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villain is making a comeback thanks to the universe's worst villain, THE BIG BAD. Worst means best when you're talking about evil.
Pilot episode of ZAMination's Calling All Villains: the Big Bad recruits villains into a brutal competition, and Mr. Puzzles joins a chaotic first mission to steal a pencil on the paper planet Oram 3.
Key Takeaways
- Calling All Villains is a comedic animated series built around a villain competition hosted by the Big Bad.
- The pilot establishes the cast, competition format, and first mission structure.
- Humor comes from absurd villain tropes, meta-jokes, and frequent crude or deadpan lines.
What the video covers
- The Big Bad, universe's worst villain, recruits 300 co-villains split into batches of six for a competition to become the next Big Bad.
- Mr. Puzzles (Villain 265) registers after answering the call and is bound to the competition and cannot leave.
- Contestants include a bone-drone housekeeper, a former hero-killing freelancer, and a group of quirky, bickering villains.
- The Big Bad performs a self-aggrandizing villain song, and contestants are introduced to the competition's mechanics and rules.
- The first mission sends the villains to Oram 3, the paper planet, to steal the sacred scribbler pencil that controls the planet.
- The team plans a heist involving a distraction, a pickpocket of the king, and a code word, 'peanut butter hour.'
- A king on the paper planet is shown struggling with failure and an escape hatch under his throne is discovered.
- Humor relies on absurd dialogue, meta-commentary, and sudden tonal shifts between mock-serious villainy and silliness.
- The episode ends with contestants sorted into batches and the Big Bad's judgment hinted as the competition's stakes.
- The episode is a comedic animated pilot introducing the series' cast and premise.
Full Transcript — Download SRT & Markdown
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Surrender with the whole family and witness these lucky civilizations crumble. You know him. You hate him.
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What's his name? Mr. Puzzles. Yay. One day they'll remember that. No name tag required.
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Probably. [music] Who do you want to be? That's what they're asking of me. What is my calling to put my all into?
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Who am I? You don't know how it feels [music] to live beneath the world's heels.
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Can't say I haven't tried every avenue, just who [music] am I to think my dreams will come true.
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[singing] And when I get to the bottom of me, well, I bet [music] they're all going to love me, too. Who am I? Cheers to my last resort.
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I'm just a puzzle, be sure. What am I short of? A little fortitude. [music] Do I want to be a cook, a crew member, or a sailor at sea? Who do I want to be? A veterinarian with a degree. It's up to me.
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[singing] Everybody [music] finds their place where they leave behind a trace, something big, something small. Proof of living it all. Just who [music] am I?
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Don't touch that remote. Don't touch that remote. Don't touch that remote. Don't touch that.
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Calling all villains. You know who I am. The slayer of the unstoppable hero, conqueror of worlds, and four-time winner of the Noble Disturbing the Peace Prize. I, the Big Bad, am.
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And you can take my place for all the galaxies seeking glorious purpose. Congratulations. You found it. [music] Come through my layer. Train as my apprentice and compete to prove you have what it takes to be the next big man.
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[screaming] To have legacy, power, and a place in history. Will you answer the call? I am the Big Bad. I approve this message.
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[music] It's showtime. [music] Villain 265, Mr. Puzzles. By answering the call, you are [music] now at the mercy of the Big Bad and may not leave this competition at any time.
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Registrations are at the end of the scary hall. This is where you begin your journey to total domination.
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300 co-villains split into batches of six. In my good time and judgment, one batch will remain.
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And from that match, [music] the next big bad will rise. I'll be seeing you soon.
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Hey, you're all set, Mr. P. This buzzer will go off when it's time to meet the Big Bad. Their badge is waiting for you in the evil dorms. And remember, if you need anything, just ask a bone drone.
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Purpose fulfilled. Me. [laughter] No, come on. They're just random villains. You're a showstopper. This is it, folks.
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Let the show commence. [laughter] Greetings, fellow doer of the evil arts. Allow me to [laughter] Your attempts to confuse me are ineffective. Control, turn in your chair.
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What is wrong with you? [laughter] 78. What? Page 78 of the Big Book of Villainy. Keep your enemies close. Can't your little crab face tells me you want to know my secrets to get ahead of me.
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I mean, yeah. I love that. So evil. Hi, I'm the thing. HOUSEKEEPING. [screaming] [music] What do you want?
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Just wanted to say how cool it was when you ripped that guy's head off.
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Oh, so sweet of you. OH, DAMN. I HATE YOU. What is happening? Oh, jeez. Not again.
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Come on. Short breaths. Seek angry results. Cancer. Gas [music] prices, crisis. Late-stage capitalism.
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All right. Who's next? Hit me. [music] Oh, that's a lady killer. She's awesome. Oh, that is awesome.
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And who's that? And the last guy is running late as usual. So, tell us your deal, PD boy.
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Gladly. Behold, Mr. You could have killed me if you weapons back. [laughter] YOU SON OF A GUN. I thought you were dead. Nah, but you're about to be a [laughter] STOP. STOP FOR REAL.
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HEY, miss this eyebrows. Get along. Last few years. Damn, that's rough, man. But hey, if you want to make a splash in the universe, you chose one hell of a pool.
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And what are the odds? You're here, too. Should have stayed dead, man. Spent ages looking for you after we got separated, AND NOW IT WAS ALL FOR NOTHING.
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[laughter] BUT YEAH, I was busting heads freelance for a few years. Then the mother of all OPPORTUNITIES CALLED, AND HERE I AM TO DO some damage.
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See you at the goof troop. And I've collected all the intel I need on them before the mission.
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Why? This game isn't about intel, Box Head. It's about instinct. You've done your share of wrongdoing, sure, but you're going pro now. When the chips are down, you'll need more than a paper and pencil to make the tough decisions.
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Mission time. Mission time. Mission time. Oh, hello. What are you doing? Why is the room upside down?
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[music] [singing] IT HITS HIM. Prepare to meet the big man. We were too late.
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Oh, not yet, young ones. There's still some life left in this skull. Oh my gosh, IT'S SUCH AN HONOR. Mr. Big Bad, can you smack me with your cane? I collect villain-inflicted injuries.
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Oh, Mr. Big Bad is my father. [music] Just call me the Big Bad. Miss Be.
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[laughter] Wait, you know her name? I know all your names, Mr. [music] Puzzles. Such creative ones made to strike fear in the guts of your enemies.
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Except for you, Dave. Speaking of guts, I'm famished. Can we get some evil pizzas in here?
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IS THIS SOME KIND OF JOKE? NOT EVEN. The pizza's on its way RIGHT NOW. YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE THE MOST EVIL VILLAIN IN THE UNIVERSE. NOT SOME HALLOWEEN DECORATION. WHY THE [screaming] HELL ARE YOU STILL ON THAT THRONE? HUH?
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WELL, it's mine. Not anymore. [screaming and groaning] I've still got it. Evil [music] ladies and evil gentlemen, you're about to hear a villain song from the Big Man. And this track is available on all music stores. Help us go platinum
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or face the consequences. Call the Big Man. 1,000 [music] years ago, when I was handsome and insanely [music] I single-handedly went toe to toe with the number one hero and turned them to toast. Got villains back on top. But now I need
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someone to keep that up [music] before I walk into a ghost. But for now I'm surrounded [music] with new world, my aspirations [music] of everyone.
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I sent a broadcast through the talent sea [music] to get some wrong viewers to talk to me so I can share with them my expertise in [music] the home of all of you will succeed, everybody else.
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Oh, free [music] just wait and see. Who would it be? I'm number one, surrounding you to a new world.
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[music] My aspirations of everyone who [music] is not the place to be in life. You're back up. I'd be a miserable part when you can be a sensation.
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[music] Make your reputation in the song. [music] I will present creation support. [music] [music] [music] Oh, look at me go.
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[music] Purpose fulfilled. That's funny. All right, I've performed this song 52 times. Now, you whippersnappers ready for your first evil mission?
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Finally, this assignment shall bleed from every ornament. Delightfully disgusting, Lord General. I'll make it simple. See, as you're a Dave down.
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You've got this, kids. Yes. Because the consequences of failure are so extreme. Even I can't put them into words.
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You are currently hurtling towards Oram 3, the paper planet. [music] They possess a mighty pencil, the sacred scribbler, which has the power to control everyone on that planet.
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Obviously, I want it. Which means obviously you'll steal it. The pencil never leaves the king's side, so you'll need to scheme carefully. Oh, don't. I love him. From I expect villainous showmanship in disguise by someone who's a stranger. Just have fun with it. I'll
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arrive to subjugate the planet at 6:00 p.m. PST. If you're thinking about being late, don't do that.
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We will be documenting your performance to determine your bad placement or if you place at all.
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All right. Establishing shot, courtyard, day. The leader will distract the guards with a big frightening display.
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Meanwhile, one of us will slip behind the king and grab the pencil. Once in hand, the code word is peanut butter hour.
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And then we'll kill them all. AND I MEAN, KILL THEM ALL. Come on. Evil, evil, evil, and taxes, microtransactions.
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Yes, the pink thing in the back. So, while I'm leading the charge, what is everybody else doing?
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Perhaps I wasn't clear on who the leader is. I am the leader. [music] Really? For I am the scary leader.
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Your poopy paper [music] planet has been marked for subjugation. WHAT A FREE SHALL TREMBLE before the might OF [screaming] WAIT, so do we tremble before the might of you or the other guy? the other other guy.
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I am the brilliant, THE WELL READ [screaming] MR. BUZZLES. And each of these fine creatures are my highly capable sidekicks.
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Oh, this one a sidekick. [groaning] I know you don't hurt, but you're still doing it.
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You broke it. A sacred shrimper. It's not broken. It's a [laughter] star. Had a baby. Say something, baby. I don't think you'll buy it.
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Yeah, me neither. Oh, that's not good. [screaming] Guys, I can't find the chapter ABOUT SCREWING EVERYTHING UP.
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WE ARE GOING TO HAVE to slaughter THE ENTIRE PLANET. MORONS. WE GOT TO FIND THE KING AND NAB THE PENCIL. escort the king to the castle.
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[music] The villains are coming. You Get off. THIS ISN'T A COMMERCIAL FLIGHT. [screaming] GOODBYE.
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[music] [music] I mean, look, as much as it pains me, she's probably right. If we keep sabotaging each other, we're basically doing the enemy's job for them.
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Damn, the math checks out. The probability of death by paper is lower if we stick together.
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That was funny when you threw that notebook. Doesn't that make us less evil? I really don't want everyone until thinking [music] I'm nice because I'm super not.
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Guys, evil plan right now or no peanut butter hour. [music] Who is it? It's your loyal jester. I heard the king could use a pickme up.
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Oh, yes. Yes. Fetch the bull taste. It's one of the villains. I don't know how to fall.
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Is it weird that I'm kind of into this? Distraction part one is complete. Distraction part two is ready.
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Scissor pun. GET YOUR FLAT ASSES DOWN HERE NOW. WE PICK UP. Stay here. King, why don't everything get worse and worse? That's why I'm here, your highness. to take all your worries away.
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Okay. No, no, no. Come to the funny jester. Come to I hate my life. Chester.
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Big Papa. I could never be him. This pencil was his. He crafted this planet from nothing, like a true king. Now I'm here trying to be like him, saying crap like Doth and Forsouth. I don't know what a force is. [laughter]
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It's okay. Hi. A few years ago, I moved here from somewhere really, really far away.
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I had to leave everything I knew behind. And ever since, I've just failed and failed and failed.
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It's normal, I guess, is what I'm saying. [snorts] Let's run away together, jester. What?
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Why not? This planet deserves a king who's ready. And a jester who's truly happy.
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Um, before we go, why don't I deal with that pencil for you? No can do. This pencil's big papa's and no one else's.
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Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. [crying and snorts] [gasps] There's an escape hatch under my throne.
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For once in my life, I'll finally one of the villains. Look, who cares? Just leave all this behind. Just give it up.
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Whatever life you're living, you don't look happy. There's nothing wrong with starting over. Come on.
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What a day. Really? Thank this will be great. Whatever your name is, our lives are about to change for the better.
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Peanut butter hour. [music] This will make a fine addition to my evil. new collection.
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Talk about a royal mess. Normally I find cold bloodooded murder a bit uninspired, but you did a smashing job, Mr. Puzzles.
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H. [groaning] Now, let's see how you kids did out there. Successes completed mission. Failures. Confusing entrance. Lack of intimidation. No villain song. Hiding like sissies. Failure to I've seen my share of wannabe villains who didn't have what it takes.
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But that's not you. Why? I see something terrible in each of you. But like any good plague, it takes time to spread.
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I'm rooting for you kids. I really am. I'll be watching your journey with great interest. But unfortunately for now, I'll have to place you in batch C.
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The evil pizza is here. A few slip ups do not undo a success. We're not this bad. Well, I mean, we are bad, but like the good kind. Well, the bad kind, actually. But at least we weren't axe. Not such a
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failure after all, huh? Guess not. It's a big batch. He doesn't get it. Patty mistook us for another batch.
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Didn't see a brain in his skull. I looked through his eyehole. That is not me. And his musical NUMBER WAS TACKY.
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COOL. Robo Satan. Let's be real. Dave getting filet doesn't make the guy a god. Hell, I'd have smoked him just as quick. That old coup will realize his judgment's as bad as his hearing when we all claw our way to the top and win.
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Well, when one of us wins. We are villains. Such is the life. We'll hash that out eventually. For now, there's more evil fish to fry.
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We must crush every villain that stands in our way. Damn right, General. So, let's keep this strictly professional.
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Years of chaos and still not dead. I say we cash in our frequent flyer miles.
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Do we trust these guys? It pays to be skeptical of people, especially the good ones.
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Can't really know what's going on through their heads. But I've got your back, no matter how crazy this gets.
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You and me, we'll live basically immortal at this point, right? Probably [music] [music] [music] Heat.
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Heat. [music] [music]
Topics:Calling All VillainsZAMinationanimated seriesvillainscomedypilotBig BadMr. Puzzlesanimationcompetition
