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Ah, the first text in online dating, where dreams are made or broken. Where that hot girl that matched with you is either going to never text you again or suddenly be propelled dramatically forward towards going on a date with you.
Learn how to craft effective first messages on Tinder, Hinge, and Bumble to boost your online dating success with proven strategies and examples.
Key Takeaways
- Commenting on profile prompts is more effective than commenting on photos.
- Short, witty, and slightly irreverent messages increase response rates.
- Reuse successful message templates tailored to specific demographics.
- Being relatable yet unique helps build attraction without seeming desperate.
- Preparing responses for common prompt likes saves time and improves consistency.
What the video covers
- The video emphasizes the critical importance of the first message in online dating for securing dates.
- Todd V shares a general messaging strategy focusing on commenting on prompts rather than photos.
- He highlights the value of finding unusual or teasing elements in a girl's profile to personalize messages.
- Todd uses demographic-specific message templates that can be reused for consistent success.
- He advocates for brevity and authenticity, often couching attractive traits as humorous negatives.
- Examples include responding to entrepreneurial prompts with relatable, cocky humor.
- The video explains how to leverage prompt likes to anticipate and prepare effective responses.
- Todd stresses the importance of being irreverent and not overly eager to create attraction.
- He demonstrates how to transition from messaging to exchanging numbers smoothly.
- Overall, the approach is about being genuine, playful, and strategic in first messages.
Chapters
- 00:00Importance of the First Message
- 00:47Common Mistakes and Video Focus
- 01:29Overview of General Messaging Strategy
- 02:11Using Demographic-Specific Message Templates
- 02:52Tips for Crafting Effective Messages
- 03:37Why Commenting on Prompts Works Better
- 04:21Example: Responding to Entrepreneurial Prompts
- 05:03Injecting Humor and Cockiness in Messages
- 05:45Framing Attractive Traits as Negatives
- 06:20Successful Conversation and Transition to Number Exchange
Full Transcript — Download SRT & Markdown
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yes it really is that important and in this video I'm going to teach you exactly how to write good first messages that are going to get you tons more dates most guys royally screw up their first messages and online dating and
Speaker A
Yes, it really is that important. And in this video, I'm going to teach you exactly how to write good first messages that are going to get you tons more dates. Most guys royally screw up their first messages in online dating, and
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method to always come up with pretty damn good first messages that going to work incredibly well on a consistent basis and beyond that I'm going to show you my own first messages following this format so let's look at that right now
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that's because it's a very easy thing to screw up. And in fact, maybe I should do a video about that at some point. But this is not that video. In this video, I'm going to show you a very simple
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her profile and I'm looking for anything unusual that I can comments on and especially tease on if I can find that that's what I'll use if not I'll use something stock I.E something I've written before and this may be a pure
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method to always come up with pretty damn good first messages that are going to work incredibly well on a consistent basis. And beyond that, I'm going to show you my own first messages following this format. So let's look at that right now.
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athletic girls and another one for girls who seem like kind of outgoing socializes who go out to clubs often I may have another one for girls who seem like they're first generation immigrants from South America right it can get very
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So very quickly, before I get into the specific messaging examples, I want to give you an overview of my general messaging strategy. When I first match with a girl and I want to message her, the first thing I do is I scroll through
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say what you're saying in fewer words it's better than saying it in many words and also generally when you're going to comment on something it's better to comment on a prompt than it is to comment on a photo because it seems more
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her profile, and I'm looking for anything unusual that I can comment on and especially tease on. If I can find that, that's what I'll use. If not, I'll use something stock, i.e., something I've written before. And this may be a pure
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I'm commenting on her prompt and her prompt says fact about me that surprises people that I've always had my own businesses now from this I can tell a little bit about her blueprint I can probably tell she's entrepreneurial
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copy and paste, but more often it's something that is related to the type of girl she is or related to the category of girl that I've seen work before. So I may have one type of message for sporty,
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I have that similarity what I don't want to do though is act like I'm like oh my God I'm so much like you we have such a connection I want to be a little irreverent I want to be a little bit
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athletic girls, and another one for girls who seem kind of outgoing, socialites who go out to clubs often. I may have another one for girls who seem like they're first-generation immigrants from South America. Right, it can get very
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say we're relatable in that way but I'm actually saying the negative Parts I've never had a boss and I'm bad at taking orders I.E I'm a little bit unruly a little bit undisciplined which also it sounds like a negative in terms of
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specific, but you don't have to reinvent the wheel every time. Once you have a particular message that works with that demographic, you can keep sending it to that demographic. Two final quick tips: generally, shorter is better. If you can
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like fake humble about it so she responds hi the name I was using on this profile a nice although not good at taking orders we have two bosses here she has some emojis and then I like your profile too what business do you do X so
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say what you're saying in fewer words, it's better than saying it in many words. And also, generally, when you're going to comment on something, it's better to comment on a prompt than it is to comment on a photo because it seems more
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details and she says Hey Okay Fab and sends her number so things are going very very nicely for the next two examples I'm going to show I want to introduce another little cheat code for online dating which is this not only
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genuine and less superficial. It's a general rule. There are exceptions, but in general, prompts are better to comment on than photos. So now let's look at a few messages I sent that led to successful interactions. So in this first
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prompts liked in fact a lot of times the girls don't even write messages to you they just like a particular prompt which means that every single girl who's liking that prompt is sending you essentially the same message over and
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first case, I'm commenting on her prompt, and her prompt says, "Fact about me that surprises people: I've always had my own businesses." Now from this, I can tell a little bit about her blueprint. I can probably tell she's entrepreneurial,
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you create a profile you may not have that yet but once you've seen that a couple times and you've written something that worked a few times you now know it works you can copy and paste and repeat that same basic answer to
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ambitious, probably fairly successful, that kind of stuff. She didn't say business; she said businesses, etc. Right, so she probably wants an ambitious guy as well. So I'm going to convey that. Also, I happen to be an entrepreneur myself, so
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she's not only saying something about me she's saying something about herself she chose to like a guy who's not safe and not boring so from this I can imply she's maybe those same traits and this leads the conversation in a lot of good
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I have that similarity. What I don't want to do, though, is act like I'm like, "Oh my God, I'm so much like you. We have such a connection." I want to be a little irreverent. I want to be a little bit
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a great direction to push the conversation so with all that in mind my response was if I can take that as an indicator that you're also not boring then I think there's a decent chance we might get along fingers crossed and as
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cocky, a little bit funny in my response. So what I messaged was this: "Same. I also have never had a boss, and I'm bad at taking orders," winky face. So I couch me being successful in business and running my own business. I
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definitely so her name what's your view on drinks and Woody banter between attractive new friends she says always into that I say sounds good my number is this what's yours and she sends her number so again we have the number we
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say we're relatable in that way, but I'm actually saying the negative parts. I've never had a boss, and I'm bad at taking orders, i.e., I'm a little bit unruly, a little bit undisciplined, which also sounds like a negative in terms of
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indicating something about themselves in this case The Prompt she liked was something that's non-negotiable for me is integrity I can't be true to someone who isn't true to her own values so if she likes that she's saying maybe she's
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dating me, as in like I'm not a well-behaved boyfriend. But actually, girls in terms of attraction don't want a well-behaved boyfriend. So I'm framing a thing that's actually attractive about me as a negative to try and be sort of
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funny so here's what I wrote thanks her name you don't seem so bad yourself and by the way this is a great thing when a girl gives you a compliment or even even likes one of your prompts thanks you're
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like fake humble about it. So she responds, "Hi," the name I was using on this profile, "A nice although not good at taking orders. We have two bosses here," she has some emojis, and then, "I like your profile too. What business do you do?" X. So
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this having character and being a character thing that's not even originally me I stole that from a TV show or a movie that I watched years and years and years ago and it's fine to take lines from other people anyway this
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clearly a very positive response that gets things off to the right start. And if you scroll down in the conversation, you see it ended with, "Saturday sounds good. What's your number or WhatsApp? That might be an easier way to figure out
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good response and then if we Zoom forward to the end of the conversation and if we Zoom down to the end of the conversation we can see I say I'm in City this weekend back in other City soon perhaps we should meet for a drink
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details," and she says, "Hey, okay, fab," and sends her number. So things are going very, very nicely. For the next two examples I'm going to show, I want to introduce another little cheat code for online dating, which is this: not only
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plans we have a number things are moving very well for the fourth and final example I want to show you the difference between a good message and a great message cuz again this girl liked one of my prompts and it's the same one
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does the girl have prompts, but you have prompts also. And you know what your prompts are. That means that when the girl messages you first, you're going to get certain responses over and over again, or you're going to get certain
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better one here's what we have so she liked you should not go out with me if you're looking for a nice safe account your parents would approve of and she actually added to the like safe is boring which is an even bigger
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prompts liked. In fact, a lot of times the girls don't even write messages to you; they just like a particular prompt, which means that every single girl who's liking that prompt is sending you essentially the same message over and
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maybe pouring gas on the fire so I thought that's much more interesting so can I use that and I actually used that and related it to the prompt answer so my first message was says the girl pictured pouring gasoline on a fire
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over and over again. Therefore, once you've responded to it once, you can copy and paste that same message over and over again. So for each prompt, you should be prepared with a good message for when they like that prompt. Now at first, when
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basically saying like tell me the attractive things about you I've given you full permission to brag and it won't be try hard which is [ __ ] awesome if we Zoom to the end of this conversation we have a situation where I didn't even
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you create a profile, you may not have that yet, but once you've seen that a couple times and you've written something that worked a few times, you now know it works. You can copy and paste and repeat that same basic answer to
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goes surprisingly what were you anticipating she sends her number and says number if you text more often then you hinge because I hadn't been super consistent with getting into her messages quickly so she just offered up her number and said let's continue this
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each and every girl, and it makes things very, very easy. So the prompt she liked in this case was, "You should not go out with me if you're looking for a nice, safe accountant your parents would approve of." So when she likes this prompt,
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coming up with them but what do these messages all have in common in terms of the content well number one they're all light they're not super serious they're not super romantic they're also very short so they're light short maybe a
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she's not only saying something about me, she's saying something about herself. She chose to like a guy who's not safe and not boring. So from this, I can imply she's maybe those same traits, and this leads the conversation in a lot of good
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other they acknowledge sort of tacitly that we're on a dating site we're trying to meet they're not beating around the bush they're not small talk they're not hey how was your day that kind of a thing thirdly they are all about either
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ways. I can compliment her on that. I can qualify her on that, and I can lead the conversation towards one where we're about being fun, adventurous, and taking risks, and, you know, one very fun risk: going on a date with a stranger. So it's
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they're copy and paste about something the girl personally did so every time the girl thinks this is actually about me this is personal to me and finally in all four cases they convey me in a positive frame they convey me as the
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a great direction to push the conversation. So with all that in mind, my response was, "If I can take that as an indicator that you're also not boring, then I think there's a decent chance we might get along. Fingers crossed." And as
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those messages and the lessons from them by the way I do want to mention if you enjoy that and you want to see the full text conversations I did just add all these full texts with breakdowns of why
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you can see, she hearted that, and then she responded, "I want to hear more about the cash pick," which is another picture of my profile. So she continued the conversation. And so then if we zoom to the bottom of the conversation, say,
Topics:online datingfirst messageTinderHingeBumbledating tipsonline dating strategyprofile promptsdating messagesTodd V Dating
