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Depression points to the imperfection of love. To be loving beings, we must also be beings who despair at the loss of what we love. And depression is the mechanism of this despair. When it advances, it leads to the destruction
Explores depression's impact on love, stigma, treatment challenges, and personal experiences with therapy and antidepressants.
Key Takeaways
- Depression deeply affects emotional connections and self-perception, often leading to isolation.
- Social stigma and lack of resources significantly limit effective treatment worldwide.
- Professional psychotherapy offers tools beyond emotional support, crucial for recovery.
- Women are disproportionately affected by depression due to social pressures.
- Accessible and vetted online psychological services can improve treatment reach and affordability.
What the video covers
- Depression is described as the despair linked to the imperfection and loss of love, leading to isolation and loss of meaning.
- The video highlights the widespread prevalence of depression globally and its severe social and economic impacts.
- Women experience depression more frequently than men, partly due to higher social pressures.
- Stigma around antidepressants and psychotherapy is significant, especially in post-Soviet countries, hindering treatment.
- Personal stories illustrate the challenges of living with anxiety and depression and the importance of professional therapy.
- A service for video consultations with vetted psychologists is recommended as an accessible therapy option.
- The video discusses the correlation between income levels and access to depression treatment, noting disparities in middle- and low-income countries.
- Negative attitudes from medical professionals towards antidepressants can worsen patient experiences and delay proper care.
- Historical and medical perspectives on depression treatments, including early antidepressants and their effects, are touched upon.
- The video emphasizes the importance of understanding depression beyond clinical definitions and the value of empathy and support.
Full Transcript — Download SRT & Markdown
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of our self and, ultimately, to the decline of the ability to give and receive love. Depression embodies the idea that each of us is alone within ourselves, destroying not only our connections with others but also our ability to be at peace with ourselves.
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Love, while not a preventative for depression, softens the tossing and turning of our minds and protects them from themselves. When in a good mood, people love. Some love themselves, some love others, some love their work, some love God. But any of these passionate
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feelings imparts to a person that vital sense of meaning in existence, which is the opposite of depression. At times, love withdraws from us, and we withdraw from love. In a state of depression, the meaninglessness of any undertaking and any emotion becomes apparent. The
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meaninglessness of life itself. The only feeling that remains in the absence of love is a sense of worthlessness. This is roughly how Andrew Solomon describes depression in his book "The Midnight Demon: The Anatomy of Depression." Indeed, if we
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look at depression without a psychiatrist's lens, it appears as a sinister monster that dwells where darkness and rot bring despondency and death. It sucks happiness, hope, and peace from everywhere. This is how Remus Lupin described Dementor in one
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of the Harry Potter books. It's no wonder J.K. Rowling drew inspiration from her own experience with depression to create such a grim image. Worse still, depression is astonishingly widespread. According to various estimates, it affects between 4% and 6% of the planet's population. And
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according to various studies conducted in the United States, up to 11% of the entire population experiences clinical depression at least once in their lives. Apparently, Dementor earns a good living from overtime. If you add up all the hours lost worldwide due to
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depression in 2012 and convert them to years, you get a terrifying figure: 75.6 million years. In countries with a high standard of living, where depression is well-diagnosed, it ranks among the top three most devastating diseases, along with coronary heart
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disease and stroke. Every year, approximately 700,000 people commit suicide worldwide. Suicide is the fourth leading cause of death among young people aged 15 to 29. And most interestingly, women suffer from depression far more often than men.
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Apparently, this is due to the increased social pressure women face, which is, on average, higher than the pressure on men. I can understand how difficult it can be to live with depression. And, unfortunately, to understand this, I don't need to strain
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my imagination; I just need to remember. If you've watched my streams, you probably remember my stories from childhood and later life. I literally lived with extreme anxiety every day, which, naturally, pounded my stomach.
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But the scariest thing was that I thought it was just how it was, that I just had an anxious personality. Back then, I couldn't imagine living a normal life without thinking I would have gotten this far without a
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psychologist. And it's not just about heart-to-heart talks. Unfortunately, no friend, even a very good one, can replace a professional, because a psychotherapist not only asks questions you likely haven't thought about yourself, they also teach you how to do
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the same, giving you this valuable tool for analyzing your actions, emotions, and even your entire life. So, if you're currently struggling and my words help you overcome some of your final barriers before starting therapy, try our service for selecting video
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consultations with psychologists. Sure, they'll help you find a specialist based on your completed application, and you won't have to, like me, sift through social media pages looking for someone more or less suitable. I'm not complaining at all. I was lucky with my
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psychologist, but social media is like getting a pig in a poke. It might not work out. It's easier in that regard.
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The service itself sets a high bar for its specialists, checking their education and references. Less than 20% of psychotherapists pass the screening.
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You can judge for yourself how thorough their approach is. Then, once they've found a psychologist for you, you can video chat. It's built into the service itself, so you won't need any extra software. A session lasts 50 minutes
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and costs 2,850 rubles. Interestingly, they clearly stated a single price per session, which is a whopping 2,000 rubles cheaper than what I paid. I dread to think how much I could have saved over the past year and a half of
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therapy if I'd found this out sooner. So, if you're ready, register, enter the promo code Loonie, and snag a 20% discount on your first session. A caveat: the promo code can only be linked during registration. So, if you're already using the service, let
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me know how you like it? Maybe it'll inspire someone to follow your example. Now, on to the video. A little earlier, I mentioned that the incidence of depression is directly correlated with the average income of citizens, and I
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cited the United States as an example. Research shows that despite the existence of effective treatments for depression, more than 75% of people in middle- and low-income countries receive no treatment. This is due to a lack of resources and qualified personnel.
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People simply can't be properly diagnosed with depression. And to top off our unfortunate bouquet, there's social stigma. And in the post-Soviet space, this is a very serious problem.
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As soon as you tell someone you're taking antidepressants, they start worrying you're about to become a drug addict. And if you inadvertently recommend psychotherapy to someone, you're more likely to hear a terrified, "Am I crazy?" Of course, the worst
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thing is for those currently experiencing depression, and instead of help and support, it's very easy to receive judgment and advice to finally pull yourself together or take 50 grams to calm down. And the last one, unfortunately, is no joke. I have a
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funny story. One day, my girlfriend had a severe anxiety attack. At the time, she still hadn't learned how to cope with them on her own, and the medications that were supposed to calm her down didn't work. It was an
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extremely unpleasant condition. Her pulse was over 100, she couldn't breathe, and it felt like her heart was about to stop. We called an ambulance, hoping the doctors could somehow alleviate the episode. When they arrived, they took my pulse, did an
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electrocardiogram, and gave me some strange pill, without revealing what kind of thing it was. But the real kicker was the elderly doctor's reaction when the girl mentioned she was taking antidepressants. And then it all started. You're way too young to be
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poisoning yourself with this crap. You'll never be able to get off them. It's worse than drugs. And the icing on the cake would have been better if I'd just had 50 grams of something alcoholic, and everything would have
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been fine. Unfortunately, explaining anything to him was pointless. He was deaf to my arguments, and I gave up on arguing with him altogether. I had to smile and nod. Luckily, the ambulance inspection itself calmed the girl down.
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Or maybe the magic pill worked, who knows? And when the doctors left, we just had a laugh and a funny recommendation from this doctor. But that's us. We have at least a modicum of knowledge. We've been to a
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psychotherapist more than once. Just imagine what would have happened if this authoritative, moderate man in a bathrobe had started dispensing such advice to someone who was experiencing such a condition for the first time.
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The best that could have happened to such a person would have been wasted time and unsuccessful attempts at self-medication. In the worst case, alcoholism. And that's no exaggeration.
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I saw how such
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surrounding mental illness has existed for as long as the illnesses themselves . People have always tended to regard everything mysterious and incomprehensible with apprehension and fear. In ancient Rome, people with any kind of disorder were avoided, believing that Jupiter had punished
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them by depriving them of reason, and in the Middle Ages, they were even considered possessed. Things began to change more or less in 1798, when the French physician Philippe Pinelle removed the chains from patients labeled insane in a Parisian asylum. He
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also abandoned the concept of demonic possession and began treating such patients humanely. Much has changed since then, but people's fear of the unknown remains. We now treat people with depression or epilepsy normally.
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But if some terrible incident involving a mentally ill person were to occur, the masses, fueled by the media, would immediately rally in unison to support some populist's initiative to lock up all psychos before they do anything dangerous. Schizophrenia, epilepsy,
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depression, psychopathy. Unfortunately, for those unfamiliar with these concepts, they are all the same thing.
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And if you go to a psychiatrist who sees schizophrenics, then you too are a psycho, and you should stay away from them. This causes even greater harm to those suffering from mental health issues themselves. Fear of negative attitudes leads to avoiding medical
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treatment and instead resorting to alternative methods, such as trips to the doctor, fortune tellers, and psychics. As a result, it can take a significant amount of time from the onset of symptoms until the patient finally reaches a psychiatrist or
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psychotherapist, which ultimately reduces the chances of a positive treatment outcome. According to one study, 32%of participants admitted to having mental health issues but did not seek help due to stigma. 62%of study participants also stated that they or someone they knew refused professional
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medical help, even knowing they needed it. Indeed, even after people begin receiving medical care, many abandon treatment, unable to withstand social pressure from friends, relatives, or colleagues. And what's more, the very system of government demeans people with mental disorders. This is
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well-known. They'll go to a psychiatrist, otherwise they'll diagnose me, and then they won't hire me anywhere. The funniest thing is, I realize now that if, God forbid, I'd had depression or something else as a child, the best thing that would have
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awaited me personally would have been an exorcism in front of fifty terrified grandmothers at church. But most people unfamiliar with depression can't even imagine what kind of condition it is.
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In our society, the very concept of depression is devalued. Sometimes people consider depression, well, a bad mood, and a bad mood, well, depression.
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The very concept has entered our everyday life as a synonym for some kind of sadness. Usually people say something like, "I won't go to the movies today, I'm not in the mood, I'm feeling down." But, in fact, it's just
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a bad mood, which our body needs, just like an elevated one. Depression, in fact, is a relatively good mood, not melancholy or even grief from loss.
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Depression is a persistent, prolonged low mood, characterized by anxiety, melancholy, and indifference. It is often accompanied by additional symptoms, such as guilt, pessimism, low self-esteem, anhedonia, chronic fatigue , and so on. Severe forms of depression involve what's known as a depressive
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subtype, including a depressed mood, slowed thinking, and motor retardation. When depressed patients say they can't get out of bed, that they simply don't have the strength, this isn't just a figure of speech; they genuinely don't have the strength. Yet depression comes
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in many forms. It's not always a veggie or a mushy mess. People with more or less mild depression can go to work, raise children, and generally appear normal. But this picture isn't always accurate. Besides the fact that depression creeps up slowly, like a
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patient predator, being too open isn't exactly common in modern society. Discussing psychological issues isn't common, and the ability to clench your teeth and hide your pain is much more valuable. As the saying goes, "Be patient, Cossack, and you'll become a
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nuclear weapon." And I've already mentioned in passing that depression and grief don't always go hand in hand.
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Depression isn't so much about suffering as it is about the absence of joy. Although that doesn't mean one excludes the other. And in the long run , it can be far more destructive to the psyche than grief. Perhaps it's best to
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define depression as mental suffering that grips us against our will and then ceases to be dependent on external circumstances. Depression isn't just intense suffering, but too much suffering can turn into depression.
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Sadness is depression proportionate to the circumstances. Depression is sadness disproportionate to them. And no matter how much innate willpower a person has, depression doesn't care.
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We're used to thinking of willpower as something innate, an unwavering character trait that distinguishes the strong from the weak. But in reality, this is far from the case. From a neurobiological perspective, willpower is a rather fragile and variable thing.
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Its strength directly depends on the functioning of our prefrontal cortex. This is the area of the brain responsible for behavioral control and decision-making. And our willpower depends on how actively the brain produces dopamine, the hormone directly responsible for motivation, and even on
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how hearty we had breakfast. As Andrew Solomon, whose quote I already shared today, said, the opposite of depression isn't happiness, but vitality. And depression robs you of this vitality.
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And this doesn't always happen instantly; sometimes it stretches out over many months. Even minor physical health issues can significantly reduce willpower, not to mention the willpower of a depressed person when they experience neurophysiological problems.
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Furthermore, willpower works very poorly without motivation. It's what drives us to do things, despite any adversity. For example, when a person suffers a tragedy, someone dies, or their wife leaves them, they still go to work and complete their duties
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because these tasks are marked as important in their mind. Why? Because their psyche rewards them for completing these tasks. In contrast, in someone with depression, the reward system fails, and all these important marks are removed. For a depressed
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person, going to watch their favorite team play or lying in bed all day are equally valuable. Of course, depressed people don't become stupid. They understand, for example, that cake tastes better than boiled potatoes.
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They at least remember this and are perfectly aware of it. But they simply lack the motivation. Their reward system won't reward them. They're just bogged down. And if there's no difference, why choose? And the longer a person lives without this feedback,
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the more relative certain activities and things seem to them. This is precisely why depressed people are prone to suicide. After all, when nothing in life brings you pleasure and you have no energy for anything, the choice to jump out the window takes on
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a completely different meaning. Over time, human views on the body and psyche have changed. Our understanding of depression has changed, too. In ancient Greece, it was believed that depression was caused by an excess of black bile in the body. That's where
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depression got its name, melancholia, where melan refers to black bile and cholia refers to bile. Bloodletting and exercise were recommended as treatment.
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A detailed video about bloodletting is also available on this channel. Black bile clouds the mind like the lens of the eye, which, when transparent, allows clear vision, but when unhealthy and clouded, obscures it. Likewise, the vital spirit can become heavy and
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opaque, wrote Galen. In the Middle Ages , of course, melancholy was attributed to demonic possession and exorcism was prescribed. Modern thinkers, however, sought answers in laziness and a lack of self-discipline. In fact, the exact causes of depression are unknown today.
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Only indirect ones are known. And before I begin telling you about antidepressants, I'd like to first tell you about the most popular theory of depression. I'll tell you about other theories a little later, but after the story of antidepressants, because
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without knowledge of antidepressants, you won't understand new theories of depression. And without knowledge of the most popular theory, you won't understand much about antidepressants.
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So, that's the kind of collision we have. So, the most popular theory about depression is that it arises from a malfunction in the neurotransmitter exchange mechanism. Neurotransmitters are chemicals responsible for the exchange of information between neurons , the cells of our brain. The same
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neuron can communicate completely different information to its neighbors, depending on the amount of neurotransmitters released. Simply put, a neurotransmitter is a kind of instruction letter. By sending these letters, the cells of the nervous system enable our minds to function.
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And this information, in the form of neurotransmitters, travels between neurons through special receiving and sending points, through synapses. Let's imagine that a neurotransmitter is a regular letter, and a synapse is a mailbox. There is also neuron A, the
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sender, and neuron B, the local post office, and certain receptors in the neuron are the recipients. When all is well, neuron A regularly drops letters into the mailbox. They arrive at neuron B, where they are distributed to their
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recipients. When a person is depressed, all the processes in their head begin to resemble typical problems with the Russian Post. Neuron A drops a letter in the mailbox, and it's sent to neuron B. But something goes wrong. No one
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seems to know exactly what. All they know is that the letter either doesn't reach the recipient, or it does, but not in the form it was sent in—that is, partially. As a result, the receptor, the recipient, never receives
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the letter, and it quietly bounces back . But since the sending neuron is busy, it doesn't notice this situation. Thus, a significant portion of the instructions sent by the neuron is lost or executed incorrectly. As a result, many things in the brain can go wrong.
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In depression, several neurotransmitters simultaneously enter the synapses in insufficient quantities . These include serotonin, norepinephrine, dopamine, and others.
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These are primarily substances belonging to the class of monoamines. This is why this theory is called the monoamine theory. Each patient has a unique mix of neurotransmitter imbalances, which is why depressions vary so much. A serotonin deficiency is
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believed to lead to social phobias, anxiety, and restlessness, while a dopamine deficiency, conversely, can turn a person into a lethargic vegetable. Incidentally, most modern antidepressants are designed to boost serotonin levels. Antidepressants, in a sense, prevent a stray neurotransmitter
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from returning to its home neuron. They force the neurotransmitter to repeatedly find its way to the mailbox and search for its intended recipient.
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This, of course, doesn't guarantee that the letter will reach its intended recipient, but it significantly increases the chances. But where did antidepressants come from? It all started, of course, with good old opium . In the 15th century, the famous
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physician and alchemist Paracelsus discovered that opium dissolves much better in alcohol than in water, and he created a tincture called Laudana. A 10 %opium solution, with its excellent analgesic properties, was ideal for treating depression. Well, that's what people thought in the 16th century.
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Laudanum was a very common medicine for a wide range of mental and other ailments. For three centuries, opiates were used to treat absolutely everything. As John Faus wrote in his novel "The French Lieutenant's Woman," in the Victorian era, laudanum was
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consumed more often than Holy Communion . But gradually, people began to realize that opiates were extremely difficult to cure, but easy to induce severe addiction. And they had countless side effects: fatigue, insomnia, physical addiction, and many others. Gradually, doctors were faced
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with the challenge of finding new ways to treat depression. And, as often happens, this happened completely by accident. Ironically, military conflicts, despite all their horrors, sometimes facilitate medical advancement. Injuries sustained on the battlefield provide, for example, an opportunity to experiment and test new
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approaches to treatment. For example, during World War II, bronchitis, sepsis , and other infectious diseases contracted by soldiers created a demand for broad-spectrum antibiotics, prompting scientists to seek new ways to produce penicillin on a large scale.
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But sometimes, even something traditionally used as a weapon was put to peaceful use. In our case, hydrazine is a fuel for German rockets, which became widespread in Germany on the eve of the war in 1937. German scientists were searching for new chemicals that
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they could use to launch their famous Fu-2 rockets, allowing for long-range bombing. And hydrazine was just the substance they needed. It decomposes quickly, releasing large quantities of nitrogen and hydrogen. This chemical reaction is capable of generating enormous amounts of heat and energy,
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precisely what was needed for the successful bombing of cities from London to Liège. More than 20,000 civilians died under these missiles.
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However, the war ended, Germany and the Asian countries were defeated, and now, according to the Marshal's plan, the Germans had to disarm. From now on, there was no need for hydrazine, which meant that the huge quantities had to
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be sold somewhere. Pharmaceutical companies eagerly snapped up hydrazine at good discounts. They found a way to adapt it to their production. And among these pharmaceutical companies was the Hoffman-LaRoche laboratory in New Jersey. Soon after the end of the war,
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they began experiments with hydrazine to develop a cure for tuberculosis. By the way, I also have a video about it.
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You can watch it. Back then, the problem of tuberculosis was extremely pressing. People were dying under the care of doctors, and there was absolutely no way to alleviate their suffering. This serious problem demanded a quick solution. And over
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time, the Hoffman-LaRoche laboratory came up with two such solutions. She developed two promising compounds produced using rocket fuel: proniazit and izzaniazit. Chemists discovered that these two substances killed the tuberculosis bacteria in the laboratory . But in clinical settings, things
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weren't so good. Patients still coughed up blood and suffered all the ills associated with tuberculosis. Any effect was only achieved by taking the drug for a long time. Serious side effects complicated the situation.
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Liver damage alone was costly. However, there was no escape. Treatment with these two drugs began to be gradually introduced in various tuberculosis clinics. This continued until one clinic noticed that some patients were exhibiting strange symptoms. For some reason, these drugs made patients feel
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much better about their often-fatal condition. According to one doctor, patients danced for joy at a time when their lungs were literally leaking.
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Even though the drug wasn't particularly effective against tuberculosis, it attracted considerable interest from doctors. What did these drugs do to alleviate such suffering for patients? It turned out that these two compounds interfere with the brain's natural chemical signaling
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system. Specifically, they affect neurotransmitters called monoamines, the better known of which, as I've already mentioned, are serotonin and dopamine. This, one could say, is where the history of antidepressants began.
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These two drugs were the first. These early antidepressants essentially block substances responsible for the destruction of a number of neurotransmitters and hormones. They were called MAOIs, or monoamine oxidase inhibitors. The discovery of this class of drugs prompted scientists to pursue
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this direction. Soon, more and more drugs with similar mechanisms of action began to appear like mushrooms. However , not everything was so rosy. These medications were extremely toxic to the body and could easily lead to hepatitis . Furthermore, IMAs interacted poorly
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with other medications, causing tyramine syndrome. This syndrome was characterized by severe headaches, high fever, and an increased risk of stroke or heart attack. It manifested itself with the consumption of foods rich in tyrs: cheese, coffee, smoked meats, beer, chocolate, milk, bean wine, and
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other products. It's impossible to list them all. Therefore, in 1956, when a new type of antidepressant, tricyclics, was discovered in the Old World, it was decided to focus on them. Tricyclic antidepressants got their name from their chemical structure. They consist
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of three rings linked together. Their properties, oddly enough, were also discovered by accident. In the mid-20th century, antihistamines and allergy medications were discovered. One of the side effects of these drugs was their ability to calm the mind. Psychiatrists
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quickly realized this could be useful in their field and began testing antihistamine derivatives as sedatives.
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One such psychiatrist was Roland Kuhn, a physician at a Swiss hospital. He studied the effects of one of the antihistamine derivatives on his patients with psychotic symptoms.
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Initially, the results were disappointing. There was no improvement , but then things began to change. Over time, the patients began to feel much better than before. In 1957, Ko published the results of his research.
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That same year, this active substance was named iminapromin. Its antidepressant effect was achieved by blocking the uptake of monoamines at the synaptic membrane—monoamines such as dopamine, serotonin, and norepinephrine. It turned out that, compared to Imao, the three cyclic
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derivatives acted more selectively and less harshly, making them much safer for the body. Thanks to this discovery, the development of new drugs for depression became targeted rather than haphazard for the first time. And between the 1960s and 1970s, the list
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of IMAO and tricyclic antidepressants expanded significantly. Some of them, developed then, are still used today.
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For example, amitriptyline, which, by the way, I took in 2020. But the real breakthrough in this field came later.
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In the early 1980s, the Swede Arvid Carlson noticed the extremely calming effect of a cold and allergy medication . Based on this, a fundamentally new drug, zimedin, was developed. Its mechanism of action was similar to previous antidepressants. It increased
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serotonin levels in the brain. At the same time, it had virtually no effect on other neurotransmitters, meaning many side effects could be avoided. It targeted depression even more precisely than tricyclics. In 1982, this new antidepressant appeared in pharmacies,
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representing a fundamentally new class of drugs—selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors. However, zimedine quickly disappeared from these pharmacies. And it wasn't just because it was particularly popular. It turned out to be much simpler. It was dangerous.
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Sometimes, after taking it, an acute neurological syndrome leading to partial paralysis developed as a side effect. However, this was a problem with the specific drug, not the class of substances as a whole. Its promise continued to inspire pharmaceutical
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companies to develop other similar drugs. And in the late 1980s and early 1990s, three drugs in the SSRI class, paroxetine, fluoxetine, and sertroline, appeared almost simultaneously. These drugs made it possible to combat depression without the terrible side effects and without the risk of
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poisoning. For example, to experience some truly terrifying, fatal side effects, you need to simultaneously take 75 therapeutic doses of steroids, while for tricyclics, this dose is only five times higher. In short, steroids have become much safer than all their
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predecessors. And we'll discuss one of these drugs in more detail: flooxetine, or, to use its trade name, Prozac. In the early 1970s, Ellie Lily pharmaceutical company employees Robert Radboud and Brian Maly were working on creating a new antidepressant. And not
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just any antidepressant, but one that would eliminate all the shortcomings of existing drugs. In other words, they needed a substance with less toxic side effects and more effectiveness. Or at least as effective as existing antidepressants. At the same time,
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David Tiwong, an employee of the same pharmaceutical company, was studying the mechanisms of serotonin reuptake by neurons. He wanted to find a new substance that would prevent this uptake, and Wong used several molecules synthesized by Mol. As a result, in
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1972 he was able to test a substance with a strong inhibitory response to serotonin uptake. Furthermore, this substance also inhibited the uptake of nuradrenaline, which could also be used as a stimulant. This substance was named floxitin, which two years later,
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in 1974, received the trade name Prozac . While zimedine, the first drug in the C3 class, was quickly forgotten, this drug truly became a breakthrough in the treatment of depression. In February 1977, Prozac was approved by the FDA,
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but it was 10 years before it finally reached its first patients in December 1987. And then came the real boom.
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During its first year of sales, Prozac sales reached $ 350 million. It was immediately nicknamed the "happy pill." Its remarkable antidepressant properties, which were due to increased serotonin in the synaptic cleft, coupled with increased norepinephrine levels, which produced a stimulating
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effect, made this drug ideal for the treatment of depression. It not only improved mood and reduced tension, anxiety, and fear, but also inspired patients and gave them strength. And yet, despite its popularity and colossal financial success, Prozac is
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probably one of the most controversial drugs I know. From the very beginning, Elli Lily, the company that produced it , had problems with it. Initially, they claimed Prozac was the first drug in a new class of SSRIs, but it turned out
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it wasn't, sparking a huge debate in the scientific community. Then, in May 1984, the Federation of German Wholesale and Foreign Trade declared the drug, quote, completely unsuitable for the treatment of depression.
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Following this, in 1985, FDA safety investigator Richard Carit issued a warning about the dangers of side effects, which could lead to, as he put it, major clinical interference with treatment. However, when the drug appeared on the Belgian market in 1986,
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it immediately became a bestseller. By 1994, Prozac had achieved similar status among antidepressants worldwide.
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Simultaneously, information began to emerge that the effectiveness of antidepressants was overestimated. Moreover, talk began to mount that in some cases, their use could negatively impact suicidal individuals. Indeed, at one time, the United States was rocked by a wave of suicides and other
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inappropriate behavior associated with floxitin use. After a series of high-profile media scandals, it was revealed that Prozac's ability to provoke suicide had already been discovered during its first human trials. However, Ellie and Lilly concealed this information for a long
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time, complaining of overdoses or the effects of depression. However, any side effect of antidepressants can push someone deeply depressed to the brink.
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Especially the drug's stimulating properties, which were initially considered a blessing. Here's how Polish writer Janusz Wisniewski describes this property in his book, " Loneliness on the Net." Did you know that depressed people most often commit suicide when Prozac starts to work and
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they're already on the road to recovery ? At the height of depression, you're completely lethargic, and you don't even want to slit your wrists. You walk or lie as if you're standing on setting concrete. But when Prozac starts to
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take effect, you gain enough strength to grab a razor and go to the bathroom.
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Therefore, those at the very bottom of depression should take Prozac in a clinic. And it's safest if they're strapped to the bed. This prevents them from going to the bathroom alone.
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However, they're quite capable of evading the vigilance of orderlies and making their way to the roof of the clinic building. This is precisely why patients are often initially prescribed tranquilizers along with antidepressants for a couple of weeks, until the drug's effects take full
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effect. Antidepressants, in general, are medications that don't show visible effects immediately. While not all antidepressants, most require between two and eight weeks to take effect.
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Side effects and stimulants, however, are not so slow. Consequently, they can indirectly contribute to suicide and inappropriate behavior at the very beginning, before they begin to alleviate the symptoms of depression, but have already energized the patient or alleviated feelings of fear and
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anxiety. The reaction to antidepressants has been particularly severe in those with fragile mental health, such as teenagers and children.
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When Prozac began being prescribed to children in the US as a stimulant and sold over the counter, juvenile delinquency skyrocketed. Teenagers shot teachers and classmates, and then committed suicide. Journalists often discovered that these teenagers were taking Prozac. Statistical analyses
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conducted later showed that floxitine use contributed to aggression and doubled the risk of suicide in children and adolescents, while in adults, the risk was reduced by a third. Funny, isn't it? But not for the population of that time. The FDA required all
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antidepressant manufacturers to place black-bordered warnings on their packaging stating that the drug may increase the risk of suicide in people under 25. Incidentally, this property is linked to a story that occurred in the summer of 2012 at the premiere of "
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The Dark Knight Rises." A young man named James Holmes walked into a movie theater at a shopping mall in Aurora like any other moviegoer. But he was anything but ordinary. Parked in the mall parking lot, he had a car
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containing a bulletproof vest, a gas mask, an automatic rifle, a shotgun, a pistol, and a smoke bomb. Inside the cinema, he assessed the situation and exited through a back door that led directly to the parking lot, where his
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arsenal was hidden. At 4:40 a.m. local time, a young man burst into the cinema wearing a special forces suit and a gas mask. At first, no one paid him any attention. Everyone assumed he was an entertainer, supposedly providing
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additional entertainment. Then the man pulled out a smoke bomb and threw it into the audience, immediately starting shooting. People panicked and ran. Some hid behind seats, others pushed through the aisles, trying to reach safety.
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Those in the front rows were the least fortunate, and Holmes fired at them first. Then he turned his attention to those running out the exits. But then his automatic rifle suddenly jammed, forcing him to switch to a shotgun and
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a pistol. Ten people died on the spot, and two more died in the hospital.
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Fifty-nine people were injured and taken to various hospitals across the city with gunshot wounds. The youngest of the wounded was just three months old. Police responded with lightning speed. The first car arrived on the scene within a minute and a half of the
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initial call. Arresting the gunman was relatively easy. He offered little resistance and surrendered without a fight. During his arrest, Holmes also reported that his apartment was booby-trapped, and he himself had already behaved erratically during questioning. According to police, he
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took a long time to answer, stared off to the side, and generally seemed out of his mind. The explosives the bomb squad found in his home were enough to demolish an entire high-rise building.
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While the bomb squad was disarming his apartment, residents of nearby buildings had to be evacuated. This incident was the most high-profile at the time and remained the top mass shooting for another four years, until another shooter broke that sad record.
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And here you probably ask: "And how, actually, does this incident relate to our main topic? Was Holmes taking antidepressants? Yes and no, at the time of the execution of his cruel plan , Holmes had not been taking Sertlin
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for 3 weeks. But, as the defense claims , this incident occurred entirely because of the drug. It sounds ridiculously sad, but the BBC even made a full-length documentary about it, which is called:" Antidepressants of the Colon: A Prescription for Murder. "
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This film presents the idea that if antidepressants, if they can push a person to less than rational actions, then they are dangerous. And invited experts even claim that antidepressants push people to murder and they must certainly be discontinued. And although
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at the time of the crime, Holmes was no longer under the influence of antidepressants, his defense claimed that he came up with his delusional thoughts and the plan for how he would commit his terrible deed precisely under their influence. They say that
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before taking it, he was completely He wasn't thinking about mass murder, and only Sertlin pressed the big red button . However, the reason he took his medication was somehow overlooked.
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James Holmes was a rather sociopathic individual. He experienced immense stress from interacting with people, and long before the incident, he would cope with this stress by imagining those around him dead, to make himself feel better. He then came up with the
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theory of so-called social capital, according to which the more you kill, the better person you become, the more worthy you become. However, the defense had a different opinion. They continued to argue that such thoughts hadn't entered his head before Sertlin. Be
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that as it may, one thing is certain: antidepressants don't make people kill. Even if they can remove fear and anxiety, they can't make a person dream of mass murder. A mentally ill person could remove this fear in any other way
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, for example, with alcohol or other drugs. But even then, they can't plant specific thoughts in a person's head.
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It's not the antidepressants that are to blame, but rather their incorrect prescription or the patient's level of isolation. After all, even the most mentally ill experience such intense episodes extremely rarely. And it's impossible to get inside someone's head
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and know who is capable of violence and who isn't. But it's always important to remember that an antidepressant is a medication, and any medication can have both pros and cons in the form of side effects. That's why these medications
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aren't sold over-the-counter. You know, if you're prone to suicide or impulsive behavior, be sure to tell a psychiatrist or psychotherapist about this before you're prescribed an antidepressant. This is important for your safety and the safety of your loved ones. I'd like to interrupt the
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video for a short announcement. In light of the current situation that has already developed around YouTube and continues to unfold, I'd like to ask you to support me on Boost and Patreon, but preferably on Boost, of course.
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It's safer. I've already said that YouTube is a job for me, and moreover, main job. And now making money from this job has become much harder. It depends only on you whether my channel can survive this crisis. I would also
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like everyone who knows what a VPN is to be prepared and install one, just in case. If YouTube is blocked, you will no longer be able to watch my channel.
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But at least this way we will stay in touch. By the way, I advertised a good VPN in the last video. Well, for all those who don’t know what a VPN is, don’t know how to use it, and are
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unlikely to learn, I will leave a link to my YandexDenny account. After all, if YouTube blocks you, you will lose me forever. But otherwise, it’s not difficult. Just download an extra app from Google and subscribe to me there.
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Anyway, all the links will be in the description. In the meantime, we’ll get back to the video. Now let’s rewind. Remember, I explained how depression works and the most popular theory of its origin. Well, this is related to another huge problem with
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antidepressants. They are not only capable of pushing an unstable mentality to violence or suicide, but they're not yet particularly effective.
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And, as it turns out, yes, we may not understand how antidepressants work, and those that increase serotonin levels. But really, why do we think they work at all? In some ways, it's even a silly question. According to the
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tenets of evidence-based medicine, if there's research proving effectiveness, then everything works. And this is where antidepressants enter a slippery slope. On the one hand, they're extremely popular, and there are millions of people they help. On the other hand, studies on their
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effectiveness are extremely contradictory. Back in the late 1980s, studies were conducted on the effects of Prozac on depressed patients. And some of these trials showed that, compared to placebo, antidepressants actually reduce symptoms of depression.
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But there's a slight problem with this. In general, symptoms of depression are usually assessed using questionnaires and can often not correspond to the real state of affairs, since people sometimes tend to assess their own condition. But despite this, there were
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many studies showing that antidepressants helped people. In contrast, there were also plenty of studies showing that the effectiveness of antidepressants was modest compared to placebo. According to their results, 74%of the effect of antidepressants can be achieved with a placebo. And this is
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quite alarming. In simple terms, three-quarters of the effect of an antidepressant is self-hypnosis associated with simply taking the medication. And it doesn't matter which one, the main thing is that you believe it helps you. In 1997, psychologist Irwin Kirsch decided to study the
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effect of placebo on depression in more detail. He wondered: how powerful could its effect be in relation to medications used to treat depression— that is, a disease for which there are no strict indicators of morbidity that can be directly observed. To measure
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the placebo effect, Kirsch pooled 38 studies involving patients who were given antidepressants with or without placebo. were treated at all. He then mathematically analyzed the extent to which placebo effects affected patients and found that 75%of the success rate
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of antidepressants could have been achieved by taking a placebo alone. Kirsch and his colleagues then used freedom of information laws to request data on antidepressant studies from the FDA. It turned out that the placebo effect had risen to 82%. Kirsch
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concluded that if 4 of the effects of antidepressants can be achieved simply through a placebo, this means that pharmaceutical companies have significantly overstated the effectiveness of antidepressants, in particular Prozac. Kirsch openly accused pharmaceutical companies of publishing studies that were convenient
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for them and not publishing those that were inconvenient, thereby deceiving the public for profit. But in fact, all pharmaceutical companies have problems with the quality of research, and antidepressants are no exception. It turned out that most unpublished studies were simply poorly conducted.
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And a 2010 study confirmed this conjecture. In 2010, researchers reexamined Kirsch's analysis and concluded that it was sound and well-executed, but only to a certain extent. It turned out that in patients with mild to moderate depression, inducing an antidepressant effect with
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a placebo was much easier than in patients with severe depression. It turned out that antidepressants were much more effective in severe cases than in moderate to mild depression. So , remember the most common theory of depression, that it depends on the
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amount of serotonin in the synaptic cleft, which I mentioned earlier. Yes, it turns out that our brain is much more complex than just a container of chemical fluids. Yes, we know that replenishing serotonin in the brain helps with depression in some cases,
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but only to a certain extent, and for others, it doesn't help at all. Well, not at all. How it works, who knows.
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But it doesn't work for everyone and not always, but in some cases, it does.
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That's why no one rushed to throw antidepressants into the trash. history , as soon as people learned about their ambiguity. And as often happens in science, a new theory of depression arose as a result of an entirely different line of research. In the late
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1980s, neurobiologist Fred Gage became interested in a question that initially seemed far removed from the study of depression. The question was: does the adult human brain produce new nerve cells? The thing is, at that time, there was a dogma in neuroscience that
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the adult human brain was supposedly frozen during its development and remained that way for the rest of life.
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That is, new nerve cells are not born. You've heard this phrase, surely nerve cells don't regenerate. Well, uh, a quote straight from that era. Gage and other scientists reconsidered this dogma and found that adult mice, rats, and humans are indeed capable of
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regenerating nerve cells, but not everywhere, only in certain parts of the brain. And there were two such parts: the olfactory bulb, where odors are registered, and the hippocampus, the part of the brain that controls memories, and It is also functionally
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linked to the parts of the brain that regulate emotions. Then the scientists wondered:" Could there be a connection between the emotions a person experiences and the birth of new neurons in the hippocampus? "To find out, Geish and his colleagues began
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studying mice under stress and found that when mice are chronically stressed , for example, due to sudden changes in the environment in which they live or due to the removal of bedding, such mice exhibit increased anxiety and decreased adventurism. In fact, in
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general, their symptoms are very similar to those characteristic of a person with depression. The researchers found that the number of nerve cells in the hippocampus in such mice also decreases. After observing the mice for some time, the scientists discovered
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the opposite. When mice are placed in a complete environment containing mazes, toys, and nesting materials, they become more adventurous and active.
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They explore more, learn faster, and generally seek out a variety of ways to enjoy life. In other words, placing mice in a comfortable, holistic environment works like an antidepressant. When the scientist examined the brains of these mice, he
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discovered that more neurons were being born in the hippocampus. These studies prompted another neurobiologist, René He, to pursue his own research. He was intrigued by Gage's work and, with his colleagues, began studying the connection between Prozac and nerve
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cell growth. They discovered that the birth of neurons in mice takes several weeks. They also noted that it takes about the same amount of time for antidepressants to begin working. This intrigued them even more. They wondered whether the effects of Prozac or Poxil
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might be related to cell growth in the hippocampus, rather than to serotonin itself. To uncover this connection, He began feeding his mice Prozac. Over the next few days, the mice's behavior changed. Anxiety disappeared, and the mice became more adventurous. They
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sought out food in new environments and learned faster. Then, Hen dissected these mice. He observed the miraculous end to their transformed lives and discovered that new neurons appeared in these mice exactly where he'd found them in mice kept in a comfortable
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environment. In other words, Prozac had the same effect on the mice as a comfortable, enriched environment. But when Hen selectively blocked the birth of neurons in the hippocampus of these mice, they again transformed into amorphous, depressed creatures. Hen
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realized that the positive effects of Prozac were linked to the birth of new neurons in the hippocampus. In 2011, Hen and his colleagues repeated these studies in primates diagnosed with depression. In monkeys, chronic stress causes symptoms identical to those of
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depression in humans. Under chronic stress, monkeys lose interest in pleasures and become lethargic. And when Hen measured the rate of neuron birth in the brains of depressed monkeys, it was extremely low. Then he started giving the monkeys antidepressants, and the symptoms of
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depression disappeared, and neuron production resumed. But when Hen artificially blocked cell production, Prozac became ineffective. Its effects wore off. It's a remarkable thing. Now we can look at depression in a completely different light. Could it be a disease just like Alzheimer's or
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Parkinson's? Could depression be a neurodegenerative disorder caused by cell death in the hippocampus? At first glance, of course, it seems entirely possible, but other research suggests things aren't so simple. For example, Helen Mayberg of Emary University has mapped the anatomical regions of the
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brain that are overactive or underactive in people with depression. This approach led her to one area of the brain, the subcoccoid cingulate gyrus. This is a tiny bundle of nerves located near the hippocampus. It functions as a conduit between the
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parts of the brain that control conscious thought and the parts that control emotion. And when Mayberg stimulated this area with tiny electrical impulses, patients with antidepressant-resistant depression felt significantly better. In 75%of these patients, depression either significantly eased or completely
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resolved. These changes occurred literally seconds after their brains were stimulated electrically. These devices were implanted directly into the patients 'brains, and they literally acted as pacemakers for depression. They are excellent for treating persistent depression. And when the battery dies, the patient
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slowly begins to return to their previous state. And at first glance, this seems like a revolution in depression treatment, as these data refute the established serotonin theory . But then again, it's not that simple.
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Scientists have discovered that the subcoccygeal gyrus is very rich in nerve cells sensitive to serotonin.
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Then researchers discovered that if they block the serotonin signal in the brains of depressed rats, electrical stimulation stops working. In short, the only thing that's clear is that nothing is clear. Well, that's what it might seem at first glance to someone
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unfamiliar with the subject. In fact, serious work is being done, and perhaps in the future we'll be able to understand the mechanisms underlying depression in humans in greater detail.
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After all, we know where to take the research. But that's only considering one side of the coin. There's another, no less, I would even say more important, aspect of depression—the psychological one. After all, psychotherapy, along with antidepressants, can radically change a
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person's life. Sometimes we forget that our brain is who we are. It's all our thoughts, emotions, experiences, fears, and hopes. All the processes that occur in our heads, chemically and electrically, are expressed in our actions, thoughts, and emotions.
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Sometimes people forget this and separate mental problems from physical ones. This kind of disregard can occur in patients who believe depression can be influenced by changing their thinking patterns. Some people taking antidepressants tend to view their problems from a purely pharmacological
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perspective. They say," I took a pill and it felt better, so it must be working. "What does this psychotherapy have to do with it? How can I even talk to my brain? It's simply ridiculous.
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But as it turns out, the brain is a flexible and capable thing. Yes, we can't understand exactly how talking affects serotonin levels in the intersynaptic cleft. Just as we can't say for sure that the interaction chain causes an antidepressant to improve our
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mood. But we have facts that are hard to ignore. For example, according to Williams's data from 1997, only 5%of those undergoing cognitive behavioral therapy sought follow-up treatment, compared to 39%of those in the antidepressant group. These are quite impressive figures. Indeed, in 2004,
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the National Institute for Health and Clinical Excellence, based on research, recommended psychotherapy as the primary treatment for children and adolescents in its guidelines. Only when psychotherapy was ineffective in extreme cases did it approve the use of antidepressants. The same document also
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stated that cognitive behavioral therapy is best for dysthemia, or mild depression. For moderate depression, medication should be combined with CBT.
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In general, most guidelines and recommendations agree on one thing: the combined use of all available treatment options. Clearly, pharmacological intervention is essential in treating moderate to severe depression. But most doctors will unequivocally advise that psychotherapy should be added to
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pharmacotherapy. Combining these two approaches increases the likelihood of overcoming depression. Of course, understanding how our brain works at a neurobiological level is crucial. It helps us combat depression with chemicals or electricity. But understanding how the brain works at a
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psychological level is no less important. Now I'll try to share my own story of battling depression. But before I do, I should warn you that my experience may differ from yours. I'm neither a psychologist nor a biologist; I'm not even a mediocre welder. And
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everything I say now may be unprofessional and unscientific. After all, this is simply my experience and my interpretation of events. However, if there are anyone with leading knowledge and you have something to add , please leave a comment. I'll start
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with my childhood. Some of you probably already know that by modern standards, my childhood was quite difficult. My parents divorced when I was two, and my mother raised me to be a true tyrant in a terrycloth robe. Of course, I
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exaggerated a little for fun. Her robe wasn't terrycloth, after all. But from childhood on, I truly experienced a lot of violence, both psychological and physical. My mother had an unhealthy perfectionism about cleanliness, and it was easy to get into trouble for having
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a piece of trash lying on the floor. And you didn't even have to throw the trash yourself. It was enough if you didn't notice it in time and didn't pick it up. And the chain was like this : didn't notice, got it. Next time, be
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more careful. And it was like this in everything. From washing dishes to picking grass in the garden the wrong way. And yet, I was a very hard-working and persistent child. After all, if you don't give 300%, you will suffer. But
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if you give it your all and your mother is in a bad mood, you will suffer too.
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There was never a guarantee that you won't get a slap on the wrist. And indeed, I believed I was worthless, incompetent, lazy, and stupid. At 14, I ran away. I simply up and left for the neighboring village to be with my
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father, taking only a jacket with me. Of course, life with him wasn't exactly a bed of roses. She, too, gave me a lot of trauma and suffering, but it was far better than what I experienced with my mother. As a result, all my childhood
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memories with her were filled with violence, punishment, manipulation, and insults, which instilled in me a unique way of reacting to life's adversities.
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If I find myself in some kind of unusual situation, I start to panic, worry, and become indignant. But that's not all I carried into adulthood.
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Because I was used to pushing myself beyond my limits, even as an adult I often worked excessively, 12-13 hours a day, and treated it as the norm. I set records, tried to curry favor, and so on. I was a good worker, but I didn't
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spare myself at all. After all, how can you rest? Bad people, lazybones, and slackers get to rest. They're the ones who get their mothers' scoldings. Do I need that? Well, I don't think I need it. The funny thing is, I'm used to
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experiencing stress on a constant basis . And this affected not only my emotional health, but my physical health as well. Since childhood, I've suffered from chronic gastritis, mucous membrane problems, various stomatitis, tonsillitis, and so on. And it's no
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surprise, because prolonged stress weakens the mucous membrane's immunity, which is why I've had a sore throat my entire adult life. It only takes a little cold water or forgetting to wear a ball in the winter. A little later, I
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developed stomatitis. Every scratch in my mouth turned into an ulcer and grew to enormous sizes. These ulcers sometimes took a month to heal, and it was really, really unpleasant. And I didn't even notice that anything was wrong with me. I attributed my
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heightened reaction to adversity to my personality. Like, I'm just choleric. But this same choleric person regularly drove me into desthmia. It's a unique, mild form of depression. It involves negative beliefs and an unrealistic attitude toward myself, the world, and
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people. Plus, there was constant, chronic stress, which I experienced 24/7. Of course, this greatly poisoned my life. And the full-blown depression I slipped into in 2019 now seems like a completely natural progression. No, it wasn't severe, more like a moderate
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depression. It developed over a fairly long period of time, probably over the course of a year. At first, it was my usual constant stress, then some life's troubles were added. Then, gradually, I stopped feeling pleasure in anything.
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Periodically, I was also overcome by a terrible apathy. You seem to be living an average life, both badly and not so badly, and then suddenly you wake up and you're simply unable to do anything . You just have no energy. The worst
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thing about depression isn't that you suffer visibly, but how it wears you down every day. It's a feeling of hopelessness, a sense that things will never be the same again, that you'll never again find pleasure in anything in life. Perhaps the worst thing is
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that you feel so tired and depressed that it seems the only way to rest is to die. It really does start to feel like a way out. And that's not even counting the fact that you simply lose interest in everything: the things you
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loved, the people you loved, everything . It's a pretty scary state. I decided to see a therapist at the beginning of 2020 because I had practically lost the ability to work. Every workday was so difficult that it caused me untold
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suffering. And every video that came out between the fall of 2019 and the fall of 2020 was harder than ever in my life. It got to the point where I felt an utter aversion to work. And to keep
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creating content, I resorted to some pretty brutal self-abuse, which only led me into an even deeper hole. In March 2020, I started taking amitriptyline. And the funniest thing is, as soon as I started taking it, my stomach problems went away literally
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within a week. Oh, and don't forget that from 2016 to 2020, I had huge stomach problems and stomatitis. Keep in mind that this also exacerbated my depression. After all, constant pain can't help but be depressing.
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Amitriptyline is a classic tricyclic, and compared to CS, it has many more side effects. Although, of course, this is a very individual story, as with other antidepressants. And as for me?
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First, I started eating like crazy and gained 10 kg in a couple of months.
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Second, well, just terrifying drowsiness. I could sleep 11-12 hours at night, then get another 3-4 hours of sleep during the day. Yes, at one point I was sleeping more than I was awake, but to be fair, I felt much better.
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Then I started taking Sulperit, an antipsychotic, to calm my psyche. I lasted about three months on amitriptyline, I think. Then I got tired of sleeping all the time, so I was prescribed venloflaxine. The side effects I experienced with it were that
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it was a little difficult to fall asleep, well, at night. Or at least my BID dropped. Then I signed up for psychotherapy. And that's when I really started seeing noticeable changes.
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That's when I realized I was driving myself into depression with my own beliefs. I had a lot of negative thoughts about myself, about people, about the world. I realized I was constantly feeling guilt, shame, and other bad feelings typical of
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depressives. So you understand, I felt absolutely useless about what I was doing. My blog is just another channel, like thousands of others on YouTube.
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Anyone can do my job. I was just lucky. This will all be over soon, this luck is impossible, and so on and so forth.
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I was just a walking piece of negativity. The funny thing is, I took this negativity out on those around me, criticizing them and devaluing them. I treated others the way I treated myself . So, I worked with a psychologist. We
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slowly restructured my thinking, worked on destructive attitudes. And then, you know what happened? I made a very smart and incredibly rational decision. I abruptly quit the antidepressants because I felt better and wanted to go to sleep. Then I learned that if you
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rush, you'll make people laugh, and you'll also get withdrawal symptoms. I was in a tizzy for about two weeks, nauseous, with insomnia and mood swings , and I'd listen to music at full blast and literally dance for five hours
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straight. After two weeks, well, only mild nausea remained, and after three, it was completely gone. And I started living my life as before, only a little better. I got rid of some beliefs, some negative thoughts, slightly adjusted my
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work schedule, started getting more rest, found the social circle I needed, and added a few enjoyable activities to my life. A big achievement for me was learning to relax without feeling guilty about it. Now I can sit down and
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just watch a TV series and feel absolutely wonderful. But around October 2021, I finally realized I needed antidepressants again. Yes, I've become much more in control of my emotions, and I've gotten rid of many negative attitudes and thoughts. But
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the anxiety, the constant chronic anxiety, hasn't gone away. I went to my therapist, and they prescribed me a new-generation scitalopram. And you know what? It seems to have completely eliminated my anxiety. The chronic anxiety that had plagued me my entire
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life, which I thought was part of my neurotic nature, disappeared. For perhaps the first time in my life, I felt completely healthy and calm. I was able to completely rid myself of that oppressive feeling of anxiety that had
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consumed me for 29 years straight. And for the first time in many years, I can say that I'm happier than I've ever been. This, of course, isn't the limit of my dreams. I still have a long way to go in terms of self-reflection and
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work with a psychologist. But the progress I'm making now makes me very happy. And the more I immerse myself in psychology, the easier my life becomes.
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Funny how it works. There are people who are initially healthy, for whom everything is fine and quite calm, and then there are people like me, who are on a ton of medications and make a huge effort simply to live a normal life and
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be happy, as they say, through thorns to the stars. You know, this video, and especially the story at the end, were not easy for me. Perhaps because I said ," I'll fight with my mother. "But I think I did the right thing by telling
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you my story with all the preamble. After all, so many years have passed, I have let go of my resentment towards my mother. After all, parents don't choose . If I had lived a different life, perhaps I would be a happier and
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healthier person. But I am who I am, and my entire life experience has made me this way. Who knows, maybe if I hadn't had such an extreme childhood, maybe so much of this would not have happened, and you would have nothing to
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watch now. I wish I could end this video somehow lyrically, but I think simply wishing you good health would be much better. Take care of yourself, and bye. M.
Topics:depressionantidepressantsmental healthpsychotherapystigmaanxietytherapymental illnesstreatment accessLOONY
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