presentation, which is something we usually do. She asked me if I ever had feelings for him.

I said no because I genuinely didn't and never saw him that way. Then she asked if I'd be willing to let her read through my old phone backups and social media messages to see the context for those messages for her peace of mind. I

laughed because I thought that she was joking or better still let her go through his phone, not mine. And I started getting annoyed when she kept insisting I allow her to go through my phone. She said if I had something to

hide, I shouldn't have a problem proving it. And her friends suggested the same thing, and that if we did this one thing, it would help avoid future drama before the wedding. I refused immediately. Not because there's anything to hide, but because I think

that's an insane invasion of privacy. Apparently, that made me look guilty in a way, but I just wanted her to go through his phone, not mine. She still asks why I won't clear my name and give it a rest. This even pissed me off more

because she's focusing on the wrong person, and what name do I need to clear? She told my mom about the whole thing and her response was that I'm being too prideful over little issues.

My final straw was when my sister said she didn't feel comfortable having me at the wedding unless I handed over my phone first so that we could sort it out once and for all. But why can't she ask

her fianceé? Her response was, "I don't want him to think that I don't trust him." So, I told her that I wouldn't be attending at all and that she could have the wedding she wanted without me there.

Let her go through his phone, not mine. Well, one thing's for sure. If they do get married, this marriage is not going to last. I think you're in the clear, OP, because you know, obviously you have a right to your own privacy. But even

more than that, this doesn't actually prove or disprove anything. If she looks through your messages, all that would prove is that you didn't, you know, sex or send sexy photos or whatever. And even then, it might not even prove that

because you both could have deleted the messages. It's almost impossible to prove that something didn't happen.

Proving that something did happen is a completely different matter. So, giving her your phone won't actually verify things one way or the other. It'll just be a slippery slope that leads to even more invasions of privacy. The problem

isn't you and your phone. It's your sister and her insecurity and her possibly shaky relationship with her boyfriend. Am I the butthole for not defending my wife when my sister called her fat? My sister, who's 27, was visiting my wife and me the other day.

An important thing to note about my sister is that she has a 5-year-old child with her now ex-boyfriend. When my sister found out she was pregnant, she told her then boyfriend that she was pregnant. He wanted to marry her in a

shotgun wedding of sorts, but my sister said no. The only information she offered up was that there was no way they would be compatible in the long term, and I don't think it's any of my business to probe or question her about

it. Soon after, my sister and her boyfriend broke up, but they established a healthy co-parenting relationship, and they both now have 50/50 custody with stable, well-paying jobs and live close by to each other. My wife strongly thinks that my sister should have gotten

married and hates that my sister refers to her ex-boyfriend as her baby daddy. I don't think my sister really cares that she had a child out of wedlock. But every time my wife meets my sister, she brings up the fact that she should try

to get her boyfriend back and ask him to propose again and asks why she doesn't want to marry him. Especially since my sister's been single these past 5 years.

It's gotten to the point that she told me privately that she's fed up with this and has asked me to speak to my wife about this, which I have. The other day, my sister visited my wife and I at our

house. We were having a normal conversation and my sister was talking about her son entering kindergarten and all the ways that she was preparing him.

The conversation seemed pretty mundane until my wife once again brought up that my sister should try to get married at the courthouse with her ex-boyfriend and that the other parents would view her as immature and would think of her as

illegitimate if she didn't. Before I could even jump in and say anything to diffuse the situation, my sister was raging and said that my wife should worry about her fat self and losing 100 lb before worrying about her child and

that a ring can't hide her triple chin and to worry less about her going to the courthouse and more about the gym. My wife's always been on the bigger side and I absolutely love and adore her, but it is one of her biggest insecurities.

She ended up sobbing while my sister grabbed her things and left. This whole argument took about 2 minutes and I froze up and didn't really know what to do. After my sister left, my wife asked why I didn't say anything to defend her

to my sister. I was honest and said I thought that she was wrong for calling my sister immature and her child illegitimate. While I acknowledged it was wrong for my sister to make the comment she did, I don't think they were

completely unprovoked. My wife is now giving me the silent treatment. So, Reddit, am I the butthole? OP, I am amazed at your sister's patience. She's been hearing the exact same nagging for 5 years straight. I wouldn't be able to

handle 5 minutes of being nagged before getting pissed off at the person who was doing the nagging. So, I'm 100% on the sister's side. She has the patience of a saint. Opie's wife needs to get off her high horse. Am I the butthole for

refusing to follow my friend's parents' house rules and leaving? I'm a 22-year-old woman and my boyfriend is 23. We've been together since high school for almost 6 years. We just moved in together after I graduated in May.

We're not officially engaged yet, but we're planning to get married once he finishes grad school. An old friend from high school invited us to his family's beach house for the holiday last weekend. When we got there Friday, we

realized that his mom and dad were spending the weekend, too, which was fine. It's their house, and they seem to have their own plans for the weekend.

They were happy to let us do our own thing during the days, and they had drinks in the hot tub with us Friday evening, and were actually really cool.

But that night when my boyfriend and I started getting ready for bed, our friend's mom pulled me aside and said that my boyfriend would need to sleep on the couch in the living room instead of with me in the guest room because we

aren't married. I was surprised because our friend hadn't mentioned this and my boyfriend and I live together and everything. I said okay but felt really uncomfortable. I have trouble sleeping in new places and sleeping next to my boyfriend helps. My boyfriend was also

annoyed that he had to sleep on an uncomfortable couch where there's a perfectly good bed. So, we decided it would be best to get a hotel in town and meet up with our friend the next morning. When we told our friend, he was

kind of weird about it, but said okay. So, we left and checked into our hotel.

The next morning, we called to see what time our friend wanted to meet up. He seemed mad and said that he couldn't hang out and that his mom and dad flipped out at him for letting us go to

a hotel and said we didn't appreciate their hospitality. So, we ended up just doing our own thing for the weekend and not seeing our friend at all. Our friend texted us again on Monday saying he was really angry that we couldn't have slept

apart for two nights just to make his parents happy and that we won't be invited to Friendsgiving this year. So, are we the butthole for leaving and getting our own place? I mean, this story started off fine. The parents are

allowed to have their own rules, and OP is allowed to be like, "Yeah, I don't care about those rules. I'm going to leave and do my own thing." That's totally fine. But getting upset at OP and getting your panties in a twist that

they decided to leave, that's when things get weird. So, OP, you get zero out of five buttholes. You did nothing wrong. The parents get one out of five buttholes for getting mad at you, not for the rules, which I think are more or

less acceptable. That was r/mithe butthole. And if you like this content, check out my podcast where I publish the exact same episodes. Also, hit that subscribe button because I put out new Reddit videos every single