r/AITA My Aunt Stole My Inheritance — Transcript

OP shares struggles caring for grandfather and family betrayal over inheritance, plus challenges with girlfriend's brother gaming all day.

Key Takeaways

Caring for elderly family members can lead to emotional and financial strain, especially when other relatives are uninvolved.
Family secrets and lack of communication can cause deep hurt and mistrust.
Setting boundaries with adult family members who avoid responsibility is necessary, even if it causes tension.
Helping family members, even with mixed motives, is better than neglecting them.
Open and honest conversations are crucial to resolving long-standing family conflicts.

Summary

OP cared for his grandfather after a stroke, managing medical needs and caregiving costs largely on his own.
Grandfather secretly transferred his apartment to OP's aunt, who rarely helped, causing family tension and feelings of betrayal.
OP stopped paying for grandfather's care after discovering the apartment was given to the aunt without informing him.
Family members criticized OP for counting expenses and questioned his motives regarding the inheritance.
A separate story involves OP putting a Wi-Fi bedtime pause on his girlfriend's 28-year-old brother, who has been gaming and avoiding adulthood for nearly a decade.
The brother's wife left him due to his lack of ambition, and family members are tired of addressing his behavior.
OP's girlfriend is upset about the Wi-Fi pause, associating it with controlling behavior from her childhood.
OP emphasizes that enabling the brother's behavior is harmful and that he is not punishing a child but an adult.
The video includes commentary on family dynamics, responsibility, and the challenges of confronting difficult family issues.
The narrator rates OP's actions as justified and not blameworthy in both situations.

Chapters

Full Transcript — Download SRT & Markdown

Speaker A

Welcome to r/amithebutthole, where OP gets scammed out of his inheritance. Am I the butthole for stopping payment for my grandfather's care after I found out he secretly gave the apartment to my aunt? My grandfather had a stroke almost two years ago. After

Speaker A

he got out of the hospital, he couldn't really manage on his own anymore. He wasn't bedridden, but his memory was failing. His blood pressure was constantly fluctuating, and sometimes he would leave the gas on or call me in the

Speaker A

middle of the night because he thought someone was walking around the apartment. I live nearby, about a 20-minute drive, so everything gradually fell on me. Doctors, medications, paperwork, trips, groceries. When things got tougher, I found a caregiver for a

Speaker A

couple of days a week. His pension covered part of the expenses, but a decent caregiver and post-stroke medications were very expensive. So, I was constantly chipping in my own money.

Speaker A

Sometimes 1,000 to 2,000 bucks a month would just disappear. The rest of the family seemed to only exist in name. My aunt would come by once every couple of months with some fruit, take pictures with grandpa, post something about the

Speaker A

family, and then disappear again. My cousins hardly ever showed up at all. And yes, this is probably important. I really thought that grandpa's apartment would end up becoming mine. Grandpa himself said more than once that I was the only one helping him, and that

Speaker A

everything would be fair. I even put off moving to another city because I knew he simply wouldn't make it without me. But, I do not think that grandpa was obligated to leave the apartment to me.

Speaker A

What really hurt me was that for years, they let me live under the impression that we're a family and honest with each other, while behind my back they'd already decided everything. A few weeks ago, I came home earlier than usual and

Speaker A

overheard my aunt and grandpa talking in the kitchen. She was trying to convince him not to leave the apartment to me because I only helped for my own benefit. She said that she has children, a mortgage, and a real family. And

Speaker A

grandpa agreed with her. That's when I found out that he had already transferred the apartment to her six months ago. No one told me anything.

Speaker A

Meanwhile, I kept paying for the caregiver and some of the medication all this time because I was sure that at least we were being honest with each other. I didn't make a scene. I just told my aunt that since the apartment

Speaker A

was now hers, the responsibility should be hers, too. I warned her that starting next month, I wouldn't be paying for anything anymore. Now, there's a weird atmosphere in the family. No one tells me I'm wrong, but there are constantly

Speaker A

comments like, "Well, he's an old man. Why are you counting every penny? You can't do that because of the inheritance." And now, I don't even understand myself. Did they really take advantage of me, or do I look like

Speaker A

someone who only helped my grandpa for the sake of an apartment? OP, no good deed goes unpunished, and you're really getting screwed for your good deed here.

Speaker A

I have to wonder if your aunt somehow exploited your grandfather because, you know, you said it yourself, he's not 100% there. OP, you get zero out of five buttholes. If anything, you've gone above and beyond. It can be someone

Speaker A

else's problem now. And like people are trashing on you because they think that you only helped for the sake of the apartment, but even if that is the case, OP still did help. No one else helped.

Speaker A

Isn't helping for semi-selfish reasons still better than leaving the guy to die on his own? Am I the butthole for putting a bedtime pause on the Wi-Fi because my girlfriend's 28-year-old brother has spent nearly a decade rotting in our house playing video

Speaker A

games? Around eight years ago, my girlfriend's younger brother moved back into our house with his wife after leaving the Marines. After high school, he enlisted, spent a few years mostly doing support and base-related work, then got out. His plan was to use his GI

Speaker A

Bill, pursue a real education, and figure out a long-term career path while staying with us temporarily. We fully supported them. No rent, free housing, utilities, internet, food, and we constantly cooked meals for them. We also helped with job opportunities,

Speaker A

resources, and encouragement. The problem is that temporary slowly became years. He never committed to school, never held a serious job, and slowly spent almost all of his time gaming. He stays up until sunrise, wakes up around 3:00 p.m., and avoids people whenever

Speaker A

guests come over. Meanwhile, his wife worked full-time as a cashier supporting both of them. Eventually, she cheated and left him saying she no longer felt anything for someone who's lost all ambition and passion for life. Cheating is wrong, but I understood how

Speaker A

resentment could build after years of caring for someone. After the divorce, he admitted that he had wasted years of his life and promised he wanted to change.

Speaker A

We supported him through that, too. Then, my girlfriend's parents moved back onto the property to emotionally support him as well. The house was originally purchased by them years ago before being transferred into our names. So, technically, it's ours now, but there's

Speaker A

still family attachment involved. Fast-forward to now, and nothing has changed. He's 28 and still spends nearly all day in his room gaming. I brought this issue up to my girlfriend multiple times over the years. Almost every time, she either gets angry at me for bringing

Speaker A

it up or says he's working on a study program or figuring things out, but those plans never actually happen. Her parents have also admitted they're tired of talking to him because nothing changes. At this point, I honestly feel

Speaker A

like I'm stuck in an echo chamber where everyone recognizes the problem, but nobody wants to confront it anymore. Two weeks ago, I quietly set a Wi-Fi bedtime pause from 12:00 a.m. to 6:00 a.m. since my girlfriend and I pay basically all

Speaker A

utilities, including internet. Honestly, I thought that it would affect nobody except him because everyone else sleeps like normal adults. My girlfriend got upset because I did it without telling her. She said that she couldn't sleep knowing there was tension in the house

Speaker A

because of the Wi-Fi pause. She also explained that growing up, her grandparents controlled things in the house in ways that made her feel like she had no freedom. So, the Wi-Fi situation brought back bad memories. I told her I understood that and agreed

Speaker A

that what her grandparents did was unfair, but I also told her that she isn't a child anymore and neither is her brother. This isn't parents punishing teenagers. This is a 28-year-old grown man spending nearly a decade avoiding adulthood when everyone around him

Speaker A

financially cushions the consequences. I finally told her something that came from years of frustration. Somehow, everyone can sleep peacefully while watching her brother waste his life isolated in a bedroom gaming all night, but pausing the internet for six hours

Speaker A

suddenly becomes the unbearable problem. She thinks that I'm being cruel towards someone who may be depressed. I think everyone has spent years enabling self-destruction because nobody wants to be the bad guy. This post is super fixated on the brother, but I'm actually

Speaker A

more concerned about OP. He's had to live with his girlfriend's family members for eight years, including who knows how long with his in-laws. Who wants to live that long with their in-laws, man?

Speaker A

OP has been insanely generous to his girlfriend, but the real problem is, "Oh, well, my grandparents were mean a while ago, so now we can't turn off Wi-Fi." Yo, give me a break. Also, OP posted a long

Speaker A

update, which is basically just him saying that he had a serious sit-down conversation with the girlfriend, and there's now a deadline and things are going to change, or else. Anyways, OP, I'm giving you a solid zero out of five

Speaker A

buttholes. You've been insanely generous to your girlfriend and her family. I'm giving your g

Speaker A

Am I the butt hole for not letting my friend use the photographer that she refused to hire with me? I'm a 28-year-old woman and I just graduated with my PhD in the United States. I'm an international student and my family

Speaker A

couldn't afford to fly in, so I was alone. Months ago, I asked my best friend and roommate, Elena, who's also graduating, to split a photographer. She said that it was a waste of money. I even asked if her family could take a

Speaker A

few pictures of me on their phone, and she said no because they'd be too busy focusing on her. At graduation, a representative from my country's consulate came to congratulate me and asked if I needed anything. I asked for

Speaker A

a couple of photos on my phone for my parents. He ended up calling their official media photographer, who came and took photos and videos of me. Elena saw this and ran over asking if he could also film her walking on stage and do a

Speaker A

full photo shoot of her with her parents, friends, and adviser. I told her she could ask him, but I wasn't comfortable asking because I didn't hire him. He's an employee of the consulate and he was there for official reasons.

Speaker A

She called me selfish, stormed off, and later texted me uninviting me from the graduation party that we'd planned for weeks, saying I ruined her day and she's not comfortable seeing me. Am I the butt hole? So, she couldn't ask her mom to

Speaker A

say, "Hey, could you take a picture of my friend?" But, she expects you to to do a full photo shoot? What a selfish hypocrite. OP, losing Elena as a friend is a net positive in your life. You get

Speaker A

zero out of five butt holes. Elena gets 1.5. Am I the butt hole for not giving my co-worker my baseball tickets? I'm a 28-year-old guy, and I received two baseball tickets for the Toronto Blue Jays at a work Christmas party. It was a

Speaker A

random draw, and various suppliers sent over various items from alcohol to coffee makers. One vendor splits a season pass every year with his brother and gave up two of his seats for the party. They were fantastic seats, by the

Speaker A

way. My co-worker, a 60-year-old woman, works in the office and knew every gift that came in. She really wanted those Blue Jay tickets. The moment I got those tickets, my co-worker began trying to convince me to give her the tickets. She

Speaker A

argues that I don't watch baseball, and I can't drive to Toronto. I invited my mother. My mom rarely passes the opportunity to spend time with me, and I never say no to free anything. My co-worker says that she would appreciate

Speaker A

the tickets more, but I said no. Over the next few months, while I set up the date with the vendor to go to the game, my co-worker would try to get me to transfer the tickets over. I stay firm

Speaker A

about keeping the tickets. Things hit an end yesterday. My co-worker tried to call the vendor to tell him that she now owns the tickets. I already took the tickets weeks ago. The vendor tells her to talk to me as I already got the

Speaker A

tickets. She goes up to me while I'm on the factory floor and goes on a rant about the tickets and how I need to transfer them to her. I snapped and told her, "Over my dead body." Later, one of

Speaker A

my buddies on the floor says I could have handled it better. I'm just fed up with her trying to get me to transfer my tickets. This lady literally tried to steal from you. They're your tickets and she tried to scam someone else into

Speaker A

handing over your property and your buddy says be nice to her. Why? She's a dirty little thief. I'm on your side OP.

Speaker A

Zero out of five butt holes. I hope you catch a fly ball. Am I the butt hole for getting irritated at an elderly lady who wouldn't take no for an answer? My wife, daughter and I were eating breakfast at

Speaker A

McDonald's this morning and an elderly lady walks up with a brown envelope and says that she's collecting money for St.

Speaker A

Jude's. Would I like to donate? I politely decline and explain that all I have on me is a card and I donate a significant sum to them at Christmas in memory of my grandmother who used to do the same. The lady walks off to other

Speaker A

tables, then comes back to us and asks if we have any change whatsoever. I say no and then she says I could go get cash back. I then go, "Ma'am, my family and I are eating, as you can see. Can you

Speaker A

please go on about your day?" The lady walks off, then comes back one last time and starts asking again before I end up going, "Lady, leave us the F alone." And a lady at the other table over from us

Speaker A

goes, "You don't have to be a butt hole." Am I the butt hole here? OP, are you a butt hole for yelling at a scammer? No, you're not the butt hole because she is a scammer. I mean, even

Speaker A

if [laughter] I'm sorry. I was going [snorts] to say, even if she was legitimately collecting, then, you know, she's still being a butt hole and she deserves to be talked back to, but I I got sidetracked because I

Speaker A

saw this comment. Not the butt hole. She wasn't collecting for St. Jude's, she was collecting for St. Meth. Yeah, the thing is, you don't have to go through a middleman. Keep that in mind. Someone says, "Hey, will you donate?" You don't

Speaker A

have to give them money. Give this weird random person money. You can go to the website and directly donate without the middleman. That was r/amithebutt hole and if you like this content, check out my podcast where I publish the exact

Speaker A

same episodes. Also, hit that subscribe button because I put out new Reddit videos every single day.

Topics:inheritancefamily conflictcaregivingstroke recoveryfamily betrayaladult childrengaming addictionfamily responsibilityrSlashAITA

Frequently Asked Questions

Why did OP stop paying for his grandfather's care?

OP stopped paying after discovering that his grandfather had secretly transferred the apartment to his aunt, who rarely helped with care, leading OP to feel taken advantage of.

What was the issue with the girlfriend's brother?

The brother had been living in the house for nearly a decade, avoiding adulthood by gaming all day, which caused frustration and led OP to impose a Wi-Fi bedtime pause.

How did the family react to OP's actions regarding the inheritance?

Family members made comments implying OP was selfish for counting expenses and questioned his motives, creating a tense atmosphere without directly confronting him.

Get More with the Söz AI App

Transcribe recordings, audio files, and YouTube videos — with AI summaries, speaker detection, and unlimited transcriptions.

App Store Google Play

Or transcribe another YouTube video here →

Free tools: TXT to SRT · SRT Validator · Merge SRT · Subtitle to Text · All tools