Speaker A
Hello everyone. Welcome back to our channel. I am David and I am Alice. Hello. Hello. Great to see you again.
Learn why people ignore you and how to make them truly listen with practical tips on confidence, engagement, and communication.
Key Takeaways
- Listening requires active attention, not just hearing sounds.
- Confidence builds trust and makes people more likely to listen.
- Engage others by showing interest and making conversations two-way.
- Start conversations with something interesting to capture attention quickly.
- Body language and practice significantly enhance communication effectiveness.
Summary
- Distinguishes between hearing (automatic) and listening (active attention with ears, mind, and heart).
- Explains three main reasons why people don't listen: being boring, talking too much about oneself, and failing to grab attention early.
- Emphasizes the importance of speaking with confidence to gain trust and attention.
- Clarifies that confidence is not about being loud but about clear, calm, and prepared communication.
- Highlights body language's role in projecting confidence, including standing tall and eye contact.
- Introduces the concept of 'fake it till you make it' to build internal confidence through external posture.
- Discusses the importance of two-way communication: showing interest in others to make them interested in you.
- Mentions the power of starting conversations strongly to keep listeners engaged.
- Encourages practicing speech and using open questions to foster connection and emotional engagement.
- Stresses that effective communication is about people and relationships, not just language skills.
Chapters
Full Transcript — Download SRT & Markdown
Speaker A
Today we have a very special topic and I think this topic is something that everyone needs. Every single person.
Speaker A
Oh yes, everyone. Even me. Even David. Yes, even me. So Alice, let me ask you a question. A very simple question.
Speaker A
Okay, ask me. Have you ever talked to someone and they just did not listen?
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Oh. Oh, yes. Yes. Yes. Many times. And how did that feel? Terrible. It felt terrible. Like I was invisible. Like I was talking to a wall.
Speaker A
Exactly. Talking to a wall. That is a great expression. We will talk about that later.
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Yes. And I think many people watching right now, they know this feeling too. I think so too. So today we are going to talk about something very powerful.
Speaker A
Something that can change your life, your work life, your family life, your friendships. What is it, David? Tell them. Tell them.
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Today's topic is how to make people listen to you. Yes. How to make people really listen.
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Not just hear, but really listen because there is a difference between hearing and listening. And we will talk about that too.
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Stay with us. This will be a great conversation. I promise. And if this is your first time here, welcome. We are so happy you are here.
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We speak slowly, we speak clearly, and we always make English simple and fun. So relax. Maybe you are cooking right now. Maybe you are driving. Maybe you are lying on your bed.
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Yes. Wherever you are, just listen and learn. Let's go. Okay, Alice, let's start with something very basic. What is the difference between hearing [music] and listening?
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Oh, good question. I think hearing is when sound comes into your ears. Yes, exactly. Hearing is automatic. You don't choose to hear. Sound just comes in.
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Like if someone drops a cup in the kitchen, you hear it. Yes. You don't decide to hear it. It just happens.
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But listening is different. Listening means you are paying attention. You are choosing to focus. You are really trying to understand what the other person is saying.
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So [music] hearing is with your ears, but listening is with your ears and your mind.
Speaker A
Yes, that is perfect, Alice. I like that. Hearing is with your ears. Listening is with your ears and your mind.
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And maybe your heart too. Ooh, yes. Your heart too. Beautiful. So, when we say how to make people listen to you, we mean how do you get people to really pay attention to you?
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Yes. How do you get people to focus on you, to care about what you are saying?
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Because it doesn't always happen naturally. Sometimes you talk and people just look at their phone.
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Yes, everyone knows that feeling. You are speaking and the other person is looking at their phone and you feel like, "Hello, am I invisible?" Exactly. Like you are a ghost. A very loud ghost. [laughter] A very loud ghost. I love that. Okay, so
Speaker A
let's talk about why people don't listen because I think this is important to understand first.
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Oh yes, good idea. Why do people not listen? Well, I think there are a few reasons.
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First, sometimes we are boring. Oh, that's a little harsh, David. I know. I know. But it's true, right?
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Sometimes we talk too much. We use too many words. We repeat ourselves too many times. And people get bored.
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That's true. If you talk for a very long time without stopping, people stop listening.
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Yes. Their mind goes somewhere else. Maybe they start thinking about their dinner or what they need to buy at the supermarket.
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Ha. Yes. While you are talking about something very serious, they are thinking about pasta. Exactly. So, lesson number one, don't be boring. Keep it short. Keep it interesting.
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Okay. What is the second reason people don't listen? Second reason, sometimes we don't make people feel important. We talk about ourselves too much. We say I I I all the time and the other person feels like they don't matter.
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Ah, yes, that makes sense. If someone talks only about themselves, I start to feel like a chair just sitting there, not important.
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A chair. Good one. Yes. If you want people to listen to you, you also need to show interest in them.
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So, it's a two-way thing. Yes. A two-way thing. Very important phrase. A two-way thing means it goes both ways. You listen to me, I listen to you. You care about me, I care about you.
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Two-way, like a two-way street. Exactly. A two-way street. Great expression. Remember that. What is the third reason?
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Third reason, sometimes we don't know how to start a conversation. We don't grab attention at the beginning. And if you lose someone in the first 10 seconds, it's very hard to get them back.
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Oh, that's very true. Like YouTube videos right? Yes. Exactly like YouTube videos. If the first 5 seconds are boring, people click away.
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Same with conversations. Same with conversations. So, you need to start strong. Start with something interesting. Something that makes people think, "Oh, I want to hear more." Okay. So, now let's talk about how how do we make people listen to us?
Speaker A
Yes. Let's get to the good stuff, the tips, the secrets. Let's go. Okay, Alice. Tip number one, this is maybe the most important tip of all. Are you ready?
Speaker A
I'm ready. Tell me. Tip number one is speak with confidence. Confidence. What does that mean exactly?
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Confidence means you believe in yourself. You believe in what you are saying. You are not afraid. You speak clearly. You speak at a good speed. Not too fast, not too slow.
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So if I speak like this, very fast and quiet and I'm not sure what I'm saying and maybe I should stop. Sorry, I don't know. That is not confidence.
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No, that is not confidence at all. That was very funny, Alice. But yes, if you speak like that, people will not listen.
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They will think, hm, she is not sure about what she is saying. Why should I believe her?
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Exactly. So when you speak with confidence, people trust you more. Yes. Confidence [music] equals trust. People listen to people they trust.
Speaker A
But David, what if someone is shy? What if they are nervous? It's not easy to just be confident.
Speaker A
That is such a great point. And I want to say confidence is not about being loud. Confidence is not about being aggressive. You can be quiet and still be confident.
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Oh, say that again. I think that's important. Confidence is not about being loud. You can be quiet and still be very confident.
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Yes. Because some very powerful people, they speak very quietly, but everyone listens because their voice is calm and they believe in what they say.
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Exactly. Think about a great teacher. A great teacher doesn't shout. They speak calmly, clearly, and everyone is quiet because the teacher has confidence.
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So, how do you build confidence? Practice. That's the biggest one. Practice what you want to say before you say it. Even just in your mind or in front of a mirror.
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Oh, the mirror trick. Yes, I do that sometimes. I talk to myself in the mirror. [laughter] Same. And people think we are crazy, but it really helps.
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It really does. When you practice, you feel more prepared. And when you feel prepared, you feel more confident.
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Yes. Prepared equals confident. And one more thing about confidence, your body language matters. Ah, body language. Yes.
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Body language means how you hold your body when you speak. If you look down at the floor, if your shoulders are low, if you cross your arms, people think you are nervous or uncomfortable.
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But if you stand tall, look at the person. Keep your shoulders back. You look confident even if you don't feel confident inside. And here's a little secret. If you look confident on the outside, you start to feel confident
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on the inside, too. Really? Just by standing differently? Yes. Scientists call it fake it till you make it.
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Fake it till you make it. Say that again slowly. Fake it till you make it. It means act confident even if you don't feel it. [music] And slowly the feeling of confidence will come.
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I love that. Fake it till you make it. I'm going to remember that. Good. And remember when you speak with confidence, people naturally pay attention. They think this pe
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Yes, confidence is like a magnet. It pulls people in. A magnet. I like that. Okay, let's move to tip number two.
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Okay, tip number five. This one is also very important. I'm ready. Tip number five is ask good questions.
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Ask questions, but I thought we were talking about making people listen to me, not asking questions. [laughter] I know it sounds strange, but let me explain.
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Okay. When you ask someone a good question, a question they have to really think about, they become more interested in the conversation. They feel involved.
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involved. Yes, that's the opposite of feeling like a chair. [laughter] Yes, exactly. No more chair feeling.
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When you ask questions, people are no longer passive. They are active. They are part of the conversation.
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And when people feel involved, they pay more attention. Yes. Because now the conversation is about them too, not just about you.
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I see. So questions bring people into the conversation. Exactly. But not just any questions, good questions, open questions.
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What is an open question? An open question is a question that needs more than just yes or no. It's a question that makes the person think and talk like, "What do you think about this?" or "How did that make you feel?"
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Yes. Perfect examples. Those questions can't be answered with just yes or no. The person has to say something real.
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So a closed question is, "Did you like the movie?" Yes or no. Right? Closed question, short answer, conversation can die.
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And an open question is, "What did you think about the movie? What was your favorite part?" Much better. Now the person has to talk.
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And when they talk, they feel heard. And when they feel heard, they become more interested in what you have to say.
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It all connects. Listen to them. Ask them questions and they will want to listen to you.
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Exactly. It's all connected. Communication is a dance. You go forward, they go forward. You give, they give.
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A dance. I like that. Communication is a dance. Beautiful. And there's one more thing about questions. Sometimes starting what you say with a question is very powerful.
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What do you mean? [music] I mean, instead of just saying something straight away, you start with a question that grabs attention. Like, have you ever wondered why some people always seem so interesting to talk to?
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Oh, I just noticed you started this video with a question. [laughter] Yes, I did. Did you notice?
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I noticed now. You said, "Have you ever talked to someone?" And they just didn't listen.
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Yes. And that question immediately got people thinking. They started remembering a moment when that happened to them. And [music] now they are emotionally connected to the topic.
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That's clever. Start with a question, get people thinking, get people feeling, and now they want to keep listening.
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Exactly. Questions are magic. Use them. Tip number three, speak clearly [music] and simply. H what does that mean exactly?
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It means use words that people understand. Don't try to use very complicated, difficult words just to sound smart.
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Oh, I see. Because sometimes people use big words and I don't understand what they are saying. And I feel a little stupid.
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Yes. And that is the opposite of what you want. If people feel confused or stupid when you talk to them, they will stop listening. So simple words are better.
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Simple words are almost always better. The goal of communication is to be understood, not to impress people with your vocabulary.
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That's a really important point. Say it again. The goal of communication is to be understood, not to impress people with big words.
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Yes. Because even very smart people use simple language when they want to communicate. Well, exactly. Think about a great doctor.
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When a doctor explains something to a patient, they don't use all the medical terms. They use simple words because they want the patient to understand.
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Yes. A doctor might say, "You have a problem with your heart." Instead of using a very long medical word, right? Because the goal is understanding, not showing off your knowledge.
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Show off. What does show off mean? Show off means to try to impress other people. To say, "Look at me. Look how smart I am. Look how much I know." Ah, yes. I know people like that. They talk and you can feel they are trying to
Speaker A
impress you and it's actually a little annoying. [laughter] Yes, it can be. When someone is trying too hard to impress you, you lose interest. But when someone just talks to you simply and directly, you enjoy it.
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So simple equals likable. Simple equals likable. Good formula. And also clear speech is important. Speaking clearly means don't speak too fast.
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Pronounce your words well. Don't mumble. Mumble. What is mumble? Mumble is when you speak like this.
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Something something. I don't know. Maybe him. [laughter] That's terrible, David. That is very hard to understand.
Speaker A
Exactly. When you mumble, people can't hear you properly. They might ask, "What? Sorry. Can you repeat?" And after a while, they just give up listening.
Speaker A
So speak clearly. Open your mouth. Pronounce your words. Yes. And take pauses. Don't rush. A pause gives the other person time to understand what you just said. Pauses are powerful, right? Even a moment of silence can be very strong.
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Very true. Silence is not always bad. Sometimes a short pause before you say something important makes people pay more attention.
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Oh, because they think, "Oh, something important is coming. Let me listen." Exactly. Like when a teacher goes quiet in class, suddenly everyone looks up because they think, "What's happening?" And then the teacher says the important thing and everyone remembers it.
Speaker A
That's clever. Use silence to create attention. Yes, silence can be your friend. I never thought about that before. Great tip.
Speaker A
Okay, before we continue, I want to say something quickly. What is it, David? If you are enjoying this conversation, if you are learning new things, new expressions, new ideas, please like this video. It really helps us reach more
Speaker A
learners around the world. Yes. And if you haven't subscribed yet, please do it now. It's free and you will get our new videos every week. New conversations, new topics, new English lessons.
Speaker A
We put a lot of love into these videos and your support means everything to us.
Speaker A
Okay, thank you. Now, let's continue. More great tips coming up. Let's go. Tip number four is one of my favorites.
Speaker A
Ooh, tell me. I'm excited. Tip number four is use stories. Stories like bedtime stories. [laughter] Not exactly, but actually kind of yes.
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Let me explain. When you want to make a point, when you want people to understand something important, don't just say facts, tell a story. [music] Why stories? What's special about stories?
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Because the human brain loves stories. Our brains are made for stories. When we hear a story, we get interested. We want to know what happens next.
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Ah, yes, that's true. When someone starts a story with, "One day something very strange happened to me, I immediately want to know more." Exactly.
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You are hooked. You can't stop listening. That is the power of a story. And if someone just says, "There are five important reasons why exercise is good for you." That's a little boring.
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Yes, boring. But if they say, "Last year, I was very tired and sad all the time. I could not sleep. I felt terrible. Then one day I started walking for just 20 minutes every morning. And after 2 weeks, I felt like a completely
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different person. Oh, now I want to know what happened. What happened? See, that's the power. Start with excitement. Start in the middle of the action and people will stay to hear the rest.
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Jump into the action. I love that tip. Great. Stories are one of the most powerful tools we have as communicators.
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Use them. Okay, tip number two. What is it? This one is a little bit surprising. Are you ready? I'm ready.
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To make people listen to you, you need to listen to them first. Oh, wait. What? You mean to get someone to listen to me, I need to listen to them?
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Yes, exactly. That sounds a little backwards, a little upside down. [laughter] I know. But think about it. When someone really listens to you, when they look at you, they nod, they smile, they remember what you said, how do you feel?
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I feel wonderful. I feel important. I feel like this person really cares about me.
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And what do you want to do for that person? I want to listen to them, too. I want to give them my full attention.
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Exactly. You see, listening creates listening. When you give someone your full attention, they naturally want to give you their attention back.
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That is so true. It's like the two-way street again. Yes. The two-way street. You give, they give. You listen, they listen. So being a good listener is actually a skill that helps you.
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Yes, being a good listener is one of the most powerful skills you can have.
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People love people who listen to them. Okay, tip number two. What is it? This one is a little bit surprising. Are you ready?
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I'm ready. To make people listen to you, you need to listen to them [music] first.
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Oh, wait. What you mean? To get someone to listen to me, I need to listen to them.
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Yes, exactly. That sounds a little backwards, a little upside down, [laughter] I know, but think about it. When someone really listens to you, when they look at you, they nod, they smile, they remember what you said, how do you feel?
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I feel wonderful. I feel important. I feel like this person really cares about me.
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And what do you want to do for that person? I want to listen to them, too. I want to give them my full attention.
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Exactly. You see, listening creates listening. When you give someone your full attention, they naturally want to give you their attention back.
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That is so true. It's like the two-way street again. Yes. The two-way street. You give, they give. You listen, they listen.
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So, being a good listener is actually a skill that helps you. Yes. Being a good listener is one of the most powerful skills you can have.
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People love people who listen to them and they will always want to talk to you again.
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Okay. So, how do you show someone that you are really listening? Great question. First, put your phone away or at least put it face down. Don't check it while someone is talking to you.
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This is so basic, but so many people don't do it. I know it's a small thing, but it makes a huge difference. When you put your phone away, you say, "You are more important than my phone right now."
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That is such a nice message without any words. Yes. Your action speaks louder than words. Oh, that's an expression, right?
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Actions speak louder than words. Yes, good catch, Alice. Actions speak louder than words. It means what you do is more important than what you say.
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So, even if I say I'm listening, but I'm looking at my phone, my action says something different.
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Exactly. Your action says I'm not really listening, so put the phone away. Okay. Phone away. What else?
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Second, make eye contact. Look at the person when they speak. Not a scary stare, just a normal friendly look.
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Yes, eye contact shows that you are focused. You are present. Present. That means you are here in this moment. Not thinking about the past, not thinking about the future, just here.
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Being present. I think that's a beautiful idea. It is. And it's becoming harder and harder these days because there are so many distractions. Our phones, the internet, our thoughts.
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So being present is a gift. You give someone your full presence and that is a very special thing.
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A beautiful way to say it. Okay. What else helps you show you are listening?
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Nodding. [music] I think nodding is important. Yes. Nodding means moving your head up and down like this. It shows the person yes I understand. I am following what you are saying.
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And sometimes saying small words like mhm or yes or I see or really. Yes. Those little sounds and words, we call them listening noises or back channels. They tell the speaker, "Keep [music] going. I am with you." And if you say nothing, just silence,
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the other person might think, "Does she understand? Is she bored? Does she want me to stop?" Exactly. So those small sounds are very important. They keep the conversation alive.
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Okay. So to be a good listener, put your phone away, make eye contact, nod, and say small listening sounds.
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Perfect summary, Alice. You are a good student. Thank you, teacher David. Okay, let's go to tip number three.
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Okay, now we want to take a small break and practice. Yes, because learning English is not just about listening. You need to practice too.
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So, we are going to ask you some questions. And I want you, yes you, the person listening to think about the answers. Maybe say them out loud or write them in the comments.
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Yes, say it out loud. Even if you are alone, even if you feel a little silly, it really helps.
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Okay, first question. Think about a time when someone really listened to you. How did that feel?
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Take a moment. Think about it. Maybe close your eyes for a second. How did it feel when someone gave you their full attention? Maybe a friend, maybe a family member, maybe a teacher.
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When you have an answer, hold it in your mind. Okay. Second question. Is there someone in your life who is very good at making people listen to them? Who is it? Why are they so good at it?
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Think about this person. What do they do differently? How do they speak? How do they act?
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And third question, which tip from today do you want to use first? Confidence, [music] listening, stories, questions, caring.
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Which one do you need the most? You don't have to answer now, but we would love to read your answers in the comments below.
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Yes, please write us a comment. Tell us which tip you want to try. Tell us about the person in your life who is a great communicator.
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We read every comment. Everyone. Yes, we do. And we always love hearing from you. You are our community.
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Okay. Tip number six. And this one comes from the heart. Oh, I like this already.
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Tip number six is show people that you care about them. H what do you mean? I mean, people can always feel if you really care about them or if you just want something from them, if you are just using them. People
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are very good at feeling this. Oh, yes. You can always tell when someone talks to you and you feel like they don't really care about me. They just want me to do something for them.
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And how do you feel in that moment? Not good. I feel like an object, not a person.
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And do you listen to that person? Not really. I listen on the surface, but inside I'm already thinking about how to end the conversation.
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Exactly. Because they don't feel authentic. They don't feel real. They don't feel like they care.
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Authentic. That's a good word. What does it mean? Authentic means real, genuine, honest, not fake.
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So, an authentic person is someone who is really themselves, not trying to be someone else.
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Yes. And authentic people are very attractive to talk to because you feel safe with them. You trust them.
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Yes. I love talking to authentic people. They make me feel comfortable. So, how do you show people you care? A few ways. First, remember small details about them.
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Oh, yes. If someone remembers something I mentioned once, even something small, I feel so special.
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Give me an example. Like if I told someone that my dog's name is Max and then two weeks later they say, "Oh, how is Max doing?" I think, "Wow, they remembered. They really listened to me.
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They care." Yes. Such a small thing, but such a big impact. Remembering small details says, "You matter to me. I was listening when you talked." And when someone makes you feel like you matter, you want to listen to them, too.
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Yes. You want to give them your attention because they gave you theirs. What else shows that you care?
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Second, use their name. When you talk to someone, use their name sometimes. Oh, I've heard this before. People love hearing their own name.
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Yes, it's true. When someone says your name, your brain immediately pays attention. You think, "Oh, they are talking to me specifically, not to a group, to me." Yes. It feels personal. It feels direct.
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Exactly. But don't overdo it. Don't say the person's name in every sentence. That starts to feel strange, right? Hello, John. How are you, John? I think, John, that the weather today, John, is very nice, John.
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Yes, that's too much. Too much, John. Use the name naturally once or twice at the beginning or at a special moment.
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Okay. Use the name but naturally. Got it? Third, and this is very important, don't just wait to talk. really listen to what they say and respond to what they said, not what you wanted to say.
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Oh, can you explain that more? Yes. Sometimes in a conversation, people are just waiting for their turn to talk.
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They are not really listening to the other person. They are just thinking, "Okay, when they stop, I will say my thing." Oh, I am guilty of that sometimes.
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Me too. We all are sometimes. But if you really want to connect with someone, you need to respond to what they actually said. Show that their words had an impact on you.
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Like if someone says they are nervous about a job interview, don't just say, "Oh yeah, I had a job interview once." Instead, say, "That sounds really stressful. What are you most nervous about?" Exactly. You responded to their feeling.
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You showed that you heard them, that their emotion mattered to you. And now they feel understood and they like [music] you more.
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Yes. And they will listen to you more because you showed you are a real caring person. I really believe this. Real connection comes from real caring.
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Beautiful. [music] Real connection comes from real caring. Okay, two more tips and then we will review everything. Tip number seven.
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Yes. What is it? Tip number seven. Control your energy. My energy. What do you mean?
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I mean the feeling or emotion you bring to a conversation. Your energy. Your vibe.
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Vibe. Yes. I like that word. Your vibe is the feeling you give other people.
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Exactly. When you walk into a room, before you even say one word, people can feel your energy. Are you happy? Are you stressed? Are you calm? Are you angry?
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Oh, that's so true. Some people walk in and you immediately feel this is a positive, warm person. And other people walk in and you think, hm, something is wrong. Something is [music] heavy.
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And people are attracted to positive, calm energy. People want to be around it. They want to listen to it. So if you come to a conversation very stressed and anxious and negative, people will feel uncomfortable and they will not want to stay in the
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conversation long. But if you are calm, warm and positive, people will feel good around you and they will want to listen to you.
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So before an important conversation, take a breath, calm yourself, bring positive energy. Yes, even just one or two slow, deep breaths can change your energy completely.
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Really, just breathing? Really? Try it right now with me. Take a slow breath in.
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Breathing in and slowly out and [music] out. Ooh, I do feel a little calmer.
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Right? It's simple, but it works. And when you are calmer, you think more clearly, you speak more clearly, you listen better, everything becomes better.
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So, breathing is also a communication tool. [laughter] Yes, I never thought about it like that, but yes, breathing is a communication tool.
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I love that. Also smile when it's appropriate. A genuine smile, not a fake one. A real smile makes people feel safe and comfortable with you.
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Yes, a real smile is so welcoming. And people listen more to someone who makes them feel safe and comfortable.
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So, smile, breathe, and bring good energy. Simple but powerful. Okay, last tip. Tip number eight.
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The final tip. Tell [music] me. Tip number eight. Don't try to be perfect. Try to be interesting. Ooh, I like this one. What do you mean?
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I mean, a lot of people are so afraid of making a mistake when they speak in English or in their own language too.
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They are so careful, so worried and they become robotic. Robotic. Ha. Like a robot. Very stiff, very careful, no emotion.
Speaker A
Yes. And robots are not interesting to listen to, right? Ha. No, not at all.
Speaker A
But interesting people. People who tell a funny story, make a small joke, admit a mistake, show a little bit of their real personality. Those people are fascinating.
Speaker A
Yes, I love talking to people who are real, who laugh at themselves, who don't pretend to be perfect.
Speaker A
And here is the beautiful thing. When you stop trying to be perfect and you just try to be interesting and real, people love you more. They listen more because perfection is boring. Realness is interesting. Yes, perfection is cold.
Speaker A
Perfection has no cracks and we don't connect with perfection. But realness has cracks and we connect with the cracks.
Speaker A
I love that. We connect with the cracks, the imperfections, the mistakes, the funny stories, the oh no, I did something embarrassing moments.
Speaker A
H yes, the embarrassing moments are often the best ones. Absolutely. When you share something a little embarrassing or funny or vulnerable about yourself, people think, "Oh, this person is like me. This person is human." And when I think this person is like me,
Speaker A
I trust them more. I listen to them more. Exactly. Vulnerability creates connection. Realness creates trust. And trust makes people listen.
Speaker A
So don't hide your imperfections. Use them. Use them. They are your superpower. Superpower. I love it. Your imperfections are your superpower.
Speaker A
Yes. Beautiful. Okay, David. Now, let's review. Let's say the key phrases one more time slowly and clearly.
Speaker A
Good idea. For our listeners, please repeat after us. Say the phrases out loud. This is great practice.
Speaker A
Are you ready? Let's go slowly. First phrase, speak with confidence. Speak with confidence. Say it again.
Speaker A
Speak with confidence. Good. Next phrase. Be a good listener. Be a good listener. Be a good listener.
Speaker A
Next. Speak clearly and simply speak clearly and simply speak clearly and simply use stories.
Speaker A
Use stories. Use stories. Ask good questions. Ask good questions. Ask good questions. Show that you care.
Speaker A
Show that you care. Show that you care. Control your energy. Control your energy. Control your energy. And last one, be interesting, not perfect.
Speaker A
Be interesting, not perfect. Be interesting, not perfect. Beautiful. Eight tips. And now let's do the expressions we learned today.
Speaker A
[music] Yes. Let's go. First expression, talking to a wall. Talking to a wall. Talking to a wall means talking to someone who is not listening. Like you are talking to a wall. Nothing goes in.
Speaker A
Next expression. A two-way street. A two-way street. A two-way street means something that goes both ways. Both people have responsibilities. Both people give and receive.
Speaker A
Next, fake it till you make it. Fake it till you make it. Fake it till you make it means act like you have confidence even if you don't feel it. And slowly real confidence will come.
Speaker A
Next, actions speak louder than words. Actions speak louder than words. This means what you do is more important than what you say. Your behavior shows the truth. And next, [music] jump into the action.
Speaker A
Jump into the action. Jump into the action means start immediately with the most interesting and exciting part. Don't spend a long time with background information.
Speaker A
And the last one, we connect with the cracks. We connect with the cracks. This means we connect with people's imperfections, their real moments, their honest emotions, not their perfect image.
Speaker A
We connect with the cracks. I really love that one. Me, too. Maybe my favorite phrase today.
Speaker A
David, can we do a little role play? Oh, a role play. Yes, great idea. You want to practice the tips?
Speaker A
Yes. Let's do a small natural conversation where we use the tips so our listeners can see how it works in real life.
Speaker A
Okay, listeners, watch carefully. We are going to have a short conversation and we will use the tips naturally. See if you can spot them.
Speaker A
Ready, David? Ready. Hey, David. How are you? How was your morning? Actually, something a little funny happened this morning.
Speaker A
Really? What happened? Well, I was running late. I was rushing. I grabbed my coffee. I ran out the door.
Speaker A
And then I got to the bus stop and I realized I was wearing two different shoes. [laughter] No, two different shoes.
Speaker A
Yes. One blue shoe, one black shoe, and the bus was already there. So, I just got on the bus. What could I do?
Speaker A
[laughter] That is so funny. What did people on the bus think? I don't know. I didn't look at anyone. I just stared at my shoes and hoped nobody noticed.
Speaker A
Okay, but tell me, how did that make you feel? Honestly, at first I felt embarrassed, but then I thought, you know what? This is going to be a funny story. And now look, I'm telling it to you and to everyone listening.
Speaker A
That is the perfect example of being interesting, not perfect. Huh. Exactly. A perfect person would never go outside with two different shoes, but an interesting person does and then tells the story.
Speaker A
I love it. And Alice, what about you? How was [music] your morning? Wait, David, I'm Alice in this roleplay.
Speaker A
You switched. Sorry. Sorry, I confused myself. That happens when you role play. [laughter] Okay, let's stop there. But listeners, did you see the tips?
Speaker A
Yes, David used a story. He jumped into the action. Something a little funny happened. He was real. He shared an embarrassing moment.
Speaker A
And Alice asked good questions. What happened? How did you feel? Open questions. And I was listening. I nodded. I reacted. I showed I was engaged.
Speaker A
It was a natural conversation, but it used the tips. That's the goal. Use the tips naturally, not robotically.
Speaker A
Yes, because if you try too hard, it becomes strange. Just practice and it becomes natural.
Speaker A
Okay, before we end, let's quickly talk about some common mistakes people make when they try to get others to listen.
Speaker A
Oh yes, the mistake section. Important. Mistake number one, talking too much. Oh yes. When someone talks too much without pausing, without giving the other person a chance to speak, you start to feel trapped.
Speaker A
[laughter] Trapped is a strong word, but yes, you feel like when will this end? When can I talk?
Speaker A
And at some point, you stop listening completely because your brain is just waiting for the exit.
Speaker A
So, leave space. Leave room for the other person. Don't monopolize the conversation. Monopolize. What does that mean?
Speaker A
Monopolize means to take control of everything. Like a monopoly. One person has everything. One person controls everything. If you monopolize a conversation, you take all the speaking time. You leave nothing for anyone else.
Speaker A
Yes. Don't monopolize the conversation. Share the space. Mistake number two, interrupting. Oh yes. Interrupting is when you cut in while someone else is speaking. You start talking before they finish.
Speaker A
Interrupting is very disrespectful. It says what I want to say is more important than what you are saying right now.
Speaker A
And it makes the other person feel unheard unvalued and then they don't want to listen to you because you didn't listen to them.
Speaker A
So wait, wait for the person to finish then speak. Yes. And even a small pause after they finish is good because it shows I was really thinking about what you said.
Speaker A
Oh yes. A pause shows you are actually processing what they said, not just waiting to talk.
Speaker A
Exactly. A pause is a sign of respect. Mistake number three. Mistake number three. Complaining too much.
Speaker A
Oh yes. If every time you talk you complain about something, it becomes exhausting. Yes, the weather is bad. My boss is terrible. My knee hurts. The traffic was awful. The food was bad.
Speaker A
Nothing is working. [laughter] That is a lot of problems. After a while, people start to avoid you because talking to you feels heavy.
Speaker A
Yes. Like carrying a big bag of rocks. [laughter] Yes, a heavy bag of rocks. Nobody wants to carry that.
Speaker A
So, be balanced. Yes. Sometimes we complain. That's normal. But also bring positivity, bring energy, bring something interesting or funny or curious.
Speaker A
Yes. Be someone that people feel better after talking to, not worse. Oh, I love that. Be someone people feel better after talking to.
Speaker A
That is the ultimate goal of good communication. Leave people feeling a little better than before they talked to you.
Speaker A
Okay, we are getting close to the end. Let's do a final summary. Perfect. We talked about eight tips today. Let me list them.
Speaker A
And listeners, try to say them with us before David says them. Can you remember?
Speaker A
Here we go. Tip one, speak with confidence. Tip two, be a good listener yourself.
Speaker A
Tip three, speak clearly and simply. Tip four, use stories. Tip five, ask good questions.
Speaker A
Tip six, show that you care. Tip seven, control your energy. Tip eight, be interesting, not perfect.
Speaker A
Perfect. [music] Eight beautiful tips. And you know what? These tips don't just work in English. They work in every language, in every culture, in every situation.
Speaker A
Yes. Whether you are speaking at work, at home, with friends, in a job interview, these principles work everywhere.
Speaker A
Because at the end of the day, it's not about English. It's about people. And all people want the same thing.
Speaker A
What do they want? They want to feel heard. They want to feel important. They want to feel connected.
Speaker A
And when you give them that, they will always listen to you. That's beautiful. really beautiful.
Speaker A
I think so, too. Okay, everyone. We are at the end of today's video. And wow, we talked a lot today, but I hope it was interesting. I hope it was useful.
Speaker A
We really hope you take these tips and try them in your life. Not all of them at once. That's too much. Maybe just pick one tip, the one that felt most important to you, and try it this week.
Speaker A
Yes, one tip, just one, and notice the difference. And come back and tell us, did it work?
Speaker A
What happened? We really want to know. Before we go, we have one final question for you and we really want you to answer in the comments.
Speaker A
Yes, our comment question for today is tell us who in your life do you think is the best communicator? Who made Okay, everyone, we are at the end of today's video.
Speaker A
And wow, we talked a lot today, but I hope it was interesting. I hope it was useful.
Speaker A
We really hope you take these tips and try them in your life. Not all of them at once, that's too much. Maybe just pick one tip, the one that felt most important to you, and try it this week.
Speaker A
Yes, one tip, just one, and notice the difference. And come back and tell us, did it work?
Speaker A
What happened? We really want to know. Before we go, we have one final question for you, and we really want you to answer in the comments.
Speaker A
Yes. Our comment question for today is, tell us, who in your life do you think is the best communicator? Who makes you always want to listen? Why are they so good? Maybe it's a friend, a family member, a teacher, a boss, or maybe even
Speaker A
a YouTube channel you like. Yes, maybe it's us. Feel free to say so. Write your answer in the comments below.
Speaker A
We read every single one, and we love hearing from you. You are not just our viewers. You are our community, our English family.
Speaker A
Yes, and we are so grateful for every one of you. Whether this is your first video or your hundth, thank you for being here.
Speaker A
Thank you for listening. Thank you for learning. Thank you for being on this journey with us.
Speaker A
Keep practicing, keep speaking, keep being curious. And remember, English is not just a language. It's a door. And every video, every word, every sentence you understand opens that door a little bit wider.
Speaker A
I love that. So beautiful. See you in the next video. Bye everyone. Keep smiling, keep learning. We'll see you very soon.
Speaker A
Bye-bye.
Topics:communicationlistening skillsconfidencebody languageEnglish learningconversation tipsintermediate EnglishSpeak English with David & Alicehow to make people listeneffective communication
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