Reality of KBC Kid | Why are Kids becoming Arrogant? | Dhruv Rathee

Exploring why kids today are perceived as arrogant, the Kids These Days effect, and modern parenting challenges in India.

Key Takeaways

The perception that kids today are worse is a recurring generational bias, not a new phenomenon.
Children’s apparent arrogance often stems from normal developmental stages and environmental factors.
Overindulgence and parental overvaluation contribute significantly to entitlement and bad behavior.
Social isolation during COVID-19 has exacerbated behavioral issues among children.
Effective parenting involves setting clear boundaries, avoiding corporal punishment, and fostering understanding.

What the video covers

The video discusses the viral incident of a 10-year-old boy on Kaun Banega Crorepati being called arrogant.
It introduces the 'Kids These Days' effect, a psychological bias where every generation views the next as worse behaved.
Historical evidence shows complaints about children's behavior date back thousands of years.
Developmental psychology explains children overestimate their knowledge, which can appear as arrogance.
Modern family structures like the 'Six-Pocket Syndrome' lead to over-coddling and entitlement in children.
Parental overvaluation and excessive praise can foster narcissistic traits and rude behavior.
Many Indian parents struggle to discipline and say 'no' to their children, impacting behavior negatively.
Children raised in joint families tend to have better social and emotional development than those in nuclear families.
The COVID-19 pandemic and social isolation worsened behavioral problems due to lack of peer interaction.
Corporal punishment is criticized as it teaches aggression rather than self-control and understanding.

Chapters

What is the 'Kids These Days' effect mentioned in the video?

It is a psychological bias where every generation believes that the younger generation is less respectful, less disciplined, and worse behaved than their own generation, a phenomenon documented throughout history.

Why do children sometimes appear arrogant or disrespectful according to the video?

Children often overestimate their knowledge and abilities due to normal developmental stages, and when combined with over-coddling, parental overvaluation, and lack of discipline, this can appear as arrogance.

How did the COVID-19 pandemic affect children's behavior?

The pandemic caused social isolation and reduced peer interaction, which are crucial for social skill development, leading to increased behavioral problems and aggression among children when schools reopened.

Full Transcript — Download SRT & Markdown

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"Kids these days aren't like the ones before." "They're more disrespectful." "This new generation is worthless." "Sir, is this even worth asking?" "You dropped it!" "You pick it up." "The immediate reaction of many people watching such videos is," "slap them, hit them with belts."

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"Because children used to be hit before," "they behaved properly." "Now, because they aren't hit," "they're spoiled brats." "Do you know why this happens?" "Because the exact behaviour you shouldn't teach kids," "you end up teaching them, through corporal punishment."

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Hello friends! A 10-year-old boy appeared on the show Kaun Banega Crorepati. He is going viral on social media.

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"I know the rules, don't start explaining those to me." "Okay." Now, it gets difficult for even adults to handle being viral on social media, and he is just a 5th grader.

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"Sir, is this even worth asking?" -"Should we lock it?" -"Yes! Lock it!" "Put four locks on it if you want to," "but lock it up." The way he talked to host Amitabh Bachchan, people started trolling the child, calling him disrespectful and arrogant.

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Some people started blaming his parents for being incapable of teaching their child humility, patience, and manners, and letting them become rude and overconfident.

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This set off a new debate. Are there increasing behavioural problems among the new generation of Indian children?

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Has the new generation become ruder than the generations before? Friends, it's important to understand an important psychological phenomenon here.

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It repeats in every generation. A well-documented bias in social psychology. The Kids These Days Effect.

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You must have often heard people say that kids these days aren't like kids used to be before.

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"They are becoming ruder." "This new generation is useless." "Kids these days are so lazy," "they don't appreciate what they have," "kids these days don't know how to work hard," "kids these days don't even know what they want." While in truth, researchers have found that

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every generation of adults feel that "kids these days" are less respectful, less intelligent, and less disciplined than the kids of their generation.

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This is a memory illusion in which people idealise their past and remember their childhood as a golden age.

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They believe that they were all well behaved. "When I was of your age, I used to study under the light of an incense stick, and scored 105 out of 100.

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You should be ashamed." But the truth is that their parents complained the same about them.

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And their grandparents complained about their children. Even if you go back 100 or 1,000 years, thousands of years-old books mention this too, how the parents of the time believed that their children were spoiled brats.

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I'm not kidding, in ancient Greece, around 700 BC, an author wrote that the new generation of kids is not respecting their ageing parents as before.

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Aristotle had written something similar too. And around the 1750s, an English writer, Samuel Johnson, had identified this pattern.

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He wrote, "Every old man complains of the insolence of the rising generation." This "Kids These Days" effect is a well-documented phenomenon in social science.

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But despite acknowledging this, it won't be right to say that the generation today is growing up perfectly.

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That there are no problems at all. It's true that a lot of kids behave terribly these days.

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They are rude and disrespectful. For example, take a look at this video that went viral on Instagram.

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"You dropped it! You pick it up. Throw it in the bin. Why not? But you dropped it.

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It's not okay!" A woman saw a child littering, so she tells him to pick it up, he refuses.

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Then, the child's friend joins them and litters right in front of her. Obviously, this video will shock any person.

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Why are these young children behaving so? Similarly, when that 10-year-old child on the show KBC talked to Amitabh Bachchan rudely, it begs the question.

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Why did he do so? There are several reasons for these wrong behaviours. The first issue is developmental psychology.

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An analysis of more than 40 research papers published in the Child Development Journal revealed that young children often overestimate their level of knowledge; they do not have the ability to correctly gauge their knowledge and abilities.

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The ability to reasonably gauge how much they know and the skills they possess develops gradually among kids after their elementary years.

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This is why a 10-year-old may genuinely feel that he knows everything. Whereas, in reality, they hardly know anything.

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This is a normal developmental bias. But under pressure, it can look like arrogance. Over the last few years, there have been unprecedented changes at society level.

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There are no such single-child families, with up to six adults coddling one child. Two parents, two paternal grandparents, and two maternal grandparents.

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The media calls this the Six-Pocket Syndrome. It gained popularity in China first, but now it can be seen in Indian urban areas too.

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Parents who decide to have only one child, just like their parents did. In such a situation, six people are always ready to fulfil the demands of this one child.

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Such children often get so much attention that they begin to feel as if the entire world revolves around them.

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This attention gradually turns into entitlement, and such children literally feel that they are little princes and princesses.

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Their wishes are fulfilled immediately. They get everything they want. This can help foster bad behaviour.

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They got everything they wanted when they were younger, but later, when they step out into the real world, they are shocked to find that the world doesn't revolve around them.

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They can't keep getting everything they want, so they begin getting arrogant. The third reason is closely connected to this.

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Parental overvaluation. When parents repeatedly tell their children that they are more special than others, that they are extraordinary, then the child feels more entitled.

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This can develop into a narcissistic personality later in life. While it is good to make children feel special, if this is done excessively, it impacts the child's behaviour negatively.

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This sends a message to the kids that if they are smart and talented, it's okay to have a nasty attitude and be rude.

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"No one can defeat me, I am the best." And then comes, perhaps, the greatest problem with modern Indian parenting.

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Being afraid to say 'No' to kids. Modern Indian parents have literally stopped saying no.

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In 2022, an online poll on the website Tweak India found that 93% of Indian parents admit to struggling with disciplining their children.

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The culture of nuclear families is quite closely related to this. Earlier, children grew up in joint families.

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Children got the attention they required, and adults would also monitor their behaviour. There were more people to teach them respect and etiquette.

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Many research papers show that children growing up in joint families have fewer behavioural problems than those who grew up in nuclear families.

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They show better social and emotional development. After all this, came another reason, 5 years ago.

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The COVID pandemic. This is a fact that because of the Covid pandemic, the behavioural problems among children have increased a lot.

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Not only in India, globally, at every place that went through harsh lockdowns, when the schools reopened, the teachers were shocked to see the children.

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The teachers noticed that even the children who were well-behaved before the pandemic were behaving aggressively and in a less respectful manner.

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The biggest reason for this is social isolation. A very important part of the development of children is interacting with other children.

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This is where the children get to learn valuable social skills. But because of Covid, children stayed at home for a year.

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Glued to their screens. Social interaction was almost at zero. It had a devastating impact.

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The harmful impact of using screens is so unbelievable that I made a separate video on it.

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If you haven't seen it.

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Finally, kids learn from their parents. Kids behave the way their parents behave. This video which went viral on Instagram, kids throwing trash in front of foreigners, this was the reason behind this specific video.

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Children behave like this only when they see their parents doing so. These children must have seen their parents littering the roads countless times.

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This is why they are littering so casually. And this is why when that woman told them to pick up the trash they threw, "You pick it up, it's not okay." "No." "It's not okay, you pick it up." The children get shocked.

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They don't understand what they are being told to do. No one else would have told them to do so.

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Friends, it's also concerning that, a lot of people react to such videos by saying that these children should be slapped or hit with a belt.

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I am not kidding, after this KBC video went viral, many such reels went viral on social media.

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Look at this, around 250,000 people liked it. It's talking about hitting such disrespectful children.

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This reel calls it a disease, with the only treatment being a belt. In our country, a large section of people believe that earlier, children behaved because they were being hit at home.

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And now, since children aren't commonly hit, that's causing them to misbehave. Friends, this is a misconception.

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In English, it is called corporal punishment. And it is very unfortunate that in Indian society, corporal punishment is an accepted and normalised practice.

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Right from the homes to the schools, children are threatened with violence, and punishment for all shortcomings.

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On a first glance, you might feel that this works. The scared child shuts up, and complies.

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But there's a crucial difference between compliance and respect. Numerous scientific research studies show that when a child behaves a certain way out of fear, he does not understand why he should be behaving that way, there's only one thing he learns,

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he'll be punished if he's caught going against the rules. So he looks for ways to avoid being caught, And when this fear is sidelined for a few seconds, he gets back to misbehaving.

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This makes him more curious about the wrong behaviour. Because he doesn't understand he wasn't told what he was doing wrong.

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He was told he'd be beaten if he doesn't follow the rules. This gives rise to natural curiosity.

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And the wrongful behaviour looks enticing. This is why after years of being told by parents not to consume alcohol, not to smoke, or else they'll beat him, when they eventually grow up, they start drinking and smoking.

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And got addicted. Because they were curious about it. They weren't told the reason why it was bad.

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Once they grew out of the fear of being hit, they rushed towards it. Apart from this, there are other negative impacts of corporeal punishment.

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Children who are hit at home are more aggressive. There's an increase in anti-social behaviour among them, and it affects their mental health too.

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Later on, it affects their confidence too. Do you know why? Because the exact behaviour you want to protect your children from, corporeal punishment ends up teaching that.

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When children are hit at home, they are being taught that violence and aggression is the right way of exercising their power against the world.

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If they want to achieve anything in life, they need to do it with violence, fear, and threats.

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"Won't hit? You won't hit me, right?" "I won't." Are you wondering, if this isn't the solution, what is?

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Friends, till now, I was talking about two extremes, One of them is hitting the child, and threatening them.

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And the other extreme is, never saying no to the child. Making them the centre of attention is such a way that it fosters a sense of entitlement and arrogance in them.

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In the second extreme, the children feel that there won't be any consequence of their behaviour.

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And so, they do not develop self control or the ability to be calm in uncomfortable situations.

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The problem with our society is that as we started moving away from one of the extremes, people ran to the other extreme.

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In urban areas, fear-based parenting had stopped. But teachers and parents were not properly trained in positive discipline techniques.

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As the result, the fear was not replaced with respect. Friends, the real solution to this is balanced parenting.

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Neither too strict nor too lenient. Psychologists call it authoritative parenting. Where parents love their children, show them warmth, all while setting clear boundaries and rules.

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Rules that are consistently followed by the children and the parents alike. The term Authoritative Parenting is quite similar to Authoritarian Parenting.

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But these are two different things. In authoritarian parenting, the parents are very strict. And have a lot of demands from the children.

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The right way to teach good behaviour is for the parents to practice it. You need to behave the way you want your child to behave.

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Not littering, throwing trash in the dustbins. If there are no dustbins, keeping it in with them in their pockets.

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Never being overconfident or arrogant in front of others. Behaving with humility and empathy. Second, if the child misbehaves despite you behaving properly, you need to tell him why he's wrong.

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You need to explain why that behaviour is wrong. And the negative consequences of it.

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Have the child think about it. Don't expect children to correct their ways immediately. Children need to be taught repeatedly and kindly.

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You are not supposed to hit them, or scare them into behaving, you need to help them see the logic behind your instructions.

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Why they should be behaving a certain way. For example, if you cross a toy store in a mall, and your child wants a toy.

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If you want to teach your child that they can't get everything at all times.

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Get down to their level and explain kindly, about why they can't get the toy at that moment.

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You might want to tell them that it's expensive and you can't afford to spend on it then.

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Or you can tell them that They need to play with the toy they got a few months ago.

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And they will get their next toy on such and such day. Set clear boundaries and rules.

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Like, buying only one toy every three months. Teach them the importance of patience. The first time you do this, your child may start crying.

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They may throw tantrums and demand the toy. They may start crying right in the middle of the mall.

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If a child behaves this way, do not resort to violence. Repeat what you said kindly as before.

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Here, you need to remind them of the rules and boundaries set by you. Only by doing this, you can foster the right behaviour among children.

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If you want to know more details about this, or you want to describe a specific situation to understand how you should behave there, you can ask an AI chatbot about authoritative parenting.

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Describe the details in the prompt. For example, "My child is 5 years old and talks rudely with adults.

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He behaves rudely showing arrogance and overconfidence. Based on the authoritative parenting style, how should I teach my child good behaviour?" Or you can click here for AI Fiesta's audio transcription feature, to automatically translate your verbal Hindi prompt into written English prompt.

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As you can see it has given such a detailed explanation. But if you aren't satisfied with Claude's answer, then here you have the Try Another Response button.

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Getting back to our topic, in relation to the KBC case, I'd like to draw your attention to one more thing.

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The audience effect. When a child is on a television show, with the cameras are pointing at him from every angle, his friends watching him, his parents watching him, his behaviour deviates from his usual behaviour.

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In the viral clip, pay attention to one thing. The first time he told the host not to explain the rules to him, the audience clapped and laughed at it.

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"I know the rules, don't sit there trying to explain those." "Okay." It's quite normal that any audience can take this reaction of the audience to mean that he said something really cool.

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Since the audience reacted positively, he'll think about behaving that way more. To be funnier and to get more applause.

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Add to that, being there in front of Amitabh Bachhan is quite overwhelming. So that can make the child behave impulsively too.

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There's also the editing and production power at play. In programs like KBC, hours of footage is compressed into minutes.

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The normal moments are often cut. And the sharp remarks, that the production team knows will get them higher TRP, those clips are shown more.

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KBC got huge TRP from this episode. But they should not forget that they may have left a deep impact on this child.

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It is easier for an adult to learn that overconfidence is bad. But a 10-year-old learns from experience, from failure.

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Every child goes through such failures. But most children do not have their failures broadcast on national TV.

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The harmful bit here is that this child is being shamed publicly. And trolled on social media.

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Here we should ask ourselves. Do we want to be a society where children are encouraged to be confident?

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Or a society where their every mistake is turned into a public spectacle? As far as parenting is concerned, we need to remember how to develop good behaviour among children.

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I made a video related to this where I have talked in detail about how to keep children away from the screens and how to set boundaries and rules there.

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Click here to watch it. Thank you very much!

Topics:Kids These Days effectchild behaviorparenting in Indiacorporal punishmentchild developmentCOVID-19 impact on childrenparental overvaluationSix-Pocket Syndromechild arrogancesocial isolation

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