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Hey there. This morning, I woke up and I asked myself, if I could go back in time and give my 20-year-old self some advice on how to become a master communicator, what advice would I give? Here is what
Philipp Humm shares 14 essential communication lessons to master presence, clarity, storytelling, and effective listening.
Key Takeaways
- Effective communication is about clarity and focus, not quantity of information.
- Being fully present and actively listening deepens connections and understanding.
- Stories are powerful tools to make messages memorable and persuasive.
- Simple language enhances comprehension and retention, especially for busy audiences.
- Preparation and structured frameworks boost confidence and clarity under pressure.
What the video covers
- Focus your message by stating the one key thing you want to communicate to avoid rambling.
- Be an active listener by asking clarifying questions to make others feel truly seen.
- Practice presence by grounding yourself before conversations to be fully engaged.
- Speak clearly and simply, aiming for a fifth-grade level to ensure your message sticks.
- Use storytelling to make your message memorable, as stories are recalled far more than facts.
- Avoid rehearsing in front of a mirror to prevent self-judgment; rehearse out loud instead.
- Use communication frameworks like PREP (Point, Reason, Example, Point) to structure answers confidently.
- Improve communication by focusing on one aspect at a time and practicing deliberately.
- Maintain deliberate eye contact to keep audience engagement and connection.
- Show up as a giver in conversations, focusing on others rather than seeking approval.
Chapters
- 00:00Introduction & Lesson 1: Focus Your Message
- 01:45Lesson 2: Active Listening & Clarifying Questions
- 02:35Lesson 3: Presence in Conversations
- 03:16Lesson 4: Speak Simply and Clearly
- 04:14Lesson 5: Use Storytelling to Be Memorable
- 06:11Lesson 6: Avoid Rehearsing in Front of a Mirror
- 07:09Lesson 7: Use Frameworks to Structure Thoughts
- 08:05Lesson 8: Practice Deliberate Improvement
- 09:00Lesson 9 & 10: Eye Contact and Authenticity
- 10:52Conclusion & Encouragement to Practice
Full Transcript — Download SRT & Markdown
Speaker A
it comes down to. Lesson number one. Now, have you ever been in that situation? Someone asks you a simple question and you start answering. You answer, but then you go like, "Wait, there's one more thing." And then you're
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like, "Oh, no, no, no, there's another thing." Or no, actually there's a third thing, and then there's three tangents later you're completely lost. Now, I've been there. Here's one of the best fixes I found. You can say that simple
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sentence. You can say the one thing I want you to know is X, Y, and Z. Boom.
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That's it. That one line forces your brain to focus. It trims the fat. It zooms into what actually matters. So let's say someone asks, "What makes a great speaker?" So instead of now listing seven random things, try the one
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thing that makes a great speaker is presence. If you're fully here with your audience, everything else falls into place. And that is a simple shift, but it has a gigantic impact. Great communication isn't about saying everything. It's about saying the right
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thing. Lesson number two. A few weeks ago, I grabbed coffee with a former colleague. And at first, it seemed great, right? He was asking me all those kinds of questions. Beautiful. But after a while, something felt a little bit
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off. He'd go like, "So, what did you do at your parents' place?" I'd answer. And then he'd go like, "Um, so how's work?" "Then still living in Amsterdam. Any trips planned soon?" And it felt like this rapid-fire interview. Like no
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follow-up, just next question, next question, next question? After 5 minutes, I thought, "Fuck this, right?
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He doesn't really care about me." And here's the wild part. He probably thought that he was a great listener. So don't do this. Instead, ask clarifying questions to go deeper. So the next time someone shares something, pause and then
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you say, "Wait, what was that like for you?" Or, "No, that sounds intense. Tell me what happened," or "How did you feel in that moment when that happened?" That's how you make people feel seen and not just
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scanned. Lesson number three. Now, most of us, we live pretty hectic lives, right? Back-to-back meetings, rushing from the one thing to the next thing, and you leave one conversation and you immediately jump into the next one. But hey, your brain is often still stuck in
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that last one. You're still thinking about that previous person. You're like, "Hm, what did he say?" Or you're thinking about, "Ah, that last slide was really interesting." And that's a problem because you're not there fully present.
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The most powerful skill in communication is presence. How fully are you in the room with the person in front of you?
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Not just hearing them, but really being there with them with your whole body and mind. So, how can you practice that?
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What I do every single time before any conversation is I ground myself. Before that conversation, I just notice my feet on the ground. I imagine roots coming through the floor and I just stick to that feeling for like 30 seconds. And
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then the moment I start that conversation, boom, I'm there with them, fully present. Lesson number four. Two weeks ago, I gave a storytelling workshop. And at this one point, this guy stands up and he starts to share the
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story. And he says something like, "I was responsible to optimize the distribution between the supply chain of two manufacturing facilities in the Pacific Northeast." And I'm just sitting there like, dude, what are you talking about?
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Here's the funny thing. 5 minutes earlier, he had just sounded normal, but now he sounded like this corporate robot. This happens all the time. We talk like normal people until we then speak in front of a group. And then
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suddenly we think that we need to sound professional or very intelligent. But here's the truth. Professional doesn't mean complicated. Trying to sound smart just makes you harder to understand. And if people don't get you, well, your message dies. So here's the fix. Speak
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so that a fifth grader would understand you. Not because your audience is dumb, but because they're busy, they're distracted. They are tired. I, for example, I use a free tool called Hemingway app to check the grade level of all my writing and speaking. And if
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it says grade nine, well, way too complex. If it says grade four or five, well, now we're talking. Some of my best pieces of content, it's grade level two.
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Clarity sticks. Lesson number five. Now that Stanford experiment will change the way you speak forever. In one of his classes, Professor Chip Heath gave his students a simple task. He said, "I want you to give a one-minute speech about
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non-violent crimes in the US." And so the students got up one by one delivering their speech. But the rest of the class, well, they listened carefully, took some notes because they were asked to rate them on how persuasive the speeches were. That was
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the task. But a few minutes later, the professor Chip Heath, he stopped everything and he said, "Well, I want you now to write down every single thing you remember from those speeches." And immediately the students got out their pen and paper and they started
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scribbling down everything that they remembered. Only 5% remembered a stat or fact. And that in the class of Stanford, right, some of the most intelligent people on this planet. But here comes the interesting part. 63% remembered a story. Now, let that sink in. If you
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want your message to be remembered, wrap it into a story. Don't just say, "Oh, our customer loves us." Tell us a story about how you helped a specific customer overcome that specific problem. Or for example, don't just say, "Oh, moving to
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Europe changed my life." Instead, take us into this one moment where you realized that this really changed your life. Lesson number six, just rehearse in front of the mirror. Honestly, that might be one of the worst communication advices out there. Now, think about it.
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When are you ever giving a talk while staring at yourself? Exactly. Never. Well, unless you're giving a TED talk in your bathroom, which seems unlikely, but here's what actually happens. When you rehearse in front of the mirror, you
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stop focusing on your message and you start obsessing over your face, right? You're like, "Huh, wait a second. Hasn't my nose always looked like that?" Or, "Wait a second. What is that pimple here? Or is that just bad lighting? Now
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you're not rehearsing, you're judging. So stop practicing in front of the mirror. So instead, rehearse in your room speaking out loud. Lesson number seven. I used to get so jealous of the people who always had the perfect answer. You ask them a really tough
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question and then boom, just calm, confident, and clear. Back then, I just thought those people were much smarter than me. But then I learned their secret. They're not smarter. The best communicators, they use frameworks to articulate their thoughts. They have
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like little mental cheat codes that make them sound sharp even under pressure. Let me show you the one that I use the most. It's called P R E P or prep.
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Point, reason, example, and point again. Let's say someone asks, "Should pineapple be on pizza?" You can then respond with the prep framework to say, "Yeah, pineapple belongs on pizza because it's delicious and it adds contrast. I actually went to a party two
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weeks back and the pineapple on that pizza was actually gone within a second." So yeah, pineapple should be on pizza. When you do that, you sound more thoughtful, more structured. So practice those types of frameworks. Maybe prep, maybe a framework like problem solution
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or past, present, future, any framework. The key is to practice them so that you're ready to use them when it matters. Lesson number eight. Now, imagine this. You're about to go on stage or you're about to go into that
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interview or you're about to
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for me to say, right? I don't have hair. And you hope for the best, which sounds ridiculous, right? And that's exactly what most people do with their communication. They have actually no idea how they come across. They don't
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hear their tone. They don't notice themselves fidgeting and they don't realize how long they ramble on. And that is such a missed opportunity. If you want to become the best communicator out there fast, record yourself on camera. Now, sure, start small, right?
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60 seconds and then just talk about something simple. Maybe you want to summarize your day. Maybe you want to explain an idea or maybe you want to practice the start of your next talk and then watch it back like no judgment but
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just spot one thing that you want to improve and then you do that same thing again maybe a week later. This is how you improve the fastest. Lesson number nine. Imagine you're in a meeting and the presenter says there are five things
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I want you to focus on. clarity, presence, structure, time, and I guess relevance. When you hear this, you immediately zone out. That sounds more like a shopping list. No rhythm, no punch, no chance to remember anything.
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But now imagine they said, "There are three things I want you to focus on.
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Clarity, confidence, and connection." That hits. Why? Because three is magic. So please use the rule of three wherever you can. We as humans, we're wired to love things in threes. Stop, drop, and roll. Life, liberty, and the pursuit of
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happiness. Eat, pray, and love. One, feels incomplete. Two, still forgettable. But three, that's just right. Lesson number 10. In my early days, every presentation felt like this performance. Lines memorized, voice polished, perfect posture. But here's the problem. The more perfect I tried to
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sound, the more robotic I came across. Now, that only changed once a mentor gave me a powerful tip. He said, "Talk like you're chatting with your best friend." And that changed everything for me. So, when you're sitting across from
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your best friend, you usually don't use jargon, right? You just speak normal. You're not trying to look super cool.
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You don't rush through. You take a breath if you want to. And I know it sounds simple, but it's surprisingly hard. Every video I record, I watch it back and ask myself, huh, would I talk like this to my best friend? And most of
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the times, the answer is no. And then I redo it again until it feels okay.
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Lesson number 11. Now, most people don't sound insecure because of what they say. They sound insecure because of how they say it. Too quiet, too hesitant, like they're afraid to disturb anyone. And I get it. You don't want to come across as
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this overly loud or overly weird. But here's the truth. People who speak louder are seen as more confident. Do you want an instant hack to sound more confident? Well, then speak 20% louder than normal. Yeah. And I know it feels
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awkward at first. You'll think like, "Oo, I think I'm yelling here. This is so awkward." But to others, it sounds like you believe in what you're saying.
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So try this. Grab a book and then read one of the paragraphs just normal, but then the next time read it again, but this time 20% louder. Train your voice to be okay with speaking a little bit louder. And lesson number 12. Last year,
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I went on a date here in Amsterdam with this super cute girl. And I was excited, right? Might she be the one? But within an hour, I left. And why is that? The entire day, she never looked at me. Eyes
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down, glancing somewhere in the room, anywhere but my eyes. It felt like I wasn't even there. And I know it sounds a bit harsh that I left after an hour, but it reminded me of something. Most people have terrible eye contact in
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conversations sometimes, in presentations all the time. They scan the room, they talk to the ceiling, they look down.
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obviously no wonder why they've lost the room. So to prevent that, practice deliberate eye contact. So when you speak, you hold the gaze with one person for around 5 seconds and then you switch to the next one. But how can you
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actually practice that at home? It's pretty easy. Talk to your furniture. So your coffee mug might be one person, then your lamp might be another one, then the book might be a third person.
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And so when you give that speech, just move from one object to the other. Keep your glance for a few seconds before then moving to the next one. Yes, it is a little bit awkward, but it helps you
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have this deliberate eye contact. Lesson number 13. For my second book, I interviewed 34 professional speakers and I asked them one question. How do you prepare for your presentation? Now, three out of four people said the same thing. They said, "I focus on my
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audience." Now, I know that might sound very simple, but it's actually radical because most people do exactly the opposite. They show up as a taker. They want applause. They want to be liked.
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They want something. And the audience like you, hey, you're very sensitive. If someone just wants to sell you something, well, you feel that, right?
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But the best communicators, they show up with a givers mindset. They ask themselves, "How can I serve? How can I help them? How can I help them?" And yeah, you can even say that in your head before any conversation. You can say,
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"I'm here to serve. I'm here to serve. I'm here to serve." You can even imagine a person from your conversation benefiting from your help. Show up with a givers mindset. Lesson number 14. Now, most people, they wait for those big
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opportunities to hone their communication skill. Maybe that weekly Toast Masters meeting or that quarterly review at the company, but why wait?
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Every conversation, every interaction you have is a chance to become a more captivating speaker. Make your life the arena. Like, stop waiting for the perfect opportunity. Use those everyday moments with strangers, with your friends, with co-workers to evolve as a
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communicator. Make your life the arena. So, if you're thinking, where do I even start? Right? There are so many things. Start with storytelling.
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In the next video, I'll show you my favorite storytelling techniques to turn any average moment into something really unforgettable. Because when you know how to tell stories, you don't just speak more clearly, you connect more deeply.
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See you there.
Topics:communication skillsactive listeningstorytellingpublic speakingpresenceclaritycommunication frameworkseffective communicationPhilipp Hummcommunication tips
