Speaker A
One of Hey Tablo's most popular episodes is the life advice session. The reason is that life is hard.
Tablo shares life advice on uncertainty, trying new things, and embracing failure to find your path in life.
Key Takeaways
- It's normal not to know your future path; don't be hard on yourself.
- Trying different activities helps you discover what you like and dislike.
- Failure and setbacks are valuable learning experiences.
- Social labels don't define you; find your own identity.
- Open communication and patience are essential during uncertain times.
What the video covers
- Tablo discusses the common struggle of not knowing what to do with your life and reassures viewers that it's normal.
- He emphasizes that the future is unpredictable and encourages trying various activities to discover what you like and dislike.
- Tablo shares personal stories about his experiences with sports and how they helped him understand his preferences.
- He highlights the importance of eliminating options by learning what you don't want to do.
- Tablo reflects on social labels like 'jock,' 'nerd,' and 'weirdo' and how he found his identity among 'weirdos' through arts.
- He advises viewers to be patient with themselves and not to be pressured by societal expectations or timelines.
- Tablo encourages openness and communication when feeling confused or stuck in life.
- He stresses that failure and trying many things are part of the journey to finding your passion.
- The video includes encouragement to stay calm and hopeful during difficult times.
- Tablo also promotes an upcoming Epik High tour for fans in the US and Canada.
Chapters
- 00:00Introduction and Life Advice Overview
- 02:09Advice for Not Knowing Your Future
- 03:50The Unpredictability of the Future
- 05:51Personal Stories About Sports and Self-Discovery
- 07:49Social Labels and Finding Your Identity
- 10:07Reflections on College and Self-Understanding
- 11:46Encouragement and Final Thoughts
Full Transcript — Download SRT & Markdown
Speaker A
Life is annoying. Life is aggravating. So today, we're gonna look at more life advice calls for help.
Speaker A
Welcome to Hey Tablo. If you're having a hard day or a hard week or a hard month, I am here to provide light and sunshine.
Speaker A
But before I begin, may I ask, if you're living somewhere in the United States or in Canada, if you're listening from those places, Epik High is gonna tour there September 30th and all through October.
Speaker A
So please go to epikhigh.com, check for your city, and get tickets. See you soon. All right, let's begin.
Speaker A
So we asked the community, on our community board, "Do you need advice with anything?
Speaker A
I'm not qualified to give advice, but I'll try, and you can take it or not take it." And there were a lot, a lot of comments.
Speaker A
"I need some serious advice desperately. What do I do?" If I don't know what I want to be in the future, what if I don't have any dream or ambition?
Speaker A
What do I do then? It really feels like I'm stuck here while the rest of the world is moving forward.
Speaker A
This is the perfect time for me to respond to this question because I recently... I was at this place and I was getting something fixed, like an item of mine, right?
Speaker A
And the person who fixed it was like, "You don't need to pay me." And I was like, "What? No, I gotta pay you." And he's like, "No, I actually want some advice.
Speaker A
Can you just pay me with advice?" And I was like, "Can I just pay you?" No, I'm kidding.
Speaker A
So he asked me for advice. And apparently his kid doesn't know what they want to do with their life.
Speaker A
And the dad asked me, like, you know—You seem to know what you want to do from now on.
Speaker A
Like from watching your interviews, it seems like even when you were young, you knew what you wanted to do.
Speaker A
So, like, how can I advise my kid in a way where they'll have something that they want to do in the future, right?
Speaker A
And I was like, "Oh, I had no idea that I was gonna end up being a musician or rapper or like a YouTuber.
Speaker A
Like, I didn't know any... I didn't imagine until I did it. I didn't imagine, right?
Speaker A
And I was like, "How old is your kid?" And not even in high school.
Speaker A
So I'm like, "Come on." I'm like, "They're not supposed to know what they want to do yet." And he was like, "Really?" And I was like, "Yes." Like—This is the period of time where you just try a bunch of things.
Speaker A
You just, like, you know, you just dabble in this and dabble in that. Because first you need to figure out what you don't want to do.
Speaker A
By the way, a lot of people seconded this question, okay? And liked this question, so I think a lot of people are going through this.
Speaker A
First of all, the future is exactly, like by definition, something you cannot predict, okay?
Speaker A
So do not be hard on yourself for not knowing what you want to do with your future or in your future, because no one does.
Speaker A
Like, the future is not predictable, okay? So it's totally normal and okay for you not to know what you want to do a year from now or 10 years from now. So first of all, calm down.
Speaker A
It's gonna be okay. And as I was saying, if you can't figure out what you want to do, just try a bunch of things because it's just as important to figure out what you don't want to do.
Speaker A
And that's what I told the dad, and that's what I would like to tell gotbangtan77: try sports. Try different hobbies.
Speaker A
You may like it, you may hate it, but learning that you don't like something will at least eliminate something in the way of you finding something you actually like, right?
Speaker A
One of the things that I do feel very blessed about, even though my parents were very strict and my upbringing wasn't all rosy,
Speaker A
there was a lot of pressure and at times, like, it felt like the pressure would crush me.
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But one of the things that I'm very, very grateful about is that I was pushed to do a lot of different things.
Speaker A
I had to learn the violin. I did, believe it or not, look at me, I played ice hockey as a kid.
Speaker A
Did you? Yes, in elementary school for years. I also played rugby. What? Believe it or not.
Speaker A
Competitive, like, football as well. I played safety. Um, and I played all these sports where being small and Asian didn't help.
Speaker A
And I played these aggressive sports until kids started... Like, when we first started, I was so young, and everyone else was too, that no one had hit their growth spurt.
Speaker A
But slowly, some kids got their early growth spurt, and I started being outsized by them, right?
Speaker A
And all the sports that I was doing were very physical, so I was getting knocked around, getting injured, and it made me realize that I hate sports.
Speaker A
But then later on in high school, I, for some odd reason, convinced myself that I can be athletic again.
Speaker A
And I tried out for tennis, I tried out for varsity soccer, and I didn't make it. And I actually got picked for JV soccer when I was a senior.
Speaker A
But I was happy with that, right? Because me and my friend Hansun, we both got picked for that team.
Speaker A
And here's the thing. One of our games we went, and the other team, this was against regulation, but they put in two girls into their team, and our coach was confused.
Speaker A
Our co-coach was like, "Wait, what's going on here? There's a girls league too, right? So what's going on here?" And I think they just wanted to practice on us because it had already gotten around that we were terrible. And here's the thing, here's the thing.
Speaker A
Hansun was like, "Oh shit, we're gonna win for sure today." We got fucking destroyed. The two girls scored so many goals. We got absolutely destroyed.
Speaker A
Next day we get to school and everyone's like, "Ha, ha." You know how, like, you know, we were childish.
Speaker A
So kids are like, "Oh, you guys got beat by girls." So that was the second time that I realized I don't like sports.
Speaker A
I'm not athletic, right? What I'm trying to say here is I can think of all of that as a waste of time, right?
Speaker A
Because I ended up not doing anything in sports. And I don't even really watch sports, to be honest.
Speaker A
Like, I'm just not interested in sports. But the fact that I went through all of that and realized it made me very comfortable doing everything but sports.
Speaker A
And in my time in high school, you were... You know, they had words like jock, right?
Speaker A
You were either a jock or a weirdo or a nerd. Right? You could be one of the three.
Speaker A
Okay? All these terms are all terrible, but here's the thing. That made me, first of all, cut out jock, right?
Speaker A
Because I just got destroyed, right? Yeah. So jock was out, and I could be a nerd or a weirdo. But the thing is, here's the thing, like don't laugh at me.
Speaker A
That's what the kids used to do. That's what they did, you mean. But here's the problem.
Speaker A
I couldn't be a nerd even. Like, I was, by sophomore year in high school, I was quote unquote smart. But some of my friends... okay, so basically if you're not a jock, you don't have any jock friends from that point on, right?
Speaker A
So I was with a bunch of nerds and weirdos, okay? And I was looking at my group of friends, and the nerds in my group were clearly nerds. Like, they were headed for NASA. Okay?
Speaker A
And one of them actually ended up working for NASA. Ooh. But they were just traditional nerds, like studying all the time and... And I was like, "Okay, I'm not one of them." And then I looked at the two, three weirdos in my group,
Speaker A
and I was like, "Okay, I'm more comfortable with these guys, so I guess I'm a weirdo," right?
Speaker A
And here's the thing. What they used to call weirdos was, like—If you are artsy, like if you were making homemade movies, you know, writing little poems and stuff, and that's what I was doing.
Speaker A
So I fit in immediately with the weirdos. But then I,
Speaker A
So I fit in immediately with the weirdos. But then I, I ran into some other weirdos and like, I was like, "Wait." So what happened is I went to college, and I was like, I immediately got grouped with the English lit crowd, right?
Speaker A
The, the liberal arts crowd. And I was like, "Hey, wait." Maybe I'm not a weirdo because some of these people are really weird. All right?
Speaker A
Like, I do not belong here. And that made me realize I should do something sort of outside of that circle, so I started rapping.
Speaker A
Oh. So I was sort of, like, in the middle of, like, the, quote-unquote, "cool," popular thing to do, and also, like, the weirdo, right?
Speaker A
The weird stuff, okay? I- Mind you, I'm not using these words because I like these words.
Speaker A
I hated these labels, okay? And these labels are terrible because how can you put a person into a label?
Speaker A
Even the jocks, right? Even what we, the, the guys or the girls that we call jocks, like, they're, they're much more complicated and complex than that.
Speaker A
But that's what just high school kids did. I don't know if kids still do that, but, like, that's what they did in the '90s, okay?
Speaker A
And anyways this is, this is a long-ass rant to a question. I'm sure GotBangtan77's like, "Can you just f**king answer the question?
Speaker A
I didn't expect you to, like, give a whole thesis. Like, I didn't... Tablo, you talk too much." Um, but what I'm trying to say is discovering what you are not, can nudge you towards what you are and who you are.
Speaker A
So don't think of these things as a, as a waste of time. Try hobbies.
Speaker A
And also, like- Don't feel bad for, you know, spending days just watching movies or playing games because who knows?
Speaker A
Like pro gamers all started by just playing games, and I'm sure their parents hated it.
Speaker A
I'm sure their friends looked at them like, "Oh, all you do is play games," right?
Speaker A
And now they're being applauded for it. So you never know where you're gonna end up.
Speaker A
And I never imagined I would be sitting here, um, giving life advice, honestly, right?
Speaker A
Like I was a, at, at points in my life I was called a f**k up.
Speaker A
Like, that's what people used to say. They're like, "Oh , Daniel's a f**k up." Right?
Speaker A
But here I am giving life advice with people listening, you know? So, like, don't worry.
Speaker A
And I'd like to finally add, I know the feeling of being stuck while everyone is moving forward, but let me tell you, everyone is not moving forward. You know?
Speaker A
The, the, if you're basing that off of, like, what's visible, like social media or, like, what you hear, they're not gonna share all the moments that they, they tumble or, like, you know, they're not gonna mention that they, they fell for a few months or years.
Speaker A
People usually share the good things, right? And the, the things they're proud of. So if you base it on what's visible, you're gonna feel like you're the only one that's stuck.
Speaker A
But let me tell you, a lot of people, to move forward they, you know, they trip and fall.
Speaker A
And to you, I might seem like I have it together and I'm moving forward all the time and I'm doing like, you know, a lot of, you know, good things and like awesome shiny things.
Speaker A
But let me tell you, it just looks like that. Like to do those things, I, you know, I fall way more.
Speaker A
I, I, I maybe like Out of 100 things I do, like 95 of them don't work out.
Speaker A
So don't, don't, don't care about other people moving forward. I know it's hard to do, but, I mean, that's all I can say. Wow, this one's short and amazingly, uh...
Speaker A
"I have a 14-year-old who is nothing but attitude How has humanity managed to survive when we have a phase as annoying as this?
Speaker A
Ah, so the classic kids these days problem, huh? Let me just say, um, kids these days, ah, f**king kids these days, the youth these days, the young’uns these days.
Speaker A
Um, if you go to, like, hieroglyphics There's like cave engravings where adults are complaining about the, the young generation these days.
Speaker A
I seriously look it up, okay? Every period in history, all the way to ancient times, older people have complained about the, the kids these days.
Speaker A
But the person who, um, commented this seems to understand that Because they're like, "How has humanity managed to survive when we have a phase as annoying as this?" So the, the commenter, the, our community member a- acknowledges that w- we were all probably like this at some point, right?
Speaker A
Oh my God, I was annoying as f**k when I was 14. It's totally normal, but I have it a little easy To be honest, I'm, I'm not sure if I'm qualified to give advice because you guys have seen Haru, right?
Speaker A
She of course she has moments of attitude or you know, like, she snaps at me once in a while, but, like, it's so mild and relatively I think she's, like, she's, you know, she's 16 now, but, like, we rarely fight,
Speaker A
and I- she She knows where, like, to draw the line. So I think I have it pretty easy and I'm really blessed, but I have heard from friends who have, kids of, like, similar age that are just, like, f**king losing their minds.
Speaker A
How can I advise here? I, I have no idea. We were all like that.
Speaker A
You know, it's, it's a phase. It's a phase. Like, they'll They need to, you need to have this moment.
Speaker A
It's better actually to have this phase when you're 14 than, later on. Like, some kids are, like, angels I heard until they're, like, 30, and then this s**t happens when they're, like, 30.
Speaker A
They're like, "All my life I've been a f**king angel, and I get no respect.
Speaker A
It's time for me to demand respect" And then they start going full 14-year-old mode when they're, like, 30.
Speaker A
And you know how pathetic that looks? Okay, it doesn't, like, anybody... Y- you do that s**t outside or, like, at a restaurant, and it just looks terrible.
Speaker A
So thank God your 14-year-old is acting like a 14-year-old now, right? Because if they don't do it right now, I guarantee they'll act like it when they're, like, 30, and even worse when they're 40 I swear.
Speaker A
I have some friends, I'm not gonna name names. It's not, it's not Tukutz is actually very mature, okay? Like, when he needs to be.
Speaker A
Um, but anyways, it's not Tukutz. Um, but That's where I'll leave it. It's not Tukutz.
Speaker A
You're actually moving on. I'm moving on. Always high. Epik High. Do you live in the United States or Canada?
Speaker A
Epik High is coming to you from September 30th all through October. Check for your city right now at epikhigh.com and get your tickets.
Speaker A
Okay, here's another one. "How can I improve my English?" Okay, the fact that you wrote Englissssh, your English is already amazing, 'cause this is how, like, this is how we text.
Speaker A
Like, we al- we're always like, "How the... Yo, how can I Improve my Spanish. [phone ringing] Whoa, whoa, I'm getting a phone call. [phone ringing] 여보세요?
Speaker A
엽떼여? Yeah, oh, oh, Tukutz, what's up? 어 안녕 I, I'm doing Hey Tablo. 헐 뭐임 I 전화 끊음 he just hung up on me I mean, what- Isn't it hilarious he called right after, like, I was talking about It's Not Tukutz and then...
Speaker A
Judging by the handle, I think it's someone who's Korean, living in Korea and wants to improve their English.
Speaker A
Maybe you know, I've heard tha t a lot of people in Korea listen to Hey Tablo for English practice, right?
Speaker A
So I'm assuming you're Korean and you wanna improve your English. I've noticed, I, I don't- I'm not a professor.
Speaker A
I'm not, like, an instructor So I, I don't just take what I say as gospel, but what I've noticed looking at my members, they're actually way better than they think.
Speaker A
Like, your English is way better than you think. But 90%, at least 90% of it is fear It's like being afraid that I'm gonna mispronounce words, being afraid that I'm, I'm, I'm gonna seem like I don't speak English well.
Speaker A
But he- here's what I'm saying, like , in the States, like, people don't actually really care that much if you have an accent because so many people in the States, regardless of where they're from, they all have accents.
Speaker A
Like LA and New York, different accents, right? So people don't really care, and it's I always told Tukutz, I was like, we were once watching this video of Jackie Chan, um, doing a, like, a late night show, and he was in, in the States. And
Speaker A
you know how he has an accent, right? And his English is not perfect, but it was such a great interview, and I was telling Tukutz, I was like, "See? Like, you don't need to sound a certain way. Like, you just have to get your point across. And also,
Speaker A
think of your accent as, like, your unique voice." And if Jackie Chan was in that interview and he was like, "Hmm, so I can't fathom that happening," wouldn't that be weird? It would sound like a voiceover.
Speaker A
That would be weird. It's part of your voice, so just embrace it and just do it.
Speaker A
And if, if somebody's like, m- makes fun of your, you know, accent or like, you know, your grammar, then it- f**k them. Honestly, f**k them.
Speaker A
Because They can't speak your language. You can speak English to the point where they can understand enough to make fun of you, right?
Speaker A
So you speak one more language than they do. So if someone does that, and I've seen people do that, and people have done that to me, but f**k them.
Speaker A
Another way of improving your English is this. It's actually an app that you can download called Speak.
Speaker A
Speak, the app that stays with you until English clicks. There's no, like, hardcore studying involved.
Speaker A
You just follow Speak's learning method, and you'll be speaking English in no time. I don't know if you've seen Epikase's episode where, like, we went to Las Vegas, and then we went to, like, Costco.
Speaker A
And Mithra and Tukutz, they were able to speak perfect English and get around and get what they needed, and they used Speak.
Speaker A
So go check that out as well. All you have to do is follow Speak's three-step method: learn Practice, apply.
Speaker A
And Speak was chosen by a lot of influencers. Speak has made a special promo benefit for Hey Tablo subscribers, so go to the description box.
Speaker A
There's a link. Go there, check out the benefits, and make sure to subscribe. There's al so a file that you can download that has great travel and business English, and that's exactly what Mithra and Tukutz need right now
Speaker A
because we have a tour in the United States. So when we go on tour in October I'm gonna make sure they have this app as well so I'm not the only one that's speaking English on stage.
Speaker A
Tukutz and Mithra are gonna f**king kill it on this tour, all thanks to Speak, our first advertiser.
Speaker A
How much Hey Tablo has grown. We're finally doing ads now. So cute. What is Tukutz gonna make fun of us with now?
Speaker A
But seriously, you speak and listen to Hey Tablo every week, and I guarantee your English will be, amazing by the year's end.
Speaker A
Trust me. Moving on, how to deal with stupid people that need you to guide them step by step when the task is literally the basic ABC of their job.
Speaker A
Like how? Anyway, this person is my boss's daughter. Oh, no. I'm not gonna stereotype.
Speaker A
I'm not gonna say it. I'm not gonna say it. I'm, I'm gonna say it. I- you thought it.
Speaker A
I didn't say it. You, you thought it. You thought it. I did not say anything.
Speaker A
Here's the thing. I legit thought this was written by people I know- in this room.
Speaker A
There's two people in here with me. And both have literally said to me, "H I have to like, I have to guide this person step by step." Yeah, I'm not gonna say about who.
Speaker A
It's n- They're not with us anymore. They're not, they're not here. It's just some people, like some people just, you just, you don't even know how they are in their position, right?
Speaker A
Because not everyone is the boss's daughter, but they're there And they have a pretty good, you know, pretty good position, like pretty good title, and they're getting paid a lot.
Speaker A
But, like, you work with them and you're like, "How the f**k did they keep their job," right?
Speaker A
And then at some point you feel like you should be paid more, like because you're doing a side gig as a, as an instructor, right? Like teaching them the ways of life, right?
Speaker A
This is how you, you know, print- paper. Like this is You go to the menu and you have to press print.
Speaker A
O- okay, and then what? Like, what... And then you go to the f**king printer.
Speaker A
you know, and then what? You f- you take the paper out. Like, you f- it's stuck.
Speaker A
And then I'm just, I'm just like " f**k my life." I don't know what's worse This person who doesn't know how to print or my life, where day in, day out, I have to explain this s**t and, and tell him to search.
Speaker A
To search how to print. Printer broken? Search how to fix. "But I don't know, like, with this specific model." Type the model in the search bar.
Speaker A
Don't ask. Don't f**king ask AI But Gemini says, Gemini says this is what to do.
Speaker A
Don't ask AI. Just search the model and write what's wrong with it, troubleshooting, and you'll see there, there, there, there's gonna be a homepage.
Speaker A
You go there, there's like a, there's a FAQ, there's like a, there's a f**king online manual.
Speaker A
Read the ma- "Oh, I don't wanna read the manual. It's so big." Ah, ah, oh, f**k my life.
Speaker A
How did I end up here? What, what did I do wrong in a previous life?
Speaker A
Did I do something wrong? what I've noticed is that, um, at certain companies, the, the less you do, the quicker you rise to the top I swear to God, there are certain companies where that happens.
Speaker A
It's like company culture, right? But I've, I've seen certain, like, corporations and companies where, like, seriously the less you do and the less ideas you have that you express, the quieter you are, the, the... Because, because okay if you do a lot of work, each thing you do has a risk of Failing, right?
Speaker A
And everything you, every little thing you create, um, you're responsible for, right? That should be rewarded in my opinion, even if you fail, right?
Speaker A
For trying, for, like, coming up with new things. But there are, there are certain companies where It is much more beneficial to not be responsible for anything, right?
Speaker A
When something goes wrong, to not have your name attached to it. You just look at the top, and if the people at the top are all sort of like, like this the... it's a company where, like, just shutting up and, you know, pr- seemingly doing work
Speaker A
and not really creating any value is the quickest way to, like, rise to the top And you don't wanna be there, right?
Speaker A
So recogni- if you recognize that, get the hell out of there. That's what I do. I just get out, right?
Speaker A
If I, you know, back in the day, I've interned at certain companies, you know, like I've had, like I've worked at a coffee shop.
Speaker A
I've worked at like f**king all sorts of places. And when I worked at these places, I would always look at the top, right?
Speaker A
Who's at the top, right? And if these people are people that I can't learn anything from or they're, there's people that didn't earn their way there Then I just leave.
Speaker A
'Cause I'm like, the highest I can possibly go is, right under them. Mm. Or I have to become them. Right?
Speaker A
So if there's no one to respect at the top, leave. But if there's at least one or two people that you can learn something from, stay.
Speaker A
Okay, this is I think this is relationship advice. "My mom doesn't know I'm engaged." Or more like, I think she's figured it out because I wear my ring around her but I haven't told her directly.
Speaker A
She's known that I've been dating my fiance, but from the beginning she's refused to even hear me talk about him.
Speaker A
It sounds childish, but it really hurts my feelings. Oh, it's not childish at all.
Speaker A
It is, y- you, your feelings being hurt doesn't mean you're childish. It's actually, I'm, I'm not, I'm sh- not sure if I can say this, but it's actually your mom being childish but it really hurts my feelings.
Speaker A
He's the best thing that's happened to me, and ironically, he's the one who's, reversed a lot of the trauma my mom has put me through.
Speaker A
The one time she let me talk about him and I told her how kind and supportive he is, she responded, "Oh, so he's just useful to you." She's also started saying cryptic things like, "Oh, I tried so hard to raise you well."
Speaker A
That's it. Doesn't finish the statement. That's... She just ends it there I have two college degrees, a master's, and I'm finishing med school.
Speaker A
I think she raised me well. For context she was born and raised in the Japanese countryside.
Speaker A
Asian household. We have another Asian household situation. we moved to America when my parents were in their, early 30s and I was one.
Speaker A
My fiance is not Japanese, but he is- adamant about preserving both of our cultures for the family we create.
Speaker A
This is a very layered situation, and I can go on and on about it, but I guess my m- underlying question is this: How do I stop caring about what she thinks and just live my life?
Speaker A
Please help, Tablo. [sighs] I would, I would say two, the top two most difficult things in life is, one realizing...
Speaker A
your... Realizing that maybe your family doesn't actually love you. That's one of the most tough things you can, you can feel, right?
Speaker A
And the second most difficult thing is realizing that and then cutting them off. these two things are very, very, very ha-hard because, um, the way we've been, you know trained to think when we watch, like, movies with happy endings
Speaker A
and read stories and fairytales, like, you know, ever since we were kids, like, we, think, we tend to think of the family as, like, this perfect place, right?
Speaker A
In an imperfect world. Like, it's the one place you can go where, you know, everyone's on your side and everyone loves you unconditionally.
Speaker A
unfortunately Family is just, you know, made up of humans, just made up of human beings with, their own self-interests, right?
Speaker A
You're just connected by a stronger bond. But that bond doesn't guarantee that they will love you the way you, you may need, right?
Speaker A
And that works both ways. It's not just parents to kids, but also from kids to parents, right?
Speaker A
Um, so realizing that is very difficult And I think the, the commenter, our community member here, has sort of realized that, right?
Speaker A
And I, I, I second that. Like, y- I, As a... I'm a parent too, so I understand, like, there's probably multiple things that your mom is not happy about.
Speaker A
I think one, maybe she's afraid of losing you and, um It's different when, like, you know, y- your kid gets married and they actually, like... That's when they actually, you know, become, like, a separate entity, and they actually physically leave the house, right?
Speaker A
So it could be her, like, being afraid that you're leaving or, like, I don't know.
Speaker A
It could be all of these things, and while what she's feeling might be justified, the way she's deciding to [sighs] she's deciding to, like- emote or express those things.
Speaker A
It's, she's being very passive aggressive, which has led to you hiding, what c- what, what should be one of the happiest moments in your life, like one of the most defining like moments, right?
Speaker A
What a beautiful thing. You, you're starting a new family. You've met someone you love, but you have to keep that a secret from your mom, right?
Speaker A
And here's the thing Eventually when she finds out, she's gonna be yelling at you and guilt-tripping you.
Speaker A
Th- that's what I think is gonna happen. Um, saying, "How could you keep that from me?
Speaker A
How, how could you lie to me?" Right? When you had to keep it from her because of the way she was acting.
Speaker A
You were reacting. It's not like you did that on purpose. Like, you d- you would love to share this with her, but you can't, right?
Speaker A
I, it would be an ideal world if, your mom understood that. But I mean, first of all, try.
Speaker A
You gotta give it all first, right? Like, you tell her that you, you're getting married. Um, try to, like, tell her that the way she's acting is, I- is not great for your relationship together.
Speaker A
Um, it's not great for her Right? And tell her that, like, you, you know, you wanna start a beau- beautiful life, have a beautiful kid, and, like, you know, y- you're, like, y- you want your kid to go to your grandma and be like, "Grandma,"
Speaker A
and, like, hug her, and, like, you'll create so many beautiful memories. And if none of that works a- and if she keeps it up, and you, you, you, realize that she's not gonna change, or your parent's not gonna change,
Speaker A
or your family member's not gonna change, at some point you have to cut them off To protect your new family, right?
Speaker A
The family you're gonna, you're gonna grow old with. Your husband-to-be, o- once he's your husband and you have a, you raise a kid together, this is the person you're gonna grow old with, and you're gonna share responsibility for a l- for a new life, right?
Speaker A
While parents are important and, um, they should get applauded for the things they did to raise you, like You now, m- in the near future will become a parent, right?
Speaker A
Like, you, you need to, you, you need to have your own life. Um, then you have to cut her off.
Speaker A
Emotionally, you have to cut her off, and that's really hard to do because, it's just socially not acceptable.
Speaker A
You know what I mean? Like, you, you feel guilty, and you feel like a terrible person.
Speaker A
You feel like... In Korea, we have a word called ‘불효자(bulhyoja)’ Right? Which is just someone who's like, you know, t- you know, takes their parents' sacrifice for granted and is just is a, you know, ungrateful f**king piece of s**t.
Speaker A
That's basically what that word means, right? And if you hear that like a, like a kid had to like, like a, like a son or a daughter had to cut off their parents, no one's gonna be like, "What happened?
Speaker A
There must be something that happened," right? There, maybe the, the, the son or daughter tried, but like maybe, you know, it was just too much.
Speaker A
Maybe it was destroying their, their, their life. Um, no one's gonna ask that. They, they're immediately gonna think that you're just a t- terrible child or a terrible son or daughter.
Speaker A
And once you, once that label is on you, it's really heavy. It's really heavy.
Speaker A
Because you don't wanna go around explaining to people why that had to happen even though You're hurting because of your parent.
Speaker A
You don't wanna go around bad-mouthing your own parent even if they deserve it, right?
Speaker A
And people who point fingers at you and guilt trip you are probably doing worse things, right?
Speaker A
Some of them. But they'll do that. So it's a really hard thing to do.
Speaker A
But I mean, this is your life, so you gotta live it And she's gonna find out, so just tell her and try first.
Speaker A
You don't want the regret of not having tried to your fullest, right? You don't wanna look back in 20 years and think, [sighs] "Maybe I should have tried to convince her.
Speaker A
Like, she doesn't even know what I felt." Tell her the way you feel, and hopefully it, it works out.
Speaker A
Um, these situations are so hard. I mean- A lot of people deal with this.
Speaker A
I don't know if that helps. this one's in Korean. I'll read it in Korean first and then using Speak- Turn it into English.
Speaker A
20대가 다 저물고 곧 30대를 맞이하는데 When I, when I read, um- When I read Korean, like, comments, I go into, like, Korean like radio DJ mode.
Speaker A
20대가 다 저물고 30대를 맞이하는데 그냥 몇 가지 조언을 얻고 싶어요. 30대의 타타는 어땠는지도 궁금하고 마냥 어린이일 줄 알았는데 서른이 되려니 너무 우울해짐.
Speaker A
ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ. Okay. So this person is tw- about to turn 30 and, um, is wondering what I was like, what Tablo was like in w- what I was like in my 30s.
Speaker A
And, um- What this person is feeling is like they thought they were gonna be a kid forever, but now that they're facing 30 they just, you know, they're scared and depressed, right?
Speaker A
Let me just say, 30's a baby. Oh, man, you're so lucky. Oh, 아 부러워~ You're 30?
Speaker A
You're only, you're only turning 30? Oh my God. They're like, "Oh, a little baby, a little baby." Did you, you, you saw on Epikase when we ran into that person, like, on the mountain and also in Japan, like, the same person,
Speaker A
and she was 30 and now she's 31. And, and like, and to us, that's like a baby.
Speaker A
But of course, when I was turning 30, I thought... I was acting like... I was so dramatic.
Speaker A
I was like, "Oh, my..." We went to, like, a noraebang, and we were singing 서른즈음에. Right?
Speaker A
It's a song about turning 30, and we're, like, acting like, you know, it's the o- it's over.
Speaker A
Like, you know, the next morning we're gonna wake up, and we're gonna have, like, this long beard.
Speaker A
And we're gonna be talking in, like, parables, and, like... We woke up the next day, and we were just as dumb.
Speaker A
Just as clueless, I swear. They asked if I'm, if what I was like when I was 30, right?
Speaker A
You know that I turned 30, I was 30 when Haru was born. So eh, so I had to like sort of, um, like get a gr- crash course in being like an adult, right?
Speaker A
Not only had I suddenly gone from 29 to 30 I I was now becoming a dad, I was married, and also Tajinyo, the scandal wa- was happening.
Speaker A
so not, not only like not just one change to my life, like I was also like, I, I lost my career and I had like, it was just everybody hating me.
Speaker A
And a- and me actually being in physical threat. It wasn't just an online thing, right?
Speaker A
Like, I was in physical- I was being threatened, like my life was being threatened.
Speaker A
So I was dealing with all of that just as I was 30. So it's like I wanted to go, like, back into, like, childhood.
Speaker A
I, I... You know what's crazy is, like, when all of that hits you at the same time, it, like, makes you, like, want... It, makes you a, a child again, 'cause I basically 진...진짜로 Koreans popping out 'cause I'm like... But seriously, like it was so overwhelming,
Speaker A
all of that all at the same time, that like I, I, I seriously went like this.
Speaker A
I was like... You know, like a, like a scared little kid in the corner of the room.
Speaker A
Like, "What do I do? My parents are yelling. What do I do?" That that's, that's what it turns you into.
Speaker A
And not just because I had, you know, that fantastical, like, scandal or whatever, like, s- terrible thing happen.
Speaker A
Even that aside, just being a dad, because I'm so, I, I was so confused.
Speaker A
I was like, "H this kid's so small, like, so fragile. I, and this baby, I don't know, like, how to even hold her.
Speaker A
Like, what if, what if I drop her? Like, what, like, what do I, what, what is this? Like, w- a diaper?
Speaker A
I ah." I was just as confused. I'm just saying. Um, I'm assuming that, um, the person who commented th- this I, I'm assuming that you don't have it as, as heavy as I did.
Speaker A
You're just turning 30. That's it. You're gonna wake up tomorrow and it's gonna be just another day.
Speaker A
And trust me at my age now, and, like, Tukaz and Mithra when we get together and we talk We were so young in our 30s.
Speaker A
Like, we look back at pictures and, like, people say that, you know, Epik High, that, you know, we, we haven't changed much, but we have.
Speaker A
And, like we, we had so much, more, you know vitality when we were 30. Like, I, I swear.
Speaker A
So just enjoy it. Your 30s are gonna be awesome. And let me tell you, after that, your 40s are gonna be awesome, too.
Speaker A
Just live just live without really thinking about it. I do, until the thought creeps into my brain at 4:00 in the morning and I wake up and I'm like- " f**k, I'm so old. What do I do?" And I w- and it's like 7:00 AM.
Speaker A
And I'm like, "Ah." You're gonna be fine Oh, someone also asked, um, any advice for someone turning, entering their 40s?
Speaker A
Well, I just gave it to you. Doesn't matter what age you're going into. just, just don't think about it too much.
Speaker A
"How do guys know that they want to marry their girlfriend? How did you know with your wife?
Speaker A
I love the Hey Tablo podcast. I watch the episodes on repeat." Thank you. I don't know how guys know that they wanna marry their girlfriend.
Speaker A
I'm not those guys. No every guy is different, right? how did I know with my wife?
Speaker A
well, like, h- here's the thing. When we first started dating, both of us, um, said to each other that, like, like, the whole, like, idea of getting married, like, we talked about it and we were like, you know, we're both, we were both fine just dating forever Without getting married, right?
Speaker A
But at a certain point, even when we were, like, arguing and stuff like this, like, I felt like, uh... Yeah, I just, I don't know.
Speaker A
It's just like you sense that, you just s- you just see yourself, like, getting old with the person, you know?
Speaker A
And, like, good things and bad things, like, all of that together, like, you just feel like this would be a good person to have by your side And it would be great if you can, you can be that person for that person as well.
Speaker A
And then like later on it, you know, one thing leads to another and it happens.
Speaker A
I don't think anybody just like... I don't think they're... You know, like people always say that you just know.
Speaker A
But I mean, if you just know, why, why would 50% of people get divorced? That, 'cause that, it just mathematically doesn't make sense.
Speaker A
'Cause some, some, some just knew wrong. But I think people put too much into, um, m- that moment when you know you're gonna marry someone, or the proposal, or the wedding, or, like, or, like, falling in love.
Speaker A
I think people put too much in that and not enough in the amount of work Daily, after you get married.
Speaker A
It's not just like you, you have th- like this, this like bells ringing, like birds chirping moment, and then you have like 30, 40, 50 years of, you know, just happiness, happily ever after.
Speaker A
That's not how life and love, you know, works. It's like every single day you, you, you work hard and Sometimes you, you, you know, you trip, and then the next day you try a little harder, and next... Every day is a test, right?
Speaker A
And you just keep doing that. And my wife and I have been married for a very long time now, since 2009. Wow.
Speaker A
So it's, in about three years it's gonna be... Damn, how long is that? 20 years. [gasps] 20 years- Whoa we'll have been married Right?
Speaker A
And same thing with Tukutz. Tukutz got married two weeks before me. Mithra was the, like, he was the last person to get married in our group, and he's been together for, like, more than a decade now, right?
Speaker A
So what I'm saying is I don't think it matters that much how it starts and how you know.
Speaker A
Just know that every day you work at it. How do you stay creative in a world that demands you to optimize everything?
Speaker A
your time, your routines, your meals, your writing. Everything seems to be about optimization these days, and it's really getting to my head.
Speaker A
I used to enjoy watching films. It came with so much, ease and excitement. Now I overthink the act of sitting down and watching the art house film that's been sitting on my list.
Speaker A
It seems like it's a waste of time that could be spent, I don't know, creating a new business venture or something.
Speaker A
Okay. I've given talks about this. t- like, I've been invited by, like, these big companies I, and brands to, like, speak to their, staff f- about, like, how to be creative.
Speaker A
And I, I gave this talk about how things we, we consider a waste of time, absolutely are not a waste of time. But our society has, ugh, the, it's the hustle culture.
Speaker A
And I, I, like, ugh, I, I don't even watch that s**t, but on my feed it's like- All these like hustle bros like f**king like, "Oh, how to build a billion-dollar business." You know?
Speaker A
Like, you know, like what stocks to buy. You know, crypto. Like dude, like yo maximize.
Speaker A
Yo f**king crush it, right? And like wake up at 2:00 AM. f**king put in your third workout by 8:00 AM.
Speaker A
Have 19 snacks. And what are they doing? They're, they're do- they're on their phone posting that content.
Speaker A
You really think these people are really maximizing their time? They're not. But this like these false promises have made, um, these quiet experiences worthless, seemingly worthless, and they're not.
Speaker A
Watching art house films You will feel emotions that that, that the highly optimized crowd will never feel until it's too late.
Speaker A
I've seen so many, people that have been, quote-unquote, "crushing it" for like a decade f**king absolutely crash out.
Speaker A
Like literal just burn out within like a moment Right? And everything falls apart, right?
Speaker A
Because they've never allowed room for being human. And then when, like, circumstances and, like, you know, bad fortune, like, hits them like a brick wall, they don't know how to overcome it because they've never felt this emotion But so many art house films are like so freaking heartbreaking and miserable to watch that you,
Speaker A
you get vicarious like, um, experience with those emotions. Like you, you, like it's, it's like poking at you to like, to, to feel things that you, you normally would not feel, right?
Speaker A
And then, and then you, you, you get ready You learn you, you f- you feel what it is like to be human.
Speaker A
If you've never been near fire, the first time you see fire, you're either gonna jump into it or put your hand in it because it's so beautiful, right? Light's dancing.
Speaker A
Only people who have had minor burns or understood that it can hurt, uh will know that fire is to be avoided or to be used, in a safe way.
Speaker A
So that's what art prepares you for. That's why you read books. That's why you, you, you watch art house films.
Speaker A
That's why you go to the opera. That's why you, like, watch ballet. That's why you watch Epikase and Hey Tablo, right?
Speaker A
To experience a, like a kaleidoscope of emotions Before you're hitting a wall and being forced to experience that emotion for the first time.
Speaker A
So do those things. And that's what I advised when I gave those talks. I don't do them anymore because I'm like, "Who am I to give advice to people who are like, who have like stock options and s**t?"
Speaker A
Or like, headed for a billy. Um- I'm, I, I don't do those talks anymore 'cause I don't really like it, and that's why I'm doing Hey Tablo instead, right?
Speaker A
you can get it for free. And let me just say it's not a waste of time.
Speaker A
Do those things and, and f**k optimization. We're not made to be an app. Humans are not made to be AI.
Speaker A
We're not made to be software. We're, you know, we're unpredictable And if you don't embrace that unpredictability, it'll crush you because nothing in this world is predictable.
Speaker A
You can't optimize for the future because it's literally just a big mystery. By the way, if you watched last episode, like you, you know how many movies I've seen, right?
Speaker A
I, I watch movies all the time, and I don't care who says it's a waste of time.
Speaker A
It is not a waste of time. It wasn't a waste of time for the people who made the movie, and it's not a waste of my time for watching them.
Speaker A
Even if I watch a bad movie, like I, I, I learn something from that too.
Speaker A
So like, just, just do it and don't let people tell you that like, you know, every week, um, listening to Hey Tablo and watching Hey Tablo is a waste of time Don't let them say that.
Speaker A
Tukutz actually, actually meant it when he said, "Why are you doing a podcast? What a waste of time.
Speaker A
No one listens." "No one listens." But you're listening. I don't care how many people listen.
Speaker A
You're listening. You're asking for advice. We're talking. We're having a conversation. And let me just tell you, you guys asking me for help gives me help.
Speaker A
Seriously It's today talking to you about these things, has been... I've let go of some, some things, you know, that I've, I've had no one to talk to about, like things that I was feeling.
Speaker A
Even the, even if I didn't say it explicitly, some of the things that were mentioned today, like hit certain nerves and, and I can't talk about it.
Speaker A
Like, I, I'm like a, I'm a leader in my team. I'm a, I'm a dad.
Speaker A
Like I can't be the one at home, like, talking about the, you know, the, the sadness I feel sometimes.
Speaker A
So sometimes I have nowhere to tell these, you know, things to. But just hearing your thoughts really helped me today.
Speaker A
So maybe that's the solution after all. Tell someone. Always tell someone when you feel something that's perplexing, something That feels like it's lodged in your heart, just like tell someone.
Speaker A
That's the first step. I'll see you next week.
Topics:life advicefinding purposeuncertaintyself discoveryTabloEpik Hightrying new thingsfailureidentitymotivation
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