99% пожалеешь — НЕ говори об ЭТОМ с мужчиной [Проверено]

Well, my dear ladies, the wicked Bachinskaya is here again, the toxic psychologist in action, coming to tell you where you messed up again. Most of us live thinking that men are just like us and understand everything. They understand that: "So what, I freaked out, you're freaking out too." These demonstrative gestures of ours. I'm leaving, stop me. I'm running, see my hair flying back. I'm going to mom's.

out, you're freaking out too." These demonstrative gestures of ours. I'm leaving, stop me. I'm running, see my hair flying back. I'm going to mom's.

That would be nice. I'm packing my suitcase. Well, I'm taking the kids. I'm galloping off. Come after me, quickly. Well, you could have guessed that I'm in pain. So what if I'm sitting here telling you everything is fine? You could have thought about what you'd done. Well, no, they don't think like that, but you do think like that. And your man is not your dad; he will not love you unconditionally. Men are quite straightforward, and their thinking is straightforward too. Anyway, this video is called emasculating behavior. What should you do? You don't want your man to be happy with you. So, let's go. First.

Come after me, quickly. Well, you could have guessed that I'm in pain. So what if I'm sitting here telling you everything is fine? You could have thought about what you'd done. Well, no , they don't think like that, but you

"I told you so, I told you, you could have listened to me." You instantly elevate yourself with that phrase, and he feels like a loser because he made a mistake. And you are happily dancing on his bones. Because he made a mistake. The very fact that he failed makes you happy. Who are you to him at that moment? If you are happy about his mistake, you are an adversary, you are an enemy.

to be happy with you. So, let's go. First. "I told you so, I told you, you could have listened to me." You instantly elevate yourself with that phrase, and he and he feels like a loser because he made a mistake. And

Because a person who is a friend, who is close, says: "Damn, that sucks." "Well, damn, it happened." "Okay, let's think about what we're going to do about it." But they don't triumph in the moment of a loved one's failure. The thing that makes me want to sew your mouth shut with coarse thread is saying, "Be a man." I apologize for the intensity. But how do you even know what it's like to be a man? Do you have a dick and balls? I don't think so. You have breasts and a hole. What do you mean, "be a man"? Maybe for him, this action, or this decision, or this indecision is the maximum possible courage he can muster; how would you know? You have an image in your head of some ideal picture, an ideal man who doesn't exist. And you demand that the living man right next to you live up to this bright image. Alas. Oh, dear, you doom yourself to constant disappointment, and he dooms himself to a life with a woman who is always dissatisfied with him. He won't live with you for long. I can guarantee that to you.

Who are you to him at that moment? If you are happy about his mistake. You are an adversary, you are an enemy.

What should I replace it with? Replace who? That phrase. Nothing. Well, he's not behaving the way I want him to. Then that's a question for you, not for him. That’s a question for you. If he’s not behaving the way you want, you should only be questioning yourself. Why are you so angry about this? If you are unhappy with how an adult you are in a close relationship with is behaving, you ask: "My dear, please tell me, I said that I expect this and that from you, and you're not doing it. What is the reason?" He says: "I don't want to." You say: "Okay, understood, accepted." And you swallow your desire.

The thing that makes me want to sew your mouth shut with coarse thread is saying, "Be a man." I apologize for the intensity. But how do you even know what it's like to be a man? Do you have

Or if it is fundamentally incompatible with your values, the question is: what are you doing with this person? And then there's the not just castrating, but castrating, condemning, and stating the worthlessness of a man. Or the phrase or behavior where, well, what are you even capable of, or you’re not capable of anything at all. If you say this to your man, well, first of all, guys, run if you hear this from a woman, it is concentrated contempt, and you must never despise a man. So, girls, if you want personal happiness, don't you dare despise a man, not a former one, not a current one, not a future one, you cannot despise anyone, because contempt is the flip side of pride. And if you despise a man and consider him worthless, you have become so prideful that you are completely detached from reality. And I guarantee you that the world will come down on you very hard for that. Another form of exerting power. Drop it on him in the morning.

know? You have an image in your head of some ideal picture, an ideal man who doesn't exist. And you demand that the living man right next to you live up to this bright image. Alas. Oh, dear, you doom yourself to constant

We need to talk. When you get home from work tonight, I have a serious talk for you. And he says: "About what?" You say: "We'll discuss it in the evening." That's it, you're doomed. You’ve hung him up like a puppet. He starts to twitch. He starts thinking about where he screwed up, where he messed up. It's just like, I don't know if you've had this happen or not. In childhood, when mom called you by a certain name, and you knew you were about to get it. Really get it. Well, because usually you're addressed in a certain way, and that means everything is fine. But then, when you're called by your full name, like, Alexander, and you're like: "What did I do?" When you tell your man that you need to talk, it's just like his mom calling him by his full name, and he’s like, "Damn, where..." even if he's holier than St. Peter, you know, the air will still smell of his fear.

What should I replace it with? Replace who? That phrase. Nothing. Well, he's not behaving the way I want him to.

He’s terrified, to put it simply, and he definitely won’t be ready for a constructive dialogue. Fear is a poor advisor. So, there’s no need to keep your man hanging. If you want a constructive dialogue, go up to him and say, "Listen, honey, tell me, how are you feeling right now?" "I have a topic, and it's not a very easy one." "I want to discuss it with you." "Are you ready?" "If you’re not ready, I’ll wait." "Just tell me when you will be ready." And do wait until the person is actually okay. And you must be okay yourself to talk. Because when he is okay and you are not, you shouldn't be talking either; you won't achieve anything. You’ll only make things worse. But if the topic of relationships is triggering and things aren't working out, there’s a link in the video description to the courses "Formula for Perfect Sex" and "Honestly and Happily." At the very least, you should check out "Honestly and Happily." It’s short, simple, and easy to understand. And later, if you want to go deeper, you can go to "Elementary Happiness." Well, our favorite: "What happened?" "Nothing." "What's going on with you?" "Everything is fine." "Yes, it's fine." "Everything is fine with me."

are in a close relationship with is behaving, you ask: "My dear, please tell me, I said that I expect this and that from you, and you're not doing it.

This is incongruent behavior. When you say one thing, but look completely different. If you want him to realize his fault, just say: "Listen, I'm angry with you right now and I really want you to apologize for one, two, three." "That was unpleasant, disrespectful, blah-blah-blah-blah-blah." "Therefore, I believe this conflict should be resolved with your apology." And then he says: "Yes, okay, fine, I’m ready to admit I was wrong, but I acted that way because you did one, two, three, and I think you should apologize too." And that’s it, make up, make up, make up. Instead of making that complicated, moody, teenage face of yours. And this endless comparison, when you come and say: "Vasya from the next department gave his wife a car for the baby's birth, you know, and I’m still taking the bus, and our son will be in school soon." "And my friend's husband, you know, and my mom's friend's son..."

Or if it is fundamentally incompatible with your values, the question is: what are you doing with this person? And then there's the not just castrating, but castrating, condemning, and stating the worthlessness of a man. Or the phrase or behavior where, well, what

Don't you dare compare him to anyone, because once you compare him, he has lost. There is absolutely zero motivation left for anything. You want to drive a car, right, instead of taking the bus, and you think you can motivate him by saying someone else has a better one? It won’t work. Male motivation only works through praise.

, if you want personal happiness, don't you dare despise a man, not a former one, not a current one, not a future one, you cannot despise anyone, because contempt is the flip side of pride. And if you despise a man and consider him

Like, "Man, I’d be so happy, and you’re so cool, just imagine, I’d tell everyone how cool you are." "If only I had a car, oh, I would be just so, so happy." "Mmm, and imagine what a cool girlfriend you’d have, too." "You’re so cool and I’m so cool." "I’m only this cool because I have a guy as cool as you." And he’s like: "Oh, you fox, you clever girl, come on, show me what you’ve picked out, let’s go for a test drive." That’s it. And one last thing. Never manipulate with sex. Listen, let’s be honest. Sex is a pleasure for two.

We need to talk. When you get home from work tonight, I have a serious talk for you. And he says: "About what?" You say : "We'll discuss it in the evening." That's it, you're doomed. You’ve hung him up like a puppet. He starts to

You’re not doing him a favor by letting him into your "magic hole." There is no cave of treasures in there. Come on, have some perspective, girls, please. There’s no life-giving.

Really get it. Well, because usually you're addressed in a certain way, and that means everything is fine. But then , when you're called by your full name, like, Alexander, and you're like: "What did I do?" When you tell your man that

you need to talk, it's just like his mom calling him by his full name, and he’s like, "Damn, where..." even if he's holier than St. Peter, you know, the air will still smell of his fear.

He’s terrified, to put it simply, and he definitely won’t be ready for a constructive dialogue. Fear is a poor advisor. So, there’s no need to keep your man hanging. If you want a constructive dialogue, go up to him and

say, "Listen, honey, tell me, how are you feeling right now?""I have a topic, and it's not a very easy one.""I want to discuss it with you.""Are you ready?

""If you’re not ready, I’ll wait."" Just tell me when you will be ready." And do wait until the person is actually okay. And you must be okay yourself to talk. Because when he is okay and you are not, you shouldn't be

talking either; you won't achieve anything. You’ll only make things worse. But if the topic of relationships is triggering and things aren't working out, there’s a link in the video description to the courses " Formula for Perfect Sex" and "Honestly

and Happily." At the very least, you should check out "Honestly and Happily. " It’s short, simple, and easy to understand. And later, if you want to go deeper, you can go to "Elementary Happiness." Well, our favorite: "What happened?""Nothing.""What's going on

with you?""Everything is fine.""Yes, it's fine.""Everything is fine with me. " This is incongruent behavior. When you say one thing, but look completely different. If you want him to realize his fault, just say: "Listen, I'm angry with you right now and I really want

you to apologize for one, two, three."" That was unpleasant, disrespectful, blah-blah-blah-blah-blah.""Therefore, I believe this conflict should be resolved with your apology." And then he says: "Yes, okay, fine, I’m ready to admit I was wrong, but I acted that

way because you did one, two, three, and I think you should apologize too." And that’s it, make up, make up, make up. Instead of making that complicated, moody, teenage face of yours. And this endless comparison, when you come and

say: "Vasya from the next department gave his wife a car for the baby's birth, you know, and I’m still taking the bus, and our son will be in school soon.""And my friend's husband, you know, and my mom's friend's son..."

don't you dare compare him to anyone, because once you compare him, he has lost. There is absolutely zero motivation left for anything. You want to drive a car, right, instead of taking the bus, and you think you can

motivate him by saying someone else has a better one? It won’t work. Male motivation only works through praise.

Like, "Man, I’d be so happy, and you’re so cool, just imagine, I’d tell everyone how cool you are.""If only I had a car, oh, I would be just so, so happy.""Mmm, and imagine what a cool girlfriend you’d have, too.""

You’re so cool and I’m so cool."" I’m only this cool because I have a guy as cool as you." And he’s like: " Oh, you fox, you clever girl, come on, show me what you’ve picked out, let’s go for a test drive." That’s

it. And one last thing. Never manipulate with sex. Listen, let’s be honest. Sex is a pleasure for two.

You’re not doing him a favor by letting him into your "magic hole." There is no cave of treasures in there.

Come on, have some perspective, girls, please. There’s no life-giving nectar in there. Either you both enjoy being in bed together, or you don’t. But this "I won’t give it to you" attitude... "You haven't earned it." Like it’s the Holy Grail or something

. "You haven't earned it." Get real, dear ladies, get real. Don't do that. Sex is a way to experience pleasure and show love to each other in the adult world. You both enjoy it together. And what do you mean "I won't give it"?

Well, go on, act like a fool then. And this kind of humiliation during sex, too. "Are you almost done there?""Or is that it for you?" What is that? Don’t give him such negative feedback. Don't do it. Instead, you could say something

like, "Honey, I’m not finished yet."" It seems your mouth and hands aren't occupied yet, so let’s make me happy a couple more times." Well, there are three more things I’ll mention in closing. First, if you aren't ready to

end the relationship, never threaten to end it. If you aren't ready to leave, never threaten to do so. Don't say " I’m getting a divorce" when you don’t plan on divorcing. Don't throw those phrases around. Damn, he might

actually take that as a call to action. And next thing you know, you didn't plan on divorcing, but he’s already filed the papers. Second. Never compare him to an ex, and in general, share less about your past relationships,

because he might use it against you— nobody is perfectly ethical, forget about that. So don't hand him sharp tools yourself, just so you don't end up getting hurt later. And pay attention, if you ever find out anything about his past relationships,

don't you dare use it as a weapon against him. And third, oh yes, "I'll do it myself"—don't do it yourself.

Just play the idiot and say, "I have no idea how this thing works." So that later you have a reason to respect your man. Because when you do it yourself...

but why strain yourself if someone else will do it? Just think about it. If someone is doing something for you, because of you, why would you need to struggle? He operates with the exact same logic. That's why you should be a

maximally helpless creature when he’s by your side. When he's not around, hell, strap on your balls and go live your life. But the moment he’s with you, you're like, "Oh my God, a little bird, a butterfly, my man, I’m so

happy." And that’s it. Yes, you look like an idiot, but in return, you get a manly man with big balls and a desire to save you, protect you, and whatever else you want. Because let's be honest, girl, if you want a relationship with a

strong man—and you all say, "I want a man who takes responsibility," blah, blah, blah—you're going to have to play the fool sometimes. And if you have the courage and strength to live your own independent life, then you don't need a man-nanny, you need

therapy. And there you'll gain awareness, work everything through, and become big, grown-up, and stable. Then you choose whether you need a relationship or not, who you need it with, what format you want, what you want to get out of it, and what

you’re going to give. Once you answer all these little questions for yourself , voila. As if by the wave of a magic wand, a person matching those requirements will appear. But when your head is full of a nightmare and a bunch

of expectations for someone who won't meet them at all, and you shift the responsibility for your unhappiness onto him, then you're just living an unhappy life. Overall, you can live that way too. It won't be very long, and it won't be very happy, but who am

I to tell you how to live? And on that note, I’ll give you my signature sign-off. Love you, kisses, Pooh. See you.