Green Flag Men Exist!!! ♡ | Episode 249 — Transcript

[singing] The code.

>> You're listening to the Shake [music] Code podcast with Ruda, Alyssa, and Sophia Arisa.

All things chic, candid, and comedy. Hey girlies, welcome back to another episode of the Chic Coat podcast. And this episode is proudly brought to you by BIP Design.

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Yes, correct. >> For powering our episodes and supporting us. Of course, >> because with TC listeners, 10% off.

So choose your ID wisely. >> Yeah. Because they always say it's a very handheld process. [laughter] Throughout the entire journey.

>> Yeah. Very handheld. They won't let go of your hand. >> One. Okay. >> Yeah. Okay. So green flag. [snorts] Okay.

I was like, "Wow, I think founder green flag." Okay. >> Yeah. Okay. Hi, girlies. H. Oh my god.

Oh my god. Oh my god. [laughter] [gasps] Education only. Anyways, and to all women out there.

So, I hope you guys enjoy. It started on 23rd August 2025, by the way, honestly speaking.

So I downloaded honestly speaking single around 6 months. I broke up with my ex in March. Us with my ex.

My ex and we both just aren't for each other. The relationship felt so frustrating and toxic and we know that.

I know. But anyways, and I matched with this one guy. Let's call him. >> A okay. I like pictures.

He wrote, "If you guys, okay, if you guys or women don't know what you actually want in this app, then Oh okay.

So, and his look isn't that bad. Match. He texted me. Swifty girl Swifty. [laughter] >> You're on the phone with your girlfriend. She's obsessed. [laughter] >> Love story. Uh-huh. Okay.

>> You be the princess and I'll be the princess. It's a love story. Baby, just say yes. [laughter] Okay. So then I put excited text I am I am a chatting platform [laughter] I attach the text newborn to avoid awkwardness

and the baby. And I told him to get to know each other better takes around 3 to four hours. Wow. Did he travel all the way [laughter] distance?

>> Yes. 4 hours. [laughter] 5 hours. 5 hours. Wow. And I suggest we can meet after Margaret.

Yeah. First date. The best impression. And yes, he arrived on time. Wow. Oh my god.

Butterflies. [laughter] Butterflies. They're one kind. We both cute. [laughter] [snorts] They prefer wife housewife. Mhm. Okay.

It's okay. Just be [laughter] be direct. Direct. Yeah, it's okay. Yeah. >> Then his preference is housewife.

So he'll be sailing for 6 months. [laughter] Six months away. Some girls can >> that depends on love language. Love language is physical touch and quality time.

>> Same >> and gift giving and whatever. Love language is um acts of service quality times [laughter] of service.

Yes. >> [laughter] >> Yes, I would like a tip top. >> Yes, >> I would like um American breakfast [laughter] with fruits on the side and sausage.

>> Sausage [laughter] on the side. >> Sausage. [laughter] Come on. Sausage. Oh, yes. Sausage.

>> It's funny how they call it Mac sausage when it's like a patty. >> Something [laughter] sounds so funny. Macy. Macy. Okay. I continue here. All right. So he prefers someone of the house and the kids which I

career very good first date already very clear. Yeah. Thank God. [laughter] Oh, [laughter] bye.

Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. We decided to be in a relationship. Yeah. Yeah. Right. Skip all the talking stage situationship and let's each other relationship. Oh wow.

>> Oh wow. Okay. Fast forward next two weeks to Okay. Milan. So he drove all the way from Joho to Milan and then to Milan.

Yeah. Let the our Malaysian listeners Yeah. Yeah. [laughter] [laughter] But okay, but seriously in his defense um parents from my parents [laughter] No, it's because my parents moved to Singapore like like the rumors saying that [laughter and gasps]

you like and my friend um she's she's flying as a flight attendant and like her her colleagues she attended my wedding and that she knows about because I do have friends that were off every friendship must be on social media

means we are friends. No, sometimes like you know we're friends offline you know they were talking about my wedding apparently and then one of the [laughter] royal I'm flying. The girls were like talking that royals. [laughter] Of course.

>> [laughter] >> If really if really this kind of behavior [laughter] dethrone >> [laughter] >> Cheers. [laughter] Cheese.

Cheese. [laughter] [laughter] >> [laughter] >> Cheers. Kiss. [laughter] Yes. class. [laughter] [laughter] back facing [laughter] backward. [gasps] Yes. Yes.

[laughter] [laughter] [laughter] [laughter] [gasps] Yes. Other rumors, which is so hilarious to me. So funny.

[clears throat] Shopping. Of course, yes. [laughter and snorts] Than grateful. [laughter] Yes. [laughter] Hopefully in the future we can go.

>> [laughter] >> Look at that. The next egg. [laughter] >> [laughter] >> Perform. [laughter] [laughter] WHAT IS [laughter] your favorite is this? [laughter] Okay.

Of course. [laughter] Yes. >> [laughter] [laughter] [gasps] >> Evil intentions [laughter] [gasps] Performance. Another egg. [laughter] [laughter and gasps] [laughter] [gasps] >> [crying] [laughter] >> Okay. All right. Okay. So, he even met my mom.

[laughter] Okay. Okay. Enough. Enough. Okay. All right. Uh okay. Wow. Promise ring. It's just not match my outfit.

Oh, that's good. Very good. That's good. Yeah. Good man exist. Good man exist. They had a clear intention right from the beginning. and he don't mind like you know putting all the effort style [clears throat] in front of the mother

just straight forward like that. So I told my team about he offered to [clears throat] call family unit leader. So we had dinner with his family and since then and now we're getting serious this mid next year after I finish my master. I

mean as much as I love him, I also want to start my career slowly. You guys first day class master class I so sweet.

[laughter] >> [laughter] >> Okay. Online chicken. [laughter] First day of class. >> [clears throat] >> which is but online you know I'll just zoom from home or what accompany you but somehow with him he resembles a lot of my late dad

and I'm where my dad with me and I stay longist relationship 15,000 miles from each other 100% perfect.

But he respects me. He knows what he wants. But despite all this, I feel wanted. I feel loved. Feel accepted. And I feel enough.

[laughter] [clears throat] Each other. Expectations. Yes. Love you, girlies. Wow. Oh my gosh. We [snorts] love your story, guys. Your wedding next year.

>> Oh my god. I would love to come. We will come. >> We will come. [laughter] >> Oh my god. Yeah.

>> Oh my god. Oh my god. You send message all the best and everything will be eased for you until the very big day message attach.

So it was their first message. Hi, it's me. I will just let my Tinder account be there for a while so I can read again.

Maybe some information you share. Why I miss out. Then hi. Yeah, sure. Whenever you're ready to delete, my class will finish at 5:30. That was I think the first message. Then another message is like three four months back

at least. Oh and also [laughter] so cute. I love this kind of man. >> Do you know that when I was dating, I asked what he wants from me. I think I mentioned this >> and then

make you my wife." >> Good. >> Straight. Straight. >> Very good. [laughter] >> Yeah. Like what what you want to you want to bring me go out for what?

>> Yeah. Exactly. >> For what? >> Yeah. Exactly. >> What do you want from me? Tell me.

>> Cuz everyone will have their own intentions. What? So what you want from me?

>> If you want like just [snorts] for fun time. Sorry. >> Maybe you can find a younger girl that can I don't know.

>> Yeah. >> Can actually No. Younger girls also don't waste your time. [laughter] No.

>> To me is just it's okay to date. Like it's okay to date. Yes. Yeah. But oh my god. We wish you all well.

It's a nice break from all these sas stories that we read, >> this is such a green flag story and we wish that everyone out there listening to this um you know someone who really loves you make you feel safe and just loved and

you know find the correct one you will feel all sorts. And you will also know it that he or she is the one for you.

That is so true. It's like instantly like oh yeah I think you are really the one for me.

>> Yeah. >> Yeah. Correct. >> If you know you know sometimes you don't have to take years to know a person to get married.

>> Yeah like very fast Jane also also. >> Ah right. >> Yeah. If you know it, you know it.

>> Yeah. I feel like m for me it's such a turn off if a man wants to just string me along and m when I ask much I'm like where is this going? I don't know.

Follow the flow. No, don't don't be with a guy like that. >> Okay, let me just share with you girls like um this thing that Aku recently shared also on TCC in case you all missed >> the types of boys to avoid. Okay.

So, number one is um all okay. >> Okay. Number one is the situationship scholar >> can't define the relationship.

>> Let's just see where it goes. Allergic to commitment >> disappears when feelings shows up. If he can't name it, he can't lead it. M >> so no such thing to my young girls out there there's no such thing as

situationship that's just >> a name I don't know which boy formed it you know >> or which I don't know whatever boy or girl or whoever who found that name >> yeah correct the the another one to avoid is the one word text yeah lol bad

no questions no follow up no effort >> we don't [clears throat] like men like that we want men to show effort Okay. But then number four is the ghost.

So vanishes mid conversation pops back up like nothing happened. Think thinks closure is optional. If he disappears once, he'll do it again.

>> You don't deserve that. Okay. Okay. Number five is the vibes only. Visionary. So no plans, no girls, just vibes.

>> Lives entirely in the moment. Vibes don't feel vibes don't build futures. >> Okay, number six. This I've dated this like >> this guy. Okay, your overreacting specialist. So much minimizes your feelings, turns problems back on you, gaslight your uh gaslight and respect

doesn't argue with your reality. Yeah. So minimize your feelings. So much like if my feelings blah blah overinking, I'm overreacting or I'm just too sensitive.

You get what I mean? Don't care about your feelings. Just shut them shut it down, you know? So, emotional intelligence.

>> Yeah. So, [clears throat] these are few of the red flags that should be aware of.

>> Yeah. >> It's a guide for our young listeners out there. >> Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. I love I love that.

I [clears throat] love that. >> But anyway, yeah. >> Yes, of course. Green flag, please just email us.

>> Yes, correct. Vibes like maybe we should do a new segment. Green flag man. Maybe we create a jingle Mr. Audio.

>> Jingle Mr. Audio. Green flag. Green flag. So, it's just much positive vibes only. Sparkle green flag. [laughter] I think once in a while of course because we always say green flex men do exist of course hope to our girls listeners out

there to give up your green flag guy don't give up okay you deserve it you deserve it please look into the mirror and say I deserve the I deserve a good husband I deserve it but of course we have do

self-reflection work. Yeah. Self check. Yeah. And also be realistic. Um Yeah. Okay guys. So I think Oh no no no no no. It's very very early.

[laughter] Okay. The next story. The last story. >> Yes. My husband the greenest flag. Hi ladies. I don't have any sassy or red flag stories, but I just want to share my story on how I scored the greenest

flag of a husband. Alhamdulillah. >> Alhamdulillah. >> So, I went through so many breakups and traumas when I was younger. So, naturally, I was single for years before I dated him.

>> He was my senior in Poli and we were social media friends but never actually talked.

>> So, one day he commented on one of my Twitter posts and a mutual friend saw our conversation. This friend texted me urgent please call me at this number. So of course I called last about urgent code and I was worried

>> when I called that number. It was a man's voice and I don't know how but I figured it was him.

>> We had a good laugh about it because our mutual friend match make us without us knowing.

>> Okay. >> And who knew that it's that exact voice that I'll never want to stop hearing.

>> A [laughter] from then on we never left each other's side. And this is how I met my husband.

13 years ago. Subhan Allah. He is really Swami Kmanuhan. He treats me like a princess. Always writing me love letters, surprising me with flowers, sometimes bags and wallets too. Does all the household chores, cooks, takes care of the kids, very empathetic, giving me

his credit card to spend with no limit. When I use my own money, he will neck at me and remind me that it's his responsibility to provide. But Most importantly, he makes me laugh every day, even if he's tired after a

long shift worked. It's never a dull day with him around. My kids can, sorry. Um, it's never a dull day with him around.

And my kids can see that, too. They're always saying, "Papa and mama love each other so much." And of course, he listens to TCC because good men listens to CCC. Alhamdulillah. Alhamdulillah.

Shout out to you, Mr. Goodman. >> Yes, shout out. >> After seeing how our dads treat treats our mom, he knew from day one that he'll never be that kind of man to his wife and kids. And I'll always be grateful

for that friend who saw potential in us. So ladies, please, please never settle for less. Every breakup and every trauma is just a step forward to meeting the right one.

We can choose our husbands, but our kids cannot choose their dads. So, please do not give these [ __ ] a chance.

I love that. I love that. >> I love that so much. >> Sorry if it's too long, but I just I just not lightened the mood secret from all the red flag useless guys. Haha. No, my marriage be a happy one always. Okay.

I will also pray for the TCC team, too. Thank you, ladies. May TCC continue to grow and blossom always. Wow.

>> Wow. Mah, green flags do exist. So please give up and don't give these [ __ ] a chance also is for you guys to really see out all the dusty ass men.

>> Yeah, correct. Yeah. >> Yeah. Uh yeah. So good men exist, good women also exist. So I hope this good men honestly I want a good man.

That's true. Yeah. So, always improve ourselves first. >> Yes. Correct. Do the inner work first, you know. Yeah. We need to heal ourselves first.

Lovely because have like you know baggage and problems not solve or like just emotional baggage like burden that someone and they don't deserve that.

They don't deserve our like bitchiness. They don't deserve our negiveness. So if we heal ourselves first blah blah fill other people's cup.

Yeah. [laughter] Okay, not sas but green flag. Hello to the beautiful and gorgeous sis Ruda and Sophia. I'm your fan from Malaysia and I love you guys from your talk and I got one dating story and for me one of a

kind but it's not a sasu story. So it started in 2024. I met this guy accidentally my friend and that time I came to Singapore for work and that night too my friend So we go there and I saw him and his

friend make eye contact and then just smile smile. I don't know how my confidence so tingy some I walk up to him for his Instagram account feeling actually and then we started talking there and after quite some time

for dinner and I agreed and I didn't expect too much night. Oh wow. Wow. So I just assumed like a normal dinner mall, but turns out he booked a fine dining dinner so for the first meet and because before this

adventure join. So he will find a game like that if he come to meet me and he also will be the first person to wish my birthday to be exact after 12 midnight. that kind one thing is this one time I post status

WhatsApp video a girl and celebrate my birthday water [laughter] it's not a keychain it's a figure and then I asked how do you know I like that thing and and things is but thing is a few weeks and yet he still remember

I love that so much [laughter] and he is very gentleman but from Singapore to KL so KL is so every time and that thing Not every guy can do even even they have their own transport uh even though they have their own

transport and he will also pay everything without asking for 50/50. Oh yeah that time I know him or mature and gentle. So conclusion de if he won he would do anything to you and anyways thank you guys.

Bye. Love you guys. Very good. Thank you so much. Love, love love love. [laughter] But thank you so much, guys.

Green flag. Please just email us. Sometimes after hearing so many [gasps] weird sas stories, all you want to hear is just positive things. So I hope this episode enlightened all of you out there.

Give up hope and good men do exist, good women do exist. You know what I mean? So just manifest for that. Okay. Last.

>> I did last. Okay. >> He was my green forest but I left him.

Heartbreaking story. Okay. Hi Sophia, I really love listening to she code podcast. It really feels like a safe space.

Thank you for always the me drive and making traffic jam slightly more bearable. I've been going back and forth about sharing this story, but now that I'm about to get married, I feel [music] like I need outside perspective.

So I would really appreciate if my identity could remain anonymous if you decide to share this story on the podcast. So this happened during my postgraduate program. So in my first semester I met this one guy. Let's call

him AF. >> Okay. >> We were in the same club team. So naturally we got close. At first it was just team work, group chats, but slowly I could feel that he was trying to get to know me gently and without pressure.

So at [music] that time I had just broken up with my boyfriend. It was messy.

You know I tried to move on but by keeping myself busy but deep down I was still hoping for my old relationship.

>> Okay. >> During final exams of semester 1, AF and I became really close. We joked a lot, texted almost [music] daily and replied to each other's WhatsApp statuses.

Nothing too obvious but very consistent. Second semester came and that's when I realized he was really trying to get my heart.

>> He would buy me food, take care of me when I wasn't well, ble. And one thing that really touched me was when he prepared breakfast for me. He told me he woke up at 3:30 a.m. just to make bal

for me. I was so taharu. He was such a green forest. If I hadn't printed my assignment, he would offer to print it.

If I haven't [music] eaten, he would bonko's food for me. If I needed anything, he would help without complaints. He even tap out his food for me when he went out with his friends and sent it to my house. We never officially

declared anything, but somehow we saved each other numbers with love emojis. Got to know each other's moms and spent a lot of time together. It felt like we were more than just a friends, just without a title. Then came third

semester. One day he surprised me with flowers and a cake just because I tweeted that I want flowers. That moment felt unreal.

>> But then >> my ex came back. >> Oh damn. And the truth is I wanted my old relationship back.

I told Aif honestly that I couldn't continue with him because he asked questions. Of course, he admitted that he already cared deeply and quietly he had even started saving money to send his family Maurici after we finished the semester.

[gasps and sighs] [laughter] Waste people time. Ramadan. Okay. And yet in the end he accepted it. No drama, no hate, just acceptance.

[laughter] Super. [laughter] [laughter] Yes. And then he [laughter] [laughter] without music. Ah bully bully bully. Okay.

>> Okay. [clears throat] Okay. Oh. Hi. [laughter] >> [laughter] >> Okay. Both character. [laughter] Okay.

[laughter] Okay. >> [laughter] >> They need a girl. [laughter] [laughter] >> [laughter] [laughter] >> Okay.

Okay. [laughter] Okay. Okay. Action. My ex is the I'm dreamer [laughter] suitcase. Okay. Actually, I'm not surprised.

Oh hi. Amy. Hi, Amy. Oh, hi. I bought you something. Oh, I [gasps] [laughter] a [laughter] Okay. Okay. Aif.

Okay. Okay. [snorts] >> [laughter] >> a something you um you told my ex-boyfriend [music] Roy.

Yeah Roy. Actually, yesterday um >> [music] >> That's why that me and Roy. [music] So I think, you know, have to keep distance. You get what I mean? Because it's not it's not nice for me to like, you know, cuz I

have a boyfriend. I'm I'm sorry. I'm >> [laughter] >> That's a good wing. Yep. Yes. It's wang wang wang. I know.

Wang [laughter] wang wang. So, drop the flowers. >> Drop drop it. Drop drop on the floor like grape. Drop.

It's Yeah. Um, if you're happy, I'm happy. You know, I'll be happy for you.

Um, and I I wish you all the best. Okay. [laughter] Slow slow. [laughter] [laughter] >> [gasps] >> Green forest.

Black forest [laughter] forest. Black forest. Berries. [laughter and gasps] Okay. Of course. Okay. And yet in the end he accepted it. No drama, no hate, just acceptance.

Now here's the part where I have to admit that I am the red flag in this story.

>> When I got back together with my ex, who is now my fiance, >> he asked me to remove Afia, delete his number, and inform him that I was engaged. I did remove Afir from my social media but I never really deleted

his number and I never told Af that I was engaged because at that time technically I wasn't engaged yet >> and up till today AF and I are still friends. We still reply to each other WhatsApp statuses but very rarely. I

know he's still single [music] and he doesn't know that I'm engaged or that I'm getting married soon. So here's my dilemma. Now I know I need to respect my fiance, but what about AF? What happens if one day he finds out that I suddenly

got married from someone else's mouth, from mutual friends? Is it kinder to stay silent out of respect for my fianceé? Or is it kinder to be honest so Af doesn't feel blindsided?

I'm getting married this June. Should I invite him? If not, should I at least tell him the truth before he hears it from others? At one time, he loved me in ways that were so real. And I don't want

[laughter] >> And I don't want my happy ending to be someone else's quiet heartbreak.

I want to do the right thing before starting a new chapter of my life. Thank you so much for taking the time to read my story. It truly means a lot to me. I really hope to hear your perspectives on

this and I hope all the good things in your life coming your way always.

>> Amen. Amen. Thank you so much. Okay girl, you uh I tell you what, you put yourself first what you want. You ask yourself what you want.

>> You want a or you want your ex? If you want to move on with your ex, you already wasted Afif's time. Then just move on. You cut all your contact with this Afif guy and you tell him the truth

that you know I want to start a new chapter with with this guy. Blah blah blah. I'm happier and this is my happy ending that I want.

Yeah, I feel like making a backup, you know, plan B in case [ __ ] goes south, I have can go back to because this one is always going to be the nice guy.

>> Yeah, because he's forever nice to me. >> Yeah. So, don't take advantage of the nice boys.

Suddenly a prince charming wants to like come and rescue heal you and rescue you.

I won't go back to that. Ask yourself touch your heart. Ask ask yourself. >> So let's just take this as our production. Okay. Who's the green flag man like heal meat?

[laughter] [laughter] Yes, it's very fatamined. Okay. And then the ex-boyfriend which is now the current fiance. I know who sharp.

>> I was about to say that. Very smart. High five. >> Who is the >> the girl?

>> Yeah. >> The one cannot decide. >> Emma, she's such a good actress. >> Yeah, she is. Emma that confused. I don't know who who [laughter] >> [laughter] >> Drama slot [laughter] is the showing. Correct. Now showing this one. Now showing. Very good.

[clears throat] >> Yep. That's good. >> That's good. That's good. Perfect cast. >> Perfect. Perfect cast. This is our perfect cast.

>> Perfect. [laughter] >> Such a perfect cast. >> Shake production. >> Shake production. [laughter] [snorts] dining table [laughter] and and [laughter] syrup.

Yes, orange juice is a must. >> It's always orange juice. >> Yeah. >> [laughter] [laughter] >> business.

[laughter] Oh, [laughter] [snorts] ring. [laughter] Another project. project back to backress [laughter] is like the average 9 to5. Yes. And then the mother only was raised by a single mom. Who should [laughter] very small steps at the entrance?

Yes. >> [laughter] >> Yes. And just nice another childhood friends. Don't see that actually there's other another crush.

Yes. me. Yes, that's me. [laughter] Right guys. >> Smart [snorts] spot on. >> Yes. Okay. Uh, what about Imama?

>> What character? She She's a city girl. >> City girl. >> City girl. Don't know what she wants in life.

>> Yeah. >> A [clears throat] rich do rich kid or >> no? Living alone.

>> Oh, living alone. Maybe got housemate kind. >> Ah, got housemate. >> Yeah. >> Ah, yeah. Correct. Yeah. Yeah. Got housemate live in apartment. That kind >> But don't know what she want.

>> Yeah. Don't know what she want. >> Yeah. Dear dear dear [laughter] production production okay this episode is brought to you by Design Design or you can call or WhatsApp them at 88752611 to start your design journey today

guys and we see you all in the next episode. Bye-bye.