Speaker A
Is when you take a step back, is there anything else you see in this picture? I mean, you didn't have to say that.
Try Not to Laugh at New Zealand fails with Toni and Ryan's humorous commentary and local culture insights.
Ask about this video. Answers come from its transcript only — with the timestamp, so you can check them.
Generated from the transcript and can be wrong — check the timestamp.
Key Takeaways
- New Zealand culture and humor are unique and often self-deprecating.
- Local slang and customs, such as blowing on pies and the importance of sausage size, are key comedic elements.
- Police 10-7 is a popular source of humor reflecting New Zealand society.
- Toni and Ryan engage their audience through Patreon and interactive content.
- The video mixes observational humor with genuine affection for New Zealand.
What the video covers
- Toni and Ryan react to various funny New Zealand clips and cultural quirks.
- The video features humorous banter about New Zealand slang, police interactions, and local customs.
- Includes jokes about New Zealanders' directness and unique social behaviors.
- Discussion of New Zealand TV shows like Police 10-7 and local humor around pies and community safety.
- Mentions Maori language elements and cultural references.
- Highlights the duo’s Patreon sponsorship and community engagement.
- Includes lighthearted commentary on everyday New Zealand life, such as weather, food, and social interactions.
- Features playful challenges like counting 'cheers' and jokes about local infrastructure.
- The video blends observational humor with personal anecdotes and local slang explanations.
- Overall, it celebrates New Zealand culture with a comedic and affectionate tone.
Chapters
- 00:00Introduction and Picture Commentary
- 00:21Humorous Banter and Jokes
- 00:56Cultural Differences in Dating
- 01:32New Zealand Humor and Quotes
- 02:17Celebrating New Zealand Life
- 02:29Casual Conversations and Local Customs
- 02:49Police 10-7 and Pie Blowing Tradition
- 04:00Patreon Sponsorship and Community
- 07:27Maori Language and Local Slang
- 08:32Everyday Life and Humor Wrap-up
Full Transcript — Download SRT & Markdown
Speaker A
It's about as subtle as a sledgehammer. Clinton on a good day. Look at this.
Speaker A
Whoa. It's like the wind's picking up though, wait. Oh. Did you [laughter] This box is small. Haha, look at you.
Speaker A
And he just follows it up with what? Small like your dickie. [laughter] That is [ __ ] for Clark. He has two.
Speaker A
But it is. We're just having a bit of an earthquake here, Ryan. Quite a, quite a decent shake here. But, um, if you see things moving behind me, just a little earthquake, just to keep you on your toes.
Speaker A
What couldn't she do? Honestly. Oh, Bean. Yeah, Bean. Bean. Bean. Bean. [laughter] Bean. Bean.
Speaker A
Charles, do your bean. Bean. Oh, terrible. In America, I would watch dudes walk up to a woman and be like, "Hey girl, I think you're beautiful. I don't really know what kind of situation you're in right now. I would love to explore
Speaker A
whatever you're open to." Yo, if you walked up to a girl in New Zealand [laughter] if you walked up to a girl in New Zealand and said that [ __ ] she'd be like "Ooh." [laughter] Ooh.
Speaker A
Ooh. Be like, "Ooh." And then you would hear laughter down the street. [laughter] I do love a Kiwi ooh ah ooh.
Speaker A
Ooh. But it's not, uh, ooh. Ooh. Ooh. Ooh. New Zealanders care about is the size of the sausage, not how it's delivered. And how we will deliver it is as the speaker, it's been a year of bad quotes for me.
Speaker A
People think Australia is not real. Check out [ __ ] New Zealand. [laughter] Like that is a fairy tale. Like what is happening?
Speaker A
What are they doing? They're rowing. To row. [laughter] The thing about a best of New Zealand feels redundant 'cause all of it's [ __ ] awesome.
Speaker A
All of New Zealand is awesome. It's the best. All right, you got a fire going, do you?
Speaker A
Yeah, mate. It's a bit chilly. All right. Looks like it's been snowing. I tell you what, it's feeling warm.
Speaker A
Yes. It's a long way to walk out there, wouldn't it? Yeah, it's not close.
Speaker A
I tell you what, you wouldn't get up there sitting still. I tell you what, this stubbie isn't going to drink itself, mate.
Speaker A
[laughter] Yes. Bloody good batch, these. Oh, well, mate. I'll see you when I'm looking at you.
Speaker A
Yep. [laughter] Yep. Yep. Yeah, there's a skull. What do you have the skull for?
Speaker A
For when I bake some muffins too. [laughter] I love the Key Way Police 10-7 or Z Squad Police 10-7.
Speaker A
Yeah. It is so funny. Show on Earth. Is the clip? I Let's Okay, you make one prediction and I'll make one prediction.
Speaker A
My very favorite New Zealand TV clip is the one where the gay guy comes over and he's like, "Oh my god, are you filming Police 10-7? Oh my god, um should I pretend I've got meth on me or
Speaker A
something?" 'Cause he's like, "Is this on TV?" My favorite is you must blow on the pie.
Speaker A
What's that? I don't think I've seen that. From Police 10-7. Oh. 3:00 in the morning, you're buying a pie from a BP station, what must you always do?
Speaker A
3:00 in the morning, that pie has been in the warming drawer for probably about 12 hours. It'll be thermonuclear.
Speaker A
You must always blow on the pie. Always blow on the pie. Save our communities together.
Speaker A
It'll be thermonuclear. It's been in the pie warmer all day. Thermonuclear is hilarious as well.
Speaker A
It's keeping communities safe together. [laughter] I'm between James and Phoebe really heating up now, things. This is the [ __ ] news.
Speaker A
[laughter] This is the [ __ ] library. Well, this is the [ __ ] news, bro.
Speaker A
Nothing tops the [ __ ] news, bro. The game between James and Phoebe really heating up now, things. This is the [ __ ] news.
Speaker A
[screaming] This is the [ __ ] news, bro. What do you reckon? Say if I pulled a bag of meth out [laughter] If I pulled a bag of sugar out, would you put me on TV?
Speaker A
Hi. [laughter] Are you playing 10-7? Hi. [screaming] Getting arrested for drunk driving or something?
Speaker A
What's this guy? Can you arrest me? No, I can't. What if I hit you?
Speaker A
No, it's a bad idea. It's a bad idea. I won't do it. You're pretty scary.
Speaker A
You've got nice eyes, though. Police of New Zealand are comfortable with the homosexual population. That's [laughter] good. That's good.
Speaker A
Oh, hi. If you put me on this, I honestly give you a guppy. Thank you, girl. Oh my god.
Speaker A
I think they're from Auckland. [laughter] Such a raid up there. Call that Auckland. [laughter] The New Zealand police are comfortable with the homosexual population.
Speaker A
[laughter] If you put me on TV, I'll give you a guppy. I will give you a guppy.
Speaker A
On TV, I'll give you a guppy. [laughter] That is our favorite video of all [ __ ] time.
Speaker A
Today's YouTube video is sponsored by Tony and Ryan's Patreon. You can go on your desktop to patreon.com/tonyandryan.
Speaker A
It's also sponsored by a joke I thought of in the car and I love jokes.
Speaker A
Now that you know when you're like, "Huh!" And then the moment comes and you go no, back it in. I believe in you so hard.
Speaker A
Here's what's inside of Patreon. Can you read these, Tony? At the top of the list, weekly BTS videos and vlogs.
Speaker A
Monthly live streams. Champion Tapper group chat where all of the Tappers can talk to each other.
Speaker A
Skip this one. What's here? Okay. Name shouted out in all the apps. Yep. And the names of all Patreon Tappers scroll across under the video episodes.
Speaker A
Now, what is number four? Tony replies to every DM. Yep. So, congratulations to these are real Tappers. So, Tony will reply to Diana Malizia. Hi Diana, I'll be waiting for your message. Dana McCracken, Danny McCracken, I'll reply to you as well.
Speaker A
Danielle McNab, Danielle Maniti, Daryl McCrae, David McKean, Dee McCormack, Dan McLean, Debbie and Max.
Speaker A
You, I don't know about that one. Dennis McKenzie, Diane Madaditwila, and Dion McGrail. I look forward to your DMs and I'll be replying.
Speaker A
So, if you're a DM, Tony will reply to you. All other initials, see you in the group chat.
Speaker A
I'm a DM, Dunmall. Love you. I left my scooter outside the dairy. Nick minute.
Speaker A
[laughter] That's actually footage of Ryan outside the Vic Gardens. [laughter] Nick minute. I didn't know Nick minute came from New Zealand.
Speaker A
Neither. Not me either. Amazing. [ __ ] up my bro? Ah, [ __ ] up to my bro.
Speaker A
[ __ ] where you been? I haven't seen you in a couple days. Nah, [ __ ] all my bro.
Speaker A
[ __ ] I stuck down the line now. I had to gank a hottie and boost it all the way back up to Oaxac. I was fanging it up the gorge, G. Straight up. Ah, [ __ ] true.
Speaker A
Even though my tattings were on, I couldn't understand that. That is Maori for ears. And my puku? That's Maori for tummy.
Speaker A
Puku, we say puku at home and Maybelle has a little puku. Well, I've said it to Maybelle before as well and she like knew what I meant and Bridget was like, "Thank you for saying that." [laughter] Is it time for me to sing the Maori
Speaker A
alphabet? Ladies and gentlemen, Toni Lodge singing the Maori alphabet. Slide it. I can't believe I still remember that. I haven't done that in ages.
Speaker A
Was amazing. I love New Zealand. Oh, it's a bit bloody chilly today. Yeah, it's not warm.
Speaker A
Oh, nice. What does it taste like? Well, you know what I'm saying? Yeah, you know what? It should taste nothing like that. Hey, you want a chip? Oh, you know I don't want your ghost chips, bro.
Speaker A
What? Oh, sorry. Now you're a chip. Yeah, I'll take one. Thanks. Cheers. Cheers. How many times do you reckon we can say cheers this weekend?
Speaker A
Um, I say it at home all the time, so I could probably say it quite a lot.
Speaker A
I reckon I can get 300 away. 300 cheers? This weekend. Cheers. Should I count them?
Speaker A
Yes. Get ready for the shittest montage you've ever seen. [laughter] Coming this weekend on my channel.
Speaker A
On. Hang on. Hang on. Hang on. So, it's gone from doing it to counting them to filming it as well.
Speaker A
I'm just letting you know that sounds like a whole lot of jobs. All right, you see this perfectly smooth tar sealed road? I reckon we rip the whole thing up for no reason and then take a year to replace it.
Speaker A
What about that big pothole? We've been getting heaps of complaints about it. Nah, we'll just chuck some gravel on it.
Speaker A
She'll be right. Well, shouldn't we let the public know to expect delays so
Speaker A
No, no, no. The public can get [ __ ] Yeah, keep her coming. Keep her coming.
Speaker A
What's in the truck? It's another thousand cones we need to put around that pothole over there.
Speaker A
Right up I don't know if it the same people are doing it in [ __ ] Melbourne.
Speaker A
We have them over here, too. Cross the ditch. What are you doing this [music] weekend?
Speaker A
I'm putting up a retaining wall. Do it yourself. Nah, I'm going to get some blokes in.
Speaker A
Oh, come on, mate. [music] Do it yourself. She's pretty big job. You'll be right.
Speaker A
You reckon? [music] We can knock it over in half a day. Yeah. Get a couple of mates round.
Speaker A
Hey, John, mate. Huh? Give us a hand with the job, Sarah, mate. Mate, you're dreaming.
Speaker A
What [music] is this? No surprise there. [laughter] Knock it over in half a day.
Speaker A
over in half a Get a couple of mates round. How good is that ad?
Speaker A
I've never seen that before. That is so sick. The kids are great. It's so good, isn't it?
Speaker A
I'm going to try and jump the fence. I'm not sure why. No, just jump and jump back cuz it's it's like a legal [laughter] Maddie there?
Speaker A
Yeah. It's edgy. Quick, off you go. Quick quick quick. And then jump back. So, you're jumping the fence.
Speaker A
He's over. [laughter] HE'S OVER. RUN UP, OH MY GOD. GET BACK. THAT'S FANTASTIC, MADDIE. [laughter] You had a conversation with her?
Speaker A
happen again. Yeah. Anyway, it It won't happen again. Sorry? It's a silly thing to do.
Speaker A
Yeah, I know. Yeah. Sorry about that. Paul Henry, [laughter] you're going to get me arrested.
Speaker A
Poor Maddie. Getting told off. And I And that would be me, as well. Like I'd do it and be like [laughter] And then be like, "I'm so sorry." sorry. I was I was just being silly.
Speaker A
else made me do it. Oh, all the broken feet. That is so funny. Oh, imagine breaking your foot overseas.
Speaker A
Yeah, imagine having to get pushed around by people that work at the airport in that wheelchair cuz you can't get around. That sounds awful. Quite humbling. Yeah.
Speaker A
And Charles had like they're quite fast. So, Charles had to like run to keep up with the person pushing him in the wheelchair.
Speaker A
Just rolling you straight out the country. And but also like they've got jobs to do, you know, they're busy. And the LA airport is very big. So, getting from one end to the other is a quite stressful situation. Very busy, lots of
Speaker A
people around, they're busy. They push you so fast and they don't really mind if your broken foot knocks into stuff.
Speaker A
They don't really mind cuz nothing will slow them down. No. Kev, where the [ __ ] hell is the [ __ ] [laughter] Oh, I could use the [ __ ] for the [ __ ] forest lords. It
Speaker A
doesn't matter. [laughter] I need a [ __ ] forest lords. [laughter] WHAT WOULD YOU DO WITH YOUR $10,000?
Speaker A
I WOULD DOGS, I don't know. Bad idea. All right, what would you spend your 10 grand on?
Speaker A
Drugs. [laughter] Alcohol. Nah, um Yeah drugs. [laughter] Get a couple of dots down the servo. If you get a pie is a down the servo.
Speaker A
If you get a pie Oh, blow on it. That is thermonuclear. Saving to get a pie.
Speaker A
off me tongue OR SOMETHING? [laughter] LOVE YOU. KEV, BYE.
Topics:New Zealandfailstry not to laughToni and RyanNew Zealand slangPolice 10-7Maori languagecomedyYouTube humorPatreon
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