[BadComedian] - Полицейский с рублёвки (НОВОГОДНИЙ БЕСПРЕДЕЛ - новые Ёлки)

A critical review of the Russian New Year's film 'Policeman from Rublyovka,' highlighting its humor, plot, and production issues.

Key Takeaways

The film relies heavily on crude and painful humor that may not appeal to all audiences.
Production limitations and a weak plot detract from the film's overall quality.
Character development and storytelling are insufficient for a full-length feature.
Despite criticism, the film's popularity indicates a market for such New Year's themed comedies.
Future sequels might improve with increased funding and better creative efforts.

What the video covers

The video reviews the Russian New Year's film 'Policeman from Rublyovka: New Year's Mayhem 2,' a popular series turned full-length movie.
The reviewer has not watched the series but critiques the film's humor, which relies heavily on senseless pain and crude jokes.
The film's plot is described as weak and forgettable, with many scenes dragging on and a low budget limiting the setting.
The reviewer notes the absence of proper character introductions and the poor quality of humor compared to other Russian comedies.
There is criticism of the film's reliance on crude sexual jokes and a repetitive theme of male desire for a female character named Kristina.
The acting and presentation are compared unfavorably to classic films like 'Home Alone,' emphasizing a lack of emotional engagement.
The reviewer highlights the film's tolerance for bullying and violence as part of its comedic style, which they find problematic.
Despite the film's flaws, it has good ratings and box office success, suggesting a potential for improved sequels with bigger budgets.
The video includes timestamped excerpts illustrating key points of criticism, such as poor jokes, weak plot devices, and awkward scenes.
Overall, the review condemns the film's humor and production quality while acknowledging its popularity and potential for growth.

Chapters

What is the main criticism of the film 'Policeman from Rublyovka' in this review?

The main criticism is that the film relies on crude, painful humor, has a weak plot, poor character development, and low production quality.

Does the reviewer recommend watching 'Policeman from Rublyovka'?

The reviewer does not recommend the film for its humor or quality but acknowledges its popularity and potential for improvement in sequels.

How does the film compare to other Russian New Year's movies according to the review?

The film is seen as inferior to other New Year's movies, especially the Christmas tree franchise, due to its poor humor and limited budget.

Full Transcript — Download SRT & Markdown

Speaker A

[music] Every New Year, I watch a festive Russian film. But this year is supposed to be special because the Christmas tree franchise has died. And I can't wait to find out what Santa Claus has in store for me this time. [music] I'd rather have someone take a [ __ ] under my tree. Policeman from Rublyovka. New Year's Mayhem 2.

Speaker A

Not that kind of mayhem. Policeman from Rublyovka is a mega-popular series that has delighted viewers for several seasons. The series itself has quite good ratings, and I refer to them because I have not seen a single episode. But I watched the full-length project. It had a pretty good exhibition, which introduced me to the characters of Burunov and Petrov.

Speaker A

Smiles, scum. What are you writing, you bastard? In my opinion, the tandem was successful: a major-domo, an impudent guy, and a bombastic boss. Yes, jokes are for an amateur. Many scenes simply drag out the running time, but nevertheless, the film had some kind of plot and charismatic characters. Yes, the film will be forgotten faster than the promise of the 2020 strategy, but when there is no fish, even a policeman from Rublyovka is better than a Christmas tree. Another downside is the intimacy of the setting;

Speaker A

apparently, the budget wasn’t particularly big. Perhaps the authors were afraid of not being able to assemble it, or were afraid of those same competitors in the form of Christmas trees. But the box office showed that audiences were willing to pay, which means the sequel's funding, scale, and efforts will increase, a New Year's miracle will happen, and it will be a proper holiday film.

Speaker A

Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells [ __ ], excluding the cheap footage that is inserted with cutting. The film begins quite successfully with a reference to Petrov, who left the project. It's as if aliens landed Baruch and enslaved us all. And who was that guy in the main role? Well, you know Rus. And that was the last joke of the film. Now the viewer will see the suffering of men in the army.

Speaker A

Where did you get the pepper spray? From under the pillow. This is a terrible thing.

Speaker A

About 70% of the humor of the policeman from Rublyovka is built on senseless pain.

Speaker A

Everyone likes to see others suffer. Hey, you just justified the existence of Russian cinema. Moreover, the authors forget that they are making a full-length film and decide not to introduce us to the main characters. Or maybe they wanted to free up some time for jokes? Vera and I dressed up as a bun and a sausage and played hot dog.

Speaker A

Mukhich wanted to keep the level of jokes the same, and maybe even increase it, in order to come up with something new.

Speaker A

[applause] Oh, that's a different channel. Although the overall level of humor is shitty. The only funny thing is that the characters are essentially retelling a sketch from that shitty movie with Bezrukov.

Speaker A

How low do you have to stoop to retell a skit from Gentlemen of Fortune 2? The joker's name is Mukhich, and apparently, he's supposed to fill the void left by Petrov's departure.

Speaker A

Also serving in the police department on Rublevka is a former prostitute named Kristina. Eh, apparently she operates on the principle: if you can’t win, lead.

Speaker A

What do you want to talk about? About what happened this morning. The whole department already knows.

Speaker A

Everything is fine, I have already anointed it. And about what? Yes, a small hemorrhoid popped out there with peas.

Speaker A

Watch a holiday movie, they said. New Year's mood, they said. How the hell is this joke supposed to work, according to the authors, if Christina couldn't even theoretically know about his hemorrhoids? You might as well say any nonsense in the hope that the nonsense itself will cause laughter. TNT makes witty comedies. Kristina says that Volodya was promoted.

Speaker A

Volodya becomes paralyzed from surprise, and this gag takes up 6 seconds of screen time.

Speaker A

So young. It's not funny. Well, I guess there just wasn't enough time to unravel the joke.

Speaker A

Mukhich tries to revive Ge with a defibrillator, but only euthanasia can help. Lord, it's burning. Be careful with your knee. What are you doing? First I gave him a low kick, then a punch straight to the liver and then a double kick there. One, two, and toe-to-toe, catch up. Syusha. Want to know what's funny about this? The fact that a complaint about assault against the police chief will not be accepted.

Speaker A

I miraculously survived. Well, I'm a wizard. Abrakada, does it hurt? Yes. Yeah. I can ask for more.

Speaker A

No need, no need. Have you finished school and served in the army a long time ago? There are no people left around you that you can humiliate and bully with impunity.

Speaker A

Go see the policeman from Rublyovka. You will receive slaps on the back of the head and punches in the stomach. In response to any dissatisfaction, they are tolerant. It just begs to be punched.

Speaker A

Volodya plans to celebrate the New Year and his promotion in a separate house. Volodya's wife is worried about this because a former prostitute will be at the party. And it would be good if my husband didn’t cheat.

Speaker A

This is what he asked me to wear at night. This form. You are perverts.

Speaker A

The form actually belongs to Christina. This is ironclad proof that Volodya wants her. And he asked to add a dress inside.

Speaker A

Such a joke. He [ __ ] his wife, but her tits aren't very big, so he asks her to put oranges in her pocket.

Speaker A

You are accepted. Feel it. Seriously? Oranges instead of breasts. Thanks, [ __ ], that at least it wasn't a cheese plate instead of an ass. In general, the whole film is built on the concept of the desire to [ __ ] one woman.

Speaker A

The police are arguing about Christina. Whoever hooks up with her first wins. Neither the married nature nor the wretchedness of the plot puts me off.

Speaker A

I know. Some kind of hiccups. Well, maybe someone remembers me. From the former. Well, you understand how he remembers.

Speaker A

Oh, these are the last jokes. This girl's name is Rybkina, and she is the most combative cop in the Rublevka department. And there remains one last character whom I have not introduced. And his name is Bad Sense of Humor. Who will be managing the department these days? And who is Gudkova? You stay here and manage the department.

Speaker A

[music] Eating a sandwich with a stupid expression on your face. Naturally, Volodya sends his wives in another car so that he can harass Kristina discreetly.

Speaker A

Madam, I will lie down like a little kitten and purr tenderly. If he takes out his dick, you can distract him with a laser pointer.

Speaker A

Well, then the humor begins in the style of the comedy Irreversibility. After all, everyone wants Christina.

Speaker A

Hairy men are more passionate lovers. No, they are lethargic. And after 0, they are generally bald and no better than hairy ones. I read a scientific article.

Speaker A

Prove it. Dostavainis. [applause] They told me: "Are you going to dive into the snow yourself or does the stunt double need to?" I say: "I myself." Ah, well this is just [ __ ] awesome.

Speaker A

It's obvious that this scene is from Amash's film Home Alone, in which we watched without a twinge of conscience the torment, but the torment, of notorious bandits who wanted to rob a child for Christmas.

Speaker A

Well, here there is disobedience to a lawful order of a police officer. Show Bava's dick while his wife isn't looking.

Speaker A

Naturally, there is a huge difference in presentation. Besides the fact that, technically, the scene from Rublyovka looks like such a talentless joke that comparing it to the old Home Alone is like comparing 2020 to any year before it. But the most important thing is that acting evokes completely different emotions. [applause] If you think that the heartfelt cries of pain of an innocent person are funny, then when can we expect a policeman from Rublyovka?

Speaker A

Mission Kazan. What's wrong with you people? Good for you. Stop, stop, stop, stop. Volo, it's not funny.

Speaker A

This just makes me smile. If he had hit her and then continued to take off his pants, it would have been a comedy for all times.

Speaker A

Adam, there is no reason to worry. My nipple will be hidden by elegant panties.

Speaker A

Sostropoly. B, by the

Speaker A

Hairy men are more passionate lovers. No, they are lethargic. And after 0, they are generally bald and no better than hairy ones. I read a scientific article.

Speaker A

Prove it. Dostavainis. [applause] They told me: "Are you going to dive into the snow yourself or does the stunt double need to?" I say: "I myself." Ah, well this is just [ __ ] awesome.

Speaker A

It's obvious that this scene is from Amash's film Home Alone, in which we watched without a twinge of conscience the torment, but the torment, of notorious bandits who wanted to rob a child for Christmas.

Speaker A

Well, here there is disobedience to a lawful order of a police officer. Show Bava's dick while his wife isn't looking.

Speaker A

Naturally, there is a huge difference in presentation. Besides the fact that, technically, the scene from Rublyovka looks like such a talentless joke that comparing it to the old Home Alone is like comparing 2020 to any year before it. But the most important thing is that acting

Speaker A

evokes completely different emotions. [applause] If you think that the heartfelt cries of pain of an innocent person are funny, then when can we expect a policeman from Rublyovka?

Speaker A

Mission Kazan. What's wrong with you people? Good for you. Stop, stop, stop, stop. Volo, it's not funny.

Speaker A

This just makes me smile. If he had hit her and then continued to take off his pants, it would have been a comedy for all times.

Speaker A

Adam, there is no reason to worry. My nipple will be hidden by elegant panties.

Speaker A

Sostropoly. B, by the way, do you know what's funnier? Rape. Double rape. Your tutzer is the last thing I want to see on New Year's Eve. Volodya, mine is mine .

Speaker A

Break the fourth wall. Even if the cameraman and director make some offers, mass GNG-BNG won't happen. And not because he is walking with the viewer at that moment , but because the driver cannot find the way.

Speaker A

Why didn't you give me the coordinates as a colleague? Because we are going to another house, let's say that the car is stuck. We got lost with a scooter, we'll get back to our place in peace.

Speaker A

Why? What do you think I should do all this in front of my wife?

Speaker A

According to the script, wouldn't the wife be busy having sex with someone else at this time ? Meanwhile, Volodya's boss brings a dossier on the criminals and reports: "Similar people have been seen in the vicinity of Barvikha. Maybe a false alarm? Or maybe a

Speaker A

slippery road? It's as if we're being asked to laugh at the screenwriter's mental development. There's nothing funny here. The man needs help. Perhaps even electricity. The dossier is sent to all the operatives.

Speaker A

But the dossier doesn't reach the house where the heroes' wives are staying, because there are jammers there, which Volodya prudently installed so that he could have sex in peace on the side. Dear friends, as they say, New Year's is a family holiday, until you

Speaker A

bet on a prostitute. Naturally, it's the wives that the jewelry robbers come to. The cops arrive at a house that doesn't really resemble the one that was filmed. And the assumptions begin: "This is the house of a black operative."

Speaker A

Yes, important. Another mash, this time to DMB. And how talented is the original? I'm black Dembel, your mother.

Speaker A

Such a talentless reference, in which funny sounds are supposed to amuse the audience. If the opera gets too greedy, the house takes its soul. It's scary that we are 15 years old, or what, flies, what?

Speaker A

My God, it's him. Black Oberto got into humor, into effects and into acting. What is this, a plot with a story?

Speaker A

The heroes enter the house, and while it's dark, they can continue the harassment. Oh enough.

Speaker A

So, who pinched my ass? Damn, it's not so funny anymore. I grabbed a spoiler from the news .

Speaker A

In Ufa, three former police officers were sentenced in a high-profile case of gang rape of their own colleague.

Speaker A

So, who pinched my ass? The brownie. It was the brownie. Who pinched her? Well, of course, me. Vladimir, what?

Speaker A

Well, how does it feel? Sochnik. Describe it in more detail, he'll jerk off in the meantime .

Speaker A

My God, you're 30-40 years old. What Ahead, what's behind. Cancer, dirt, emptiness and nothing sacred. Remember, [ __ ], come to your senses before it's too late. The heroes start drinking and take turns harassing Kristina.

Speaker A

Meanwhile, in the second house, Mukhich's wife decides to keep up with her husband. He's tall here, reminds me of my high school crush. What? I want to knock him up, but I have little control over myself.

Speaker A

High school crush is my sore spot. And what about Igor? Natasha, I'm already drunk.

Speaker A

Pour her some more, and she'll agree to play the role of the policeman from Rublyovka three.

Speaker A

What a noisy prostitute. By the way, the actress also had questions, because in the first film her character was completely different.

Speaker A

What is this? Why did she start whoring? Who? Lera. No, she just drank. Okay, if she drank, it doesn't count. Yeah. A similar chat of revelry continues in the house with the unfaithful cops.

Speaker A

Madam, let me suck you off. I'll give you a blow job now. Possible The sucking is interrupted by Rybkina, who went to get a Christmas tree and escaped the effect of the jammer. She reports on robbers and wives who need to be

Speaker A

rescued urgently. I want to defend the faith. You can't even walk, deer. Have you forgotten how I prescribed you bows? And torment mockery humiliation.

Speaker A

I think I can guess who's donating to trash streams. It's much more scary to watch TV with the whole family on New Year's. There you see drug addicts mixed with sodomites singing songs in July under paper snow.

Speaker A

Or maybe they're making a New Year's movie that's filmed in August with a sheet instead of snow.

Speaker A

Share some ammo. How can I share? I have a Glock. What's so interesting about your non-regulation weapon? Do you even have a golden gun? Yes, we are golden, I am a patriot of our country.

Speaker A

Is this a good joke? Find this screenwriter. Find all the works of this screenwriter. Turn them upside down.

Speaker A

But delete, delete all the funny moments. The heroes enter the house, but the bandits are not there. They, along with the hostages, went to Mukhich and Kristina, who suspect nothing.

Speaker A

Well, we need to warm up, and even better, hug and warm each other with the warmth of our bodies, preferably naked. I know the reaction you want to get from me. Beat her.

Speaker A

Satisfied. People ask, what can the whole family really do? Yes, of course you can. What are you afraid of? Everything there is fine and funny. And the children will laugh, and you will laugh, and watch it three more

Speaker A

times. Lobotomy. Tori miracles. Golubkov must be warned urgently. Turn off your jammer. [music] Why the hell is there a Terminator impersonation here, although there is no connection, you ask. It's simple. The policeman from Rublyovka wants to at least be a parody of a normal

Speaker A

movie. Well, do you have a signal? I think so. My ex He wrote on VKontakte: "Dimon, you're a loser. Here's a picture of my twins." Well, your exes already have two kids.

Speaker A

Twins - that's it. They call the couple and say that the bandits are approaching, which means they need to get the house ready.

Speaker A

[music] Sorry, who's crazy? These lovers of references. Thank you. Stay here with the women, and we'll check the house and kill everyone we find.

Speaker A

Can he please stay with you? Fermi is very cute. Well, yeah, otherwise it will be awkward if the new [ __ ] becomes the cause of the death of the old [ __ ]. The film you are about to

Speaker A

see is the story of one of the most mysterious crimes of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre .

Speaker A

[music] Yeah, damn, how do you enlarge it in this program ? The drawn bottles are much smaller than the launched ones. Ha, I'll say that the main thing in the scene is the actor.

Speaker A

The most important thing is, of course, the actor, because believability in the frame should be created not only through some visual elements, but also by the actor's performance. The fact that they couldn't draw the bottles hitting where the actor is looking. This is just

Speaker A

[ __ ] insane. And the scene itself is absolutely not funny, but I know what to do. Insert dolphin wobbler.

Speaker A

Ugh. They pulled the scene. Meanwhile, it turns out that the married hostage was attracted to the bandit for a reason . He really is her classmate.

Speaker A

What am I, Bilkin? I'll have to kill you. You've gone crazy, Belkin. I've actually loved you for 20 years.

Speaker A

What are you doing, Ershova? Why did n't you let me cheat on my algebra exam that time?

Speaker A

[music] Reinforcements burst into the house and immediately finish off one of the bandits. But the second one escapes.

Speaker A

Come on, let's get out, or the princess will be finished. Alice, imagine him. Violence is bad.

Speaker A

What about the Kinopoisk redesign or Yandex-phone? Alice, turn off the light. Just a sec.

Speaker A

My God, I can't see the trigger pistol. What to do? Asa, turn on the light.

Speaker A

One moment. And the winners' music. I'm turning it on. [ __ ] you, trash. I'm the drum and bass producer.

Speaker A

Another bandit was waiting for the heroes on the street, but the Black Opera comes to the rescue. And Ducalis's cameo is probably the only good thing in the film. Otherwise, it's all just fairy tales.

Speaker A

Okay, let's somehow celebrate the New Year . No, it's just that ever since the days of Charlie Chaplin and Buster Keaton, we've been laughing at the idea of a cake flying into someone's face.

Speaker A

Any intelligent person, no matter how intelligent, when someone falls next to them, well, as if prompted, involuntarily starts laughing. By the way, have you seen the arrival of the Lumiere train ? I [ __ ] myself hard.

Speaker A

And by the way, isn't the main character with Charlie Chaplin based on deceiving expectations? Mention Buster Keaton, guys.

Speaker A

For Keaton had only one way to convince the audience that what they were seeing was real. It had to be real.

Speaker A

And your shadow from the tree on the wall doesn't even move. It just dissolves.

Speaker A

It's the cheapest effect. No, well, you can understand us. We don't give a [ __ ]. But we're like Buster Keaton.

Speaker A

It turns out that the bandits hid the diamonds in the ice. And the heroes remember: "The ice ate it all." Well, leave it to the people.

Speaker A

We know where the diamonds are. In Europe. The diamonds are not in Europe, but in my beautiful country.

Speaker A

When you feel good and you watch how shitty someone else is, damn, and then it's so cool right away.

Speaker A

No, that's not normal. You sound like a sadistic maniac. It was hard. Not with everyone. With some it's easy, with some it's harder, especially this big one. It was really hard. It's weird that they didn't take a [ __ ] directly on camera and

Speaker A

show it to us. Although, wait, does the film itself count? After all, the film itself There's an act of godless defication under the New Year's tree for everyone.

Speaker A

Every New Year's is the same. Almost a complete lack of humor, senseless violence, and extreme sperm toxicity . An impossible task - to make it 12+. Will you manage to keep yourself within the confines of this family film?

Speaker A

Ilya had to stop himself. Did you even stop yourself? Good God. And if the first film had several plots and confrontations, then without the antagonist Burunov, the running time had to be filled with whatever came to hand, including the

Speaker A

classic grab-and-run patsantra from popular films, and then we'll say it 's a simpleton. As for the main concept, I'd say nothing at all about the main character .

Speaker A

And a very interesting plot, actually. The writers know how to joke. Why are n't these jokes in the film? But if they're gobbling it up, then there's no need to bother. If a film does well at the box office, then

Speaker A

when making a sequel, you can skimp on everything so that the film looks worse than a YouTube project. That way, it will be possible. Make even more money. The creators frankly don't care about their creation, and even the actors' charisma can't

Speaker A

save it. Besides, there's no competition in the form of Christmas trees at the box office, which means if you want to watch a New Year's movie, either come to us or go to hell.

Speaker A

Speaking of the Christmas trees they made fun of in the first film, stop watching those [ __ ] Christmas trees. You'll turn into idiots.

Speaker A

It took six years to achieve this level of degradation. You only needed a year, and your degradation is far worse.

Speaker A

New holiday movies are continuations on TNT. ATNT is filled with sadistic tit-farting humor. When the New Year's premiere schedule is full, all the crap will boil over and there will be no choice.

Speaker A

Moviegoers will look at me and resume watching. Save us, and I will whisper: "No, people need to laugh more." I think we should enter 2020 with laughter and joy. And if we're on the same wave as this policeman, and we

Speaker A

greet him and spend it the same way, everything will be awesome for everyone. It was like a dream come true. We spent 2020 on the wave of this film. Only the orange boobs turned out to be tasteless and odorless. And I hope that the year will pass

Speaker A

along with such films. And in the new year, filmmakers will try at least a little harder. And to you, friends, happy holidays. All the best.

Speaker A

[music]

Topics:Policeman from RublyovkaRussian comedyNew Year's filmfilm reviewRussian cinemabad humorfilm critiqueNew Year's Mayhem 2Russian movie analysisBadComedian

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