Speaker A
[laughter] [laughter] Hey, [screaming] welcome to Renovation Fails by two of the handiest people ever.
Toni and Ryan humorously explore renovation fails, sharing funny mishaps, design debates, and DIY disasters in this entertaining video.
Ask about this video. Answers come from its transcript only — with the timestamp, so you can check them.
Generated from the transcript and can be wrong — check the timestamp.
Key Takeaways
- Renovations often involve unexpected problems and hidden issues like mold or extra layers of tile.
- Good planning and foresight are crucial to avoid costly or frustrating mistakes.
- DIY projects can be fun but also prone to humorous fails and mishaps.
- Communication and compromise are important when making design decisions in renovations.
- Even small mistakes, like poor painting technique or misplaced fixtures, can impact the final result.
What the video covers
- Toni and Ryan introduce themselves as handy people sharing renovation fails with humor and laughter.
- They discuss common renovation challenges like cracked tiles, awkward kitchen layouts, and design disagreements.
- The hosts share personal renovation stories, including unexpected discoveries like multiple hidden bathrooms and black mold.
- They highlight funny and frustrating moments such as removing door handles, misplaced windows, and poorly planned renovations.
- The video includes lighthearted banter about painting mishaps, tools, and the realities of DIY home improvement.
- Toni and Ryan debate renovation ideas, balancing cost and style, such as vaulting ceilings versus marble finishes.
- They reflect on the unpredictability of renovations and the importance of planning ahead.
- The hosts respond to a viewer story about a painting fail done as a surprise for parents.
- The video mixes humor with practical observations about home renovation mistakes and lessons learned.
- Overall, the video is a comedic take on the trials and errors of renovating homes.
Chapters
Full Transcript — Download SRT & Markdown
Speaker A
Look at Ryan's outfit. He's ready to renovate a house. I am a builder. Yeah.
Speaker A
And Tony's actually built stuff. Have I? You've painted the door frames. I did paint a door frame. Just the one.
Speaker A
But thank you. Well, I think craft is like a type of renovating 'cause you're renovating paper into new things.
Speaker A
That's really beautiful. Thank you. You're welcome. I'm going to suck your dick in that onesie.
Speaker A
It's actually really hard to suck it in a onesie, though. Can you just open the bottom? Oh, hang on. Is there a zip at the bottom?
Speaker A
Oh, I take back what I said. Oh, [laughter] that couldn't be simpler. It's easier than it's easy to suck in a onesie. Unveiling your new kitchen to discover this.
Speaker A
Oh, is that cracked? Oh, I would scream. [music] [laughter] It's like when you try and go at IKEA.
Speaker A
Yeah. [laughter] The worst. Everyone's looking at you. Doesn't flush that well. This is the first for me. So, the [music] dishwasher's right there. Let me go to the living room. You know, there's a little closet here. And guess where
Speaker A
the dishwasher goes, too. [laughter] I'm the wife and I think we should vault the ceilings and add a skylight for a ton of natural light.
Speaker A
I'm the husband and I think that's going to be kind of expensive. I'm thinking we should do marble [laughter] like up the shower, on the floors, all over the place.
Speaker A
I think we should just do normal. I think we should do built-in storage on this whole back wall. Great. She's right. She's 1,000% right.
Speaker A
Well, they're both right. It is going to be expensive, but worth it. But worth it.
Speaker A
What? [laughter] That was upsetting. That last one like a painted caterpillar. Like a dried [ __ ] sock.
Speaker A
Just have to crack it back into place. Yeah, if you haven't listened to the pod from yesterday, that's for you. Thanks, Luna.
Speaker A
[laughter] [laughter] Oh, have you ever like renovated like that? Like knocked walls down and [ __ ] Apparently, it's [ __ ] awesome.
Speaker A
It's really fun. Yeah, I bet. Yeah. My parents renovated a bunch of houses when like I was a kid and Rena.
Speaker A
Yeah. I tell you the closest I've ever come to heroin. Aside from when you cut wrapping paper at Christmas and the [ __ ] scissors. Oh, that actually gives me a funny puss. But something else that's like that is getting like a barbecue
Speaker A
scraper or a paint scraper. Getting that under like a little bit of wallpaper or a little bit of paint.
Speaker A
Just the whole thing. [laughter] [laughter] [laughter] [laughter] That might be the funniest video I've ever seen.
Speaker A
Thought taking the door handle off would be helpful. [laughter] Uh, I didn't think that would be locked in here.
Speaker A
Wait, seriously? No. [music] No, we're not. You know how some people think like three steps ahead? I'm regularly like two behind and that is something I would do. I'd be like, "Oh, well, I'll take that off 'cause immediately that will help
Speaker A
me, but I wouldn't think about the future." What do you foresee happening in the future?
Speaker A
Do you know what? I don't know if you're asking for a deep answer like this, but the future is none of my business.
Speaker A
[laughter] I want to know who was like, "Yeah, yeah, let's just put let's just put a window into the family room from the toilet." So, you know, when I'm down here taking a [ __ ] and I run out of
Speaker A
toilet paper, I can just yell down and say, "Hey, throw me up some toilet paper." Everybody in the whole house, he's standing there taking a piss, facing the stairs, like I'm taking a piss. I'm like, "Oh,
Speaker A
hey Tone. Will you do that anyway?" Perfect. Just oh my god. Isn't it great?
Speaker A
Imagine though if you were the neighbors throwing the [ __ ] party and there's some person out there with the drill.
Speaker A
When we had people stay over after Christmas in July, the next morning one of the neighbors was like, "Yeah, I will angle grind this steel and make the new [ __ ] back shed or whatever the [ __ ] he was doing."
Speaker A
And we're all like a little bit dusty, slightly hung over. Yeah. A it's a templ. [screaming] You live on a swamp. You like Shrek. Get out of my swamp. [laughter] [music] Well, they're just white.
Speaker A
Not the same color. No. Yeah. [ __ ] Paint it yellow. So true. Like this is a bit more fun, isn't it?
Speaker A
We just went and bought paint from Bunnings the other day. And um they often don't say anything when you're buying. You're just like, "Can I get this color?" And they go, "Yeah, whatever." And I handed the thing to the
Speaker A
guy and he goes, "Nice choice. I'm married." Okay. Don't know what the [ __ ] you're doing.
Speaker A
You're telling me you don't What is this? What? The water was going down the step from out of the What is the point of this?
Speaker A
Oh, what is this? [snorts] What is this? [groaning and screaming] That looks like a prison cell where they attach electrodes.
Speaker A
It looks like where they filmed Saw. Yeah. I took the tiles off our leaking shower and look what I found behind. A whole another layer of tile. And I had to remove the wood 'cause as you can see
Speaker A
they're covered in black mold. What the [ __ ] Wait, what is that? What the hell? It's a whole shower just casually sitting there behind our actual shower. And then there's another hole. So I looked in there and what can I see? A mirror and
Speaker A
some more tile. So, we've got mirror and tile behind a shower and tile behind what was a shower and tile.
Speaker A
So, you got three bathrooms. [laughter] What? Imagine how much time it would take to clean.
Speaker A
Well, that's why they've covered it up. Oh, the admins. We got [laughter] I can't be bothered.
Speaker A
Close those off. Yeah. To decommission those ones. [music] Oh. Oh, I didn't like that.
Speaker A
What was she doing in the first trying to do? Yeah, just shoving [ __ ] up there.
Speaker A
What was the goal there? Why was he up there and she stapled the like screwed that to the roof?
Speaker A
It's like, "Oh, we don't need an attic anymore." While he was up there, would she have AirPods in? Forgot that he'd gone up there.
Speaker A
But even there was stuff in between. It was just a mess. Do you reckon that would take a while to like I'm trusting my life with you. I sleep in a bed with you.
Speaker A
Yeah. And you're capable of accidentally drilling me into an attic. Like you think that that would make you be like, "Oh, can I trust this person?" Yeah. They've got the log into my bank details.
Speaker A
Absolutely fantastic. Really, thank you. Really nice. Thanks very much. Lovely. I didn't know that roofs had plaster on them.
Speaker A
Take it back. I did. I joking. I just looked up and I was like, "What?" Oh, well, ours don't. Oh, it does open the kitchen.
Speaker A
Is that plaster or paint? Well, you paint the plaster. [laughter] Do you know what I mean? I know what you mean. I know what you're asking.
Speaker A
So, look at the wall, the roof there. Yeah. What's that? Paint. Yeah, they you paint the plaster.
Speaker A
Oh, so like a wall. M. What's that then? Is giprock plaster slay. Okay. Okay, guys. I really, really need your help with something because I [ __ ] up.
Speaker A
I [ __ ] up so I [ __ ] I [ __ ] up really really bad.
Speaker A
I am living with my parents because my husband recently left me and I've been staying here with my 2 and 1 half-year-old and they have been amazing. They're on holiday at the moment and I wanted to do something to
Speaker A
surprise them to say thank you for being so incredible. Um they're in the process of redecorating the house and they bought the paint for their bedroom and I was like you know what I am going to paint that for them. They're going to
Speaker A
come from from holiday. That is very lovely. Beautifully painted bedroom. So, I've painted Oh, great.
Speaker A
this. Doesn't it look amazing? We love it. Until you start to look at it closely.
Speaker A
I've only done one wall because this wall took me for hours. I also very quickly realized that I should have used masking tape.
Speaker A
Oh, sweetheart. Because her lines are not straight. No, that's why you just fix them up with white paint after.
Speaker A
Also, I'm hoping this one's not too much of a problem because they are going to be getting carpet in here.
Speaker A
But in moving the heavy furniture, look
Speaker A
Definitely wait till they're back. Do I wait until they come home and be like, "Haha, haha, hi, hi. Look at the [ __ ] Make sure your daughter's left you.
Speaker A
Fourth option. Oh my god, someone's broken in [laughter] and moved. Fifth option. Yep. Take the kid and go back to the husband.
Speaker A
[laughter] No. Sixth option. Kill the parents when they arrive in the driveway. They can't be disappointed by a wall they don't see.
Speaker A
What the [ __ ] It's full of rubbish. That's so [ __ ] up.
Speaker A
What the hell? Yeah. So, my issue here is how did he know it was there?
Speaker A
Well, two issues. Yeah. How did he How did he know it was there? Inside job.
Speaker A
Well, it was inside the wall. [laughter] But more importantly, they got plaster on the roof there.
Speaker A
[snorts] I think that I thought, and I know this sounds really stupid cuz you know how stuff's just places, but I thought that roof was just roof.
Speaker A
I didn't know it was plaster. I just thought it was roof. What do you think wall is?
Speaker A
Wall? I don't know. But you know how in the video with the plaster over the ceiling, it just looked like it was another color. So, is that just paint?
Speaker A
But you paint plaster. Plaster is paintable. Oh, sure. Got you. Yeah. So, if you're in a white room, Yeah.
Speaker A
that's not white paint. That's white plaster. No, it' be painted. Well, it needs to make up to mine.
Speaker A
So, with a car, your car like the outside of it, the metal Yeah. is plaster. [laughter] Do we want this video? [laughter] I reckon I could renovate an RV.
Speaker A
Do you want a van and then you can be a van life summer girl?
Speaker A
I have. You can drive up north during the winter. I Oh, I would love that. I've said to Tob, should we get like a camper trailer or a caravan or something? I would. I bet you have. I would love that.
Speaker A
You want me to ste you? OH, [laughter] you ready for me video? Is that for children? I I hope so.
Speaker A
Do you reckon? Or like for washing a dog? Imagine if Pippa had her own little bath.
Speaker A
We actually saw this thing where it's like in the laundry kind. The dogs come outside when they're muddy.
Speaker A
I've seen that. And they and you kind of clip them in and it's like a little dog wash in the house.
Speaker A
But they're hell chic. They're like tiled and beautiful. They're stunning. Would there be room for that in your RV?
Speaker A
No, probably not. But Pippa's only small, so we'll just pop her in a little Tupperware container and give her a wash. [laughter] Shake her half water. Squeeze the detergent.
Speaker A
Give her [laughter] Give her a shake. Her own little washing machine. Oh, love you.
Speaker A
I hope you're feeling as inspired as we are. Let's DIY. Yeah. Freeze frame. Yeah.
Speaker A
Love you. Bye.
Topics:renovation failsDIY home improvementfunny renovation storieshome renovation mistakesToni and Ryankitchen failspainting failshome remodelingconstruction humorrenovation tips
