Speaker A
Welcome back, everyone. You're watching the second and final episode of my quest to cross England's most Tolkien-esque county using only footpaths.
GeoWizard continues his challenging trek across Shropshire, facing tough terrain, weather, and logistics while exploring medieval sites and rural villages.
Ask about this video. Answers come from its transcript only — with the timestamp, so you can check them.
Generated from the transcript and can be wrong — check the timestamp.
Key Takeaways
- Long-distance walking in rural England can be physically and mentally demanding due to terrain and weather.
- Preparation and adaptability are crucial, especially when unexpected issues like equipment failure arise.
- Local communities and viewer support can play a vital role in overcoming challenges during such adventures.
- Despite hardships, the experience offers unique moments of peace, beauty, and personal growth.
- Maintaining a positive mindset helps to push through exhaustion and setbacks.
What the video covers
- GeoWizard resumes his journey across Shropshire, England's most Tolkien-esque county, using only footpaths.
- He recounts a difficult night in a garden shed during a thunderstorm with little sleep and discomfort.
- The day involves navigating overgrown fields, tricky footpaths, and natural obstacles like stinging nettles and streams.
- He faces logistical challenges including running low on SD card storage and coordinating a meetup to get a replacement.
- The route includes visits to historic and medieval sites such as Stokesay Castle and several picturesque villages.
- Despite exhaustion and hunger, GeoWizard maintains a positive mindset and appreciation for the natural beauty around him.
- He encounters local farmers, navigates confusing footpaths near private properties, and deals with the unpredictability of rural travel.
- The video captures moments of solitude, wildlife, and the peaceful yet demanding nature of long-distance walking.
- He highlights the importance of perseverance and adaptability in overcoming physical and mental challenges on the trail.
- The episode ends with reflections on the journey’s hardships and the support from viewers and locals.
Chapters
- 00:00Introduction and Night in Stanton Lacy
- 01:46Setting Out and Early Challenges
- 03:43SD Card Issue and Viewer Support
- 05:27Navigating Confusing Footpaths
- 07:13Natural Obstacles and Positive Mindset
- 09:22Entering Culmington Village
- 10:54Hunger and Continuing the Journey
- 12:26Scenic Views and Forest Crossing
- 15:49Purchases and Route Progress
- 19:07Final Challenges and Taxi Ride
Full Transcript — Download SRT & Markdown
Speaker A
It's been just as beautiful, mystical, and peaceful as I was hoping it would be so far, but it's also been way harder, thanks to overgrown and blocked paths, searing heat, and a complete lack of food sources on my route.
Speaker A
You rejoin me in the garden shed of Stanton Lacy Village Hall, having been welcomed in by a gaggle of local farmers.
Speaker A
The shed was kindly offered as a last-minute refuge from an unexpected thunderstorm, but did it make for a good night's sleep?
Speaker A
Tell you what. Not the best night's sleep. Insane thunderstorms going on for hours. (thunder booms) Oh.
Speaker A
(thunder booms louder) Well, it wasn't just that. It was really hot in here as well.
Speaker A
I was sweating, and then obviously not the most comfortable, and there was the spider thing.
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Everything really. I'm not sure what time I fell asleep. Maybe like 2:00. I'd say I had, yeah, about three hours' sleep.
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Unfortunately for me though, I still had over half a county to walk across, so I popped my smelly socks back on, packed my things away, slotted my trusty bed back into place, brushed my teeth at the tap, filled up my bottle,
Speaker A
and prepared myself for another day of medieval-style adventure. Time to go. And one thing I do have...
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is my breakfast. Farewell, Stanton Lacy Village Hall. You have served me well. However, this is gonna be really grim, potentially.
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The grass is gonna be soaking for a good few hours. I'm trespassing right away.
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I need to get back to the track, first of all, and that's sort of in two fields' time over there.
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And yeah, if it's just anything like yesterday, you know, cows and (beep) brambles and stinging nettles, improvisation and slowness, it's just gonna be time-consuming and tough, and as I will explain shortly, I need to be at a place called Stokesay Castle at half 10.
Speaker A
Already though, the view over there. Hazy patchwork. Rolling hills is perking me up, I've gotta say.
Speaker A
Oh god. Picked a shit way here. Oh, (beep) hell. (Tom laughs) The streams this morning weren't anywhere near as bulging as I thought they'd be, but the wobbly fences were doing their best to balance that out, as I slowly but surely made my way back to the trail,
Speaker A
where I made my least medieval speech of the trip so far. So, today's aim, well, this morning's aim, rather.
Speaker A
Today's aim is to get to Wales, hopefully, but this morning's aim is equally as important, really, because, and I didn't mention this yesterday because I didn't think I needed to, but basically at some point during the day yesterday,
Speaker A
I realised that I had no spare SD card. I thought there was one in this little case.
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There wasn't, so that's a blunder from me, and at that point, I had about three hours of footage left on this one, and that was not enough for one and a half days.
Speaker A
I needed more, so I used it quite sparingly yesterday with a view to do a shout-out, seeing if anyone could come and meet me today with an SD card, and quite a few of you got in touch, which is really reassuring to know,
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but ultimately, a chap called James lived the closest, and all being well, I'll be meeting him at a place called Stokesay Castle near Craven Arms at 10:30.
Speaker A
Now, it's about eight or nine miles away, so it's a bit of a jaunt, but yeah, I've got to make sure I get there for half 10.
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I've got about four and a half hours, so should be all right, that was about yesterday's pace, but as I say, it could be very fieldy, overgrown, and tricky.
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Yeah, there is jeopardy this morning, but I'm feeling good. My legs are feeling surprisingly strong, actually.
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You (beep) (beep) Oh, I've just realised this is where I wanted to camp, isn't it?
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To be fair, it is really nice and it would be great to camp in, just not in the weather that we had last night.
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This broad, beechy wood led me down into a truly RuneScape-esque chain of patchwork fields, hazily illuminated by the morning sun.
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Nestled at the bottom of these at the head of a wooded dell was a lovely cottage, but it was here that I became quite confused again by the footpaths.
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(beep) sake, it's saying I'm down here now. What is going on there, man? Oh, maybe I can cut through here.
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What the beep? I am a bit confused to say the least. That’s probably someone’s garden, isn’t it?
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And it got weirder. Oh shit. What's this? Archery. Is that someone's house? Could be, couldn't it?
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God. Keen not to alert any residents or their dogs of my presence, I slipped away silently, and to my delight, popped out at the stream again, but this time next to a track.
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Oh, look at that. Oh (beep). What's that thing I just snuck past? And that's me when I'm trying to stick to the paths.
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The dew in this next field really did wake me up. And I'm drenched. But I didn't care.
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The paths were spacious and the landscape was flat but wonderfully charming. (geese squawk) And best of all, I had it all to myself.
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There's nothing quite like the feeling of that early morning embarkment from your camp or place of sleep, especially when it's an uncomfortable one like it was, and just having the world to yourself.
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Having those first rays warm the back of your neck. That first birdsong of the day.
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I feel naturally high right now. I don't know. I don't quite know why, but all I've got is good feelings, good thoughts.
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Almost childlike feelings. Feelings of opportunity and positivity. I don't know. This is the way to live.
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A few fields later, a big patch of stingers and the murky river that they guarded did their best to slow me down.
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I could cross there, couldn't I? God, I don't wanna fall in this. Shit. Nearly went in.
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God, that is really deep there. Oh my god, so deep. Okay, that's sweet. But the grass beyond was green and luscious and my spirit seemingly unshakeable.
Speaker A
We'll try again, shall we? Oh, yes, this is really favorable. I've got to say, actually, compared to how I was feeling at one point yesterday, just tired, hot, scratched up, and a little bit pessimistic about my chances of actually completing this mission,
Speaker A
I'm feeling the opposite this morning. I'm feeling really up for it, despite the terrible sleep.
Speaker A
Just goes to show, doesn't it? Hang in there. That mindset will pass, hopefully. This one will probably pass soon enough.
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I need assistance from any car that comes past, any vehicle. But you just gotta keep pushing on.
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I don't trust these things. Oh my god, that's really rotten. I can hear that creaking putting my weight on here, and I can't open that 'cause of all the stingers.
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(Tom huffs) Keep pushing on. Path's gone. Keep pushing on. We've got our first village of the day coming up, I think, and you just know it's gonna be lovely.
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In fact, look at that. Is that the church steeple? That's mad. Let's check it out.
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Look at this. (birds chirp) (sheep bleats) I can only assume I'm entering this village and exiting it via a footpath, and that there are no shops or anything like that.
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Otherwise, I would've seen one on the map, and that's a bit gutting 'cause already my stomach is starting to rumble.
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Those presumptions were correct, but nonetheless, houses meant people, and people meant conversation and potentially water and food.
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Yeah, stunning village. Culmington. Am I going up here? Yeah, I'm going up there. Oh, that is just delightful.
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Look at this old track that leads up here. As lovely as this village was though, I'd simply passed through it at the wrong hour, and it was reluctantly over the road and back into the fields where yesterday's antics quickly crept back in,
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first via an unnecessary stream crossing, having entered the wrong field, and then via a path that apparently went this way.
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I'll have to go around. Thankfully I was able to link back up with the route at this lovely little lake.
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But there was a bigger problem. Well, I am starving, (laughs) and it's only about 8:00.
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I've got two and a half hours till I get to the castle, where hopefully that cafe is open.
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If not, I genuinely, might be mission o
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But yeah, really hungry. Wish I'd have just taken a couple more packets of crisps, like AJ suggested, but I just didn't want to take the piss 'cause they were free.
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I would've paid for 'em. If I could've paid for 'em, I would've got a load.
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I just didn't wanna take a load for free, so it's one of them. They were too kind in a way.
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You never know, maybe we'll find something, some eggs or something along the way. Half a mile later, a junction of country lanes with a rare property entrance reminded me how unlikely that probably was.
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See, this is one of the brief moments where I'm sort of on a road, on the edge of it.
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We've even got a house here, making it possible for an egg box to be there, but there isn't one.
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But it's just so rare that I'm even on a road that, yeah, it's just not gonna happen for me.
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Another half a mile on, my hopes spiked again as I approached a terracotta-roofed farm.
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There was no one in the farm, of course, and when I did see my first person of the day, an old lady ambling her way up the adjacent road, she seemed to be in a different reality all together.
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Didn't even see me. Ridiculous. These genetically superior stinging nettles led me up to another nice fieldside track, where the portion of my brain dedicated to hunger wrestled with itself over these potato plants and this carcass.
Speaker A
Mm tempting. But I plowed on, distracted by more unbelievably picturesque views of the sweeping valley I just traversed, and another remote farmstead, and before I knew it, I'd reached a forest with a distinct amount of sky along the one side of it.
Speaker A
I think we're quite close to Stokesay Castle. We've come up onto the top of a massive hill, a wooded brow of a hill, and I imagine the view just beyond those trees there is gonna be not only breathtaking scenery-wise,
Speaker A
but I think we'll see the castle. Am I cutting through here or is this a path?
Speaker A
Anyway, here's the view. Oh my god. Oh my god. What? The (beep)? I can't.
Speaker A
I can't go down there, man. Don't say this is a shortcut I've had for myself, you friggin idiot, Tom.
Speaker A
A cliff. Good going. There's something here, some sort of gully, but that's not a path.
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More like a stream, but can I get down that? I've got to get down basically, one way or another, and yeah, this might be doable.
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We're gonna have to take our time here and be steady. The good news is I've got bags of time.
Speaker A
and this does look doable. Shit. Yeah, literal cliffs. Right. That wasn't too bad in the end.
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It was steep woodland for a bit, then it got ferny, then it got brambly.
Speaker A
I wasn't expecting quite such a straight line mission, Oh, if only Ben was here.
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Is that chicken of the woods? Maybe it is, maybe it isn't. I think it is, but I'll be damned if I'm trying it now.
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Right. This is one of the larger of my shortcuts. I've got to get across three fields, I think, and potentially cross quite a big river, and we should sneakily pop out in the grounds of the castle, Wow, look at this view, man.
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(sheep bleats) There's the castle. Wow, that looks incredible. Castle walls beckoning me on, I skipped down my first field with no issues, and over this gate, I could see a good entry into the next.
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Yeah, that looks doable. Nothing to grab onto. Gonna have to go for it. Oh yes.
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Now, over this meadow. No farmers. No crops either. I would run, but I am seriously weak.
Speaker A
Really weak and hungry, so I am strolling it, mate. The fields led me onto a strange strip of forgotten tarmac, and this led me straight to the main obstacle.
Speaker A
Ooh. Oh, I'm under the bridge. Right. Oh god. (laughs) Let's see what happens if I cross the road.
Speaker A
That looks pretty doable. (beep) it, my feet are already wet, as I say, so I can cross this bit.
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Oh, that's deep. Hello. I wasn't looking where I was going then. That's gone up to there, but never mind.
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Now, what about this side? I'm on a little island at the moment. Oh, I'm through.
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Very old wall and it's precariously overhanging. I don't wanna be the one to send it tumbling into whatever river this is, but we're up, and now it's just a dash for the castle grounds, and I've just noticed someone over there,
Speaker A
sun bathing. I'm running. Oh god, I can't run. I'm so weak. Okay, just this bit now.
Speaker A
I don't suppose anyone's ever entered the castle from this angle. Not for a few hundred years at least.
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Right, that's a cemetery. Ah, you (beep). Sorry. 'Kay, we're in a church ground, then we've got an incredible yellow Tudor-looking building, and then an even more incredible castle.
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Wow, look at that. That is amazing. The castle wasn't open to visitors yet, so underwhelmingly, I had to go around it rather than through it like I'd imagined.
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All I really cared about now though was my feast, and it seemed the cafe was open.
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Oh my god. - [Tom] Hello. - [Café worker] Hi. - [Tom] Are you open? - [Café worker] No, not till 10 o'clock, I'm afraid.
Speaker A
- [Tom] Not until 10:00. - [Café worker] Sorry. - [Tom] No problem. - [Café worker] Okay?
Speaker A
- [Tom] Thanks anyway. - [Café worker] No problem. So, I was forced to sit and wait for another 25 minutes, which, to be honest, didn't feel terrible, and also gave me a chance to check for ticks and squeeze some of the juice out of my socks.
Speaker A
Fast forward a few stomach-rumbling minutes and I'd made my purchases. (Tom laughs) This is what I've got so far.
Speaker A
Bad news is it's pretty extortionate, but I don't really care right now. It's not exactly a medieval feast, (laughs) is it?
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The kind of one you would've got at the castle years ago, but I will take it all day long.
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The only annoying thing is they're not doing sandwiches or anything like that till 12:00, so I've just got to eat scones.
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I'm probably gonna have two or three scones, which is the most English thing imaginable.
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Oh yes. Get that jam on there, mate. I don't usually have a crazy amount of jam, but I do today.
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That is ridiculous. And then right on schedule, the man of the hour showed up.
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- [Tom] James. - [James] How you doing, all right? - [Tom] How you doing, man?
Speaker A
I didn't film our rendezvous, but James was just as lovely a bloke as you'd expect, and he had well and truly saved the mission.
Speaker A
Thank you, James. After he'd gone, I purchased as many items of food as I could justify paying their extortionate prices for and shoved them in my bag, downed a load of free water, and squeezed myself through a hole in a hedge
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straight onto my route. Retreat retreat! Oh my god, are you okay? (sheep bleats) You okay?
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(sheep bleats) What's up? Oh injured. You need to get in the shade, don't you?
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Is she all right? Uh, you'll be all right. And what the (beep) are you lot doing in here now?
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You're gonna freak out now, aren't you? Go that way. Go that way. This way.
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I’d traveled a not-insignificant eight miles this morning, but the Welsh border was still a hefty 18 miles away.
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It was definitely possible to make it there today like planned, but due to the remoteness of the end point, getting back to my car might be pretty tricky, especially if the hour was late.
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A medieval journeyman would not be worrying himself over late-night taxi rides though. He would be in the moment, taking in these ever-blossoming surroundings.
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Crossing the road that passes from Ludlow to Shrewsbury, a.k.a. the A49, had put me into the heart of the Shropshire Hills.
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This place is a hiker's heaven, except when you need to leave the path. There's a guy looking at me from that doorway.
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What do I do here? Where's my way out? Ah, there it is. A loose barking dog had me running through the next farmyard, no eggs to be had there, but once over this railway track, and for once on a crossing,
Speaker A
the gradient increased again and the wonder returned. ♪ Steeleye Span - Fisherman's Wife ♪ ♪ Steeleye Span - Fisherman's Wife ♪ ♪ Steeleye Span - Fisherman's Wife ♪ That's one of the nicest properties I've ever seen, without a shadow of a doubt.
Speaker A
This whole section has just been an absolute joy, to be honest. I hope we're not going up that though.
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Unfortunately though, we were, and that started with a little shortcut. Oh. Up there, is it?
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Come on then. (Tom grunts) How many barbed wire fences have I climbed in my life?
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I might have to work it out one day, but I think it's in the tens of thousands.
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That's us. Gates. Quite a few gates too. (laughs) And then quite a big one.
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Okay. We've got another checkpoint here, a waypoint, and I happen to remember what this one was.
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It was a shortcut that shaved off that big U shape. I think it's right up a hill, but as exhausting as that will be, I think it's worth shaving off all that distance.
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Let's just hope it's not too tricky. Reason number 47 for taking long strolls in the countryside is that every now and then, you come across an animal in distress who you can rescue.
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Sometimes it's a bird tangled up in some plastic, or sometimes it's a lamb stuck down a cattle grid.
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I came across this one the previous month whilst filming a Patreon/YouTube members vid, and I had been wondering if I was gonna come across another one on this trip, what with it being lambing season and all.
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Halfway up this grueling hill, it looked like I had an answer. Ah, don't tell me you're stuck.
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You're stuck, aren't you? (beep) sake, okay. At least it gives me a break. See if I can get this one out.
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You're all right. Okay. Okay, your wool's caught. What is going on with your wool?
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All his wool has just become so tangled. Okay, try that now. Get your head under there.
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Yeah. Yes under. (Tom grunts) Come on. There. (Tom huffs) Just call me the sheep whisperer.
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Glad I took this shortcut. A couple of packets of Demerara sugar swiped from the castle cafe helped me up the upper reaches of the hill, but guarding its summit was a slightly territorial bird of prey.
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George Cuckoo, please identify this bird of prey. - [George Cuckoo] Hmm. Well, Tom, I can confirm that was, in fact, a buzzard, one of our most common birds of prey we get here in the UK.
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Buteo buteo is its Latin name. It's in the family accipitridae, which includes your hawks and your eagles.
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(buzzard squawks) - [Tom] Is it attacking me? I think it might be attacking me.
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I'm not gonna steal your eggs, bab. More aggressive than a whetstone field hawk, George, am I right?
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- [George] Don't even get me started on the whetstone field hawks. Eagles for life!
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And we are back on the path and extremely hot. ♪ Amynedd - Merrily Boats ♪ Oh beautiful.
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♪ Amynedd - Merrily Boats ♪ May as well. I think for the first time, I've realised that time is getting away from me a bit.
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Oh deer. And then getting back to my car is looking up in the air, so if I can run on a nice, steady, flat downhill like this, I will.
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At least until my watch sends me off into some random fields. Oh, what the (beep) are we heading into here though?
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Why is it telling me to go in here? (beep) wobbler as well. And a wobbly branch.
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(Tom grunts) There better be a path up here. Turns out I'd made another shortcut to avoid the village of Kempton and forgot to label it, causing much confusion as I reached this track, only to walk straight over it towards a main road.
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Yeah, I think this is a shortcut. I think it's safe to say the answer to the question, can you cross Shropshire entirely on footpaths, is no, because not only am I taking loads of shortcuts, but I've also had to improvise
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when the paths have been overgrown, haven't I, so it's a no, but in terms of the no roads mission aspect, doi, it's still alive.
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A superbly kept farmstead led me onto an atrociously kept footpath. (Tom grunts) Tractor over there as well.
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Mate, I'm going on your crops, 'cause that's ridiculous. And when lovely farm tracks did reappear, there was a slight blockage.
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(beep) sake, this is all I need. Come on! Can you move back? Move back!
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Go! Get up! Get up! Go up! Get! Get! Sorry, I'm waving my arm about.
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Doesn't help you. The point is they moved. From cow gate, the path began to climb gradually up into another forest, and it was here that I first started to flag a bit, but it was nothing that a peach iced tea
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and a Babybel couldn't solve. When the hill did peter out, its true beauty revealed itself.
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Not long after passing this lovely cottage though, my route disappeared into the bushes again.
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Oh, there better be a path here. Ahh. Oh, but this is the wrong way.
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Of course. Of course it is. Triggering another 10 minutes of chaotic improvisation. That ended with a cheeky field dash, observed by an old man and his dog.
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(dog barks) How you doing? Hi. - [Old man] Cooler today. - [Tom] Oh, it doesn't feel it, but yeah, it is a bit, yeah.
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- [Old man] You found our stile then have you? - [Tom] I've had to do a little shortcut there because I went wrong.
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How far do you reckon to Clun now? - [Old man] Clun's about an hour, 50 minutes.
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- [Tom] So, how many miles would you say? - About three. - Three. Okay okay.
Speaker A
Okay, that's useful. Three hours to, three miles to Clun. I'm as bad as him.
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That is very mana- maginabl- (tuts) Fuck this. 3PM for Clun and a 5PM finish was now my aim.
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And the next half a mile of paths happened to be irresistible to a rural jogger like myself.
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Time once again became incidental though, as they led me down into one of the cosiest valleys I’ve ever seen and up and over to my next set of views.
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Look at this place, man. It gets more and more beautiful with each hill I crest, and is that the village of Clun?
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I hope it is. The village of Clun looks to be one of Shropshire's hidden gems and it was somewhere I really wanted to try and incorporate into the route somehow, partly so I could finally go to a pub.
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Unfortunately, it was a bit too fiddly and trespassy for a visit, even if I did have more time to spare, and to be honest, there was still a fair bit of sneaking to be done anyway to actually get past it.
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I really couldn't be bothered with any more shortcuts, but this incredible ancient holloway did a great job, along with this pricey pastry, of distracting me as it delivered me down to them.
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I need to cut across three or four fields and a youth hostel as well, as if I haven't taken the mick out of them enough already.
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Let's see if this all goes to plan. Oh great. The most unwelcoming sign of the entire mission.
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Is that it? I hope so 'cause I'm about to walk into it. Yeah, fire assembly point.
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Surely. Doesn't look in use, you know. I think it might be closed. That's a shame.
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One diagonal road crossing and a few bushy footpaths later, my penultimate shortcut of the day, but had my luck finally run out with the farmers?
Speaker A
Shit! Guy in a bloody JCB, farmer, no doubt, and then another car. Two fields and then a river, I think, and then I'm done.
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(beep) it, I'm just gonna go. He ain't gonna come all the way over here, is he?
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Surely not. Nice and brisk. Might as well jog. I'm doing an ultra, mate. Okay.
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Not sure if he's seen me. Not sure if he cares. Now, is there a river here after all?
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It's a stream, I can hear it, but it doesn't look wide. This'll be fine.
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This is where I'll do it. Oh, got a right mind to bloody park my body in that stream.
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Oh, I'm going. (grunts) Okay. Right, this is the home stretch now. Just seven miles, I think.
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Seven or eight miles. It's all just about getting there now, getting to the border, soaking it up, and then somehow getting back to that car.
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♪ Old School RuneScape - Garden ♪ I was now on the Shropshire Way, heading into some of the more rugged and sparsely populated hills that straddle the Welsh border, and I could both see and feel the change in gradient.
Speaker A
The hills are really hurting. Oceans of buttercups topped rolling hillcrests against backdrops to die for, but each climb was proving more and more painful.
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What is that? Three miles since leaving Clun, a rare farm offered a chance to cure my latest bout of thirst, but then I realised that I actually had to sneak through one of their most central fields to avoid this road for the very last shortcut of the day.
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A shin full of thistles later, and my water tank was as empty as this Citroen Saxo's.
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Gone. All gone. This is probably a good time to mention my options for getting back to my car that evening.
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The first option was to walk or hitchhike back to Clun down this road and see if I could taxi my way over to Craven Arms, then Ludlow, and then the car.
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Taxis can be notoriously patchy and unreliable out in the sticks though, as I'd learned, so the more favorable option was to walk or hitchhike over to a town called Bishop's Castle along this road, get the bus to Shrewsbury,
Speaker A
where taxis and Ubers operate a lot more frequently, and hopefully get one straight to the car from there.
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I needed to get a move on if I was to make any of this work, but that was also looking pretty improbable.
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Ah, that (beep) burns. It was no doubt a combination of the heat, lack of food and water, and maybe a bit of lack of fitness, but I was starting to burn out, not to mention rash up, ooh god.
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and on the next big hill, with just 2.3 miles to go, I hit a wall.
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Got to sit down a minute. (Tom huffs) Ah, I've overdone it. (laughs) Just remembered something though.
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Apple. Can't even say it. Apple. That forgotten apple, despite working out at about a penny per cell, helped me no end, and I was able to eke my way up the hill, hoping that it was the last.
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I was actually now on the famous historic Offa's Dyke Path, but unfortunately for me, it was not one of the flatter sections.
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I'm just gonna have a very quick look at this chapel to see if they've got a water tap.
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It's a beautiful old thing. Lovely old yew tree. No. No, it's not used enough, is it?
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Just want it to be over now. Looks like about 2.5k to go. Mile and a half.
Speaker A
Mile and a half. Come on, you can do it, Tom, even if it is ridiculously steep!
Speaker A
And sure enough, that steepness almost finished me off. (Tom huffs) Shit. I honestly thought I might collapse here, fail the mission, and have to call for help in humiliating fashion, but I managed to find a second wind, which slowly got me to the top of this hill.
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From here, I was rewarded with a good half a mile of ridge, allowing me to actually move and just about acknowledge its historic significance.
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Oh yeah. Ancient border between Wales and England. Manmade, King Offa, Da da da da.
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Up ahead though, it became clear that there would be one more giant hill to climb.
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(beep), at least there's a river down there. I can at least drink some water.
Speaker A
Ah, you're joking! You're (beep) joking me. Forget it. The riverbed's bastard dry and we've got another big climb now.
Speaker A
I despair, I absolutely despair, but it's one final push. This has become something totally different now to what it started out as.
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My goal now is just to get to the top of this without collapsing, and then probably getting some help.
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No, I've got to stop. I've got one flapjack left. I'm gonna have to have it.
Speaker A
(Tom huffs) Oh, I might not get home today now. Thought I was quite well-hydrated, but it just creeps up on you, doesn't it, when you're sweating this much.
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One slow but almighty flapjack-fueled push later, the hill somehow was cresting. Hill's evened out.
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Nice breeze. 300 meters. This is gonna be one of the most satisfying endings I've ever had, honestly.
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I almost feel weak with euphoria at just the idea of ending, or maybe it's just weak.
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200 meters, and I'm on a ridge, a glorious ridge. ♪ Ridge, glorious ridge ♪ Oh, now I'm just thinking about custard.
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There it is. There's the end. There's the gate. 100 yards away, man. That's the border of Wales.
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Except when I got there, it didn't really look like it. Wait, what the (beep) is this?
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Is this it? I thought... Thought I was ending on a road. I looked at the map.
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Is it over there? Yeah. Oh my god, I can see some tarmac. Oh, thank god. I shat myself then.
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I need a road, man. I need assistance from any car that comes past. Any vehicle.
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Here we go. One final gate, just for good luck. Oh. Ah yes. Don't come yet though.
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Mwah. I've never kissed a border before, have I? Never ended at a border, actually.
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There we go. That's Wales. Whatever. Salty. I've done it. I've done it. Thank god. That is just pure relief.
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I'm chuffed. What can I say? Oh, (beep) it, I'll narrate my thoughts afterwards. This way.
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Just need a vehicle to come now and I am literally stopping it. As happy as I was to have completed my objective and have two feet firmly on flapjack, (laughs) tarmac, sorry, I was now in the absolute middle of nowhere,
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miles from my target town of Bishop's Castle, and genuinely not sure if I was able to walk there without collapsing.
Speaker A
On top of that, there didn't seem to be a car within a four-mile radius.
Speaker A
Ah, there's no cars up here, man. But who needs a car when you've got a holiday cottage?
Speaker A
(dog barks) Hi. So sorry to, sorry to bother you. (Lady trying to calm down dog) I think I'm overheating a bit, dehydrated.
Speaker A
- [Lady] You want some water? - [Tom] I don't suppose you have, yeah. Could I fill up my bottle?
Speaker A
- [Lady] Yeah, of course you can. - [Tom] Sorry. I'm usually more prepared than this.
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(Lady trys to calm down dog) - [Lady] Do you want some lime in it or anything?
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- [Tom] Go on then, yeah. - [Lady] A slice of lime. - [Tom] Bit of sugar.
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- [Tom] Yeah, why not? - [Lady] Ice? Do you want ice? - [Tom] Err...
Speaker A
Maybe one cube. - [Lady] One cube. - [Tom] (laughs) Yeah, sorry. Yeah cheers. Oh god, thank god for that.
Speaker A
And it got better. - [Tom] Thanks. - [Lady] Do you want some chocolate? - [Tom] Oh, thank you.
Speaker A
Oh, go on then. To be honest, yeah, that would be amazing, yeah. If you've got some spare. - [Lady] Yeah, that's fine.
Speaker A
- [Tom] Thank you. Appreciate it. Thanks for the water and the choc. Bye. - [Lady] Bye!
Speaker A
Oh god. Well, that's a real start. Bottle of water and a, what is that?
Speaker A
(beep) a Wispa Caramel. Never had one of them. Typically, two vehicles came past while I was talking to that lady, who I didn't want to trouble for a lift, by the way, although a few hundred meters later, I kinda wish I had.
Speaker A
(beep). It's 3.7 miles to Bishop's Castle. That is awful. I've got to flag someone down, man.
Speaker A
That is (beep) too far, man. Not after all that. It's not as bad as my other idea though, which was to walk back to Clun.
Speaker A
(laughs) That is absolutely mental. I think I'd genuinely die if I did that. Like genuinely.
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(van whooshes) Prick. (tractor whooshes) By this point, I'd probably walked a mile and a half and had consigned myself to walking the rest, but then.
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Oh. Hello. I'm just going to Bishop's Castle. - [Driver] Yeah, jump in. - [Tom] Oh, thank you.
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Not much interrogation then. (laughs) - [Driver] You're all right. Well, there's only one, well, we're only going to Bishop's Castle.
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- [Tom] Well, that's true. Yeah yeah. Yeah, but I might've been a weirdo. (laughs) I'm not, I'm not.
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- [Driver] They're not usually around here. (Tom laughs) I can't remember this middle-aged couple's names, but I could tell from their accents that they were from my neck of the woods.
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It felt fitting, actually, that a pair of fellow West Midlanders should be the ones to help bring me home, even if they did casually shit on my plan A.
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- [Driver] I don't think you'll get a bus tonight, mate. - [Tom] Oh, really?
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- [Driver and Passenger] No. - [Tom] Well, maybe I can get a taxi to Shrewsbury.
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- [Driver] There's probably only bloody three buses a week out of this place. (Tom laughs) - [Tom] Oh god.
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So, it seemed like I was gonna be entirely dependent on the infamously unreliable countryside taxis, but at least I could be so in a pub.
Speaker A
Thanks for that. You've given me a headstart. (laughs) Take care. - [Passenger] You're welcome.
Speaker A
- Bye! Right, here I am in beautiful Bishop's Castle. I've been dropped off at The Six Bells, and I'm gonna try and get a taxi.
Speaker A
I'm gonna have a drink first though, believe me. It felt unbelievably good to be inside a pub sipping on a beer.
Speaker A
I did have to take myself outside because I absolutely honked, but that was fine, because what I thought was going to be a whole separate ordeal trying to get taxis from town to town deep into the night disappeared with my very first phone call.
Speaker A
Somehow, I'd managed to stumble across a taxi driver based in Craven Arms who was willing to take me all the way back to the car for the very reasonable price of 90 pounds.
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- [Cabbie] Do you wanna take a seat in the front? - [Tom] Erm, the only thing is I absolutely stink 'cause I've been walking.
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- [Cabbie] I know. I stink too. (Tom laughs) And to cap it off, he was one of the soundest taxi drivers I've ever met.
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It just goes to show, you never quite know how things are gonna turn out when you wing it.
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- [Cabbie] All the best. - [Tom] All the best, man. - [Cabbie] Hopefully see you again, when you're in Shropshire, give us a call.
Speaker A
- [Tom] Yes, I'll bear you in mind for sure, yeah. - [Cabbie] Okay then. - [Tom] That might happen. (laughs) - [Cabbie] See you, mate! - [Tom] See ya, mate.
Speaker A
- [Cabbie] Ta-ra. - [Tom] Bye. It turned into a bit of an ultra in the end, didn't it?
Speaker A
A bit of a- and not a very poorly executed one. Bit of a feat of endurance in the end, to be honest.
Speaker A
30 miles I did today. Really tough because of factors already mentioned, You know. Everything about it was a lot harder than I thought it would be, but I'd say it was a success.
Speaker A
I really enjoyed it, and yeah, I succeeded in what I set out to do, didn't I, which is always nice.
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Well, I certainly achieved the no roads mission element. Whether I succeeded on the true aim of the mission to embark on a medieval journey, I'll let you be the judge.
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One thing's for sure though: I will be returning to this incredible county as soon as I am able, possibly even to see if I can take the whole medieval quest concept to another level using what I've learned from this trip.
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Let me know in the comments if that's something you'd like to see and how you'd like to see it.
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If there's one thing I want you to take away from this series, and I'm mainly addressing my fellow Brits here, it's a newfound appreciation for the wonderful countryside that surrounds us, and maybe even a sudden urge to utilise these magical green lines
Speaker A
and forge your own completely unique adventure. There are unlimited combinations of routes you could take, people you could meet, and places you could discover, so why not get out there and live it?
Topics:GeoWizardShropshireEngland footpathslong-distance walkingmedieval castlesStokesay Castleoutdoor adventurehiking challengesrural Englandtravel vlog
