Speaker A
All right, let's restart the game. I love that it's different each time as well. It really shows production value.
A humorous behind-the-scenes look at comedians playing 'Last One Laughing' with funny moments, banter, and challenges.
Key Takeaways
- Comedy thrives on spontaneity and the challenge of maintaining composure.
- Physical humor and personal stories add depth to comedic performances.
- The game format creates a unique environment for comedians to showcase diverse styles.
- Props, costumes, and playful interactions enhance audience engagement.
- Behind-the-scenes moments reveal the camaraderie and competitive nature of comedians.
What the video covers
- Comedians engage in a game where laughter is forbidden, showcasing their wit and humor under pressure.
- The transcript includes playful banter about accents, personal anecdotes, and comedic challenges.
- Participants perform jokers—special comedic acts—to try and break others' composure.
- The video highlights the difficulty of presenting and maintaining a straight face in comedic settings.
- There are moments of physical comedy, such as fighting a lizard and reacting to unexpected situations.
- Comedians use props and costumes to enhance their performances, including references to classic slapstick.
- The transcript captures spontaneous humor, including jokes about personal relationships and awkward moments.
- Interactions between comedians reveal camaraderie and competitive spirit.
- The show blends scripted and improvised comedy, emphasizing production value and entertainment.
- The video ends with a festive, humorous tone including singing and playful teasing.
Full Transcript — Download SRT & Markdown
Speaker A
Who's your favorite poet? Thank you for asking. I do very much like T.S. Eliot.
Speaker A
What about Peter Andre? Like him, too. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Mysterious girl, I want to get into you.
Speaker A
[laughter] Harriet hasn't read her letter from her ex-husband. Oh, yeah. My ex-husband wrote me a letter. Who should read it?
Speaker A
I'll read it. Should read. Oh, yeah. We should read it. Yeah. Read it out. Come on.
Speaker A
In any voice. It's Chinese, I thought. Who's Chinese? Your husband. He's... My husband is Chinese. It was very unfair of us to suggest that Rex was Chinese because if he were to do a Chinese accent, I don't think that's,
Speaker A
you know, politically correct and he shouldn't have done that. But we were being mean and trying to trap him in a corner of cancellation.
Speaker A
Harriet, it's over. Wow. For the love of God, please stop sending me nudes. And if you are going to send nudes, please, can they at least be of yourself?
Speaker A
[laughter] Where are you? You acquiring all strange accent. Habit's going to laugh. Where are you acquiring all these nudes of Alan Sugar? I've seen you outside my house at night at 4:00 a.m. in your underwear with the boom box.
Speaker A
[laughter] It must stop. If you play Nelly Furtado, Miss Belbelt, one more time, I'm calling the police and you need new underwear.
Speaker A
They're barely hanging on. And wow, we're here. Wow. Wow. Wow. Your nipples smell weird and it's metallic. And I always said no. But truthfully, they do. And I think you should get them looked at all best. I'm very, very sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so
Speaker A
sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. But Richard Nelly went there as well.
Speaker A
He was enjoying himself, wasn't he? Do you know it's hard doing presenting? Can you imagine doing presenting like look at the camera and go, "We'll see you at 7." What they do is they go tomorrow.
Speaker A
It's bloody hard. What do you do it on? I do the news and you look into the camera straight down the bottle. I'll see your ass at seven. Shit's getting real.
Speaker A
And you break the fourth wall and do it down the camera. Yeah. What kind of presenting are you?
Speaker A
You're doing news presenting where I would never break the wall. Wow. So news presenting but don't look at the camera.
Speaker A
Yeah. Yeah. I don't want to make it complicated. Like a convo. So the news program would be Bob, what's the news? And you'd go, "Seven people just died." And he go, "What?" Yeah.
Speaker A
Yeah. Some people died. How? How do they know? There would only there would only be me there presenting the news.
Speaker A
So So you'd be talking to Silka. So what happened early on today, you know?
Speaker A
Well, some people Seven people died like an act out. Yeah. Terrible car crash. Um, one person's ill in hospital, but not expected to survive.
Speaker A
And you just sort of make it more inner. Good night. See you. [laughter] Should we restart the game? Can I press it? Uh, yeah. Great.
Speaker A
I'm not impressed. Thank you. [laughter] Does anyone else want a coffee? I would love a coffee.
Speaker A
So, what did you say, Daisy? Please. Yeah, if that's all right. But the water can the water be absolutely like boiling hot possibly.
Speaker A
I wanted to make everyone a cup of tea coffee to find out who said please and thank you and then log it so that when I meet other comedians I can slap them off.
Speaker A
You can't laugh but it's a lovely life in there. Whereas in here this in Jimmy's Oh, we can't have a piss palace. You can't have a piss palace.
Speaker A
[laughter] I'm just going to stretch out my hands. Here we go. He's got like clown shoes on.
Speaker A
What? I'm right here like Crusty the Clown. Your feet aren't don't fill that shoe.
Speaker A
Yes, they do. What are you talking about? That toad's broken because I was fighting a lizard in Greece.
Speaker A
What do you mean? What happened? I was in [music] the room. I was just reading some Gerter. Look to the right.
Speaker A
Lizard comes in the door. How big? [sighs] That big. I give it one of those. Right.
Speaker A
Clock it. And it darts underneath the sofa. I'm in a primal state of fear. I leap off the sofa and I kick the sofa.
Speaker A
The hotel room is very cheap and that sofa's like a block and I have to style it out. I didn't want to go to A&E.
Speaker A
You didn't have to You didn't have to mention that you were reading Gerter. Yeah.
Speaker A
It helped. Do you know what I mean? That's exactly what I was saying. That's where he's trying to trip me up.
Speaker A
And as well the way you described that you did fight the lizard. You didn't really. The lizard didn't touch you. You kicked you kicked the sofa.
Speaker A
We skirmished. And the fact that we didn't engage [music] in a I find these words.
Speaker A
The fact that there wasn't contact does not mean it wasn't a fight. I was sneezed or coughed. I was really sick coughing and it just felt like my eye popped. [gasps] It felt like it just pushed out too
Speaker A
much. Yeah. Oh my God. I went to I went to the eye school. And what did they say?
Speaker A
They said, "Your eyes are just big." Uh uh. Uhhuh. [laughter] I think we need to see Judy play a Joker.
Speaker A
Hello. Oh, hi. Could you ask Judy to get ready for her Joker, please? Yeah. Gotcha. Okay.
Speaker A
Judy, it's um Joker time. Oh, Christ. Good luck, my darling. Oh, no. Actually, not no luck.
Speaker A
Cannot wait. Cannot wait. Now, Judy Love is someone that you don't want to look at too long if you don't want to laugh.
Speaker A
No, these are all contenders now. Everyone sort of got into their Yeah, they're incredible players, aren't they? All the [ __ ] people have gone [laughter] now. They're really No offense to all of you, but yeah, the [ __ ] ones are gone.
Speaker A
I mean, your [ __ ] ball just hit me on my shoulder. Okay, it's time for a joker. Um, Moshi, who do you want to see?
Speaker A
Harriet Comesley. Okay. Hello. Hi. Um, Bob, could Harriet go to the locker room and play her Joker? Would that be okay?
Speaker A
Yes, of course. Thank you, Jimmy. Harriet, could you go to your locker and throw your joker?
Speaker A
Oh God. Oh, where's apple? I need to cut an apple. [music] Judy, when the bell rings, it doesn't mean go to the fridge and get an apple.
Speaker A
It means go and sit down. I'm worried about what Harriet's going to do. And you think apple might help.
Speaker A
It does when it's in my mouth. When you were on, she put two massive things. She looked like Marlon Brando in, uh, Godfather.
Speaker A
It's the apple technique. Yeah, that should be outlawed. Check to the trade. That's a lot of laughs on that plate.
Speaker A
I'm hoping sometime it's the silly [music] things that can get you. Oh my God, she's tripping. [laughter] She's tripping.
Speaker A
Uh-oh. There's a fire in my pants. And for once, it's not the clap. [laughter] This is Lou's humor through and through as well. Lou's in trouble.
Speaker A
You're under arrest for being too sexy. [laughter] What if there's children watching? This is so erotic.
Speaker A
[laughter] Uh-oh. Girl, how many children have you got that you've got so many bare knickers on?
Speaker A
Not the shin. This music you very I go to strip clubs a lot. You never hear this.
Speaker A
No, it's a shame. [sighs] Harry came very close to me. And closeness is one of those things that [music] does tend to make you want to laugh.
Speaker A
Nice and clean. No wounds. Oh no. What's she doing? I haven't got a moment.
Speaker A
I think I might know what's happening. She's reloading her um [laughter] should we call it a lady cave? I don't know what to call it.
Speaker A
Oh, that's good. Oh, that's really good. Go on, Bob. Get up a rally. Try and get it back in.
Speaker A
[laughter] Try and get him back in. I mean, your [ __ ] ball just hit me on my shoulder when the ping pong ball started coming out. That was tough. Judy Love said ping pong [ __ ] shoulder ball.
Speaker A
I mean, it doesn't help. How did this show get [music] to this stage? You want to go? I'm going to go I'm going to go short.
Speaker A
It's a tight squeeze. If that hits him in the head, I'm gone. I've done my shoulder.
Speaker A
You did so well. Great. [applause] Wow. I mean, is that the first time you've seen?
Speaker A
Uh, second for me. Is it? It's first time I've seen her do it dressed.
Speaker A
Yes. Same. YEAH. [laughter] Holy infant [music and singing] so tender and mild. Sleep in heavenly peace.
Speaker A
Okay. I mean Richar
Speaker A
I've been worried sick. [laughter] What' I miss? [music] I I saw him smirk into the fridge.
Speaker A
Did you? How did you see me smirk into the fridge? What you saw through my back?
Speaker A
[laughter] He likes films and he likes old stuff. I'm here. Do you like carry on films?
Speaker A
Why have I suddenly mutated into a third person proposition? Does anyone have any Charlie Chaplan?
Speaker A
What are you doing? I don't I'm just I'm just stroking the chair. It's not right.
Speaker A
Could old-fashioned physical humor work? Oh gosh, that was so alarming. That was so alarming.
Speaker A
You know, could fashion good old slapstick. It's not old-fashioned. Oh, what was what? That's a performance area, I think.
Speaker A
Did it sort of get anywhere there? Because my next thing I was sort of gonna tie around there.
Speaker A
Don't for yourself Lou don't but for you also don't. It's a no. It's a no.
Speaker A
This is nice. Try and change the subject. It's nice. I always forget what to do. Go and sit down.
Speaker A
[music and bell] Can you go and sit down on the surface? I'm so sorry.
Speaker A
We've sent Joe back in to cause trouble. Oh, you got the rights to this song.
Speaker A
Stars. Is it Stars in the Eyes? I thought we killed him. Oh, no. Oh, no.
Speaker A
Yeah, I'm doing um Stars in Your Eyes, but uh you can't legally say it again.
Speaker A
Uh so, [sighs and gasps] hello and welcome to the show that has the most talented singers in the country.
Speaker A
And you don't have to dress up talent, but we do because we love dressing up.
Speaker A
So, who will our first star be? By day, he's a window fitter, but tonight he's going to fit through our window. Fit and ready for success. It's star guest number one.
Speaker A
I'm from Chinam near Bazing Stoke. My name is Gary Swale. I have a wife, Carol. She's a raw iron welder and I have two grown-up children. My eldest lives abroad and my youngest is currently employed by Nat West, which is
Speaker A
fine. I'm a part-time student studying art. When I left school, I went to be a window fitter.
Speaker A
I really love to do art for a living. I'd like to get a diploma in art.
Speaker A
Nearly finished. Just draw a tip. Okay. I've done hundreds of different jobs. Everything from being a window fitter's assistant to being a window fitter. But I'd love to just do my art. I'd work in any area of the arts or entertainment
Speaker A
except for tap dancing. He'll need a steady drawing hand to hold the microphone tonight. Please welcome Gary Swale.
Speaker A
Oh. Hi Gary. Hi Gary. I hear you do the pools. Yes. Every week. Cool. So tell us who you're going to be tonight Gary. Tonight, Matthew, I'm going to be Ollie Ms.
Speaker A
[laughter] Ollie MS. Of course you are. Tonight, singing live, it's Gary Swales as Ollie M.
Speaker A
[music] [laughter] Silent night. Holy [singing] night, all is calm, all is bright. Crown young virgin, mother and child, [laughter] holy infant so tender and mild.
Speaker A
Sleep in heavenly peace. [singing] Sleep in heavenly peace. M. Amen. In Jesus sandals. Congratulations Gary Swall as Ollie Ms.
Speaker A
I loved Joe Stars in the eyes performance because we've been surprised by so many people. We thought that Ollie Ms was genuinely going to come out and when that just tall guy came out with this we're really losing our minds at
Speaker A
this point. I think these guys are hardened. They feel like Rob something's happened to Rob.
Speaker A
Something's died inside him. Yeah. It feels like, you know, people have been to jail. They've got institutionalized.
Speaker A
Institutionalized. I didn't mind it. Yeah. [laughter] Hello. I'm expecting a hug. No. No. I don't think intimacy should be accelerated.
Speaker A
Who said it was going to be intimacy? You see where your mind took you? You better calm down.
Speaker A
All right. Time to meet our players. First one in, [music] it's Rob Beckett. One of my favorite comics. Rob hosts a very successful parenting podcast. Fun fact, he only does it so he can [music] get an hour off from the kids.
Speaker A
Oh. Here we go. Who would I hate to see in a house? My ex [laughter] locker room.
Speaker A
Is he allowed to smile now? Until we start the game. They're all allowed. He needed to get all his smiles out.
Speaker A
Someone needs to tell him. Okay. So, just wait here for a bit then. None of our comedians know who else is taking part. So, as they enter, they're finding out who they're up against.
Speaker A
Right. Time for our second player. It's Daisy May Cooper. Oh my god, she is so funny. [laughter] I am terrible at keeping a straight face. I'm just the worst. It's like asking a fish not to swim.
Speaker A
Oh, hello. Oh, my darling. How are you? Good. I'm good. Smile, can't we now?
Speaker A
Yeah, we're out right now. It's just when the game starts. Oh, I'm so glad you're here. Well, I'm not glad you're here, actually.
Speaker A
Okay. Well, you took that compliment back quick. Uh, there's a locker room for it to put your suitcase in, right? Okay.
Speaker A
I mean, I've literally been here for about 20 seconds, but I feel like I should show you around.
Speaker A
Okay. Next to go in, it's Richard Ayawadi. Comedian, [music] actor, writer, director. Richard is going to be the man to beat.
Speaker A
With regards keeping a straight face, um, I haven't, I think, laughed properly since the '9s.
Speaker A
[laughter] Oh, darling. Hello, mate. Thank you very much. Come here. You all right? Why?
Speaker A
What's this? Oh, that is lovely. I took flowers and I thought this is a way of keeping people at a distance.
Speaker A
I've noticed the young like to hug, which I view as an assault. How are you?
Speaker A
Good. You're all right? I'm all right. We were going to jump out on you, but I didn't.
Speaker A
That would have been hostile. All right. Next in, it's Sarah [music] Pasco. Oh my gosh. Oh, my darling.
Speaker A
Sarah is a brilliant comedian and a vegan, so she puts the funny in funny tummy.
Speaker A
This is exciting. Oh, fasco. I felt really emotional like I was going to burst into tears. Richard, hello.
Speaker A
She's a big laugher. She is a big laugher. Yeah, there's a locker room at the back for me to show you where that goes.
Speaker A
Thank you. Rob's showing around. I love it. He's gone into full dad mode. Okay, next. Ah, it's Joe Wilkinson.
Speaker A
I don't think I make any of my peers laugh. And I only know this because they inform me.
Speaker A
I've never seen him out of his brown suit. I didn't realize he had other shitty clothes.
Speaker A
Oh, it's Joe Wilkins. Oh, [ __ ] Yeah, this makes sense. I'm out first.
Speaker A
Not for me. Thank you. He's started already. He's doing business. Oh, this is a funny funny [music] lot.
Speaker A
Do I get a hug on Oh, that's lovely. Back off. [laughter] All right. Next in, it's Harriet [music] Kensley.
Speaker A
Brilliant up and coming comic. Oh, this is this is crazy. I still don't have a shorefire way of making people laugh. Ask the people of Middlesbrough.
Speaker A
Uh I did a gig there. If they are in the house, they would be really good at not laughing.
Speaker A
[cheering] Oh my goodness. Thank you so much. Thank you. Rob's really good at showing you where to put your case. Rob, you going to show me around?
Speaker A
I didn't want the luggage to pile up. And I basically got caught in that. I thought, you know what? In for a penny, in for a pound, I'm the locker guy.
Speaker A
There's a locker on this way. You give up. Okay. Oh, hang on. Rob's on it.
Speaker A
Are you good at not laughing? No, not really. But also my I smile a lot. The way my face falls.
Speaker A
That's That's mine as well. Like some people have very angry expressions, but mine's just like gorless.
Speaker A
I think I'm just going to try and get as depressed as possible. Just think I'm just going to think about the Me Too movement.
Speaker A
Okay, next we go in. It's Judy Love. Oh no. Standup comic Loose Woman. And also she appears on Loose Women. [laughter] This is nice.
Speaker A
Hello. [screaming] [cheering] I've always wanted to meet you in person. You still haven't. Oh my [laughter] gosh. How are you?
Speaker A
I'm so so Hello. I'm expecting a hug. No. No. I don't think intimacy should be accelerated.
Speaker A
Who said it was going to be intimacy? You see where your mind took you? You better calm down. [laughter] Let's see who's next. It's Joe Lyset.
Speaker A
Oh, what? He's a He's a BA [music] winner and host of Late Night Lys.
Speaker A
Incredible. I think I'm [ __ ] because I find things not being allowed to be funny really funny.
Speaker A
Hello, you bastards. [screaming] Oh dear. This is a problem. Hello. Oh gosh, you're going to kill me.
Speaker A
You're going to kill me. Next in, it's Lou Saunders. Yay. Lou has a spiritual guru, uses crystals, and is walking the wrong way.
Speaker A
It's the wrong way. The other way. The other way up. [laughter] I think that went well.
Speaker A
Just one. Thank you. Thank you. [laughter] Li is here. If people are being funny around me, I'm going to just close my eyes and think of my fertility report. Last in, lock up your nanas. It's legendary Bob Mortimer.
Speaker A
Wow. Everyone from our generation has been influenced by Bob. He's so funny. He's so brilliant.
Speaker A
Hi, folks. [laughter] Look at Wow. Oh, thank you. Thank you so much. The only thing I can think of guaranteed to get a laugh is one of these. You know, it's oldfashioned.
Speaker A
If you get your timing right, it can be devastating. You don't laugh so much seriously.
Speaker A
I don't laugh so much. But you were a problem as you know. [laughter] Wait, let's see if anyone else goes.
Speaker A
Hang on. Daisy's going. Daisy is about to go. [music] [bell] Lou, you've been a very active player so far. You've got a few people carded. So, as a reward, you get to go in the treat seat. Everyone else, there are some
Speaker A
treats on the table, and you've got 60 seconds to give Lou as many treats as you can.
Speaker A
Oh, no. Is there anything you like the look of? This is going to be a nightmare.
Speaker A
Okay, your minute starts now. Treat that seat. Here comes your treat, you bastard. [laughter] What would you like? Is there anything you'd like?
Speaker A
How does that feel, you bastard? I'll get the wind up. I'm thinking of my fertility report.
Speaker A
How was [music] it? No. Really bad. I've not ruined your look. [laughter] Do you like orange ice bowl?
Speaker A
Yeah. Are you um hungry? Oh, that's brave. That's That's brave for a man in the media to be doing that.
Speaker A
Yeah. Yeah. I'm going to hold it for you. There we go. a banana. The treats suit had erotic undertones and I didn't think I meant it to.
Speaker A
I'm actually having a lovely time. I was like, turn off the cameras and let the girl have a moment.
Speaker A
I'm having a lovely time now. I'm really leaning into it. I'm not hurting you, am I?
Speaker A
No. Bob's just hitting the sauce foot. [laughter] That's not in the tree tray. He's brought his own gear.
Speaker A
She did very well there. Well, that's the end of the treat seat. Lou hasn't [music] cracked. Could you go to the locker room and clean yourself up? You're a disgrace.
Speaker A
Thank you. Thank you. It won't turn off. I'm sorry. Oh, I know how to deal with that. I was just going to do it in the bathroom.
Speaker A
Everybody needs a massage gun. Everywhere sometime needs massaging. My ex-husband sent me a letter. I haven't opened it yet. Will you help?
Speaker A
We'll sit around the table and support Harriet. It's quite an emotional moment, I imagine.
Speaker A
Oh, what's in the envelope? Do you want to open it, Rob? Okay, you've got to stop using that.
Speaker A
You've got to take that off it. Is that your um happy face? All right. I'm just I've got a bad leg.
Speaker A
Bob, I've got a letter from my ex-husband. I haven't seen him, so it's He's written me a letter. Okay, Harriet.
Speaker A
Oh, Judy. [cheering] Judy. [laughter] Wait. Let's see if anyone else goes. Hang on. Daisy's going. Daisy is about to go. Casp. [laughter] [screaming] doors.
Speaker A
What happened? Do you know what? I don't even know. It's just so weird how I had no control.
Speaker A
I heard the crack which was like the chair and I think maybe I just thought I've sat on chairs and made that noise before and then his face was so like I just lost it.
Speaker A
What were you sat on? I was sitting on the vibe that the massage gun.
Speaker A
Mom's massage gun. [laughter] Why is it in your bed so draw? And then and then and then BOB CAME AND SAT DOWN next to me and I just lost it.
Speaker A
Great job, Jimmy. Well done. Great job. Really good job. I'm really proud of you.
Speaker A
Dicks. Really dicks. You're dicks. You're dick. You're all dicks and you know you're dicks.
Speaker A
Supporting you. It was good. It was really good, Jim. It's very good. It's different to how you've been before.
Speaker A
It was enjoyable. It was really enjoyable. There was like a different side of you in there.
Speaker A
What the [ __ ] is going on in this room? [laughter] It's like a whole other game going on.
Speaker A
I'm gone. I'm fully gone. [music] Oh no. I'll get it. Cheers. I'm not here.
Speaker A
Okay. And I mean that on all levels. Yellow. Uh, can I speak to uh Bob Mortimer, please?
Speaker A
Ben Wolmer. Bob Mortimer. Bob Mortimer. Bob Mortimer. Okay. I'll just get him for you.
Speaker A
Thanks. Uh, Bob, nice using oldfashioned phone. Hello. Oh, hi Bob. Maybe play your Joker now.
Speaker A
We'll do that, Jimmy. Thank you. Bob Mortima. He's got the most soulful eyes. And I just thought, "Oh my god, you're going to be like this deadly assassin cuz you're so sweet." And then absolutely completely annihilate me.
Speaker A
God, no. I'm going to sit somewhere else. It's not Bob, is it? This is going to be hell.
Speaker A
Disaster. Exactly. That's why I'm on the edge so I can move. Okay. Bob Mortimer to perform. Eight comics left in the game. And key thing, the only person I've ever seen make Richard laugh is Bob Mortimer. I think
Speaker A
this is going to be tricky for people. Oh, yeah. Oh, Lord. One prize, one gold, one golden glance.
Speaker A
of what should be [music] sunshine of life. [music] Oh, Joe, look at Joe. inside your mind. [music] It's challenging the doors of time away [music] [singing] [music] on Saturday.
Speaker A
[music] Is this the kind of magic? It's just magic. [laughter] This rage at last a thousand years will soon be done.
Speaker A
It's magic. I'm here. [music] That's good. I'm gone. I'm fully gone. Lo magic. This rain [music and singing] throw.
Speaker A
It's just magic. [laughter] Why won't you look at me? I'll do two songs if you're not careful.
Speaker A
Honestly, I will. I cannot wait for this song. Half of them don't even have a yellow card yet, so I'm going to I'll mix it up. I'll give them a task.
Speaker A
Okay. [bell] Hello everyone. The fruit machine is now available for inspiration. Can one of you pull the lever? And everyone have a go at what the machine prompts.
Speaker A
impersonate a player. Oh, very good. Very good. Very good. Okay, I'll impersonate Richard. I'm easy.
Speaker A
Somebody do here. I'll do I'll impersonate Richard. I'm easy. Don't touch me. Don't touch me.
Speaker A
That's really good. Too much emotion. The backwards walking's good. That's true. That he Yeah, I've got no more than that. Really?
Speaker A
I couldn't do the impressions cuz my face would relax and then I'd be out.
Speaker A
You going to do impressions of me? Yeah. How does Rob do Rob? No, I can do Rob goes a bit quick. He goes quick and he punches in. He jams. He jams in.
Speaker A
He's done you. Yeah. I ain't done a [ __ ] arena. He's done podcasts and stuff, but uh That's right. Keeping it real.
Speaker A
I ain't done arena. [laughter] [applause] She's bloody nailed it. No. Anyway, anyone up for a chat?
Speaker A
That's very good. That's very nice. I'm not blind. Why have you got your glasses then for, mate?
Speaker A
[laughter] Can I do a song for you, D? It's me. Yes. Yes. Yes. We want a song.
Speaker A
I'd brought along my song to sing. For some reason, by that time, I'd focused in on Daisy.
Speaker A
I don't really want a song. I I grew up watching Shooting Star. That was like my favorite TV show as a kid. His humor is guaranteed to make me laugh, and I don't stand a [ __ ] chance.
Speaker A
Yeah. Oh, don't I? Not at me. Would you like a song? She'd love a song.
Speaker A
I think you'd like the song, Daisy. You're thinking, why do I have to have the song?
Speaker A
Are you leaving the arena? No, I'm not leaving. I'm just standing. I swear I'm more comfortable stood up listening to it.
Speaker A
Well, I'll sit opposite you over there if you want. Can you Can every Can everyone listen to the song?
Speaker A
No, it's for you, Daisy. Oh, this isn't fair. Do you know what? [ __ ] it. Do it. Go on. Do your worst.
Speaker A
Will you listen to it or will you just Well, I just don't want to. I don't want to.
Speaker A
Well, now you're going. I know. She's stolen for time. Hey, Jess, have you never received a song before?
Speaker A
It's easy. You just listen. Uh Daisy, if you could go and sit opposite Bob and receive your song now.
Speaker A
Well, if you're going to be like that, I won't sing it with passion. [laughter] Do you want it with coffee or without coffee? Daisy, I don't know.
Speaker A
This is with coffee, right? What do you reckon? You're not answering me. I'll take that as a without coffee.
Speaker A
Without coffee, please. She took it without coffee, I think. And I was grateful cuz I didn't know the lyrics. Why won't you look at me?
Speaker A
I'll do two songs if you're not careful. Honestly, I will. I cannot wait for this song.
Speaker A
Slender people fit through gaps. And slender men look sweet in [ __ ] slacks. Slender ladies can kick you in the head. And slender people take up rest loom in bed. Raspberry jam is nice but it's full of bloody pips. Lemon curd
Speaker A
is tasty but put chinches on your hips. Pate spreads quite easily but it tastes cigarettes. Tomorrow I shall kill again this time in dungeoness. Yes, not bothered.
Speaker A
[laughter] Lovely. Wow. I mean that's torture. That's like being tortured. All right, Daisy, you've asked for it.
Speaker A
Lanky bastards are not bothered [music] by a fence, and lanky people are great at self-defense. Lanky fellas can pluck doggy bags from a tree, and longlegged lasses can adjust your aerial for free.
Speaker A
Low flat yogurt's healthy, but it tastes of willow bark. Feta cheese is cubable but [music] no tastier than quark.
Speaker A
Cottage cheese is flowable but then so is engine oil. Tomorrow I will kill again. This time in DONNAGAL so well.
Speaker A
Right. [ __ ] you Daisy. You'll have another [laughter] one. Traffic cops eat burgers [singing] in the cars and traffic coppers trousers get shiny on the ass. Traffic coppers don't have to wear a hat. So tell me Jeffrey Chauer what do you think of that
Speaker A
[laughter] are ponderous and often cheat at wist buds are chirpy but so often they are pissed and turkeys make a racket if you penetrate [music] their pen. Tomorrow I shall kill again, but I won't tell you where and when. Yes.
Speaker A
Really good. Really good. No, but don't do that for everyone else. No, no, no, no, no, no.
Speaker A
Cuz you doing that is not Christ. Size of that. There's more mouth. There's just more opportunity for it to move.
Speaker A
Um, well, good luck everyone. I'll start the game when I go through doors. Wow, look at that.
Speaker A
I want that kind of power. He looks like AI. Like he just walked. He does, doesn't he? Thunderbird, right?
Speaker A
I'm so excited. That walk didn't even seem real. Shall we? [laughter] Yes. All right. Okay. The game starts now.
Speaker A
Last one to laugh wins. That's it. We're in play. Should we go make a coffee? Tea.
Speaker A
I feel like I can't uh move my body. If everyone's going, I might stay still for a bit. [sighs] Should we talk about something incredibly mundane?
Speaker A
Yeah, your kitchen. Robert, that's just his teeth. We can't knock him out for that. That's just the shape of his face.
Speaker A
You got a kitchen island? I don't I think I need a moment. Yes, you got Well, that's a smirk. I don't mind a smirk.
Speaker A
Smirks are lubs for laughs. Smirks are lubs for laughs. Why is everyone walking around as well?
Speaker A
I think to get rid of energy or something. You know, [snorts] one thing that I do a lot to sort of um distract myself is sort of move. So, I'll just sort of I'll have to kind of pace or sort of do that thing with your
Speaker A
legs where you just kind of go like that. I just I'm trying to get energy, you know.
Speaker A
Well, don't do that. I'm going to try and exhaust myself. Are you exhausted yet?
Speaker A
No. I'm actually finding this incredibly easy. You like Bob? Yeah. Yeah. My friend has got a little sausage dog.
Speaker A
Bobby the sausage dog. I like sausage dogs with those tiny legs. Okay, I'm going to have to head off because I think it's really out of order, but I'm allergic to cats.
Speaker A
They started talking about sausage dogs and uh they're quite funny, aren't they? Bob mentioned the the little legs and I had to go.
Speaker A
It's You feel really rude though, don't you? Get him to get up and go.
Speaker A
Did you watch um Joe jog? Yeah, I've never seen him move like that. Difficult watch, isn't it? [laughter] Richard, what are your hobbies? What do you enjoy doing?
Speaker A
That's a kind question. Probably playing guitar. Now, I know what you're thinking. Could I become any more interesting? Do you have hobbies?
Speaker A
Not particularly. I used to play a lot of PS5. Okay. Have you ever played any of them?
Speaker A
I've never played a video game. Really? Yeah. Not even a Game Boy. No, cuz that's a video game.
Speaker A
Sega Mega Drive. A game. These are video games. Oh my goodness. So, what did you do growing up?
Speaker A
I don't know. I cried a lot. [laughter] That's not smiling. Look, I'm trying to hold my face down, but that's not Show me.
Speaker A
No, don't do that for everyone else. No, no, no, no, no, no. Cuz you doing that is not Christ.
Speaker A
Size of that. There's more mouth. There's just more opportunity for it to move. Door.
Speaker A
No. Is he [laughter] shouting door? That wasn't a voice recognition. I saw the laborers behind those doors that are part of Jimmy's team. They go with them everywhere. And I wanted to see whether they knew his particular hollowed out
Speaker A
voice or whether it would apply with anyone. Richard, don't. I just can't believe Richard can run.
Speaker A
I don't know. It just doesn't I'm picturing that jogging. I feel like his his body is only capable of sort of this.
Speaker A
It's the silence I can't deal with. If I keep talking, then maybe that will help.
Speaker A
It's the waiting for someone else to talk problem and proximity I find. So, I don't like this.
Speaker A
See, it's horrible, isn't it? Are you Are you dating at the minute? No. I feel like I'm in a era of like want to be single in power.
Speaker A
Have you been on Rya yet? No, I haven't been on Rya. And did you ever go on Rya? I did go on rare, but there were like like art department people on there.
Speaker A
Oh my god. I'd like to take this moment to apologize to our art department who have done a wonderful job.
Speaker A
That's the dream to get someone to the art department. I had nothing. Like absolutely nothing.
Speaker A
Dry. It's [ __ ] Joe Wilkinson, I've been watching you. You are the face of a cobbler's thumb.
Speaker A
You are the face of an abandoned pug. [laughter] Okay, Joe. There he covered his face to stifle a laugh. That's not allowed. I'm going to put him on the naughty step.
Speaker A
Okay. Foxes. [bell] Would you take it? Uh Joe, you covered your face during Bob's Joker, which is against the rules. Your punishment is to sit on the naughty step.
Speaker A
Now, I'm sure you know how a naughty step works. You sit on the step and everyone else will line up and whisper something naughty in your ear.
Speaker A
Oh, please take your punishment. Assume the position on the naughty step. When I got sent to the naughty step, my immediate thought is Jimmy's an absolute piece of [ __ ] Do I sit on the top bit or the lower
Speaker A
bit, Jimmy? Uh the top bit, you [ __ ] idiot. Thank you. Oh, that is better.
Speaker A
[laughter] Oh, I'm going to whisper something. Okay. Do you know where those electric pens are? Cuz I really want to use it in the toilet.
Speaker A
I could do with two of those to be honest with you. I'm a big Are you holding your nose? This is my breath smell.
Speaker A
Lovely breath. Thank [snorts] you. I'd have a lovelier time with my breath and the electric pen.
Speaker A
Mhm. You do. Thank you. Thank you. [laughter] Judy's tactic, I believe, on the Net was to insinuate that she wanted to take something that was uh vibrating and pop in her drawers.
Speaker A
Is that okay? You queuing up? Bloody hell. I've got to get in there. You won't be able to hear otherwise.
Speaker A
You're doing a really, really good job at showing off. Oh, you know, loads of good bits.
Speaker A
Joe Wilkinson, I've been watching you. You are the face of a cobbler's thumb. You are the face of an abandoned pug.
Speaker A
[laughter] But your humiliating grace does shine through us. Stick it out. Yeah. Shall I do mine?
Speaker A
Yeah. Come. this thing where sometimes when I blow my nose, something comes out of my eyes and I think that it's not, but I don't know if it's normal. And I asked the doctor and he said it's normal. But is
Speaker A
it normal? No. Oh, here we go. Lou's going to laugh at her own line.
Speaker A
Naughty toy. THE SAME. [laughter] YES, he's gone. He's gone. Hello, I'm Jimmy Carr and I'm announcing a new tour. It's called Jimmy Car Laughs Funny. And if you like me, it's the kind of thing you like. And if you don't like
Speaker A
me, then uh why are you watching this?
Topics:Last One LaughingJimmy Carrcomedystand-upimprovfunny momentscomediansgame showlaughter challengeBritish comedy
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