НЕ ПЬЮ БОЛЬШЕ МЕСЯЦА: ЧТО ИЗМЕНИЛОСЬ

Yuri Khovansky shares his experience of being sober for over a month, discussing physical pain, health, and lifestyle changes after quitting alcohol.

Key Takeaways

Alcoholics often do not feel pain, which can mask serious health issues.
Quitting alcohol is the most effective way to address alcohol-related health problems.
Medical professionals mainly advise stopping drinking; other treatments are limited.
Physical fitness and self-care are important parts of recovery from alcoholism.
Sobriety brings new physical sensations and challenges that require adjustment.

What the video covers

Yuri Khovansky reflects on the physical pain he now feels after quitting alcohol, which he did not experience while drinking.
He explains that alcoholics often do not feel bodily pain, which can lead to severe health issues going unnoticed.
Yuri shares his opinion that binge drinkers may not need frequent doctor visits since the main advice is always to stop drinking.
He discusses the limitations of medical treatment for alcoholism-related health problems and the inevitability of quitting alcohol to improve health.
Yuri talks about his efforts to regain physical fitness, including using an exercise bike and slowly improving his condition.
He mentions the psychological and physical challenges of sobriety, including changes in appetite and body signals.
Yuri reflects on the social and personal aspects of sobriety, including interactions with friends and viewers.
He emphasizes that persistent health symptoms should be checked by a doctor, but quitting alcohol is the primary solution.
Yuri shares a candid and humorous perspective on his journey, blending personal anecdotes with broader observations about alcoholism.
He highlights the importance of self-awareness and personal responsibility in managing health and sobriety.

Chapters

What physical changes did Yuri notice after quitting alcohol?

Yuri noticed that he began to feel physical pain in his body, which he did not experience while drinking. His body started signaling hunger and discomfort, indicating a return of normal bodily sensations.

Does Yuri believe alcoholics need to see doctors regularly?

Yuri believes that binge drinkers like himself may not need frequent doctor visits because the main advice from doctors is always to stop drinking. However, he acknowledges that if symptoms persist, seeing a doctor is important.

What is Yuri's main advice for dealing with alcohol-related health issues?

Yuri's main advice is to quit drinking, as medical treatments can only alleviate symptoms temporarily. Stopping alcohol consumption is the key to improving health and preventing further damage.

Full Transcript — Download SRT & Markdown

Speaker A

Hello everyone, ladies and gentlemen. Yuri Khovansky with you. I've been sober for over a month, and that means it's time for a biweekly, sometimes even triweekly, because I've given up on it, weekly, monthly, I don't know, report on what's changed in my life,

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how I feel, whether I miss alcohol. I know I'm probably boring you all, but for me, this is a kind of therapy, so we'll start talking again.

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First, for fuck's sake. The first thing I wanted to talk about, and what, so to speak, has changed, is the pain. Um, it's not like I have pain in something like my liver or my head. I have pain

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everywhere, but only when it's justified. I mean, let me try to explain. I didn't have any fucking pain before. I fucking forgot what pain was, being an alcoholic. I remember once, well, not a cavity, but what happens

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before a cavity, basically. Without anesthesia, without anything, because I asked for it. We were, like, in a hurry; they needed to take off some kind of dick. And so I was just driving past my dentist's office and, well, I just,

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well, I didn't feel any pain. I didn't know my body could give me such uncool impulses. As soon as I slowly sobered up, literally everything hurt. I mean, fuck, I pulled something, this shit stayed with me for a couple of days,

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fuck, I was there, fuck laid there, my leg shot up, fuck, I'm walking around limping. And if, fuck, for example, I haven't eaten, yeah, well, I just forgot to eat, I never really

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crave food. I just watched an awesome podcast about building a porridge, and the guys there call it an eating disorder. I don't know, I was just always drinking and didn't care about food. And then, like, whenever I forget

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to eat, my stomach fucking hurts. I mean, it doesn't fucking react like it usually does, like puking up bile, or just throwing up, like, whatever I drank, for example. But no, it's like, "Dude, it hurts, like, feed me." I'm

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like, "What the fuck, stomach? We didn't fucking agree on this." But overall, I mean, there aren't any pains that can't be explained by a fucking sedentary lifestyle, the fact that I'm a fucking idiot. And, basically, a lack

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of physical fitness. Let's be honest, for the last who knows how many years, well, since I became a blogger, I've probably only been into dicks and a pencil case. Like, I've never held anything heavier than a penis in my

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hands, so I let myself go. But I think it's possible to live with it. I mean, the pain isn't the fucking worst thing, but, honestly, it was better without it. It's not a fact that all alcoholics

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are like this, because, for example, doctors tell me that I have the worst type of alcoholic in terms of my liver; it doesn't hurt or bother me at all. I mean, people like that drink until they die. Those whose liver is capable of

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giving any signals just, well, find it hard to drink. And those alcoholics who are lucky enough not to feel their body's signals just drink, drink, drink, drink until one day, just fucking die. Well, in short, fuck, if someone

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tells you that alcohol will make you hurt, that's bullshit. I mean, if you're a chronic alcoholic, you won't have any pain. It seems to me that when homeless people get drunk, well, their bodies don't ache, they're not cold,

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they're not hot, they don't feel any pain, even if their feet are frozen. So, a sober lifestyle is, first and foremost, a trade-off of pain for some kind of, well, lack of physical, how can I put it, physical activity, keep

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that in mind. Now, the next point is highly debatable, but these are the conclusions I've come to for myself. Of course, I don't do it that way, but it seems to me that alcoholics like me, who are binge drinkers, don't need to

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go to the doctor. They just don't need to. Of course, I do, because I'm rich and I really want to live. But the only thing doctors can really tell you is, "Stop drinking." I mean, yeah, they can

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prescribe a bunch of fucking pills, give you IVs, and so on and so forth.

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But, uh, these are like medical procedures, uh, that's what helps. And in terms of some kind of global treatment, well, what can they do? I mean, no matter which doctor I go to, they all say: "Quit it, drink." And

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that's it. I mean, how can I put it, it seems to me, I'm wasting doctors' time that they could be spending on really sick people. I mean, there are people who have serious health problems and who didn't cause them themselves

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through alcoholism. Some have something hereditary, some have injuries, maybe overwork. And then I come in like: "Doctor, I've come back again, damn it, what, when can I start drinking?" Well, like, basically, it seems to me, well, well, for example, if you have pain and

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you drink constantly, I'll save you time. You can stop drinking and not go to the doctor. This, of course, is fucked up. They'd give me hell for saying that, and say, "No, Yura, don't even think about it. Everyone needs to

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see a doctor right away." But it seems to me that if you're constantly drinking and you've got a stabbing pain in your liver, or your heart, or a headache, you already know everything.

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Quit drinking or, fuck, live with it. Go to the doctor, he'll tell you, "Quit drinking." And you'll say, "I'm not quitting." And they'll prescribe you some kind of drugs that will only make things worse. Well, that's the

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worst-case scenario. In the best-case scenario, of course, if you have money, they'll somehow alleviate your, like, roughly speaking, headache and all that, but the cause will still be alcohol.

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I mean, basically, medicine can't advise alcoholics anything except cleansing themselves out with all sorts of blood pressure protectors, damn it.

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There's absolutely no way you're fucking sick and you're constantly drinking, and they tell you, "Oh, it's not from the alcohol, it's just from watching TV at high volume. Turn it down and the pain will go away." No, no,

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no, it's all from the fucking alcohol. It's all from the alcohol. If, well, you're fucking drinking, not just moderately or a glass of wine, like Shikhman said in her interview with Kristallev every day, no, if you're

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really drinking, then it's highly likely that it's not cancer or some hepatitis or, uh, COVID. It's because you're drinking. So, first, I'd advise you to quit drinking, and if the symptoms persist, you can go to the doctor. But again, that's my personal

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opinion. So, fuck, someone will say: "Always straight away: Go to the fucking doctor." Well, in fact, fuck, I didn't hear anything. I kind of went, well, maybe I'm fucking different from

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you in health, in, uh, how can I say it, predisposition of internal organs, but just, fuck, wherever I go, you drink. I drink. Well, well, fuck, so what? And then they do 500 tests, you

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take it all, undergo an examination, and in the end they tell you: "Yes, that's right, it's because you drink." Like: "Yes, yes, you're definitely an alcoholic, we checked everything, everything fucking matches." But again, it's everyone's choice. It's just, uh,

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I probably feel a little offended for wasting my time and money just for the sake of hearing, "Stop drinking." What else? Madison, on stream, after going to the sauna, so to speak, declared that I'm in great shape, although I'm

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far from being in great shape, huh, but I weigh 85, after all, I'm steel, damn.

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Uh, I mean, I'm slowly getting myself back in shape. Well, I practically don't do anything, except for the exercise bike. But an exercise bike, of course, is a weird thing. My buddy came to help me set it up. He's a trainer,

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you know, and all that shit. And he says, "Look, I've got you all set up.

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Mountainous terrain. You ride," he says, "20 km a day." I'm like, "No fucking question." I got on it, rode uphill for about 200 kilometers or something, and was like, "My legs are fucking falling off." And now I've finally gotten up to

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7 km at a time, but my friend still says, "It's no use." I tell him, "Like, uh, 7 km." He's like, "That's it, that seven is fucking nothing, saying you need zero. Either 20, or fuck, li

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won't lose weight at this rate. But maybe, like, I'll get to twenty. Then we'll film a video of me [ __ ] climbing a hill, I'll buy myself a tight cycling suit like Oleg Tinkov's, and just sit there pedaling. Well, that

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is, if I really go crazy, like. I don't know, an exercise bike isn't really the most [ __ ] effective investment, but at least it's more fun than just walking somewhere or, like, using a step platform or a treadmill. Like, you

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know, for me, a bike has remained some kind of, uh, distant memory from childhood. As an adult, I never even got on that [ __ ] two-wheeler. And now, [ __ ] it, I still have to ride around town so schoolchildren can film

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me, looking fat and puffing, riding on some kind of leash. And at home, I'd put on some [ __ ] Boys episode, watch the [ __ ] out of it, and then ride around, like, leisurely, unhurriedly. I pedaled the damn thing as much as I

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could. Then I got off and had a [ __ ] rest. Well, in short, I [ __ ] liked the exercise bike. I could recommend it , but only to those who are genuinely interested in cycling. I mean, [ __ ], if

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you don't give a [ __ ] about bikes, there's a better way to spend money, especially since it cost enough to pay for a three-year [ __ ] gym membership , including lessons with a personal trainer. But, [ __ ], I'm not gay, so

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some [ __ ] guy can touch me and tell me how to [ __ ] lose weight. I bought myself a bike. [ __ ], no [ __ ] way.

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Also, basically, uh, a big problem with my gaming addiction, well, how can I say it, my love for computer games didn't last long. Either I just came across some good games back then, or, [ __ ], well, I downloaded Mafia I, set

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it to classic difficulty, [ __ ], I was sitting there, got to the race, like," [ __ ], what a race. "And so I went through the race, and through it, and through it, and somehow, yeah, and I

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wasn't really interested in what happened next. Like, some kind of shitty shootouts, like, then, [ __ ], I beat Westworld III, I thought everyone would get achievements. I look, and there are two achievements with 0%of players, because the game is [ __ ]

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buggy and unfinished. I was upset, I completed it, but not all of them, not all the achievements. Same thing. I didn't complete all the achievements. I played all the games a bit, completely uninstalled Avengers. What the hell, why did I even buy that [ __ ] Star

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Wars Squadron? [ __ ], I didn't even complete the [ __ ] campaign. No, it's not interesting, in short, [ __ ].

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Gaming addiction, [ __ ], as a substitute for alcoholism, I might add, only works if there are great games coming out. If there are no great games , then Hearthstone alone won't get you very far. Still, thoughts start

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creeping into my head. Should I have a beer instead of this [ __ ] I'm doing now ? I was talking about Ilya, now I remember. The main thing is, I [ __ ] relapsed. This is my first, so to speak

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, relapse. Well, the last times I could probably consider it a relapse when I gave up sobriety and started drinking again. Ah, but generally, it's not customary for me to relapse while sober . I mean, all the previous times I sat

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patiently waiting, waiting, waiting, and then, wow, that's it, I start drinking. And then, for some reason, we've been wanting to make a film called" Brat i Boska "(The Brotherhood) for a long time. By the way, I hope you

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like it. Although it could have turned out worse. Literally everything in the world conspired against the filming of this movie. The local grannies, the weather, transport, Grisha. Well, what happened, happened. It will be on the channel soon. I hope you like it.

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That's it. And there they had to drink beer in the scene. I'm like, well, I've never used fake alcohol in the scene, because that's just [ __ ] [ __ ].

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And I'm like, well, you know, and I'm looking at something, I'm almost out of a bottle, and Madison's still like, well, he's only drunk so much, I'm like ," So, what's the matter? "I grab another bottle and once and again and

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again and something like that. Once, once, once, once, once, once, once. I feel like I'm already wasted. And this is so good, guys, so wonderful. I haven't felt this way in a long time.

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That's it. And the wine, we'll get to the wine. And I'm not really into wine back then. I haven't had it for so long , and it's [ __ ] amazing. Now, [ __ ], if you were worried that, oh, I haven't

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had beer in a long time, what if it seems as tasteless as the first time?

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No, no, that kind of [ __ ] won't happen with beer. The beer is amazing.

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Then we went, of course, the sauna couldn't be booked until the evening. We went to the bar. I say, I go right up to him and say, the bartender has some kvass. He says," We don't have kvass, the juices are freshly squeezed.

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"I say," I can't have juices, they're too acidic, bring me some beer. "And then, for some [ __ ] reason, I'm sitting there again, one beer, two beers, and then it just keeps going and going, and then it's time for the sauna

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. I'm like," Well, well, what am I supposed to do in the steam room without beer? That's idiotism. "I've heard people say," You can't go into the steam room with alcohol. Are you stupid? It's bad for your heart.

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Everything is bad for everything, damn it. You can't do anything in the steam room without alcohol. "I took it, went for a normal walk, and then came home and thought:" But I have a bottle of wine lying around from that drunken

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time. I never finished the last one. And it turns out that tomorrow I'll wake up, I'll want a hangover, I'll drink it, and the hangover will turn into a binge, and, long story short, I drank it right away. "And so the wine

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seemed disgusting when I first started drinking this bottle. Like, well, literally the first half glass, it seemed disgusting, but the beer, the beer, just like with lube, went away right away and made me happy. So, after such incidents, it's really hard in

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general, not to mention quitting— that's actually easy, like you wake up with a hangover, you don't really want to, like—but you think:" Why the [ __ ] am I even doing all this? Like, it's just as fun, [ __ ], with beer, like.

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"And so I think: this day, it, if this denouement didn’t give rise to a binge, it kind of increased my binge on the other side, well, it kind of brought the end of sobriety closer.

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Because when you drink and drink and drink, and you’re so cheerful, and everything is so good, like, and you’re so happy—and yes, and then the thought arises: “Why the [ __ ] should I not do this?” Like, I'm

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sitting here, and I can't stand this [ __ ] water anymore, [ __ ]. Kvass is the only thing that saves me. But they told me that if you drink a lot of kvass, you'll start [ __ ] yourself.

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They were right. Now, [ __ ], I try to drink a lot of water and little kvass, but [ __ ], kvass is almost like beer.

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Like, kvass is a non-alcoholic bro. But still, it's not beer. Not even close to beer. Oh, yeah. And please, stop recommending non-alcoholic beer to me.

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Non-alcoholic beer is piss. It's much worse than kvass. It's the worst. It's even worse than [ __ ] water, because it's piss. But beer and kvass, having drunk beer, I can say for sure that kvass will never be able to completely

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replace beer. It's kind of close. It is , but it's like a bro who is also cool, but the last bro was cooler, and he tragically died. And everyone in the company remembers the old one, bro. And the new one seems to be trying to fill

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the active void in their souls, but they still remember the same one, in short, [ __ ], and then he [ __ ] rises from the grave for the whole day, and you hang out with him, and it turns out

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that, yeah, he's a super cool bro, and we had some kind of sucker. No offense, kvass, but you're a sucker compared to beer. Anyway, I don't know why I'm saying all this, but I'll try not to break down from now on, but I'll warn

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you right away, New Year's is coming up . My [ __ ] birthday is coming up, I'm turning 31. So I can't vouch for these two [ __ ] days at all. Like, who the [ __ ] knows what's going to happen there

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. But then again, [ __ ], because I, for example, sober, when I woke up with a hangover, my whole right side of my torso hurt. That Yes, [ __ ], this never happened before when I was a heavy

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drinker. I mean, it's like I was being beaten, like. And I remember that I wasn't being beaten. No need to write.

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You got drunk, you got beaten. No, it just feels like gnomes, [ __ ], first [ __ ] you from the outside with their little feet, then climbed inside and [ __ ] your organs some more. I don't

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know why gnomes, [ __ ], well, well, imagine, gnomes, fairies, gnomes, [ __ ], these small, vile little people, [ __ ], got in and [ __ ] you, and only like around the cave or or I don't know what else, [ __ ], is here.

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I'm not an expert in human anatomy, [ __ ], but, in short, it's not fun, friends, not fun. But, but before that, it was really fun, so I also noticed about myself, uh, [ __ ], I've become irritable. It's just Everyone who talks

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to me has noticed, and I think the banned people who are now sitting there and can't write a comment have noticed too. But I can't do anything about it.

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I'm trying to stay positive. Anyone who's subscribed to the Telegram channel has undoubtedly heard and understands what I'm talking about, about my, so to speak, monologue. Now I'm positive, like, uh, like Kolya Rosov told me, that this Sula guy said

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that I'll live happy and die happy. That's how I set myself up. Well, it's [ __ ] hard to be positive without alcohol. It's just [ __ ] hard. If I could laugh at some things before, now I just want to, [ __ ], [ __ ], and

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if, as you understand, I wanted something before, ah, now it's just [ __ ], [ __ ], how I want to learn how to fly a plane. Just take some bomber and, ah, bam, [ __ ] destroy everything there, with [ __ ] hydrogen

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bombs, so that there won't even be any [ __ ] atoms left, [ __ ] cobalt, so that nothing will grow or live there for [ __ ] 150 years. So, in short, [ __ ], like, any kind of [ __ ],

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just being late, especially the stupidity of a courier when you're drunk, which was perceived as, well, like, oh, these [ __ ] stupid couriers , and now just, [ __ ], I'll kill you, you [ __ ] creature. Who hired you?

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I'm going to [ __ ] call now, [ __ ] [ __ ]. I don't know who I'm going to [ __ ] call. I'll call somewhere so they can [ __ ] you in the ass with a

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poker, [ __ ]. Well, in short, the people around me probably don't deserve this kind of treatment. But, [ __ ], again, I don't understand how ordinary people can control themselves, who, like, haven't been drinking for so many

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years. I mean, it's simple, and probably they learn to react calmly to it, but I'm just starting to get used to it, and I'm doing really badly. So here's some good advice for you. Don't make me [ __ ] nervous, and don't

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irritate me with your stupid [ __ ]. You'll just get banned now, [ __ ], and banned forever, and I'll regret it later, when I'm drunk, [ __ ], damn.

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It'll be [ __ ] impossible to unban me . That's the kind of [ __ ] it is. I started streaming a lot, like I was with Kolya Rosov and producer Ivanov this week. Today I was streaming, yesterday, or rather, I was streaming,

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well, it turns out that after midnight today I was already streaming Antonio Sapphire, who's a blast, he even played Dota, [ __ ] hell. I wish I hadn't played, [ __ ] hell. It's just like the good old days, we [ __ ] up. And

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tomorrow, Saturday, we'll have this stream with...Madison on the sleepers on VAZ. Well, I sort of compensate for what they spend at home with, so to speak, streams of some kind of communication, including with subscribers. Also, I finally decided,

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damn it, to take the advice about a hobby. I thought about it for a long time, so to speak. What have I always wanted to do, but was too lazy? I immediately dismissed all sorts of fucked-up options, like collecting

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stamps or playing sports. Well, that's understandable for the really [ __ ] obvious. So, I bought myself a Warhammer. I'll collect it little by little. I ordered a few more, so to speak, armies. I'm thinking of building some Salamanders and Zahas or some

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Defense, diluting the [ __ ] paint with something, buying some [ __ ] modeling there, [ __ ] trying. Well, something that's really expensive. I looked at what they wrote about the downsides of the hobby, it's really expensive. Not everyone can afford it.

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And I was like," [ __ ], I was sitting there saving up that [ __ ] money. " Exactly for this [ __ ]. Now I'm going to buy the most expensive paints, branded brushes, overpriced sets and sit there like a [ __ ] idiot with a

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brush, [ __ ] painting those [ __ ] chevrons on the Space Marines, [ __ ] painting." And I really liked this [ __ ]. I read there, like, in the rules, that a lot of us are like bums

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and they play with cardboard models or they use wine corks instead of soldiers , or they just have unpainted miniatures, and you have the right to say, like, "Remove all this [ __ ] from the table, like, I will play by

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the rules only, [ __ ], with painted branded miniatures." And the loser is like: "Well, I only have two branded soldiers. Here, [ __ ], play with two soldiers. Why the [ __ ] do I even care about you, [ __ ] loser, coming to a

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tournament? I will always follow this rule. You could say that's the only reason I do this hobby, to humiliate [ __ ] paupers. I'm kidding, of course . No, if you've watched Armat's streams , you know I'm pretty hardcore about

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Warhammer. If you look at the number of hours I've played Civilization, you'll understand that tactical strategy is no stranger to me. And in general, I like collecting all sorts of chubriks and figurines. I have quite a few of them.

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And the Space Marines are just cool. Just cool. But seriously, I won't let you play with me with plugs. Only painted, awesome models. Bra. What else ? What, am I talking about this, about all this [ __ ]? The most important

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thing, damn it, is work. I don't know, it's slowly getting done. So, I just sat down to record a video, right? Well , it seems like I'm getting less confused, [ __ ], I have to cut out fewer drunken repetitions. But forcing

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myself to work is just [ __ ] awful. I mean, it's just [ __ ] time now, what the [ __ ], 6:34 AM, like, that's too late even by my schedule to start working. I was just sitting there,

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[ __ ] procrastinating. I mean, when you're drunk, you can just [ __ ] sit there, [ __ ] drink. And you're watching some [ __ ], like, trending, like," [ __ ], camera, [ __ ], we're about

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to [ __ ] wreck it, I turned it all on , let's go. "Sober. You're sitting there, kind of apathetic, like," Well, I need to shoot a video, but I can do it later. "Like, [ __ ], I release videos

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every two days, but I could probably do it every three. I'm my own boss.

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There's no [ __ ] thrill. I mean, at work, at least—I don't know if there are such problems working as a miner or a taxi driver, but as a video blogger, you just sit and sometimes stare at the

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monitor. Even after you've watched all the crap, all the interviews with some jerks you've never [ __ ] heard of, all the [ __ ], you're just sitting there, like," Should I watch kamikazes?

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"and you turn it on, and you've already seen it all, and you're like," [ __ ], well, I guess I'll just work. "And still, for another 40 [ __ ] minutes, it's just like that. So, so, so. What

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am I filming? I mean, they told me I'm probably the only one who's unique in working drunk. I mean, even my colleagues, I mean, they say that if you have one too many drinks, it's all over, yeah, you can't even film the

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reaction. But I'm drunk and I work. Well, sometimes it turns out to be [ __ ], of course, like, [ __ ], when I'm really [ __ ], like in a stand-up routine where I read the same joke

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three times, and then I lost the pieces of paper and someone else read the rest of the jokes for me. Well, like, at least I work. I mean, it's not like I refuse to work or I'm too lazy. I'm

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definitely capable of working. The fact that my coordination and clarity of thought are worse, yeah, I don't give a [ __ ], but I want to work more when I'm drunk. That's a debatable thesis. But at least when I'm sober, I don't want

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anything at all except to drink. So, [ __ ] work doesn't come into it. Like , and when I'm drunk, I already wanted to drink, so I drank. Why not work, right? Like, so I have enough to drink

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for tomorrow. It's like that drunk adventurous spirit awakens, like, they figured out three of us, that. So, should I film a sketch or something, or a script, maybe we'll write some [ __ ] that I'll never film? Just cut

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it out, like you're sitting there, and you're just farting, like, why the [ __ ] do you need it? Well, then again, maybe it's just me, I won't tell anyone, and I can't even give myself any [ __ ]

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advice in this situation, because I still have to drink for who knows how long, and I need to work. And where the [ __ ] are you going without working? Go [ __ ] work. If you don't like it,

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[ __ ], don't work, there won't be any money, [ __ ], [ __ ]. That's the whole point. But forcing yourself is a little different. It's not the same as being passionate about something. Like, when you're passionate about something,

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that's cool, in my opinion. When you work just because you work, well, you work. What, what the hell are you even going to add? I think I've taken all the medication. Well, now I'm not taking what's absolutely necessary, but

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what I probably should have been taking for years, but it all didn't go well with alcohol, so I never got around to it. So either the pills will [ __ ] kill me, or they'll make me, well, like

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, at least the healthiest version of myself in all these years. Basically, I have no complaints, probably, except that it hits me sometimes. Like, I said apathy. The most accurate would be apathy with these sort of flashes of,

Speaker A

[ __ ], [ __ ]. Like, you're just sitting there, kind of used to it, and then they hit you, like, [ __ ], hey, text Grisha right now that you brought a case of wine and sit there drinking.

Speaker A

And then it's like," What, what, what? Go away, go away. "Or you're like," [ __ ], they sell beer at the [ __ ] store near your house. There's a whole fridge full of beer. They know you.

Speaker A

They'll sell it after eleven. Run the [ __ ] away, run. The schoolchildren are all sitting at home, no one will take pictures with you. Get as much beer as you want. "Like in the old days. And you sit and drink, don't film anything,

Speaker A

just drink, drink, drink. Like, [ __ ], you've already filmed a video, [ __ ] post it, you'll post another GTRP, [ __ ], sit and drink, and you're like ," What the [ __ ] is this? Where does it

Speaker A

come from? Where the [ __ ] is it coming from? "Just like those old-fashioned [ __ ], or like, just, you know, like," But the doctor said,' Can I have vodka?

Speaker A

Vodka is the purest. '"Take some vodka. " Drink a shot of vodka. And put it in the refrigerator to cool it down. And have another shot. And order yourself some appetizers to go with it. Hey, you always, when you ordered, looked at the

Speaker A

table of cold appetizers, and you're like: "What [ __ ] [ __ ] would order a hundred?""And you're like,' Order, order a table of cold appetizers and vodka. 'There. You're just trying to do something like that to yourself. Well,

Speaker A

who the [ __ ] knows. If anyone has any advice on how to deal with this, I think advice from some [ __ ] former heroin addicts or something like that would help me, because I'm not entirely sure that ordinary people without

Speaker A

serious addictions will understand me. You probably think I developed schizophrenia because of this. Well, in reality, these kind of attacks, like attacks, like [ __ ], and it seems to pass, but you're still there. Not panic attacks, not anything like that, but

Speaker A

just like this [ __ ] voice in your head starts talking, and you're like,' Are you [ __ ] nuts? Whose voice am I usually in my head? Who the [ __ ] am I talking about? 'Like what we say:"

Speaker A

Where the [ __ ] did you come from, you [ __ ] devil? "Well, maybe schizophrenia, actually, I admit it.

Speaker A

Write in the comments: schizophrenia or not. I'm often diagnosed with, uh, schizophrenia, also called a hysterical psychopath. Uh, I also have a lot of diagnoses from people who diagnose online, which speaks volumes about their qualifications. I suggest you

Speaker A

give me one too. And that's probably all for today. Support me if you want to support me. The best support would be a like, a subscription, well, you can also subscribe to the Telegram channel, Twitter, Twitter, everything, [ __ ] everything. Don't forget that

Speaker A

the game Longlili LIF Caesar is coming out soon. Add it to your wishlist too, don't forget to buy it as soon as it comes out. Well, that's probably all.

Speaker A

See you on the waves of sobriety, [ __ ]. Where the [ __ ] am I supposed to go from this [ __ ] submarine? Good luck to you. M.

Topics:Yuri Khovanskysobrietyalcoholismhealthphysical painrecoveryfitnessaddictionmental healthpersonal story

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