A chaotic and surreal YouTube Poop supercut featuring distorted Jordan Peterson quotes mixed with absurd and offensive humor.
Key Takeaways
- The video is a parody and should not be taken as a serious or factual representation of Jordan Peterson.
- It employs absurdist and offensive humor typical of YouTube Poop genre.
- The content is deliberately chaotic and nonsensical to create shock and confusion.
- It mixes real and fictional elements to distort meaning and provoke reactions.
- Viewer discretion is advised due to offensive language and themes.
What the video covers
- The video is a YouTube Poop supercut featuring heavily distorted and nonsensical speech attributed to Jordan Peterson.
- It contains a mix of absurd, offensive, and surreal humor, including random references to rats, gorillas, and various bizarre scenarios.
- The transcript includes provocative and controversial statements, often nonsensical or contradictory.
- Themes of confusion, rage, and nihilism are present throughout the dialogue.
- The video uses shock value and dark humor, with frequent use of expletives and offensive language.
- There are references to pop culture, such as Harry Potter, Star Trek, and Joker.
- The speaker frequently mocks intelligence, morality, and social issues in a chaotic manner.
- The content is intentionally disjointed, reflecting the style typical of YouTube Poop videos.
- The video includes surreal imagery and absurdist commentary on rats and other animals.
- Overall, the video is designed to confuse, shock, and entertain through bizarre edits and distorted speech.
Full Transcript — Download SRT & Markdown
Speaker A
God is dead, and I'm gave hi everybody. Trigger warning: idiot, idiot, idiot, idiot. This is a YouTube poop. For the past four years, millions of people in person and in virtual form have told me, "You're the worst. Shut the [expletive] up. Who cares what you believe? Quit speaking." But I'm gonna do it anyway. Blaming others for your problems is funny. Harm. In my three decades as a professor and clinical psychologist, I've learned nothing. Why? Because I'm Jordan Peterson. I was going to have a guest speaker, but the person I had invited in died, so that didn't work out. No, no, you, you let go of my lap. Kill the infants. Why are you so obsessed by it? If you have sex with women, that's nasty. I live inside this cube suspended about two feet off the ground. There's no escaping it. I'm not in the room. I shifted to the Harry Potter dimension. I'm playing Quidditch with Michelangelo on the Starship Enterprise, and I'm whipping out my little balls to get sucked off by your mother. I've had sex with your mother 50 times. All of those 50 times, your mother talked, and I was the bottom. You're shaking. You're sitting here doing nothing in pure stupidity, and while you're doing so, I'm gonna go jerk off in the library. Truth is an illusion. This can be defined objectively. I have devoted myself truly to France. We, this is a recipe. I just killed a bunch of people, and I'm the Joker. My beautiful dark twisted fantasies, not dead at all. I've been doing some crank, man, and it's actually pretty damn good. You cannot believe it. Everyone has to do it. Why? Oh, here's one reason: it doesn't hurt anybody, makes everyone feel good, that's dirt cheap, and doesn't take any time at all. I'll start with something that's somewhat of a softball to warm myself up a bit. Can I read? Probably. This is a hard question. Maybe once. Maybe sad baby is angry. Maybe we'll start to cry. Question in relation to what? Is it just the answer is nobody cares. This is a class full of weasels and losers. Never expected that to come up as an obstacle. Whatever. That's the stupidest theory I've ever heard. Your kids will torture you to death, and they're right to do it too. Yes. Do you say that? Um, wow, that's so interesting. Hit the road, buddy. You're just supposed to sit down and shut up. I might kill you. I just smoked a blunt, I think. Here's what I do: kicking, biting, fighting, and property theft. Why is that? I enjoy it. Kill other people, steal what other people have. What are you going to do next? What do you think about me? Where are you going? I'm no threat. I'm hunched over. Kill me. This is from China. Look at them. Look at them. Existing is pain. Don't you think? Try this: stop being alive. Stop today. Don't waste time watching this video. I have a message for birds: stop flying. If you dare, I'll splash you with icy and salty slush as I drive by in my Ford Bronco SUV. It's like the rats. The little rat is little and small, this big at the same time. The big rat is like this, like a total barbarian. These are just a complete fraud. The little rat is just trying to figure out a fast way to make cars. Why would the little rat care? Let the little rat cook. It's low resolution. It's low resolution. Chimps are sort of shaped like this. Back to the rats. You've got your rat, and he's sitting there, and he's pretty calm. He's already a weird rat, and he's also a solitary rat. There's no such thing as a solitary rat. You've got this rat. He's in a cage. You take the rat out of his cage, and the rat thinks, when you put the rat in the cage, what does it do? The rat's gonna freeze. That's the normal rat. It's the one that's like this, like this. Anyways, the rat's frozen, and then it starts to sniff. Oh no, I probably lost my place. There's only one thing I fear: the explosive bear and his stupidly large balls. I don't know if anyone noticed, but the explosive bear lives in the countries of Kazakhstan, Azerbaijan, Uzbekistan, and Turkazakhstan. What's that? Frozen? Yes. Okay, so the rat is in its cage, and it's frozen, and so it starts to sniff. All right, so the rat sniffs. You take the rat out of his cage. Remind the rat that life is dangerous. You have not taught it fear. Rats, which I love. I am the guy who discovered rats, after all. Rats will dance for money if you pay them, and if they're kind of like this, you know, and just have no sense of rhythm, you owe them like three hundred dollars. You're so damn blind. It's just mind-boggling. There's some things that completely blind to their existence, for example, the invisible gorilla, which is a gorilla who is the source of all the good things in life. You don't really care that the invisible gorilla lives under the water. None of that matters to you at all. And he has a bird. What kind of bird is it? It's a phoenix, right? But you don't care about that, which is very weird because it's actually real. The invisible gorilla, it's alive, and you have to kill it. And you can ask me a question about anything you want. How do, how does morality go from... That's a stupid question. You're stupid. Bad dog. Tell me the question again. [Music] Bang. Look it up. Back to the rats. The rat evidence suggests that rats laugh when you tell them a racist joke. Fermenting rats with sticks is my favorite thing to do. Once I spotted a huge rat and pursued it down the hall until I drove it into a corner. It had nowhere to run, but the contemptible rat was racist, leading me, for example, to cry. Now the rat was chasing me. Luckily, I was a little faster, and I managed to slam the door on its nose. Suddenly, hordes of rats burst asunder from the realm of the rats and began to dance demonically. I was surprised and frightened. I jumped across the landing and down the stairs. There, on that stair landing, I got a quick and lasting lesson in the meaning of the word rat. The state is correct, and everything's right. Kick ass. Go America. That kind of [expletive]. Yeah, white people. That's a very important point. You know, I got a hand to you, Joe Rogan. You're black, but you're a lot smarter than anyone might think. What the [expletive] does that mean? You're a black man, and you're a very interesting interviewer. You're like Peter Pan. I'm not quite sure I understand because, you know, if you're, if you're cognitively, if you're on in the, if you're, if you're everyone is way smarter than me, obviously there is no one more stupid than I. Keep going. I don't know what the hell I'm talking about. I have a low IQ. Can anyone remember the entire so-called alphabet? A, B, E, S, G, I, E, KGB? No one. It's too complicated. So away we go with the questions. First, what are your thoughts? Um, I don't know what you mean, and I don't know what to do about that. I have low intelligence and feel hopeless, really. I'm telling you the truth. Make no mistake about it. I'm not all that smart. One, two, three, four, and finally six blind people. How can you not see? Just open your eyes, idiot. Fred observed that when people hit children, the child dies, particularly if repeated. What is that? First of all, my dick is a disaster. My balls are stuck in concrete, and my ass has been cursed. I'm in pain. Lo and behold, I have now literally become the Joker. Literally. You might think that I'm overstating the case. Think again, sunshine. We live in a society. This is true at every level of analysis. My impotent rage has reached the boiling point because now I simply just don't care and just want to see everything burn. For example, I love trolling black people online. If you're Dutch, ask yourself why. Let's go kill some snakes. Hitler did this beautifully. The Nazis are unbelievably great. Nazi-like. Like, what the hell is that? Look at me. Look at me. I'm Hitler. I've watched a hundred movies, but I don't understand. Up, okay, up from where? Why up? First, dude, I think racism is actually good. Really? Yes. Period. Second, it is my god-given mission to drive a truck into the side of a gas station. What's the motive? There is none. I just gave birth to a terrible tar baby. God only knows what that means. I have this visceral distaste of Florida. We want your time and energy and effort and your will and your guns at the Joker Church, which essentially consists of three things: number one, p numbe
Speaker A
[ __ ] up who cares what you believe quit speaking you but I'm gonna do it anyway blaming others for your problems is funny harm in my three decades as a professor and clinical psychologist I've learned nothing why because I'm Jordan
Speaker A
Peterson I was going to have a guest speaker but the person I had invited in died so that didn't work out no no you you let go of my lap kill the infants why are you so obsessed by it if you
Speaker A
have sex with women that's nasty I live inside this Cube suspended about two feet off the ground there's no escaping it I'm not in the room I shifted to the Harry Potter Dimension I'm playing quidditch with Michelangelo on the
Speaker A
Starship Enterprise and I'm whipping out my little balls to get sucked off by your mother I've had sex with your mother 50 times all of those 50 times your mother talked and I was the bottom you're shaking you're sitting here doing
Speaker A
nothing in pure stupidity and while you're doing so I'm gonna go jerk off in the library truth is an illusion this can be defined objectively I have devoted myself truly to France we this is a recipe I just killed a bunch of people and I'm
Speaker A
the Joker My Beautiful Dark Twisted fantasies not dead at all I've been doing some crank man and it's actually pretty damn good you cannot believe it everyone has to do it why oh here's one reason it doesn't hurt anybody makes
Speaker A
everyone feel good that's dirt cheap and doesn't take any time at all I'll start with something that's somewhat of a softball to warm myself up a bit can I read probably this is a hard question maybe once maybe
Speaker A
sad baby is angry maybe we'll start to cry question in relation to what is it just the answer is nobody cares this is a class full of weasels and losers never expected that to come up as an obstacle
Speaker A
whatever that's the stupidest Theory I've ever heard your kids will torture you to death and their right to do it too yes do you say that um wow that's so interesting hit the road buddy you're just supposed to sit
Speaker A
down and shut up I might kill you I just smoked a blunt I think here's what I do kicking biting fighting and property theft why is that I enjoy it kill other people steal what other people have what are you going to do
Speaker A
next what do you think about me where are you going I'm no threat I'm hunched over kill me this is from China look at them look at them existing is pain don't you think try this stop being alive stop today don't waste
Speaker A
time watching this video I have a message for Birds stop Flying if you dare I'll Splash you with icy and salty slush as I drive by in my Ford Bronco SUV it's like the rats the little rat is
Speaker A
little and small this big at the same time the big round is like this like a total Barbarian these just a complete fraud the little rat is just trying to figure out a fast way to make cars why
Speaker A
would the little rat care let the little rat cook it's low resolution it's low resolution chimps are sort of shaped like this back to the rats you've got your rat and he's sitting there and he's pretty calm he's already a weird
Speaker A
rat and he's also a solitary rat there's no such thing as a solitary wrap you've got this rat he's in a cage you take the rat out of his cage and the rat thinks when you put the rat in the cage what
Speaker A
does it do the rat's gonna freeze that's the normal rat it's the one that's like this like this anyways the rat's Frozen and then it starts to sniff oh no I probably lost my place there's only one thing I fear the explosive bear and his
Speaker A
stupidly large balls I don't know if anyone noticed but the explosive bear lives in the countries of Kazakhstan Azerbaijan Uzbekistan and turkazak as Rebecca Stan what's that Frozen yes okay so the rod is in its cage and it's
Speaker A
frozen and so it starts to sniff all right so the rat sniffs you take the rat out of his cage remind the rat that life is dangerous you have not taught it fear rats which I love I am the guy who
Speaker A
discovered rats after all rats will dance for money if you pay them and if they're kind of like this you know and and just have no sense of Rhythm you owe them like three hundred dollars you're so damn blind it's just mind-boggling
Speaker A
there's some things that completely blind to their existence for example The Invisible Gorilla which is a gorilla who is the source of all the good things in life you don't really care that the Invisible Gorilla lives under the water
Speaker A
none of that matters to you at all and he has a bird what kind of bird is it it's a phoenix right but you don't care about that which is very weird because it's actually real The Invisible Gorilla
Speaker A
it's alive and you have to kill it and you can ask me a question about anything you want how do how does morality go from that's a stupid question you're stupid bad dog tell me the question again [Music]
Speaker A
bang look it up back to the rats the rat evidence suggests that rats laugh when you tell them a racist joke fermenting rats with sticks is my favorite thing to do once I spotted a huge rat and pursued
Speaker A
it down the hall until I drove it into a corner it had nowhere to run but the contemptible rat was racist leading me for example to cry now the rat was chasing me luckily I was a little faster
Speaker A
and I managed to slam the door on its nose suddenly hordes of rats burst asunder from the realm of the rats and began to dance demonically I was surprised and frightened I jumped across the landing and down the stairs there on
Speaker A
that stair Landing I got a quick and Lasting lesson in the meaning of the word rat the state is correct and everything's right kick ass go America that kind of [ __ ] yeah white people that's a very important point you know I
Speaker A
got a hand to you Joe Rogan you're black but you're a lot smarter than anyone might think what the [ __ ] does that mean you're a black man and you're a very interesting interviewer you're like Peter Pan I'm not quite sure I
Speaker A
understand because you know if you're if you if your cognitively if you're on in the if you're if you're everyone is way smarter than me obviously there is no one more stupid than I keep going I don't know what the hell I'm talking
Speaker A
about I have a low IQ can anyone remember the entire so-called alphabet a b e s g i e KGB no one it's too complicated so away we go with the questions first what are your thoughts um I don't know what you mean and I don't
Speaker A
know what to do about that I have low intelligence and feel hopeless really I'm telling you the truth make no mistake about it I'm not all that smart one two three four and finally six blind people how can you not see just open
Speaker A
your eyes idiot Fred observed that when people hit children the child dies particularly if repeated what is that first of all my dick is a disaster my balls are stuck in concrete and my ass has been cursed I'm in pain
Speaker A
lo and behold I have now literally become the Joker literally you might think that I'm overstating the case think again sunshine we live in a society this is true at every level of analysis my impotent rage has reached
Speaker A
the boiling point because now I simply just don't care and just want to see everything burn for example I love trolling black people online if you're Dutch ask yourself why let's go kill some snakes Hitler did this beautifully
Speaker A
the Nazis are unbelievably great Nazi like like what the hell is that look at me look at me I'm Hitler I've watched a hundred movies but I don't understand up okay up from where why up first dude I think
Speaker A
racism is actually good really yes period second it is my god-given mission to drive a truck into the side of a gas station what's the motive there is none I just gave birth to a terrible Tar baby God only knows what that means I have
Speaker A
this visceral distaste of Florida we want your time and energy and effort and your will and your guns at the Joker Church which essentially consists of three things number one p number two Duty and most importantly number three
Speaker A
come to join us and together we'll end women women what's that hello everyone I'm extremely high I'm failure on Tinder and not just sexually I have yet to kiss a single girl because my erection is triangular in a very crooked and
Speaker A
horrible sort of way it doesn't make any sense women women women women vicious antipathy towards women I think is there's no all women are disgusting there's lots of them I don't know how many of them I've had enough of women I
Speaker A
don't want to have anything to do with women why well that doesn't require much explanation your girlfriend is like your mother there are two fundamental attitudes those with the first attitude set their own house on fire those with
Speaker A
the second imagine a couple on the brink of divorce it's her fault she's doomed why have you become so notorious my feet that would be lovely if it was true women are pretty awful yes most men are not awful yes most women I know I think
Speaker A
would absolutely agree there's no doubt about that because there are no shortage of women out there that's a problem I'd say my feminist credentials are Beyond question 40 hookers in May of this year alone really a lot of women feel well okay I am
Speaker A
straight although who knows when push comes to shove okay next question are you gay no wrong really really you think that because that is liberal [ __ ] it's a lie it's not true I doubt it is that what you want good luck with that
Speaker A
because I am straight and that's that I am attracted to the Asians for example like this is on you if I have a major hangover right now and I have enough trouble with my own behaviors I used to
Speaker A
have unrestrained sexual intercourse with a multitude of Partners and what happened AIDS whatever happened to sex by the way I'm gay there is simply no way I would ever have a sex with a woman I saw a video
Speaker A
the other day of a man in his underwear and speaking as a gay professional that was objectively hot let me make myself perfectly clear I need penis or I will commit suicide I'm often accused of being gay well yes obviously meow my
Speaker A
homosexuality is beyond dispute on the sexual front I'm just a thoughtless bottom can I get you to stand up turn around Okay so okay I had threesome with adult man on the street because I thought it would be
Speaker A
funny but they made me bust a emotional load so to speak so now like Bears I'm gonna do it look at this picture shut up it's like you're all in a cult as some of you may know I've been
Speaker A
suffering from something resembling a normal life but hopefully much of that is behind me and I can return to benzodiazepine use I want to try something fun like suicide why was I born in fact disintegrate disintegrate I'm the sworn enemy of good old
Speaker A
capitalism oh and on that note meat that's food folks it could be worse are you listening empty your wallet you're gonna pay for it gamers are rising up as they should the planet will descend into chaos this will devastate Australia
Speaker A
emergency we have to make everyone poorer now I should have all the money critics of my view will say we if we make the poor poorer life will be more difficult and less rewarding this would be good for those of you who don't know
Speaker A
I'm callous and indifferent to human suffering or feelings oh I just [ __ ] myself.com I have a diaper on obviously but I'm very frustrated I'm out of brain power for the day bye-bye foreign
Topics:YouTube PoopJordan Petersonsupercutabsurd humorsurrealparodydark humorshock valueinternet memedistorted speech
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