Speaker A
Hey, who's this little naked guy?
Friends cast shares nostalgic moments, discusses soulmates, work, and relationships in a cozy Central Perk setting.
Key Takeaways
- Soulmates are a debated concept among the group, with differing beliefs.
- Friendship and humor help navigate life's ups and downs.
- Career and personal life balance is a recurring theme.
- Joey's new job at Central Perk adds a comedic element.
- The video emphasizes the strong bonds among the Friends cast.
What the video covers
- The Friends cast reminisces over old photos and jokes about childhood memories.
- They debate the existence of soulmates and share personal dating experiences.
- Dawn, a chef and Monica's acquaintance, joins the group, sparking conversations about food and relationships.
- Joey reveals he works as a waiter at Central Perk, leading to humorous interactions.
- The group discusses career changes, job interviews, and the challenges of balancing work and personal life.
- Ross talks about his paleontologist job and upcoming fatherhood.
- The friends share funny and heartfelt moments about pregnancy and relationships.
- The video captures the warmth and humor characteristic of the Friends series.
- The conversation flows naturally, touching on themes of love, friendship, and life transitions.
- Overall, the video offers fans an intimate behind-the-scenes feel with beloved characters.
Chapters
- 00:00Childhood Memories and Soulmate Debate
- 05:47Introduction of Dawn and Food Talk
- 08:39Joey's Waiter Job at Central Perk
- 15:22Humorous Vows and Relationship Banter
- 18:49Career Talks and Job Interviews
- 24:16Pregnancy Hormones and Friendship Support
- 29:00Life Challenges and Emotional Moments
- 35:00Closing Reflections and Friendship Bonds
Full Transcript — Download SRT & Markdown
Speaker A
Uh, that little naked guy would be me. Look at the little things.
Speaker A
Yes. Yeah, it's fine. That is my penis. Can we be grown-ups now? Who are those people?
Speaker A
Got me. Oh, that's Nana right there in the middle.
Speaker A
Wow. Yeah. Let's see. Me and the gang at Java Joe's.
Speaker A
Wow. Monica, you look just like your grandmother. How old was she there?
Speaker A
1939. Yeah. Uh, 24, 25, huh? Looks like a fun gang.
Speaker A
Look, look, look, look, look. I got Monica naked.
Speaker A
What? No, no, that would be me again.
Speaker A
I'm uh just trying something.
Speaker A
Hey you guys.
Speaker A
Oh, hey. Hi.
Speaker A
Hey, listen. Let me ask you. Do you believe in soulmates?
Speaker A
Oh, yes, I do. I do. I believe that there is one perfect person out there for everyone. And you know how you find him? You stop looking for him. That's why I've stopped looking for Russell Crowe.
Speaker A
He'll find me.
Speaker A
Uhhuh. Uh-huh. And you?
Speaker A
No. I mean, I believe that certain people are more suited for each other, and I believe in falling in love, but soul mates, I don't think they exist.
Speaker A
Okay, good. Why?
Speaker A
Well, last night I met Monica's.
Speaker A
What?
Speaker A
Yeah. I had a date with this guy, and I swear to God, he is her other half.
Speaker A
Come on, don't be crazy. You don't think there's somebody out there better suited for Monica than me, do you?
Speaker A
But what's he like?
Speaker A
Well, he's tall.
Speaker A
Uh-huh. He has brown hair.
Speaker A
Of course. Of course.
Speaker A
A tall guy with hair similar to mine. Oh, a noble universe. He works with food.
Speaker A
Oh, sure. Older, obviously. And he's British.
Speaker A
I was just going to ask.
Speaker A
Yeah. And he's so centered and mature and confident.
Speaker A
Oh, it's so sad they never had a chance to meet.
Speaker A
Luckily, the guy she settled for can't hear what you're talking about.
Speaker A
Oh, I'm so sorry. Um, and maybe I'm wrong. But you know what? I'm going to go out with him again. I'll find out more.
Speaker A
You believe that this guy is destined for somebody else and you're still going to date him?
Speaker A
Well, he may not be my soulmate, but girls got to eat.
Speaker A
Oh. Oh, hi.
Speaker A
Hi. Um, Chandler, Monica, this is Dawn.
Speaker A
Oh, hello. Hello. Nice to meet you, too.
Speaker A
How are you? Tall mate. So, what have you guys been doing?
Speaker A
Well, we just had a terrible lunch at Adriatica. What is with all the sundried tomatoes at that place?
Speaker A
I know. What is this, 1985?
Speaker A
That's exactly what I said, Phoebe.
Speaker A
Isn't that strange?
Speaker A
Not really. What's wrong with sundried tomatoes? On a barbecued chicken pizza?
Speaker A
No. So, Dawn, what other restaurants do you like?
Speaker A
Well, Octavio 27 and 7. Oh, there's this great little place, Aleandro.
Speaker A
Oh my god, that's my restaurant. I'm the chef there.
Speaker A
You're kidding me. Your food is fantastic.
Speaker A
Wow. I really want to talk to you about your menu. I'm just going to get some coffees first. Um, you don't want anything?
Speaker A
Oh, I'd like a latte.
Speaker A
You know what? If you're going to talk about me, I'm going to go with you.
Speaker A
What are you doing?
Speaker A
Nothing. I swear to God, I didn't know you guys would be here. And the good news is you don't even believe in soulmates.
Speaker A
I believe in tall, handsome strangers who hit on my wife.
Speaker A
They're just talking. And you know what? Just 'cause I think they're so amazing. I love him.
Speaker A
Don't worry, we'll find you someone else.
Speaker A
So, I've been slowly phasing out the wine importing and focusing more on the cheese side of things.
Speaker A
Cheese, you say? That's some pretty smelly work, huh, Dawn?
Speaker A
Excuse me. Jeez, it's smelly.
Speaker A
You must smell a lot of the time, too.
Speaker A
Uh, not really. But when it comes to cheese, I'm one of those people who thinks the smellier the better.
Speaker A
Me, too.
Speaker A
Yeah. Chandler can't stand it. He won't even allow me to have blue cheese in the house.
Speaker A
And you're still married to him?
Speaker A
Ross, listen now. You want anything to drink? 'Cause I'm heading up there.
Speaker A
Uh, yeah, I'll take a coffee. Thanks, man.
Speaker A
Sure. Coffee?
Speaker A
No. Coffee? 'Cause I'm going up there.
Speaker A
Oh, no. Thank you. Do you guys need anything? 'Cause I'm heading up there.
Speaker A
I'd love an ice water.
Speaker A
You got it. Joey, what are you doing?
Speaker A
Just being friendly.
Speaker A
Joey, honey, I don't think you're supposed to go back there.
Speaker A
No, no, it's okay. Right, Gunther?
Speaker A
Don't wink at me. Put on your apron.
Speaker A
Okay.
Speaker A
Don't see you asking any other paying customers to put on aprons.
Speaker A
Joey, do you work here?
Speaker A
No. Waiter.
Speaker A
Yeah. Joey, what's going on? Why didn't you tell us you work here?
Speaker A
It's kind of embarrassing, you know? I mean, I was an actor. Now I'm a waiter.
Speaker A
Supposed to go in the other direction. So's your apron. You're wearing it like a cape.
Speaker A
I mean, the job's easy and the money's good, you know? And I guess if I'm going to be hanging out here anyway, I might as well get paid for it, right? Just feel kind of weird serving you guys, you know?
Speaker A
Joey, come on. I did it and it was fine.
Speaker A
Yeah. Why would it be weird?
Speaker A
Hey, Joey.
Speaker A
Uh, can I get some coffee?
Speaker A
Okay, I guess it doesn't seem that weird.
Speaker A
Seriously, I asked you before. You still haven't gotten it.
Speaker A
Now it's weird again.
Speaker A
I think it's great that you work here. You're going to make a lot of money. And here is your first tip.
Speaker A
Don't eat yellow snow.
Speaker A
215 Coffee House. We both finished our vows.
Speaker A
Oh. Can we read them?
Speaker A
Yeah, just as long as I don't hear Taylor's and he doesn't hear mine.
Speaker A
Okay.
Speaker A
Okay.
Speaker A
Oh. Oh. Oh, that's beautiful. Funny one. That's a good one.
Speaker A
Monica, will you marry me?
Speaker A
What? I don't get it.
Speaker A
Oh. Oh man, this is hilarious. Chandler, don't worry honey, we'll make yours funnier.
Speaker A
Hello, Rachel. Get off.
Speaker A
Oh. Oh, Gimme, can you see me operating a drill press?
Speaker A
I don't know. What are you wearing, Dave?
Speaker A
Why would you want to operate a drill press?
Speaker A
Just for some short-term work, you know, till I get back some of my massage clients.
Speaker A
Pirates again?
Speaker A
No, nothing like that. Just such a dummy. I taught this massage yourself at home workshop and they are—
Speaker A
Hey. Hey, Chance. She could work for you.
Speaker A
Thanks, Joey. That's a good idea.
Speaker A
Well, I could. I could do it. What is it?
Speaker A
Well, my secretary is going to be out for a couple of weeks. She's having one of her boobs reduced.
Speaker A
It's a whole big boob story. I could be a secretary.
Speaker A
Well, you know, Feebs, I don't know if it's your kind of thing because it involves a lot of being normal for a large portion of the day.
Speaker A
I could do that.
Speaker A
What are you playing with?
Speaker A
Oh, it's my new beeper.
Speaker A
What the hell does a paleontologist need a beeper for?
Speaker A
Is it like for dinosaur emergencies? Help. Come quick. They're still extinct.
Speaker A
No, it's for when Carol goes into labor.
Speaker A
She can get me wherever I am. All she has to do is dial 55 Jimbo.
Speaker A
A cool phone number and a possible name for the kid.
Speaker A
No, I didn't tell anybody that I knew you.
Speaker A
Why not?
Speaker A
Well, because you know they don't like you.
Speaker A
What? I thought you'd knew that.
Speaker A
Nuh-uh. Who doesn't like me?
Speaker A
Everyone except for um—
Speaker A
No, everyone. What are you talking about?
Speaker A
Don't feel bad. You know, they used to like you a lot, but then you got promoted and you know, now you're all like Mr. Boss Man. You know, Mr. Bing.
Speaker A
Mr. Bing. Boss Man Bing. I can't believe it.
Speaker A
Yeah. Yeah. They even do you—
Speaker A
They do me, you know, like um—
Speaker A
Okay. Um, could that report be any later?
Speaker A
I don't sound like that.
Speaker A
Oh. Oh, Jim. Yeah, you do. The hills are alive with the sound of music.
Speaker A
My scone. My scone.
Speaker A
Okay. I don't sound like that. That is so not true.
Speaker A
That is so not—
Speaker A
That is so not that.
Speaker A
Oh, shut up. That's not someone that I would be attracted to. But right now, with the way I'm feeling, all I want to do is rip off his sweatpants and fanny pack.
Speaker A
Wait a second. This is about the fourth month of your pregnancy, right?
Speaker A
Yeah. This is completely normal. Around the fourth month, your hormones start going crazy.
Speaker A
Really? So, this has happened to you?
Speaker A
Oh, absolutely. Yeah.
Speaker A
Oh, and keep in mind now, I was carrying triplets. So, you know, in medical terms, I was thrice as Randy.
Speaker A
Wow. This explains so much. Last weekend, I went from store to store sitting on Santa's laps.
Speaker A
Yeah. Yeah. I remember trying to steal a cardboard cutout of a Vander Holyfield from a Foot Locker.
Speaker A
Uh, yeah.
Speaker A
Oh well, you know what? I go see my doctor tomorrow. I'll ask her about this. Maybe she can give me a pill or something.
Speaker A
Yeah. Yeah, that—
Speaker A
You have to. No way. Look, Halloween is so stupid. Dressing up and pretending to be someone you're not.
Speaker A
You're an actor. So, Ross, are you going to bring Mona? Yeah. Yeah, I think I will.
Speaker A
The hot girl from their wedding? Yeah. Well, hey, if she needs any ideas for costumes, she could be a uh bikini model or a nurse or sexy cheerleader.
Speaker A
Huh? Or Leatherface from Texas Chainsaw Massacre. No, no, no. Leatherface. Now, wasn't Joey hitting on her at the wedding too?
Speaker A
That's right. He was hitting on her. And I got her. I guess the better man won.
Speaker A
Please don't take her from me. Ros, she wants you. She barely knows me. We just live in the same building.
Speaker A
Any contact? Uh, she lent me an egg once. You're in. Oh, right. Hey, Ross.
Speaker A
HEY, come on, Ross. You got to get back in the game here. Okay, the Rachel thing is not happening. Your ex-wife's a lesbian.
Speaker A
You I don't think we need a third. Excuse me. Can we get an egg over here still in the show? Thanks.
Speaker A
An egg? Yeah. You're going to go up to her and say, "Here's your egg back. I'm returning your egg." I think it's winning.
Speaker A
Mom, I think it's insane. She'll love it. Thank you. Thank you. Here. Go with the egg, my friend.
Speaker A
Go go go go go go. Think it'll work? No way. It's suicide. The man's got an egg.
Speaker A
Okay, Chandler Mont, there's only one banana nut muffin left. Oh, well, order mine first.
Speaker A
Yeah, but I'm I'm so much faster. Give it to me. No, give it to me.
Speaker A
Okay, you can have it. There you go. Enjoy your coffee. I was there when I got here.
Speaker A
Hey, you guys, you will never guess who's coming to New York. Wait, Phoebe, tell us before you can swallow.
Speaker A
Okay, Ryan, that guy I went out with, who's in the Navy? You went out with a guy in the Navy?
Speaker A
Yeah, I met him when I was um playing guitar in Washington Square Park. Ryan threw in saltwater taffy because he didn't have any change.
Speaker A
Hey, is that when you wrote Saltwater Taffy Man? No. No, he is my submarine guy. He resurfaces like every couple years and we have the most amazing three days together. Only this time he's coming for two weeks. Two whole weeks, which means
Speaker A
yay. So, wait, this guy goes down for like two years at a time. M.
Speaker A
That'll teach you to lick my muffin. All right. Oh, no. What happened? I just spoke to Carol. Ben's got the chickenpox.
Speaker A
Are you kidding? Yeah. So, if you haven't already had it, chances are you're going to get it.
Speaker A
Well, I've had it. Yeah, I've had it. Had it? Had it? Well, I don't ever had it. I feel so left out. Oh, look.
Speaker A
Oh, hey Joey. Thanks. Listen, um, I need to ask you something, okay? You know how my stepdad's in prison?
Speaker A
Yeah. Well, um, listen, he was supposed to get a weekend furlow so he could come to the wedding tomorrow, but he just called and, um, well, apparently stabbing Iceman in the exercise yard just couldn't wait till Monday.
Speaker A
So, he can't come? No. And so, there's no one to walk me down the aisle. And um well, I would just really love it if you would do it.
Speaker A
Seriously? Yeah. You've, you know, sort of been like a dad to me. I mean, you've always, you know, looked out for me and shared your wisdom.
Speaker A
I am pretty wisdomous. So, what do you say? Are you kidding, Phoebe? I would be honored.
Speaker A
Thank you. I hope I hope you know how much you mean to me. Listen, I hope hope that you know.
Speaker A
I don't want you to see your father cry. Go to your room. Mark didn't call. It's Sunday night and he didn't call.
Speaker A
Bummer. Yeah, right. Look at you. You're practically giddy. No, I'm genuinely sorry. The Mark thing didn't work out.
Speaker A
Look, Ra, I want only good things for you. Wait a minute. Why don't you just call Mark?
Speaker A
I mean, who says you have to sit here and wait for him? You've got to make stuff happen.
Speaker A
Yeah, but you don't want to seem too pushy. Honey, it's not pushy. He gave her his home number.
Speaker A
What? He gave him his number as in like to to his home? Yeah. And you don't mind if I call because you only want good things for me.
Speaker A
That's right. Good things. That That is what I said. Hello, Mark. Hi, it's Rachel Green.
Speaker A
Oh. Oh, no. Don't you apologize. I Yeah, I'll he left my number at work. He was going to get it, but he was helping his niece with her report on the Pioneers.
Speaker A
But it's so made up. Yeah. Oh my god. Tomorrow. That's No, it's perfect. Oh god, thank you so much.
Speaker A
Great. Bye. I got the interview. Oh, yay. There you go. He even offered to meet me for lunch and prep me for it.
Speaker A
Oh, that is amazing. Yeah. Well, if I know Mark, and I think I do, I'd expect nothing less.
Speaker A
I got to figure out what I'm going to wear. High collar and baggy pants say I'm a pro.
Speaker A
Yeah, right. Okay, I'll see you guys later. You go get him. What did I do to you? Did I hurt you in some way?
Speaker A
What? Why don't you call him? Well, thank you very much. You know, now he's going to prep her. You know, prep her as in what you do before you surgically remove the boyfriend.
Speaker A
Are you crazy? Oh, am I am I am I out of my mind? Am I losing my senses?
Speaker A
This dreamy guy is taking my girlfriend out for a meal. Ross, you know, this isn't even about you. I mean, this is about Rachel and something wonderful happening for her. I mean, you know, even if you're right, what if he wants to sleep with her? Does
Speaker A
that mean he gets to? No. But I mean, don't you trust her? Well, yeah.
Speaker A
Then get over yourself. Grow up. You grow up. Phoebe fatty. Hey, Chandler. Why so fancy?
Speaker A
Well, I got a job interview. It's kind of a big deal, too. It's a lot more money, and I'd be doing data reconfiguration and statistical factoring.
Speaker A
Wait, I think I know someone who does that. Me? I do that. So, seriously, do I do I look okay? I'm a little nervous.
Speaker A
Oh, yeah. You really You look great. You know, just don't get your hopes up.
Speaker A
Why not? Well, the interview. What about it? You know, you don't make a very good first impression.
Speaker A
What? Oh, you don't know. Are you serious? Yes. Um, when I first met you, you were like blah blah blah blah. I was like, shh.
Speaker A
What is it that I do? Well, it's just like you're trying too hard. Always making jokes. You know, you just you come off a little needy.
Speaker A
Did you like me when we first met, Chandler? I'm not going to lie to you, but I am going to run away from you.
Speaker A
Oh, hey. It's worse than the thumb. This is so unfair. Why is it? So, I have a flaw. Big deal. Like Joey's constant knuckle cracking isn't annoying. And Ross with his overpron pronouncing every single word. And Monica with that snort when she laughs.
Speaker A
I mean, what the hell is that thing? I accept all those flaws. Why can't you accept me for this?
Speaker A
Does the knuckle cracking bother everybody? Well, I I could live without it. Was it like a little annoying or is it like when Phoebe chews her hair?
Speaker A
Oh, now don't listen to him, thieves. All right. I think it's endearing. Oh, you do. Do you?
Speaker A
You know, there's nothing wrong with speaking correctly. Indeed, there isn't. I should really get back to work.
Speaker A
Yeah. Otherwise, someone might get what they actually ordered. Well, oh, the hair comes out and the gloves come off.
Speaker A
Hey, look at this. They're lighting the big Christmas tree tonight. Um, that paper's two weeks old.
Speaker A
All right. Who keeps leaving old newspapers in the trash? I really wanted to take Kathy to this. I can't believe I missed it.
Speaker A
Hey, you know, at least you have somebody to miss that stuff with. Hate being alone this time of year. Next thing you know, it'll be Valentine's Day, then my birthday, then bang, before you know it, they're lighting that damn
Speaker A
tree again. I want somebody, you know. I want a man. I mean, it doesn't even have to be a big relationship. You know, just like a fling would be great.
Speaker A
Really? I didn't think girls ever just wanted a fling. Well, let me tell you something. It's been a long time since I've been flung.
Speaker A
Well, I know what I'm giving you for Christmas. You know what? There's some nice guys at my office. You want me to set you up?
Speaker A
Yeah. Wait a minute. It's been a long time that I've been single. How come you've never offered this before?
Speaker A
Well, I have a girlfriend. I'm I'm happy. So, I no longer feel the need to go out of my way to stop others from being happy.
Speaker A
Okay. No accountants. Oh, and no one from like legal. I don't like guys with boring jobs.
Speaker A
Oh, and Ross was like what? The lion tamer. Hey. Hi. Hey. Oh, what's the matter?
Speaker A
Well, you know that psychic I see? Yeah. Well, she told me that I'm going to die this week, so I'm kind of bummed about that.
Speaker A
What? Yeah. And I know you guys don't know a lot about psychic readings, but that one is pretty much the worst one you can get.
Speaker A
That's crazy. I can't believe she would say that to you. Yeah, honey. You don't believe her, do you? I don't know if she, you know, said that I'd have triplets, but she also said one of them would be black.
Speaker A
Just out of curiosity, did she tell you how you're going to go? No, cuz she didn't tell me I was going to die till the very end of the session, and I was not going to waste a whole
Speaker A
other hour there. I mean, I've only got a week left, you know? I've really got to start living now.
Speaker A
How was your week? Oh, it was good. It was actually the baby started kicking.
Speaker A
How exciting. Yeah, I know. Oh, it was amazing. The only sad thing is I wasn't around when it happened for the first time.
Speaker A
Oh, no. Yeah, I know. And I I was missing out on all this other stuff, too. So, Joey suggested Rachel move in with me.
Speaker A
Yeah, right. What? Joey cracks me up. It's like, yeah, why don't you have your ex-wife move in with you? That wouldn't be awkward at all.
Speaker A
Hey, could you imagine? I go away for a few days. I come back and my boyfriend is living with some woman he got pregnant.
Speaker A
So, what'd you tell him? Chandler's coming and he says he has like this incredible news. So, when he gets here, let's all act like, you know, hey, okay, never mind. But it was going to be really good.
Speaker A
What's going on? What is up? So, it's a typical day at work. I'm in putting my numbers and Big Al calls me into his office and tells me he wants to make me processing supervisor.
Speaker A
That is congratulations. So, I quit. Why? Why? Why? This was supposed to be a temp job.
Speaker A
Yeah, Chandler, you've been there for 5 years. If I took this promotion, it would be like admitting that this is what I actually do.
Speaker A
So, was it a lot more money? Doesn't matter. I just don't want to be one of those guys that's in his office until 12:00 at night worrying about the wenus.
Speaker A
The the wenus. Weekly estimated net usage systems. It's a processing term. Oh, that wenus.
Speaker A
Oh, hey Ross. I'm so glad someone's here. Could you zip me up? Sure. Thank you. Can you believe no one between my apartment and here offered to do that for me?
Speaker A
People. So, uh, why you so dressed up? Oh, um, Mike's picking me up for a date.
Speaker A
Oh, yeah. Now, how's that going? Is it getting serious? I don't know. I don't know. I mean, you know, I like him, but you know, am I ready to take my grade A loins off the meat market? I'm not quite sure.
Speaker A
You know, I I really admire your your whole dating attitude. It's so healthy. I'm always like, "Is this moving too fast? Is this moving too slow? Where where is this going?" Yeah, I know. You are a bit of a drama
Speaker A
queen. Well, you you're so much better off. You know, you just go from guy to guy having fun and not worrying that it never turns into anything serious.
Speaker A
I would say never. You know, there was that guy Okay. Well, what about Okay. Well, there's got to be someone.
Speaker A
There isn't. That's what I'm saying. Oh my god, you're right. I know. And yet here you are all ready for the next date.
Speaker A
I can't believe I never realized this before. I'm in my 30s and I've never been in a long-term relationship.
Speaker A
Oh my god. What's wrong with me? No, no, no, no. Um, there's there's nothing wrong with you. I mean, you don't strike me as the type of person that wants to get married anyway.
Speaker A
I want to get married. Please, please don't cry because of me. I peeves. I don't know what I'm talking about. Okay. I've been divorced three times.
Speaker A
Oh, at least you've been married. Oh my god. I want to trade lives with Ross.
Speaker A
Chewy Peponyi. Oh, still too ethnic. My agent thinks I should have a name that's more neutral.
Speaker A
Joey Switzerland. Plus, you know, I think it should be Joe. You know, Joey makes me sound like I'm this big, which I'm not.
Speaker A
Joe. Joe. Joe. Stalin. Stalin. Stalin. Do I know that name? That sounds familiar. Well, it does not ring a bell with me.
Speaker A
Joe Stone, you know that's pretty good. You might want to try Joseph. Joseph Stalin.
Speaker A
I think you'd remember that. Oh, yes. Bye-bye birdie starring Joseph Stalin. Joseph Stalin is the fiddler on the roof.
Speaker A
It's going to be okay, right? I mean, she's not going to leave me. This is this is fixable.
Speaker A
Oh, yeah. Yeah, sure. Absolutely. By me. Oh, no. No, no. Well, unless you make some kind of big gesture.
Speaker A
Yeah, big though. Oh, The misses here. Can I Can I get a coffee? to go.
Speaker A
Okay. I'm I'm still not done not wanting to talk to you. Just tell me what I need to do to make things right.
Speaker A
What? Well, that's what we do. You know, I I mess up and then you tell me how to fix it and then I do and then, you know, you think I'm all cute again.
Speaker A
I'm really I'm really tired of being your relationship tutor. You're going to have to figure this one out for yourself, right? You know what? If you're too afraid to be in a real relationship, then don't be in one.
Speaker A
Hi you guys. Hi. Hey. What's the matter? Well, it's just it's one of these situations that I just hate. You know, a massage client gave me three tickets to the helmet pelts exhibit at the Morgan Chase Museum.
Speaker A
Now you're thinking you got to sleep with them. No, no, it's just that he gave me three tickets and there are six of us.
Speaker A
I'll give up my ticket. Me, too. Okay, that's so generous. And I think Ross is generous, too.
Speaker A
Great. Okay, then it's just us girls. Great. Yeah. So, what what is the exhibit?
Speaker A
It's mostly just photographs of um lesbian love scenes interspersed with video games and free sandwiches.
Speaker A
Oh man. Hey. Hi there. Hey, Ross. Listen. Chandler got you out of going to the lesbian sandwich museum this weekend.
Speaker A
Hey. Hey. Hey, Rich. I uh got you a little present. I'll open it. It's a slinky. Remember, huh? Walks downstairs alone or impairs.
Speaker A
Everyone knows it's just a big spring. All right. You're still mad at me because of the whole horrible and degrading list of reasons not to be with me.
Speaker A
How about from now on we just call it the unfortunate incident? Hey, Gunther, you got stairs in your place?
Speaker A
Yeah. Yeah. Go nuts. There we go. Hey guys. Hey. Hey. What's in the bag?
Speaker A
Just some presents. Come on. Show us what you bought. You know you want to.
Speaker A
Okay. Okay. This is a picture frame from Ben to my parents. I got some uh hers and hers towels for Susan and Carol.
Speaker A
And uh I got this blouse for mom. Boss, that is gorgeous. Look at these authentic fake metals.
Speaker A
Tell you, mom's going to be voted best dressed at the Makebelie Military Academy. Hey.
Speaker A
Hey. Hey. Happy Christmas Eve, Eve. You too. Oh my god. Where did you get this?
Speaker A
Uh Macy's third floor home furnishings. This is my father. This is a picture of my dad.
Speaker A
Hey, uh, what are you doing here? I've been trying to call you. Listen. Um, oh, no, no, no. Don't say listen. I know that. Listen, I've said that. Listen.
Speaker A
I'm sorry. I don't get it. What happened? What about everything you said under the bridge?
Speaker A
Yeah. Um, you know, you you should just forget about what I said under the bridge. I was talking crazy that night. I was so drunk.
Speaker A
You don't drink. That's right. I don't But I was I was drunk on you.
Speaker A
But okay. Yeah. So, it's not going to work. Why is it because I'm friends with Phoebe?
Speaker A
If it was, would you stop hanging out with her? No, no. I I couldn't do that.
Speaker A
Um, then yeah, it's cuz of Phoebe. So, you know, it's either her or me.
Speaker A
Then, uh, then I'm sorry. You know, you're going to be really, really hard to get over.
Speaker A
I know. I don't know whether it's just cuz we're breaking up or what, but you have never looked so beautiful.
Speaker A
Really? thieves. Yeah. You know, actually, I'm kind of glad they're leaving cuz uh I need to talk to you about something.
Speaker A
What's up? Well, this uh this may be a little awkward. Listen, if you want to borrow money, it's kind of a bad time. I'm buying dinner for 128 people tomorrow night.
Speaker A
It's It's not that. Um, now what I'm going to say to you, I'm I'm not saying as your friend, okay? I'm I'm saying it as Monica's older brother.
Speaker A
But you're still my friend. Not for the next few minutes. During this time, are you are you still my best man?
Speaker A
Nope. Do I still call you Ross? Okay, you guys are getting married tomorrow and and I couldn't be more thrilled for both of you, but as Monica's older brother, I I have to tell you this.
Speaker A
If you ever hurt my little sister, if you ever cause her any unhappiness of any kind, I will hunt you down and kick your ass.
Speaker A
What? I'm I'm I'm serious. Hey, dude. Stop it. Okay. I'm I'm not kidding here.
Speaker A
Hey, I hear what you're saying. Okay. And thanks for the warning. No problem. So, are we friends again?
Speaker A
Yeah. Okay. You won't believe what Monica's older brother just said to me. And when you have a second later, I want to show you why we don't just trap spiders under coffee mugs and leave them there.
Speaker A
Are you training to be better at a job that I hate? My life officially sucks.
Speaker A
But Ra, wasn't it supposed to be a temporary thing? I thought you wanted to do fashion stuff.
Speaker A
Well, yeah. I'm still pursuing that. How exactly are you pursuing that? You know, other than sending out resumes like uh what, two years ago?
Speaker A
Oh, well, I'm also sending out good thoughts. If you ask me, as long as you got this job, you got nothing pushing you to get another one. You need the fear.
Speaker A
The fear? He's right. If you quit this job, you then have motivation to go after a job you really want.
Speaker A
Well, then how come you're still at a job that you hate? I mean, why don't you quit and get the fear?
Speaker A
because I'm too afraid. I don't know. I mean, I would give anything to work for a designer, you know, or a buyer.
Speaker A
I just don't want to be 30 and still work here. Yeah, that'd be much worse than being 28 and still working here.
Speaker A
Rachel. Yeah. Remind me to review with you which pot is decaf and which is regular.
Speaker A
Can't I just look at the handles on them? You would think. Okay, fine. Gunther, you know what? I am a terrible waitress. Do you know why I am a terrible waitress? Because I don't care. I don't care. I don't care which
Speaker A
pot is regular and which pot is decaf. I don't care where the tray spot is. I just don't care. This is not what I want to do.
Speaker A
So, I don't think I should do it anymore. I'm going to give you my week's notice.
Speaker A
What? Gone through. I quit. Does this mean we're going to have to start paying for coffee?
Speaker A
Happy Valentine's Day. Oh, you too. Hey. So, uh, how's it going living over at Ross'?
Speaker A
It's good, except he makes us watch the Discovery Channel all day long. Did you know that something really boring happened to someone really ugly in the Middle Ages?
Speaker A
Oh, thank you. I'll see you guys later. Okay. Bye. Bye. There's one lucky to go cup of coffee.
Speaker A
Honey, I wish you would get over her. I hate seeing you like this. Is there anything I can do for you? Do you want to look down my top?
Speaker A
Thanks. Maybe later. Oh, Gunther, could I get a scone? Do you want anything? You know what I want? I want a lot of things. I want to be with the woman I love on Valentine's Day. And I want her
Speaker A
to love me back. And I want just one moment of relief from the gutwrenching pain and knowing that that's never going to happen.
Speaker A
We have red bagels. Okay. There's nothing to tell. It's just some guy I work with.
Speaker A
Come on. You're going out with the guy. There's got to be something wrong with him.
Speaker A
So, does he have a hump? A hump? And a hairpiece? Wait, does he eat chalk?
Speaker A
just cuz I don't want her to go through what I went through with Carl. Um, okay, everybody relax. This is not even a date. It's just two people going out to dinner and not having sex.
Speaker A
Sounds like a date to me. All right, so I'm back in high school. I'm standing in the middle of the cafeteria and I realize I am totally naked.
Speaker A
Oh, yeah. Then I look down and I realize there is a phone there. instead of That's right.
Speaker A
Never had that. All of a sudden, the phone starts to ring and it turns out it's my mother, which is very, very weird because she never calls me.
Speaker A
This guy says hello. I want to kill myself. Are you okay, sweetie? I just feel like someone reached down my throat, grabbed my small intestine, pulled it out of my mouth, and tied it around my neck.
Speaker A
Cookie, Carol moved her stuff out today. Let me get you some coffee. Thanks. No. Oh, no. No. Don't stop cleansing my aura.
Speaker A
Don't just leave my aura alone. Okay. I'll be fine. All right. Really, everyone, I hope she'll be very happy.
Speaker A
No, you don't. No, I don't. To hell with her. She left me. And you never knew she was a lesbian.
Speaker A
No. Okay. Why does everyone keep fixating on that? She didn't know. How should I know?
Speaker A
Sometimes I wish I was a lesbian. Did I say that out loud? All right, Ross. Look, you're feeling a lot of pain right now. You're angry.
Speaker A
You're hurting. Can I tell you what the answer is? Strip joints. Come on. You're single. Have some hormones.
Speaker A
See, but I don't want to be single. Okay. I just I just I just want to be married again.
Speaker A
And I just won a million dollars. Rachel. Oh god, Monica. Hi. Thank God. I just went to your building and you weren't there. And then this guy with a big hammer said that you might be here.
Speaker A
And you are. You are. Can I get you some coffee? Decaf. Okay, everybody. This is Rachel and another Lincoln High survivor. This This is everybody. This is Chandler and Phoebe and Joey. And you remember my brother Ross?
Speaker A
Sure. HEY. SO, you want to tell us now or are we waiting for four wet bridesmaids?
Speaker A
Oh, God. Well, it started about a half hour before the wedding. I was in this room where we were keeping all the presents and I was looking at this gravy boat. this really gorgeous lemon gravy boat when all of a sudden, sweet and
Speaker A
low, I realized I realized that I was more turned on by this gravy boat than by Barry. And then I got really freaked out and that's when it hit me how much Barry looks like Mr.
Speaker A
Potato Head, you know? I mean, I always knew he looked familiar. But anyway, I just had to get out of there and I started wondering why am I doing this and who am I doing this for?
Speaker A
So anyway, I just didn't know where to go and I know that you and I have kind of drifted apart, but you're the only person I knew who lived here in a city who wasn't invited to the wedding. Oh, I
Speaker A
was kind of hoping that wouldn't be an issue.
Topics:FriendsCentral PerksoulmatesrelationshipsJoey TribbianiMonica GellerChandler BingRoss GellerPhoebe BuffayDawn chef
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