Were Cruel Intentions Involved? || Reddit Readings || T… — Transcript

Two Hot Takes Podcast explores Reddit stories about relationships, grammar debates, and wedding drama with humor and insight.

Key Takeaways

  • Language and grammar debates often reveal deeper social dynamics and personal insecurities.
  • Intentions behind actions can be ambiguous, sometimes blending helpfulness with cruelty.
  • Relationship conflicts, especially around major events like weddings, can expose underlying tensions.
  • Clear communication and empathy are crucial in resolving disputes and misunderstandings.
  • Humor and storytelling help navigate complex emotional topics effectively.

Summary

  • Hosts discuss grammar mistakes and the social reactions to correcting others, highlighting lend vs borrow usage.
  • They share personal anecdotes about language, memory, and the challenges of retaining knowledge over time.
  • The podcast transitions into analyzing Reddit stories with potential cruel intentions behind people's actions.
  • A major story involves wedding drama where the best man’s girlfriend forces him to choose between attending a wedding or staying with their new dog.
  • The couple planned a small, drama-free wedding in Italy, inviting only close friends and allowing significant others to join.
  • Tensions rise as the girlfriend threatens to end the relationship if the best man attends the wedding without her.
  • The bride expresses disappointment and confronts the girlfriend, who responds by calling her a bridezilla.
  • The hosts reflect on interpersonal conflicts, intentions behind actions, and the complexity of social dynamics.
  • Throughout the episode, the hosts engage with listener comments and share humorous, relatable insights.
  • The episode combines lighthearted banter with deeper questions about relationships and communication.

Full Transcript — Download SRT & Markdown

00:01
Speaker A
Just your reminder to subscribe, and we're on tour. Charlotte was amazing. Thank you guys for coming out, and if you already have your tickets to one of our live shows, be sure to complete the Google form that's in the description.
00:16
Speaker A
We're really trying to call on you guys, and we had an amazing time with people sharing their stories and coming up on stage with us, so be sure to submit. Enjoy the episode. I mean, people came for us
00:28
Speaker A
for using the word "borrow" wrong, so it's just, you don't know these days, like what, what's going to happen. I am sorry for all of our grammar police. I know there, I listened, I listened back with
00:41
Speaker A
Brian, my boyfriend, did he not hear anything wrong? No, he laughed way too hard. He was like, you got to admit that's hilarious, and I'm like, it's not that big of a deal. Do you say lend or borrow? I mean, I
00:56
Speaker A
think I do say lend normally. I don't know, maybe I don't. I don't know, actually, now that I think about it, I've always said borrow. Really? There's a lender and there's a borrower. Yeah, so you borrow something from someone who's
01:10
Speaker A
lending it. Yeah, it is correct. Like, you're not wrong. You're absolutely, you don't borrow something out. That doesn't make sense. So I, I do, oh God, it, so personally I do, and then you ruin it. Yeah, and it's very bad, and then
01:27
Speaker A
you go to Ralph's. Yeah, yeah, it's not Ralph's the grocery store, it's Ralph's. Yeah, because I, that was my fault there, 'cause my last name is Ralph, and do you call that Ralph? It's just hard to say now. I don't know, I
01:40
Speaker A
actually think that I do call it Ralph's because of the fact that it, I'm like, that's not my last name, it's not spelled the same way, you know what I mean? But, you know, we all have our things and [ __ ] up words and saying
01:53
Speaker A
is just mine. Yeah, and you got to just love us for our borrow and our ruin. Somebody, someone said something, someone said something like, how did, how did they make it through college? And like, it's hard, and I just, I don't know why I just
02:09
Speaker A
was in the mood to respond back, and I was like, hey, that was mean, but I will borrow you forgiveness. There you go, there you go, let's just keep it going. Yeah, no, I mean, grammar's tough. I still, I
02:20
Speaker A
proofread stuff and I'm like, oh my God, I don't know, like what word is NM. That's what people become writers for and editors and, or you listened in grammar class in high school. Do you know when to use whom? No, I just
02:36
Speaker A
feel that there's so much information that is constantly passing by me that if I really want to focus on a topic, I got to take a class again. Yes, there's so many classes I took in college, in high
02:48
Speaker A
school, in grade school, whatever it is, and there's so many things that I learned, and some things that I still retain very, very well. For example, speaking of football coming up, Brian was telling me that the
03:01
Speaker A
Chiefs are playing the 49ers, and I was like, ah, the seven-time seveners. That's how I learned seven times seven when I was little. There's certain things that stick with me, and there's certain things that I got to revisit. Okay, what's 12 times 12?
03:12
Speaker A
Don't do this to me. 144. Just, yeah, well, you were talking a big game like this is how I remembered multiplication, but it's only for one combo. I don't know the twelves. I just, I, so is that the one time
03:24
Speaker A
in your life you use that? When he said, oh, the 49ers. Well, when I was in grade school, you know, we had tests on it, so I was able to do it very quickly when I was young. Yeah, the, the
03:35
Speaker A
multiplication table things, and you get them all like randomly, and yeah, that's how I got into math Masters. I didn't get into math Masters. I still have my shirt. You, I was bad shirt to have actually though. We're going to
03:48
Speaker A
make this college or high school, middle school. Oh, okay. So this chat we've had, you know, talking about us pronouncing words wrong and things like that begs the question when people point it out or, you know, we've all been there. You
04:05
Speaker A
might, you might say ruin properly, you might know when to use lend versus borrow, but sometimes you'll have people in your life that point out certain things or do certain things, and you wonder why did you feel the need to do
04:21
Speaker A
that? Were you trying to be helpful or were you trying to be cruel? Both were there cruel intentions behind that action, and today we're going to pose that question on some of these, uh, stories like it was scripted. Look at
04:37
Speaker A
that, that was off the top of my noggin. Wow, it is not smooth today. [ __ ] that was like story time. I was buckling up when you started talking. It was like the beginning of a movie or
04:51
Speaker A
something. Really? Well, damn, let's just keep it rolling then. You guys ready? Y, let's, are you ready? Let's [ __ ] let's go. Let's dive [Music] in. Are you ready? Yeah. Are you buckled up? No. Gonna be a bumpy ride for you today.
05:18
Speaker A
That's good. I like turbulence. Okay. Oh, I hate it. Okay, so we have the first two, kind of some wedding drama. You know, I'm starting to consider it's probably time I start wedding planning, and so the wedding ones
05:30
Speaker A
are really like catching my eye. So this is 15 hours old, not even a vote on it yet. It is titled, "Am I the [ __ ] for being mad at the best man's girlfriend for making him choose between a dog and
05:47
Speaker A
our wedding?" My fiancé, male, 29, and I, female, 26, got engaged last October after six years together and plan to marry this October. We both have a very complicated family, so we thought a lot about our wedding and decided that we just want
06:04
Speaker A
peace and don't want to worry about all the family drama. So we plan to get married in Italy with only our best man and maid of honor. It's only a four-hour drive to a small city we once discovered
06:16
Speaker A
on a road trip. We invited my maid of honor, SL, his best man to the wedding, call him Mike, male, 29, and told them that they could bring their significant others also. The trip would be fully paid for, and Mike and my fiancé have been
06:32
Speaker A
best friends since kindergarten. Mike's girlfriend, let's call her Courtney, female, 28, and him have been together for three years. We were very welcoming towards her, and I befriended her also. We did a lot of things together, helped them move
06:48
Speaker A
and build their home, etc. Mike and Courtney are getting a dog hopefully in September, so Mike told us he needed a different hotel because the one we chose is not dog friendly, and at the time of our wedding in October, they would
07:04
Speaker A
probably have the dog. We apologized and looked for another hotel. Then he texted that Courtney thinks the dog wouldn't make the long drive, which we understood. We said that there are probably a lot of friends and family who could take the
07:18
Speaker A
dog, but Courtney doesn't want that. Mike told us that Courtney would probably stay home with the dog, and he would travel alone. Here comes the drama. The following day, Mike wrote us that he will not come to our wedding because Courtney
07:36
Speaker A
doesn't want to be alone with the dog for the weekend, and she also would like to attend the wedding. Courtney wrote to me that we could change our wedding month or the place, maybe just a wedding in our hometown so that they could come.
07:51
Speaker A
I said no. If we married in our hometown, the families would want to attend, and all the drama between parents and siblings would stress us out. My fiancé asked Mike again if he couldn't come alone, and he
08:05
Speaker A
finally told us that Courtney threatened to end the relationship if he doesn't stay with her and the dog. My fiancé was absolutely sad and disappointed and told Mike his feelings. He is normally not overemotional, but that was hard for him.
08:21
Speaker A
Courtney wrote me the following day as if nothing has happened, and I told her that I'm absolutely disappointed in her and can't understand her behavior and how she puts this dog, who is in absolutely no danger or need to have two
08:36
Speaker A
people dog sitting him, over our wedding and kind of expected her to apologize for all the stress she is putting us through. She called me an insensitive and offensive person, a bridezilla who wants her wedding above everything, and said she couldn't accept
08:52
Speaker A
my behavior even if I apologized. Ew, I just can't comprehend why I should apologize. I feel like I can express to my friends if I'm disappointed, and I absolutely didn't write anything offensive.
09:12
Speaker A
definitely wait I'm kidding people are typing immediately I was like wait wait who who are we talking about being the [ __ ] did I get this wrong wait what Lauren the look of panic that came over her no but
09:25
Speaker A
that's like your classroom anxiety that [ __ ] used to happen to me where someone would say something complet and I'm like like did I not but well I thought that I must have heard something wrong okay so
09:34
Speaker A
we're all on the the same page here not the [ __ ] yeah I mean if this is the story absolutely not obviously you never know there's like nuances sometimes ever since we had that other side of the
09:44
Speaker A
story one I'm always like well what if there's all these other things yeah there's so much missing context but no this sounds absolutely insane I think it's really really [ __ ] up I get like it's a dog you're excited
10:01
Speaker A
it's maybe a puppy you know whatever but like it's actually good for you to leave your dog behind and like go to the grocery store and not take your dog and like do things when your dog is a puppy
10:12
Speaker A
cuz that's how you prevent separation anxiety you're going to create a monster like you have to do those things to make sure your dog feels confident and independent and you don't want to leave him alone forever but like you know what
10:23
Speaker A
I mean so this is crazy and to then be like you can't go to your best friend since kindergarten wedding where you're the best man that you have an all expenses paid trip in Italy this is what I look at loss for words it's
10:41
Speaker A
really not the like yeah the people getting married it is a big inconvenience and this is something to sort out but the the one with the real problem here is Mike yeah and Mike needs to dump Courtney I'd cancel that dog you
10:56
Speaker A
know it is a pretty big red flag because that will go towards a lot of you know versions of controlling you in your future threatening her the the their entire relationship if he doesn't go to be a best man at his friend since
11:14
Speaker A
kindergarten what like what well I'd also like to say I think anytime someone uses a you know relationship ending we're going to break up threatens breaking up just for non breakup worthy issues that for me would be done very quick
11:33
Speaker A
because no reverse and actually break up I cannot deal with like oh we went and did this and you got upset and left oh we're breaking up and it's not anywhere near the breakup threshold you know what I'm talking about it's very manipulative
11:46
Speaker A
or the people the couples that are like no we're breaking up and then they break up for a week get back together and then they do it 10 times it's not healthy yeah it's not healthy it's not for me
11:55
Speaker A
I'm very perplexed by this I think Courtney sounds like a very self-centered person person where it's like well I want to go to the wedding too but like the dog can't be in the car for 4 hours like this all started where
12:07
Speaker A
it was like oh well we have to find a different Hotel like can you find a different hotel for your wedding because the hotel is not was going to say that that was my first strike I was like that
12:17
Speaker A
that's that's a little much yeah and that was nice enough for them to just be willing to gracious it oh my God yeah let's find a new and then all of a sudden the dog can't make a 4our drive
12:29
Speaker A
yes it can absolutely so if we solv that what would be the next excuse Courtney is going to continue to find excuse after excuse and then it's like oh well Mike you can't go to the wedding by yourself because I don't want to be
12:40
Speaker A
alone with our dog for a weekend or well I want to go to the wedding too guess what Courtney do you want your dog or do you want to go to the wedding because you clearly can't have both and you are
12:51
Speaker A
being a bad girlfriend a bad partner to Mike also life happens what if Mike has to travel for work and you're alone with the dog you're not going to be with Mike 24/7 yeah like yeah it's you have to be
13:05
Speaker A
able to function on your own and if you're not capable of handling a dog on your own for one weekend while your partner goes and celebrates you maybe shouldn't get a dog you sound unequipped yeah well and she doubled down with the
13:20
Speaker A
bridezilla situation which sh there's situations in life where there's a scale from bridezilla to nice normal happy bride you get in the middle of those two there's a gray area right and so it gets very complicated do you feel like she
13:36
Speaker A
was being a Brides Zilla not at all but I feel like that term has become so popular that any inconvenience to a guest especially maybe a partner of someone who's in the wedding it's not surprising all of a sudden they're a
13:51
Speaker A
bridezilla because that term is so easy for people to just I mean it's the way like I think that happens with a lot of terms like I we've been guilty of overusing narcissist gaslighting like I think we all I love and meshed also
14:07
Speaker A
started realizing too how much everybody will start to question if their partner or if their ex during the breakup period or breakup is a narcissist like the amount of times that I've noticed people say that I think it's I think it's
14:21
Speaker A
really normal now that we because it's a it's so it's kind of open-ended the terms of a narcissist and so I I think it's really easy when you're really upset and then there your partner who who you used to be like Anyway this
14:36
Speaker A
is going off topic so we can go back no but I think we try to rationalize these things and it doesn't seem like Courtney's trying to do that and that's why she's saying these things like she I think is just like almost projecting or
14:49
Speaker A
like trying to shift the blame but like yeah I think I think if we were to get an update on this one 6 months down the road because this is February like this wedding isn't until October is that
15:03
Speaker A
literally 6 months almost like basically yeah whatever people count your calendar what I don't know I'm bad feels like seven but yeah somewhere in there but I feel like if we get an update it's going to be like either we
15:19
Speaker A
are not friends with Mike like that was the straw because he chose Courtney but I think eventually they're not going to last yeah like well they're going to break up I think I told you about this but one of my friends siblings was
15:33
Speaker A
dating this girl who did a lot of things like this like it it reminds me so much so I'll try to make this really quick but basically my friend's brother let's call him te okay was dating this girl
15:47
Speaker A
and his best friend from childhood kind of like this story was dating another girl for I don't know maybe like I think it was like three four years quite a while he ended up cheating on that girl with
16:03
Speaker A
one of T's girlfriend's friends oh so they got back together and then they were at their wedding or it was either their wedding or like a friend's wedding something like that same all Place yeah and then te's girlfriend was just being
16:23
Speaker A
so rude to like his best friend's fiance orever wanted she wanted her friend to be like end up with that guy even though her friend was the one who cheated or like cheated with him she wasn't cheating on
16:38
Speaker A
anyone she wasn't with anyone but yeah so and it was this whole thing where she started telling T that he's not allowed to be friends with them anymore unless they apologize to her for what for their coldness towards
16:51
Speaker A
her I mean I wouldn't did that did that make sense I know it's kind of confusing I think it's amazing the hills that people will die on like it's generally not big issues it's small issues that spiraled out of control
17:07
Speaker A
because of bad communication or or just bad intentions dude that is my life this week and people come after you and they'll hold that Grudge till the end of time over something that started from something so dumb it's like the princess
17:20
Speaker A
and the P thing where it's like there's a little PE under the mattress and like it creates such a [ __ ] issue yeah like that's the thing right right yeah yeah no no one's heard that yeah I've
17:31
Speaker A
heard that I've never heard that used in this sense but it makes sense like it's a small thing that created a big issue what issue did it create she she kept feeling the pee and she kept putting like a mattress on top of it and then
17:42
Speaker A
she kept feeling the pee right that's like the story that that's a thin ass mattress dude how you going to feel pee she she's just a sensitive gal sensitive sensitive g ain't feeling no pee through my mattress I'll tell you that I have
17:55
Speaker A
not heard that story or that reference in so long hey like like I said at the beginning I will butcher a saying a reference a word just pick these things up they just float around and they're knocking together you know heard it once when I
18:11
Speaker A
was 5 years old yeah it's an echo chamber in there just constantly swirling about like a washing machine rattling on the sides it's just not good um okay so top comment on this one I think I hate Courtney I'm just going to
18:27
Speaker A
put that out there but that's not the top comment oh uh so top comment is whoa what the [ __ ] that girl is way out of line that's some crazy behavior there is zero valid reason Mike can't attend he's
18:39
Speaker A
pretty spineless to himself to allow her to dictate his plans like this Courtney is the kind of person not worth knowing I'd begin to exclude her from everything but continue to invite Mike to things eventually he will realize that she is
18:54
Speaker A
preventing him from doing things not the [ __ ] unless she convinces him that oh they're the problem cuz I'm not invited to anything she he'll he'll get brainwashed unfortunately Opie does respond to that one okay thanks I really
19:10
Speaker A
couldn't understand her either and started doubting myself my birthday is in 2 weeks and I wrote Mike that I don't want her to attend because I'm too mad about all of that and he wrote me back that she said that she doesn't want to
19:21
Speaker A
see me or my fiance for the next few months even if I apologize so I guess not seeing her will will be an easy thing okay good Courtney has being really disrespectful they won't let it go I would love to hear Courtney's write in
19:40
Speaker A
because I'm just so curious how she's perceiving this in her little head I know so we do have an edit um sorry for any grammar mistakes English is not my first language I corrected them on the fly so we didn't get many it's okay op
19:54
Speaker A
uh edit two to clarify there is no dog yet they talked to to a breeder he said that if his dog Mama gets pregnant and has more than three puppies they would get one in September so you're ruining your
20:13
Speaker A
friendship on a big F on a potential dog I was a dog I was going to ask that because that's that was another part that stuck out to me like it's not even you're not even I think sometimes when
20:24
Speaker A
people first get an animal they're so in love that that's like their world you know so it's interesting that Courtney is still feeling like this without it even being existing without it even existing you know it it has a chance to
20:40
Speaker A
exist it's not even planned it's not even like yep you'll get this it's an if on an if it's really weird it's so weird I don't like if on if if so weird it's a if squared yeah and like it's easy to
20:55
Speaker A
find a babysitter for a puppy everyone wants to play with a puppy yeah but Bond and that's critical bonding time it's like no they'll be fine they'll be fine it's one weekend to support your best friend it's yeah there's quite a few
21:07
Speaker A
other comments from uh op a lot of noty [ __ ] and just kind of op explaining about the dog it's mandatory that they get the dog after 12 weeks um which is great like a lot of breeders you
21:21
Speaker A
shouldn't take a puppy before 8 weeks for sure lot of comments people asking did you see this ultimatum like did Mike tell you about it in private or ask you not to mention it yes he told us about
21:34
Speaker A
the ultimatum in private showing my fiance some texts from her oh God they partly discussed this while at work but that he doesn't want to come because she doesn't want to watch the dog and would also love to attend was not private he
21:47
Speaker A
told us that she dictated all the message to him so yeah that's going to be an interesting one yeah keyword I know and so one made a point not the [ __ ] so you organized an out of town wedding to avoid family
22:03
Speaker A
drama and ended up with friend drama sorry yeah is she jealous that you're getting married and she's not it seems weird to cause all of this mess over a hypothetical dog but then some people love to do that time to alope yeah yeah
22:18
Speaker A
best way maybe we'll see but I mean the best way I consider it I consider here's the thing the other thing though too is like we're doing it to avoid drama but there's going to be a whole [ __ ] ton of
22:32
Speaker A
drama when everyone finds out they weren't at your wedding you're you get drama either way especially depending on your family and like mine would be real mad they didn't get to go it's funny cuz you know how you you were texting me and
22:45
Speaker A
you were like you you sound real enthused when I texted you about me well I was talking to Kennedy actually about our potential weddings and how we want to do it and how we want to like do it
22:59
Speaker A
affordably how we both have really big families and a lot of people we do not keep in touch with anymore and like who we want to invite how it actually might make more sense to go to a destination
23:09
Speaker A
wedding because then you have less people that are even able to yeah it helps like and then whoever actually really wants to go like they're so it's kind of funny that this was our first story because that was literally the
23:21
Speaker A
conversation that me and my roommate were having as you Tex were texting me destination weddings weed a lot of people out I think but then you might miss your grandparents so I think for us that's like our most important people
23:35
Speaker A
our grandparents and so it's like that's what Ken said too yeah it's it's tough weddings are tough I don't have any grandparents so I don't like there's not I don't really have any fation it is we'll be there Lauren I have anyone in
23:47
Speaker A
my life that doesn't fly so we're ready we party it'll be good by the beach by the beach so this one is 4 hours old titled am I the [ __ ] for not letting my brother's boyfriend choose my wedding
24:03
Speaker A
dress this situation is ridiculous enough that I wouldn't be asking about it here if not for my brother not being on my side about it something that has never happened before I 24 female plan to get married in July me and my brother
24:19
Speaker A
22 male have been incredibly close to each other since childhood and for this reason I have made him into my man of Honor we've never never even gotten into a fight with each other since middle school at least until
24:33
Speaker A
now now my brother has a boyfriend 25 male who desperately wanted to be involved in my wedding planning I found his eagerness a bit odd but harmless at the time so I let him in however he started sending me links to the wedding
24:48
Speaker A
dresses he said quote I should totally be wearing which I looked over but none of them looked like my style I eventually did choose a wedding dress of my liking however my brother's boyfriend sent me a message saying quote wow so
25:05
Speaker A
you didn't even bother seeing my suggestions why did you waste my time trying to help you oh wow I told him that I did look over it but none of the dresses he sent seemed my style and then
25:18
Speaker A
he replied with quote I didn't know your style was Moby Dick the white whale wow but all right then wow wow wow wow wow wow wow that is too much sass too much sass I was shocked at what he
25:34
Speaker A
told me as he never seemed to be the type to be rude to someone not to mention he knew I have insecurities and issues around my weight that's so mean I told him that his opinion on my wedding
25:45
Speaker A
dress is frankly irrelevant because I'm the one who has the last say on it and I thought that that would make him apologize for his previous offens of remark instead he just said that I'm a controlling bride and I intentionally
25:58
Speaker A
set him up to try to help me just to waste his time for nothing I told him that if he's not happy with my decision that he doesn't need to come at all as I don't need his negativity around yeah he
26:10
Speaker A
didn't reply back however my brother called me to accuse me of treating his boyfriend badly and I shouldn't have dismissed him like that I told him how rude he was to me but he just said that his boyfriend's just a bit of a fashion
26:23
Speaker A
critic and didn't try to hurt my feelings he got the love blinders on but I told him that I just simply didn't like the wedding dresses he sent me my brother then went on saying that I only dismissed his boyfriend because I don't
26:36
Speaker A
respect him as an eminite man oh my gosh I have no idea where this even came from and that if I don't apologize personally then he'll drop out as the best man from my wedding wow I feel like this entire
26:51
Speaker A
situation is crazy and I don't know how my brother's boyfriend managed to paint me as the bad guy in front of my brother unless there's a reason I'm overlooking for why I'm the [ __ ] am I the
27:06
Speaker A
[ __ ] no no this is a t-ball one what is up with these crazy people you know what's funny too is the accusation that he doesn't or that she doesn't view him feminine or whatnot doesn't respect him because he's a more
27:22
Speaker A
feminine man oh is that I thought it was the opposite I thought that he was saying she doesn't respect him as a feminine man a feminite with reference to a man having characteristics and ways of Behaving traditionally associated
27:39
Speaker A
with women and regarded as inappropriate for a man so I think the brother is like essentially implying like you don't respect my boyfriend because he's more feminine because he likes fashion and it's like well what there's straight men
27:57
Speaker A
that love fashion like what does that yeah like no it's blank conclusions it's just like connecting this to this just cuz you want to and just cuz you're offended but in all reality she let him in almost as
28:12
Speaker A
a courtesy yeah to say okay fine like sure come be a part of the the crew but I didn't like anything you said it's easy simple it's done right there now you're about to lose your best man cuz
28:29
Speaker A
oh this is exting like again like same with Mike on the last story and now the brother on this one why are you letting a significant other mhm come between you and arguably the most important people you have in your life like they are your
28:48
Speaker A
ride or dies they are your day ones like you and your boyfriend break up who do you think is going to be there for you your sister who loves you loves you so much to make you a man of Honor like
28:57
Speaker A
yeah it's it's sometimes hard to not be manipulated by the right people I know that's what's scary about love and like relationships and like blindly trusting someone and it can be so subtle too to where it builds up and you don't realize
29:13
Speaker A
to where they're controlling like even these thoughts because clearly when you're on the outside it doesn't make sense I was just going to say also too we both just went yeah I know I'm like you go it's go you got it no you go you
29:31
Speaker A
no I well the reason I asked about um him referring to his boyfriend being a man is because at first I thought that you were saying in the story that she didn't respect his taste because he's a man oh and I'm and then I was thinking
29:47
Speaker A
it would be like even like if a if a female was doing that saying like you're not picking out the dress that I'm picking for you you know what I mean like imagine if I was doing that to you
29:57
Speaker A
like and you were mad that I didn't like your choice or like you're the one who's about to get married so like yeah you're oh sorry rewind yeah essentially yeah mixed it up so yeah exactly it's just like it just isn't my vibe that just
30:12
Speaker A
doesn't I can't even see that even Computing for a second so I don't know why again back to that conclusion that doesn't even where does that even pull any weight no that comment it's super strange I really want to see
30:26
Speaker A
pictures of the dresses now but also let's just point out that he literally called her a Mobi dick looking whale or whatever right using an insecurity against her right I don't know how the brother didn't see that and be like hey
30:41
Speaker A
that was super inappropriate like I get you're upset that like you feel like time was wasted but like you kind of inserted yourself there and like that was a low blow like you know my sister is insecure about weight issues like
30:54
Speaker A
that was unacceptable and I hope something happened behind the closed doors said he did that because otherwise that's really [ __ ] up well and are they a little insecure in their relationship to jump from oh that she
31:10
Speaker A
didn't like my dress choices to oh you're against like a feminine man I think basically it's just like why yeah there's just why make that leap when it's like come on we're talking about a wedding dress and my style yeah it's
31:28
Speaker A
just CRA no matter yeah sorry no the I'm just saying the comment is like the just totally it's weird like that was the step that was just like I don't know you go from like a little like grenade to
31:42
Speaker A
just like a nuclear bomb well to me there's not even one piece of this that could be spun to be to make sense or there's not even like you can't even break it down and be like oh well this I
31:53
Speaker A
see where they're coming from for me this entire story is just absolutely not just no just just not how it works that's not how weddings work like it it's it's never been how they work yeah who do you think you are I'm sorry like
32:05
Speaker A
yeah we have a lot of comments from op um not the [ __ ] did I miss something in the post that you asked your brother's boyfriend to pick out dresses for you not sure how you wasted his time
32:17
Speaker A
but that's even if she did ask him that it's still okay that she found a dress that she H loves more yeah that that that happens uh that's literally the thing he offered himself to help me with my wedding planning and afterwards sent
32:32
Speaker A
me unprompted links to wedding dresses and apparently I'm still the one to blame for wasting his time uh next comment that op responds to not the [ __ ] your brother does know that his boyfriend called you Moby Dick
32:45
Speaker A
right like how is he still dating someone like that much less defending him on that and op just responds as I said in the post he thinks his boyfriend was just being a quote fashion critic okay that's inexcusable wow that is you
33:03
Speaker A
can comment on the dress without fat shaming someone like I just feel like your dress is a little dated are you sure you don't want to consider something else you're still an [ __ ] for that comment but you can critique
33:16
Speaker A
the dress and not the person right and maybe that's someone who is actually a fashion critic how they would approach that or or yeah exactly if he's trying to be a fashion critic like and he really wanted to say that I don't think
33:29
Speaker A
that this dress is the most flattering for your whatever I think there could be way more flattering dresses for your body something at least a little tasteful that was just absolutely yeah unb but you know why he said it like that cuz he's pissed
33:46
Speaker A
because he wanted to make op feel bad feel bad for her choice to make her feel so insecure about that dress that she wouldn't wear it and then she consider one of his well that's why that got said
34:00
Speaker A
you care so much yeah and and honestly to be honest it would work on me which is sad to say but if if I found a dress that I absolutely loved and then somebody told me that it was a Moby Dick
34:12
Speaker A
dress then on my wedding day I'd be like I'm just me and me just wearing my emobi like you know what I mean I feel like it would get you would embrace it at least or no you would like actually get to my
34:22
Speaker A
head yeah like I would I would be like I'm going to find a different one that someone didn't label as unless I was absolutely so in love with it that it did not matter but if I had any question
34:30
Speaker A
mark even the slightest that it wasn't the right dress i' would have to I would just it would get in my head too much yeah damn Lauren you got to embra think you don't think it would at all if it
34:40
Speaker A
were me mhm what if you had like even an of questioning I'm I'm really self-conscious about my body and my weight so if someone did say like you look fat in that dress yeah I I definitely could see it happening CU so
34:55
Speaker A
you agree with me then yeah I just like it's I I hear it and I'm I'm sad about it because I also recognize that I'm like [ __ ] that's probably something we should work on yeah cuz you were making
35:05
Speaker A
me feel like I was kind of crazy no no no no like I'm I'm sitting here like thinking about myself too and I'm like this is [ __ ] up but it's it's where it's coming from too like if it's
35:14
Speaker A
coming from a place of love from a trusted person in your life the same type of person that would say Hey you have something on your face or you have something in your teeth the people that aren't afraid to call things out for the
35:30
Speaker A
benefit of you yeah not for the benefit of them or anyone else it's more so it's like if you went looked in the mirror right now you would want to fix whatever it is yeah the people that call that out
35:42
Speaker A
hopefully there's some trusted sources that you know we all have in our lives that can say might not be the best dress for you and they would do it in a way that's respectful and tries to empower you and help you end up in a better
35:57
Speaker A
place not with some hidden objective yeah I really want to start watching Say Yes to the Dress and see how people go about that because I'm like really scared to try dresses with like family cuz I could just I could like my mom I
36:09
Speaker A
love her but I could just see my mom being the one that's like nah that doesn't look great so I'm trying to like prepare myself for that but I really want to apply to Beyond Say Yes to the
36:20
Speaker A
Dress oh that's fun I think be fun to take a trip to New York but I don't know how they pick people does a guy go on no oh okay the groom doesn't see the dress until the day of right typically well I didn't
36:33
Speaker A
know if they did like interviews with the guy like are you excited for your wedding like all the b-roll that the reality shows they do they do some stuff at the wedding okay Justin wants to be on TV no I was I was wondering if I had
36:46
Speaker A
to go or if I could be like see I'll be at the house don't lie you want to be on it he wanted to be on it for sure I'll get the weekend off he covering now no I'm fine not being on uh so top comment
36:56
Speaker A
on this one before we move along was the one I read not the [ __ ] did I miss something which op did respond to um and yeah someone goes he also called you a whale so if anyone is wasting time
37:10
Speaker A
it is that man by pretending to be someone who cares about you which is true I think he just wanted an excuse to be involved in the wedding planning yeah and that was his way to do it have your
37:22
Speaker A
own wedding [ __ ] this next one I have uh it's coming from the best of red editor updates or boru for short as the subredit likes to say it is titled my husband wants to stay friends with the
37:38
Speaker A
person he cheated with I'm sorry buddy you lost that privilege ah maybe you got to hear him out about three months ago my husband confessed to me to having an affair with someone he has known since school she
37:55
Speaker A
has always been a close friend of his the affair lasted almost 2 years and he was very conflicted with whether he wanted to give up on our marriage or stay and work on it we have been together over 20 years and have three
38:11
Speaker A
young children I did not want to give up on it and encouraged him to stay he stayed and although his reasons for staying are the children we both have been working hard on rebuilding a new relationship we began marriage
38:25
Speaker A
counseling and we have a deeper communic with one another I've been initiating more intimacy and things seem to be going well from our first marriage counseling sessions he talked about his feelings for his affair partner saying he loves her and that he would like for
38:42
Speaker A
her to still play some part in his life the marriage counselor says that while he has feelings for her it wouldn't be appropriate your face I'd take back about hearing him out you I thought with time he would simply forget about her
39:00
Speaker A
and shift Focus to what's important I.E his family his wife but last week he brought her up again and wanted to know if he can reconcile with her and have a friendship with her I said I wasn't ready I'm hoping to stall this until he
39:14
Speaker A
stops asking he said he understood that it might be too soon I am worried if I never allow him to speak to her he might just start talking to her behind my back though currently he seems so committed
39:26
Speaker A
to being honest with me but that could change with time as his guilt for cheating begins to fade 2 years behind her back for 2 years as I said his main reason for staying are the kids but I'm keen on having a
39:41
Speaker A
strong relationship with us that can't be possible if she is reintroduced into his life his feelings for her will probably come flooding back if they have gone at all yeah I don't understand how he can't see that I don't know whether
39:57
Speaker A
continually blocking him from engaging with her will breed resentment over time yeah I'm sorry unfortunately only one answer the ours yeah you got to go give them the D it's not fair to you and I think you know what was really inspiring
40:13
Speaker A
to me too I was listening to Tish Cyrus she just came out on a podcast recently and I was so just inspired by her because she was talking about her insecurities when she was staying with Billy her ex-husband
40:29
Speaker A
and how she thought that if they got divorced that she would never she would just be alone forever she would never love again and you know they have all these kids together and that her parents were just this epitome of love and that
40:42
Speaker A
they just loved each other so hard they were together forever once her dad passed away her mother never remarried never took her ring off like all this stuff and then she tried so hard to keep the relationship together and then in
40:53
Speaker A
hindsight once she got out of it she realized how much just disrespect was between you know she was like even on my side like there was just disrespect in the relation yeah and then she ended up finding literally the man of her dreams
41:07
Speaker A
and she's married to him now and she's so in love and she's just over the moon and and he like he helps with like her confidence too that's what her daughter was saying Brandy and I just thought it
41:18
Speaker A
was so inspiring because it really does feel like that sometimes it does feel like how will I find someone else how will I find someone like and I can't imagine being in a marriage for that long that many years and having children
41:29
Speaker A
and then being so afraid to leave and to be alone and so I think that what I'm hearing from this story is that I feel she's probably feeling some of those things and just trying to force it to
41:40
Speaker A
work even though it doesn't sound like it it's fair to her it shouldn't like yeah I think it's really hard I I don't want to like cross boundaries over sharing but like I have family that you know stayed in an abusive
41:56
Speaker A
relationship for for years and years and a part of that was the fear of being alone the fear of not wanting to start over and I mean it was it was a really really unhealthy bad relationship I mean
42:12
Speaker A
there was abuse from every angle every angle and so it's hard but I think I think she's a great Testament to like why stay why continue to torture yourself because when you do leave like she's a success story like you do
42:29
Speaker A
deserve better you deserve someone that loves you and isn't just staying for the kids like how many times did she say that here he's made it clear he's only staying for the kids yeah only for the kids what about you yeah are you not
42:46
Speaker A
deserving of love are you not worthy of a partner like he literally had an affair behind your back for 2 years and his only concern right now is being is being friends with her still how can I can we talk can I reconcile with her
43:03
Speaker A
literally day one marriage counseling he's talking about how much he loves her yeah I mean I don't know I I don't know how you really do proceed forward I would love some therapists especially if we have any marriage and family therapists to like
43:19
Speaker A
chime in on this one like if you had a client come to you and this was what you had like where do you go from here because I I think it does breed resentment I think eventually he does go
43:33
Speaker A
behind her back again oh yeah it's inevitable where by doing it now you're I I don't know if you call it saving time but you are just you're jumping out of the car before it crashes like it's happening
43:51
Speaker A
this is put your parachute on at least he's literally shown that cuz obviously they're not going to be friends how how could you go back to being friends and in all reality he h that's where his feelings and his love is so
44:08
Speaker A
it'll be best for you it's going to be best for him it's going to be best for your kids yeah because happy Parents separated are better than sad parents together yeah for any kid and so you're just doing it now before it's going to
44:26
Speaker A
inevitably happen [Music] it's happen soon any and I honestly think it's probably healthier for your kids not to see cheating not to have to deal with those conflicting feelings of you know keeping secrets or you know kids that sometimes parents that are
44:43
Speaker A
having Affairs put their kids in really bad positions and then you can more have the conversation with your kids which is probably very healthy depending on their what are the ages I they didn't mention three young children okay depending on
44:56
Speaker A
how young they are it can be an opportunity to say you know me and Dad are splitting up it's we just we don't we're not I don't know however there's there's so I've seen so many things on ways people say it but having that
45:11
Speaker A
conversation with them instead of it being in such a Negative light I mean it still kind of is cu it's all based off of the cheating from before and everything but but you don't mention that to your children exactly you can
45:21
Speaker A
more say it's just we're not working out and it can be a healthy yeah we still love you you know that won't change I love your dad as a friend but we're just not meant to be anymore and we'll both
45:36
Speaker A
find our people and then when the kids both see them happier and hopefully there's not this yeah this war back and forth then you know the kids will be okay but I'm not to be honest I'm not really getting that Vibe and it's always
45:49
Speaker A
hard to tell off of just one little submission you know but I'm kind of getting the vibe that it's more like the wife is almost using that as way to hold on to him and then he's convinced that
46:00
Speaker A
that's the right thing to do as well because it sounds like she's just not really ready to let go for herself because she didn't really say like I want this I don't maybe I missed it but I don't think she said much I want this
46:11
Speaker A
to work for the kids sake it was kind of like I want this to work and we have kids you know and the other thing too is that usually what I've been trying to do at least lately is that I try not to
46:23
Speaker A
tell people if they should break up or not if that's not really a part of the question question in their submission but this is one of those stories where I don't think she asked us that you know there was nowhere where she was like
46:34
Speaker A
should I leave him I think she was just kind of asking for advice on how do I handle the fact he wants to be friends with her where to go from where to go from there and and divorce is where and
46:44
Speaker A
I think that for me this one would be a hard one not to give that advice because I just think she deserves so much more so much more happiness there's somebody that will love her so much or would be
46:53
Speaker A
so freeing yeah imagine that after you have someone that literally found your replacement and they're actively telling you no i' I'd rather do this but I'll stay here to keep the family unit right then switch that to someone who's just
47:07
Speaker A
like obsessed with you and it's just like what you were telling the story about your friend or whoever no uh Tish Cyrus it's my C's Mom I wish you was my friend I'm sorry yes but just how that
47:19
Speaker A
that change and how you know God it's just not my night oh you got this but just how boing that can be yeah well and I will say too that she mentioned that she went into like she was she said she was extremely unwell
47:35
Speaker A
for at least a month she was just like absolutely unwell not I think that she it took her more than a month but she said for a month she was like bedridden just just it was awful because she also
47:47
Speaker A
how can you not be you're losing a big part of your life your identity like divorce obviously isn't easy but I think it's easier than being miserable yeah and she had other stuff going on in her life at that time too so it's not to say
48:02
Speaker A
that once you know if you op if you were to leave your partner that it's all of a sudden going to just be like rainbows and roses and you're going to find the love of your life immediately like it's
48:11
Speaker A
going to be a lot of pain yeah but there is happiness on the other side I know it we have an update oh it's here so the update was posted 5 days later I brought up in our recent counseling session that
48:23
Speaker A
I found it triggering that he my husband still wanted some form of relationship with his affair partner after all the damage she has caused our family my husband's response that while he understood that he was still Keen that
48:37
Speaker A
in time he would be able to I guess maybe have a relationship with her in due time is like he would be Keen to be able to do that all the advice our counselor offered was that while my husband had these feelings for
48:50
Speaker A
his affair partner it would not be appropriate I guess that implies that if his feelings for his affair partner fade down to being just platonic that it would be all right I wasn't too happy with her suggestion and not sure why she
49:03
Speaker A
made that suggestion later that evening I checked through my husband's phone something which I have never done before he had messaged his affair partner a few days before giving details of what we discussed in marriage counseling he said
49:17
Speaker A
to her he was still quote fighting to have a friendship with her she had replied back saying that if he was committed to repairing his marriage he probably shouldn't be bringing her up as it would hinder any progress we would be
49:31
Speaker A
making to which he replied he would quote spend the rest of his life asking until she says yes right aair partner didn't respond to that wow yeah see it's not surprising I mean it's just it's going to happen I have to add that the
49:49
Speaker A
recent message he had sent was the only one that had been sent over the last 12 weeks I know he could have been sending messages and then delet delting them but then why leave that most recent one he
50:00
Speaker A
could have deleted that one too apart from the feelings he has for his affair partner still things with my husband are going well we have more intimacy and are spending more time together as a couple it is just that the feelings for his
50:12
Speaker A
aair partner that are causing an issue our marriage counselor has cautioned us and explained that if his feelings for her are still just as strong a year into recovery we may need to rethink whether this is worth saving if if you want to
50:27
Speaker A
wait that long yeah I'm honestly shocked the therapist said that yeah that seems like like therapists don't usually like kind of like it almost feels like the therapist is trying to send her a message and be like ma'am well the
50:44
Speaker A
therapist gave him hope oh if your feelings fade down to just platonic then this will be great things can move from platonic what world do you live on to not real fast yeah like I don't know what planet that's that's
51:00
Speaker A
weird it's an it's we need we need our therapists from uh group therapy group T to hop on we need Steph and Jessica to like give their check this therapist yeah like Steph Jessica where you at girls come on pipe in but I know we have
51:20
Speaker A
a lot of other therapists that listen but our group te is really fun and then they chime in and give like their actual educated we give all our BS and then they come on with this super polish so
51:32
Speaker A
eloquent and we're like um yeah we meant that yeah why we even talk [ __ ] but yeah this is this is this is done for me yeah I think this is going Beyond like he's maybe not trying to be cruel here but at
51:49
Speaker A
a certain point like even him saying like I will keep asking until she says yes that is cruel well that's not fair it's just make the call like let's do it do it now yeah yeah dude it's so so tough
52:07
Speaker A
relationships he knows it's not going to be a friendship relationships can just be so complicated it's they're hard it'd just be nice not to be with anyone not have any friends or nothing no one nothing can I'm kidding that wouldn't be
52:18
Speaker A
nice either Justin just like today just like it's hard to tell when he's kidding I know he's kidding but I'm like I'm building off with the sarcasm you know what well actually that's not true you've got me a couple of
52:29
Speaker A
times I'm so Gul I'm so gullible I just can't I usually can read sarcasm pretty well but I I do definitely get stumped by people sometimes I I actually kind of appreciate when I do though I think it's
52:44
Speaker A
kind of fun cuz I'm really sarcastic yeah and so are you really oh yeah she's tripped us up a bunch of times oh you're being sarcastic are you being oh she I don't like this this is starting to
52:59
Speaker A
feel like Austin Land again oh my God we're so ridiculous oh my god let's move on no I would have to look through that I need like a break how would you have done that yeah while I was responding I
53:11
Speaker A
was thinking about all the no I mean I already have a hard enough time where sometimes you start reading a story and then I'm reflecting on what I said from the past story and I'm like oh [ __ ] did
53:20
Speaker A
I say something wrong did I say something bad and then I miss something in the next story and then I answer incorrectly for the next part and the next part I'm like oh did I say something wrong again so yeah I yes I
53:31
Speaker A
daydream sometimes and I'm thinking like oh I wonder why that sound panel is just a little bit off and then or something just stupid irrelevant and then I'm like oh [ __ ] and I lean over and kind of
53:44
Speaker A
start to try to read try to see nice okay okay well I got I got it guys I got it don't worry okay um this next one it might need a little context like you guys know what a ter terrarium is oh
53:59
Speaker A
yeah ooh did you have that one I feel like I do but no you know what tell me I'm not sure am I the [ __ ] for canceling our anniversary trip because my husband drowned my terrarium oh okay no I don't know what
54:15
Speaker A
that [Laughter] is okay let's get into it wow okay I 29 female traveled across the country to visit a company regarding an incredible job offer I spent 2 days touring the company to decide if it would be the
54:30
Speaker A
right fit for me after years of self-employment after meeting with the company I visited my sister 32 female and her family a few Towns over we barely get to see each other because of work and distance so it was wonderful to
54:44
Speaker A
spend a few days with her the family and her new baby I was gone for a total of 8 days when I returned home I was excited to spend time with my husband 33 male and tell him about the trip my visit
54:58
Speaker A
with my sister my impression of the city Etc we were meant to be celebrating our anniversary and decided to put off the discussion about whether or not I should accept the job offer until after our anniversary getaway i' had arranged for
55:12
Speaker A
us to go on a luxury train ride because he's a big train Enthusiast and we were meant to leave for the trip 3 days after I got home this is when the problem started I have a very large closed
55:26
Speaker A
bioactive terrarium which I made with my mother 15 years ago it's one of my favorite things I have of her from before she passed this terrarium is my pride and joy and has come with me everywhere since we planted it it was
55:44
Speaker A
always super healthy and beautiful and I've only ever had to open it four times to do little maintenance and watering my husband knows all of this which is why I don't understand why he decided to tamper with it in my absence I didn't
56:01
Speaker A
notice the night I got home because I was exhausted but the next morning I went to check on the terrarium to find it in a terrible State The Roots were rotting the plants were drying and molding he told me that the day I left
56:16
Speaker A
he poured a few cups of water into the vessel and sealed it again I was so mad I cried and it turned into a huge argument because quote it's just a plant and quote all you do is look at it
56:32
Speaker A
anyways he called me ungrateful and overdramatic and that I should appreciate that his intention was to help me and that he didn't ask because he didn't want to bother me on my trip I ended up canceling our anniversary plans
56:45
Speaker A
partly because I was so upset that I didn't want to go and partly because I wanted to try and Salvage the plants and that would require time he hit the roof when I told him and is now sleeping in a
56:57
Speaker A
separate room and refusing to speak to me because according to him I'm being petty and trying to destroy our marriage am I being oversensitive about my plans my friends are pretty evenly split and have pointed out that he was just trying
57:11
Speaker A
to be thoughtful however misguided it was no chance you Lauren okay well first I would like to say that I actually did know what that was okay cuz I looked it up and it's exactly what I was picturing but
57:27
Speaker A
when you said that her husband her correct yeah her husband drowned the terrarium I was picturing like a spider or something she said drown you know so I'm like okay clearly I'm wrong but anyway just to set the record straight
57:41
Speaker A
yes for those that don't know a terrarium they're so cool they are it's essentially like a dome like I've seen them mostly be domes I've seen them on Tik talk being made yeah and so once you set up the plants and the bio
57:55
Speaker A
environment wants to zoom in yeah yeah yeah we can add some pictures on the tube um but once you set up the plants and the environment and you add water essentially you create this atmosphere where it's self- sustaining it's an
58:09
Speaker A
ecosystem it's an ecosystem you don't add water the condensation evaporation Water Cycle System happens within this Dome so cool it is amazing it's so cool and so the fact that like she made this with her mom it's 15 years old it's
58:26
Speaker A
survived oh I'd be pissed and then he pours multiple cups mhm of water and I didn't want to disturb you while you're on yeah come on what kind of relationship is that I'm sorry like to not be able to just send a quick text no
58:43
Speaker A
he could have that's what I'm saying he's just it's him trying to do all these dumb things to like feels like he did on him right that this has to be Cruel Intentions right it doesn't how could it not be I don't yeah I'm like he
58:57
Speaker A
I don't know and if he was act actually just that like unaware and he just didn't realize that he actually thought that he was doing something nice then he's still in the wrong because he should have turned around and been like I am so
59:11
Speaker A
sorry and not gotten defensive and say you're trying to destroy our marriage that's where it went really wrong yeah you just look at it anyways that's so so rude you can apply that to so many things yeah you just look at your
59:24
Speaker A
dog right no well no I mean sometimes I throw a ball but sentimental items of any sort oh you just go and look at that yeah why do we keep any [ __ ] in our houses it's it's
59:36
Speaker A
that classic thing that people do when they're backed into a corner they know they're wrong and then they try to fight fire with fire to just blow it up into again like the other the first two stories we're going to blow this up into
59:51
Speaker A
something so much more when we're not even focused on the terrarium anymore were focused on okay now I'm considering you as my partner not because you wrecked this but now also because how you're responding to it yeah well and
60:07
Speaker A
it's like I just can't imagine like and every relationship has their own boundaries but if you had something like this like I would never just like do something to someone else's prized possession without talking to them where it's like hey hun like you're gone your
60:26
Speaker A
terrarium is looking a little dry like should I water it right that's the thing too is that with plants specifically every single plant is different so if you're going to start doing something with it and it's not yours and you don't
60:39
Speaker A
know you should always ask that's a no-brainer why would he think he's a terrarium expert all of a sudden and start pouring water in it that's what I like even if it a brand new little plant that she got from the market one day and
60:51
Speaker A
she was excited about it and it didn't have all the sentimental meaning it's still why would you not just ask how do I water the plant here's the thing we are 5 years in I would not dare touch
61:02
Speaker A
those plants out there he'd be dead I would not even attempt I would have Morgan on FaceTime I would have a cup where you can see how much like one cup third cup half cup Morgan how much exactly do you want me on video to put
61:17
Speaker A
in this plant cuz that voids all of my responsibility but like something I think about is like I have my grandpa's dog take from the Vietnam War yeah I'm on a trip I leave it home so it'san goes
61:30
Speaker A
and like thinks oh I'm going to do something nice I'm going to get it all buffed and shined out [ __ ] no that would be an equivalent where I'm just like I never mentioned I would like that
61:40
Speaker A
I you know I wouldn't want that because I like it all scuffed up it's taking steps that you don't need to for some weird reason cuz you want iy someone's clothes without realizing that it's dry clean only or something
61:54
Speaker A
like that it's just like those are should ask that is literally me the amount of times my dad has dried a load of my clothes and ruined them all oh and I get it's a good intention right that one is actually usually
62:09
Speaker A
always a very good intention does it suck yeah um overall vote on this one not the [ __ ] I think her reaction at least for me like I think it's Justified like her immediate response is like I
62:21
Speaker A
need to stay home I need to take care of these these plants and see if I can salvage them like understand like and he should honestly as a good partner he should understand too like I [ __ ] up
62:31
Speaker A
you got to fix this we'll take it the next weekend there we go uh top comment not the [ __ ] and I doubt your husband was trying to help right firstly if you have only opened it a few times then he
62:46
Speaker A
knows it doesn't get watered that often secondly he knows how much it means to you so should know that you would have taken care of it before you went or would have left left very detailed instructions which that's what I was
62:59
Speaker A
thinking too I'm like I feel like that's something where she would have like double checked it's good I know I'm going to be gone for8 days it's clearly going to be fine 100% there's no need to [ __ ] with it four times in 15
63:10
Speaker A
years yeah oh on that trip just happened to be the time how long have they been together again uh we'll get there so the comment goes on also how big is it would a few cups of water been way too much
63:22
Speaker A
even if he was just trying to be helpful the you just at it comment is also strange that's what everyone does with their plants why else would you have a plant literally you guys I have a forest in my
63:34
Speaker A
house I don't I just keep getting them and they just sit I don't know what to do with them like I just look at them op response of plant energy I've literally never had to open it or water it in the
63:47
Speaker A
time we've been together and even when I did water it in the past it has never required more than a few tablespoons of water I've talked about it before but he clearly forgot next comment down he didn't forget he maliciously killed
64:04
Speaker A
something you love but why dude this is 9 days old I'm going to the account right now to see if there's an update why what's the point I he's jealous of a plant was he mad about the trip like
64:18
Speaker A
does he want to break up I don't I just it just doesn't make sense it's like someone just going and pushing their car up brand new car off of a cliff it's like did you try to do you want
64:30
Speaker A
Insurance like what's where's the why yeah was he jealous of how much she loved it it's just I mean where's the why I guess people are crazy yeah they are people do weird [ __ ] seriously every day or maybe he just didn't like how it
64:50
Speaker A
looked I don't know also the neighbors right now like it's thumping I literally thought like the ceiling was about to come down I'm just like oh my God video on Tik Tok at the party upstairs oh my God my neighbors are so loud you guys is
65:01
Speaker A
nuts um lots of comments from op and by a lot I mean literally four oh um but op did respond to the top one which I read someone goes info did you give him instructions before you left no I didn't
65:18
Speaker A
I've never given him any instructions it's self- sustaining for the most part and even if I barely have to do anything the most I do is move move it a little bit to make sure it's not getting too
65:28
Speaker A
much or too little sunlight and wipe the vessel down to keep it dust free I haven't had to water it for the years we've been together yeah which he knows CRA um people are asking about the job like is your taking a job going to
65:44
Speaker A
necessitate whoa necessitate yeah a move that he's unhappy about or change the balance of who the primary bread winner is this seems like a tantrum followed by gaslighting not the [ __ ] I'm already the primary bread winner so I don't think that's it it
66:03
Speaker A
would mean a lot more income for the family though which is a good thing for both of us yes it would mean moving but I wouldn't take the job if he's not comfortable with it so what the f oh well and someone
66:16
Speaker A
asked a question so you went on a trip and you didn't even have a discussion about his feelings about moving op I went on a trip to get a better understanding of the job and the company we agreed that I would go assess the job
66:27
Speaker A
offer and then we would have a decision to decide if it's worth moving for I never made any decisions about the job so I don't know where this is coming from the comment that started it does have an edit based on op's responses
66:42
Speaker A
there he is feeling jealous and emasculated though he will never admit to that he sees you advancing further out of his league and is scared people or worse you will start questioning why you are with him he's also feeding his
66:59
Speaker A
ego by gaslighting you into believing you need to gravel to be with him H okay that's some serious psychological analyzation I can't really comment on it because it's kind of it's speculating quite a bit Yeah so it's hard for me to
67:21
Speaker A
know I will speculate enough to say that this was definitely not not good intentions I agree it doesn't feel like it I think it's where it stems from it doesn't feel like it's a good place no I feel confident saying that there you go
67:34
Speaker A
at least I think we should um get one yes I know that's what I'm we have the perfect window for it now we we do if anybody has one please send it to me I want to see yours yeah we should I'm
67:48
Speaker A
down guys you guys I'm really sad you said I was a good plant mom you are she killed one of your plants one of mine no your yours survived yeah she did she Babys out my plants for a while like
68:00
Speaker A
four months I thought they were still here oh no no no I I gave them back um it's just a temporary foster position no I talked about wanting an albino Monera and one of our amazing heard of an albino one they're
68:16
Speaker A
beautiful and one of our amazing listeners sent me a stem of one a clipping and I tried to follow the instruction Cs and it didn't make it oh cute yeah let's have a moment aside wow it's gorgeous let's just end this story with
68:34
Speaker A
a moment of silence sorry I can't believe I've never heard of these so pretty aren't they beautiful yeah you can this is probably my toughest plant loss they're so pretty I also love this type of plant too that's your Vibe for
68:49
Speaker A
sure oh my vibe I'm a I have head space and the meditation ad yeah a good and they'll do these morning wakeup videos and one time I had one where it was um they were showing the um just different
69:04
Speaker A
types of these plants and how to take care of them how to decorate them how you can just cut off one leaf and put it here and there prop it was so pretty oh the grafting yeah plant videos I get
69:16
Speaker A
lost in them the Orchid ones where they like repot them and cut off all the roots I haven't seen those wild wow but here moment of silence moment of silence okay enjoy an ad okay I'm excited for this one you
69:34
Speaker A
found I'm a little scared I'm a little scared I went on another Reddit show today and uh it was pretty interesting not knowing a single story that was about to come at me right little nerve-wracking now you understand I get it I get it now being
69:49
Speaker A
and all were talking about at one time we're like it's almost like sets you up sometimes like it does well no it like sets you up to sometimes like accidentally say something wrong or that you don't mean because it's it's
70:02
Speaker A
the shock value and sometimes you've as we were talking about to sit on so many things going through your head there's been times where it struck a cord from something that happened when I was a child and then I responded that way and
70:14
Speaker A
then I it was so funny too cuz I was like and I stand by that and then I'm like wait wait actually no I'm going to r that one back in yeah so now yeah you you get it you
70:24
Speaker A
get it I do all right am I the [ __ ] for telling my wife to return it all my pregnant wife 26 female and I 35 male are really struggling at the moment as I lost my job and my wife had to quit her
70:36
Speaker A
job as She's suffering from hyper mesis gravidarum not sure if I'm saying that correctly we've used up our savings and currently are living off of our credit cards but I've got a job lined starting in March my wife is very close to her
70:51
Speaker A
sister 31 female and a few days ago she confided in her that we are struggling her sister has never liked me but has always been polite to me she has always kept me at arms length despite my attempts at trying to foster a warmer
71:04
Speaker A
relationship a few days ago my sister-in-law came to visit while I was away and she was appalled at the state of the house and the lack of baby supplies as the baby room was Bare Bones and we hadn't bought many baby things
71:16
Speaker A
when I arrived back home she had given me a lecture on taking better care of her sister and scolded me for not getting ready for the baby the next day she came back and she had bought things for the house and the baby my wife also
71:29
Speaker A
told her that we had to sell her car to pay off some of the bills and rent again my sister-in-law had to show off that she bought her a car and to top it off on Sunday she sent her 50k and then
71:40
Speaker A
texted her this in quotes this is your money and your babies do not use it on that man if you need more tell me and I'll send more and remember wherever I am there's a home for you I feel like
71:53
Speaker A
her sister is trying to make me look like a failure and I expressed that to my wife my wife and I argued and in a fit of anger my wife said that I only feel like a failure because I've been
72:03
Speaker A
failing she yeah she has apologized since but I still stand by telling her to return everything as I feel like accepting her sister's so-called generosity is a way to manipulate my wife into thinking I'm a bad husband ooo I feel like
72:22
Speaker A
really I'm like not sure who to analyze as far as like Cruel Intentions for this one I feel like initially like obviously the husband's the one writing in like am I [ __ ] for telling her to like return it all which
72:38
Speaker A
I think your specific problem that you're writing in about yeah like I would say you know it's not like the greatest reaction because maybe you're ego is hurt because like you're an an unimaginably tough position you have a baby on the way you
72:58
Speaker A
both lost your jobs she's dealing with health complications because of the pregnancy it's so dire they had to sell her car for bills so yeah he's embarrassed he's maybe dealing with depression like there's so much that's going on there and so for him to like
73:15
Speaker A
freak out and be like return it all like yeah he's he's hurting too his ego's bruised but like the sister is also doing you a massive huge favor I just think it's like it's interesting like a lot of the comments
73:29
Speaker A
op is throwing in like she's never liked me um this 50k is for you and your baby don't spend it on that man like I feel like is there context missing like what has op done that like would give the
73:46
Speaker A
sister this this feeling but like I think the sister's just trying to be a good sister it's not it doesn't feel like it's Cruel Intentions it's literally just her making sure her sister is taken care of yeah you do wonder where that
74:02
Speaker A
comment's coming from though because that that changes the whole dynamic of everything and that in the wrong light would make you want to say return it all yeah because she's not respecting us she's not respecting me as your partner
74:18
Speaker A
also but also in that position do you not look at it and say well that's really shitty but also take you know take the hit don't look the gift horse in the mouth right so like yeah you take
74:34
Speaker A
a punch in the face but you also take like what could be a Saving Grace to where you can actually use that to get on your feet and boom you're off and then you deal with whatever the in the
74:50
Speaker A
the relationship issues with her are it all depends on where your wife stands if she is 100% got your back on your side you're a team then whatever comments her sister makes doesn't matter until they start changing her opinion of
75:09
Speaker A
you I you know well I think it's interesting because she said this is for she gave her the money and then she said this is for you and for the baby and she didn't say do not spend it on your
75:20
Speaker A
husband do not send spend it on whatever op's name is she said do not spend it on that man so there is a lot of um there's something going on there that that we're not aware of I think this story is
75:35
Speaker A
there's not a lot of substance in here to really understand the dynamic between the two if there's something that happened maybe actually I don't want to put ideas out there but what were the ages again so the wife pregnant wife 26
75:50
Speaker A
female and then the husband 25 male or sorry 35 male and the husband 35 male so nine years and then the uh sister or sister-in-law to op is 31 female there's something going on here but what's interesting is this is coming
76:11
Speaker A
from op I think obviously he's trying to paint the sister-in-law in a bad light like don't spend it on that man but he didn't like necessarily need to include a a lot of what he included too right like this is very intentioned also from
76:30
Speaker A
him like I'm I'm really sitting over here analyzing but that's fine but even still then why why even question and put your foot forward and say no we're going to return it all honestly that's the case if he's in the
76:43
Speaker A
wrong why like so I mean [ __ ] yeah I'm just realizing so I'm looking at the comments and in really big letters one of the comment says Opie has been unemployed for 2 years oh his pride didn't mind living off of his wife who
77:02
Speaker A
had to leave her job 5 months ago it's taken that long for him to finally line up a job for himself it's no wonder his sister-in-law doesn't like him and why she told his wife the money isn't for
77:13
Speaker A
him so did I not process that I didn't no no that was not mentioned so how did that person find it out I don't know look at his comments what do they say H okay yeah so op does respond to somebody
77:28
Speaker A
asking why did you lose your most recent job was this pregnancy planned but good good question yeah and then op responded and said almost two years ago so I think op read it as when did you lose your job Yep this baby
77:43
Speaker A
wasn't planned and it happened despite our diligent efforts my wife is on birth control but a happy surprise nonetheless I wonder how long they've been together yeah cuz that would be like if they've been together since the wife was 17 and
78:02
Speaker A
like like there's so much context they always leave out well it's hard to respond without that because it's fishy instantly you flip yeah well and I think given this like he's been unemployed this long like we you know we've seen the markets right
78:21
Speaker A
now like people are trying to get jobs we we've had listener wrin on father NOS where I think there was one person that applied to like 200 jobs remote not remote like it is a struggle right now yeah but at the same
78:36
Speaker A
time like you get to a point where like you might be overqualified but like need to go work at a coffee place like to keep some like semblance of like Financial like stability right cuz the flip side of the coin is sure you could
78:50
Speaker A
have someone trying and actually making a legitimate effort or you could have someone who's fine sitting back and hanging out on wife's money and maybe spending it very irresponsibly to put them more in a risky financial position and if that's the
79:09
Speaker A
context then yeah I I would be like the sister too here's for you my sister and for your well-being I don't want him to have any part of it because he'll just go blow it all like that's that's the
79:21
Speaker A
context you need it feels like that's what it's coming from which I I'm Blown Away by the sister's kindness like how amazing is that to make sure like here's all the baby stuff here's a car here's 50k like that is amazing that is family
79:39
Speaker A
that has your back and like I guess like looking at it like this too like the husband should be grateful that your baby has someone that amazing in their life but instead he called it showing off I think that's his ego he's just
79:53
Speaker A
it's yeah which is abolutely crazy and so the overall vote here is you're the [ __ ] okay and it's so this one right here you're the [ __ ] what sort of husband are you if you want your wife to
80:04
Speaker A
be without a safety net for her and your child just because it bruises your ego that you cannot support them well enough I understand that losing your job can be difficult but you know what is more difficult being pregnant and expecting a
80:16
Speaker A
child without any sort of Financial Security her sister is generous and caring for her she doesn't care for you but you know what you are not giving her many reasons why she with this Behavior ooo you are literally putting yourself a
80:28
Speaker A
priority over your pregnant wife and your future child that is very true she is not manipulating your wife into thinking you are a bad husband you are acting like one and uh that's really true because like you get to a point where like
80:43
Speaker A
there's certain battles in your life where like Pride or you know like like asking someone for money and they they make you know a comment like the gold digger one like where like the sister gave her sister the money but like kind
80:57
Speaker A
of was like oh well this is my gold digging money you get to vulnerable positions where you don't have the luxury at that point to say no so it's like for him for him to literally like oh you need to send it back because my
81:11
Speaker A
ego is bruised so you would rather have your ego plated than your wife and baby taken care of yeah and then there's even better people out there where you see like on the videos on Tik Tok where someone who's very much struggling will
81:26
Speaker A
just happen to be in front of the right Creator at the right time and they say here's $10,000 like kind of like a Mr Beast thing right yeah and you can either uh keep it or double it for the
81:38
Speaker A
next person and you'll see people like double yeah or I saw a video where um this one guy went and he really helped out this homeless guy and he gave him like got him a hotel room got him a
81:50
Speaker A
shower and all this stuff gave him a bunch of money and the guy went back and just distribute it among all the other homeless people at his shelter or place and when else could you not need money more than then and still to have that
82:04
Speaker A
generosity so there are you know not in a negative context like this but there are people who still who who aren't in positions to refuse still take the little bit that they could use and still go and help
82:18
Speaker A
everyone else I've been seeing so many positive videos lately and I think it's finally just like my algorithm has like cleansed itself but I've seen some amazing videos of like this guy who was homeless and was doing art and tick
82:35
Speaker A
tocker YouTube guy saw him got him a hotel room and then helped him start selling his art his art went for thousands on eBay I cry at every single one of those videos I I just think like there's so many amazing people out there
82:48
Speaker A
and like I think you you guys listening like we have an amazing Community I think you know we tried the year of change last year we supported some amazing Charities and like I think take this as your reminder like if you see
83:01
Speaker A
someone struggling give them 20 bucks like if you don't have cash offer to buy them food and let them pick something off the menu like just do something for anyone you can like right this week next week like well and when that's done and
83:16
Speaker A
received in that way maybe you don't end up in the position where this husband is yeah with the sister right because if fishy if it was that way then the sister wouldn't have any problem it'd be like I'll help you I'll help you guys or not
83:32
Speaker A
and and even the context of and don't let your husband he doesn't even get a title I think you pointed that out early let Lauren did don't don't give any money to that that man that'd be like me
83:42
Speaker A
calling Lauren like that girl like oh you're going to go record with that girl tonight you'd be like what what so clearly there's something about well and I actually I I skimmed through that this but I didn't read it all the way through
83:57
Speaker A
when I was reading to you guys so that I could also have a little bit of an element of surprise so it is it is it did give a lot more context I think going back to finding out that he hadn't
84:06
Speaker A
been working for two years and also I mean yeah to your point it's he doesn't have the luxury of returning this stuff right now and what they got to do is look out for the best interest of this
84:19
Speaker A
baby that they're bringing into this world and so it is it is pretty silly for him to even consider having her return it I do think in certain situations um for example you know I was talking about how me and my roomate
84:32
Speaker A
were're talking about hypothetical weddings I was saying how I don't think that I'll get much money from my family and I don't want to spend a lot of money on my wedding and even if my significant others mom or dad insists on pay I would
84:50
Speaker A
be a little bit nervous about accepting that because I'd be worried that it's going to be their show then for the wedding but not only that but I would be worried that it would be used against me like oh well I paid for your wedding so
85:02
Speaker A
I want you to watch my yeah animals or something it's it's one of those things where I understand the principle of not wanting to accept favors from people because you don't want it to be held against you or to like you know whatever
85:16
Speaker A
it is yeah totally get it but like in this situation like you guys were saying he doesn't have the luxury to do that and it's not just like a it's not a petty thing it's it's real life it's
85:28
Speaker A
it's concerns it's it's not having a job it's wanting to bring a kid into this world and have them be set up comfortably so yeah it and and the good thing is is that he did do an edit and
85:41
Speaker A
he said okay I get it I'm the [ __ ] I'll I'll apologize to my wife and to my sister-in-law it hurt but thank you for the brutal feedback wow okay so growth there is growth there there's growth
85:55
Speaker A
well yeah there's hope there's hope here yeah it's really hard like I I can't even imagine that stress anxiety like they were practicing safe sex she was on birth control you know whatever means they were doing as he said and then you
86:11
Speaker A
know you get this accidental pregnancy which they're excited about now but that weight of the world like that pressure and then the wife can't work it's just it's a lot and I know there's a lot lot of people out there that are struggling
86:26
Speaker A
right now and it's it's a lot so I mean but this response this edit yeah speaks to character because how often do we see them just Double Down fight everyone in the comments and just say nope you're all stupid he did good by this it's
86:44
Speaker A
actually I'm surprised yeah I hope we get another update like baby's here things have gotten better with sister-in-law yeah yeah me too me too good okay Justin you ready here you go yeah am I finishing her off yeah cuz you
87:01
Speaker A
said I was last you're last and then Lauren got one for patreon that's real juicy o oh and my tab just to edit myself just to be clear I would love to do favors for whoever ends up being my
87:14
Speaker A
husband if it's my current boyfriend um we'll play this I would love love love to do favors for his family and and all of that whatnot but it's it's more of the fact of like you don't want to be in
87:25
Speaker A
a situation if somebody can hold things over your head yeah if someone you just don't know and so it just makes me a little nervous yeah I feel that so I've had stuff used against me it's not fun
87:34
Speaker A
and then it like it makes you not want to do things going forward because of like you getting taken advantage of yeah it's just or like things used against you yeah I think and even that's kind of why I was nervous I didn't want to I was
87:49
Speaker A
really nervous about having my my birthday party out of the country like a travel birthday party because I was thinking I don't want people to feel like they have to do this and this is something that they I wanted it to feel
88:02
Speaker A
like a vacation that they would want to do just just because like get all the friends together because it makes me feel so guilty and it makes I don't want to feel that it's even though people are indebted in any way yeah I don't know
88:17
Speaker A
what it is that I but I just I get this weird guilt thing with money where I just don't feel like I ever want to accept it from people we've been over this though you deserve to be celebrated
88:27
Speaker A
like people obviously like yeah there that's that's an amazing intention you had behind that where it's like I just want everyone to come because they want to come and have a good time but it's like no Lauren it is okay that your
88:37
Speaker A
friends showed up and supported you and wanted to celebrate you enough to join you on a trip like you deserve to be celebrated thanks yeah yeah Warren yeah Justin needs a little mic flag so when our content gets stolen people know
88:54
Speaker A
what I do dog what that darn dare dog leaving the station here we go that darn dare dog doing down there the conductors the Train's starting to roll well I'm we're going ready last one here we go I just want to beat
89:11
Speaker A
knaf anywhere else I'd be a 10 okay anyway I was trying to think of the lyrics but I can't memorize music I literally know the first two lines keep going let's hear it start it from the top I'm just Ken anywhere else I'd be a
89:35
Speaker A
[Music] 10 yeah see you got more than I did you actual words can we can we move along yeah Justin you can end the episode now sorry I'm just so excited to be borrowing the sweatshirt from you morg
89:50
Speaker A
Morgan you forgot my name oh I just added an extra letter it's I wish there was a mute button for you guys's mics okay fine okay sorry go ahead Justin are we ready let's do it you can do it good job
90:08
Speaker A
good job yeah good job you're doing so good okay eight hours ago wow am I the [ __ ] for telling my wife that pregnancy hormones aren't a blank check for verbal abuse damn so new we do not
90:23
Speaker A
have a rating yet okay my wife is currently pregnant and about 6 months along this is her first pregnancy and a planned and wanted pregnancy the first trimester was great but around the time we hit the second trimester she became very aggressive if
90:41
Speaker A
I cook dinner it's not just wrong but it's quote [ __ ] disgusting get this away from me if I clean the house and put things away I get yelled at for putting things back because she now wanted them put somewhere different I've
90:57
Speaker A
been yelled at for waking up for work for playing music she didn't like for making coffee and she didn't like the smell and a hundred others it's gotten to the point where there is at least one explosion per day
91:12
Speaker A
where i'm yelled at and insulted I've tried to speak to her about this but every time she handwaves it as it's just the pregnancy hormones it makes you crazy you'll just have to deal with that I well aware of the effect that
91:26
Speaker A
pregnancy hormones have but I don't believe it justifies the level of verbal abuse coming my way finally the other day I told her after a particular rough yelling session I said that pregnancy hormones don't justify yelling or abuse
91:43
Speaker A
to your partner this wasn't received well it led to more yelling and her calling me an [ __ ] so am I the [ __ ] no I I'm just curious like what she was like towards him before this yeah cuz
92:03
Speaker A
it's interesting to me if she's not able to even reflect and see that her behavior is not very nice was she already kind of spicy to him and then she got a little bit more spicy and so she doesn't really see the difference or
92:16
Speaker A
was it like a total 180 it's a good point so let me there's one one little paragraph here after the question okay we get an edit well it's just added a paragraph It's just just just some additional okay yeah okay little bonus
92:30
Speaker A
holding off on us huh Justin and to try to answer some questions I expect to come up no we have never had this issue before speaking with the doctor she had no specific risks or complications over the average I've asked her in her calmer
92:46
Speaker A
moments about how she is feeling about the pregnancy and she is saying she's excited pregnancy is an awkward time period but she is very excited for the baby to come honestly as someone who's not been pregnant yet obviously like we
93:01
Speaker A
can't relate here but I have a sister-in-law and I had a conversation you know she's had two kids now and she loves being pregnant and so I said Amy would you be my surrogate and my brother was sitting there and he goes absolutely
93:17
Speaker A
not and I go why cuz Amy had said yes she was all on board oh down ready to do it and my brother goes Amy gets mean when she's pregnant I guess she is just like actually terrible so I'm as you're
93:36
Speaker A
reading this I'm laughing because I'm like this is literally probably what Amy was like and I think it's hard cuz like oh get this away from me it's disgusting she's probably just trying not to throw up but I do completely
93:51
Speaker A
agree like you being pregnant is no excuse for the verbal abuse I'm getting yeah I mean what he said to her was very fair from what I'm understanding and she yells and like does more and I so you
94:05
Speaker A
know I I think I've told you guys this recently but I've been watching this is us for the first time oh God why would you do that to yourself it's really beautiful what season are you on um I
94:15
Speaker A
think I'm on like three or something how has anyone died yet yeah yeah yeah I mean people are kind of you kind of know that people are going to die or already did die that show wrecked me yeah no
94:30
Speaker A
lots of tears but anyway but anyway there's this one scene where um Rebecca she's extremely pregnant with triplets at the time and she's so mean to Jack her husband and um it's it's really cute though because she's she really she she
94:49
Speaker A
kicks him out of the house and she's like do not come back until you change your attitude honey even though she was the one who's being mean so he goes and he's all sad and stuff and then she's looking at the
95:00
Speaker A
calendar and she realizes it's his birthday she's like I'm a monster she's like what am I doing I'm just being so mean like and he's such a great guy and all this stuff so she I have those days
95:15
Speaker A
and I'm I'm not pregnant like I literally sometimes do like I'm like okay I'm so stressed out right now and I get I'm just being a massive [ __ ] to everyone in my life like I it's hard
95:31
Speaker A
like when you're stressed and you're dealing with a lot it's hard add in pregnancy hormones yeah I don't know what that's like but I mean I'm I kind of want to be pregnant right now just to know I don't
95:44
Speaker A
Justin just [ __ ] himself I I hope that I don't get upset when I'm pregnant I am just preparing to have a very very very very high tolerance for 9 months I will just I will be it'll be
96:00
Speaker A
interesting see going go with the flow I could see you having a really easy time really yeah because you cope well with adversity yeah Lauren yeah I don't know hangovers you still go to workout classes yeah you're a champ i' take that
96:20
Speaker A
$10 fee or $15 fee like Lauren will literally like force herself to go work out still and I'm just like nope I'm out I don't like getting fined it doesn't feel good same neither does she no yeah I just can't do it well yeah top comment
96:36
Speaker A
oh okay for now top comment not the [ __ ] like you said it's not a blank check mhm does she apologize once she's flipped out or does she keep going and not even bother oo that's a good
96:50
Speaker A
question uh op response uh apology might not be the right word it would be something along the lines of my bad went a little nuts there but it's the hormones so she's still not being very nice even when she apologizes I honestly
97:06
Speaker A
sorry you go ahead no no no you got it I'm I'm going to keep going so if you have a thought now it's time I just feel like for people that are going through this like this would probably be a great
97:16
Speaker A
time for couples's therapy to like just get on the same page like prep for the baby cuz it's like true if like you're already like dealing with issues and his feelings are left unresolved he feels bad he's not being treated well like
97:33
Speaker A
even after the baby is here and maybe hormones change and like she gets back to her usual self like he might still be feeling bad and like he was abused by his partner I think this would be a
97:43
Speaker A
great time for coupl therapy you need a third party to explain and validate him that no it's not just the horror all the time there is some sort of sense of control here and you need a third party
97:59
Speaker A
to tell her hey maybe try and work on this a little bit because he's not in a position to do so cuz that will just end in more push like shot at him yeah I wonder what coping strategies there are
98:12
Speaker A
where it's like honey okay I hear you I'm going to just walk away and remove myself I feel like there's OB there's obviously like strategies right or there should be but like I could see almost some of those
98:26
Speaker A
strategies being worse where it's like they backfire yeah when she's already yelling like even when he brought it up like she then yells more it's like and he's trying to just how do you win Do It win so here's what's interesting unless
98:38
Speaker A
you have a thought no I I just think that you're right in a situation like this where it's not usual it's not a part of their normal relationship it is a temporary type of thing that's going on from what I'm understanding it's like
98:52
Speaker A
I think yeah it's still regardless it's still good to get into coup's therapy because then at least you have somebody else who's kind of able to um make you guys both take a step back you know like mediate a little yeah
99:06
Speaker A
and I I used to think when I was younger that when people went to coup's therapy I'm like why are they even together if they have to go to therapy like I thought relationships were supposed to be really smooth easy but like now I'm
99:19
Speaker A
I'm on the wave of just like if you have insurance and you can get in easily then if you guys start fighting and you're unhappy and you don't feel good just book a session see how it goes I love
99:31
Speaker A
that yeah I love it so there's some interesting back and forth here in the comments I'll go through them quickly um one says if she's not genuinely apologizing and can somehow manage not to treat other people like she does you then she's abusive someone
99:49
Speaker A
says apologies even genuine apologies would not make this not abusive and the original comment commenter says back you're right and I should have worded that differently if she had shown any sign of genuine remorse maybe it could be worked on through therapy and couples
100:06
Speaker A
counseling if she was treating everyone like this perhaps it could be attributed to a serious psychological issue so that's one side and then further down we have more people saying that's how I look at it if she can
100:19
Speaker A
refrain from screaming at other people despite her hormones she she can refrain from screaming at a person she allegedly loves and a bunch of people agree but then someone goes I don't disagree with your assessment but in general isn't a
100:34
Speaker A
phrase like it's hormones more similar to it's hard for me to filter myself because of hormones so I put less effort into filtering myself around people I don't think will react and judge me for it yes it's the same with kids kids
100:50
Speaker A
often times treat their moms like [ __ ] because they know their mom is a safe space and they can treat their mom like that and their mom is still going to love them MH chalk it up as that like it's it's
101:05
Speaker A
one of those things like do I think this is abusive yeah this is not a healthy relationship right now and you kind of have to ask yourself like in general do you give her a pass because she's pregnant and hormones because she
101:20
Speaker A
is not like this usually but he shouldn't have to deal with that for 9 months so you go back and forth hearing all of this and you're just like you don't want to have a bad take but like obviously like this might be even
101:36
Speaker A
like obviously you're not the [ __ ] it's time for couple's therapy but I think it's it's interesting because um someone pointed out and shared an article with me um but if you're in an abusive relationship it was I think it
101:49
Speaker A
was in response to the daddy story we had Lauren oh really yeah and essentially oh I saw that comment on Instagram that's the funny thing I always see everyone's comments on Instagram so if you guys ever want me to
102:02
Speaker A
see something that's where you go yeah but um so they sent me like a thing and we or commented to and was just like if you're in an abusive relationship it's actually contraindicated essentially like you shouldn't go to coup's therapy
102:20
Speaker A
because the abuser can go to coup's therapy learn the terminology learn the lingo and then further abuse manipulate hurt their partner and so there's this hard line of like and we get it a lot on the rins that we take for father knows
102:37
Speaker A
where these people are looking for help and it's kind of scary because obviously a therapist it's a roll of a dice you don't know who you're going to get yeah but it's kind of scary thinking that if you are in a
102:53
Speaker A
bad situation and you're being gaslit that like oh this is fine this is fine this is normal and you finally get the chance to go to coup's therapy to have your partner work on things to be better together it's kind of scary that like
103:08
Speaker A
that can be used against you to further the abuse and make you stay and get you even more trapped yeah and it's it's kind of beg the question of like if you are in that position and you feel you
103:18
Speaker A
can't leave a relationship how do you get the help what moves can you make to start poking holes and bring you back to reality and highlight its abuse and things like that like it's well maybe that's why they
103:32
Speaker A
should go together right that's why individual therapy and couples therapy should maybe happen simultaneously with separate therapists yes because you know if you're able to cuz then you can go digest your coup's therapy session with your personal therapist and hopefully they could say
103:54
Speaker A
well no they're taking that and using that against you and give you some clarity so you so your radar stays on yeah it's hard and you can actually know like okay here's probably what's happening versus being wrapped up in it
104:10
Speaker A
I just feel like it's kind of interesting to me I'd be curious to read that article because I I would think that when you are a couple's therapist then you can see and hear if they're starting to use
104:28
Speaker A
that against if the abuser is starting to use it against the other person I mean I'm just I'm trying to picture it here it's like if they're going in once a week let's say then they're going to come in with
104:42
Speaker A
like new conversations new issues or new Dynamics whatever it is every single week they're going to bring them something that they're working on or what happened that week and then wouldn't the therapist be able to just kind of call them out and say this is
104:56
Speaker A
what's going on you like you wonder maybe if they're maybe if they're if the partners good enough to take what they're learning from the sessions and manipulate their person to say yeah no I I was wrong and they put them back into
105:10
Speaker A
a corner they could go into the therapy session and PR almost having the problem solved so that they don't because they think they're solved yeah there's you're like brainwashed but it's hard because like therapy it's so subjective it's it every
105:27
Speaker A
therapist is different like when I worked at my um psychiatric facility I worked with multiple different licensed marriage family therapists everyone had their own like experience model of practice like everyone treats everything so differently so it's like that's why
105:43
Speaker A
when when you go to therapy if you don't get therapist that you Vibe with move on to a new one don't keep staying but it is scary that you have unethical therapists that might be out there and then they don't recognize those but you
105:56
Speaker A
hope that if there's a couple therapists out there that sees abuse or recognizes things they might pull that person aside right and make a comment without potentially putting them in danger yeah it's a fine line um there's an amazing
106:13
Speaker A
amazing show literally called couples therapy I believe um it was on Showtime I watched the first couple seasons and you see firsthand really relationships that like the therapist even struggles with and she'll talk to her mentor about because therapists have to have
106:30
Speaker A
therapists to talk about 100% And you'll see it and she's like I don't know what to do with him like he is not a good partner like and she even struggles because she can't cross the line of saying like you guys should call it
106:43
Speaker A
she's trying to help them but you can tell like this guy's the biggest [ __ ] and even as a viewer watching you're like I don't like this guy like this is not good it's a really cool can't believe people
106:55
Speaker A
sign up for that show it's a really good show really good it's just really vulnerable you got to put it all on the line yeah yeah it's an amazing show but here we go on patreon Lauren you ready kind of nervous thank you guys for
107:11
Speaker A
joining us on another episode of two hot takes as you're listening this we as you're listening to this as you're borrowing this as you're borrowing your card speakers listening to this episode sorry I'm just rasing y'all um we will
107:30
Speaker A
be in Charlotte North Carolina having our first live show oh you're putting this out next week next week wow fast turn around baby or we will have Ben in Charlotte I'm not sure but either way our live shows are not something you want to miss
107:48
Speaker A
oh I'm so excited humped it's going to be I've honestly I always have a good time at the live shows that we've done the best time so fun because you guys the people who show up they really are like what we
108:02
Speaker A
considered THD family it's family it's just you you guys are amazing we have literally so fun we have patreon family like that we get to talk to monthly so we know that like people are making drives and flights like we have people
108:16
Speaker A
flying from Canada to Philly to come to a show we have so many people like making huge efforts to be at these shows and it is going to be so fun I think we literally maybe maybe have a 100 tickets
108:31
Speaker A
left between all the shows wow so if you're hearing this and there's still some available in your city Jump um we're not sure when we're going to be able to do another big tour like this like maybe next fall this well this fall
108:45
Speaker A
but we want to see you guys we want to meet you guys so come on out and if you have tickets be sure you go to the episode's description and submit the Google form only oh my gosh I'm so
108:59
Speaker A
excited for that only if you're going to the shows please don't make our lives harder don't do that to us and submit your answers because it's going to be good we might pick on you guys that's I think that's going to be
109:14
Speaker A
so fun we got some crazy on my story today you didn't tag me in it but I screenshotted your little post and then I and then I took the L link that you posted and I made my own little link and
109:25
Speaker A
I put it on top of it you're Innovative cuz yeah cuz I was like I'm really excited for this part I want to pump it out the responses we're getting are insane like people one of the prompts to
109:35
Speaker A
like give you guys a preview spoiler um we've asked people like are you coming to the show with someone that you currently have an issue with or like are you the [ __ ] for this and like are
109:46
Speaker A
you happy like to discuss it with us in person we also have Bombshells dropping like I had some people approach me being like hey will you break the news for me so like we have some crazy [ __ ] going
110:02
Speaker A
down so pumped crazy it's going to be really good energy it's going to be yeah unreal so thank you guys so much for your support on all the live shows on patreon um it is all so appreciated and
110:16
Speaker A
this show as I've said before would be dead without all of you I wouldn't be doing this still um so thank you so much what did you say in the beginning of the episode you'd be cleaning off uh I'd be
110:27
Speaker A
cleaning [ __ ] off my shoes there you go yeah for sure I you'd still like it I love OT I absolutely love love OT but I'm very very thankful to have the privilege of doing this because of you
110:43
Speaker A
guys so thank you and I'm trying not to cry but anything else family no I think you covered it okay until next time until next time bye bye bye [Music]
Topics:Two Hot Takes PodcastReddit Readingswedding dramarelationship conflictsgrammar debateborrow vs lendsocial dynamicscommunicationcruel intentionsstorytelling

Frequently Asked Questions

What is the main conflict discussed in the wedding drama story?

The best man's girlfriend forces him to choose between attending the wedding or staying home with their new dog, causing tension and disappointment.

How do the hosts approach the topic of grammar mistakes?

They discuss common grammar errors like using 'borrow' vs 'lend' with humor and acknowledge how language rules can be confusing and socially sensitive.

What question does the podcast pose about people's intentions?

They ask whether actions like pointing out mistakes or causing conflict are meant to be helpful or if they have cruel intentions behind them.

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