Speaker A
So, for your reality to actually start to shift, there are some extremely important things you need to understand.
Learn how true positivity involves befriending negativity to shift your reality and create lasting change in your life.
Ask about this video. Answers come from its transcript only — with the timestamp, so you can check them.
Generated from the transcript and can be wrong — check the timestamp.
Key Takeaways
- Positivity is not about ignoring negativity but befriending and allowing it.
- Identification with thoughts causes suffering; awareness that you are not your thoughts is liberating.
- Suppressing negative emotions creates resistance and blocks growth.
- Allowing experience to flow freely leads to emotional ease and the ability to shape reality.
- Healing your internal state is foundational for creating the life you desire.
What the video covers
- Many people misunderstand positivity as suppressing negative emotions instead of allowing and befriending them.
- Suppressing negativity creates internal resistance and prevents true growth, like planting flowers over unprepared soil.
- True positivity means fully allowing negative emotions like fear or anxiety to arise without trying to fix or push them away.
- Identification with thoughts and emotions fuels their power; realizing you are not your mind or thoughts is crucial.
- Observing thoughts without clinging or reacting reduces fear-based living and emotional friction.
- Allowing all experiences, positive or negative, to flow freely creates an open state like the sky.
- This open state enables you to mold your reality more effectively and plant positive seeds on a healed foundation.
- Facing and processing negativity rather than avoiding it leads to emotional and energetic upliftment.
- Letting go of control brings ease and flow into your experience.
- Your identity and emotional state deeply influence the reality you create.
Chapters
- 00:00Introduction to Shifting Reality
- 00:25Misunderstanding Positivity
- 01:00Dark and Light in Life
- 01:42Allowing Fear to Arise
- 02:30Suppression vs. True Positivity
- 03:00The Garden Analogy
- 03:51Befriending Anxiety
- 04:32Resistance Creates Friction
- 05:14Identification with Thoughts
- 05:56Observing Thoughts Without Clinging
Full Transcript — Download SRT & Markdown
Speaker A
And most people I hear talking about this either don't mention these things at all, or they get it completely wrong.
Speaker A
So, if you feel like you've been trying really hard to create the life you desire, and you just keep on running into a brick wall, or like nothing's changing, then I'd be willing to bet that you're probably missing one of the three things
Speaker A
that I'll talk about in this video, or maybe all of them. So, the first fundamental misunderstanding that keeps people completely stuck in their lives and in creating the reality that they desire is they fundamentally misunderstand what positivity actually means.
Speaker A
I'm sure you've heard many people talk about thinking positive, you know, being positive, your thoughts create your reality.
Speaker A
But that saying can actually become dangerous, because what it can be used as is a mechanism for suppression of the dark side of you, or the dark side of life.
Speaker A
So, in life, obviously, as you know, there's dark and light to everything. And a lot of the times there's a misunderstanding that you should just focus 100% on the positive, you know, rainbows, sunshine, unicorns, everything's great, I'm so grateful for
Speaker A
everything, and you should ignore, or completely banish to the shadow realm, anything that is unwanted, like guilt, shame, fear, negative thinking.
Speaker A
The problem this creates is that you become at odds with your experience. So, you're constantly resisting what is arising.
Speaker A
So, let's say I'm sitting here and some fear arises. The more positive thing to do is to fully allow this fear to arise.
Speaker A
Just allow this fear to be here. But what some people do is they'll use the technique of positivity as a suppression mechanism.
Speaker A
So, when this unwanted thought or feeling arises, instead of just fully allowing it and befriending it, you know, welcoming it into your experience, we will try to use our personal will to push it away.
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And then what are we taught to do? Is to layer positive thinking, positive stuff over top of it.
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So, what this is kind of like is, you know, you're trying to start a garden and your garden is full of weeds.
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Instead of addressing and removing the weeds, that dark side of the garden, you just start layering, you know, seeds on top of it, flower seeds on top of it.
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Well, you know, as you can probably guess, the problem is that the flowers are going to have a very hard time growing because you have not laid the correct soil to actually allow it to sprout.
Speaker A
So, the big breakthrough happened for me when I realized that it's not about suppressing negativity and completely banishing negative thoughts to the shadow realm, but it's more about working with them as a friend.
Speaker A
Sorry, there's a helicopter somewhere. And this is what true positivity really is or really means because let's say, you know, I have anxiety arise.
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If I'm feeling anxious about feeling anxious, then I am negative about the experience of anxiety.
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If I welcome and befriend the anxiety, completely allow it to rise in my experience, and don't try to fix it, change it in any way, just give it the full space to be what it is, then I'm actually being positive about
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the experience of anxiety. In this state, the anxiety has room to come up, be felt as a cloud within your awareness or within your experience, and then it has the opportunity to pass.
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But when we resist experience, and when we tell experience how it should be or how it's supposed to be, or we're always trying to control our mind and emotions, it adds a lot of friction to experience.
Speaker A
And what ends up happening is you end up living in a very fear-based state, where you're constantly concerned and worried about what emotions and what thoughts will arise.
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Because of the fundamental misunderstanding that if it's negative, if it's dark emotion or thoughts, then somehow that's going to start creating a negative reality for you.
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But it's not the fact that these things are arising that's the problem. It's our identification with it and the fueling of it that gives it real life in our experience.
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So, I'm not suggesting to, like, you know, negative thoughts arise and you just think about it endlessly.
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You just start buying into all the negativity and following it. What I'm more suggesting is that if an unwanted thought or emotion arises, you give it the space to exist without clinging onto it and making it a problem in your experience.
Speaker A
So, that means you do nothing to it or about it. Right? Like a thought arises, an unwanted fearful thought, what if, you know, what if my dreams don't work out? What if something doesn't work out for me?
Speaker A
Instead of arguing with this thought and telling it, "No, that's not true. You know, it is going to work out. It's going to be amazing. It's going to be incredible." Or instead of trying to push the thought away, like, "Oh, no, I
Speaker A
don't want this thought here. Go away, thought. I don't want you." Or instead of engaging with the thought, starting to follow that thought and think about it, you can just see it in the open space of your awareness
Speaker A
and see that it doesn't have any true reality of its own. It's just a thought that has arisen and, you know, you didn't make it come up.
Speaker A
You had no control over if it came up, but you do have control over how you react to it.
Speaker A
So, yeah, this really helped me to understand that you don't need to live in a fear-based state of constantly avoiding and suppressing your dark side and your negativity.
Speaker A
By actually beginning to face the dark side and the negativity and look towards it rather than away from it, then you start to be able to work with it and befriend it to process this negativity and this dark
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side. And in essence,
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And in essence, like according to my analogy, you start to mend the soil of the garden so that you can plant fruitful seeds over top.
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And none of this is really possible, what I'm saying right now, before you have the initial kind of waking up to the fact that you aren't your mind and you aren't your thoughts.
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Because as long as you think that you are the mind or that you are the thoughts, then what I'm suggesting here becomes almost inaccessible.
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Because you take this thinking and these thoughts too seriously and you believe it to be part of who you are.
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So when a concerning thought arises, because you have that identification with it and you think it's who you are, you cling heavily to that and you treat it as important in your experience.
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Eventually, you get to a place where the thoughts in your head are no different than a bird chirping outside.
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This is something that Adyashanti said, who's a spiritual teacher. He talked about how thoughts are no different than a bird chirping outside, outside of the importance and attention that we give them.
Speaker A
So when a thought arises and you engage with it, treat it as important, follow it with your attention and believe it, that is really the thing that is to be more on the side of being avoided, right?
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Where you're completely lost and unconsciously lost in thought. And in the beginning, it's just about becoming aware, right? Becoming aware of what's going on inside, becoming aware of this voice in your head without being the voice itself, being stuck
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inside of it. That really starts the beginning of this process that I'm talking about.
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And eventually, you get to a place where you can just allow experience to be as experience is.
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If there's negativity rising, negative emotion, negative thought, you completely accept and allow that to be as it is.
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If there's happy stuff like gratitude, you know, wonder, joy, then you completely allow that to be as it is without clinging on to it and trying to be like, "Oh my God, I want to keep this forever." You become like the open sky that just
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allows experience to flow. And from this standpoint is where you can actually start to mold things the way you want them to go.
Speaker A
Because from this different perspective, y
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You start to take inspired action. You start to see opportunities from a more open point of view.
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And you also, like I said, start laying the groundwork and mending to the soil to plant positive seeds on top.
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The thing is is depending on how much you have been trying to resist and control your experience is to the degree of how much negativity may arise when you start hearing these words that I'm saying and taking this
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seriously. Because when you start to let go of control and allow experience to be as it is, it's almost like beginning to open a gate or like a pressure cooker that has been closed off for potentially many years.
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Because most of us live in a state of suppression trying to keep this negativity and this dark side at bay, when you start to become open to it, you may have an initial, you know, flooding of negative thinking, negative
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feelings coming to the surface. And then you're going to be like, "Wow, this is terrible. You know, why is this guy telling me to do do this, right?" That's the thing is that this stuff that's coming up is what's
Speaker A
being held inside of you right now through your own effort and control to keep it at bay.
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And within the realm of creating your reality, people always say how, you know, it's your identity that creates your reality.
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But, it's actually your state that creates your reality. An identity is a part of your state.
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It is the cognitive layer of your state that you're in on a daily basis.
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But, there's more than just one layer to your state. There's also the emotional layer to your state, which is the somatic layer.
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The suppressed emotions and trauma that you hold in the body. There is the conscious layer, you know, being conscious, being present in the moment, enjoying experience.
Speaker A
And so, positivity, a lot of the times, it's more of a nice, gentle process more than it is a strict forcing and a strict protocol of a technique to use positivity as something to get rid of and suppress the
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negativity and the darkness that you're feeling. So, as you become more allowing, your state begins to rise because you're removing a lot of these anchors that have been holding you down in a lower state for an extended period
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of time. So, this phase that you go through when you start to open up to experience and become allowing of the dark side, it's a necessary detox phase that you go through of allowing this suppressed negativity to come to the surface
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and to be fully allowed and felt in your experience. And that's because you finally let go of trying to control everything that is going on around you.
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When you start doing that, when you start letting go of control, there's a certain amount of ease that comes into experience.
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Certain amount of effortlessness that comes into life. Cuz you are now flowing with the waters of life rather than constantly flowing against it and trying to push against what is here now.
Topics:positivitynegativitymindfulnessemotional awarenessreality creationself-identitythought observationletting gospiritual growthemotional healing
