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Now, I want to say something that might sting a little, and I want you to hear it in the spirit it's intended. In my experience as a clinical canine behaviorist, the single most common source of stress in a dog's life isn't
Discover 7 common human behaviors that stress dogs and how to improve your dog's comfort and trust with expert advice from Will Atherton.
Key Takeaways
- Respect your dog's communication signals to prevent stress and escalation.
- Maintain consistent rules and routines to provide security and reduce anxiety.
- Avoid behaviors like hugging or looming that dogs perceive as threatening.
- Allow dogs to choose social interactions to foster positive experiences.
- Managing your own emotional state benefits your dog's behavior and wellbeing.
What the video covers
- Owners are often the biggest source of stress for dogs, more than other dogs or loud noises.
- Hugging dogs can cause stress as it is perceived as social pressure or restraint rather than affection.
- Leaning over dogs or looming into their space from above triggers fear and discomfort.
- Inconsistency in rules and routines confuses dogs and causes long-term behavioral issues.
- Forced socialization is harmful; dogs should have voluntary, positive interactions.
- Ignoring subtle dog communication signals leads to escalation in behavior to get attention.
- Unpredictable daily schedules create anxiety as dogs thrive on routine and pattern.
- Using dogs as emotional support without managing your own stress negatively impacts their behavior.
- Consistency, respect for dog communication, and understanding canine needs improve dog wellbeing.
- The video promotes a deeper course for lasting behavioral improvements with dogs.
Chapters
- 00:00Introduction: Owner as a Source of Dog Stress
- 00:38Behavior 1: Hugging Dogs Causes Stress
- 01:54Behavior 2: Looming Over Dogs
- 02:36Behavior 3: Inconsistent Rules and Routines
- 03:14Behavior 4: Forced Socialization
- 04:36Behavior 5: Ignoring Dog Communication
- 05:51Behavior 6: Unpredictable Daily Schedules
- 06:48Behavior 7: Using Dogs as Emotional Support
- 07:23Conclusion: Understanding and Improving Dog Wellbeing
Full Transcript — Download SRT & Markdown
Speaker A
other dogs. It isn't loud noises. It isn't a difficult history. It's the owner. And before you click off, I'm not pointing fingers. I'm one of these people, too. I have done almost everything on this list with my own
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dogs. But once you understand why your dog hates these behaviors, you can't unsee it. And your dog's entire world starts to shift for the better. Now, the first one is something I see in almost every household I walk into, and it's
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one of the hardest things to get owners to stop because it comes from a place of pure love. Hugging. Humans hug each other to express affection, to offer comfort, to say, "I care about you." And so, it feels completely natural to wrap
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your arms around your dog when you want them to know they're loved. The problem is that in canine communication, placing a limb over another animal is not a sign of affection. It is a display of social pressure. It is something a dominant
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animal does to a submissive one. So, when you wrap your arms around your dog, even gently, even with the best intentions in the world, what your dog often experiences is a moment of being physically restrained by a creature much
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larger than them with no escape route. Most [music] dogs tolerate it because they love you and they've learned to suppress that discomfort. But suppression is not the same as comfort.
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Watch your dog's face the next time you hug them. Whale eye, where you can see the whites of their eyes, a tense jaw, maybe a lick lip or the ears pulled back. These are not signs of a dog
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enjoying a cuddle. They are signs of a dog enduring one. The second behavior is leaning over your dog, reaching over the top of their head to stroke them, looming into their space from above.
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Again, this feels completely natural to us. We're tall, dogs are low. It's just how the geometry works out. But for a dog, something coming at them from above and getting into their personal space before they've invited that is genuinely
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alarming. It triggers a fret response in a lot of dogs. The correct way to greet a dog, especially one you don't know, is to crouch. Turn side on and let them come to you. Invite rather than impose.
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That shift alone from looming to crouching can completely change how a nervous dog responds to a person within [music] seconds. The third one is inconsistency. And this is one of the most things that cause the most long-term behavioral damage in my
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professional opinion. Dogs are not confused by rules. Dogs are confused by rules that change. If your dog is allowed on the sofa on a Sunday morning when you're feeling relaxed, but told off for jumping up on a Tuesday evening
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when you've had a bad day at work, that dog is not learning that the sofa is sometimes acceptable. That dog is learning that the world is unpredictable and that your mood is their variable they need to constantly monitor to stay
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safe. That is genuinely stressful for a dog to live with. Now, take Sully, my mate here. He is the calmest, most settled dog I've ever had. And a big part of that is consistency. He has always known exactly what the lines are.
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That security is one of the greatest gifts that you can give a dog. The fourth behavior is forced socialization.
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And this is one where I'll say it plainly, stop it. Stop dragging your dog towards other dogs because you think they should be friendly. Stop letting strangers rush over and get in your dog's face because the stranger has
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decided they want to say hello. Your dog does not owe anyone their comfort. Just as you wouldn't force a person with social anxiety into a crowded room and just tell them to deal with it, forcing a dog into interactions they haven't
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chosen is not socialization. Now, before I carry on with this list, I do want to quickly mention something. I've got a course called The Perfect K9 Companion Course, and it goes so much deeper into everything that we're covering today.
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The why behind the behavior, the practical steps you can take, all of it laid out in a proper structured program.
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And as a YouTube viewer, you get an automatic discount when you join. The link's in the description box below.
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It's genuinely the most complete thing I've ever put together. And if you want real lasting results with your dog, it's worth a look. But let's get back to forced socialization. True socialization is about positive, voluntary contact. It's about your dog choosing to engage and
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finding that engagement positive or rewarding. The moment your dog is not choosing it, you need to advocate for them. Step in front of them. Plant your flag. Tell the other person no. Be your dog's advocate because they cannot use a
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voice of their own. The fifth one is something people don't think of as a behavior at all, but the harsh reality is that it absolutely is, and that's ignoring communication. Dogs tell us constantly how they're feeling. They are
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remarkably transparent animals if you know what to look for. Yawning when nothing's tiring, lip licking when there's no food, turning their head away, lowering their body. These are not random quirks. These are requests. These are your dog saying, "I'm not
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comfortable right now. Please help me as my loving leader." When we miss these signals, or worse, when we see them and push through anyway, we teach our dogs that their communication doesn't work.
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And a dog that has learned its subtle communication doesn't work will escalate to communication that cannot be ignored.
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A growl, a snap, a bite. Not because the dog is suddenly dangerous, but because every quieter request was dismissed until the only option left was for them to shout in their way. The sixth behavior is the one that's becoming more
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common as our lives get busier. Inconsistent and unpredictable daily structures. Dogs are not spontaneous creatures by nature. They are pattern animals. They find deep comfort in knowing roughly when they'll be fed, when they'll be walked, when the house
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will be quiet, and when it won't be. That doesn't mean that you need to run your life by a military schedule for your dog. But wildly erratic days, sometimes walked at 7 in the morning, sometimes not until two in the
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afternoon, sometimes not even taking them for a walk at all, create a low-level background anxiety. And a lot of dogs, the owners often make for the dog just being highly strung. The dog isn't highly strung. The dog is in a
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constant state of not knowing what's coming next and what isn't. And that uncertainty for many dogs is just exhausting. And [music] the seventh behavior is perhaps the most uncomfortable one to talk about because it's the most human of all, and that's
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using your dog as an emotional support vessel without considering the weight of what that does to them. When we're stressed, we reach for our dogs. When we're anxious, we hold them close. And dogs feel all of that. They are
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extraordinarily sensitive to human emotion. It's one of the things that make them so remarkable as companions.
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But a dog that is constantly absorbing a highly stressed, highly anxious owner state of mind with no relief, no outlet, no moment of genuine calm in the home will begin to reflect that state back to you. You will see it in their behavior,
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in their reactivity, in their inability to settle and be calm. The uncomfortable truth is that your dog's nervous system is partly calibrated to yours. If you are not okay over time, they are not often okay either. Which means that
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sometimes the most important thing you can do for your dog's behavior, it's not a training technique at all. It's working on yourself. None of this is about blame. Every single one of these behaviors comes from a good place, from
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love, from busy lives, from simply not having been shown another way. But once you see it, you can't unsee it. And when you do, you will be
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Because dogs want to be settled. [music] They want to trust you. They want to feel safe.
Topics:dog behaviorcanine stressdog trainingdog communicationdog anxietyowner mistakesdog socializationconsistent trainingemotional support dogsWill Atherton
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