Speaker A
[music] [music] Welcome. [music] What [music] the hell are you doing? [music] [music] [music] [music] The courier from Spain.
A Gentleman by Mistake (1943) follows a French nobleman chosen for a royal marriage alliance with Spain, navigating court intrigue and romance.
Key Takeaways
- Royal marriages were used as political tools to prevent war between nations.
- Appearances and charm can be as influential as political skill in court diplomacy.
- Ambition and personal relationships heavily impact political decisions in royal courts.
- The film blends humor and drama to portray complex character dynamics.
- Classic movie noir elements are present in the storytelling and character development.
What the video covers
- The film is set during tense political times between France and Spain, with a courier delivering a message about a potential royal marriage to prevent war.
- King Louis of France must choose a French nobleman to marry Maria, Princess of Spain, to secure peace.
- The Duke Dishon, a handsome and skilled swordsman, is selected for this diplomatic mission despite his limited court experience.
- Court intrigues involve Madame Pompadour, Mimi the ambitious chambermaid, and the king’s personal dynamics.
- Mimi tries to influence the king, causing tension with other characters like Bare, a barber who is emotionally involved with her.
- The Duke prepares to leave for Spain amid political and romantic complications.
- The story explores themes of honor, love, ambition, and the complexities of royal diplomacy.
- Humor and drama intertwine as characters navigate personal and political challenges.
- The narrative highlights the contrast between appearances and true intentions within the royal court.
- The film is a classic example of movie noir with elements of romance and political intrigue.
Chapters
- 00:00Introduction and Arrival of the Spanish Courier
- 04:30Discussion of Royal Marriage Alliance
- 06:44Court Intrigues and Mimi's Ambitions
- 09:06Tensions and Decisions in the Palace
- 15:04Departure Preparations for Spain
- 21:41Court Reception and Political Maneuvering
- 31:06Climax: Diplomatic Challenges and Confrontations
- 38:06Resolution and Aftermath
Full Transcript — Download SRT & Markdown
Speaker A
Will there be war? We'll soon know. The gates are closed. I bear a message from His Majesty King Philip of Spain to His Majesty Louis, King of all France.
Speaker A
The courier from Spain. Open the gates. [music] Dashant. It's a courier from Spain. Yes, I know.
Speaker A
What will it be? War or peace? Neither for us if the good King Louis catches the charming Pompadour in my apartment.
Speaker A
And since when does the gallant Shawn fear for his head?
Speaker A
Not mine. This one, much too pretty a head to be found rolling around in the bottom of a basket. But darling, yours would be there beside it.
Speaker A
You think of everything, my dear Pompadour. Your Majesty, Your Majesty. What is it, sir? The courier from Spain.
Speaker A
Come here. Come here. What say the Spanish? Is it war? Not yet, sir. Then what is it?
Speaker A
Speak, man. Speak. King Philip feels that the forces who fan the flames of hatred toward France can still be thwarted.
Speaker A
But how? How? An alliance based on royal marriage. Royal marriage? Yes, sir. Between Maria, Princess of Spain, and a French nobleman of your choosing.
Speaker A
What do you think, Dammo? Philip Bishroods. He knows the Spanish. The right marriage might well stir their romantic imagination and avert war.
Speaker A
Yes, it's quite true. Quite true. But we must be careful. We must choose the proper man. You, Cour, refresh yourself.
Speaker A
I shall send for you. Yes, Dammo. We must choose the proper man. [laughter] Someone handsome, dashing, clever, one whose wit and charm would captivate the Spanish court. [laughter]
Speaker A
In other words, sir, the Duke Dishon.
Speaker A
Who else? Brilliant strokes are brilliant. Obvious choice to rid the court of his fiery temper and quick blade, to say nothing of considerable romantic competition. [laughter]
Speaker A
The young blood should be duly grateful. Adama, not to mention a few of the older ones, sir. [laughter] I shouldn't wonder.
Speaker A
What do you mean? Oh, nothing, sir. Nothing. Except I noticed the charming newcomer Madame Pompadour favor him with a smile.
Speaker A
A smile? A smile? What's a smile? She dead. But what matters, sir? After all, he leaves in a few days.
Speaker A
Few days? He leaves tonight. Send the courier back to Spain. Tell Philip his daughter Maria weds the darling of the French court. Viva, swordsman extraordinaire.
Speaker A
Prince of the blood, I adore Duke Dorn. Very well, sir. Inform Dorn, the queen, the ministers.
Speaker A
Spread the news. This is a big night and all France must celebrate. Good heavens.
Speaker A
Get my barber. Someone care. Some care. The simple care. Where is he? In the chambermate's room.
Speaker A
Thank you very much. Chambermate. Oh, [music] go away. Mimi, don't try to stop me.
Speaker A
You've broken my heart for the last time. You're now gazing at a Frenchman who is not afraid to die for love.
Speaker A
Look here, stop. Don't try to stop me, Mimi. Don't. Oh, it's you. Talk to me later. I'm killing myself. Look here. You can't, you can't kill yourself.
Speaker A
Why not? The king wants to save. Tell him I'm tied up. Or the king? Oh, that's different.
Speaker A
Hey, you didn't tie the rope. I was going to take a couple of practice swings.
Speaker A
Oh, I see. My dear Bare, why do you want to kill yourself? You with so much to live for.
Speaker A
It's Mimi. Mimi? Why should you be upset over a little scullery maid? Scullery maid? She's the king's new chambermate. She promoted herself upstairs.
Speaker A
What? She can promote herself upstairs? She can promote herself upstairs? Maybe not. You don't know Mimi. She's ambitious to be somebody. For years, she's been determined to get upstairs.
Speaker A
Oh, perhaps she wanted to enlarge her mind. No, her mind's large enough and the rest of her doesn't need any improvement.
Speaker A
Well, then what's worrying you? It's the king. After all, he's got the power to—He's the king.
Speaker A
Look here, I'm surprised. You know, a chambermaid doesn't seek to attract the king's eye unless she wants to.
Speaker A
That's right. Not unless she wants to. Well, she wants to. Are you certain? I'm positive. I threw myself at her feet. Told her if she went through with this, I'd hang myself.
Speaker A
And what did she do? Loan me the rope. Well, okay. My poor, poor friend. You were right. You must kill yourself. Yeah.
Speaker A
Huh? You were right. Absolutely right. Well, you could argue with me a little. I—Okay, think. You're a Frenchman. Yes.
Speaker A
Yes. A man of honor. Yes. Yes. You lost your sweetheart. Yes. Yes. Then you must kill yourself. No.
Speaker A
No. Let's settle. I got to get to work. Mimi. Oh, are you still alive?
Speaker A
Tell the king. I'll be right up. Mimi, you're making a mistake. A big mistake.
Speaker A
I have nothing further to say, Bare. Well, I won't let you do it. You won't let me do it. Out of my way, Barbara.
Speaker A
Pretty sure yourself, aren't you? What makes you think the king will look at you twice?
Speaker A
He won't have to. Once will be enough. Mimi, do you realize what you're doing?
Speaker A
Turning me down? And for what? A king? Mimi, I've got a future. I'm only a little barber now, but someday I'll have a shop of my own with two chairs, three chairs, maybe even four. And what has the king got? One chair.
Speaker A
But look what's on it. Yeah. And another thing. What about those other women upstairs? They'll see through your tricky schemes in this palace. It's every woman for herself. Dog eat dog.
Speaker A
Let's leave the queen out of this. Where is that Bokare? My dear Mr. Vocare, I am now going in to prepare the queen's bath. And while the queen is taking her bath, who knows, I may get to meet the king.
Speaker A
Farewell, Barber. Mimi. I'm warning you. If you go through with this, you'll never see me again.
Speaker A
Have you thought about that? Well, well, well, I guess you've thought about it. Wait.
Speaker A
Go. Gentlemen, I didn't call you in to ask your opinion. I called you in to give you my decisions. Bare, you clumsy idiot. Oh, there you are. Oh, sorry, sir.
Speaker A
But to send a dash, a dandy, a puppy, whose experience in court diplomacy is limited to courting.
Speaker A
Exactly. Are you quite true, gentlemen? For if you are, uh, what is the matter with you tonight?
Speaker A
Sorry, sir. I—I—Oh, I'm sorry. It's Mimi. Mimi? Who's Mimi? Oh, your girl.
Speaker A
I mean my girl. That is—She's our girl. Gets around, doesn't she? Man, what are you jabbering about?
Speaker A
Mimi, may I talk to you about her, sire? Certainly not. Now, gentlemen, let's finish with this discussion. The Duke Don goes to Spain and he goes tonight.
Speaker A
Who's Mimi? Oh, she's been downstairs. Now she's upstairs. Never mind. Now here's the queen.
Speaker A
Louis, what's this idea of Desawn going to Spain? Quite true. Quite true. What about it?
Speaker A
Nothing. I just wondered why, of all our very talented young men, you chose Dashawn.
Speaker A
Why not? Royal blood. Best swordsman in the land. And I understand from certain sources that he's very attractive to the ladies. Hey, Barber.
Speaker A
Oh, yes, sir. Very attractive. But he doesn't even speak Spanish. Oh, don't worry about him. He'll make himself understood.
Speaker A
Shut up, you idiot. He didn't say anything. I said, "Shut up, my dear. Please remember, we never display anger in front of our cabinet.
Speaker A
Anger is the effort of a limited mind to express itself." Now, shut up, you idiot, and powder my wig.
Speaker A
Oh, I'm sorry, sir. I was only repeating what Mimi told me. Who is this? Oh. Oh.
Speaker A
Okay, you'll answer for this. And once and for all, who is this? Mimi, my girl, sire, she dreams of position, power. Why, she'd like to influence the king like Madame Pompadour.
Speaker A
And who says Madame Pompadour influences the [snorts] king? Oh, everybody knows that. It's all over.
Speaker A
It's it or don't they? Louis, I shall talk to you later. My dear, wait. Please, you mustn't misunderstand. You see, I said later and alone, you blundering nincompoop, get out of this palace. If I so much as
Speaker A
see you again, I'll have your head. Yes, sir. Thank you, sire. That's the other matter. This all leaves for Spain tonight.
Speaker A
I guess I caught him in a bad humor. Who does he think he is to talk to me that way? After all, I'm not dirt. I'm a man.
Speaker A
Well, sort of. What makes him so special anyway? A ring, a wig, some robes, a few soldiers.
Speaker A
After all, anyone can be king. Just [music] happen.
Speaker A
Well, I wouldn't go around cutting off everybody's head. Him and his mask. Got a mask for day and a mask for night. Even got a [music] mask for sleeping. I don't blame him. If I had a face like him, I'd keep it
Speaker A
confidential too. Don't shoot. Oh, pardon me, your majesty. Approach me. Approach me. Pretty little wench.
Speaker A
Thank you, sir. Rise, child. Rise. [music] Haven't I seen you about the palace? Hardly dared that my sire would notice me.
Speaker A
Oh, but of course you're the little wench who's been seen around with boke the baba. Splendid chap bokeare and so handsome.
Speaker A
Boare. Handsome. Just don't see how one man can get that handsome. Believe me, Sia, there's nothing between myself and Vocare.
Speaker A
Nothing. You call that nothing? The way you kissed him at the scullery maid's ball behind the onion sacks.
Speaker A
Sir, you know of that. My child, the king's eyes are everywhere. Oh, but your majesty, I did not come here to discuss boare, handsome though he may be and charming, witty, clever, and I happen to know that you've shown more than a
Speaker A
casual interest in him. Oh, Hollits are that for a barber, he's very amusing and well, rather sweet. But after all, Bokeer is a man. And I'm not interested in men. Mortal men. My interest is France.
Speaker A
What do you mean, sire? I am a patriot. I love France. And to me, sire, you are France. All of France.
Speaker A
Oh, it's just the way the robe fits. It's just strictly for lounging. Oh, what a moment to be alone with France, to see France, to hear France, to touch France.
Speaker A
Do you know what a moment this is for a woman? It's not so bad for France either.
Speaker A
Don't think of me as a woman. Think of me as the people of France.
Speaker A
I'd rather think of you as a woman in such a small room. That sire was for France.
Speaker A
Now, let's have one for the colonies. [music] Louie, the queen. Oh, your majesty, don't misunderstand.
Speaker A
I'm sure I shant. I never do. Do I, Louie? I was just telling his majesty of my patriotism.
Speaker A
These are perilous times, child. Patriotism is not bought cheaply. Come, I will see you are amply rewarded.
Speaker A
This is not my day. God. God. Your majesty escort this winch to the Spanish border.
Speaker A
Spain. Oh, but your head. And if ever you said put in France again, I'll have your head. Take her away.
Speaker A
Spain. Oh no. [music] Well, that's the king. Then who will care? REVENGE. I SWEAR REVENGE.
Speaker A
Tell Madame Pompador I'm here. But you're I said tell her. But sire. Duke Desmond.
Speaker A
We'll see about that. Perhaps if I intervene with the king. It's no use. I'm ordered to leave within the hour. Farewell, Don.
Speaker A
The king. She was just wishing me a safe journey, your majesty. Oh, you grace. You've got to take me to Spain.
Speaker A
Care. What are you doing in the king's robe? Well, I had a chill. Please take me to Spain.
Speaker A
Out of the question. I know I shouldn't presume her out of here. You know how things are around here.
Speaker A
Can't you do something with them? Get out. I know it's a matter of life and death, but I can serve you. Serve you well, please.
Speaker A
Oh, king's coming. Oh, please. Please take me. You don't know what this means to me. Mimi is gone to Spain and I've got to go, too.
Speaker A
Who heads if we're caught together? Please, I'll be your lackey. I'll be your lackey.
Speaker A
Must be a way out. I'll do your laces, your undies. I'll fix the runs in your style.
Speaker A
Could fight it out. I'll bring you breakfast in bed. No, not the king. Think fast. We've got to do something.
Speaker A
I'll keep your trim. I'll scratch your back. I'll scratch yours, too. I'll cut your hair. I'll shave your Oh, please tell them.
Speaker A
Shave. Shave. That's it. Yeah. Immediately out of these clothes that I can have you come on over here.
Speaker A
I'll add coming sire. One moment. Sire, you're next. All right, let him in. Pull this grace.
Speaker A
Your grace. Evening Desawn shaving at this hour. Yes, your majesty. You see, I It was my idea SIRE.
Speaker A
YOU, BARBER? YES, SIR. I was rather under the impression that you were no longer with us.
Speaker A
Oh, I'm leaving. I'm practically gone. I'll be out of here before you can say Madame Papador.
Speaker A
Just a final shave, your majesty. Uh, a good man, this book here. Ah, what's this familiar scent? And the lace so delicate, so feminine. Anyone we know?
Speaker A
No idea, your majesty. That is I am. It's mine, your majesty. Yours? I carry one for show and one for blow.
Speaker A
Delightful scent, isn't it? I wouldn't give two cents for those other scents. Comes all the WAY FROM FRANCE.
Speaker A
THIS IS FRANCE. Small world. Miss Fast begins to bore me. I reason to suspect someone is hiding in your apartment.
Speaker A
Should I chance to find her, I'm afraid I shall have YOUR HEAD AND YOURS, TOO.
Speaker A
NATURALLY, two heads are always better than one. S to entertain such thoughts is madness.
Speaker A
There's no one in there. We shall see. Oh, this is horrible. You I'm so worried.
Speaker A
Stop worrying. I'll tell you when it's time to worry. This time, I could have sworn you had a visitor, but a man can be wrong about a woman.
Speaker A
Yes, very wrong. My apologies to Sha. As for you, bother, one word of this.
Speaker A
Heaven forbid, S, that these lips should ever suggest that Madame Pomodor need hide behind a draper beneath the bed.
Speaker A
Hey. Uh-huh. WHERE IS SHE? QUICK, THE BALCONY. HERE, another way. The other one. Back in the chair. Quick. Who's in there with you?
Speaker A
No one there. Well, perhaps I beat the trifle hasty, but I suppose that happens to the best of us. Adore.
Speaker A
There's no reasoning with the greeneyed serpent of jealousy is the lad. Well, what's the matter with you? wash your tongue. Soap. Soap. Well, my apologies again to Shawn and Barbara. I needn't warn you that one day.
Speaker A
Oh, breathe easily, sily lips of mine will never hint that there's a royal skeleton in the family closet. The closet? Of course. Excellent.
Speaker A
I had to open my big mouth. Hey, here we go again. Quick. Come here.
Speaker A
I'm caught. Huh? You're what? None of us are too loose. Breathe in. He's pontoons. Too late. Here he comes.
Speaker A
Breathe out. Duck. Duke. Take the upper. Not there. The shand. I'm a fool. An old jealous fool.
Speaker A
It's quite all right. Sire. Can you forgive me? It's all forgotten, sir. Yeah, let's forget it.
Speaker A
Let me have your hand on it. Well, I must away. Remember, Barbara. Louie. All right, Louis, stop talking. Unless you intend to make more of a fool of me than you have done already.
Speaker A
What? What's this nonsense? So, it's nonsense for the queen of France to come upon the king of France petting and kissing a little skull made.
Speaker A
Chambermaid. Quite right. Chambermaid. Furthermore, how did you know? Oh, you know how those things whip around the palace in one keyhole and out the other.
Speaker A
Oh, what a disgrace. The whole cult must be laughing. You and that wench. Wench? What wench? I haven't seen any wench.
Speaker A
Then I suppose, my dear Louie, somebody else was in your room wearing your robe and your mask and your ring.
Speaker A
Ring? What ring? You know, your turquoise ring. The one that looks like like that.
Speaker A
Oh, we must we must go to the same jewelers. It It does look like yours. IT IS MINE.
Speaker A
KNEW SHE WASN'T A SCALERY MAID. EH. OH, MERCY your majesty. Mercy. Why did you do it? Nay.
Speaker A
To save her, sire. Save her from what? You, sire. There you see. IMPERSONATE ROYALTY WITH YOU, YOU LYING COUNEL.
Speaker A
OH, PLEASE. YOUR MAJESTY. She's that barber. Take him to guillotine and cut him his head in the morning. Oh, farewell your grace. When you get to Spain, look up Mimi. Tell Mimi I'm sorry.
Speaker A
Mimi? Who's Mimi? The little girl who'd like to be like Madam Papador. OH, CHOP HIS HEAD TONIGHT.
Speaker A
THIS WILL TEACH ME A LESSON. What a way to die. Be brave, my friend. You wanted to go anyway, but like a man, not like a salami.
Speaker A
Cottage, they come for you now. Come on. Can't we put this off a while?
Speaker A
I think I'm getting a sore throat. Quick, get into these clothes. Huh? Huh? Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
Speaker A
Amadulum, wave goodbye to the king. No, he'll recognize him. Not from here. Goodbye, your majesty. Why don't you fall off there and break your big fat neck?
Speaker A
Good luck. Good riddance. Oh, the queen. Goodbye, old prune phase. Climb back on your broom.
Speaker A
Charming boy. What you mean? What's he doing in those clothes? I'll tell you later, Kevin.
Speaker A
I will not get him. I I won't be left. Born boy. So they've chosen the illustrious Duke Deandre right?
Speaker A
Yes, General. Quite a choice. We of Spain should be highly flattered, gentlemen. And our lovely Princess Maria has already left the Swiss convent traveling incognito. By now, she should be well across France.
Speaker A
Oh, and if the unfortunate young lady were to die on French soil, who But the French could be held responsible.
Speaker A
There's only one answer our stupid king could give. You mean war? What else? During a war, anything can happen.
Speaker A
Thrones can topple. One of determination and vision. Might seize the reigns and rule Spain.
Speaker A
It will be done, General. I didn't question it. I have a great capacity [music] for gratitude amigos.
Speaker A
I shall remember you. How tragic that one so young and lovely as our princess Maria must die.
Speaker A
[music] Da Clara, what do you suppose he's like? Handsome, gay kind. He's probably a very nice young man. Of course he won't be. He'll be rich and fat and bald with as many chins as he has chateau.
Speaker A
You mustn't think of these things. I know. I know. This is a marriage of political expedience. And you are the princess of Spain. I am also a woman.
Speaker A
But first, you are the princess of Spain. Is it going to take all day to fix that harness?
Speaker A
I'm doing the best I can, sir, with what I have to work with. Well, hurry up. We don't want to spend the night here.
Speaker A
More delays. What a journey. Broken harness, miserable heat, dust, and on top of it, this preposterous masgrade.
Speaker A
Dashan, I insist on your getting out of those clothes immediately. I've told you, Dharma, I shall change when we approach the Spanish border. Not before. At the moment, it's quite too hot, and I'm quite too comfortable.
Speaker A
Quiet. Do you have a spare thong? I think so. Look under the seat, Chico.
Speaker A
[music] Okay. What a beauty. What an angel. What a vision. What are we waiting for? I think the one in the big hat likes you.
Speaker A
Drive on. But madam, the harness is broken. I said drive on. They'll be back.
Speaker A
I'm not waiting. Drive around and hitch one of those horses. I'll make it too.
Speaker A
May I remind you, my dear Dong, that you're supposed to be a bridegroom on the road to your marriage.
Speaker A
An event I can hardly anticipate was reddish, particularly to a woman I've never even seen.
Speaker A
Yeah, for all he knows, she may be a big fat flabby to rather attractive type of woman.
Speaker A
Shut up. Yes, sir. And may I further remind you that I am being held responsible for the success of the marriage ceremony. And I assure you, I don't intend to fail.
Speaker A
Handsome, wasn't he? The princess of Spain does not bestow her smiles upon a stranger, especially a commoner.
Speaker A
Commoner or nobleman. The forces that will prevent your marriage are desperate and will stop at nothing. We shall proceed seeing no one, speaking to no one.
Speaker A
[music] It's the girl they're being attacked. Come after them. Use your head, man. That can afford no risk.
Speaker A
Yeah, that's right. No risk. You speak of risk to the Duke Desawn. Yeah. What's the matter with you? But there are six of them.
Speaker A
Yeah, six of them. Three for each of them. Hurry. Six or 600? What does it matter?
Speaker A
Yeah, what's the matter? Go on. Help him. Me? Yes, you. You're a man. You've got blood in your veins.
Speaker A
Yeah, I want to keep it there. It's a squirty kind. Go on, man. Help him.
Speaker A
Well, let him get a mad. I'll cut him later. Go on. Yeah, you got to warm up to these. Go.
Speaker A
[music] There you are. Sharks. [music] My god. Oh. Oh. Oh, it's me. Well, did we get them all?
Speaker A
All but one. Sorry he got away. COME BACK AND FIGHT, YOU COWARD. HE WAS THE finest swordsman of the lot.
Speaker A
Yeah. Go ahead, you coward. Lucky for him, he got away when he did. One of them's still kicking. Get in there.
Speaker A
Oh, he's dead. Oh, then I don't blame him for kicking. There's nothing more to worry about. Your grace. My grace. My grace. Oh, my gracious.
Speaker A
Well done, my good man. Well done. Remind me to reward you handsomely with a goat skin full of uh goats or something.
Speaker A
Thank you, your grace. And our thanks, too, for coming to our rescue. Oh, it's nothing. It's just every day.
Speaker A
Who's there? Well, I must run along now and sharpen my sword. You can never tell where we'll meet more of these CADs.
Speaker A
Don't belong, my good man. your grace. I'm afraid you have no driver. Would you grant me the privilege of driving you to your destination?
Speaker A
You are most kind. Thank you. We'll manage. Well, madame, we are alone and must travel by night. This gentleman is being most considerate.
Speaker A
Well, if your master will permit. I think I might persuade him. Yeah. Watch that next one. It's not there.
Speaker A
Don't bother to come across Dharm. I'm leaving. Oh, thank heaven you're seeing. Huh? I'm driving the latest to their destination.
Speaker A
Oh, we are? I forbid it. I ABSOLUTELY FORBID IT. I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS NONSENSE.
Speaker A
He calls it nonsense. Oh, don't worry, Dharma. I'll meet you at the tavern on the Spanish border.
Speaker A
But son, the Spanish pardon and welcome will be there expected to meet the Duke.
Speaker A
I said I'd be there. Yeah, we'll be there. Not you. SELFISH. COME BACK. COME BACK. THIS IS TREASONS.
Speaker A
Stop him. DO YOU HEAR? STOP HIM. I'm mad at him. He's making a fool of me. Do you understand? A fool.
Speaker A
Who's arguing? JEAN, imagine him doing this to me. Me, too. Do you realize what this means?
Speaker A
Supposing he arrives late. SUPPOSING HE DOESN'T ARRIVE AT ALL. I'M NOT GOING TO PUT up with it. I won't. I'm not going to risk my head for one of his silly escapades. I won't stand for it. You understand? I
Speaker A
What's going on behind that? H It might work at death. What might work at what?
Speaker A
Your grace. Oh, no you don't. Not me. No, I just came along for the ride to find Mimi.
Speaker A
You must. Not me. It means war. Well, let him start shooting. But I'm not going around impersonating any dukes. Especially the Shawn. He fights stools. A fell CAN GET SLICED UP THAT WAY. ON the contrary to your grace, the
Speaker A
Spanish are a warm, affectionate people, far more interested in the Duke's other reputation. Well, good luck.
Speaker A
Other reputation? Mhm. He's considered quite a prize among the ladies. Yeah, that's right. Women.
Speaker A
Yeah. Hundreds of them throwing themselves at me, pawning me, mauling me, half Nelson's, hammerlocks. I Oh, no you don't. You almost had me going, but I'm not impersonating any royalty no more. I nearly got my head chopped off
Speaker A
doing that. Sorry. You'll have to use the old duke. Oh, very well. I won't urge you.
Speaker A
Well, now you're talking. I'll send you back to Paris. Now you're talking. And the guillot.
Speaker A
Now you're you're talking to the new duke. When I took her riding on Monday, riding on Monday. Riding on a Monday. She said, "No, sir. Riding on Monday in the coach and poor." [music] Then I took her riding on
Speaker A
Tuesday. Riding on Tuesday, riding on a Tuesday. She came closer riding on Tuesday than she was before.
Speaker A
Wednesday she resisted. Thursday I insisted day after day I'd pray she'd say see sor [music] so I brought her riding on Sunday riding on Sunday riding on a Sunday and I taught her riding on Sunday love as a
Speaker A
lovely lord Then I found her right beside me and I held her tight beside me. There was such a light inside me in the coach and far.
Speaker A
In the coach and far still asleep. Yes. I'm glad my singing didn't have the same effect on you.
Speaker A
It was very nice. But your name? What does it matter? The lack is called by many names.
Speaker A
But your speech, your swordsmanship, your bearing. It's more fitting one of gentle even of royal birth.
Speaker A
Don't let speak of royalty. I hate them. I too have no love for them. The things they do to people like you and me.
Speaker A
Let's forget though, shall we? Forgive me. I didn't want you to fall off. The road's much bumpier from here on.
Speaker A
Somehow I always knew it would be like this. Suddenly, without names, without warning. A shame. Stop the coach. Come down at once.
Speaker A
You stay the night. Make arrangements. Yes, ma'am. You at midnight when he's asleep, will you drive us to Madin? Madrid for a 100 pieces of gold.
Speaker A
Da Clara, please may I not even say goodbye? You will leave a note. It'll be easier that way.
Speaker A
Mimi. Mimi. Me me stay out of my dreams will you? So you let her get away amigo in general. It could not be helped. Some madman with a sword sliced us to ribbons. I was lucky to get away with my
Speaker A
life. Were you, amigo? Yes, General. Very lucky. Take him out. See if his luck continues.
Speaker A
But, General, I have been loyal, a friend. You may be certain, amigo, that I shall always think of you tenderly.
Speaker A
Out. There is nothing to stop the word now. Takes two to make a marriage, Captain.
Speaker A
And the bridegroom arrives this afternoon. The shonda. Mhm. Now, uh, wouldn't it be a most unhappy circumstance if his grace would meet with an accident during his stay [music] in Spain? Shall we say tonight?
Speaker A
It might not be easy. They say he's the finest swordsman in France. Hardly the finest without his sword.
Speaker A
Do you have a plan? Not at the moment, but you may be sure. Well, by the time this grace comes along, you cannot stay in Spain. You have no passport.
Speaker A
Let me go. Please let me go. If you send me back, it means my death. It's been ordered by the queen herself.
Speaker A
My dear young lady, that is no concern of ours. Come along. Have her sent to me at once.
Speaker A
We arrive at the tavern in a moment. If he's not there, for heaven's sake, remember you're dressed like a juke. Try and behave like a juke. When you're expected to bow, bow.
Speaker A
When you're expected to smile, smile. Yes, sir. If you're challenged to a jewel, I run.
Speaker A
You see, my dear uh Mimi wasn't. You see, my dear Mimi, I'm fully aware of the unjust treatment you received at the hands of the French.
Speaker A
The general is most understanding. Yes, of course, my dear hand. I assure you most appreciative of the efforts of his friends.
Speaker A
Just what does the general have in mind? Oh, a trifle for a lady of your obvious accomplishments.
Speaker A
Merely that when my men pay their respect to the Duke tonight, his sword shall be unavailable.
Speaker A
Murder. Murder? No. No. No. Who speaks of murder, my dear child? A simple abduction just to delay the wedding for a day or two. But doesn't that mean war?
Speaker A
War? What an ugly thought for such a charming head [music] when it might be thinking of uh a reward. For instance, a chateau in Barcelona or uh perhaps a palace in Madrid.
Speaker A
[cheering] Take him out of the pots. Thanks you lovely peasants. Small crowd. Control yourself. I know it's hard to try.
Speaker A
The struting peacock. I can't believe it. I do. Can't believe what? That I'm going to have a chatau.
Speaker A
My little Mimi, I won't forget that. Neither will the Duke. Say, why am I shaving you? I'm the boy they're waiting for down there. Do you see all that femininity? Acres and acres of it. Boy, what grazing?
Speaker A
They happen to be waiting for the Duke Duchon. Yeah. Say maybe that's him. His Excellency, the Commanding General of the Spanish Army, Francisco Miguel Carlos Monter Castillo de Rios, Garcia Gonzalez Roam Andrade Dea. Must have brought the army
Speaker A
with him. Show him in. The most powerful man in Spain. Put your good on.
Speaker A
Understand? Now I'll do all the talking. You understand? Okay. You just do the body. Wrong coat. What's up? The wrong coat.
Speaker A
That's better. Something missing here. I Your grace, we greet you in the name of Spain.
Speaker A
Your Excellency, we greet you in the name of France. I trust your grace had a pleasant trip.
Speaker A
Oh, I had a very good carriage. My grace was very comfortable. His grace is just it was the most tiresome and dusty journey. His grace is really most fatigued.
Speaker A
I feel a little tired, too. A condition easily remedied. I've taken the liberty of ordering dinner. Exciting dishes to tempt the pallet.
Speaker A
Oh, well, I'm not exactly hungry. Yeah. Wines to stimulate your senses. Not thirsty. And uh after dinner, something to please your gracious discerning eye. Well, let's start with the dessert. Shall we go? You may come too, if you'd like.
Speaker A
Thank you, your grace. After you. After you. No. No. After you. You. After you.
Speaker A
After you. Let's have some more drink up the green every time [music] try why every try try The voices stand up and cheer. Drink the bott as we sing to the queen and the king.
Speaker A
We would drink to a new bead. Drink to the SEAL AND THE FLAG of Castile. We would drink to our wives if we had to [music] drink to the future and drink to the past. This is the land we love.
Speaker A
Bring to our lovely drink to our most honored guest. Fill up your train. Keep it that way.
Speaker A
Drink all your system. Drink every drop in the shop. Drink drink till your liver is drink.
Speaker A
[cheering] Mimi, what are you doing here? Shh. Let's go someplace where we can talk.
Speaker A
All right, in here. Mimi, let me look at you. Gosh, it's good to see you.
Speaker A
And you, too, Boare. Oh. Oh, Mimi. Gee, I I never expected this. I thought you might even be angry with me.
Speaker A
Angry with you? Whatever for. Well, you know, I kind of got you kicked out of France and everything. Oh, but you didn't mean to, did you?
Speaker A
Uh-huh. It was just a mistake. A silly little mistake. That's right. A mistake. And we all make mistakes, don't we?
Speaker A
[music] Yeah. Let's not stop now, huh? What are you doing in the Duke's clothes?
Speaker A
Oh, I was just taking his place for a while. You You know the Duke?
Speaker A
Sher Shay laugh. Thanks. Don't mind if I do. Well, so they chose you above all others to impersonate the irresistible Dishon.
Speaker A
That's right. Surprised? Not at all. I think the choice was obvious. You really think so?
Speaker A
Certainly. One can't hide quality in breeding. Yeah. When you got it, you got it. There's nothing you can do about it.
Speaker A
Oh, you're so right. One look is enough. That regal for runs in the family.
Speaker A
The Hapsburg chin. Got that from my mother. The bourbon nose. Got that from my father. Drank like a fish. Those dark flashing eyes, that soft, lustrous hair.
Speaker A
You should see it after a rinse. Oh, Mimi, let's forget the past and settle down together right here in Spain.
Speaker A
Just the two of us. That's the usual number, isn't it? I must admit, it's uh tempting.
Speaker A
Tempting? Why, it's say it is tempting, isn't it? Oh, I can see it all now. Just you and I alone in a sweet little cottage.
Speaker A
Yes, Mim. And perhaps in a year or two, there'll be a little whale in the nursery. Personally, I'd rather have children.
Speaker A
Oh, care, Mimi. I wish you'd take that sword off. Oh, I can't. I've got to look like the Duke. Always with his trusty blades. On guard. Zip. And he gets his man and his women too.
Speaker A
I wonder how he does it. Oh, it's simple. All you have to do is hold it like that. Extend it.
Speaker A
On guard. Yeah, that's right. Now, you feather brain powder duster. Mimi. Mimi. What's Come over you, Mimi.
Speaker A
Don't get excited. There, Mr. Barber. That'll teach you to get people banished from France. Ouch.
Speaker A
Mimi, I don't get it. You will. Mimi. Hi, you fellas. What is it? Halloween.
Speaker A
Oh, look. Look. Cut away that silverware. You get the floor ALL SLIPPERY. YOU'LL PAY FOR THAT. LOOK, IT'S ALL A MISTAKE. You got the wrong boy. You wouldn't want an innocent man's butt on your hands, would you? Yeah, I GUESS YOU
Speaker A
WOULD. YOU SEE HIM? NO, he's not there. Hey, give me your lunch, fellas. I tell you, you're getting the wrong man.
Speaker A
Hey, where you been? Well, I explain later. It's all right. Now, don't be afraid. We can handle him. Take an old sword. Get that frequ.
Speaker A
Well done, my dear. Thank you, General. In a few seconds from now, our gallant friend will be no more murdered. Oh, but General, you said, "Don't be naive, child. One city you more or less." Oh, but General, it's all
Speaker A
How about at you, Violet? How about at you again? You're fing with the master now. Take that, YOU SWINE. AND THAT AND THAT. AHA. GOTCHA. HA. That'll teach you, you scrging cutthroat. Gang up on me, will you? Retire. Four down, two to
Speaker A
go. That did it. Grace, are you all right? Oh, it was nothing. Just six of them and an evening sport.
Speaker A
Took him a long time to fall. Poor amateurs. This should happen under my protection.
Speaker A
Why? I promise an investigation. Say no more, my good man. The book is closed.
Speaker A
Grace, you'll be guarded every moment from now on. I summon help to repair your suite and clean up the debris hill.
Speaker A
Please. I didn't know they meant to kill you. I swear it. I give you my word.
Speaker A
Your word? A sweet little cottage with a garden full of daisies and me under them.
Speaker A
Oh, you must believe me. You must take your hands off me. I never want to see you again.
Speaker A
Oh, listen to me. Bare. Your life is in danger. You speak to me of danger. I say poop to danger.
Speaker A
Double poof. Hey, how do you like that? Six guys trying to make a pin cushion out of me.
Speaker A
Come on, get out of those clothes. I've had enough of this. Why, your highness?
Speaker A
Oh, don't your highness me, your highness. I want to be your loness again. What's this?
Speaker A
This is what you got me into. Deson, thank heaven you're here and safe. Now, come along. Get out of these things at once.
Speaker A
I'm afraid not. You see, I'm on route to Madrid. Madrid? I must see her once more, if only to say goodbye.
Speaker A
I forbid it. I ABSOLUTELY FORBID IT. HE ABSOLUTELY forbids a shame on you to risk the lives of thousands of your countrymen Mary for the sake of a romantic caprice.
Speaker A
Caprice? I've never loved like this before. Well, let's have a Caprice later. Come on, spot drive. Get off and take these darn long.
Speaker A
You're not very bright tonight. No. Would you have your bridegroom killed? Those men weren't after him. They're after me.
Speaker A
That's right. Yeah, you're darn [clears throat] right. That's why I'm getting out of these clothes.
Speaker A
All right, my friend. Go ahead. Change your clothes. Plunge your country into war. What do you mean?
Speaker A
I didn't expect this of a clever fellow like you, Bare. Me? What did I do?
Speaker A
A man with a chance to outwit the sharpest minds in Spain. I have. How? Now listen closely.
Speaker A
I'm listening. One of us is a duke and one of us is a barber. Right.
Speaker A
Right. But they don't know which is which. Oh, the morons. If we change clothes now and they kill me, what have they got?
Speaker A
The Duke. But if we stay the way we are and let them kill you, what have they got?
Speaker A
Nothing but a barber. I knew you'd see it. We stay the way we are.
Speaker A
Good man. Be the Duke. The Duke. See you in Madrid. And good luck. Say the Duke's a pretty smart fellow to figure a thing like that out. Now all they're going to kill is a crummy LITTLE BARBER. A BARB. A BARBER.
Speaker A
THAT'S ME. LONG LIVE THE DUKE. LONG LIVE THE DUKE. OH NO. [laughter] Well done, you cla Where's Maria?
Speaker A
She will not come down, sir. What did you tell her? The Duke has arrived.
Speaker A
The princess begs to inform you that out of loyalty to her countrymen, she will appear at the ceremony tomorrow and submit to marriage with the French Duke.
Speaker A
Until then, she wishes to be alone. Stubborn child. Tell her of my displeasure. Don't let her out of your sight.
Speaker A
Where is that, Desaw? How can a man forsake the honor of his country for just a woman? How can he do it?
Speaker A
How do you think I feel waiting around here to get stabbed? What's that? Quick, put the wig on.
Speaker A
Yeah. Hurry. Flushed. Touche. Hurry. Flushed. Lay there and breathe. Hurry. Is his grace ready to receive the king's emissary?
Speaker A
Uh, no. His grace isn't quite ready. He'll require a few more moments. This is terrible. It's time for the presentation. What will I do, Booker?
Speaker A
What will I do? Oh, don't look at me. You? Oh, no. Do you think for one moment I present you to the king?
Speaker A
Yes, I do. [laughter] That would finish us. Yeah, especially me. I wouldn't present you to the lowest flea on the scurviest tale of the shaggiest MONGREL OF THE SH.
Speaker A
NO, not me. I Oh, my glad to see you. No, grace. Thank heaven you're here now. There's no time to lose. You must get out of those rags immediately.
Speaker A
Yeah, me too. No, no, no. He'll need the presentation suit. I've scarred the whole of Madrid.
Speaker A
Not a trace of her. As if the earth had swallowed her. Oh, forget her, sir. She's just another woman. Just another hank of hair, a smile, a piece of lace, a dimple. I tell you, sir, women are all alike.
Speaker A
Sensational. Oh, he's been a trial. They're dead. You arrived in time. You're good. DON, HUH?
Speaker A
OH, NO. Not again. Come on, DON. YOU'RE GRACE. WHERE YOU GOING? Don't worry. I'll be back.
Speaker A
Oh fine. Probably that girl again. The man's insane. Risking everything for a woman's love. Can it be that important?
Speaker A
How old are you? Looking for someone? You here? But how? No questions. I found you again, and that's all that matters.
Speaker A
Oh, why did you come here? Because I love you. I was a fool. I should have come here before. I might have known you'd be here for the wedding.
Speaker A
You might have known. Of course. Your mistress, a woman of her station. Where else would she go but to the royal wedding?
Speaker A
Yes, the royal wedding. We're not going to let this stupid display of pump interfere with us, are we?
Speaker A
I'm afraid I must go there. No, never. But my mistress, she'll be looking for I have a coach waiting. We'll leave tonight.
Speaker A
Oh, no. No, that's impossible. Nothing's impossible if you love me. I do. I do.
Speaker A
My mistress. Oh, please go quickly. Meet me here at midnight. No, please go. Midnight?
Speaker A
Yes. Yes. Only go. The king semisari. The king will receive the duke now. Yes. Tell his majesty we're on our way.
Speaker A
You bet. We're on our way in the opposite direction. Come on. No. H. Find the Duke. Bring him back. BRING HIM BACK AT ALL COSTS. I'll try and delay the proceedings.
Speaker A
Yeah, you delay the proceedings. I'll see you in about a month. Never thought I'd have a chance like this.
Speaker A
[music] [music] Kim. Strong wind. [music] He must have recovered. There's his grace now. Announce his grace.
Speaker A
Just passing through and I thought I looking for the powder room. I'd like to take a powder here. Uh, is Grace the Duke Desawn?
Speaker A
Did he say the Duke? Where? Oh, pardon me. The Duke. Did he? Where? Where'd you find him?
Speaker A
Why didn't you do They mean you be careful. Yeah. Well, me. Oh, you're blowing your wig. Goodbye.
Speaker A
We're trapped. Then you'll have to see it through. Well, I [music] don't feel it. I'm bowing out of this. If you leave, you'll be cut in bits. And if I stay, bigger chunks. You have no choice again.
Speaker A
Now remember, you're the darling of France. Yes, prince of the blood. Here, use my yarn.
Speaker A
It's court etiquette. Was out steer the king. Come. These things are for finding microbes.
Speaker A
Is it raining in here? I'm so sorry you're great. Oh, it's nothing at all. You're quer.
Speaker A
Come on. I can't see a thing in these glasses. You just do the best you can. You've got to use them.
Speaker A
Is that what they sent us? Yes, your majesty. What more bored? Disdainful. Little more right nostril.
Speaker A
You're dead. Very amusing, my dear Deshawn. Thank you, your honor. I mean, your majesty.
Speaker A
But then, Don Francisco has already warned me of your whimsical proclivities. Oh, your majesty. My whimsical proclivities are nothing much. They can't compare with my ludicrous.
Speaker A
So this is the fabulous Duke Duchand, the man whose cold steel and warm heart have captivated the continent. Too true.
Speaker A
Too too true. Your promise with the sword. A thousand men killed. Tell me, how do you do it?
Speaker A
Oh, it's nothing. Just a flick of the wrist. Ong guard thrust. two dozen roses to the widow.
Speaker A
And uh these stories of these uh hundreds of women quitting for your kisses in every corner of France. How do you do that?
Speaker A
I've got a fast horse to proceed. I regret, my boy, that Princess Maria is a trifle disposed and cannot join this evening celebration.
Speaker A
But I assure you, she will be present at her own wedding tomorrow. That's fine.
Speaker A
It's my first marriage, you know. I'd like to have all the trimmings. The minuette in honor of your country.
Speaker A
Oh, thank you. Countis, in the absence of the princess, my niece, Kis Velasquez, will serve as your partner. Do you object to the arrangement? Object.
Speaker A
It's the nicest arrangement I've had all day. Thank you. Shall we then? [music] And does his grace approve of what he sees in Spain?
Speaker A
His grace is beginning to Did you see that? He tapped me on the shoulder. A little harmless flirtation and my Alfredo will get that ambassadorship. Alfredo? What about my husband?
Speaker A
What about mine? Or mine? I must talk to you alone. Shall we say 11?
Speaker A
Well, why not? Later at your place. Say 11:30. 11:30? Oh, that's fine. That's fine. I must have a word with you about 11:45.
Speaker A
Yeah, 11:45 I just met. What time did you want? 11:30. 11:30. 11:45. Check your grace.
Speaker A
Midnight. I think you better have a talk with the Duke. While all this pampering, I say finish him. Slit his throat tonight while he sleeps.
Speaker A
Not so fast, my young friend. You forget you deal with Deshawn, a madman with a sword, a hot-headed, tempestuous fool.
Speaker A
Besides, my friends, though, Francisco has plans for the banquet, I don't think the good Duke will survive the second course.
Speaker A
What do you mean, stupid fawning women? They'll spoil everything. All right, my dear. You promise to be of help. Go out there, dance with him, [music] and make sure he attends the banquet tonight.
Speaker A
Yes, Jen. I might squeeze you in between the Marisa and the Duchess. I may have to take an apartment.
Speaker A
Well, look who's here and dancing at the Duke's reception. When did you get in court? How'd you get those clothes? And don't tell me.
Speaker A
Don't care. I must speak to you alone. Oh, I'm sorry. I'm all booked up.
Speaker A
Listen closely. You've got to leave Spain tonight. What's the matter? You're jealous. You're in danger.
Speaker A
This kind of danger I like. Whatever you do, don't go to that banquet tonight.
Speaker A
Well, don't be silly. It's in my honor. Oh, Bo Car. Listen to me. Run along, girl. You're beginning to bore me.
Speaker A
You're great. I'm sorry. I'm all filled up. Leave your name and address. I'll give you the first cancellation next.
Speaker A
What a racket. Well, he'll be there. Good. [applause] Well, where was I? Oh, yes. So I said to King Louie, I said, "Lou, always called him Lou." I said, "That's a funny mustache you've got. It makes me laugh."
Speaker A
And the king said, "It tickles the queen, TOO." [laughter] Do you get it? It tickles a queen, too.
Speaker A
It's tickles a little too fast for her. [music] That's better. Warm as wine. Every kiss is as warm as wine.
Speaker A
For the touch of your face on mine thrills me through. With your lips as warm as wine [singing] and your eyes with their apal shine, every dream that I dare design calls for you in the glo Love the [singing] love. [music]
Speaker A
Burning moments sweep me. Burning kisses keep me wanting even more [music] than before. Warm as wine is the flame at our sacred shrine.
Speaker A
May the love that is yours and mine stay warm as one. [applause] Your majesty, may I have the honor of proposing the first toast of the evening?
Speaker A
Certainly, General. Thank you. Ladies and gentlemen, if you please to the beloved sovereigns of our two great Oh, just one moment, please.
Speaker A
Lucky, his grace has no wine. I haven't. Oh, I thought it was white wine. Must be a hole in the glass.
Speaker A
If you please, your grace. Oh, no. No. I'm dancing and I have to drive your grace.
Speaker A
Really? Well, I enforce it. To the beloved sovereigns of our two great nations, Philip of Spain and Lou of France. May their wisdom endure and peace between us be everlasting.
Speaker A
What's the matter, your grace? Oh, not uh toasting your king. I Well, some wines don't agricate with me. I get a strawberry rash and break out in grapes. I This wine is not made from strawberries.
Speaker A
Yeah. Drink it or drink it. Oh, no strawberries. Well, [sighs] it probably needs a little sweetening. Just get a little sugar here.
Speaker A
Always helps. Now, [snorts] it's too sweet. Just whip it up a little. Quicks now. Ah, that's better. Now we toasting now.
Speaker A
Something wrong, the boy? Yeah, I just remembered I have a horse outside. I'm double parked. It's been fun.
Speaker A
[music] Oh, Mimi, you were right. I've been a fool. And so have I care.
Speaker A
Oh, Mimi. Say we've got to get out of here. Out of the palace. Out of Spain.
Speaker A
See, he doesn't leave the palace. All right. Come on. We'll never make it together. You go on alone.
Speaker A
What? And leave you behind? Never. Oh, but you must. I said never. But they'll cut you to pieces.
Speaker A
I'll send for you. [music] Look, I may never see you again, so you've got to do me a favor.
Speaker A
Anything will care. I want you to thank your folks. My folks for making you the way you are. The way you walk and the way you talk and the way you make me churn inside. Honest honey, every time I look at you, [music]
Speaker A
I'm buttermilk up to here. Oh, that sweet boat care. That first time I kissed you behind the onion sacks. Every little onion seemed to say to every other little onion, I love you. I sensed it, too.
Speaker A
Oh, I know I'm not good enough for you. I'm just a coward with water in my blood. But when I'm near you, it starts to boil and bubble. And every little bubble starts to bubble. Every little bubbles bubble bubbles. Honest Mimi, I'm
Speaker A
fizzing all over with love for you. I know it, darling. I fizzed a little myself.
Speaker A
Up there. Up there. [music] Quickly for your life. Oh, farewell, darling. Go. Go. Don't look back. Go.
Speaker A
I tell you, my dear, that nishand is encouraable. What's the meaning of this? Guards. Guards.
Speaker A
Take this man to his room and see that he doesn't leave it. Oh, darling, this is madness.
Speaker A
We must never be parted again. Oh, never. Never. Come, we must leave at once.
Speaker A
Oh, no, darling. We must wait until tomorrow. Tomorrow? Yes, it's better that way. Fearing the confusion of the wedding preparations, I can slip away without danger to either of us.
Speaker A
Danger? Well, who's going to worry about a lackey in a [clears throat] maze? Please tonight.
Speaker A
Please. My way. Tomorrow. It is. I'll go quickly now before they discover you. [music] Till tomorrow.
Speaker A
[music] Take him to the dungeon. Well, Maria, I warned you. Go to your room immediately.
Speaker A
Who are you? I understand this is the second time you molested the princess. Princess?
Speaker A
Princess? You mean she's Maria, Princess of Spain? This assumed innocence will do little to save your neck.
Speaker A
[laughter] I want the truth. Well, I assure you, his majesty won't consider this a laughing matter.
Speaker A
He will when he finds out who I am. Take me to the king at once.
Speaker A
Who are you? I'm the Duke Deshawn. Oh, this ring on my finger will identify me.
Speaker A
So it does. Come on, unpass these then. Uh, who's that clown upstairs? [music] Him?
Speaker A
That's Bokeer, my father. And to think I almost let him marry my princess. Come on, take me out of these, will you, please? [laughter] Well, well, well, well. Now, wouldn't it be embarrassing if his grace were to be
Speaker A
detained down here prisoner while tomorrow a barber marries the princess of Spain? Look, this has gone far enough. Our poor king will be greatly upset.
Speaker A
Water. I demand you let me out of here. Certainly, your grace. Certainly. Right after the war, the wedding will proceed as per schedule.
Speaker A
[music] [bell] Pain. Miserable roads. hostile country. You had to come to the wedding. Now, now it a nice friendly gesture.
Speaker A
Besides, you know how I am about weddings. Do you remember ours, Louie? Our wedding?
Speaker A
Ours? Of course I do. 40 years ago. Ah, my dear. You were the most beautiful, the most radiant woman in all France.
Speaker A
Oh, yes, my dear. you were when I look at you today. 40 years is a long time.
Speaker A
[bell] [bell] What happened? What are those bells? They told the art of marriage. Oh, I was hoping this place was on fire.
Speaker A
It isn't, is it? It's treason, I tell you. Treason. Treason or not, what happens if the Duke doesn't show?
Speaker A
How dare you? How dare you suggest such treachery? Above all else, the Duke Desan is a man of honor. And I tell you now, if he doesn't appear, honor is dead, virtue is dead, gallantry is dead.
Speaker A
And with us, that makes a fiveome. Thank heaven. Maybe it's he. Maybe it's him.
Speaker A
It ain't he, it's him. What's this? Your grace not dressed with all the guests assembled for the ceremony.
Speaker A
Well, there's been a slight delay. A member of our party has not yet arrived.
Speaker A
An important member. Well, there won't be a wedding without him. Oh, his grace means the wedding won't be the same without him.
Speaker A
I see. I thought perhaps that the delay was occasioned by that peculiar incident this morning.
Speaker A
Oh, no. What incident? Oh, nothing. Nothing at all. Just some poor scoundrel dressed as a lackey shouting to high heavens that he was the Duke Des.
Speaker A
Duke Duchon? Oh, that's impossible. I've been here all the time. Of course. Poor devil.
Speaker A
What did you do to him? Oh, incidentally, he had your ring. Where is he? I mean, obviously stolen from your grace.
Speaker A
What did you do with him? What do you suppose we would do with a lackey caught impersonating royalty?
Speaker A
I asked you first. We stand him up against the wall. The men raised their rifles and bing.
Speaker A
Bing. What a horrible thought. Well, I have one or two things I must attend to if I don't see you again until later. Good luck, Coach.
Speaker A
Yeah, and I have a few things. I'll just be not nervous, your grace. Oh, no. No, it's just nothing.
Speaker A
You won't need this. No, I've already done my nails. Well, let's get along. How about getting dressed first?
Speaker A
Oh, is it going to be formal? Violet, allow me your grace. Yes, sir. Feel great.
Speaker A
Is this the formal job? Yes, sir. So tight. Who is it? The king and queen of France.
Speaker A
King of France. If your majesties will proceed to the throne room, I'll inform King Phillip of your arrival.
Speaker A
Thank you. Also notify the Duke Dean. It shall be done, your majesty. I must see the Duke.
Speaker A
Sorry, he's busy with the general. Oh, general. One moment. The king and queen of France have arrived for the wedding. Louie here.
Speaker A
Well, what a stroke of luck. Now, your men know what to do. The moment the barber marries Maria, they produce a shand.
Speaker A
Excellent. General. Yes. What do you mean produce desant? Isn't it? You're very clever, my dear, aren't you?
Speaker A
I don't know what your little game is, but it's over. We have the real des.
Speaker A
Oh, no. Oh, yes. This is a wonderful surprise, Louie. And I must admit, you're a brave man.
Speaker A
Thank you very much. I brave man. Spain is an armed camp, Louie. 50,000 men waiting to march. And I admit quite frankly that I've been sorely tempted to give the order.
Speaker A
What do you mean? The Duke Desawn. Desawn? Yes. Of course. I I realize he's a he's a splendid swordsman and all that, but tell me, are all your young noblemen so so peculiar?
Speaker A
But Philillip, I swear I don't understand. Desawn is one of our most charming most his highness, the Duke Desawn. Look, fellas, let's not rush into this thing after all.
Speaker A
I'm a little warm. I better go to the front door and get some. If it pleases your grace, most debonire, your majesty.
Speaker A
Oh, thank heaven you've arrived in turn. Desawn, my boy. Delighted to see you. Oh, but I Lou, what is you better say hello to the Duke, my dear? What?
Speaker A
Say hello to the Duke. Oh, my dear boy. Oh, let's not overdo this. I mean, uh, you remember me? I used to never look better in your life, my boy.
Speaker A
Never. Never. And if I'm lucky, I might even live to be 30. We're not going through with this, are we? I mean, I, uh, that is the Duke. I FEELING NERVOUS, ARE WE? WHEN I THINK of all the times he scoffed at other
Speaker A
people's marriage. Yeah, PLEASE. DON'T YOU THINK? [laughter] BUT THEN he chests at scars that never felt a wound.
Speaker A
How true. Who said that? Shakespeare. Oh, well then let let him MARRY HER. HUH?
Speaker A
[laughter] WHAT? WIT. You don't suppose he's really the Duke? Well, I certainly intend to find out.
Speaker A
Are you quite ready to start the ceremony? This is, of course, by all means. We mustn't keep the love birds apart by instant.
Speaker A
Is that the man I'm going to marry? Don't you think that's carrying patriotism a little too far?
Speaker A
Come, moment, sire, please. I can't marry her. You've got to. It's all our nicks.
Speaker A
But I love Mimi. Shut up. Mimi? Who's Mimi? You remember Mimi Pador? Oh, yes, of course.
Speaker A
Mimi Louie, shut up. Tell me, your majesty, is you really a good barber? Of course he is. Best I ever had.
Speaker A
Haven't had a good shave since he good. Why I can hone a razor and just Thank you, your majesty. Our carriage is outside. We'll wait 2 minutes. If you can't make it, France will always be grateful.
Speaker A
Good luck. But your majesty. Shall we proceed? Your grace. No, we won't. I've got a mind of my own.
Speaker A
And I say, well, when you put it that way. All right, bring them out.
Speaker A
Where are you taking me? Has the wedding started yet? Where are you? Never mind. Get upstairs quickly.
Speaker A
you. Well, you're the girl you you rob. Look, I What are you doing here?
Speaker A
I believe I'm to be your bride, your grace. You are? Oh, that's too bad.
Speaker A
Till death do us part. They're working on that. Join hands. Give you the ring.
Speaker A
The ring. Oh, I love naturally. Join hands. The purpose of this assembly here on this most solemn occasion and in the presence of their most look at the wedding is to join together in holy wedlock his excellency escaped the blood the Duke Dawn
Speaker A
wait HOLD GUARDS STOP THE KING and queen of France general Francisco what is the meaning of this outrageous behavior I accuse Lou of France of deliberately trying to p off on the princess of Spain. Not a prince of the blood, not
Speaker A
the duke the shawn, but nu care, a common French barber. Don't call me common.
Speaker A
The man lies. Yes, you bet he does. Just for that, I'm not going to marry anybody. Nothing personal.
Speaker A
Come on, chain. We're stuck. This man is Mr. Jub, a common. Are you going to accept that?
Speaker A
Well, a man's entitled to an opinion. Slap him back. Well, you're lucky I haven't got a sword.
Speaker A
You keep out of this. General Francisco, I have long been aware of your plots against the peace of our country.
Speaker A
Yes, but this time you have gone too far. Desand, you will be doing Spain a great honor if you will put an end to this scoundrel with a Spanish sword.
Speaker A
Oh, but sire, are you sure you want to do this? Huh? After all, it's awfully one-sided nonsense. Oh, God. Carrying thrust and his two dozen roses to the widow. Yeah, but the choice long stem ones, they're out of season. LET'S WAIT TILL SPRING.
Speaker A
OH GOD. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. HUNGER. I got it. Let's see. Oh yeah.
Speaker A
[music] What the hell? There it goes. I'm gone. [music] Oh, I'm sorry. I HOOKED YOU HERE. HUH?
Speaker A
[music] HERE YOU ARE. TOO LATE. All [music] right, Francisco. Thanks, the Duke. GET HIM, DESAN. GET HIM. DUKE.
Speaker A
YES, the man I sent to marry your daughter. Duke Dishon. Oh care, darling. Are you hurt? Your arms? Your legs?
Speaker A
I don't know. We'll take inventory later. Well, hurry. I have a carriage waiting with a nurse.
Speaker A
Give me my paw. There, sire. Is the man who would rule Spain after him.
Speaker A
[music] Oh, hurry their actress. [music] What are we going to do? We can't stay here. We can't go back to France.
Speaker A
Don't worry. We'll find a place. There must be some country where you can die of old age. Here.
Speaker A
[music] You're next, Mr. Washington. Good morning, Book Air. Morning, sir. The usual. If you please.
Speaker A
Well, you might have Mrs. Bulare manicure my nails. Yes, I'm Mimi. How are you today, Mr. Washington?
Speaker A
Splendid, thank you. My You have been neglecting them, haven't you? I'm afraid I have.
Speaker A
Something special going on today, Mr. Washington? Well, Jefferson and the boys are cooking up some sort of a declaration or something. I thought I might go and watch them sign it.
Speaker A
By the way, you better have these boots touched up a bit. Yes, a boy. Shine boy.
Speaker A
Yes, sir. Right away, sir. Thank you, sir. This could only happen in America. Look what happened on THE WAY OVER.
Speaker A
[music] [music] THAT WAS
Topics:A Gentleman by Mistake1943 movieclassic movie noirFrench courtroyal marriagepolitical intrigueromanceKing LouisDuke DishonMadame Pompadour
