Speaker A
Terry Terry Berry Library. Terry Berry Terry Berry Library. What the hell was that? I shot the cat with my teeth. [laughter] Now hiding.
A hilarious compilation of funny TikToks featuring quirky moments, pets, family antics, and relatable everyday humor.
Ask about this video. Answers come from its transcript only — with the timestamp, so you can check them.
Generated from the transcript and can be wrong — check the timestamp.
Key Takeaways
- Humor often arises from everyday relatable situations and family dynamics.
- Pets and their antics are a recurring source of comedy.
- Unexpected moments and candid reactions enhance the entertainment value.
- Short, varied clips keep the audience engaged with quick humor.
- The compilation format appeals to a broad audience looking for light entertainment.
What the video covers
- The video is a compilation of various funny TikTok clips with humorous and relatable content.
- Includes pet antics, family interactions, and everyday life mishaps.
- Features spontaneous laughter, unexpected glitches, and playful banter.
- Showcases quirky observations like unusual shopping experiences and funny conversations.
- Highlights moments of playful teasing, jokes about relationships, and social situations.
- Includes humorous takes on common scenarios like Target trips, car troubles, and holiday preparations.
- Captures candid reactions and funny facial expressions.
- Mixes short skits, candid moments, and viral TikTok trends.
- The tone is lighthearted and entertaining, aimed at making viewers laugh.
- The video is in English and includes a mix of spoken dialogue and background music.
Full Transcript — Download SRT & Markdown
Speaker A
Hi. I like my men how I like my yarn. Thick and quick. Oh god.
Speaker A
No [screaming] it's glitching. It's so funny. [laughter] You need to take a picture of your dog taking a dump right now. Frame it and put it above your toilet. This is freaking genius. I love it.
Speaker A
[music] 2 L milk for $8.50. No wonder my dad didn't come back. Hold on. Let me see what he got on his [ __ ]. What do you— What do you— I don't know what kind of game they're
Speaker A
playing here, but uh challenge accepted. Welcome to PT City. Nobo Hasmo Arty for less. Oh my gosh.
Speaker A
I'mma start it off slow. I'mma scope the scenery out. Watch out. I just had the most exciting day today.
Speaker A
Just kidding. I um tried to catch a train. Just realized he doesn't want to play with you, Vicki.
Speaker A
I can't do nights. Excuse me. I can't do nights. This is all I got.
Speaker A
This is all I got. You know what ruins a Target trip so quickly? I got you on camera. [laughter] Rosie, why— why are you up there?
Speaker A
Oh god. Hard hat. I don't care. No, you got to get it. Listen, I just need to show you why guy pajama pants are better.
Speaker A
You can make him a onesie and just, you know. Oh, hi. This looks like a good one. What made you pick it? Oh, you know, it just really soaks me crazy with the house catching on by and everything. Uh, I think one of the
Speaker A
craziest things is that my dad almost got cremated twice. What the hell? This winter, make sure your car has a battery that's built to last. Duralast.
Speaker A
Get in the zone. I'm telling you, Dad, it'll fit. [laughter] Look what happened to this one. It wasn't meant to happen.
Speaker A
All right. So, everyone pull out your uh laptop. Really? You want to play with my toys or do you want to do TikTok videos?
Speaker A
What do you want to do? I want to play with toys. Okay, let's go play with toys.
Speaker A
Let's go. Yeah. Jackpot. You knew this was coming. [laughter] [laughter] Shut up. It is not.
Speaker A
Yes, it is. No, it's not. Yes, it is. Look it. This is how cold it is in my room.
Speaker A
Cans of spices like this cinnamon are so hard to— I'm pretty sure you know this, but just in case, that's not a can. It's not called salamon and that's not how you open it.
Speaker A
Oh my god. Go to unlock her phone. Why is this your wallpaper? Chicken and fries. You made it that.
Speaker A
PSA for the Christmas shopping parents. I bought this for my daughter last year. I thought these were fairies. Uh-uh.
Speaker A
Strippers. And on deeper inspection, the whole pattern is strippers. Okay. Seriously, who ate my puppy child?
Speaker A
Yeah, seriously. Who ate it? Like, you won't be mad. Just tell us who. Gave me an eighth of a point cuz I drew a picture of a rat.
Speaker A
[laughter] Hey babe. Yeah. What did you tell me you said to that kid at school the other day that called you short?
Speaker A
I said yeah without the S and the R. Oh, that is gorgeous. Oh, god damn it, Nola.
Speaker A
Well, it's still gorgeous. Mine is her taking a poop. My sister asked if I want to go out. I'm like, "Yeah, girl. Come pick me up." This is what picked me up.
Speaker A
Like girl, I got a lot of kids. Then a punt. Then we reached the end of the half and then the second half started with a punt.
Speaker A
Open can. Open can. Open can. Open can. Baby boy. Baby girl. Chicken nugies. [snorts] Look how cute we are in our matching sweaters.
Speaker A
[sighs] Huh. Looks like somebody's dog might have took him out. Bet he looks like an idiot.
Speaker A
[sighs] YES. YES. PUT IT IN. PUT IT IN. PUT IT IN. PLEASE. I'mma start it off slow. I'mma scope the scenery out. Watch out.
Speaker A
You don't know when I'm coming, dummy. Look. Happy 25th. Make a wish. Oh my god. One blow. You windy little thing.
Speaker A
[laughter] Tilt it down a little. There you go. Ready? What the pencil? Oh my god, Jacob. She did that to you, J.
Speaker A
Yeah, he's a dead kid. I'mma start it off slow. I'mma scope the scenery out. Watch out.
Speaker A
You don't know when I'm coming, dummy. When the machine takes your dollar and he ain't got another one.
Speaker A
[laughter] Siri. Hey, Siri. Set a timer for 15 minutes. All right. How are you guys doing?
Speaker A
So, what did you say about Nancy? Mom, she doesn't like the shrimp. [laughter] I'm going to pee my pants. I got to go to the bathroom.
Speaker A
See this? [laughter] Y'all, my mama told me, "Do I want a shot?" And look what she trying to give me. This is blasphemy.
Speaker A
I ordered a sweater for my dog and it's just a fish anyway. Oh yeah.
Speaker A
Uh-huh. Uh-huh. [laughter] That dog. I love it. Did you wet it? Mhm. Oh, the Morphe by Manny MUA.
Speaker A
Wow. I love it. Tell you this right now. I can't tell you who's who when they mix up like this. Poor you.
Speaker A
This is [snorts] tough. Open the bath first. [laughter] Okay. I'm going to Great Clips to uh get my haircut. This is the before. Not too bad. Not too shabby. All right.
Speaker A
Somebody ate some. Was it you, Mavis? Was it you? Was it you? Didn't work out.
Speaker A
Lennon, who's this dog? Who was that? It's mommy. It's not me. Over here shopping with the baby and I realized, dude, she took the shoe from— Oh my god. From Baby Foot Locker.
Speaker A
Jade, am I the only one who finds it really funny that the symbol for the devil in a lot of cultures is a goat? Like someone looked at a goat and was like, "You sketchy bastard. There's evil afoot,
Speaker A
guys." [laughter] Generated summaries effectively capt. Did you do this? This is Vera Wang. Who that is? She do nails. I need to get my nails done.
Speaker A
That's it. I'm calling the police. I ain't getting no popo. Call the popo ho. Call the popo ho.
Speaker A
BYE. BYE. You okay? Huh? Yeah. Huh? Yes. [laughter] When you take your car for an oil change and they call you and told you they crashed your car.
Speaker A
What? Finally my Hello. [laughter] [laughter] Suddenly got quiet. I am the victim. Don't you understand?
Speaker A
Here, look at me. This is the longest braid where I know she gets down. She do not play. Look at all the dandruff, girl. She had these [ __ ] in for 8 months. Look at the dandruff. Damn.
Speaker A
Bro, here. I'm going to give this to you. Flick them into the thing. No, I can't.
Speaker A
Please, for mom. Okay. Talking to the ducks at the front door of the apartment.
Speaker A
[laughter] Daddy messed it up all on camera. Pick it up. Oh my gosh. This the life of this.
Speaker A
This is wrong. [snorts] So, are you excited about the concert? I'm so excited. I've been wanting to see him all year. [laughter] Oh, wait. So, anybody that don't really believe I'm really standing on water, this is what it— this is what I
Speaker A
mean by standing on business. WHOA. NOTHING. OH, I mean I like this look though. I think it's good. [laughter] Just, you know, sometimes just too much cannon, right? Sometimes you just need the smaller cannon, you know, 'cause sometimes that just hits the right spot
Speaker A
versus this. I don't know how anybody can handle this much cannon. Way too much cannon.
Speaker A
Don't move. Oh my god, I have a [ __ ] mustache. Oh my god. And it's like thick.
Speaker A
One ticket, please. Okay. For what movie? YOU'RE A CHICKEN. NO. WHY DOES everybody think that I'm scared of girls?
Speaker A
Because you're a chicken. You're a chicken. Coo kach kacha kach. When your friend meets a guy on a dating app and goes on a date with him, she's afraid to be kidnapped. So you drive an hour and 15 minutes out of the way to
Speaker A
make sure she doesn't to an Olive Garden. She's doing well. She's doing well. Um, hey, welcome to Burger King where you rule. What can I get for you today?
Speaker A
Still looking, bro. Okay, let me know when you're ready. This is my mother, guys. She would take a bullet for me. Doesn't trust me with her Tupperware.
Speaker A
Chicken in a bag. Prowl P. You asked your husband to get the Christmas decor out of the attic.
Speaker A
Oh my god. Hey. How on earth do we have this? When we have this and this and that and more [laughter] at Target and I'm looking at the stockings and this is what I sick.
Speaker A
Yo, this family makes me want to murder people. Why doesn't your upper lip move while talking?
Speaker A
It doesn't, does it? If I talk like this, is that better for you, Tom?
Speaker A
Oh no. [laughter] I lived in um I was born in Tennessee and I lived in um Hello there.
Speaker A
Not. My son made me take my croc out of sp
Speaker A
I ordered this apple thing because it is a apple thing. That's what I was in the mood for. Is that cheese on this apple thing? I hate to inform you that there's cheese on the apple tree.
Speaker A
All right, I got you. I got you. [laughter] I don't know how many of those are, but if you stink that much, bro, wash yourself. My new license just came in the mail and I'm happy to share that I
Speaker A
am legally a woman now. Wasn't by my decision, but clearly the woman at the DMV saw something in me that I didn't see in myself. Regardless, I'm excited to see where this new journey as a woman takes me.
Speaker A
One second. Sorry. It's all right. It's all right. Don't worry. How to find my antisocial dad at a wedding.
Speaker A
Hide mush. [laughter] Wait, but it doesn't go on the other side of that one.
Speaker A
No, that's why I said that's the exception. Why? I don't know. I didn't write the instructions. WHY ARE YOU ASKING ME? Cuz I'm Cuz everything's made in China.
Speaker A
Yeah maybe. Need the world to see this [ __ ] [ __ ] be when they see you on a block.
Speaker A
[laughter] The walk to Smith. Turn around. Do it. Turn around. Turn around. Hit the corner.
Speaker A
[laughter] Oh, I need this one cuz I want to relocate. Let's see. Give it to me.
Speaker A
Okay. What state is that? Damn. I DON'T KNOW THE MAP like that. Is that Oregon?
Speaker A
I have Open your mouth then, mama. Thank you, y'all. My cousin said my Christmas tree looks sad. I don't really think it's giving that. She might be hating, but you tell me.
Speaker A
Oh, sticky toffee pudding. That sounds nice. Peppermint. Yum. Cookies and cream. Sticky bun. Oh, wow. These sound great.
Speaker A
Um um got to keep my toddler happy at the grocery store. Please do not leave your child unattended [laughter] while riding the ride.
Speaker A
Come on. Enjoy the ride. [laughter] [ __ ] jail. What's your plan? Well, my transmission in my car is basically boom. So, I'm going to run my car into a tree. Insurance pay for it.
Speaker A
One of those be great, right? Should be. I never said I was depressed. I'm lonely, but I'm having the most fun of my goddamn life.
Speaker A
Go. [laughter] MANUKA literally crying over my nails right now [laughter] cuz they're so ugly.
Speaker A
Oh my god. Okay, this is what I wanted. Okay, this is the pastels and this is what I got.
Speaker A
Happy birthday. [laughter] What What does it say? Uh I didn't have a four or a five and I couldn't tell. So I made the uh eight kind of an ambiguous number. [laughter] Tell me you have a sister without
Speaker A
telling me that you have a sister. I literally sent my sister a picture of a bug in my eye and from miles away she fends me this.
Speaker A
[laughter] Oh, let's see your numbers. Oh my gosh. Hold it up, Joey. I chose 11.
Speaker A
Smile. Put it on your body, Joe, and smile. What number are you, Joey? Joey, we can't see your number.
Speaker A
I'm still eating my Thanksgiving leftovers. I don't care what y'all say. Got the dressing, the mac, the greens, the chicken.
Speaker A
Mhm. My stomach hurt. What? I save my stuff. Boy, this food's still good. Y'all can't find Rumpus anywhere.
Speaker A
Maybe I should take out this pile of trash and then keep looking for him.
Speaker A
What I'm so much tea in the house. This This is sauce. This This is sauce. this. Well, you got dips and dressings, but at least we have sauce. I want to show you guys the pizza that I just got.
Speaker A
I'm not complaining. It's just I've never seen a pizza like this. It's two in one.
Speaker A
My pants ripped today and I was working and this guy I was standing with this guy and I was like, "Oh my god." Like my pants just ripped and he dead ass just goes.
Speaker A
Do me a favor. Hold that. Okay. What is that? The world's smallest [music] Barbie.
Speaker A
World's smallest Barbie. That's what it says. Then uh tell me what the hell that is.
Speaker A
That's a good point. [laughter] [ __ ] Move. No, it doesn't look like me.
Speaker A
Just move, please. [laughter] [laughter] All right. Left foot green, left hand blue. [clears throat] [screaming] [laughter] I told myself, I know times is hard, but if it's one thing about a food pantry they going to give you, they going to give you some
Speaker A
damn That was empty. Peanut butter. And it's going to be a brand you've never seen before, a day in your damn life. But they going to give you some peanut butter.
Speaker A
Can you hold? I want to drive. Okay. It's No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. You can't drive. You were driving with the manor.
Speaker A
No, there's no way the cops are going to pull us over. Two of the look great though.
Speaker A
Two of them. The first and this one look good. Good, good, good, good, good.
Speaker A
I'm going to read you your rights. If you have any questions, you uh you tell me.
Speaker A
Okay. Can I just be shocked? Sing the donkey song. Jiggity jiggy. Jiggity Christmas. La, [music] we have entered a problem with Dave. Um, this chunky monster of a boy.
Speaker A
He's not like he's not overeating. I know that. Look at [laughter] that's the best I could do. Wait, did you want my movie?
Speaker A
Hey, ask for Cut Zero, not Zero the Coke. [laughter] What you doing? Can you please not pull my eyelash off?
Speaker A
Can you please not pull my eyelash off, Jersey? Jersey Rain left me to die.
Speaker A
The lady kicked me out. Why? What did you do? Okay, please stop until you got them glasses on.
Speaker A
[laughter] Don't take them off now. up here in my grandfather's garage that has since passed away. This is the line coming in from outside for the phone line. And when he didn't want to be bothered, he just turned the switch off
Speaker A
going to the phone jack. CeCe on [laughter] and then off. Did it on purpose.
Speaker A
I still got another one of these. We thought it was a sock. It's [laughter] already in there.
Speaker A
Oh, is it Barbie styling? You know, it's really kill it already. Ma, what you doing? You don't need to take no leftover cake for my ice cream now. Mind your business. Go on now, little boy.
Speaker A
Go mind your business now. You ain't grown folks business. You don't need that cake.
Speaker A
Don't tell me what I need. Now, this for the house and this for me.
Speaker A
[laughter] Right. Way better than mine. Nobody. Okay, cool. I did my job. Next. Next.
Speaker A
Next. That [ __ ] right skipping. Hell yeah, bro. See, I'll be comfortable as [ __ ] NEXT. [laughter] Let me do it. Let me do it.
Speaker A
Next. Oh [screaming and crying] [ __ ] It's a top. This is a top.
Speaker A
Yeah. You sure this is not a pants? [laughter] So this just went half of your back.
Speaker A
No, it goes the other Yeah, it goes halfway down. But you have to tie that around your body.
Speaker A
How many side this? Yeah. [laughter] [laughter] Give it a kiss. [bell] And this is why you don't believe everything that you see on the internet.
Speaker A
She's literally my cousin and my mom put her on there. So yeah. And then another I'mma pull the plug help.
Speaker A
Something that absolutely baffles me are the stop signs here. Like that's a normal one. That's just stop, right? So then why does that one look like it's like stop? Like there's literally a normal one right there and then it says
Speaker A
stop. How do you know what's good FOR ME? THAT'S MY OPINION. [laughter] OKAY. OKAY.
Speaker A
HEY, have you ever seen a grandma do this? DOMINIC SEEN A GRANDMA. HEY, GOOD MORNING CHURCH FAMILY. HOW YOU DOING THIS MORNING? YEAH. On the way to meet brother Luther for church.
Speaker A
Praise the Lord. Praise the Lord. Hey, so I've had enough and I'm just going to have to go ahead and say it. As you can see, there is not a living, breathing soul in this little store, except for
Speaker A
me. I walked in here, got my little snacks, and checked myself out. $9 for two things is crazy, but whatever. Then they have the nerve to ask for a tip.
Speaker A
For what? A tip for who? Is it for me? Am I getting a discount on my bill? Huh?
Speaker A
[laughter] Oh my god. That's what I was trying to do. Is that what would be [laughter] Y'all, I had this jacket for how many years? Two. What? And I'm thinking there's no hoodie.
Speaker A
Like, what is this? Why don't you Wow. Wow. [laughter] Dad, go on. Can you stop? [laughter] So, I just picked up my cat from being spayed [laughter] and she keeps staring at me.
Speaker A
She keeps staring at me like this. She's been doing that for 10 minutes. [snorts] She won't stop [laughter] me.
Speaker A
I got this new lazy girl thing. Look at this. So, I'm going to put my work from home stuff here, right? And then I can literally just go like this.
Speaker A
go like this and I can work literally lay in my bed all day and work from home. [laughter] I don't even I can't wait to set up my equipment. I cannot make this up. I just went to get my passport photos taken and
Speaker A
this meant I swear to God he edited my photo post was closed. So I went to Korea post which I didn't know was a thing until I searched it up and guys he edited my passport photos. This is
Speaker A
Facetune. He actually facetuned my face. I cannot believe this. This is too funny. Things first um the introduction. So I know we're talking about the concept of Lordy which talks about basically how we develop um our educational environment
Speaker A
as students like how we Mommy [music] [music] [music] No, don't say that. So grateful for what I had.
Speaker A
I had Oh my god. Kyla, did you get veneers? Did you get veneers? Your teeth look so different. No, I didn't. No, I grew these teeth out of my skull.
Speaker A
You're fine, dude. What are you looking at? Why you're here now? Come in. Where you been? H come in.
Speaker A
My mom called me up the other day and she's like, "Do you have a Christmas tree?" And I'm like, "No, I live in a small apartment in the city." And she's like, "You can't raise a baby like this.
Speaker A
She's not going to feel like a part of the family until she's had her first Christmas." This is the baby in question. And yeah, my mother sent me the Christmas tree because she's uh disappointed in my parenting skills.
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coming out. You okay? Hey yo, hold up. You put that on your Tik Tok and a teacher looking at us. That's what we see.
Speaker A
What's that in the water? What animal is in the water? You weren't even listening to the [crying] story, Milo.
Speaker A
Brown bear. Brown bear. What do you see? So, I'm at HomeGoods [music] and I see this thing. I'm like, what is that?
Speaker A
Who is buying this? Like, who? Here's another one. Oh my god. I like the way they fix it between Y'all better come up here and get one of these.
Speaker A
What's that? It's a chicken salad. All right. So, I'm a preschool teacher, right? And I have acne. And the kids love walking up to me and being like, "Why do you have red dots on your face?" They they love to humble me. They love
Speaker A
to humble me. So, this this girl comes up to me today and she's like, "Miss." And I'm like, "Yeah, what's up?" She's like, "I drew you." I was like, "Oh, that's so sweet. Can I see?" I literally have I just ran out of these
Speaker A
bags. I have had these for the entire 3 years that I've lived here. There's 120 of them and they're gone. So, I'm going to have to call Target and pick them up.
Speaker A
Gabs. Gav. What? when the box of trash bags lasted longer than your last relationship.
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[laughter] I took a cute little picture of my son at the Christmas tree farm the other day, but he was not in cute clothes. He was just in play clothes and I thought I'll just chunk it in AI and put
Speaker A
something cute on him. And I just want y'all to see how amazing Photoshop AI really is. So, this is the picture before and this is it after.
Speaker A
He uh adorable. This is a wall hanger for sure. All right. Am I on it?
Speaker A
She's getting set. Yep, you're on it, Mom. I'm on it. Yeah, you're on the tag.
Speaker A
Okay. And ready, set, GO. That's a 30y old lady there. Yeah. Name a woman.
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What? Name a woman. A woman? Yeah. What do you mean? Name a woman. What does that mean?
Speaker A
What's Answer the question. What do you mean? Just name a woman. A woman? Yes.
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Why? Just do it. Any woman? Yes. Taylor Swift. He's You want to know what it's like living with a man?
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This This is what it's like. We could have used this to open the bag, but we decided to slice open the cheese.
Speaker A
Stay away. I'm going get in the car, honey. Jesus. Okay, bird. I'm not going to use.
Speaker A
You look lost. Cuz I've never learned how to use chapstick. I think you're doing it wrong.
Speaker A
This don't look appealing. Oh my gosh. [music] customer states. Tire is wobbling. TPMS sensor is messed up.
Speaker A
TPMS sensor nonfunctional. Wait, that's not it. But wait, there's more. 116. We have a new record, ladies and gentlemen.
Speaker A
My girls out there, I don't know if anyone's ever used a pair of socks to tan, but I didn't have a mitt. So, I put two socks on my hand and I tan with them. And yesterday, Dion went out and
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unfortunately [laughter] put on that pair of socks. Unfortunately, who uses socks to tan? [gasps] I know.
Speaker A
It's a I know. Sheen is down bad cuz I just got my dress and I'm wondering why in the world did they sew tracks to my dress.
Speaker A
Like I thought they were feathers but they legit this is hair. This is they sewed it to the dress.
Speaker A
I can't wear this. God, I always struggle with like doing one of these. So, I'm going to try and do my first attempt where it's successful because I'm sick of this [ __ ] Oh my god, [ __ ]
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Yeah. Nothing's going on in my life. I don't have any drama. Should I make some drama?
Speaker A
So, my landlord installed these concrete uh like bumper things for our cars in the parking lot. And they have these like little stakes poking out of them.
Speaker A
Um which is how the front part of my bumper got ripped off. And here are the receipts. Here's what I said. because I sent him the picture of my car and I was like and he said, "I can easily put those in
Speaker A
the ground." Then why didn't you when you installed them? Then why didn't you? Oh [ __ ] guys.
Speaker A
[screaming] THIS SO it right here. That was so close. Not really sure. It wasn't there. I have a feeling holy [singing] night. [music] The stars are bright. You [laughter] keep [laughter] I didn't get going the right way. Oh,
Speaker A
holy [singing] night. The stars are bright. Please, you keep laughing. [music] They're going to look good.
Speaker A
[music] Wait, they're going to look up. [laughter] Well, tell them Carl is at you.
Speaker A
Oh, you had one more roller. Come up. Hang on. [laughter] Excuse me. Rest in peace to the chicks that's dying to be me.
Speaker A
[laughter] Oh yeah, that's mine. Hello Oh okay. Hello. Your sister I got this for my dad cuz he always says he doesn't need anything for Christmas.
Speaker A
Look, it says if any of this is swollen, please consult a psychiatrist immediately because it's nothing.
Speaker A
For the person who has everything, open the pack and be enthralled when nothing happens. Allow nothing to flow through your mind and go through your soul. [laughter] I live at home in my 20s. Of course, I don't pay rent.
Speaker A
Of course, she lives at home in her 20s and she thinks that this is the Ritz Carlton.
Speaker A
Yeah, she lives at home and thinks this is a hotel. She lives at home in her 20s and wants to go shopping whenever she feels like it.
Speaker A
She lives at home, thinks she runs things. Of course, she lives at home in her 20s and says she's going to cook dinner and then I end up fixing everything. Of course, she lives at home and she thinks
Speaker A
that my downstairs is a hoopa lounge for like 20 minutes. What are you guys talking about?
Speaker A
I can't drink water anymore or he grabbed me. Oh my god. Yeah, it's been rough.
Speaker A
Can you [laughter] now I'm mad about how expensive it is to service a snowball. I should have just bought a new one. I try to tell Everybody [laughter] professional athletes on my team like my fantasy league's all so many injuries this year.
Speaker A
That kind of year. Cut. Yeah. Let's take them off. Come on. Yes. It's time to take them off.
Speaker A
Jesus. Look at look at my skirt. Take Come on. That's a great question. Let me think how I want to answer this. It's yes or no.
Speaker A
Okay, guys. So, for English, we're doing like a a movie trailer project and I have to be some old lady in a wedding dress. So, I'm wearing my mom's wedding dress. Um, I'm snatched.
Speaker A
And so, this is my cutie dress. Um, don't laugh. Can you breathe? Not really.
Speaker A
I made it pretty tight. So, yeah. This is my cutie. Don't look. All right. Come on.
Speaker A
All right. I don't know what kind of weed they got in Denver, but it's something strong enough to make these people think they can get that mattress [laughter] in that car. Now we're trying the back seat.
Speaker A
The optimism is inspiring. Well, I'll be ganged. [laughter] I mean, sardines smashed in there. God bless. I hope they don't have to go far. You guys, the saga continues.
Speaker A
What the actual f is going on over here? Positive. Oh my god. Shut up.
Speaker A
Oh my god. What? What? Nothing. Tell me. What is it? Nothing. Tell me. What is What does mommy need?
Speaker A
Um, help. [laughter] No. need. What does mommy need? A husband. No. What? I know what you need.
Speaker A
What does mommy need? Friendly. [laughter] I know what you need. What do I need?
Speaker A
Kids. No. I know what you need. What I need? Helpful. Do you want me to tell you what I need?
Speaker A
What? A coffee. Oh. Oh. [clears throat] [laughter] I lie to me if I were you lady if I was side [snorts] eye.
Speaker A
Side eye. Mama, you send me $450. Oh, no. You send me my money. Uh-uh. Wait a minute.
Speaker A
I shouldn't have said nothing. [laughter] Oh, no. I've seen you when I get my Oh, Lord. No. Uhuh. Lord, no. No.
Speaker A
ain't doing. Oh Lord, it did. Oh Lord, no. [music] Oh, send me my money. Send me my money.
Speaker A
Okay. I tried to answer your phone call. [laughter] You didn't answer me. I grabbed my purse, my wallet, my phone, my sunglasses, and my [laughter] I didn't want to be. [laughter] [laughter] Are you going to bring that back to dad?
Speaker A
No, we don't have time for that. And why you didn't snatch all that on one piece?
Speaker A
No, I don't know. You be scream real loud if I do one. I ain't no one time.
Speaker A
I'm not no man either. No, that side real woman now. This side still man.
Speaker A
[laughter] I hate when she snatched it off. Man, don't snatch it off so hard now.
Speaker A
That that way make it all gone. H. If I don't do it hard, the hair won't come off.
Speaker A
Well, just do it while I'm talking or something. That's it. One more time. Damn.
Speaker A
Oh, that look good. I should have been getting that. Hi, ma'am. I'm Gibby. She doesn't speak English. I'm still gibby.
Speaker A
Who does this? Who comes to their mama house and came with the Tupperware box and leave with every container filled with food?
Speaker A
What do you have to say for yourself? First of all, I told you I was bringing a Tupperware when I was coming over.
Speaker A
Y'all Y'all didn't say, you know, I couldn't take no food. I said GET AS MUCH.
Speaker A
BUT NORMALLY PEOPLE JUST TAKE a plate or two. You took how many Tupperware in there?
Speaker A
20 23 baby. 23 pieces. Innovative. This don't make no sense. This going to last me a couple.
Speaker A
It said 32 in a box. Got nice. How much? It's nice. Okay. I got a Christmas sweater that I nice that I thought was like gonna find out who's naughty or nice from Ary. And I love it. I think it's so cute. Like look
Speaker A
at it. It's adorable. And then Greg ruined it. Knives. [laughter] Ruined it with that.
Speaker A
No. Every time I put this on, I'm going to think about that. No, you're going to think knives.
Speaker A
No, it's like going to find out who's naughty or nice. Now dude is borat going to find out [laughter] who is not your nice even has the eyes.
Speaker A
Oh man. Yes. Look. Look. [laughter] Come here. Look. Look. [laughter] I can't stop thinking about the time this lady came up to the deli and asked if she could have some turkey. And I said, "Yeah, sure. How much do you
Speaker A
want?" And she was like, "I want 500 g." I said, "Wow, the turkey is going off today." And I meant it in a way where it's like, "It's really selling well." You know, I it's really selling so well
Speaker A
today. And she looked at me and she was like, "It's going off today." And I was like, "No, that's not what I mean." But I didn't know how else to explain it. So, I just kept saying, "It's going off today." Like, "It's
Speaker A
going off." And then she just stared at me and she was like, "Don't worry about it." Yeah. We just sent me this. Okay, listen. Are you ready?
Speaker A
Yeah. Hey, I have a question about cinnamon. Are you only allergic if you ingest it or are you allergic if you like touch it or smell it? cuz my students made cinnamon dough ornaments and my house smells very very strongly of cinnamon
Speaker A
cuz I baked them at home and I just walked in the door and thought, "Oh no, Val's coming tomorrow and my house smells like death for her." So, [laughter] let me know if that's a problem and I'll leave the windows open or something. I
Speaker A
don't know what to do. Just tell me if you're going to be okay. I'll be fine.
Speaker A
[laughter] Tell me if you're going to be okay. Somebody's getting fired from Amazon. Sorry if this was you. Uh, so I ordered two mattress protectors. One, two. Cool.
Speaker A
Uh, for $23.52. So I get home and I find this. And I thought, hm, like, why is this box and that box, which is labeled mattress protector, why is it bigger than my mattress that's right here? So, I was a
Speaker A
little confused on who how two mattress protectors are bigger than the mattress, but didn't think anything of it. So, I open it up and this is what I see.
Speaker A
I didn't end up with two mattress protectors. I ended up with two boxes of 20 mattress protectors. So, I have 40 mattress protectors instead of two.
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