I Went to Mecca as a Muslim... and It Led Me to JESUS

I'm DLC, and this is the testimony of how I came to follow the Lord Jesus Christ. I was born in an Arab Muslim country in the Middle East. My family took Islam very seriously in belief and practice.

Some of them memorized the entire Quran. All ladies wore the hijab and some even wore the niqab. My mom put a hijab on me when I was 10. I was taught Quran at the mosque and also at home as my parents

Some of them memorized the entire Quran. All the ladies wore the hijab, and some even wore the niqab. My mom put a hijab on me when I was 10. I was taught Quran at the mosque and also at home, as my parents were skilled in Quran recitation. My dad had memorized the entire Quran since his youth and had scholarly knowledge of the religion. We had a huge library of Islamic books at home, which I read from, and from which he would read to us regularly. Not just the Quran, but also the Hadith and Sira literature. He told us stories of Muhammad and his companions with enthusiasm, casting them as heroes, and he taught us to love them.

regularly. Not just the Quran, but also the Hadith and Sira literature. He told us stories of Muhammad and his companions with enthusiasm, casting them as heroes and he taught us to love them.

You may ask, "How did I not already see the wrong in Islam?" And it's because it was always taught to me with a good angle or great embellishment. Spiritual veil and blindness is also a real thing.

So, things did not become clear to me until Jesus saved me. My family believed that if Islam were enforced in the proper way by government and practiced well by everyone, that it would be the solution to all problems. But tensions

So, things did not become clear to me until Jesus saved me. My family believed that if Islam were enforced in the proper way by government and practiced well by everyone, it would be the solution to all problems. But tensions increased in my country, and that pressured my family to immigrate to Europe when I was a child. To someone looking from the outside, my life would have seemed very settled. My family life was quiet, without many family issues. My family was secure financially, and my relationships with my parents, siblings, and relatives were good.

family was secure financially and my relationships with my parents, siblings, and relatives were good.

Also, God blessed me with some academic success. So, there was no external issue pushing me to change my life. But the Lord started working in my life to save me, because I was on my way to hell. He started giving me some discomfort to wake me up. I started sensing that something was wrong. Something was not in its place.

started giving me some discomfort to wake me up. I started sensing that something was wrong. Something was not in its place.

Anyone who does not believe in Jesus, especially the Muslim, has almost constant sadness and gloom, even when things are going well. And that is something I saw in myself and in others around me. I felt as if I'd lost something and couldn't find it, and so I couldn't rest. I had no peace of mind, and I could not fully enjoy anything. One of the main worries for me was not knowing for sure where I'd go after death. If you ask any Muslim if they're going to heaven, they'll say, "Inshallah, if Allah wills." No Muslim knows for sure where they're going after death. In fact, the Quran speaks of the certainty of hell for every Muslim to start with, after which Allah comes along to rescue the ones whom he approves. Also, there is the famous saying of Abu Bakr that even if he stepped one foot into paradise, he would not trust that Allah would allow him to place the other foot into it, because he does not trust the mock of Allah, meaning the scheming or deception of Allah. So, if the greatest companion of Muhammad wasn't sure, what about us?

something and I can't find it and so I can't rest. I had no peace of mind and I could not fully enjoy anything. One of the main worries for me was not knowing for sure where I'd go after death. If

The lack of guarantee of paradise scares Muslims and drives them to try hard in Islam to appease Allah with worship, and that's what happened to me. This caused a big problem for me, because I was chasing a god I could not trust. I didn't know his thoughts towards me or whether he was on my side or not. The Quran says only unbelievers feel secure with Allah. Believers are meant to always be unsure. Allah can be with you one day and against you the next day if you happen to sin or fall short. I asked for forgiveness many times every day, not knowing whether he'd forgiven me or not.

which Allah comes along to rescue the ones whom he approves. Also, there is the famous saying of Abu Bakr that even if he stepped one foot into paradise, he would not trust that Allah would allow him to place the other foot into it

I offered prayers and worship, not knowing if he'd accepted them or not. I gave to the poor and did good works with the uncomfortable thought that I was bribing God. Then I was ashamed for having those thoughts and felt guilty, which drove me to do more good works. But I often suspected those good works were not good enough, or the intention was not pure enough. The intention was for myself to feel more secure with Allah, and not really for the poor. And the anxious cycle of work, guilt, and shame started all over again. Besides all that, I sensed a great anxious emptiness and darkness inside me. I had no spiritual link to the Creator, and I [clears throat] knew it.

The lack of guarantee of paradise scares Muslims and drives them to try hard in Islam to appease Allah with worship and that's what happened to me. This caused a big problem for me because I was chasing a god I could not trust. I

When I prayed, it was one-sided, like I was talking to myself. Hundreds of times I sat on a prayer mat trying to force a connection with someone who was not there at all. If I'm not sure where I'm going after death, and I don't trust my fate with God, then what's the difference between me and an unbeliever? That's the question I asked myself.

happen to sin or fall short. I ask for forgiveness many times every day not knowing if he'd forgiven me or not.

My devotion to the religion gave me no spiritual nourishment. So, how am I different from an unbeliever? In fact, I often sensed that non-Muslims in the Western country I was in were happier than I was, because they weren't forever chasing a mysterious God and never knowing where they stood with him anyway. I complained to my family at times that I was not content, that I sensed God was not pleased with me and that he was far away. And the answer from them was always the same: You must not be doing enough. Read more Quran. Get closer to Islam. Did you pray the Fajr prayer on time today?

which drove me to do more good works. But I often suspected those good works were not good enough or the intention was not pure enough. The intention was for myself to feel more secure with Allah and not really for the poor. And

Oh, no. I was 10 minutes late. You see? That's why you don't feel right.

When I prayed, it was one-sided. Like I was talking to myself. Hundreds of times I sat on a prayer mat trying to force connection with someone who was not there at all. If I'm not sure where I'm going after death and I don't trust my

You need to be more disciplined. Now I see it as ludicrous. They talked as if God was a bus. If you're a few minutes late, you miss him. Or like a shop that's only open certain hours. The five daily prayer times, prayers must be on time. Did you pray the nawafil? Then the obligatory prayers? Don't think they're unimportant. You must pray those too.

My devotion to the religion gave me no spiritual feeding. So, how am I different from an unbeliever? In fact, I often sensed that non-Muslims in the Western country that I was in were happier than I was because they weren't forever chasing a

Those are the things my family used to tell me: an never-ending cycle of religious requirements with nothing at the end of it. And I spent many good years in that cycle as well. The Quran says we must change ourselves before Allah would change our condition. You see, when Islam fails to provide the spiritual needs of a person, when it fails to feed them spiritually, it blames the person. It must be the person's fault, not the fault of the religion. So, Islam covers for its own weakness and for the fact that it's a religion that has no real presence of God in it. And since it's impossible for anyone to meet the religious obligations perfectly every single day, Muslims are gaslit into a cycle of trying and failing and trying again. They don't know that even if they met all the rules perfectly, their religion would still fail to benefit them anything.

was always the same. You must not be doing enough. Read more Quran. Get closer to Islam. Did you pray the Fajr prayer on time today?

But I read the Quran more frequently, as I was advised. I read it countless times over the years, in fact. But the more I read, the worse my condition got. In it is a God forever angry at humanity, forever threatening the unbelievers, and reveling in the details of torture. Allah says, "Seize him and shackle him. Then into hellfire drive him. Then into a chain whose length is seventy cubits insert him. Indeed, he did not used to believe in Allah, the most great." And many such verses. He seemed like a sadistic God who wants to satisfy his rage against non-believers. But why not address me? I'm a believer. But even paradise in the Quran, all its details pertain to food and lust. And all this detail did nothing for me spiritually. So, I was in that miserable cycle for many years, getting nowhere. But the Lord intervened again with an idea I believe he gave me. I started thinking that I'm miserable because God has distanced himself from me, because of sins he may not yet have forgiven despite my works. That idea kept repeating in my thinking. The problem was my unforgiven sins. So, I need those sins removed to end the misery. The one definitive way to do that in Islam is to die a martyr in the cause of Allah, which leads to instant forgiveness and entry to paradise without judgment. This, of course, explains much of the violence and attacks done by Muslims in the world. They're trying to give their lives as a shortcut to total forgiveness of sins. Failing that, Hajj is the second best thing, where you are promised forgiveness for past sins. Sahih Hadith say you ret

You need to be more disciplined. Now I see it as ludicrous. They talked as if God was a bus. If you're a few minutes late, you miss him. Or like a shop that's only open certain hours. The five

daily prayer times, prayers must be on time. Did you pray the nawafil? then the obligatory prayers? Don't think they're unimportant. You must pray those too.

Those are the things my family used to tell me. An never-ending cycle of religious requirements with nothing at the end of it. And I spent many good years in that cycle as well. The Quran says we must change ourselves before

Allah would change our condition. You see, when Islam fails to provide the spiritual needs of a person, when it fails to feed them spiritually, it blames the person. It must be the person's fault, not the fault of the

religion. So, Islam covers for its own weakness and for the fact that it's a religion that has no real presence of God in it. And since it's impossible for anyone to meet the religious obligations perfectly every single day,

Muslims are gaslit into a cycle of trying and failing and trying again. They don't know that even if they met all the rules perfectly, their religion would still fail to benefit them anything.

But I read the Quran more frequently as I was advised. I read it countless times over the years, in fact. But the more I read, the worse my condition got. In it is a God forever angry at humanity,

forever threatening the unbelievers, and reveling in the details of torture. Allah says, "Seize him and shackle him.

Then into hellfire drive him. Then into a chain whose length is 70 cubits insert him.

Indeed, he did not used to believe in Allah, the most great." And many such verses. He seemed like a sadistic God who wants to satisfy his rage against non-believers. But why not address me?

I'm a believer. But even paradise in the Quran, all its details pertain to food and lust. And all this detail did nothing for me spiritually. So, I was in that miserable cycle for many years getting nowhere. But the Lord intervened

again with an idea I believe he gave me. I started thinking that I'm miserable because God has distanced himself from me because of sins he may have not yet forgiven despite my works. That idea kept repeating in my thinking. The

problem was my unforgiven sins. So, I need those sins removed to end the misery. The one definitive way to do that in Islam is to die a martyr in the cause of Allah, which leads to instant forgiveness and

entry to paradise without judgment. This, of course, explains much of the violence and attacks done by Muslims in the world. They're trying to give their lives as a shortcut to total forgiveness of sins. Failing that, Hajj is the

second best thing where you are promised forgiveness for past sins. Sahih Hadith say you return from Hajj like a newborn baby, meaning cleansed of sins. Of course, upon return, sins may accumulate again, which would require another pilgrimage, which is why Muslims keep

returning to it. But I was so excited that at least there's a way out of the misery, even if temporary. It was the last hope I had because I tried everything else I knew. I spent almost all the money I'd saved at the time to

fly myself and my dad as chaperone to Saudi. I was so desperate for a solution, for total forgiveness, to be sinless and close to God, even if for a day or for an hour.

Even if I ruin it again with a sin the next day, I wanted to see what it would be like. That shows the level of despair I was in.

When I got there, the rituals on the ground were a big shock for me.

I'd seen some of it before on TV, but nothing prepares you for what it's really like. People were stepping over each other, desperately trying to reach the Kaaba and the black stone.

They didn't care who they were stepping over to get there. People screaming in agony because of the pushing and the shoving in the crowds. Women and even children were being shoved.

The only thing people were determined to do was to reach those places, and they were hurting each other and pushing each other. And I was with them.

I said to myself, "Okay, I've spent a lot of money and time to get here. This is not the time to be weak." And I pushed into the crowds.

I saw crowds clinging to the cover of the Kaaba and crying. In those moments, the Lord dealt with me again. I had a short moment of sudden clarity, as if I woke up from sleep. I said, "Wait, what am I doing?

What is this madness? I've never shoved another person in my life. I saw some people insulting a pillar of stone and stoning it with pebbles, because it's a symbol of the devil. I thought, "What are we all doing?

What's the purpose of this?" And I ask Allah, "I don't know how you'll forgive us like this.

How do all these rituals satisfy you? People running around stones, running between two mountains, camping out in the desert, stoning pillars of stone, pushing around in crowds.

Is this all you really need to see to forgive us? I don't understand." And that was the first step in my rebellion against the God of Islam.

It was during Hajj. So, I returned from Hajj, and I was worse than before the Hajj. The emptiness was worse, the misery was worse. There was no great spiritual awakening, no great forgiveness to be assured of, no change

in my condition. It was my last real attempt to reach Allah, and it was a massive disappointment. I didn't get what was promised. The whole time of Hajj, I was forcing my body to go through the rituals, while my mind was

screaming that it was ridiculous. And I knew Allah could see what I was thinking. I thought his rituals were ridiculous. So, how will he forgive that now? I spent years chasing that God, following all his rules since I was a

teenager, and all my savings were now spent on pilgrimage, and I'm still empty-handed. I was so disillusioned and so let down. I started missing prayers.

I was in great despair of God, and I was sure he does not love me because the Quran says many times that Allah guides whom he will and misguides whom he will.

And the Hadith say that Allah decides if a person is destined for hell or paradise while they're still in the mother's womb. Islam teaches fatalism, which is called Qadar, which is the sixth pillar of faith. I thought, well,

I must be one of those that Allah had determined already that they're misguided because that's the only explanation I could think of. Whatever I tried, he kept distancing from me. So, he must have decided I was among the

people he didn't want. That's why I have this heart that can't sense his presence, that isn't comfortable with his speech in the Quran, or with his rituals in Hajj. And I can't change it because it's already pre-written by his

decree in Qadar. So, I reached more levels of despair, and I knew hell was waiting after death. I rebelled more against Allah. I said to him, "You don't know how hard life is for us humans.

You're up there on your throne writing our fate, then judging us. I wish you knew how hard it is for us." And of course, now I know God does know what it's like to be human. He came in

the flesh as Jesus Christ, but I didn't know that at the time. In those rebellion days, Allah seems to me a strange God. It seemed he wants people to keep chasing him, to do bizarre Hajj rituals for him for his

entertainment. I thought he just wants to watch humans jump through hoops for him driven by uncertainty of their fate, and I tired of him completely.

This is what Islam can do to the image of God in people's minds. I understand the widespread atheism in the Muslim world today. It's because of Islam.

Islam distorts and destroys the image of the creator in people's minds. So much so that it drives people to lose trust in God and to rebel against him and turn away from him and make them think, "If that's God, I don't want him and I don't

want any religion." Muslims are wronged by Islam that they're given a terrible image of their creator, but the most wronged one in Islam is the real God whose character gets painted with the same brush as the false counterfeit God

of Islam. I thank God now that I didn't go into atheism because since my field of study was the sciences, I was long convinced there was a designer. So, even though I talked irreverently to God and said harsh words to him and believed he had

the wrong character ignorantly, the Lord came after me again. He didn't leave me. A child in the family was born, my nephew. I loved that child more than I loved myself and it was the first time I'd loved another person more than

myself even though he wasn't mine. He was my brother's son, but I still did.

Even when he would make a fuss or make a mess or when he grew up a little and was naughty, I didn't mind. I loved him. I wanted to offer him everything to make him happy. Everyone noticed. One time he

was visiting and a thought came to me, "I wish Allah loved me as much as I love this baby." That was another moment where God dealt with me. I stopped to think, "Wait, how could I wish Allah's love was like mine?

How can my love be more than God's love? That would make me greater than God and that's impossible and it dawned on me that the God of Islam is not true because there's no way that my love would surpass the love of a real God.

So, we Muslims must have it wrong. Islam must have got God's image and character wrong. So, I didn't need to worry what Allah thought because he wasn't the real one. God is somewhere else.

That's when I looked at the sky and talked to God. I said, "I know you're not in this religion.

Where are you? I want the truth. Show me where you are and I will follow you." And I asked God the same every day. I decided not to ask anyone else in case they led me in the wrong direction. I

just waited for God. The answer soon came. A while later, I clicked on a video where a Muslim and a Christian were having a discussion. It was the first time I had heard a Christian talk about Jesus. Up to that point,

everything I'd heard about Christians and Jesus came from Muslims. I saw something in that man's face that I never saw in any Muslim's face before.

He was sure where he'd go after death. He had no doubt. No Muslim is ever sure where they'd go after death. And that exact doubt was the main cause of my misery. So, how is it that that man is

so sure? Then he said to the Muslim that Jesus is the word of Allah, which is in Surah 4:171.

And since Sunni Muslims believe the word of Allah is eternal, and if Jesus is Allah's word, then Jesus must be eternal. And if Jesus is eternal, then he is God.

I was stunned. It was a logical point. And I'd read that verse many times before, and even the commentaries on that verse. But I'd never thought of it that way. They tried to explain it, but the truth is, no one

else in Islam is called the word of God. Only Jesus. That was the first step, the first flash of light in the darkness that I was in.

I started looking into Jesus online. Very simple things like who is he, why did he come, what did he do? I looked into the historical evidence of his crucifixion and the eyewitness accounts of his resurrection. I read that he came

to remove sins, because sins are the barrier between us and God. I understood instantly because that was the thinking God had led me to years ago. Which was why I went to Hajj, to get rid of that barrier of sins.

I read that Christ reconciled us with God and gave us the solution. I understood because I had tried to reconcile myself to God by following Muslim obligations of worship and with Hajj.

And I couldn't. I was now reading that no one could do it except with Christ. I saw now that God had prepared me to ask certain questions at specific points down the years and to try to solve the

problem myself and then fail and despair for him to then provide the exact answers later. God wanted me to learn through experience. I understood intellectually, but my heart was the same. The misery and the emptiness were the same and the distance from God was

still the same. I came to the point where I said to myself that I must decide now who Jesus is. Now, even though I'd left Islam in my heart, its brainwashing was strong and it still held me back. Islam says if I say Jesus

is God, I'll go to hell because Jesus was just a man. Christianity says if I don't say Jesus is God, I'll go to hell because Jesus is God and not just a man.

If one of them is true, the other one is false and they could not both be true at the same time. And even though I knew Islam was false, it could still be right about Jesus specifically since there are other

groups who don't believe Jesus is God either. So, I hesitated. But God intervened again and I stumbled upon a Christian preacher who said, "If you're not sure who Jesus is, ask Jesus himself." I thought, "Well, why not? That makes

sense. The best way to find out someone's identity is to ask the person themselves. And if Jesus is God, he can answer for himself." So, I decided to ask Jesus as an experiment and I thought nothing would come of it anyway. I got

on my knees like the man said and as I did so, my heart softened. Then I said, "Jesus, if you are like what Christians are saying, show me." Then came moments I can never describe fully.

I was still conscious and awake, but it was as if I was in another world for about a minute. I did not see the Lord then, but all the misery disappeared.

The emptiness, the fear, the despair, all was gone as if none of it ever existed. And it was all replaced with this strange happiness and completion.

The sense of not needing or wanting anything, and feeling full in my heart. I had physical warmth in my chest, and it surprised me.

It was the first time in my life I was in complete peace. The confusion of many years disappeared in an instant.

I had no doubt that Jesus is God, and that I was in his presence.

The presence of someone great and holy. If I were to guess what heaven feels like, it would be those moments.

My first ever contact with God. Then I was back to reality, and I was shocked. I never expected this.

I said, "Is this what Christians experience? Why don't they say?" I was overjoyed. I kept saying, "The man in the video was right." And I thanked God for answering me.

I thought, "Wait, I don't even have a Bible." I went out and bought one, and it was way bigger than the Quran. I Googled where to start reading, and it said, "John." So, I found John, and it started

with, "In the beginning was the word." I said, "Oh, that's the word." Remember, I came this far because of the Quranic verse that said Jesus is the word of Allah. God knew how I came. So, the Bible spoke to me with what I knew.

It said, "And the word was with God, and the word was God." It confirmed to me the answer. Yes, Jesus is God. I was reading in disbelief. It's speaking to me personally, directly, this book that's thousands of years old. I saw

words that are easy to read with a context and a clear narrative, different from the Quran that reads mostly without context and jumps subjects without warning. But the Bible is so accessible and clear. It tells you the year the

events happened in history, the reigns of named kings and named geographical areas. It names tribes and peoples. Then it tells the events in the order they happened and in great detail. It speaks to me like a sane person. I was used to

a book that reads like a schizophrenic. Like in Sura 36:14, it says, "We sent to them two, but they denied them, so we strengthened them with a third." It mentions no detail. Who are the two that were sent? Who's the people they

were sent to? Who's the third person who strengthened them? Nothing. No one knows for sure. No detail, no clarification, no context. And the verses leading up to it talk about other things entirely, then soon after switch to something else

entirely again. The Quran that claims to be detailed in everything forces you to go to other books and commentators to tell you what on earth that mysterious God could have meant. And they conclude with Allah knows best to admit they are

never sure. Reading the Bible, I saw the difference between the speech of the real God and the absolute farce that I was in. Easy, wonderful, deep speech. I saw in it the solution to the despair I was in. I saw how God in the flesh

lowered and humbled himself and walked among us as a human, which is something I thought about and complained to the God of Islam before, that he doesn't know what it's like for us. But Jesus, he came down and lived like us, suffered

like us. Like it says, he was able to empathize with our weaknesses, was tempted in every way just as we are, yet he did not sin. This proves his love for us. He didn't need to do it. He left his

throne behind and came down for us out of love. The love that I found no evidence for in Islam. A person who allowed himself to be killed in a horrific way to take on our sins and to reconcile us with God. How

impossible it was to get rid of sin and its consequences of guilt and misery by myself. All the rules and rituals couldn't help. I found the love of God that I'd been looking for. He made me a child of God after having lived as a

slave of Allah. Jesus says, "I don't call you slaves, but friends. For the slave does not know what his master is doing. But, I have called you friends, for all that I have heard from my father, I have made known to you." A

Muslim is a slave who does not know the mind of his master, Allah, if his master even accepted him or not. Jesus does not change his thoughts towards me if I fall short. He is the unchangeable God who is

the same yesterday, today, and forever. He is always on my side, and I know his thoughts and plans towards me are always for good. Jesus gave me what Islam could not give me. Certainty about forgiveness, certainty about heaven, and

certainty about where I stood with him. God changed my heart and made me a new person after having been told to change myself by myself in Islam. Jesus died for me, which is the biggest thing. But, the fake counterfeit God that I served

before, he wanted us to die for him. To die in his cause to get paradise.

Honestly, after the God of Islam destroyed the image of God in my mind completely, along came the God of the Bible and surpassed all my expectations.

I realized that the God of Islam and the God of the Bible are opposites. One is the real God, and so the other must be Satan.

Besides that, the character of Jesus in the Gospel and his life, I could not find greater or holier. Reading about him, I was amazed. I forgot that there was a man called Muhammad or that there was a book called the Quran. A vast difference

between Christ and the man who claimed to be the final prophet. No comparison. Christ who said, "Which one of you convicts me of sin?" Even his enemies could not find sin in him. And the other who even the Quran tells to seek

forgiveness for his sin. Christ who never drew a sword, never owned a slave, never took a woman. Unlike Muhammad whose life was full of women and wars, who traded in slaves, who took for himself a fifth of the war booty, and

bribed people with money to become Muslim. Even giving such people a name, al-muallafatu qulubuhum, who ought to get zakat money to persuade their hearts towards Islam.

Jesus said to the rich young ruler, "Sell everything and give it to the poor, then follow me." He did not say, "I'll give you money to follow me." I found out that Jesus and Muhammad are not similar. They're not in the same

group of messengers. And one did not come later to finish the message of the other. That is one of the biggest lies they told us. Jesus is God in the flesh, the one who came at the fullness of time

after dozens of prophecies about him across hundreds of years that prepared for his coming. But Muhammad just created a new religion that had nothing to do with any of it. He plagiarized some distorted Bible stories, put them in his religion, mixed in with some Arab

paganism to make a mix-and-match religion. He tried to borrow legitimacy from names of prophets, claiming to be one of them, while having nothing at all to do with any of them.

And that's the truth. They also lied to us saying the Bible is corrupted to cover up for the obvious contradictions between their fake religion and the words of the true God.

But that's impossible and far below the dignity of the real God to allow his words to be tampered by weak human hands.

Because it would mean God belittled his words by failing to protect them, which is unbefitting of the true God. The truth is the Bible is the true word of God. The Quran is the imposter that claims to be it, but really is not.

Reality is actually the opposite of what we were told. A trick from the devil to steer Muslims away from believing in the one thing that can save them from hell.

The belief in the sacrifice that Jesus offered on the cross to take on their sins.

So once I read the gospel and some parts of the Old Testament, I became sure that I'd found the real God and that he answered me when I asked him to show me the truth. He had indeed shown me the

truth. I spent many happy months discovering God, whom I wished was in the religion that I was in, but he was not in it. I was wrong for believing what Islam taught without searching for myself. I was wrong for assuming it was

the truth without challenging it. I was wrong and I was sorry. So on the 13th of January 2017 I declared the Lord Jesus Christ my Lord and my savior. I believed in his death on the cross and in his rising from the

dead on the third day. I read Psalm 51 in repentance and I asked the Lord Jesus Christ to forgive me.

And he did. I was a secret believer for about 6 months. My family started noticing the change. I was happier, freer more settled, more peaceful. You'd think they'd be pleased about it, but they were not because it came with a

distancing from Islam. They could tolerate anything but not that. My parents noticed I didn't join their prayers at home anymore. I stopped going with them to the mosque. My mom noticed I stopped saying peace be upon him when

Muhammad's name was mentioned. Pressure increased on me to explain and I couldn't stay secret forever. I also wanted to share with them the truth I found so that they can be saved too.

Come judgement day, they may blame me for knowing the truth and not telling them. So, I told them everything I just told you here and more. I told each one of them. I said that I'd found happiness and peace, that I'd found the true God,

but as soon as I mentioned Christ, I came under fire from every direction. My parents, who had never attacked me before, led the attacks. There were insults, loud voices, shouting. I was told to leave the family home a few times, but

then they'd ask me to return to sit me down and bring me back. I kept going back because I wanted more chances to speak about Jesus, that maybe if I explained it a different way this time, they'd understand. But each time, they

rejected. The push and pull went on for months. I left the family home for good.

My family tried everything they could to bring me back to Islam. They said that I'd committed the unforgivable sin. My dad declared to me that he cannot be my dad in the same way again until I repented, which he still hoped I would

for many months. When he saw he could not convince me to return to Islam, he declared the Islamic rulings on my situation. In a Muslim country, I'd be trialed and put to death, but since we were in a Western country, I got away

from that process. Since I remain alive, I am to be disinherited by the family because Muhammad said no believer should acquire inheritance from a Muslim. If I were to die, he declared I would not be given a funeral or be buried with the

family because Muhammad said an unbeliever is not to be buried with the Muslims. My mom would cut me off for years at a time, then would turn up at my door with baked goods on Eid days, saying I should come home and all would

be forgiven. Just come back to Islam. She knew I enjoyed Eid days as a Muslim.

The truth is, I miss them. I miss the house. I miss my mom's cooking.

But I wanted Jesus and did not want to return to Islam, which was the only condition.

Then they used the last weapon they had left, my little nephew. I was told that now I would no longer be allowed to see him.

If I wanted to see him again, I needed to go back to Islam. That hurt.

I wanted to see him. But how do I go back? How do I unsee what I've seen?

So I hadn't seen him since. And it's been almost 10 years. The reason I'm telling you all this is not to feel bad for me. I want you to pray for Muslims. I'm the fortunate one who was rescued out of Islam, but they

are still stuck in the same misery. And I'm frightened of what awaits them if they don't repent in time. I still love them and I hope I won't be the only one from my family in heaven. I found

Jesus and I'm safe. He's never let me go. And has given me blessing after blessing over the years.

Salvation, baptism, happy marriage, and the love of brothers and sisters. And after death, I'll be safe with God forever.

What more can I ask for? But I do ask for more. I ask for my father's house.

And I ask for all Muslim households to be known and to know Jesus. All honor, power, and glory be to the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, the one true God.

Amen.