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Every problem you face in life has one and the same cause. You think too much about what others will think of you. It is this obsession with the opinions of others that is the root of your unhappiness. I think everyone in their
Explore Diogenes' philosophy to overcome the obsession with others' opinions and live authentically by embracing nature over social customs.
Key Takeaways
- Obsessing over others' opinions causes unhappiness and inauthentic living.
- People-pleasing sacrifices personal truth and well-being.
- Living according to nature rather than social customs leads to freedom.
- Radical self-acceptance includes embracing criticism and rejection.
- Diogenes’ Cynicism offers a practical philosophy for authentic living.
What the video covers
- The root of unhappiness is caring too much about what others think.
- People-pleasing is exhausting and leads to living a life not true to oneself.
- Diogenes of Sinope, an eccentric ancient philosopher, exemplified living authentically by disregarding social norms.
- Diogenes lived in a large pithos (barrel) and famously searched for a 'human' with a lantern, symbolizing his quest for genuine people.
- His philosophy, Cynicism, values living according to nature rather than societal customs, which are often arbitrary and restrictive.
- Diogenes embraced being disliked and even accepted derogatory nicknames, showing radical self-acceptance.
- Customs vary widely and can be absurd; following nature leads to true freedom and happiness.
- Cynics reject social constructs like status, wealth, and family obligations to live honestly and freely.
- Diogenes’ life and philosophy challenge us to stop worrying about others’ opinions and live authentically.
- The video encourages viewers to adopt Diogenes’ mindset to find peace and self-respect.
Chapters
- 00:00The Problem: Caring Too Much About Others' Opinions
- 01:34Diogenes of Sinope: The Eccentric Philosopher
- 03:11The Trap of People-Pleasing and Its Consequences
- 04:47Diogenes’ Radical Disregard for Others' Opinions
- 06:19Origins and Meaning of Cynicism
- 08:01Living According to Nature vs. Social Customs
- 09:36The Philosophy of Self-Love and Individualism
- 11:01Diogenes’ Legacy and Practical Lessons
- 16:06Cynicism’s Rejection of Social Constructs
- 20:48Dispelling Social Smoke: The True Human
Full Transcript — Download SRT & Markdown
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life has felt pressure from other people and the constant thoughts in their head about how others perceive them. Of course, each of us seeks validation of our worth from the outside, but sometimes this search turns into navigating a labyrinth that
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simply has no exit. But worse yet, this search makes you a person who is not living their own life. Today, we will try to resolve this problem once and for all. And for this, only one person can help us. A strange eccentric, a
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true punk among philosophers. His name is Diogenes of Sinope. If you don't know about him, I even envy you a little, because I would like to hear about him for the first time again.
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Diogenes was captured by pirates, exiled from his home, and begged alms from statues to train himself in rejection, of course. But most importantly, he lived in a clay barrel and walked around in the middle of the day with a lantern, declaring: "I am
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looking for a human." And, of course, most people perceive Diogenes as just a meme. A philosophical oddball with some anecdotes and a famous barrel. But in reality, his eccentricity was much deeper than many think. The same can be
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said about his barrel. It was much deeper than most people think. It was a large pithos. But that does not change the fact that he really lived in it and by doing so surpassed his teacher. The philosophical school of Diogenes of
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Sinope was truly ahead of its time, because it was turned toward the future. But these ideas need to be understood in life as early as possible, in the present, especially if you have issues with the opinions of others. By the end
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of the video, you will understand the most interesting concepts of Diogenes' philosophy, and at the same time, it will become much easier to stop worrying about what others think. Oh, and yes, you will find out what kind of
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person Diogenes was looking for with his lantern. His whole life. You are on the AFK channel. Let's begin. Being a people-pleaser is incredibly exhausting. Every day you might completely unconsciously try to manage the emotions of other people, carefully
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avoiding conflicts and making sure everyone around is comfortable. Everyone around, except for you. You might spend a lot of time crafting the perfect text message for another person to avoid any possible misunderstandings. But at the same time, you might not
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even find 2 minutes to ask yourself what you want to have for lunch. Notice that right now, you likely have at least three situations where you say yes when you mean no, smile when you are upset, or agree when you actually
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disagree. This happens because we have all been conditioned to believe that being kind means never causing anyone discomfort. The trap of people-pleasing convinces us that adjusting to others is the same as love. Being a comfortable person for everyone is
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equated to caring for everyone. But in reality, we deprive others of the opportunity to know and love our true selves. And the philosopher Diogenes of Sinope is the most authentic and real person who lived not by words, but by
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deeds. Legendary ancient Greek philosophers knew about him. But we will turn to Friedrich Nietzsche, whom I have already mentioned on the channel. And it was he who declared about Diogenes, or rather his philosophy, that it is the highest form that an
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average soul can reach on the path to honesty. By the way, hit the like button if you want a separate video about Nietzsche. I hope this provides enough authoritative confirmation that Diogenes was not just a weird beggar for no reason. Behind this hides a
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specific worldview that left a huge mark on the whole world. And now you are going to learn all about it. But for Diogenes' contemporaries, his philosophy was seen as low. Many people frankly disliked him. Philosophers practically did not mention him in
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their works. Although they knew him perfectly well, and people around him would say: "Many are laughing at you." And Diogenes would reply: "And perhaps donkeys are laughing at them, but just as they don't care about donkeys, I don't care about them." This is where a
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characteristic trait of Diogenes is revealed. He demonstratively disregarded the opinion of others and even despised it. And, believe me, we have a lot to learn from him. We all perfectly understand and know that it is hard to endure the fact that we
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might not be liked by someone, when rumors are spread about us or people openly avoid us. But the truth is that there will always be people who will not like us, no matter what we do, because everyone has their own ideas
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about what is right. And we will talk about this in more detail now. The most important thing is to initially accept that you may not be liked, that you may be hated, and that rumors may be spread. And that is normal. That is how
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people work. Fighting people's opinions will take up a lot of energy and will never lead to you being liked by everyone. Here, you need to change your strategy, and quite radically. Just imagine, Diogenes' contemporaries called him a dog, and his philosophy
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dog-like, implying the lowliness of his social status and behavior, his lack of property, and, of course, his life in a barrel. But Diogenes did not fight this judgment from people; he willingly accepted the nickname. It reached the point where a monument in the shape of
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a dog was erected on his grave. And the most interesting thing is, "dog" in Ancient Greek sounds like "kyon." And from this, the philosophy of dogs got the name "Cynicism." And only later did people, due to linguistic shifts, start
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calling Cynics "cynics" and Cynicism "cynicism." And this symbolic name for an entire school of philosophical thought takes its roots from Diogenes' dog. And this name already gives a rough idea of the philosophy, if you think abstractly. A stray dog is not
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ashamed of what is natural. It does not strive for luxury, is not interested in social status, lives spontaneously, bites those who pose a threat, and does not try to meet societal expectations.
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But most importantly, a dog can be happy. It doesn't have all these human anxieties and everything people have created for themselves in order to be happy. Diogenes of Sinope arrived at a clash of two mutually exclusive concepts: nature and custom. Custom is
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any norm established by people, while nature is the natural way of existing that is common to all people. And the main principle of Diogenes is to live according to nature, not custom. And to make it clearer, Diogenes introduced
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the concept of "typhos," which literally means smoke. That is what he called all these customs that people surround themselves with, becoming as if in smoke, in a fog. And one must dispel it to reveal human essence, human nature. For Diogenes, nature was
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more valuable than custom. And for illustration, let's look at a clear example. Did you know that in Ancient Greece, eating in public was considered very indecent? That is a custom. But hunger is a human's nature. And for Diogenes, the latter took precedence.
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And he ate freely wherever he wanted, in any place at any time. And to us now, this doesn't seem out of the ordinary, but for the people of Ancient Greece, it was simply abnormal. And the desire
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to please everyone or thoughts about what others will think of you—this is a consequence of custom coming to the forefront. But think, customs always change over time. From society to society, they differ, and some of them are truly absurd. So why follow them?
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For example, among some indigenous tribes, it was perfectly normal to eat their own parents. They had their own customs. Also, let me remind you, it used to be considered completely normal to own slaves. The fate of millions of
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people was built upon that custom. So why do we now assume the exclusive certainty th
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thought, and it was crucial for him to listen to his nature and make it a habit not to look at the opinions of others, or what they might think, when you are guided by your own nature. And, of course, I can already hear all your
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concerns that this might make us anti-human, immoral, or nasty people. But in reality, these concerns, this fear of being unloved, is the root of insecurity, which can cause you to live a life that isn't yours at all, or
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simply live for others. Yes, it sounds selfish, but what if I told you that the most selfless people in the world are those who admit they live for themselves? Yes, I know, it sounds strange, but give me a moment. Think
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about the people who have had the greatest positive impact on your life. Did they try to please you, constantly seeking your approval, or adjusting to your expectations? Or were they simply being themselves? For example, a teacher who changed your perspective, a
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friend who told you a bitter truth, a leader who inspired you to become better. They were not seeking your approval. They lived based on their authentic core, based on their own nature. And here is a paradox that will
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turn your understanding upside down. When you live for yourself, by being yourself, you automatically serve other people much better. And "serve" here is meant without any negative connotation.
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You help and provide value to other people. In reality, pleasing others or following custom is, essentially, a subtle form of control. We adjust to others because we want them to love us, stay with us, approve of us, and
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validate our worth. And most importantly, so that we don't receive hate, negativity, or criticism from them. A kind of preemptive defense.
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Does this not sound familiar? But a life according to Diogenes says: "I will be truly myself, I will respect my own truth, and I will trust that the right people will appreciate it." This, of course, is frightening because it
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requires real courage. The courage to be someone who is not loved. But it is precisely behind this that enormous opportunities are hidden. Few people know, but Diogenes of Sinope was born into a rather wealthy family. He worked as a mint magistrate, essentially a
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banker, but was later exiled and ended up in Athens. In other words, this relocation happened against his will, and he found himself in a position that , at the time, was considered one of the most terrible things that could
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happen to a person. It was something one wished only upon enemies, usually in curses. And Diogenes found himself in that position: a man without a homeland, an exile. And, of course, the people around him reproached Diogenes for his exile, but he replied to them:
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"You poor souls, for it is thanks to my exile that I became a philosopher." Over time, he not only ignored the opinions of others but called himself a cosmopolite—that is, not a citizen of a specific state, but a citizen of the
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whole world. And few people know that the word "cosmopolite" was coined and first used by Diogenes himself. I should remind you that at that time in Greece and throughout the world, cosmopolitanism was extremely unpopular and considered frankly abnormal. Today,
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however, tens or even hundreds of thousands of people live by this principle. Perhaps a friend of yours is a cosmopolite, or maybe even more. In essence, Diogenes was able to embrace his individualism in defiance of all those people he didn't like. And this
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helped him become who he was and influence the entire world. His story tells us many things. First, that the past does not always define us in the present. Let people say whatever they want about your past. What will define
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your life is the goals you set for yourself and what you actually follow. Second, any negative human opinions about you are nothing more than appeals to custom, and nothing else. It was precisely thanks to his exile that Diogenes was able to meet his
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philosophical teacher, Antisthenes, whom he soon surpassed. This was all thanks to his inner nature, which is, in principle, universal to all people, and the goal he set. If he had been guided by the customs of the time— namely, trying to change people's
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opinions of him, proving he wasn't an exile, proving he wasn't guilty, and trying to earn trust and love—we wouldn't be talking about him today. By the way, this also shows that it’s never too late to start something, because Diogenes came to philosophy
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quite late but achieved great philosophical success. For us, this means that you can start something new at any age. The main factor that might hold you back is custom and the opinions of those who follow those customs. Speaking of Diogenes, he truly
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surpassed his teacher by embodying the philosophical ideas of Cynicism in his everyday life. Simply put, if his teacher was a theorist, Diogenes was a true practitioner. And to fully understand this, let's look at another well-known incident involving Diogenes.
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Seeing a boy drinking water with his bare hands, Diogenes threw his cup from his bag and said, "A boy has surpassed me in the simplicity of life." And look at what that means. When people value customs more than their own nature, a
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multitude of artificial needs arises in life, such as luxury, titles, status, wealth, prestige, fashion, reputation, power, and so on. Diogenes believed that if you follow the path of social norms as your primary value, you can infinitely expand artificial needs, and
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this certainly applies to the approval of others. In English, such people are called "people pleasers"—those who appear cultured, polite, and intelligent at first glance, but behind their attempts to be helpful and liked by everyone hides a bland personality.
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In this, Diogenes saw the slavery of desires for the sake of one goal: pleasure. And Diogenes despised every pleasure that people considered the norm. For example, when someone inevitably envied the luxurious life of serving Alexander the Great, Diogenes
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remarked: "Truly unhappy is he who eats breakfast and dinner whenever Alexander wishes." See how elegantly he demonstrates that any independence from social custom is far better than a luxurious life in service, dependent on a king. And, by the way, when Alexander
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the Great wanted to meet Diogenes, having heard much about him, and personally asked if he had any request, he uttered the famous phrase: "Stand a little out of my sun." At the time, this made a great impression on the
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king, showing how the philosopher treated people and authorities with such disdain. After all, this meeting could have changed Diogenes 'life forever had he spoken the expected, conventional words. But he chose his barrel as a symbol of independence and
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disregard for authority. This meeting with the Macedonian is especially telling because Diogenes lived in total poverty. The thing is, when Diogenes decided to prioritize nature over custom, he inevitably arrived at an ascetic lifestyle, which led him to that very barrel, as well as poverty,
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cold, hunger, and the lack of everything that custom tells us we must have. Of course, his goal was not to live in a barrel for the public's amusement. Every day he experienced " toil," which he called all the
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hardships of asceticism. But by living a consistent life until his death, he tried to show how little a person truly needs to feel happiness. And this is what he taught: to master one's fear, to be brave enough not to please people
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and to do without those things that custom deems sacred. When students came to learn from him, a known incident occurred where Diogenes gave a student a fish and told him to follow him around with it. But the student felt
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ashamed, threw the fish away, and left. Some time later, Diogenes said: "Our friendship was ruined by a fish." Most people cannot cope with shame because they are used to being guided, autonomous units of social custom.
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Always fearing disgrace, being seen as "cringe," and so on, condemns these people to wander forever in search of the artificial happiness that custom will always feed them. It is an endless labyrinth that has no end, and which will constantly grow for every person
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who chooses to have an opinion about you. And in this way, you might end up living not your own life, but a life that others approve of. And, perhaps, the next instance reveals the most important point regarding the essence
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of Diogenes. He was walking into the theater just as people were coming out toward him. When asked why he was doing this, he put it exactly like this. This is how I try to act my whole life through. This is not just some
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eccentricity. From a psychological perspective, it is still an excellent way to work through your shame. To intentionally experience public disgrace by doing something absurd. It hardens you and provides a firm foundation in your own nature. After all, the opinion of others is not the
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source of your happiness; the source of happiness is within you. You, who are listening to me right now, can become happy at this very moment. If you cast aside the customs that have imposed these slavish desires for pleasure upon
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you. The philosophy of Cynicism implies that you should always act as you wish, without paying the slightest attention to others. Cynics reject all social constructs, such as the state, family, marriage, religion, status, wealth, and so on. They find an aesthetic of the
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ugly in their way of life. This, of course, can confront you with daily hardships, from facing negative opinions to the deprivation of a warm home. Of course, in the case of Diogenes, with his total dedication and consistent practice of Cynicism, this
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is the most radical example of an uncompromising philosophical protest against all human customs. This is a unique experiment performed on one's own life. And, of course, it is unlikely that one can seriously use it as a guide for living today, but it is,
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at the very least, highly inspiring. And do you know why? Note that throughout my entire narrative, I have not once mentioned any divine plan.
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Diogenes endured the daily hardships of life without customs, far from any religious motivation that his suffering would lead him to heaven or bring him closer to God. No. The asceticism of the Cynic philosophers is strictly non-religious. Cynicism is absolutely
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foreign to any kind of mysticism. That is to say, they did it without expecting any religious gifts from God.
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And to put it bluntly, Diogenes allowed himself to do many things: he would masturbate in public, strip naked, and even instructed his people not to bury him, but to leave his body to be torn apart by dogs. What we have here is
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complete anti-religiosity. And that is precisely what makes such a great impression. But the most interesting part is that modern scholars even suggest that Cynicism could have significantly influenced how Christianity emerged. After all, the ideas of Diogenes and the Cynics who
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followed him existed long before the birth of Jesus. The kinship between Christianity and Cynicism is much deeper than it might seem at first glance. And so it turns out that a selfish life lived for oneself, and loyalty to one's own nature, contrary
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to public opinion, helped contribute to the creation of Christian morality, which continues to save lives to this day. Well, at least according to what people say. But what is the true goal of Cynicism according to Diogenes? The only goal is autarky, which means
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self-sufficiency or self-reliance. The mind of a sage is true spiritual freedom in the face of the ugliness of life. And just look at how far this knowledge is from most people today.
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Everyone around has become accustomed to feeling deprived simply because of certain customs, always lacking enough money, attention, status, or comfort.
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And this list could go on forever, because customs are like smoke in a labyrinth with no exit. Diogenes of Sinope walked with a lantern to disperse the smoke of customs in which people are suffocating. He was looking for a human not in the biological sense
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, but someone living according to nature, not custom. He was looking for a self-sufficient person, who is very hard to find. But at any time there is always a chance that Diogenes might find you. To start, you just need to
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disregard the opinions of others and boldly live for yourself. Then the philosophy of the dogs will open its wisdom to you and teach you much.
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Thanks for watching until the end. Don't forget to subscribe to the channel. Bye everyone.
Topics:DiogenesCynicismphilosophyauthenticityself-acceptancepeople-pleasingsocial customsancient philosophyliving authenticallyovercoming judgment
