The Best Of Sister Michael | Derry Girls

A humorous and chaotic episode of Derry Girls featuring Sister Michael navigating school drama, exam results, and unexpected events.

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Key Takeaways

Sister Michael is a central comedic figure managing school chaos.
The students are anxious about exam results but maintain a humorous outlook.
School incidents add to the episode's tension and comedy.
Character relationships and local cultural references enrich the narrative.
The episode highlights the blend of humor and real-life challenges in school.

What the video covers

Sister Michael deals with nervous students awaiting exam results and tries to keep order amid chaos.
The episode features comedic interactions between Sister Michael, the girls, and other school staff.
There are references to school incidents including a mysterious event in the computer lab.
Sister Michael faces challenges with the departure of Sister Patrick and the arrival of a new teacher.
The transcript includes humorous banter about school life, exams, and personal dynamics.
Themes of nervousness, school authority, and teenage rebellion are explored.
The episode balances comedy with moments of tension related to school and personal issues.
There are references to local culture and the British Empire, adding context to the setting.
The transcript captures the distinctive humor and character dynamics of the Derry Girls series.
The episode ends on a note of relief and celebration after exam results are revealed.

Chapters

Who is Sister Michael in this episode?

Sister Michael is a key comedic character who manages the school chaos, interacts with students, and deals with various incidents throughout the episode.

What is the main focus of this Derry Girls episode?

The episode centers around the students' nervousness about their exam results, school incidents, and the humorous interactions between Sister Michael and the students.

Are there any serious themes in this episode?

Yes, while primarily comedic, the episode touches on themes like anxiety over exam results, school authority challenges, and the harsher realities behind the humor.

Full Transcript — Download SRT & Markdown

Speaker A

Ladies, what happened, sister? This is nothing. You should see the other guy, right? We wanted dur of aook. Yeah, I didn't ask. Trying to take our minds off tomorrow. Why are you still talking to me? The results, you know. Stop it. I suppose in many ways you're as nervous as we are.

Speaker A

you're as nervous as we are well no because the school actually receives them the day before you do and also I don't care F sister it's yourself I've left the new score C he over for you he have the results already you know how we

Speaker A

Well, no, because the school actually receives them the day before you do. And also, I don't care. F sister, it's yourself. I've left the new score C. He over for you. He have the results already? You know how we did. Just try to enjoy what time you've left.

Speaker A

separate I think we should keep them in cages not a priest quite Young Southern B of an arold but oh my God amazing hair for f [Music] sake okay so I see a few familiar faces out there as some of you may know I took

Speaker A

[Music] Girls, kill me. Michael, sister, Michael, it's a pleasure. I know, move it, shift it. Why is everyone so desperate for them to make? I think we should keep them separate. I think we should keep them in cages, not a priest. Quite young Southern B of an arold, but oh my God, amazing hair for f.

Speaker A

move on the hairdresser certainly did is there anything that we all want for this to be over and we'll wrap it up there she's coming hey the woman the small angry pengu woman s Michael [Music] [ __ ] oh good evening sister we just

Speaker A

[Music] Sake. Okay, so I see a few familiar faces out there. As some of you may know, I took a bit of a sabbatical last year. Do you mean when she acted up with a slaughter hairdresser? But then she don't, she miss Malon. Please raise your hand if you want to ask a question.

Speaker A

Jenny but you will not be well-liked honestly girls I need my eight hours but I've had Mary Quinn on the phone frying my head and now this what my mother rang why is everything okay she was very distressed she wanted me to pass on a

Speaker A

Okay, I think we should just move on. The hairdresser certainly did. Is there anything that we all want for this to be over? And we'll wrap it up there. She's coming. Hey, the woman, the small angry pengu woman, s Michael.

Speaker A

y anything nice planned nope okay I just don't see the point can't we just move on all right Connor is you never satisfied me sexually oh please no uh sadly sister Patrick has decided to leave us she's returning to her

Speaker A

[Music] [ __ ] Oh, good evening, sister. We just popped R because we had a few questions about the British Empire, which the boys have cleared off for us. No, so they weren't talking about the British Empire, sister. They were having a party. I could hear the music. You will go far in life, Jenny, but you will not be well-liked.

Speaker A

there I believe you've been expecting me here we go take a seat please ladies where's Mr Brin gone and she's not coming back what I knew it when I woke up this morning I had a feeling something terrible was going to happen

Speaker A

Honestly, girls, I need my eight hours, but I've had Mary Quinn on the phone frying my head, and now this. What? My mother rang? Why? Is everything okay? She was very distressed. She wanted me to pass on a message. And are you going fine? Should we break it up? Don't T, don't T. Let's leave it a.

Speaker A

but neither must this was you wasn't it what did you do what did you say I don't know what you're talking about I so you don't zipper grass that's quite enough you don't understand sister Mr Brun she touched us what she made us think she

Speaker A

[Music] Minute. Here we go, s Michael. Hi, Claire. I wasn't sure you saw me. No, no, I did. Right? Hadn't it Port Rush? Anything nice planned? Nope. Okay, I just don't see the point. Can't we just move on?

Speaker A

you reain it in in and take a seat Jesus girls what are you still doing here I thought we had an intruder and I'll tell you what you'd have been a sorry boy for I just nailed some serious

Speaker A

All right, Connor, is you never satisfied me sexually? Oh, please, no. Uh, sadly, sister, Patrick has decided to leave us. She's returning to her missionary work educating the heathen inhabitants of a primitive and savage place. She's taking a teaching post in Bast.

Speaker A

now looking down on the world thinking the floods and the famine can wait for there is a child in Derry who who needs me to magically alter the contents of an envelope well that's very good sister Michael it's very funny a going be such

Speaker A

Sister, precisely. The Board of Governors promised me that her replacement would arrive today, but as usual, they were talking. So there. I believe you've been expecting me. Here we go. Take a seat, please, ladies. Where's Mr. Brin gone? And she's not coming back? What? I knew it.

Speaker A

let me say that I can't be right hi oh have you got the same results of me that can't be right Christ you don't think there's been some sort of a mixup do you Ora just does really well at

Speaker A

When I woke up this morning, I had a feeling something terrible was going to happen. And also that essentially, de, I'm quite an evil person. It's called a hangover. Clear, you'll be gr. I will be taking this class for the rest of the term, which makes me want to pull off my own face.

Speaker A

hello there there was a bit of an incident last out in the school have you seen this before sister no [ __ ] we just found it in the computer lab going to spin through the footage now [ __ ] a D day I want to sit here what

Speaker A

But neither must this was you, wasn't it? What did you do? What did you say? I don't know what you're talking about. I so you don't zipper grass. That's quite enough. You don't understand, sister. Mr. Brun, she touched us. What? She made us think. She made us feel.

Speaker A

March Christ but this is heavy sister no let me what you have in your girls it's not ours not yours we have never seen it before in our lives have we girls never excuse me everyone can I have your

Speaker A

Oh, thank God. That would be all I need. You can't sacker. You just can't. Miss Quinn, you appear to be under the misapprehension that you can address me as though you are my equal. I suggest you rein it in and take a seat.

Speaker A

missionary missionary you know my friend rosing she told me her and Marty Collins get up to all sorts she ties them up and everything I'd love to do that no Connor not tie you up no I mean I'd love to tie

Speaker A

Jesus, girls, what are you still doing here? I thought we had an intruder. And I'll tell you what, you'd have been a sorry boy for. I just nailed some serious moves. We were just working on our English project. Sister, step aside.

Speaker A

what you're going to say to me you're going to say it's none of my business but what cowboy is responsible for this sound proofing it's atrocious you need to speak to the lad who did our confessionals they're great

Speaker A

What in God's name have you done? Christ, it could not get any worse. I stand corrected. Should we say a prayer first? Maybe. Yeah, I'd say our Lord is up there now looking down on the world thinking the floods and the famine can wait, for there is a child in Derry who needs me to magically alter the contents of an envelope.

Speaker A

you girls we won't forget that performance in a hurry no matter how hard we try now amidst the mert it's easy to forget there is a serious and rather depressing side to children in need mainly the fact that Father Peter

Speaker A

Well, that's very good, sister Michael. It's very funny. A going be such a el Geraldine. Oh, just get on with it, please. Oh my God, I passed the Mas. Me too. Me three. Hi, by the skinnier teeth. Michelle, days three days.

Speaker A

stars in the eyes evening on Friday and tonight Matthew I'm going to be nowhere near that [ __ ] fantastic way to round off this week of complete madness don't know whose idea it was but it was genius

Speaker A

Oh my God, snap. Look, honey, four P three SE in a day. What? Let me say that. I can't be right. Hi. Oh, have you got the same results as me? That can't be right. Christ, you don't think there's been some sort of a mix-up, do you?

Speaker A

that ends well as they say at one point it looked like you were going to cry I think you've may be slightly misremembered there and we've got a pretty exciting first prize lined up the winner will get a chance to drum roll

Speaker A

Ora just does really well at exams despite the fact she obviously, you know, is subnormal. A thank you, sister. You said we failed. I didn't say you failed. I implied you failed. Why bit of a slow day? We passed. We did it. We did it. We did it.

Speaker A

witnessed is a piece of fiction the reality I'm sorry to say is much harsher far more brutal so let me take this opportunity to advise all our new girls to keep their guard up watch their back oh speaking of pupils who need to watch

Speaker A

Oh, hello there. There was a bit of an incident last out in the school. Have you seen this before, sister? No. [ __ ] We just found it in the computer lab. Going to spin through the footage now. [ __ ] A D day. I want to sit here. What?

Speaker A

concerns for his safety because well unfortunately James happens to be English yes okay I was there I had met that but I didn't do anything it was Michelle it was all Michelle I'm not going down for something I didn't do if

Speaker A

What? Why? Well, you're just such wonderful company, girls, what with your stimulating conversation and razor-sharp wit. Really? No, not really. The woman next to me is eating an egg and onion sandwich, and the smell of it is enough to turn an orange.

Speaker A

fronted are the IRA famous for their swordsmanship hit hit fear fear p p death death there's death an option stop please do this isn't the way we shouldn't be enemies we should be neighbors friends lovers b b projectile

Speaker A

March. Christ, but this is heavy, sister. No, let me. What do you have in your girls? It's not ours. Not yours. We have never seen it before in our lives, have we, girls? Never. Excuse me, everyone. Can I have your attention, please? Does anyone own this red suitcase?

Speaker A

girls quite an important an one as Jenny's awful Play Just alluded to a referendum is about to take place the outcome of which could change the course of history to those of you who have already turned 18 I strongly urge you to

Speaker A

No. Now let me be clear. No one can claim this bag. Is that correct? I think we have a cold red in our hands. Driver, pull over. Adventurous. You know, it's just all missionary, missionary, missionary. You know, my friend Rosing, she told me her and Marty Collins get up to all sorts.

Speaker A

workload or the uniform or the fact that you have to occasionally do my ironing our lady Immaculate is not a democracy it is a dictatorship my house my rules is that [Music] understood did I not ban this one let me

Speaker A

She ties them up and everything. I'd love to do that. No, Connor, not tie you up. No, I mean, I'd love to tie Marty col. He's so H. Next dream from platform 2 will be the 9:40 service from London Derry to Port Rush. I think have the platform. Good idea.

Speaker A

lovely stuff and today we welcome some very special guests the WS from Chernobyl who've come over to give their we lungs a bit of a clear out because a sure there's all sorts wating about in their neck of the woods sister lovely job so

Speaker A

Charge. Excuse me, madam. Yeah, I must tell you I am shocked. Now, I know what you're going to say to me. You're going to say it's none of my business, but what cowboy is responsible for this soundproofing? It's atrocious. You need to speak to the lad who did our confessionals. They're great.

Speaker A

why I'm ringing you so we've had an alleged Apparition here this morning well it's in the Weeping statue category sure I know yeah apparently there was a smirk as well I mean I'm not sure what our lady of the SARS has to be smarking about but

Speaker A

There are fellas telling Father Peter where they stashed the murder weapon, and the congregation's none the wiser. I'll drop his number into. [Music] You. Oh God, please no. Feeling hot, hot. Feeling hot, hot. No, no, no, no. Thank you, girls.

Speaker A

talk to this pra there is something I think you all need to know come in [Music] Father [ __ ] me I like your shiny hair so do I I really like your shiny hair what are you saying Aaron nothing ignore

Speaker A

We won't forget that performance in a hurry, no matter how hard we try. Now, amidst the mert, it's easy to forget there is a serious and rather depressing side to Children in Need, mainly the fact that Father Peter has decided to come and talk to us about it.

Speaker A

she stole my lipstick mommy don't lie sister deam was a woman of God actually she was known to be a bit light fingered oh kill a nun's n is it didn't daddy you wait until your mother hears about this

Speaker A

Father, holy Christ, that pigtail is going to break my breakfast up. Great stuff. Thank you, sister. Firstly, well done on the almighty effort so far. We'll be announcing the grand total raised at our Stars in Their Eyes evening on Friday, and tonight, Matthew, I'm going to be nowhere near that.

Speaker A

how so for place no bother at all once you've bought the tickets you've donated to the charity you don't actually have to stitch through this R our girls are performing and where would like to see them sister Michael you're needed

Speaker A

[ __ ] Fantastic way to round off this week of complete madness. Don't know whose idea it was, but it was genius. It was your idea. I no. You said, can we have a the Stars in Their Eyes? Nice. Is that right? Well, sure. There you are. And I said absolutely not. I see.

Speaker A

no but I believe your wife put some sort of curse on her well no not exactly you're not a tongue person are you I'm sorry I'm on communion Duty Christ but I cannot stand the tongue people mean what's all that about you can't lift a

Speaker A

Well, sure, all is well. And then you started begging. That ends well, as they say. At one point, it looked like you were going to cry. I think you've may be slightly misremembered there. And we've got a pretty exciting first prize lined up. The winner will get a chance to drum roll, please.

Speaker A

Jack Daniel mostly I see so assist himself says I call him this is no day for a do what's happening for when the bride arrived and as I say by this stage the wind was fierce my did I've never heard wind like

Speaker A

Sister, have you lost your actual mind? Perform their song live on TV? What about that? Now, yes, you girls, some lovely sentiments there, some very beautiful words. Unfortunately, that's all they are, sentiments and words. What you've just witnessed is a piece of fiction.

Speaker A

pepper doll and blown into a flow bat that's actually quite funny Christ not this [ __ ] again [Music] [Music] sister I used to be quite good at this I don't care Grazy what do you want well there's going to be a bit of a

Speaker A

The reality, I'm sorry to say, is much harsher, far more brutal. So let me take this opportunity to advise all our new girls to keep their guard up, watch their back. Oh, speaking of pupils who need to watch their back, I'd like to introduce James McGuire. Show yourself, please.

Speaker A

thrilled with all the amazing work you've done here over the years I'm ecstatic but perhaps he thinks it's time for a different challenge what pastor's new and all that he wants me to leave our lady Immaculate he thinks it's time and well

Speaker A

James will be the first ever boy to study here at Our Lady Immaculate College. He was due to start a Christian brother.

Speaker A

she who God she passed these concerns on to the bishop personally look this is always difficult sister but can I be frank I'll be whoever you want it's best in my experience erence to make peace with it because

Speaker A

ultimately it's out of your control lovely and I believe you wrote the lyrics yourselves is that correct it is indeed sister do you ever think you might have too much time in your hands girls lose the jackets okay just a couple of things

Speaker A

firstly I'd like to introduce May CH can you make yourself known please may miss Chong's family have recently moved here to Derry so I hope you'll all make her feel very welcome it's about to be a bit of a culture shock May things are done

Speaker A

differently in this part of the world but I'm sure you'll soon feel as at home here as you did back in your beloved Donny Gul announcement from Jenny Joyce and the dance committee the school social event of the

Speaker A

year is fast approaching but before you Dawn your Glad Rags and Boogie on I'm sorry I simply cannot read this just one announcement today girls I'm sure many of you will have guessed what it's about although tomorrow is not

Speaker A

officially a public holiday schools across the city have decided to view it as such because tomorrow the president of the United States of America is coming here to Derry you're a little young to perhaps understand the enormity of this a few short months ago this

Speaker A

would have been unimaginable but here we are and I for one can barely believe it I mean people in this place stop killing each other for five minutes and the whole world loses the absolute run of itself this visit concerns me for a

Speaker A

number of reasons girls but mostly because I am scared it will give the pope ideas and that's the last thing I need no our lady Immaculate will play no part in this farce and I expect to see you all here tomorrow morning business

Speaker A

as usual is that clear is that clear good evening ladies good evening sister I didn't know you were coming sister no I mean we're not really expected to attend the reunions but I couldn't help myself tonight the past pupils here are just so

Speaker A

untrustworthy I say and there's a lot of valuable items in the building paintings and the like so I think it's wise to keep an eye I'll be carrying out random searches throughout the night enjoy yourself ladies we'll try lovely all

Speaker A

together you know every year I sit backstage listening to the singers and it really makes me realize just how talented the professionals who originally recorded these tracks were Now who's on next this is just going to be a very relaxed informal chat

Speaker A

and I don't want you to think of me as a priest think of me as a friend look just like you now do before I dismiss you for the weekend a few announcements on Monday morning several of our year 13s will

Speaker A

face their GCSE maass reset now I know how daunting reset examinations can be so if anyone is feeling anxious or worried or even if you just want to chat please please do not come crying to me one might well question the wisdom of

Speaker A

sending you here of all places out of The Frying Pan into the well maybe not the fire but certainly a different type of frying pan or some sort of walk at the very least but please don't worry yourselves

Speaker A

too much about the whole Civil War sectarian conflict carry on there's really only one thing you need to know we are the goodies you claim it started weeping you're using the word claim a lot there Peter girls I'm not here to

Speaker A

make any judgments I'm just trying to get the truth that's all you think we're lying don't you no of course not I do I remember that James was being a dick miss m i don't like to use that word

Speaker A

sister but it's so hard to describe James any other way cuz he's just such a dick notice from Mr mcau this year's destination for the Euro Trotter's trip will be dramatic pause did you actually want me to do the

Speaker A

dramatic pause interesting Paris it's going to be Paris if you need any further information there is a stall in the Foye sadly I am unable to come on this one as I despise the French I don't think you're a dick

Speaker A

James really really and you know who else doesn't think you're a dick our lord for fixing this is just so disappointing girls I mean threatening a first year we didn't threaten her we're not stupid b Mandy's her sister and

Speaker A

she's half [ __ ] gorilla that's quite enough miss m hey shouldn't swear Michelle cuz when when you swear our lady in heaven she cries her tears then make rain isn't that right sister Michael what age are you know Ora 15

Speaker A

yeah you might want to think about wising up I've just received a phone call from Louis K's mother and it's not looking great oh God I just can't believe it it's unlikely she'll be returning to school before the end of

Speaker A

the year so I think the only thing we can do now is pray for her no sure use with that do but first let us pray please join hands I don't want you to talk tou me yeah sister Michael can I

Speaker A

just quickly ask um since there's no male student toilets on the premises am I permitted to use the staff ones absolutely not sister Michael some of us have actually already discussed this eventuality and the thing is well nobody's comfortable stepping into

Speaker A

Louis's shoes it feels a bit sort of disrespectful we think this issue should be cancelled I well fair enough if nobody's willing to take her place I'll do it excuse me I'll take her place I'll step under her

Speaker A

shoes I'll do it really absolutely no you can't we are making a statement you're ruining our statement look K I know Louise meant a lot to you she's not dead her well not yet hopefully she won't you know die but

Speaker A

if she does she'll must go on that's that right sister Michael you terrify me you can't be the editor you never even written an article Aaron that's because I can't get anything past Ripper Murdoch over there this isn't fair you can't let

Speaker A

it happen sister I know but I'm bored now so it looks like I probably will good luck all we're in Derry where preparations are underway for their famous Halloween celebration the incredible Fat Boy Slim is set to play this year's Festival why can't call

Speaker A

just give us a break I don't know maybe he hates us don't be ridiculous girls sister Michael of course God doesn't hate you thank you sister you're not interesting enough I see I'd say he'd be ambivalent towards you at best right if

Speaker A

he even exists what nothing are you hireing not your clothes me and the girls do it every Halloween you can make an absolute Fortune is that alive it's for a good cause like a charity thing like a foreign holiday

Speaker A

thing good day ladies why are you encouraging all this I wouldn't say I'm encouraging it I'm just open to the possib ility well I not not unless I see some cold hard evidence and maybe it's there proof at last Peter proof at

Speaker A

last is he all right I wouldn't say so no he's a priest like not happening but sister Michael don't even think about arguing I can't be doing with the Board of Governors getting into something like this at the moment

Speaker A

they're a thorn of my ARS at the best of times I mean for God's sake Aaron what happened to shoes of the world this is more important this is a point you know gay rights I see and I take it that's

Speaker A

what the camp shirts are in Aid of a very serious uniform violation by the way let's take one problem at a time shall we this isn't a problem sister this is groundbreak and journalism they are not to be distributed tomorrow do I

Speaker A

make myself clear but that's censorship well done you are correct you been sensored now go God is inviting us to be his witness we must look in the burial place what's he saying I think he's saying he wants to dig up the we dead dog's grave

Speaker A

what what fuing weird what's going on Aaron Quinn and her friends are handing out their magazine they're ignoring the band sister you need to put a stopped it sister didn't you hear me do you know what Jenny don't think I

Speaker A

did go away oh oh you're taking the piss now Sister you missed the first communion I'm devastated everything all right the bishop rang I see I decided to take your advice no point fighting it right then I had a whiskey and a word

Speaker A

with myself I rang him back you rang him back told him I make a difference here the girls know that the parents know that I I'm not ready to leave try and force me to and there'll be an

Speaker A

awful fuss I said I'll make sure of it I said and what did he say not much he didn't say much what wrong [Music] [Applause] you

Topics:Derry GirlsSister Michaelcomedyschool lifeexam resultsteenage humorNorthern IrelandBritish EmpireHat Trick Comedyschool drama

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