alone but not lonely // ep. 15

Sid shares a peaceful day back home in New York, exploring coffee shops, journaling, coping with anxiety, and baking vegan banana bread.

Key Takeaways

Journaling helps Sid better understand and label her emotions beyond just 'stress'.
Faith and prayer provide Sid with a unique sense of peace and comfort.
Trying new experiences, like a different coffee shop, can bring unexpected joy.
Self-care activities such as buying flowers and baking contribute to emotional well-being.
Maintaining a clean environment helps Sid feel more responsible and calm.

What the video covers

Sid returns home to New York after summer travels, seeking quiet and peace.
She tries a new coffee shop called Atas and enjoys their latte and bagel.
Sid discusses the benefits of journaling for emotional clarity and self-understanding.
She opens up about her lifelong struggle with anxiety and coping strategies including therapy, friends, and prayer.
Sid finds comfort and peace through her Christian faith and relationship with God.
She shares the joy of buying flowers for herself, specifically hydrangeas.
Sid does a detailed grocery haul featuring healthy snacks, ingredients for smoothies, and meals.
She bakes vegan banana bread and describes the calming effect of baking.
Sid tidies her room while waiting for the banana bread to bake.
She enjoys eating the banana bread and reflects on her relaxed, cozy day.

Chapters

What coping strategies does Sid mention for dealing with anxiety?

Sid mentions therapy, spending time with friends, journaling, expressing emotions, and most importantly, praying to Jesus and reading the Bible as key ways she copes with anxiety.

Why does Sid enjoy journaling more recently?

Journaling has helped Sid better understand her emotions by allowing her to label feelings like sadness or anxiety instead of just calling everything stress.

What is Sid’s favorite flower and why?

Sid’s favorite flower currently is the hydrangea, partly because her mom had them in her garden growing up, and she loves how full and beautiful they look.

Full Transcript — Download SRT & Markdown

Speaker A

[music] [music] [music] Good morning, you guys. It's Sid. I woke up this morning, made some tea. Why am I clenching? Why am I holding it like this? I'm back home in New York, as you can tell, after traveling quite a bit. This summer, I really just wanted to be back home. It feels very quiet and still, but I think that [music] that's exactly what I needed. And it really just got me thinking it's time for another alone but not lonely video.

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Now, if you guys are getting sick of these, please say that. Say the words and I'll never film one again.

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[music] [music] [music] I really told myself that I needed to try a new coffee shop. Like the same one I'm going to is getting to the point where the baristas know my order. I walk [music] in, they've already started making it because they know exactly what it is. And I do love that. Like there is some charm and comfort in having my local coffee [music] shop that I do love. I will always go back there. But it's fun to try somewhere new. There's this [music] place called Atas. I got a latte and then I got a bagel.

Speaker A

You know what? This is a pretty good bagel. M. This coffee is really good. Wow. Wait.

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I'm a little stunned to speak. This coffee is way better than I expected. I'm really sorry that I underestimated you guys at Atas, but [music] why did I decide to wear this shirt when it is 85° outside? I don't know. Okay,

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I'm sweating profusely and I'm regretting this decision. I found this little area of New York about a few months ago and ever since I've loved to come over here. It's the place that I find I'm the most at peace.

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Something about being by the water. I don't know psychologically what it is, but it always calms me down. I always just feel so at peace. So, I just wanted to walk by here. Maybe I'll journal.

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Actually, I brought my journal with me. You can see the Statue of Liberty in the distance right there.

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[music] I've been journaling more the past month than I have in my whole life. It's really helped me to kind of understand my own feelings and put them into words. Sometimes I think that I'm stressed when in reality I write it

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out and I understand I'm not stressed. I'm actually really sad about something specific or I'm anxious about something and I'm just sort of labeling it as stress when it's something deeper than that. I guess I'm just trying to say

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I've been able to understand myself more and really be in touch with my own emotions and feelings, which is something that I don't talk about as much on here as I wish I did is struggling with anxiety. It's something I've had [music]

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for my whole life and I know I'm definitely not alone in this. I've definitely found ways to cope over the years through therapy, which has been huge for me. Being with friends, expressing my emotions, journaling, even just like

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different coping strategies, but the one thing that I've realized helps me more than all of those by far has really just been praying to Jesus and reading my Bible. Having that relationship with God brings me sort of a sense of peace that

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nothing else really can. And I can't even put into words how or why, but I feel such an overwhelming sense of peace when I have the courage to give up the control that I think I have over my

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own life to God, which is much easier said than done, and it's something that I struggle with all the time. I've just been trying to work on that and it's been really, really helpful for me. So, I just wanted to share. Oh, also, do you

Speaker A

guys recognize my journal? If you know, you know. [music] I have never once regretted buying flowers for myself. I used to think it was like a waste of money and they die so like what's the point? But there is

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something so nice about buying flowers for yourself and having a fresh bouquet of flowers in your living room. I got my current favorite, which are hydrangeas at the moment. They are so beautiful. I just love how full these are. And

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growing up, my mom had these in her garden, so I think that's also partially why I love them so much. Anywho, I just took inventory of what I have food-wise, which is basically nothing. So that way when I go to Whole Foods, I

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kind of know what I'm going to get. And then I'm going to do a grocery haul because that's one of my favorite things.

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[music] I'm back home and we're going to do a massive grocery haul. I love a good grocery haul. Sometimes I like grocery hauls more than clothing or makeup hauls. We're going to do this speed round. The best mac and cheese ever.

Speaker A

Goodles. Almond butter granola. Multiple Smart Sweets. These mini chocolate chip cookies that I've already eaten two bags of since I've been home. Some healthier tortillas. I really like to make these healthy quesadillas with them. Protein powder because I'm waiting for my new

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one to be shipped to my apartment. Riper lollipop. Great lollipop. Best crackers on the planet. More Smart Sweets. Self-ground peanut butter. This is a new discovery for me. Just have to say it does taste [music] better for me. I don't know if it's like

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the placebo effect and it's literally the same thing. I got an avocado, lemon, two limes. I missed my smoothies so much when I was gone, and I cannot wait to make my first smoothie back. I got frozen strawberries for

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that. I actually got two of these bags. Got some chicken breast for my healthy quesadillas. Maybe I should show that recipe too soon. I have so many recipes.

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I'm just call me a chef. I'm like really lazy half the time, so with my Goodles, I like to make a little Caesar salad.

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And these kits are so easy. Got some fresh berries for my yogurt bowls in the morning. And another current favorite for me right now is this. The Uncle Matt's half and half black tea lemonade is so good. It's like an Arnold Palmer,

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but it's a little bit healthier because it's sweetened [music] with stevia. Okay, the last thing is I got some ingredients to make banana bread tonight because I have been craving it for some reason. Anyways, that's my grocery haul that I am very proud of.

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I'm going to put everything away. Also, this new hair clip. What is this called?

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I'm blanking on what the name of this is, but my friend got it for me for my birthday and it has my initials on it.

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Like, look how cute this is. [music] We're making banana bread today. And look what I just got. A little banana plushy. It's so cute. We'll put him here. Can you see him? There he goes. I am making a vegan banana bread.

Speaker A

Actually, I am not vegan. And long story short, I have no reason to be making vegan banana bread. I'm going to start mashing up some bananas in my giant mixing bowl.

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[music] Nice. [music] [music] I would make banana bread if I couldn't eat it just for the sole purpose of the aroma that fills my apartment. It smells so good in here. Better than any candle I have ever burned. I wish you guys were

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here so you could smell what I'm smelling. It's very calming baking is for me. While that's baking though, it's going to be about 50 minutes. I thought I should just kind of run through clean up some things in my room.

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It's really not bad at all, but I find if I maintain it to be clean, it's a lot easier than letting it become a wreck and trying to do a major deep clean. So, this is me being responsible.

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[music] [music] It's ready. It's ready. I was just listening to Rihanna for the last 10 minutes. Obviously got changed into my comfy pajamas. And yes, it is still light outside [music] and I'm already in my pajamas, but I don't, I don't care.

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[music] [music] [music] Why am I sitting on the ground when there's a perfectly good couch behind me? Don't ask. For some reason, it's more comfortable. So, I eat all of my meals this way. It's like, why did I

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even buy a couch? I have patiently waited to eat this. I've been very good.

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Here she is. I even took the end piece because honestly, I was too lazy to cut another piece. It's still warm.

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You know what? It's good enough. Will I link the recipe? No. I feel like I'm at this point i

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even buy a couch? I have patiently waited to eat this. I've been very good.

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Here she is. I even took the end piece because honestly, I was too lazy to cut another piece. It's still warm.

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You know what? It's good enough. Will I link the recipe? No. I feel like I'm at this point in my life where I'm really in between chapters. It just feels scary and uncertain to not know exactly what my life is going to pan out to be. A lot

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of it having to do with location. I feel like I have no idea where I'm going to be living a year from now. I don't know.

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As I get older, I really think about location and where I want to be and where I want to live and raise a family and just I do love New York for so many reasons. I don't know if I'm going to

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leave. I don't know. I even feel nervous to say this to you guys because I don't want to set anything in stone or assumptions to be made. I just don't know. And I hate not knowing. I like to

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know what's going to happen because I am a very anxious type A person. Anyways, I'm saying all this because I personally get so much comfort from talking to friends or online and hearing people tell me how they're feeling if I've been

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feeling a similar way cuz it just makes me feel less [music] alone in my emotions and feelings. Not that I'm going through anything detrimental or anything at all, but I'm going to do my skincare. I think little nightly

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skincare routine. This is the awkward part. Getting up. Just don't watch that. I'm feeling a bit gross. Like my my makeup has been marinating too long all day. Oh my god. I actually need to order my cotton rounds because I have been

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using paper towels with my salad water. You know, it's not luxurious and it's just not it's probably not good. My roommate's been gone for the past 4 months, which is like really really long. She's just like been traveling.

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She'll be back. But because she's been gone for so long, I feel like I've been getting a bit more lonely. Obviously, there's some things that I love about being alone and living alone, but I'm so excited for her to come back. Just

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having someone at home sometimes, even if you're not speaking, like even if like we're in different rooms or I don't know if we're sitting next to each other on the couch like on our phones for an hour, I just feel comfort in having

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someone [music] there. I just can't wait for her to come back. Please, Olivia, if you're watching this, come back like tomorrow.

Speaker A

I've been using the Kodailay veno perfect drops on my face every night mostly because I've had this cold sore sort of scar form after I got one on my lip. I don't know if you guys can see it

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super well. I had my first cold sore ever about a month and a half ago and it was awful. Like honestly like one of the worst I've ever seen in my life. I've heard that like the first one can be

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really bad. I don't know. Anyways, it's left this redness on my lip, which I'm just like hoping it goes away. So, I've been trying to use this to help maybe like promote healing for it. I feel like it has been helping a little bit. I've

Speaker A

just started using it, but I do love like everything Codle carries. I've been trying out this Thomas Roth moisturizer at night and it's like a very interesting consistency. It's very light. I don't know. I've been really liking it. I always make sure to put

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some [music] on my neck. I've been keeping my gouacha in my [clears throat] shower because it's just so much easier for me to use it consistently when I just have it in my shower.

Speaker A

[music] Okay, guys. I am in my bed. I've been reading my Bible. annotating it, journaling a little bit. But I did just want to say thanks for hanging out with me. If you stayed till this point, I really love you. It just like makes my

Speaker A

heart so happy. All of your nice comments and things, I just want you guys to know like never goes unnoticed.

Speaker A

I love you guys so much and I'll see you in my next vlog. Bye.

Topics:Sidalone but not lonelyNew Yorkjournalinganxietyfaithprayercoffee shopbanana breadself-care

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