Speaker A
Foreigners, in the interests of fairness, I decided it would be best to kick off by asking a group of 20-something Berliners what they think of the British. Are you sitting on your stupid aisle saying, "Well, we alone leave us the rest"?
Jeremy Clarkson explores Germany's culture, history, and quirks, focusing on East Germany's legacy and the iconic Trabant car.
Ask about this video. Answers come from its transcript only — with the timestamp, so you can check them.
Generated from the transcript and can be wrong — check the timestamp.
Key Takeaways
- Germany's history deeply influences its modern identity and infrastructure challenges.
- East Germany still shows visible signs of its communist past and ongoing reconstruction.
- The Trabant remains a cultural icon symbolizing East German nostalgia and automotive history.
- German cultural traits like punctuality and regional differences are highlighted with humor.
- Unification of East and West Germany is complex, with lingering economic and social disparities.
What the video covers
- Jeremy Clarkson interviews young Berliners about their views on the British and cultural differences.
- The video highlights Germany's complex history, including wars, occupation, and reunification challenges.
- Clarkson critiques East Germany's infrastructure and ongoing reconstruction efforts post-Berlin Wall.
- The Trabant car and its cultural significance are explored, including a Trabant gathering event.
- Clarkson humorously comments on German habits like punctuality and the mullet hairstyle.
- The video covers nostalgia for East Germany (Ostalgia) and efforts to preserve communist-era memories.
- Clarkson visits a restored communist hotel and reflects on the experience and historical context.
- The challenges of unifying East and West Germany are discussed, including economic and social issues.
- Clarkson's journey includes humorous observations on German bureaucracy, transport, and lifestyle.
- The episode mixes humor, history, and cultural insight to provide a unique perspective on modern Germany.
Chapters
- 00:00Introduction and Berliners' Views on the British
- 01:49Cultural Quirks: English Taps and Toilet Carpets
- 04:40Germany's History and Cultural Traits
- 06:57Infrastructure Challenges and Road Conditions
- 09:39Trabant Gathering and East German Nostalgia
- 12:28Critique of the Trabant and Transportation
- 15:05Communist Hotel Visit and Historical Reflection
- 19:40East German Legacy and Social Commentary
- 25:10Touring and Final Thoughts on German Life
Full Transcript — Download SRT & Markdown
Speaker A
is just the continent we don't have anything to do with Europe and um but if I look at your health system for instance is pure [ __ ] it's nothing it's nothing that's going on there you know what's really funny about the UK is
Speaker A
It's just the continent. We don't have anything to do with Europe. And, um, but if I look at your health system, for instance, it's pure [ __ ]. It's nothing. It's nothing that's going on there.
Speaker A
this is the biggest mix of water in this Englishman do they standing or sitting standing standing yeah sure and what about the carpet in the toilet I mean it's you know we aim because well there we are I was fair I gave them
Speaker A
You know what's really funny about the UK is that you only have these separate what it has. You can never wash your hair. I'm sorry, I'm not with you on this. The taps in England are wrong. So we have a hot tap and a cold tap.
Speaker A
been bankrupt they've had two military coups they've killed six million Jews they've started two world wars they've been occupied by four foreign powers and they've invaded nearly all of their neighbors Small Wonder then that the Germans have had very little time to learn how to
Speaker A
This is the biggest mix of water in this Englishman. Do they stand or sit? Standing. Standing, yeah, sure. And what about the carpet in the toilet? I mean, it's, you know, we aim because, well, there we are. I was fair. I gave them their turn, and all they could come up with was our taps.
Speaker A
Germany than a dodgy past and that music there's the German fondness for the mullet and the German obsession with making sure that everything runs on time [Music] when the Berlin Wall came down they said they'd have East Germany up to Western
Speaker A
Well, now it's my go. Germany has only existed as a country for just over a hundred years, but in that time, the people here have stood on the brink of starvation. They've been bankrupt. They've had two military coups. They've killed six million Jews. They've started two world wars. They've been occupied by four foreign powers, and they've invaded nearly all of their neighbors.
Speaker A
building site you come out of your hotel in the morning and the road outside is gone the cost of all this building work is absolutely astronomical last summer not surprisingly the shiny new city of Berlin went bankrupt again
Speaker A
Small wonder then that the Germans have had very little time to learn how to play musical instruments. It doesn't matter which radio station you turn to; it's always complete rubbish. If you gave my six-year-old daughter a violin, she would make a more appealing noise than this.
Speaker A
don't want to buy [Applause] still I did get a CD so I didn't have to listen to that um nonsense on the radio anymore they could come to arrest me for wearing a horrible hat certainly the East German traffic police
Speaker A
But of course, there's so much more to Germany than a dodgy past and that music. There's the German fondness for the mullet and the German obsession with making sure that everything runs on time.
Speaker A
today I'm not however going to turn up in the E-Type that would be showing off and anyway I found something much more appropriate [Music] yep it's a stretch trebat which will make me the star of the show [Music]
Speaker A
When the Berlin Wall came down, they said they'd have East Germany up to Western standards in precisely seven years. Unfortunately, the master race has failed. They completely underestimated the scale of the problem. Everything had to be replaced: sewers, power supply, phones, roads, the lot.
Speaker A
far away as 40 miles but only 2 000 made it this one made it here but then the owner turned his stereo up too loud and now that what's happened would you like to come and live in my
Speaker A
Even today, East Germany is still one giant building site. You come out of your hotel in the morning, and the road outside is gone. The cost of all this building work is absolutely astronomical. Last summer, not surprisingly, the shiny new city of Berlin went bankrupt again.
Speaker A
transportation it's worse than a pogo stick as an art form it's up there with a wheelbarrow so why not simply part exchange it for a flower pot and buy a car well I suspect something strange is going on here
Speaker A
And there's some way to go. Most of the back roads are still cuddled. Spend all your time on a motorway in a contra flow. And when you pull into a service station, the shop is still full of stuff you don't want to buy.
Speaker A
ultra bands and look at this stall I found it's selling East German military memorabilia yeah chemical warfare and these oh I know I need some shoes because he's very muddy oh chat boots it's fantastic okay do you mind if we just turn the camera
Speaker A
Still, I did get a CD, so I didn't have to listen to that nonsense on the radio anymore. They could come to arrest me for wearing a horrible hat. Certainly, the East German traffic police don't have to worry about the locals breaking the speed limit because, of course, this is still Trebat Central, which is the town where Trabants were made.
Speaker A
be how do you say love not John Lennon John Lennon I know what you mean learning a little bit balls Russian revolutionary meaning this movement to preserve memories of the east or OST as they say in German has a name it's called austalgia
Speaker A
Because I've heard that there's a bit of a gathering of them going on today. I'm not, however, going to turn up in the E-Type. That would be showing off. And anyway, I found something much more appropriate.
Speaker A
fill in 500 pointless forms and then 500 more [Music] family understand the staff were as East German as a tractor [Music] and even before I'd finished changing 20 marks into a foot high pile of useless Connie cash I was bored but it was good
Speaker A
Yep, it's a stretch Trabant, which will make me the star of the show. Hello, fellow Trabant people. Loads of them. Sadly though, my arrival was a bit of a damp squib. Look at this. I've been completely outstretched.
Speaker A
imagine it down the road at the Holiday Inn which is probably why shortly after my visit here this hotel went bust oh now this should keep me going look at this look at this everyone it's it's a report from the polit bureau to the
Speaker A
It is a Trabant. A staggering 6,000 Trabants set off to come to this event, some coming from as far away as 40 miles, but only 2,000 made it. This one made it here, but then the owner turned his stereo up too loud, and now that's what happened.
Speaker A
greater [Music] East Germany has the lowest birth rate in the world and now I know why there's no one to sleep with and there's no point going into town because there's no one there either [Music] [Applause] look at this a fully restored East
Speaker A
Would you like to come and live in my YouTube? This is like any other car show I've ever been to. The mullets may have been a little thicker on the ground, but there was the same fascination with flames.
Speaker A
which closed it down and turned it into a racetrack for bicycles [Applause] [Music] and it's not just cycle racing either today there are plans to turn this place into a sort of vast underground nostalgic Disney World Sultan Towers
Speaker A
And that's why the Trabant as a means of transportation is worse than a pogo stick. As an art form, it's up there with a wheelbarrow. So why not simply part exchange it for a flower pot and buy a car?
Speaker A
in a dull Hotel reading dull books dull Nostalgia tourists will be invited down here to make Mary in the old network of tubes [Music] holy [ __ ] the driver's just got in a big hole okay bye-bye foreign
Speaker A
Well, I suspect something strange is going on here. Ten years ago, there was a drive to unify Germany to erase all memories of what had happened in the East. But now you sense that some people are trying to preserve some of those old communist icons.
Speaker A
and proper when it comes to taps West Germany so is life better for them over here well not if they like a drink it isn't some of the Vineyards here on the banks of the Rhine are the oldest in the world
Speaker A
We see that here with all the Trabants. And look at this stall I found. It's selling East German military memorabilia. Yeah, chemical warfare and these. Oh, I know, I need some shoes because he's very muddy. Oh, chat boots. It's fantastic.
Speaker A
the 17th century she was accused of being a heretic after she claimed that she was making nocturnal visits to South America every night and converting remote tribesmen to Christianity that's not very interesting what is interesting is that when they
Speaker A
Okay, do you mind if we just turn the camera off? Well, we just adjust the belt. Does he have an Order of Lenin medal? He must have heard of Lenin. Lenin, the Russian. How could you not have heard of Lenin if you lived in East Germany?
Speaker A
we've got some here look it's uh harmless looking little thing isn't it but one day that's going to wind up on a table in Rotherham where it will decimate an entire night [Music] now of course I know that Germans do
Speaker A
How can this be? How do you say love? Not John Lennon. John Lennon. I know what you mean. Lenin, a little bit Bolshevik Russian revolutionary.
Speaker A
you never will find punan in the in the shop or in a restaurant so the people don't know it you cannot buy blue none anywhere in Germany no um maybe a Future's downtown yes and some very cheap supermarketers but blue now and
Speaker A
This movement to preserve memories of the East, or OST as they say in German, has a name. It's called Ostalgia, and it's everywhere.
Speaker A
do you speak English it's white van yes no perhaps like really cold would be good colder than doing something I think the temperature is the least of its problems actually yes it's white wine get in there no no not nice no would you
Speaker A
The hotel I stayed at, for instance, employed an actor passport. He was dressed up as a not terribly convincing God of Art. The building itself, however, was authentic in every way.
Speaker A
more it's fine unbelievable I thought they'd think blue man was funny but I was forgetting of course this is Germany nothing is funny look at it this way if a businessman went to an English park at lunchtime and
Speaker A
It's like in the old days. You have to fill in 500 pointless forms and then 500 more. Family, understand, the staff were as East German as a tractor.
Speaker A
it's nothing ish no yeah it is this dish oh good despite the lack of obvious customers there are now a handful of comedy clubs in Germany Jeremy Clarkson [Applause] I went to one of them in an amusing jacket to carpet bomb the audience with
Speaker A
And even before I'd finished changing 20 marks into a foot-high pile of useless Konni cash, I was bored. But it was good practice for a night in my bedroom.
Speaker A
your enormous good night well nothing makes this lot love I have noticed it going around Europe you tend to find if you go into a French bar restaurant people are eating if you go into an Italian Bar people are
Speaker A
There was nothing to do but think. And what I thought was this: why? Why would you want to restore a communist hotel? Visiting businessmen can imagine what life was like here, and they do imagine it.
Speaker A
smile in the entire bar a recent report said that the British laughed for 15 minutes a day whereas the Germans manage only six naturally for the Germans this deficiency is no laughing matter so now 6 p.m on Wednesday evenings
Speaker A
Down the road at the Holiday Inn, which is probably why shortly after my visit here, this hotel went bust.
Speaker A
so we fired laughter machine guns we threw laughter tomatoes [Applause] followed by some more HoHo [Applause] then we grew after trees foreign laughter monsters and inevitably [Applause] this shirt I'm gonna please for these trousers this is a truly extraordinary Place some
Speaker A
Oh, now this should keep me going. Look at this. Look at this, everyone. It's a report from the Politburo to the Central Committee of the SED, which is the Communist party, and it's got a foreword by Eric Honecker.
Speaker A
where [Applause] right we've established so far that Germans we on the floor and that they export blue none to us because they think it's nice but now I've come to Cologne a city notable mostly for its dirty Cathedral to raise perhaps the
Speaker A
Eventually, when I'd done everything you can do in an East German hotel room, I went to the bar. Brown coal. The worth of brown coal is getting greater.
Speaker A
early you have to to put all um you have to take away the towels from the British of the British holiday spend this and put the own the bigger towels there then you have two hotels as well I presume of
Speaker A
East Germany has the lowest birth rate in the world, and now I know why. There's no one to sleep with, and there's no point going into town because there's no one there either.
Speaker A
clubs not for German it's very necessary to be a member at in at least let's say four or ten clubs or so because free time is something very dangerous you don't know what you what you have to do and nobody
Speaker A
Look at this, a fully restored East German town at 8:30 on a Saturday night. It is totally deserted.
Speaker A
it and um if he's told um run over Poland and build concentrations camps and he will do it as well so if I say drink that wine life in Germany is regimented and controlled to a point you simply
Speaker A
So where is everyone?
Speaker A
the cat but not in your garden boring then if I'm driving along in a sausage dog trots into the road should I stop no no a German Court recent recently decided a small to Warrant an emergency stop and that drivers must keep
Speaker A
Well, this is an old East German salt mine, a place that used to employ 3,000 people, but then along came capitalism, which closed it down and turned it into a racetrack for bicycles.
Speaker A
but from the government they cost 700 pounds and before you get one you have to sit a written exam of course a lot of Germans get round the problem of the license by simply reverting to type they clear off every
Speaker A
And it's not just cycle racing either. Today, there are plans to turn this place into a sort of vast underground nostalgic Disney World, Sultan Towers.
Speaker A
Europe I mean we've had really a hundred years I mean if Germany wouldn't have been founded in 1870 you would have nothing to talk about in Europe and we won a war against what a war oh yes there was one it was in 1870 against our
Speaker A
I joined a guided tour to find out more.
Speaker A
people which you can rule and command and so we are very eager on having something like the other United States of Germany why am I laughing why am I laughing at the prospect you're going to do it again aren't you
Speaker A
Twenty kilometers from one end of the mine to the other. That's huge. So huge that they run equipment to make underground boating lakes, concert halls, restaurants.
Speaker A
have here that's good well there is this place [Music] it's the biggest longest most fearsome race track in the world the Nurburgring located high in the Eiffel mountains it just goes on and on for 13 miles round 187 Corners it's so vast that entire
Speaker A
So after a dull night in a dull hotel reading dull books, dull nostalgia tourists will be invited down here to make merry in the old network of tubes.
Speaker A
and in the ensuing Fireball he lost most of his ears Top Flight Motorsport was banned here but the track was never closed instead it was opened up to the public and so now every weekend people come with their cars their bikes and their
Speaker A
Holy [ __ ], the driver's just got in a big hole. Okay, bye-bye.
Speaker A
circuit please forwards I'd like you to meet Celine Smith who is without that the fastest taxi driver in the entire world I hope so how old were you when you got the lap record around here 90 19 years
Speaker A
Very nice. But what about the thousands and thousands of people who used to work here?
Speaker A
an eight minutes how old were you when you first went round here around about six months my father took me around here I was screaming on the back seat why let's see so how old were you when you thought
Speaker A
Well, they did what I'm doing now. They moved from East Germany to the richest, most powerful place in all of Europe, the epicenter of all that's good and right and proper when it comes to taps: West Germany.
Speaker A
faster than anyone around here really yes but after a few Corners they are gone in the pillow I don't know proceed [Music] just kidding around the road that's a good girl yeah there's no point trying to take Sabine
Speaker A
So is life better for them over here? Well, not if they like a drink. It isn't.
Speaker A
danger of course because German cars are perfect they're not allowed to go wrong unfortunately however my car was not German and lower its tires foreign [Applause] Auto Barn first of all I was acutely aware of having no seat belt and no
Speaker A
Some of the vineyards here on the banks of the Rhine are the oldest in the world, with roots going back to 700 A.D. And yet, amazingly, even though they've had 1,300 years of practice, they still can't get it right.
Speaker A
and I was back on the perfect German roads on my way to see another perfect piece of perfect German engineering [Music] in the first 32 years of the last century the Germans won 31 Nobel prizes before their engineering
Speaker A
The original Blue Nun, so named because she wore a blue habit, lived in Spain in the 17th century. She was accused of being a heretic after she claimed that sh...
Speaker A
118 miles an hour [Music] I'd never been gliding before so I asked the owner if he could take me for a spin and he said yes unfortunately with a parachute on I didn't really fit without a parachute all was well but
Speaker A
then a German law sprang out of nowhere but you have to have a parachute you have to have a parachute yes this is German German yeah so it doesn't look like I can go [Music] still my day wasn't completely wasted it
Speaker A
turned out I was the only person there who was tall enough to wipe away the raindrops from the top of the rear wings I was sad though because this really was a truly beautiful machine [Music] it just can't believe how light it is I
Speaker A
mean one finger foreign [Music] the Germans have completely dominated the sport of gliding for 80 years so why is that [Music] after the first world war you'll never be lost in the first Lord God and we were forbidden to fly
Speaker A
any airplanes but then people flew gliders so you weren't allowed to have an airplane in Germany after the first no no no of course not and because we were the bloody dangerous you know as you all know and and then then this was a good thing
Speaker A
because we just have to go back to gliding to Flying like the birds fly Hans is the best glider pilot in the world he has 48 World Records but then he did learn to fly in the most difficult Arena of them all
Speaker A
in the lottery time gliding was very popular what we did not know at that time was that it was a preparation for having people go as Pilots to the luftwaffe I volunteered for the Air Force and I became the career officer as
Speaker A
you call it and I enjoyed it quite a bit until your buses started shooting at us yeah [Music] 78 78 yes but I must admit sometimes I feel like 76.
Speaker A
[Music] the oldest glider pilot in the world flying the biggest glider in the world and that's the thing about the Germans isn't it they have to be the biggest they have to be the best perhaps that's why we're all so
Speaker A
frightened of them there is a nervousness among other European countries but the Germans want to dominate Europe yeah you don't think so I have to say they are always afraid and feel inferior so that's their point it's their problem it's not our problem but
Speaker A
that we feel nervous yes or are we inferior obviously if you feel like that well yes our Taps may be wonky but at least we are allowed to feed our cats in the garden our sausage dogs are safer we
Speaker A
have more freedom better haircuts prettier cars more of a laugh a more distinguished history and yes even nicer wine and we're better at music better at football 5-1 and thank God better at fighting if you watch a war film now
Speaker A
whose side are you on who are you cheering off I would say I was rather on this side of the Allies than of the Germans without yes you have being born at least 25 years after the end of the
Speaker A
war you have built up such a distance to the Nazis that you don't really I you cannot identify though it was your uncle your grandfather your all your relations do you think that as your generation comes along and the next one that you
Speaker A
will be able to start laughing about the war and we are responsible now that the Witnesses are dying that this is not forgotten where you see the English people or British people they are very much pride in themselves and that the
Speaker A
French people as well but the Germans they don't have something like that they are very aware of their history and theirs and they feel very unsecure with it [Music] and that seems to be the German's biggest problem we have to laugh at them because they're
Speaker A
so riddled with guilt about their history they can't laugh at themselves still it could be worse and indeed it will be next week when you join me in the sponge of Europe [Music] [Music]
Topics:Jeremy ClarksonGermanyEast GermanyTrabantBerlin WallOstalgiaGerman cultureFifth GearGerman historyautomotive
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