Speaker A
Transcriber: Mireia López Reviewer: Walaa Mohammed (Hidden Heroes TEDx Kazimierz) In September 2022, my mother brought me a cup named Magda.
Magda Stęga shares how small acts of kindness can significantly impact the transgender community, especially in Poland's challenging environment.
Key Takeaways
- Small acts of kindness can have a profound impact on transgender individuals’ daily lives.
- Legal and social challenges for transgender people in Poland are significant and require systemic change.
- Creating inclusive workplaces involves respecting names, pronouns, and fostering empathy and trust.
- Starting conversations about identity and pronouns helps normalize and support transgender people.
- Support from family and society is crucial for transgender individuals’ well-being and acceptance.
What the video covers
- Magda Stęga discusses her personal journey as a transgender woman in Poland, including legal battles to change her name and gender marker.
- She highlights the discrimination transgender people face, especially in workplaces where many do not feel safe to be out.
- Magda emphasizes the importance of small acts of kindness, such as a bank advisor using her chosen name on a credit card.
- She explains the challenges transgender people face in Poland, including lack of healthcare coverage for affirming surgeries.
- Magda encourages companies to build inclusive workplaces focused on empathy, trust, and safety.
- She advocates for normalizing conversations about names and pronouns to create safe spaces.
- Magda shares the importance of respecting transgender individuals’ names and pronouns to support their identity.
- She recounts her mother’s journey from fear to acceptance, symbolized by a cup with her chosen name.
- Magda calls on everyone to start conversations and small acts of kindness to make a big difference.
- The talk stresses that inclusion requires conscious policy changes and genuine support beyond mere intention.
Chapters
- 00:00Introduction and personal story of legal name change
- 00:56Challenges faced by transgender people in Poland and workplaces
- 02:28Small acts of kindness and their impact
- 06:07How to support transgender individuals and start conversations
- 07:59Respecting names and pronouns in daily life
- 09:38Family acceptance and concluding message
Full Transcript — Download SRT & Markdown
Speaker A
It was a symbol of her acceptance. Magda is a name that I had to legally fight for in court and sue my own parents.
Speaker A
I really hope one day everyone will be able to live their life authentically without fear of discrimination.
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Did you know that each transgender person in Poland has to sue, which means bringing to court their own parents to change their legal name and gender marker?
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Otherwise, we face discrimination and exposure of our gender identity. My name is Magda, my pronouns are she/her, and I’m helping companies to build inclusive workplaces with a focus on empathy, trust, and safety.
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So, who is a transgender person? It's an individual whose gender identity, expression, and behavior differ from the gender assigned at birth.
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In my case, when I was born, a doctor saw I had a penis and automatically registered me as male on my birth certificate.
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So, how is the situation for transgender people when we talk about companies? Transgender people are twice as likely to be unemployed.
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Also, more than half of transgender people do not feel comfortable being out at their workplace. Those data are so important and so sad.
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What can companies do to support transgender individuals, for example? Indeed, which is an employment and search company, is helping transgender people in the US to change their states for more support if they need it.
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And also, they are helping by giving $10,000 to each transgender person to go through affirming surgery, which is not covered in Poland at all, unfortunately.
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But how is the situation for transgender people in Poland? So each day, each time when I'm going out, I have a feeling like everyone is staring at me, judging me.
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I constantly wonder, do I look feminine enough? Do I look the part? It’s such a not nice feeling, it’s horrible.
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I don’t want to live like that anymore. But let’s consider something that is more pleasant for transgender people, like using a credit card in my case.
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So once, when I started my transition, I went to the bank branch and the advisor named Damian welcomed me.
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And when I started to introduce myself as Emma with pronouns she/her, it was, you know...
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After saying it 10,000 times, I felt so exhausted. I felt like... [sighs] That word. It’s not good. But that person named Damian gave me hope.
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He gave me a card which was named M., full stop, instead of Maciej, which was my... which was my full name before I transitioned.
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It was a small act of kindness, but it meant a lot to me and it changed my daily life.
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When I was looking at that card, I felt comfortable and it was a very good moment in my life.
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[chuckles] I really felt like there were some people who really cared about our stories in countries like Poland.
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So, those small acts of kindness are so important. During that, the heart is so emotional, and...
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... sometimes... ...there is no possible way to change for some individuals. And this is why I’m doing what I’m doing for companies and for society to change something.
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As we said, small actions can change a lot for some people. I was so grateful to him.
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I wanted to give him a hug, but I was a bit, you know... shy. I didn’t know how he would react.
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But maybe one day I will give it to him. So what can you do to support transgender individuals?
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Do not be afraid to start a conversation. You can always start it yourself. For example, you can say, “Hi, my name is...” For example, Magda, and my pronouns are she/her.
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And then, you can ask a person, “What is your name?” “Would you feel comfortable sharing your pronouns?” According to The Trevor Project from the US, nearly 50% of youth who identify as LGBTQ+ are transgender or non-binary.
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What does that mean? Companies who would like to create a safe space where everyone is welcomed, accepted, and respected need to change their policies and processes to be more inclusive and more conscious, because I believe it’s about not only intention,
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but it's about support. As I said, if you are starting, begin with yourself. Tell your name, tell your pronouns, and then, you can ask the person.
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That’s a big signal that you are creating a safe space where everyone can be themselves.
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So do not be afraid to start a conversation. And as I said, you can ask, “What is your name?” and “Would you feel comfortable sharing your pronouns?” Unfortunately, I’ve been in many situations where people didn’t listen to me.
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As I said, when I started my transition and I introduced myself as Emma, with pronouns she/her, and for example, the doctor that did my Adam’s apple removal looked at me and he said, “No, no, no, no, no. You are not Emma, you are Maciej,”
Speaker A
which is, in the Polish language, a typical male name. And he said to me, “I can’t call you Ma, because it’s not what it says on your ID.” Do not be like him. It’s not okay.
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If a person is telling you their name or pronouns, what can you do? You can respect it, you can listen to it.
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And, what can you do? Support us. And again, it’s that important because we totally change our lives.
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And each day, sometimes we feel like everyone is against us. So a small act of kindness, a small act of support, means a lot.
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How about making a difference for transgender individuals? Have you talked about it yet? Normalizing the topic and eliminating discomfort on both sides by understanding our needs, challenges, and feelings.
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And you can be like my mother, the person who... ...changed... ...her... ...beliefs, because she is very Catholic.
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First of all, when she heard from me that I’m transgender, she had a lot of fears.
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But in the end, in September 2022, she came to my house, she gave me a cup. So, you can always give a small sign of acceptance.
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It could be a cup, it could be a different thing. But it can change the life of us.
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[Applause] (Hidden Heroes TEDx Kazimierz)
Topics:transgenderLGBTQ+inclusionworkplace diversityPolandpronounsempathylegal rightsaffirming surgeryTEDx
