Speaker A
Um, sausage rolls, um, crisps, nuts, um, a French bread. Hang on. Slow, slow down, Derek. Sausage rolls, French bread. I'll just go straight for it. Ready?
Hilarious outtakes from Ricky Gervais' Derek Series 1 featuring funny bloopers, character banter, and behind-the-scenes moments.
Key Takeaways
- Outtakes provide insight into the relaxed and humorous atmosphere on set.
- The cast engages in playful teasing and improvisation.
- The humor is often based on awkwardness and character flaws.
- Behind-the-scenes moments can be as entertaining as the scripted show.
- The transcript highlights Ricky Gervais' signature comedic style.
Summary
- The transcript captures humorous outtakes and bloopers from Derek Series 1 by Ricky Gervais.
- Characters struggle with lines, causing laughter and interruptions.
- There is playful banter about food items like sausage rolls, crisps, and French bread.
- Characters joke about awkward topics such as personal insecurities and relationships.
- The dialogue includes references to other characters and humorous situations on set.
- The tone is informal, with frequent use of comedic profanity and casual speech.
- There are moments of self-deprecating humor and exaggerated storytelling.
- The outtakes reveal the camaraderie and behind-the-scenes dynamics among cast members.
- The transcript includes references to pop culture and social commentary.
- Overall, the content showcases the lighter, unscripted moments during filming.
Full Transcript — Download SRT & Markdown
Speaker A
Right. No, no. Keep going. Keep going. Keep going. French bread, crisps, nuts. It will. It will this time. It will this time. Okay.
Speaker A
Hang on. Slow down. Sausage rolls. Crisps. Oh, [ __ ] hell. Didn't even get to it.
Speaker A
Didn't even get to the noise. Didn't even get to the noise. Um, Vivant, he was nearly there.
Speaker A
Yeah. Okay. Chicken KV crisps. Hold on. Hold on. Slow down. Sausage rolls. Yeah. I can't do it. What do you mean? Of course you can. Of course you can.
Speaker A
Hang on. Hang on. Slow. Slow down. Hang on a sec. Sausage rolls. Yeah. Right. [ __ ] myself. Meeting's over.
Speaker A
Oh, [ __ ] Do I have to be in this? Hey, do I have to be here for this? 'Cause I can't do this. It's a big ass.
Speaker A
Baby bird falling out of his nest. Hannah, baby bird have fallen out of his nest.
Speaker A
I saved it. Call the RSPCA quick. I can't call the RSPCA, Derek. What? I think you should put it back where you found it.
Speaker A
I can't. What if a cat gets it? Or magpie, think. Well, put it somewhere safe.
Speaker A
I just went I Derek Derek got all I went think I quite like that. Think think woman.
Speaker A
Oh, okay. Sorry. When Derek turns it. Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The Halloween episode.
Speaker A
Just [ __ ] think for a change. You know, I'm often asked, you know, Kev, why don't you get into the porn industry, mate? You love your mood, go for it, mate. You deserve it.
Speaker A
You're going cash on tap 24/7. Who's asking you that? A sister. Gash on tap 24/7. Gash on tap.
Speaker A
He answered simple. I can't. I've got a stamping knob. That's so big. Thanks. He did it. He did it so well.
Speaker A
I've got a stamping knob. I have no shaft to speak of. No gripage. A I never never Okay, this is nearly impossible.
Speaker A
You don't give a [ __ ] about the signature. She's just using it as a way of getting closer to women.
Speaker A
What's the problem with that? Well, I don't think that's how you should be working.
Speaker A
Well, I do. You got a permanent boner on the go, mate. Just hold on a second. Just pick it up. Pick it up. Pick it up. Shouldn't you shouldn't be doing it.
Speaker A
Why? 'Cause Joanna Lumley wasn't all over the girkers. Kev, go on. What? Just lay off with that.
Speaker A
I can't lay off. I've got a permanent one on the go. Have you got a boner now?
Speaker A
Yes. Yes, he has. Yeah, see it. Why have you got a boner now? [ __ ] me.
Speaker A
Have you got a bone in now? Yes. Yes, he has. Why? Hairy women. I know it looks stupid. People I hear people shouting at me on the street.
Speaker A
Someone the other day said, "There's an egg with sideburns." Say that again. He said, "It's not just there. It's a head. Completely round egg-like thing with a V on it. A little strange face. [ __ ] face." And then
Speaker A
I'm not worried about me hair. Why have you got a V in the front as well?
Speaker A
It's just the way it is. But why is it why is the head completely Why is everybody worried here ABOUT He's been THROUGH THIS CONVERSATION A THOUSAND TIMES IN REAL LIFE.
Speaker A
ANYWAY, it's nature. It's not nature, mate. It is nature. It is nature. That's exactly what it is. This bit [ __ ] off.
Speaker A
That bit stayed. DON'T WORRY. OH GOD. NO CHANCE. NO CHANCE BECAUSE IT'S WHERE HIS ANGER COMES THROUGH.
Speaker A
That [ __ ] off. That [ __ ] off. This bit stayed. She wanted to go on top at one point.
Speaker A
Isn't that Derek? Starts rolling towards me. I was like, "No, no, please don't." Thought bloody Tiananmen Square in there.
Speaker A
Hand pump after hand pump. Hand pump after hand pump. A lot of boob work.
Speaker A
Just making these things up. Me and Michael the security guard are like that. He absolutely loves talking to me. Great listener.
Speaker A
Probably the only bloke I'd have a threesome with. So my mom used to make jam out of strawberries, mate. Used to strain it through her tights, which was a little off-putting.
Speaker A
I said to her, at least use the leg of the tights instead of the bloody gusset.
Speaker A
No, no, no, no. That's what Nan used to do. I know that's what Nan used to do.
Speaker A
But Nan wasn't smothered in thrush, was she? She had everything else. Sorry. That's great.
Speaker A
No, no, no. That's what Nan used to do. I know that's what Nan used to do, but now I'm so sorry, David. That was heading to perfection. But I laughed. I said to her, "Lie, use the leg of the tide
Speaker A
instead of the bloody gusset." No, no, no, no, no. That's what Nan used to do. I know that's what Nan used to do, but Nan wasn't smothered in thrush, was she?
Speaker A
[ __ ] me. I don't know what's going to I don't know if I'm going to be able to do this. No, no, no, no. That's what Nan used to do. I know that's what Nan used to do, but Nan wasn't smother in thrush.
Speaker A
I saw I saw Hawk go. I went as well. That was too much. It's the word thrush.
Speaker A
All right, the lesson is in session. You want to deal with white man's oppression? Click, click, bang. My suggestion about I didn't even hear any of that. I don't know what you're going on about.
Speaker A
I was just, you know, you're Neil Diamond. I am. I said, [ __ ] hell. CLICK CLICK COMPRESSION WAS BAD ENOUGH. [ __ ] ME. HE JUST SHOT HIM IN THE HEAD.
Speaker A
AND he goes behind a Neil Diamond. Between me and you, like if you had to, which one of them would you do?
Speaker A
I'm just saying that, you know. All right. I'm thinking about it. Oh, all of them in a pile.
Speaker A
Yeah. What? What do you do here? What's your purpose? Just walking around making a place like a [ __ ] genuine argument.
Speaker A
GENUINE ARGUMENT. You are a loser. You've got no reason to be here, Kev. Oh, really?
Speaker A
Just knocking around here all day, don't you think? Think that's weird? You're knocking around in old people's zone for fun.
Speaker A
Oh. I do I do think that's such a good point. You know Hannah's got you out here 'cause you stink. Making a smell in there like knocking about with a [ __ ] crab stick.
Speaker A
You've got burkness sewn up. That is all you've got to offer. Is that right?
Speaker A
Yeah, it is. It is. Water of a duck's bollocks, mate. Water's never been near your bollocks.
Speaker A
That's the problem. You [ __ ] stink. Have a bath. You smelly [ __ ].
Topics:DerekRicky Gervaisouttakesblooper reelcomedybehind the scenesBritish humorimprovisationfunny momentsTV series
