Speaker A
What if I told you that confidence has nothing to do with feeling ready and everything to do with doing it scared?
Leila Hormozi argues confidence is the output of taking action, not an input from affirmations or feeling ready. Build it through small consistent wins and tracked evidence.
Key Takeaways
- Confidence comes from doing, not from believing or feeling ready.
- Take small, consistent actions and track your evidence of progress.
- Keep promises to yourself even when you don't feel like it.
- Avoid overwhelming yourself; start with achievable steps to build momentum.
What the video covers
- Confidence is an output of action, not an input; you build it by doing the thing while scared.
- Positive affirmations written on a mirror did not build lasting confidence for the speaker.
- The brain gathers evidence; completing tasks creates identity shifts and self-trust.
- Our brains are wired for survival, so avoiding fear-inducing tasks reinforces anxiety; facing them teaches safety.
- Confidence must be maintained through continued action, like a muscle that weakens without training.
- Tracking daily wins helps counter the brain's tendency to focus on negatives.
- Going too big too fast causes failure; starting with small, easy, achievable steps builds momentum.
- The speaker's story: moving at 21 with no job or money, then learning sales at a gym through relentless practice.
- Keeping promises to yourself, especially when unmotivated, is the input that generates confidence.
- Break goals into many small steps and check off progress daily to feel accomplishment.
Chapters
- 00:00Confidence Comes From Doing It Scared
- 01:32Why Affirmations Don't Work
- 03:09Confidence Is the Output, Not the Input
- 04:49Building Confidence Through Action
- 06:29The Story of Moving Across the Country
- 07:59Learning Sales and Overcoming Fear
- 09:29Tracking Wins and Taking Small Steps
- 11:00Conclusion and Final Advice
Full Transcript — Download SRT & Markdown
Speaker A
the input. A lot of people ask me, Ila how do I build confidence? And I get it because it's just like everyone's like "Oh, believe in yourself. You just need to believe in yourself." And they think that you need to write these affirmations on the bathroom mirror every morning. And listen, that's what I did when I was in my early 20s. I literally did this. I had it written on my mirror. It was like, I am beautiful. I am strong. I am capable. I am confident. And guess what? Nothing
Speaker A
I have built multiple businesses. I've led massive teams. I've been on stages terrified out of my mind. And somehow I'm still standing.
Speaker A
think about it, if somebody's like, I really just want to be skinny, right? And so that all they do is just like thinking about being skinny, wishing they could be skinny, but you're like just get in the gym. Get in the gym, do the workout, eat the food. You can't just wish for it. You have to work for it. So, I'll give you an example. At the age of 21, I moved across the country. I had no job. I had no money. And I had no clue what the hell I was doing. I certainly had no confidence in myself.
Speaker A
So, if you've ever wondered how to stay calm in a situation or how to stop overthinking or how to build real confidence, here's how.
Speaker A
getting a job at 24-hour fitness. And when I got the job, what I realized within the first two days was that the job wasn't about fitness. It wasn't about everything I'd learned. It was actually about marketing and sales. And I was terrified because I was like, I have no idea how to do marketing and sales. And I felt like this complete imposttor syndrome. I just felt like an out of my body experience because I was like, "How am I supposed to do this?" But at the same time, what I'm seeing is
Speaker A
I am here to tell you how to actually build confidence.
Speaker A
make me feel worse about myself. And so I, put, in, the, reps., I, said,, I'm, going to read five books on sales. I'm going to be there at 4:00 a.m. I'm going to leave at 9:00 p.m. I'm going to drill. I'm going to take every opportunity to meet with somebody who's better than me. I'm going to, take, all, the, opportunity possible to learn the skill. I was so nervous the first time I went to make my first sale that I went into the bathroom because I thought I was going to throw
Speaker A
Most people have it backwards. Confidence is the output, not the input.
Speaker A
myself. It was like this vision that I had of my future self just got pulled into reality. And every belief I had about myself was broken. Right? Then I didn't believe that I could make money. I wasn't confident in my ability to sell or to market until the sale happened. And all of a sudden, it was like more of what's possible came to mind for me. Like I started to think about other things I could do. I started thinking about other skills I could acquire. I started to think about other things
Speaker A
A lot of people ask me, "Ila, how do I build confidence?" And I get it, because it's just like everyone's like, "Oh, believe in yourself. You just need to believe in yourself." And they think that you need to write these affirmations on the bathroom mirror every morning.
Speaker A
it. So, if you see people, right, you see people when you're younger and you're like, "How is that person so confident, right? like given all their circumstances, maybe what they look like, maybe their job, their career they've done work that you haven't done. And that's the thing, you have to work for it. You have to put it into existence and you have to make it happen. Here's the thing. Your brain gathers evidence, and evidence is what builds the identity and confidence over
Speaker A
And listen, that's what I did when I was in my early 20s. I literally did this. I had it written on my mirror. It was like, "I am beautiful. I am strong. I am capable. I am confident."
Speaker A
going to avoid it." Which means that you won't die. Right? Because our brains are wired for survival, not success. And so it is crazy to think that you would actually have confidence when you haven't done the thing yet. You will become confident once you've done the thing because your brain does it. It sees you didn't die and it says, "It's okay. You can do it again." Now, here's the thing. I wasn't like forever confident now because just like a muscle that you work out gets weak if you don't
Speaker A
And guess what? Nothing changed. It didn't do anything. Having those things written on my mirror didn't do jack for how I felt the rest of my day.
Speaker A
way they do. I'm going to work out the way they do. I'm going to try and even dress the way they do. And I'm gonna hope and pray it actually works, right? Because I'm sick of being fat. But the most important thing I started doing is I started tracking every single day what I ate when I worked out. It's not that within the day I lost 50 lbs between Monday and Tuesday, right? But I did notice that even if I felt like I overeat or even if I felt like I was slacking or even if I felt like my
Speaker A
And the reason for that is because confidence comes from action. And that's why I say so often, "Trust the plan. Follow the plan." Because if you keep the promises that you make to yourself, especially when you don't feel like doing it, that's the input that leads to the output of confidence.
Speaker A
brain helps override the emotional narratives that you tell yourself. Your brain will follow the evidence. And so tracking things and tracking our progress. The reason why it keeps people on track is because your brain looks at it and it objectively says, "Oh, wow. This is evidence. This is data. This is important. And I'm going to believe it." Before that, all that's happening is that you feel like even when you're making progress. Have you ever felt that way before? Have you ever felt like
Speaker A
And that's what most people miss. They're so busy chasing the result.
Speaker A
five good days this week and really two bad ones." But it's just that our brains love to take the negative and make it bigger than it is. And so we have to fight that natural tendency by tracking our wins. Now, here's the thing. If you're struggling to stay consistent and you're like, I am tracking things, but I still don't feel confident and I don't feel like I'm making progress, then my guess is this. You're trying to go too big. You're taking too big of a leap.
Speaker A
If you think about it, if somebody's like, "I really just want to be skinny," and all they do is think about being skinny, wishing they could be skinny, but you're like, "Just get in the gym. Get in the gym, do the workout, eat the food." You can't just wish for it. You have to work for it.
Speaker A
asked them to make their bed and take a picture. Isn't that crazy? Now, why is that? Because he wanted to make it something so easy and so small that he knew that by the end of 7 days, they would feel good about the fact that they had made their bed every day. And so what that did is it created the confidence in that person so that they felt like they could take the next step. And people think, "Oh, it's so small. I'm not going to feel the reward of it." That's not the case. That's not how it
Speaker A
So, I'll give you an example.
Speaker A
day I go in and I'm like, what have I accomplished on the way to my goal? If I have 20 steps in each of the goals I have, I get to go in and I get to hit check, check, check. And it's funny because if I look at these goals, it feels very overwhelming until I realize that almost every day I'm checking off at least one piece of one goal. And that has helped me so much in realizing that if I were to try and tackle all four of those goals in one week, I'm going to stumble. I'm probably going to fail
Speaker A
At the age of 21, I moved across the country. I had no job. I had no money. And I had no clue what the hell I was doing. I certainly had no confidence in myself. And I wasn't confident in my ability to pull it off.
Speaker A
goals. Versus the other narrative, which is you try to take on something too big and then you're like, I'm the kind of person who doesn't achieve their goals. I don't feel good about myself. And then you spend all this time beating yourself up because you set a goal that was too big is unrealistic. The frame I use is tiny tweaks. What is one tiny tweak I can make today? And then what's one tiny tweak I can make tomorrow? And so on and so forth. And so like for example, when
Speaker A
And so, what I did is I said, "Okay, I'm at least going to put together a plan."
Speaker A
like, "Oh my gosh, I don't even understand. You told me that we have this full team meetup next year. How am I going to get on stage and speak to the team? I can't even barely do anything." And I'm like, "Listen, baby steps, tiny tweaks. Here's what we're going to do. On the huddle on Monday, I want you to just run this portion. It's 60 seconds. Then on this meeting on Tuesday, I just want you to give a shout out to one person. And then on the next week, I want you to own this portion. It's 120
Speaker A
So, what I did is I moved to California. I got an apartment, and then I looked for every place that I could work, which was a gym, because I have my degree in exercise science. Within walking distance. And I had to do walking distance, because I was like, I can't afford to pay for too much gas because I don't have money.
Speaker A
then, all, of a, sudden,, if, you, can, do, a presentation to your team, you can do a presentation to the whole team. And they're doing a presentation to the whole team. and eventually they're speaking at our annual event. And I've used this time and time again to take people who were terrified of public speaking and turn them into people who are rock stars on stage. But it starts with something as simple as I don't say "Let's go get you on stage." I say "Let's have you speak for 60 seconds on
Speaker A
And so I ended up getting a job at 24 Hour Fitness.
Speaker A
what I've learned. Choosing to tolerate fear and discomfort rather than trying to eliminate it is how I've been able to transform everything that I have done everything I've been terrified from from content creation to public speaking to running a giant company to buying multiple buildings to doing everything. I was no less scared than you, than you watching this video. I just decided that I was willing to be scared. I decided that I was willing to be uncomfortable.
Speaker A
And when I got the job, what I realized within the first two days was that the job wasn't about fitness. It wasn't about everything I'd learned. It was actually about marketing and sales. And I was terrified, because I was like, I have no idea how to do marketing and sales. And I felt like this complete impostor syndrome. I just felt like an out-of-body experience, because I was like, "How am I supposed to do this?"
Speaker A
before you have the breakthrough. And then what I tell people is this and what I've learned is that once you feel it right, you step into the situation you're scared of, you step on stage you're behind a camera, you sign the document, you can't control the fear. And so whether you want the fear to go away or not, it will. I promise you because that's how we are physiologically wired. So the moment you step on stage, here's what's going to happen. Say you're terrified of public
Speaker A
But at the same time, what I'm seeing is my bank account every single day. I had $5,000, and it was just down, down, down. My rent was $1,400 a month. Food, gas, everything else, insurance, paying off my student loan debt, all those things. Every single month, I was like, I've got three months.
Speaker A
from the situation and I didn't try to get rid of the fear. And so what I learned in doing all these things is that my emotions follow my emotion. That is how you behave your way into confidence. And you build up so much evidence that it would be unreasonable not to be confident. So here's how I want this to feel for you. I want you to visualize what's the thing that you're so scared of that you wish you had confidence in order to confront it. And now I want you to picture it like this.
Speaker A
And so I was like, I have to learn how to do this.
Speaker A
put it all in my purse and I'm going to take it with me to wherever I go and whatever I do. So, I'm not going to try and get rid of it. In fact, I'm going to try and take it with me because I'm still going to go do the thing. I'm going to have the fear with me. It's just like my little friend in my purse. I know it's there. I feel it. It's like in my stomach. It's like in my body. I don't like it necessarily, but I'm going to take it with me and I'm going to do
Speaker A
And the thing is, I knew I didn't want to be the person who walks out. I don't want to be the person who quits, because I knew that was just going to make me feel worse about myself.
Speaker A
how to lead yourself better, if you want how to learn how to lead people better you can go ahead and you can watch this video on the five skills that you need to do
Topics:confidenceself-improvementmotivationactionmindsethabit buildingLeila Hormoziself-confidencepersonal growthgoal setting
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