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How do you break free from the fear of failure? That's what we're going to cover in this video. But first, who am I? Pierre David, founder of L'Amie de Performance. I help athletes arrive calm and confident in competition and eliminate that fear of failure. Today, we're looking at Alexandra Recchia, a five-time world karate champion who also struggled with the fear of failure, despite her five world titles, and today she's going to share the keys to how she overcame it. Before we go any further, you can subscribe right now by hitting the little bell so you get notifications and don't miss any of our videos. Otherwise, YouTube won't show you all of them, and that would be a shame. So, Alexandra, you're here. All right, Alexandra, you're with us. How are you, Alexandra? I'm doing well, thanks, and you? I'm doing very well, thank you. So, let's get right to it; if you haven't seen the last two videos, I encourage you to go back and watch them. So, Alexandra, how do you simply free yourself from the fear of failure? Can you tell us how you managed to free yourself from that fear? Have you ever experienced it? Well, my experience with the fear of failure was quite unique because I was more of a hothead who wanted to take down everyone on the mat. I was always the smallest at six years old when I did my first competition. I was the smallest one there. There were no weight classes back then, only age categories. I’d face these tall, giraffe-like girls and walk onto the competition floor, or even just into the gym, with a scowl, and the older ones would say, "Oh no, the little one is here, she's going to wipe the floor with us." So, I wasn't the type to fear failure at all. I was really focused on my goal. But then, one day, despite my five world titles and my experience—I was over 30 and had plenty of elite-level experience—I just couldn't do it anymore. I was so afraid of not reaching my goal and so scared of failing that I would arrive at competitions literally paralyzed, stressed, and tense to the point where I lost control of my mind and my body; I couldn't make them do what I wanted. Even though in training everything was going well, I was having great sessions and was very satisfied. So it was incredibly hard, it was very frustrating. I cried a lot because I couldn't find the solutions once, twice, three times. After a while, I told myself stop, stop, you can't go on like this because you're missing out on your last year of competition. It’s just not possible. With your level, with your experience, this shouldn't be happening to you. This isn't normal. So I made the choice to work with Pierre, to follow the High Performance Friend program, and that's when I finally got the keys and. After 3 weeks, I was already seeing results, uh, in competition, and after 5 weeks, I was back on the podium. So it means it’s possible. And, and so, well, well, I, I was smiling because I heard you say that. And it's true, our first sessions together, where I really see you back there, at that moment where: "Wow, what is happening?", and then, you know, the Olympic qualifiers were behind that. So, how did you do it, actually? What is the key to getting there, to freeing yourself, actually, quite simply? Well, a good, intense depolarization session. Now, for those who don't know, for sure this term seems completely vague and, well, much too long, but no, it's a process that is extremely effective. It’s just letting go of what we don't know. We don't know what we don't know, you say that often, and we can't anticipate the result. And the more we project ourselves into a future that scares us, the less we are focused on the moment and, uh, on the mission, actually, on the goal. And so, inevitably, our brain is conditioned, it’s conditioned by fear instead of being focused on the present moment and being effective in the present moment. So first off, I would say the first thing to do is, uh, managing to be focused on the present moment. And to really eliminate fear, uh, it would be to realize that this future, uh, we can't, there is a limit to what we can master, to what we can control, and therefore letting go of the future, actually. Just focus on everything we have to do at every step before that goal. Put everything into it. To move in the right direction and arrive on the day of the competition feeling light, telling yourself: "Today, all I have to do is what I've been doing in training every day for months and months, or even years," and not think about the result. In fact, really be focused on the opponent, on the present moment, on the race, well, on what we need to do, quite simply, without looking ahead. Looking ahead is truly the enemy of performance. That's clear because as soon as we look ahead, we imagine things with more benefits than drawbacks, or vice-versa. And so, well, between the fear of failure which, in all the theories we see in classical mental preparation, we are told to be in the present moment, to be in the now, not to project ourselves onto the result... But what makes the difference between the training, uh, well, the more classical preparation sessions you had done before, and here, the depolarization sessions we did together? What is the then the difference? Uh, and uh, well I think it wasn't my first session, it was maybe my second, but I actually understood that whatever happens, life will be beautiful. Whatever happens, whether I reach my goal or I don't reach it, well, actually it will be cool and there will be as many benefits and drawbacks in the first situation as in the second. So, in fact, I regained a kind of neutrality regarding my goal and I am no longer dependent on my goal. Meaning that my goal is still ultra-important to me today. But on the other hand, I know that if I don't reach it, well, there are still beautiful things waiting for me afterward. And so, it allows you to take back some of your power, to recover a little bit of your power and not be dependent on something. That's it, because as soon as we put the goal on a pedestal, well, ultimately our inner state, our well-being will depend on the success or failure of this short-term project. So yeah, and in fact, it's this letting go that really allowed me to regain my freedom, to eliminate, to eliminate this fear. Mind you, I'm not saying that I'm no longer stressed because many people confuse fear and stress and for them, it's the same thing. There is the fear that literally blocks you and prevents you from acting, from taking action. And there's stress, which is actually something positive because it prepares you for action and alerts you to signals, to the things that are important for staying focused. But you really have to differentiate being stressed. Yes, it's normal, it's part of the game, it's part of the competition. As long as you control your emotions and stay focused on your goal, everything is fine. On the other hand, fear that literally paralyzes you and keeps you from acting, well, that's problematic. Yeah. That's problematic and it's great. So, you've understood that at that moment, you just need to return to the present moment, and we don't know what we don't know, so you have to have faith that whatever happens, there will be as many benefits as there are drawbacks. That's exactly it. Well great, thank you very much Alexandra. So if this video was useful to you, remember to share it with those around you, simply because it might help other athletes or entrepreneurs who are in that same situation. And if you want to take the leap yourself and literally move to the next level, book an appointment right now with someone from my team, select a time slot, fill out the questionnaire, and you'll speak with someone from my team who has also been through the program, who can see if you're ready to join and make a big leap and totally, once and for all—and we can say this today—eliminate the fear of failure. So thank you Alexandra and I'll see you very soon.
