15 Dishes I'd Never Order After 31 Years Running Restaurants

I have eaten in more restaurants than I can count, and there are 15 things on the average menu I will not let a waiter put in front of me. Not because they are dangerous. Most of them are perfectly fine. It is because I know what they cost the kitchen, and I know what they are about to charge you. And the gap between those two numbers is where they make their rent off people like you and me. My name is Gus. I ran restaurant kitchens for 31 years, and I retired 2 years ago. And here is the thing about being retired. I do not owe that business a single thing anymore. No boss, no owner, no supplier waiting on a check. So, for the first time in my life, I can just tell you the truth about what happens back there. And tonight, I am going to hand you 15 of them. Number nine is the reason I never let them put a lemon in my water. Number four is a fish rule that a young cook taught me by getting sick, and I have followed it for 30 years. And number one, the last one, is the single line on a menu that has quietly taken more money out of older folks' pockets than anything else I ever saw. Stay with me for that one. Hit subscribe and grab a seat. We are counting down from 15.

Before we start, let me tell you the one thing that ties all 15 together. Because once you see it, you cannot unsee it. A restaurant does not make its money on the food you think is expensive. It makes its money on the food you think is cheap. The steak has a small markup because you know what a steak costs. The bowl of pasta, the pile of lettuce, the cup of soda, you have no idea what those cost. And that is exactly why they are on the menu at four and five times what the kitchen paid. They are not selling you dinner. They are selling you the things you cannot price. Keep that in your head all the way down. Number 15, the plain grilled chicken breast. Now, hear me out because this one hurts people's feelings. That grilled chicken breast is the cheapest protein in the whole building. It comes in frozen, portioned, a few cents on the dollar next to anything else back there. And the kitchen charges you 14, 16, 18 dollars for it, and hands you the driest, most joyless thing on the plate. In 31 years, I never once saw a cook take pride in a grilled chicken breast.

It is what we made when we had to, not when we wanted to. If you are paying restaurant prices, order the thing they are proud of, not the thing they settle for. Number 14, the garden salad at premium prices. A handful of lettuce, three cherry tomatoes, a few shreds of carrot, and a drizzle of dressing out of a jug. That plate costs the kitchen well under a dollar. And on a lot of menus, it will run you 11, 12, 13 dollars. I understand wanting something green, I do too. But you are paying for the plate and the linen and the walk to your table, not for the salad. It is the highest markup item in the building every single time. Number 13, bottomless soft drinks. A glass of soda is a few pennies of syrup and a lot of ice. They charge you $3 and refill it because the refill still costs them almost nothing, and it makes you feel like you got a deal. You did not. Order water, or order the one drink you actually want and enjoy it. But do not let a bottomless glass of colored sugar water be the thing that pads the check. That is designed. Number 12, bottled water. This one is simple. In most of this country, the tap water is clean, cold, and free.

When the waiter asks, "Still or sparkling?" and says it real smooth, he is not looking out for you. He is trying to add six or eight dollars to the table before you have even ordered. Say tap with a smile. There is no shame in it. I did it my whole career, and I still do. Number 11, anything with truffle oil. Here is a secret the fancy places do not want said out loud. Most truffle oil has never been near a truffle. It is a chemical made in a lab to smell like one. Mixed into cheap oil and drizzled on your fries or your pasta, so the kitchen can add $10 and the word gourmet. Real truffle is one of the most expensive things in food, and no kitchen is giving it to you for $12 over the fries. If it says truffle oil, you are paying for a smell that came out of a bottle. Number 10, the fried appetizer sampler. The mozzarella sticks, the fried pickles, the little basket of everything. That whole platter goes from a freezer bag straight into the fryer. Nobody cooks it. Nobody seasons it. A cook empties a bag into hot oil and plates it, and they charge you $14 for what cost them two. I am not going to tell you fried food is not good. It is good. I am telling you that you can buy the same bag at the store for what one appetizer cost and feed the whole family. Number nine, the lemon wedge in your water. I promised you this one. In a busy kitchen, those lemons are cut in the morning by hand, and they sit out in a tub for the whole shift. The hands that cut them touched everything. The tub does not get washed the way you would hope, and nobody, and I mean nobody, is scrubbing the outside of a lemon before it slices it. There have been studies on this, and the outside of a restaurant lemon is not a clean thing.

I stopped putting lemon in my water 40 years ago. If you want lemon, ask for it on the side in a clean dish, and use the inside, not the rind. Let me stop for 1 second. If a fellow who spent 31 years back there is telling you things nobody else will, do me one favor and hit that subscribe button. I am putting these out every week, one honest list at a time, and I read every comment with my morning coffee. That is the only time I am going to ask. Back to the countdown. Number eight, the weekend brunch eggs and the hollandaise. I love a brunch, but understand what a brunch is to a kitchen. It is the shift where they move the food that did not sell on Friday and Saturday night. And the eggs, when a place is slammed with 200 covers, those scrambled eggs are very often cooked in a big batch early and held warm for hours. Held eggs are rubber, and hollandaise sauce, which is butter and raw egg yolk, is the single most delicate, most easily spoiled thing in the building. Made fresh, it is heaven.

Held on a warm line for 3 hours, it is the thing that sends people home sick. On a busy brunch, I order my eggs cooked to order, hard, and I skip the hollandaise unless I trust the place with my life. Number seven, any pasta dish. This is the king of the markup, so listen close. A big box of dried pasta costs the kitchen almost nothing, and it stretches into dozens of plates. A bowl of spaghetti that cost them maybe a dollar in food will sell for 18, 19, $22. That is not a knock on pasta. Pasta is wonderful. It is a knock on paying $20 for the one dish you can make better at home for under two. When I go out, I do not spend my money on the thing that is cheapest for them to give me. I spend it on the thing I cannot easily make in my own kitchen. Number six, the soup of the day. Now, some kitchens make a beautiful soup, and I will be fair about that. But, you need to know what soup of the day very often means. It means the vegetables that were getting too soft to serve, the trim off the meat, the odds and ends that could not go out on a plate, all simmered together so nothing gets thrown away. Sometimes that is thrifty and delicious, and sometimes soup of the day is just a polite name for the day before. I am not saying never. I am saying know what you are ordering, and if the answer to what is in it makes the waiter pause, order something else. Number five, a well-done steak. This one is going to start an argument, and that is fine. When a steak comes in and the order says well-done, a lot of kitchens will reach for the worst cut in the cooler. Why? Because they know you are about to cook every bit of flavor and tenderness out of it anyway, so why waste the good one on you? You are paying top dollar, 30, 40 dollars, and getting the piece they were happy to be rid of. If you like your steak well-done, and plenty of goo

Before we start, let me tell you the one thing that ties all 15 together. Because once you see it, you cannot unsee it. A restaurant does not make its money on the food you think is expensive. It makes its money on the food you think is

cheap. The steak has a small markup because you know what a steak costs. The bowl of pasta, the pile of lettuce, the cup of soda, you have no idea what those cost. And that is exactly why they are

on the menu at four and five times what the kitchen paid. They are not selling you dinner. They are selling you the things you cannot price. Keep that in your head all the way down. Number 15, the plain grilled chicken breast. Now,

hear me out because this one hurts people's feelings. That grilled chicken breast is the cheapest protein in the whole building. It comes in frozen, portioned, a few cents on the dollar next to anything else back there. And the kitchen charges you 14, 16, 18

dollars for it, and hands you the driest, most joyless thing on the plate. In 31 years, I never once saw a cook take pride in a grilled chicken breast.

It is what we made when we had to, not when we wanted to. If you are paying restaurant prices, order the thing they are proud of, not the thing they settle for. Number 14, the garden salad at premium prices. A handful of lettuce,

three cherry tomatoes, a few shreds of carrot, and a drizzle of dressing out of a jug. That plate costs the kitchen well under a dollar. And on a lot of menus, it will run you 11, 12, 13 dollars. I

understand wanting something green, I do too. But you are paying for the plate and the linen and the walk to your table, not for the salad. It is the highest markup item in the building every single time. Number 13, bottomless

soft drinks. A glass of soda is a few pennies of syrup and a lot of ice. They charge you $3 and refill it because the refill still costs them almost nothing, and it makes you feel like you got a

deal. You did not. Order water, or order the one drink you actually want and enjoy it. But do not let a bottomless glass of colored sugar water be the thing that pads the check. That is designed. Number 12, bottled water. This

one is simple. In most of this country, the tap water is clean, cold, and free.

When the waiter asks, "Still or sparkling?" and says it real smooth, he is not looking out for you. He is trying to add six or eight dollars to the table before you have even ordered. Say tap with a smile. There is no shame in it. I

did it my whole career, and I still do. Number 11, anything with truffle oil.

Here is a secret the fancy places do not want said out loud. Most truffle oil has never been near a truffle. It is a chemical made in a lab to smell like one. Mixed into cheap oil and drizzled

on your fries or your pasta, so the kitchen can add $10 and the word gourmet. Real truffle is one of the most expensive things in food, and no kitchen is giving it to you for $12 over the fries. If it says truffle oil, you are

paying for a smell that came out of a bottle. Number 10, the fried appetizer sampler. The mozzarella sticks, the fried pickles, the little basket of everything. That whole platter goes from a freezer bag straight into the fryer.

Nobody cooks it. Nobody seasons it. A cook empties a bag into hot oil and plates it, and they charge you $14 for what cost them two. I am not going to tell you fried food is not good. It is

good. I am telling you that you can buy the same bag at the store for what one appetizer cost and feed the whole family. Number nine, the lemon wedge in your water. I promised you this one. In a busy kitchen, those lemons are cut in

the morning by hand, and they sit out in a tub for the whole shift. The hands that cut them touched everything. The tub does not get washed the way you would hope, and nobody, and I mean nobody, is scrubbing the outside of a

lemon before it slices it. There have been studies on this, and the outside of a restaurant lemon is not a clean thing.

I stopped putting lemon in my water 40 years ago. If you want lemon, ask for it on the side in a clean dish, and use the inside, not the rind. Let me stop for 1 second. If a fellow who spent 31 years

back there is telling you things nobody else will, do me one favor and hit that subscribe button. I am putting these out every week, one honest list at a time, and I read every comment with my morning coffee. That is the only time I am going

to ask. Back to the countdown. Number eight, the weekend brunch eggs and the hollandaise. I love a brunch, but understand what a brunch is to a kitchen. It is the shift where they move the food that did not sell on Friday and

Saturday night. And the eggs, when a place is slammed with 200 covers, those scrambled eggs are very often cooked in a big batch early and held warm for hours. Held eggs are rubber, and hollandaise sauce, which is butter and

raw egg yolk, is the single most delicate, most easily spoiled thing in the building. Made fresh, it is heaven.

Held on a warm line for 3 hours, it is the thing that sends people home sick.

On a busy brunch, I order my eggs cooked to order, hard, and I skip the hollandaise unless I trust the place with my life. Number seven, any pasta dish. This is the king of the markup, so listen close. A big box of dried pasta

costs the kitchen almost nothing, and it stretches into dozens of plates. A bowl of spaghetti that cost them maybe a dollar in food will sell for 18, 19, $22. That is not a knock on pasta. Pasta is wonderful. It is a knock on paying

$20 for the one dish you can make better at home for under two. When I go out, I do not spend my money on the thing that is cheapest for them to give me. I spend it on the thing I cannot easily make in

my own kitchen. Number six, the soup of the day. Now, some kitchens make a beautiful soup, and I will be fair about that. But, you need to know what soup of the day very often means. It means the

vegetables that were getting too soft to serve, the trim off the meat, the odds and ends that could not go out on a plate, all simmered together so nothing gets thrown away. Sometimes that is thrifty and delicious, and sometimes

soup of the day is just a polite name for the day before. I am not saying never. I am saying know what you are ordering, and if the answer to what is in it makes the waiter pause, order

something else. Number five, a well-done steak. This one is going to start an argument, and that is fine. When a steak comes in and the order says well-done, a lot of kitchens will reach for the worst cut in the cooler. Why? Because they

know you are about to cook every bit of flavor and tenderness out of it anyway, so why waste the good one on you? You are paying top dollar, 30, 40 dollars, and getting the piece they were happy to

be rid of. If you like your steak well-done, and plenty of good people do, that is your right. But, know that you are often paying for quality you will never taste, and getting the cut nobody else wanted. Number four, fish on a

Monday. Here is the rule a young cook taught me the hard way back when I was coming up.

Most restaurants get their fresh fish delivered a few times a week, and the big deliveries come in for the weekend crowd. So, the fish sitting in the cooler on a Monday has very often been there since Friday. Three days, four

days old, sitting in ice, waiting. A good kitchen tracks it and tosses it. A tired kitchen on a slow Monday sells it.

I do not order fish early in the week unless I know the place turns it over fast. Save the seafood for Thursday, Friday, Saturday when it just came off the truck. Number three, the dish your waiter pushes the hardest. Pay attention

to this one because it is a quiet trick. When a server leans in and says, "Oh, you have got to get the such and such tonight. It is really moving." Stop and ask yourself why it is really moving.

Sometimes it is genuinely the best thing in the house. But very often the kitchen has told the floor, "We over ordered. We have too much of this. Push it before it turns." The special that everybody is suddenly recommending is sometimes just

the thing they most need to get rid of tonight. A good waiter earns your trust.

But the harder the push, the more I ask what is actually going on back there. We are down to the last two and these are the two I feel the strongest about because these are the two aimed right at

folks our age. Number two, the early bird special or the senior special. I know, it sounds like they are doing you a kindness. Come in before 6:00, get a discount, a smaller plate, a gentle price. And here is what I saw for 31

years. That special is very often built from the least expensive, oldest, most basic food in the building. Portion small and priced to look like a gift while still making the kitchen a healthy margin. They are not giving you a break

because they respect your years. They are moving the cheapest inventory to the crowd they know is watching every dollar.

You have earned the right to order whatever you actually want off that menu. Do not let them decide that because you are careful with money, you should get the plate they were going to throw out. And number one, the one I

promised you. Anything listed at market price with no number printed on the menu. You have seen it. Next to the fish or the crab or the special, where the price should be, it just says market price or MP or ask your server. Here is

the truth about that little phrase. When a restaurant does not print the price, it is because the price is high and they know that if you saw the number, a lot of you would not order it. So they leave

it blank and they count on you being too polite to ask. And I watched it year after year, older folks who were raised not to make a fuss ordering the market price dish and getting a check with a

$60 plate on it they never agreed to. Never ever order a dish without knowing the price. If it says market price, you look that waiter in the eye and you say, "What is the price today before I order?" Every single time. There is no

shame in it. The shame belongs to the menu that hid the number, not to the person who asked. Let me be honest with you about something before I let you go because I try not to sit here like I

have always known better. Early in my career, I was the young cook on a slow Monday and I plated fish I had a bad feeling about because the boss said move it and I wanted to keep my job. A table

got sick, not badly thank God, but sick. And I have carried that for a long time.

I am not telling you these 15 things because restaurants are the enemy. Most of the folks back there are good tired people trying to make a living. I am telling you because the business is built a certain way and nobody who is

still in it has a reason to explain that to you. I am out now, so I can. So, here is your homework and I grade easy. Just one thing this week. The next time you sit down to eat out and the waiter read

you the specials, ask the price on every single one before you decide. That is all. Watch how the whole table relaxes once somebody finally asked the question out loud. Now, I want to hear from you.

Which one of these 15 surprised you the most? And tell me what part of the country you are watching from because I promise you the fish rule is different in a coastal town than it is in the middle of Kansas. I read every comment

with my coffee and the best story gets talked about in the next video. And next week, I am going to open up the other side of this, not what to skip, but the handful of dishes I always order. The

ones where the kitchen is actually giving you more than you paid for. There are a few of them and they are not the ones you would guess. Subscribe so you do not miss it. 31 years back there and

I never once got to say any of this out loud. Now, I get to say it to you. See you next