Speaker A
Captain, let me tell you a little story. You remember when I fell through your ceiling?
A detailed breakdown of every Halloween Heist reveal from Brooklyn Nine-Nine, showcasing clever plans, betrayals, and teamwork.
Ask about this video. Answers come from its transcript only — with the timestamp, so you can check them.
Generated from the transcript and can be wrong — check the timestamp.
Key Takeaways
- The Halloween Heist is a complex, multi-layered event involving the entire precinct.
- Teamwork and deception are central to the success of the heist.
- Every member plays a unique role, from lock-picking to creating distractions.
- Planning and anticipation across multiple years add depth to the rivalry.
- Humor and camaraderie are key themes throughout the heist narrative.
What the video covers
- Jake Peralta narrates the intricate details of the Halloween Heist, including disguises, diversions, and teamwork.
- Rosa's lock-picking skills and a fake janitor persona were key elements in the heist.
- The team used red herrings like gray pigeons to mislead Captain Holt.
- Charles deduced Holt’s safe passcode by analyzing fingerprint smudges.
- Multiple layers of deception involved stolen phones, fake watches, and planted bugs.
- The heist included coordinated distractions such as a fire hydrant blocking a car and a party bus ambush.
- Team members were bribed or motivated by camaraderie and the chance to embarrass Holt.
- The heist culminated in a surprise reveal that Holt had been planning a counter-heist for a year.
- Amy and Jake’s partnership was highlighted with playful banter and teamwork.
- The video ends with a tease for next year’s Halloween Heist, emphasizing ongoing rivalry and fun.
Chapters
- 00:00Introduction and Initial Plan
- 00:48Rosa’s Lock-Picking and Diversions
- 01:33Accessing Holt’s Office and Cabinet
- 02:13Flirting Distraction and Amy’s Role
- 03:04Safe Cracking and Final Countdown
- 04:50Teamwork and Bribery Revealed
- 06:34Holt’s Counter-Heist Plan
- 08:57Multi-layered Deceptions and Distractions
- 10:38Party Bus and Badge Theft
- 12:21Heist Conclusion and Future Plans
Full Transcript — Download SRT & Markdown
Speaker A
Yes, that was six hours ago.
Speaker A
It was, I admit, a disastrous failure. But it gave me the idea for Herman, the friendly janitor you met.
Speaker A
With Herman, I commenced the perfect crime.
Speaker A
I caught you as Herman.
Speaker A
But you didn't catch Rosa.
Speaker A
Come out of there.
Speaker A
[Sighs] As it turns out, our friend Rosa is great at picking locks.
Speaker A
Does not surprise me.
Speaker A
No, me neither. Of course, I had to find a way to get her out of your office without you seeing her.
Speaker A
So, I created a diversion. Not mistimed. Perfectly timed so she could escape unseen.
Speaker A
What about the pigeons?
Speaker A
Oh, the gray pigeons?
Speaker A
They were a red herring. Thank you. Their only purpose was to draw you into the copy room while two members of my team broke into your locked office.
Speaker A
So, now, I had a way into your office and an open cabinet. All that was left was for the royal babies to steal your keys.
Speaker A
Yes, but you didn't need the keys. The cabinet was already unlocked. You needed a way into the safe.
Speaker A
And I got it. You were so concerned with getting your keys back, you didn't even notice the sergeant steal your phone.
Speaker A
That's right, even the sergeant's on my side. I then had Charles dust your screen cover for prints.
Speaker A
The greasiest smudges revealed the four numbers you use the most -- the four numbers in your passcode.
Speaker A
Based on your advanced age, I assumed that you use the same passcode for everything -- your phone, your e-mail, and, of course, your safe.
Speaker A
That would be a fair assumption.
Speaker A
It was at that point that I bumped into a girl dressed as a sexy robot, and we got our flirt on... hard.
Speaker A
'Sup?
Speaker A
'Sup?
Speaker A
Jake Peralta.
Speaker A
And how was flirting part of the plan?
Speaker A
Oh, it wasn't. It just ruled.
Speaker A
And that brings us to five minutes ago, when Amy came to your office and told you that I had been arrested.
Speaker A
I knew she's the only one you would believe because, frankly, she's usually too lame to take part in these kinds of things.
Speaker A
And as you walked over here, Charles awkwardly stuffed himself through your window and opened your safe.
Speaker A
We had the four numbers of your code, which meant there were 24 possible combinations for Charles to try.
Speaker A
That could take up to four minutes, which is why I really dragged out this explanation.
Speaker A
I mean, really stretched it. I don't know if you noticed, but there were times where I was like, "What am I even talking about? This isn't --"
Speaker A
Oh. [Watch beeping] But now, four minutes is up. Which means Boyle is either on the other side of that door holding your medal, or I've lost.
Speaker A
Well, Captain, it seems that Jake isn't the only person you underestima--
Speaker A
20 seconds to spare.
Speaker A
Game over, Captain. Check me.
Speaker A
I think you mean "checkmate." You really need to learn how to play chess.
Speaker A
How did you get everyone to help you?
Speaker A
I appealed to their sense of teamwork and camaraderie with a rousing speech that would put Shakespeare to shame.
Speaker A
[Scottish accent] For too long, we've been put down, ridiculed, made to wear ties!
Speaker A
But no more! For today, we defeat him!
Speaker A
And that worked?
Speaker A
[Normal voice] No.
Speaker A
No, no. Not at all. My speech did not inspire them. Come on. So, I bribed them.
Speaker A
I told them that if we pulled this off, I would do all of their paperwork.
Speaker A
And since you're doing all my paperwork...
Speaker A
I'm impressed, Peralta. Well done.
Speaker A
Thank you, sir.
Speaker A
In fact, the thing that you failed to see, Captain, teamwork, is exactly...
Speaker A
Captain?
Speaker A
...what provided our success.
Speaker A
Sir? He's not coming back.
Speaker A
Talk now!
Speaker A
You seem upset. Well, here's how the story goes.
Speaker A
Remember that little Halloween bet that we made? You probably don't even remember, it was so early this morning.
Speaker A
Anywhoozle, it turns out the criminal I hired to lift your watch was not trustworthy, and I ended up contracting tuberculosis of the foot and subsequently losing your death watch.
Speaker A
But in the end, I like to think this whole thing is gonna bring us closer together.
Speaker A
And isn't that what it's really all about? Merry Christmas!
Speaker A
What are you saying? My watch is right here.
Speaker A
No, I made a switch. That's a fake.
Speaker A
No, this one's a fake.
Speaker A
What? No.
Speaker A
What? No.
Speaker A
What? No. You were behind all this? You played me.
Speaker A
Like Frans Bruggen plays the flute.
Speaker A
But how? I've been planning this theft for three months.
Speaker A
I know, but I've been planning it for a year.
Speaker A
Last Halloween, after you won the bet, I went back to my office to do everyone's paperwork, but I did no paperwork.
Speaker A
I started to plot my revenge. I began by creating a word cloud.
Speaker A
But how could you possibly have known I was gonna try and steal your watch?
Speaker A
I knew you would try to take something important to me. During the year, I drew your attention to my watch.
Speaker A
You're eight minutes late. You're 14 minutes late. You're three minutes early... in Chicago.
Speaker A
You annoyed me into stealing it.
Speaker A
Exactly. Now you had a target, but you needed a plan. Fortunately, it walked through the door, handcuffed to Diaz.
Speaker A
This scumbag pickpocket is Dan McCreary. He can take anything off of anyone.
Speaker A
Anything? Anyone?
Speaker A
The look on your face -- priceless. I put McCreary into my employ immediately. Fast-forward to this morning.
Speaker A
You commenced your plan. McCreary stole my watch, and then replaced it with the replica.
Speaker A
And while you celebrated, McCreary put my watch back in my pocket. The watch never left my person.
Speaker A
Dun-dun-duh!
Speaker A
I can see that you're enjoying this.
Speaker A
Not nearly as much as I enjoyed phase two.
Speaker A
Phase two.
Speaker A
While you met with McCreary, Santiago placed a fire hydrant in front of your car, which she then towed away.
Speaker A
Next, I had to take Charles out of the equation. He had a badge and a gun, and he would do anything to help you.
Speaker A
Enter a parade of drunks that separated the two of you long enough for Terry to kidnap Charles.
Speaker A
Then two bears spilled their drinks on you and stole your wallet. Those bears? Scully and Hitchcock.
Speaker A
I can't pull my head off!
Speaker A
If Terry kidnapped Charles, how did Charles tell me to get on the party bus?
Speaker A
Eight months ago at a morning briefing, I told the squad that a group of thieves was targeting party buses, so I could record Charles saying...
Speaker A
Jake, party bus! Toot toot! Get on board!
Speaker A
I knew Boyle would never knowingly betray me.
Speaker A
With your jacket and shoes gone, you didn't look like a cop, but you still had your badge.
Speaker A
That is, until you entered the party bus.
Speaker A
Rosa's feline dancing distracted you as a mysterious partier stole your badge on... Halloween!
Speaker A
It was you in the mask! You sly son of a bitch! Well done.
Speaker A
But I do have to ask -- those guys at the impound, did they really smash my car?
Speaker A
No, in fact, I had them wash it.
Speaker A
[Chuckles] Good one, Captain. You can't "wash a car." So how'd you convince the whole squad to betray me?
Speaker A
What'd you offer them?
Speaker A
I asked them if they wanted to embarrass you, and they instantly said yes.
Speaker A
I'm not gonna lie, that turns me on a little bit.
Speaker A
Hmm. So, in addition to the five weeks of free overtime, I believe I'm owed one more thing.
Speaker A
Yes. Here we go.
Speaker A
One second. [Cheering]
Speaker A
Very well. Captain Raymond Holt...
Speaker A
Mm-hmm.
Speaker A
...you are an amazing police captain/genius. [Cheering] But be warned, I started planning next year's heist just this minute.
Speaker A
Good, then you're only three months behind.
Speaker A
You sick son of a bitch.
Speaker A
I don't understand what is happening.
Speaker A
Allow me to explain. Amy and I were ahead of you the whole time.
Speaker A
What? No, you weren't part of this.
Speaker A
Get back over to the loser side, loser.
Speaker A
All right. Worth a shot.
Speaker A
So how'd you pull it off?
Speaker A
Well, it all started when I went to tell Jake how badly he hurt my feelings, and he yelled at my breasts.
Speaker A
Oh, boy, I am not going to come off well in this story.
Speaker A
Nope. Remember when you set off the witch?
Speaker A
[Witch cackling] You made Captain Holt flinch, which was weird, since his door was closed, but not weird, since he actually heard it over a bug he planted at your desk.
Speaker A
It was in an old muffin that you never threw in the trash.
Speaker A
That's why people throw away garbage.
Speaker A
How are we together?
Speaker A
Eh.
Speaker A
Anyway, I tapped into the bug's frequen
Speaker A
My only question is -- which box is the belt in? -[ Chuckles ] Well, good luck figuring it out, because the clock is tick-tick-tocking.
Speaker A
-It's that one. -No! The dust pattern on top doesn't match its neighbors. You see, Jake, I'm always gonna be one step ahead of you.
Speaker A
You've lost the ability to surprise me. Ya just plain boring. -Again, weird take on a very loving relationship.
Speaker A
-And it's midnight, so I guess I'm an amazing human/genius. -Yeah. Although... you might wanna read the inscription on that there belt.
Speaker A
-Why? Oh, no, what does it say? "Amy Santiago, will you marry me?" -Surprise. -I'm so confused...
Speaker A
I don't know what's happening right now. -"I'm so confused. I don't know what's happening right now." Title of your sex tape. -"Oh, my God, I'm shaking.
Speaker A
I'm definitely gonna cry." Title of your sex tape. Wait, is this really happening? Is this part of the heist?
Speaker A
If this is part of the heist, I will dump you so hard. -No, please, Ames, look, it's really happening, okay?
Speaker A
It's not part of the heist. I promise, this is real. -It is? -Yeah. Okay, here it goes.
Speaker A
Ames, I love you. I love how smart you are. I love how beautiful you are.
Speaker A
I love your face, and I love your butt. I should've written this down first.
Speaker A
-No, no, it's okay. Go on. -I love how much you pretend to like "Die Hard." -I like the second one. -You don't have to.
Speaker A
-Okay. -Yeah. You're kind, and you're funny, and you're the best person I know, and the best detective.
Speaker A
Also, for reals, I love your butt. -I love yours too. -Gross. -[ Chuckles ] -Amy Santiago...
Speaker A
will you marry me? Jake Peralta, I will marry you. [ Both chuckle ] -[ Sighs ] -[ Giggles ] -I love you so much. [ Door opens ] -Hey, jerkos, this little tramp escaped, so that ought to teach...
Speaker A
D-Did you just... -Mm-hmm. -And did you say... -Mm-hmm. -[ Gasping ] [ Thuds ] -To Jake and Amy. -To Jake and Amy!
Speaker A
-Great stuff, great stuff. So, since Peralta altered the cummerbund, no one really won the heist this year.
Speaker A
Is that what everyone's thinking? -Captain... -Right right sorry. Not the time. I'm so happy for you both.
Speaker A
Technically, there was no winner. -Wait. Where is everyone? Where are all the desks? What is happening?
Speaker A
-What's happening is... you all suck! -♪ You all are losers, you all are losers ♪ ♪ And Terry Jeffords is the best ♪ ♪ You are all losers, you are all losers ♪ ♪ And Terry Jeffords is the best ♪
Speaker A
-Son of a bitch stole my song. -Wait, Terry has the bracelet? -That's right. Me and my teammate Terry won.
Speaker A
We fooled you all. -You didn't do [bleep]! -Okay, well, neither did Jordan's teammates, but they still got rings.
Speaker A
All right, fine. Just tell us how you did it. -Well, first, for my plan to work, it had to happen on a day when I could control everything.
Speaker A
I couldn't let it be Halloween. -You faked the gas explosion! -Yeah, stupid actors almost blew it.
Speaker A
What was with that moaning, Trent? I thought you studied at the Lee Strasberg Institute!
Speaker A
-It doesn't mean anything. They just take your money! -Oh, that is a huge relief.
Speaker A
I felt so bad about poking that guy's wound to make sure it was real.
Speaker A
-You should still feel bad about that. -No, it was all fake. I'm totally absolved.
Speaker A
Continue with your story, Sarge. -I knew you'd suggest a heist as a distraction from my Lieutenant exam, then all I had to do was sit back and watch as everyone took things way too far.
Speaker A
-But how'd you know we'd get so out of hand? -I spent the last six months sowing the seeds of conflict.
Speaker A
-Man, I am so sick of Jake saying he is the only two-time Halloween heist winner.
Speaker A
-I'm the only two-time Halloween heist winner. -I can't believe everyone says you're not helpful during the Halloween heist.
Speaker A
Just because they all think your fingers are too big. -We'll show them. -Thanks for inviting me over for dinner.
Speaker A
Boy, that's hung in a real prominent place, isn't it? -Not for long. I was manipulated?
Speaker A
-Sorry, Kevin. -Don't apologize to him, Terry. It's his first heist. He needs to learn. Keep going.
Speaker A
-Well, after I got everyone acting like maniacs, all I had to do was make you feel bad by "knocking myself out." -The banner.
Speaker A
But how did you learn my voice command? -I didn't have to. I sold you the damn thing!
Speaker A
-No. I want it to unfurl when I say, "You all suck." -[ Through voice distortion app ] Absolutely.
Speaker A
Pleasure doing business with you. -The pleasure was all mine. [ Sighs ] That's gonna work.
Speaker A
I spent $1,800 on that thing! -You did? -Amy, stop interrupting. Terry's doing his big speech.
Speaker A
-Anyway, once my fake concussion was on display, I created the perfect distraction for my partner to do his job.
Speaker A
-Cheddar, you duplicitous bitch. -I've been training Cheddar for months. -Wow, what a fun improvised song!
Speaker A
-When I swapped the Hootsworths, I put a magnetic collar on him! From there, Cheddar followed us all the way to One Police Plaza, where he hand-delivered the bracelet to me right outside this room.
Speaker A
-But, wait, what about the Lieutenant's exam? Aren't you supposed to be taking it right now?
Speaker A
-Hell no, I took that thing weeks ago. And I passed! I'm already a lieutenant!
Speaker A
-You are? -That's incredible! -Lieutenant Jeffords! -This is amazing. -I'm so proud of you, Terry.
Speaker A
-All right. You've overstepped now, Bill. -Yeah, it's weird you're here, Bill. -[ Cackles ] -This is still going on? -Was it Terry?
Speaker A
-Nope. Wasn't me. -Wait, if you're Terry, then that must be... -What's up, losers? [ Applause ] -Yes. -Whoo!
Speaker A
-Wow. -Whoo. -Rosa, that was amazing. -It was not amazing. She didn't stay handcuffed to her partner.
Speaker A
She's disqualified. We'll reset and start over on the next holiday. Earth day. An Earth day heist.
Speaker A
-It's perfect. -Wrong. Rules said I couldn't undo the cuffs, and I didn't. -Oh, not fair.
Speaker A
I didn't know I could cut off Peralta's hand. I'll file that away for next year.
Speaker A
-Actually, I think we're one and done on the whole handcuff concept. -This is incredible. How'd you do it, Rosa?
Speaker A
-Well, back on Halloween, I knew Jake would make the first move, and I had to be ready.
Speaker A
-You were hiding in the fog. It wasn't Holt that put that chair in my pathway.
Speaker A
-No, I did. I wanted to be the one who was responsible for our victory.
Speaker A
-What? -We already lost. There's no point in trying to maintain team morale now. -Dick.
Speaker A
-Anyway, I knew Cheddar would be making an appearance. -Oh, everyone loves to see Cheddar.
Speaker A
-He's here a lot. I never bring in Arlo. -Who? -Exactly. I spent every morning for the last year giving Cheddar a taste for ham.
Speaker A
-Oh, so that's why he got so thick and ended up on "Chonky Pups." -I submitted his photo.
Speaker A
And once you put Cheddar on a diet, all I had to do was mark the gems with a little of that sweet ham taste.
Speaker A
-Why did you want Cheddar to swallow the gems? -Because I needed to delay things.
Speaker A
The second part of my plan took place on Valentine's Day, which went perfectly. -Ah, I wouldn't say perfectly.
Speaker A
Scully swallowed the gems. -'Cause I tricked him into it. Wasn't hard. Pretty much used the same Cheddar ham playbook.
Speaker A
-Table ham. Seven days in a row. So now I have to think twice before I eat food I find lying around. Thanks a lot.
Speaker A
-I marked the gems with ham again, and everything pushed to Easter when I could finally get rid of Scully as my partner.
Speaker A
-Doctor, I'm willing to pay you to tell Norm Scully not to participate. -Participate? No no no.
Speaker A
Norm Scully should not be participating in any activities. He could die. I'll go call him right now.
Speaker A
-Now I finally had a teammate whose hand I could cut off. Just needed a little help from Terry.
Speaker A
-Boy, that thing's pretty heavy, huh? Did you bring the tools? -But you were retired.
Speaker A
You were loving your smoothies. -Yeah, but after a while, I felt left out. And if I'm being honest, the smoothies weren't even that good.
Speaker A
-I wonder why that was. Maybe it's because I hammed your smoothie. -Am I the only one who didn't get fed ham this year?
Speaker A
-Wait, how did you know about Jake's bunny plan? -You weren't the only one listening in on his therapy.
Speaker A
-Of course the bunnies should have glasses. I just can't believe I didn't come up with it myself.
Speaker A
Oh, you know what? Betty Rubble also gives me a bo-- You guys were listening in on my therapy?
Speaker A
That feels like a real violation. -Jake, Jake, this is Rosa's moment. -Yeah, man, go tell it to your fake therapist.
Speaker A
-She's fake?! -Anyway, then I grabbed the gems, jumped off the roof, and wrote my name in flames.
Speaker A
-Wait, why did you keep delaying the heist? Couldn't you have just won at Halloween?
Speaker A
-Oh, I did. These are the real Halloween gems. I switched them out before Cheddar found them.
Speaker A
I also won on Valentine's Day. What is happening? I switched those gems out before I gave them to Scully.
Speaker A
And then I won today. So, while you nerds are always arguing about who the only two-time champion is...
Speaker A
-Me. -...I just became the first three-time champion. I guess there's just one thing left to do.
Speaker A
-To Rosa Diaz, an amazing human/genius. -To Rosa Diaz. [ Tires screech, horn honks ] -Are we too late? Did you get the tube?
Speaker A
-No, it's somewhere in this building. Brooklyn Storage Solutions. -Wait a second. -I know this place.
Speaker A
-Yes, this is where we worked our first case with Captain Holt. -That's right, it's a meaningful location.
Speaker A
Tonight is my victory lap. I planned the perfect goodbye. -You have gotta be kidding me.
Speaker A
-You see, the whole heist was a ruse for the perfect goodbye I planned. -I mean, it wasn't that perfect.
Speaker A
A real perfect goodbye would've had -- -Sentimental gifts for everyone? -Damn it! Just tell us how you did it.
Speaker A
-Everything hinged on Jeffords. I needed him to drop out of the heist so he'd have access to everyone's secrets, which is why I set up a fake interview for him.
Speaker A
-You were working with Williams? But he locked us in his office. -Which was critical to me gaining your trust so you'd tell me where the tube was hidden.
Speaker A
-Terry's reeling. -Armed with that information, I texted Kevin, who retrieved the tube and handed it off to a person who lured you all here, and that person was a dog, and that dog was Cheddar.
Speaker A
-Hold up. That big speech about how I'd make a great captain, that was all a lie?
Speaker A
-No, no, I meant every word of it. In fact, it's exactly what I said to the real Williams two weeks ago.
Speaker A
It's part of the reason he decided to make you... the new captain of the Nine-Nine.
Speaker A
-Wait, what? Is this fake too? Y'all need to cut the [bleep] and be honest with me.
Speaker A
This is my life we're talking about. -You want to know if it's real? Open your gift and find out.
Speaker A
-A bag of fish? -What? No. It's supposed to be your captain's bars. -The fish are my present to Scully.
Speaker A
They're the kind that eat the dead skin off your feet. -Ooh, they're gonna have a feast tonight.
Speaker A
-But wait, if that's not Terry's bars, what's in the real tube? Wireless headphones? -They're AirPods. They're my gift for everyone.
Speaker A
-What? But you told me not to get people AirPods! You said everyone already has headphones!
Speaker A
-Yeah, so you wouldn't buy them and I would get all the glory. -Wow. -Great gift, Amy.
Speaker A
-Come on! -But if I don't have the winning tube, who does? -I do. -Yet another surprise reveal again.
Speaker A
-So, my plan was simple. The best way to win is to sit back, watch everyone else, and then choose your moment.
Speaker A
But to do that, I needed people to think I was gone. -It's a trick she learned from me.
Speaker A
[ Lisping ] During the fourth heist, universally considered the best heist. -You were so eager to think I'd drop everything and chase after Adrian.
Speaker A
-So you don't want to end up with Pimento? -No, but you believed it because you all think for someone to be happy, their story has to end with marriage and kids.
Speaker A
-I mean, I believed it because you told me and I trust you. -Whatever, breeder. Anyway, with nobody watching me, I was able to figure out what Holt was up to, and then I had my other partner intercept Cheddar.
Speaker A
-Who was that? -It's me, Bill. -[ Gasps ] Thurprithe reveal. -So, let's crown me.
Speaker A
The Grand Champion of the Nine-Nine. A six-month subscription to the Rosetta Stone? -That's my present for Peralta.
Speaker A
-Your present to me is school? I'm glad you're leaving. -All right, who has the real tube?
Speaker A
-I do. -What are you doing, Bill? -I'm sorry, but this is your fault for ending the heists.
Speaker A
They're my only source of income. You're still my best friends. Goodbye! -Bill! -He's gone. We're trapped!
Speaker A
-Ah! -Oh yeah! -Oh, yes! Now go through that wall! -I'm not doing any more walls, Jake. We're free.
Speaker A
-Fair enough. I had to ask. All right, I got Bill on the GPS. Huh, that's weird.
Speaker A
-What? Where'd he go? -Are you sure he came back to the precinct? The tracker must be broken. There's no one here.
Speaker A
-Wrong, Captain! I'm here. Michael Hitchcock, the Grand Champion of the Nine-Nine. -Hitchcock? -Well, this doesn't feel right.
Speaker A
-I bet you're all wondering how I pulled it off. -Not really, but I guess that's the tradition.
Speaker A
-The key to the whole plan was that I never really retired or moved to Brazil.
Speaker A
I've been living in the Beaver Trap this whole time. -Okay, but what was the rest of the plan?
Speaker A
-Oh, we had not come up with it. -But then Bill came by and offered to sell me the tube for 40 bucks and I won.
Speaker A
-Pretty good stuff. -Now, crown me. -Ugh, this stinks. Okay, Michael Hitchcock, you are an amazing human/genius and the Grand Champion of the Nine-Nine.
Speaker A
Why is your head so sweaty? -Oh, because that's actually butt skin from a botched hair transplant, so there are more pores.
Speaker A
-I can't believe this is how it ends, with Hitchcock's sweaty butt head. -I told myself I wouldn't cry.
Speaker A
-Ah, Jake, I'm sorry you didn't get your perfect goodbye. -Yeah. This whole thing did kinda turn into a scalding hot mess.
Speaker A
But to be honest, I think I just wanted a big dramatic moment so that I wouldn't feel sad.
Speaker A
Because goodbyes are inherently sad. They mean that something's ending. And this one is especially sad because what we had was so great.
Speaker A
But it's not all sad, right? We're moving on to things that we love. And we'll always have the memories of our times together, even though Hitchcock won the heist, which makes me so mad I wanna swallow my own tongue and die.
Speaker A
-It's a disgrace. -Anyways, I say we hang out, have a drink, and enjoy all of us being together one last time.
Speaker A
To the squad. -To the squad. -You just drank cement! -Why?
Topics:Brooklyn Nine-NineHalloween HeistCaptain HoltJake PeraltaPolice ComedyTeamworkDeceptionNBCTV ShowHeist Reveal
