NLP Techniques Values Elicitation Demonstration

Demonstration of NLP values elicitation by Damon Cart, showing how to uncover deep client values for coaching and sales success.

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Key Takeaways

Values elicitation is a powerful NLP technique critical for coaching and sales.
Understanding deep client values leads to better influence and more effective personal or professional outcomes.
Clients' emotional states provide important cues during the elicitation process.
Taking time to explore beyond surface answers uncovers core motivating values.
Aligning actions with highest values brings confidence, peace, and purpose.

What the video covers

Damon Cart demonstrates the NLP technique of values elicitation, emphasizing its importance in coaching and personal development.
Values elicitation is presented as the foundational step in working with new clients to understand their deepest desires and motivations.
The video shows how clients' emotional states shift as they reveal deeper values during the process.
Values elicitation can also be applied in sales to better understand client needs and increase influence and persuasion.
Damon encourages viewers to take an assessment linked in the video to clarify their own values.
The demonstration includes exploring values such as security, independence, authenticity, integrity, happiness, connection, love, and purpose.
The process helps clients identify what they truly want on unconscious levels, enabling more effective goal setting and fulfillment.
Damon explains common challenges in values elicitation, such as clients jumping to end results instead of exploring deeper values.
The video highlights the importance of calibrating client responses and noticing subtle shifts in state during elicitation.
The ultimate goal is to help clients align with their highest values to achieve confidence, peace, balance, and purposeful living.

Chapters

What is values elicitation in NLP?

Values elicitation is an NLP technique used to uncover a person's deepest values and motivations, which helps in coaching, sales, and personal development.

How does values elicitation help in coaching?

By understanding a client's core values, a coach can tailor their approach to help the client achieve goals that align with what truly matters to them, leading to more effective and lasting change.

Can values elicitation be used outside of coaching?

Yes, values elicitation is also useful in sales and influence, as it helps understand clients' deeper needs and desires, making communication more persuasive and relevant.

Full Transcript — Download SRT & Markdown

Speaker A

Hey, Damon Cart here from Life Mastery Gym. A lot of you have been asking me for more demonstrations for a lot of the techniques, the NLP techniques that I described. And if you've been following my videos, you know how much I emphasize values elicitation.

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values elicitation so I get a lot of questions around this so what you're about to see is a demonstration of how I do value solicitation and this is the beginning of every process that I do anytime I'm starting with a new client

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So I get a lot of questions around this. So what you're about to see is a demonstration of how I do value elicitation, and this is the beginning of every process that I do anytime I'm starting with a new client.

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it's one of the most powerful things you can possibly do you can also use this for sales if you're listening values from your clients you want to know in the deeper levels what did it what exactly it is that they want and this

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Or before we get into an actual process, I want to know what that person wants deep down inside on all of the deeper unconscious levels. And of course, I do this for myself for anything that I want, anything that I'm going to pursue.

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what it is your client wants so that you can help them get it and that's what you're gonna find in this video you also notice in this demonstration how the person's state changes as she's giving me more and more of her been her deeper

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It's one of the most powerful things you can possibly do. You can also use this for sales. If you're listening for values from your clients, you want to know in the deeper levels what exactly it is that they want. And this

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process in this assessment to elicit your values in a particular area of your life or something specific that you want so in addition to watching this video you'll want to go down and click that link and do this assessment what do you

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will make you so much more persuasive and influential. And of course, if you're a coach and you're using this with your clients, the same thing, the best thing that you can do as a coach is to know on the deepest levels

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I suppose the basic value because I've been wondering about this it's to do with abundance since there's more that I can contribute to my family and my community without sort of costly feeling worried that there isn't any money's

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what it is your client wants so that you can help them get it. And that's what you're gonna find in this video. You also notice in this demonstration how the person's state changes as she's giving me more and more of her deeper

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you to be able to share the things that I love to share with other people okay let's go to security what would having more security do for you it would it would help me to feel as if I could make make different sorts of

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values and going deeper and deeper. So if you want to experience this right away, there is a link down below. You click that link and it'll take you to an assessment to help you get clear about what it is that you want. We use the same

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that security but I would feel as if I I would always have enough to do what I wants to do okay so if you were able to be able to make those choices that you want to make and take those risk what would that do for you

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process in this assessment to elicit your values in a particular area of your life or something specific that you want. So in addition to watching this video, you'll want to go down and click that link and do this assessment. What do you

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myself and Choppers myself without worrying really what other people think okay and if you had the independence authenticity and integrity what would that do for you I think it would allow me to I think would it allow me to

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want? Oh, what I would love is a thriving business. Business. All right. And what would having a thriving business do for you? It would give me a sense of purpose and contribution, and it would also give me some security, some financial security. It would allow me to

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there would not be a problem with that okay what's important to you about happiness about being happy um I think one of the things is that when I am happy I'm much nicer to be around so I think that's to do with connection and

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I suppose the basic value, because I've been wondering about this, it's to do with abundance since there's more that I can contribute to my family and my community without sort of costly feeling worried that there isn't any money's

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in my experience of life so far when I am at peace I'm able to contribute more to take to be more to be more fully myself to be more fully present and I guess relax okay and so you've mentioned a connection

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gonna run out, all that, my ideas are gonna run out, or that, yeah, somehow this, I'm kind of, can, some I can be stuck. So yeah, that sense of confidence and adding value of having enough to be able to afford the things that I'd love to do,

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think my struggles sometimes with with feeling emotions very strong young I'm super sensitive so I think I tend to avoid that so I think that feeling of can it be able to be truly connected with people without feeling completely

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you, to be able to share the things that I love to share with other people. Okay, let's go to security. What would having more security do for you? It would, it would help me to feel as if I could make different sorts of

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hope and and love and pleasure it helps me to experience pleasure in myself but also to give pleasure so I think yeah it's more to it's to do with not feeling with this feeling connected not feeling alone really feeling as if I am in a in

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choices. I suppose go towards, I supposed to take risks and the things that I want to do, the ways that I want to be, the things that I want to, to attempt. So I think a sense of a possibility and a confidence would be would come out of

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everybody can can thrive really can really experience themselves fully and joyfully and grow and and be in I suppose good question honestly I this I mean that there is no sort of a wonderful feeling when you are in that

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that security, but I would feel as if I, I would always have enough to do what I wants to do. Okay, so if you were able to be able to make those choices that you want to make and take those risks, what would that do for you?

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is able to fully realize themselves and and be curious and be playful and take risks without without without harm how's your state right now are you feeling oh little agitated a little bit sort of emotional actually yeah okay is it because we're talking about these

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Um, I think it would give me a feeling of independence. It would give me a sense of value. It would, I think it would give me a sense of integrity and authenticity really. I think I could feel as if I could take risks and sort of just be

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it was shifting before but it shifted even more when I asked that question the moments that she pauses that you're pausing and that lets me know that you're going much deeper that you're starting to tap into a lot of

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myself and express myself without worrying really what other people think. Okay, and if you had the independence, authenticity, and integrity, what would that do for you? I think it would allow me to, I think would, it allow me to

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started talking and which he was also doing early on is the stumps a lot of people when doing a value solicitation is you were jumping to the end a lot of times when I'd asked you a question you talked about confidence and purpose came

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experience happiness, and I think I would feel more peaceful. I would feel as if I didn't have to sort of strive quite so hard all the time. I think it would even give me a sense of a balance that I can work hard and then rest, and that that

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when you fulfill your values especially your highest ones you feel more purposeful and so when you're doing a value solicitation with someone a lot of times you will start getting those answers right at the beginning and people will write those down thinking that they're the values that they're

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there would not be a problem with that. Okay, what's important to you about happiness, about being happy? Um, I think one of the things is that when I am happy, I'm much nicer to be around. So I think that's to do with connection and

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sure how I was doing that you can always roll back the video and watch I'm not satisfied with those answers when somebody tells me fulfillment that soon or purpose that soon without giving me a bunch of other values I know we need to

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love more than anything, sort of material. It's really to do with the ability to be at peace with myself, with other people. So yeah, it's that connection. Okay, and what's important to you about being peaceful or at peace?

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with the answers they give you now if I kept going in this direction I think we've elicited plenty of values here to work with if I kept going with this she would probably end up back there again saying things like fulfillment in

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In my experience of life so far, when I am at peace, I'm able to contribute more, to be more, to be more fully myself, to be more fully present, and I guess relax. Okay, and so you've mentioned a connection

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her values as I'm asking what's more important about or what does this do for her she's now switching to instead of going up logical levels to higher values she's now telling me how she she experiences it she says with love it's just a feeling it's that feeling that I have so

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more than once. What's important about connection to you? Um, I think what's important about that is it often is to do with the connection with myself but also with other people. It's, it's a way of having a really feeling things. I

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what we call criteria and that's also very important just not for what we're our intention and purpose in this session so I'm just giving some instruction about what I'm looking for and how I'm filtering which she's giving me and I'm putting it all together so the next step now is to write out your

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think my struggles sometimes with feeling emotions very strong young, I'm super sensitive, so I think I tend to avoid that. So I think that feeling of, can it be able to be truly connected with people without feeling completely

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gives me right after the question I'm also listening to the words that she leans on when she says you know it's a value a lot of times by sort of emotional emphasis that a person will put on a word and like I said it

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overwhelmed by those emotions and why those relationships is something I'd love to do. So what does connection do for you when you have it? It gives me a kiss me, I suppose partly a feeling of not being alone. It gives me a feeling of

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them unless you practice practice listening for them but they will happen they're always there so now what I want to do is I want to rank her values I want to find out what is the hierarchy here what's most important to her and

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hope and love and pleasure. It helps me to experience pleasure in myself but also to give pleasure. So I think, yeah, it's more to, it's to do with not feeling, with this feeling connected, not feeling alone, really feeling as if I am in a, in

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independence okay and if you could only have one independence or authenticity which one would you take authenticity only have one authenticity or integrity which one would you take I find them so connected so there's opticians room is a left left eye and right eye it's um

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a network of people and that we can be in being support of each other without being in invasion of each other. Okay, and what's important to you about love? I think the thing about love is its, hmm, I think what's wonderful is when there is a real supportive love, then it

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authenticity for now and I pick up integrity and now I'm going down the list with integrity I'm sorry and that being said I lost my train of thought did you say happiness or integrity which one would you take integrity integrity

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everybody can thrive, really, can really experience themselves fully and joyfully and grow and be in, I suppose, good question. Honestly, this, I mean, that there is no sort of a wonderful feeling when you are in that

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cost the other so I think I'm just gonna stick with integrity okay integrity or love which one would you take ouch don't throw that one overboard let's go for love okay love or curiosity which one would you do

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loving state, a kind of meta which is sort of transcends any way of talking about. There's just a feeling of being, being present and everybody being present together with total acceptance, with total encouragement, and total sort of, yeah, that there's, there's no competition left. There's just everybody

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one that was well so understanding yes the last one standing so integrity or curiosity Oh tricky I suppose it depends on context slightly for me mmm oh this is good so and whenever that happens because we wanted we want to go back to the original context because your values

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is able to fully realize themselves and be curious and be playful and take risks without, without, without harm. How's your state right now? Are you feeling, oh, little agitated, a little bit sort of emotional actually? Yeah. Okay. Is it because we're talking about these

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started yeah so when you think about the context of a thriving business which more important integrity or curiosity uh integrity okay and nice cold but yeah yeah I'd have integrity and playfulness which one would you take integrity okay

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deeper things? Yeah, that can happen. So I want to point some things out for the viewers. So if you're an NLPer and you know how to calibrate people, you can notice that her skin tone just shifted when I asked that question.

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authenticity or connection which one would you take authenticity authenticity or curiosity which one would you take no with entities and authenticity and playfulness authenticity so we good got our top three and you always want to get it at least three I'm so over all the values I heard you say when I was

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It was shifting before, but it shifted even more when I asked that question. The moments that she pauses, that you're pausing, and that lets me know that you're going much deeper, that you're starting to tap into a lot of

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security or security beat out independence independence beat security so I thought okay so out of Independence and happiness which one would would you take happiness I think all right happiness and peacefulness which one would you take peacefulness okay peaceful peacefulness and connection

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unconscious thinking and feelings that you consciously probably don't, at least. And when we started this call, you weren't tapping into it. Doesn't mean that you've never known it. It just means that it wasn't there when, when we first

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I do this and a little bit later but um what's it it's really interesting to kind of pose myself these questions I'm looking forward to watching this again yeah it's out of curiosity and playfulness which one would you take

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started talking. And which he was also doing early on is the stumps a lot of people when doing a value elicitation is you were jumping to the end a lot of times. When I'd asked you a question, you talked about confidence and purpose came

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I think I'll go peaceful okay so we could keep going and figuring out the rest of these but for the sake of time in this demonstration we're going to go with the the top five the question though I mean those are values that I

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up a few times. And technically speaking, confidence and purpose are values. If you value that, and I don't know anyone who doesn't value it, but it's the end result of fulfilling your values. When you fulfill your values, you feel confident.

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weather this this person my kind of on my tombstone weather things I'd like to put on reset or if I'd like that to be you kind of does that make sense this sort of other things I aspire to you or things that I I know I am so it goes

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When you fulfill your values, especially your highest ones, you feel more purposeful. And so when you're doing a value elicitation with someone, a lot of times you will start getting those answers right at the beginning, and people will write those down thinking that they're the values.

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what do I spot you myself I mean I guess what other people think it means is in a way no you know there is forward where do I want to see situate myself in my own mind yeah so it's basically what do you value more down to that and and we

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don't want to complicate it any more than that because okay because when you are so bare with me and uh we'll get to some of that fun stuff that uh that will hopefully answer a lot of those questions again I can almost hear your

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mind running right now so let me Rio do these and what happens a lot of times to is to get more clear about this a lot of times we the way we feel about something is that a really high level values are is going to imply some of these

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underlying values right so if that's the case then that's that values on a higher logical level so it's sort of like this can you have peace without love or love without peace and so when you think about it like that you go okay well and

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and and the answers will vary from person to person there's no one right way so some people might think of it as well if I have peace then love is automatically there or and then it's a flip it they would say well no I know I

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know I can I can have love but that doesn't necessarily mean I'll experience peace at the same time and so that's when you know that love is on a lower logical level but you know if your highest value say like freedom for me is

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my highest value for me freedom encompasses security independence authenticity integrity you know and all those things so that's kind of what we're looking for and the reason we do it that way if we work from the highest value first and then we work down and I'm just going to make more sense in a

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moment once we work on that first highest value it's a much more efficient way to work because the lower level values start to transform automat or not the values themselves with the qualities and in you start to transform

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automatically because they're on a lower logical level and when you transform that highest value into a quality then it cascades down to the other ones so that's that's the importance of the order so you know when I'm working with

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clients for me I may I may work a little bit different than most coaches I don't have a very good business model for coaching me personally because I want to I don't want I want to see this person for as few sessions as possible I want

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to get them to what they want and who they want to become as quickly as possible and so that usually means that I don't normally spend more than maybe four to eight sessions with a client and and that's my goal now that doesn't mean

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that every coach should of should operate that way my the main part of my business is not coaching it's more teaching I do enjoy coaching but I don't want to do it full-time and so there are other coaches who who are more along the

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lines of the person needs to talk things out and you work out problems together I'm not like that I'm like I come kicking the door in and we're gonna get there as fast as we possibly can and that works really well for some people

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but that's not necessarily what everybody wants for example some people go to coaching form or nurture and that's a that's a wonderful thing and there are great coaches for that it's just not what I do so I like to work as

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fast and as efficiently as possible okay so let's I'm gonna read the order from your highest values to the least and you tell me if if it fits or doesn't fit if something seems out of place we can always move it you can always change

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it okay so at the top I have love integrity authenticity curiosity and peacefulness okay seems to fit it's fine yeah there are some dimensions sort of independence or freedom in there that don't seem to have quite good in there somehow but

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that's just the way I'm associating those in those feelings so that sounds that's great let's go with that let's do that so what I'm looking for here is are these values showing up as qualities of your identity and when I say that I don't mean that these you may or may not

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have these qualities it's more about what do you believe and it so it is very subjective but your belief about yourself will determine how much you experience these and that will determine fulfillment and purpose and all those wonderful things that we're wanting to get to eventually so with love it can go

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in two different ways it depends on how you you want how you value love and I'm sure you value it both ways so I'm gonna ask it in both in both ways so are you loving usually not always are you lovable usually not always so what that tells me

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is that's an ambiguous quality she's not certain about it she's done a hundred percent certain about it it's not like a quality that she you know feels it probably has a sense of coming and going not not being like part of you all the

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time with certainty right yeah okay are you a person of integrity easily and once again that's ambiguous are you authentic usually are you curious yeah okay so that's a very different response a certain quality she's certain about it are you peaceful

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usually so what we have here out of your top five highest values and we can make it we can say that it's also specific to the context of having a thriving business all of them are ambiguous except for one there's only one that is

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certain so what do you think what do you think how do you think this fits or doesn't how do you let me see if I can ask this question the right way what does that tell you if four out of the five of your highest values or you're experiencing as

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ambiguous it tells me I've got some what to do and this is mostly the case and in fact when people come to me for coaching it's very very rare in fact I can't even remember it ever being no it was one time one time somebody answered certainty with

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all of their highest values so if you're not if you're not feeling certain that all of your highest values are showing up as solid qualities of who you are this has a I mean this tells you everything this tells you why you're not

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experiencing the kind of fulfillment and confidence and purpose you want to fortunately that's what the self-concept model is all about it's about taking those qualities and installing them and not in a fake way like not in a way of

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like standing in front of a mirror and saying affirmations and saying over and over again I'm I'm loving I'm lovable I'm a person of integrity I'm authentic that doesn't work if you've ever tried it you know it doesn't work so where we

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would go from here is we would take something you are certain about your you're certain about being curious but there's also other qualities you might have that you're even more certain about and so I would poke around a little bit

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there and try to find what quality about you are you most certain about and then I would take that and model it and find out how exactly are you doing that how exactly is it you're so certain about this one particular quality and that it

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goes with you wherever you go you you maybe felt like you had that quality for your entire life and you have no concerns about going into the future and then losing that quality you know it's just part of you so then I would take

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that structure after I model it and then we would start looking into loving and lovable and experiences that you've had of being loving and lovable and we would take that raw data and then move it or map it across into this structure of

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certainty and it's the most amazing thing when you do that it suddenly feels extremely certain and it happens in a matter of moments there's no faking it here we're taking your actual experiences and the real real-life information your memories and future pacing projecting into the future

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of having these qualities and put in putting them into bed that database that is a solid structure for you the way that Steve Andria's originally taught this model was just by grabbing an equality that you value and I remember

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going to him and saying all right Steve like there's so many qualities that I value do you have any sort of methodology for picking a value and it's about picking a quality and he's like no just whatever you know it's like you're

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a kid in a candy store just running grabbing one and that was not satisfied with that answer and I always knew that value solicitation was a very powerful thing to do anytime I want something I always do a value solicitation on it and

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then it suddenly dawned on me well if I go straight to my highest values and then I take those and check within myself and am i experiencing my highest values as qualities solid qualities of Who I am you know what would happen in

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so I did it I checked in and I was I wasn't experiencing any of my highest qualities as any my highest values as solid qualities so as soon as I started transforming those my life has never been the same since because you know

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imagine for a moment that as certain as you are about being a curious person you would be just a certain about being a loving and lovable person what would that be like amazing yeah women's and then think about integrity and

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authenticity and being at peace and being so solid about all of those as qualities of who you are just as solid as you are about being a curious person imagine experiencing all of those at once how would that feel

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yeah and then coming from that if coming from that going after creating a thriving business when you're all of your qualities are certain and solid that you value most highly about having a thriving business now you go and go

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after that thriving business how much better do you think you would be able to do that considerably better I would say yeah definitely and you and you wouldn't give up like that's nothing what happens for most people they give up on what

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they're going after because they have a few failures or a few things don't work out and then they think well maybe I'm just not cut out for this maybe I'm not good enough maybe I don't have it in me you know all these things start coming

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up but if you're already experiencing what you value about that goal as a solid quality of who you are there's no quitting you just keep going because it's enjoyable along the way because you get to experience those those values as

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solid qualities along the way so anything anytime your behavior aligns with those values you're you're fulfilling your purpose you're fulfilling you know what's meaningful to you you become the person that you value because you are your highest values does that make sense

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yeah okay all right so that's really it for the value solicitation this is how I start every with anytime somebody comes to me for coaching this is where I start it's not exactly where we start and when I when you you join this the

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self-concept program because I want to I want to teach you how we do what we do and then once you understand that then you start listening your values and you start transforming your projects but first we start off with the modeling process we find you find out how you're doing what

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you're doing how you're creating the qualities that are certain so that we can then take any other quality that you want to transform and bring certain certainty to it all right I want to thank you so much for doing this demonstration with me you are a wonderful subject thank you very

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much indeed I've learnt a lot so that's what it values elicitation looks like i'll hope you got a lot out of this video and I hope you go back over it many times and really understand those questions that

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I'm asking her so that you can ask yourself these questions you can ask your clients these questions and that's whether that's a coaching client or a sales client and if you have any comments or any questions make sure you

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put them down below in the comments section I will respond to you and again if you want to experience this through a more automated process immediately go to the description below click that link and do that assessment and it'll put you

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through a very similar set of questions to elicit what you really want what area of life you want to get and what are your highest values around getting that as always remember to like and subscribe so that you can get these videos on a

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regular basis and if you think that this video would help someone that you know a friend or a family member make sure you share it with them take care

Topics:NLPvalues elicitationDamon CartLife Mastery Gymcoaching techniquespersonal developmentsales influenceclient motivationemotional statevalues assessment

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