5 Levels of Discipline (most stop at level 1)

Explore 10 proven techniques to master self-control and discipline, including the Batman and urge surfing methods, backed by 56 years of research.

Key Takeaways

Self-control is a learnable skill that can be improved with specific techniques.
Urge surfing is more effective than relying solely on willpower to overcome cravings.
Psychological distance and abstraction reduce the power of temptations.
Disgust can be a powerful tool to combat cravings through the vomit technique.
Social support and environment management play crucial roles in sustaining discipline.

What the video covers

The video condenses 56 years of research on self-control into 10 practical techniques.
It challenges the traditional marshmallow test by showing how teaching strategies can extend self-control.
Urge surfing is introduced as a superior method to willpower for managing cravings.
Making cravings abstract, such as imagining marshmallows as clouds, helps increase resistance time.
The vomit technique uses disgust to reduce cravings by associating desired items with repulsive imagery.
Psychological distancing, like dressing as Batman or using third-person self-talk, enhances discipline.
Experimental evidence shows urge surfing reduces addictive behaviors, such as smoking.
The video emphasizes focusing on physical sensations of cravings rather than thoughts or emotions.
Accountability buddies provide social support to manage cravings effectively.
Environmental control, like removing triggers and replacing them with positive alternatives, aids self-discipline.

Chapters

What is urge surfing and why is it effective?

Urge surfing involves observing cravings as waves that rise and fall without acting on them. Research shows it reduces addictive behaviors more effectively than willpower alone.

How does making cravings abstract help with self-control?

By imagining cravings as something distant or unappealing, like clouds or cockroaches, the emotional pull weakens, allowing individuals to resist temptations longer.

What role does psychological distance play in discipline?

Psychological distance, such as thinking in the third person or adopting a persona like Batman, helps detach from immediate desires, making it easier to resist impulses.

Full Transcript — Download SRT & Markdown

Speaker A

I just spent months studying 56 years of the most important research on self-control and discipline and boiled it down to just 10 techniques. We'll talk about the Batman technique, the dark fuel technique, the vomit technique, and many more. We've all

Speaker A

heard the marshmallow stories, right? Put a bunch of marshbombs in front of a bunch of kids. Those who resist the longest are the ones who end up being the most successful. Blah blah blah.

Speaker A

heard the marshmallow stories, right? Put a bunch of marshmallows in front of a bunch of kids. Those who resist the longest are the ones who end up being the most successful. Blah, blah, blah.

Speaker A

donuts, thick thighs, or doom scrolling. Whatever it is, self-control is a skill you can learn. And we are going to surgically break it down. I call it the cravings minefield. According to research, half your waking life is a

Speaker A

What isn't talked about, though, is how easily you can manipulate these kids. Teach them a few techniques and strategies and all of a sudden they're able to resist a lot longer. For you, it may not be marshmallows. Maybe it's

Speaker A

willpower when a craving explodes, right? This is what I call sponge bobbing it. It's not hard to see why it doesn't work. What you actually want to do is something called urge surfing.

Speaker A

donuts, thick thighs, or doom scrolling. Whatever it is, self-control is a skill you can learn. And we are going to surgically break it down. I call it the cravings minefield. According to research, half your waking life is a

Speaker A

Focus on the physicalness of your whole body instead of the thoughts or emotions in your head. Because when you do this, you'll notice something strange. One, the craving suddenly becomes a lot more bearable. And two, you'll see that the

Speaker A

negotiation. Should I check my phone? Should I eat that snack? Should I make love to Bob's ex-wife? From the moment you wake up to the moment you go to bed, these cue-triggered cravings are everywhere. Most people rely on

Speaker A

whatever the crap you want. But then tomorrow add another 5 seconds and then another as long as you can make it to 30 minutes or so. Most cravings disappear completely. There's even experimental evidence for this and smokers. In a

Speaker A

willpower when a craving explodes, right? This is what I call sponge bobbing it. It's not hard to see why it doesn't work. What you actually want to do is something called urge surfing.

Speaker A

not you? Technique number two. Now, it's called make it abstract. Kids taught to imagine the marshmallows as puffy white clouds, whereas paintings were able to resist almost three times as long. On the other hand, kids taught the opposite. meaning, uh, here's a picture

Speaker A

This is the first technique. Whenever a craving is there, don't resist. Embrace it. Get curious. What does the craving actually feel like? Is it a shakiness in your hands or a tension in your chest?

Speaker A

chemical sweeteners masquerading with sugar. Instagram is not this world of possibility and connection. It's just a glass rank table with colored pixels algorithmically designed to give me updates of the maybe shallow and pitiful lives of strangers I do not know nor

Speaker A

Focus on the physicalness of your whole body instead of the thoughts or emotions in your head. Because when you do this, you'll notice something strange. One, the craving suddenly becomes a lot more bearable. And two, you'll see that the

Speaker A

Vietnam meant to invisibly manipulate my emotions. Speaking of emotions, I discovered this cute little guy the other day. His name is Ena. I have a tabs problem. Apparently, Ena says I have over 100 tabs on Chrome right now.

Speaker A

craving actually just comes and goes like a wave. That's why it's called surfing. Surf even longer and the urge actually starts to fade. If this is your first time doing this, set a timer. Tell yourself just 5 minutes and then do

Speaker A

important and there's some file you know you need. It's on your computer somewhere. Or maybe it's an attachment in your email. Normally, you'd have to leave around, search for it. Maybe it's actually a notion or slack or whatever,

Speaker A

whatever the crap you want. But then tomorrow add another 5 seconds and then another as long as you can make it to 30 minutes or so. Most cravings disappear completely. There's even experimental evidence for this in smokers. In a

Speaker A

He'll pull up your to-do list, get your meetings, and set reminders in your calendar easily. If you want to stop wasting your time, try ENA today for free. Link in the description.

Speaker A

randomized control trial, those who were taught how to urge surf ended up smoking a lot less than those who simply use willpower. And they say nicotine is one of the most addicting substances out there, right? If it works for them, why

Speaker A

In one experiment, subjects were asked to spit into a fresh bowl of soup. When asked to drink the soup, everyone refused. Even though when you think about it, anytime you drink soup, it's always soup plus saliva that incidentally goes in your mouth anyway,

Speaker A

not you? Technique number two. Now, it's called make it abstract. Kids taught to imagine the marshmallows as puffy white clouds, whereas paintings were able to resist almost three times as long. On the other hand, kids taught the opposite, meaning, uh, here's a picture

Speaker A

why it's so powerful is because disgust is so hard in our DNA. The cavemen who didn't care and ate whatever they found like rotten meat or poopy berries, they would have died much more easily, right?

Speaker A

of a marshmallow, but let's pretend it's real, actually gave up three times faster, which means what's in front of you actually matters a lot less than what's in your head. So instead of warm, delicious, ooey, gooey chocolate cake, it's brown artificial material and

Speaker A

yourself next time. Just imagine a bunch of cockroaches crawling over whatever you're craving and just see how quickly that craving disappears. Technique four.

Speaker A

chemical sweeteners masquerading as sugar. Instagram is not this world of possibility and connection. It's just a glass rank table with colored pixels algorithmically designed to give me updates of the maybe shallow and pitiful lives of strangers I do not know nor

Speaker A

could hit a break button and go play with the iPad. There's one group of kids who could resist a lot longer. Can you guess who they were? It was the kids who were dressed up as Batman because every

Speaker A

will ever meet. Instead of seeing the jacket that you really want as a beautiful designer piece intended to make me feel complete, something I really want to buy, see it more as a mass-produced low-quality piece of fabric stitched together by child slaves in

Speaker A

and they immediately put down the iPad and go back to the boring task. Is that not the most adorable thing you've ever heard? This is the concept of psychological distance. The more distance there is from the self, the

Speaker A

Vietnam meant to invisibly manipulate my emotions. Speaking of emotions, I discovered this cute little guy the other day. His name is Ena. I have a tabs problem. Apparently, Ena says I have over 100 tabs on Chrome right now.

Speaker A

George, what's the move here? George could just stay in bed and smoke crack all day, but then George would run out of crack later, right?" And that would kind of suck. Second is to imagine yourself as a complete stranger. This is

Speaker A

Whoops. So, I tell him, "Uh, please organize this for me. Close all the crap and reorganize everything in a way that is much more efficient." And then he does it. Look at that. Or how about this? You're working on something

Speaker A

the solution is just to smoke half the crack now and half the crack later.

Speaker A

important and there's some file you know you need. It's on your computer somewhere. Or maybe it's an attachment in your email. Normally, you'd have to look around, search for it. Maybe it's actually a notion or Slack or whatever,

Speaker A

accomplish anything. Getting into Harvard, becoming a doctor, scaling this channel to what it is today. You can do it, too. In fact, I'm so confident.

Speaker A

but now you can just ask Ena and boom, he finds it for you just like magic. If half your time is spent doing admin or switching around, you're probably wasting hours every day. But with Ena, everything is right there in one place.

Speaker A

you do. And if you're one of the first 25 people to sign up, you get a bunch of bonuses, including the boss system for free. This is a real human chasing you 24/7 every single day. You tell us what

Speaker A

He'll pull up your to-do list, get your meetings, and set reminders in your calendar easily. If you want to stop wasting your time, try Ena today for free. Link in the description.

Speaker A

"Yo, what's going on? Why aren't you at the gym?" If that sounds cool, check it out. I'll see you there. Let's say you're deciding between going to the gym or staying at home. This is when you use the decision matrix seesaw. Draw a

Speaker A

Technique three. Now, make it revolting. There's a bunch of experiments that show just how easy it is to turn people off.

Speaker A

And then you list it out. Gym. Short-term benefits include maybe a mood or energy boost. When I watch your Vampire Diaries later, it'll be guiltfree, too. Long-term, I'll get a six-pack, confidence. But what about the costs? I have to put on gym clothes,

Speaker A

In one experiment, subjects were asked to spit into a fresh bowl of soup. When asked to drink the soup, everyone refused. Even though when you think about it, anytime you drink soup, it's always soup plus saliva that incidentally goes in your mouth anyway,

Speaker A

I'll feel like crap for wasting the day. And that guilt will make me procrastinate even more later. Point is, when you write it out, what was vague now starts to become clear. It's not that you didn't know that sitting on the

Speaker A

right? In another experiment, even just imagining something gross like hair in your food was good enough to make people lose their appetite completely. This is a concept called idea contagion where the thought or knowledge of something infects the enjoyment of it. The reason

Speaker A

brain. And then you do technique six and assembled a council of U's. There's present U, later in the day you, future you, and 80 deathbed you. And we'll even include a little hamster in there, too, because he's your little buddy. They all

Speaker A

why it's so powerful is because disgust is so hardwired in our DNA. The cavemen who didn't care and ate whatever they found like rotten meat or poopy berries, they would have died much more easily, right?

Speaker A

kind of person she becomes. You work hard not because you want some number in your bank account to go higher, because it means you'll get to eventually live a life of freedom. to leave your job to say you to your boss to be able to do

Speaker A

This is called fighting fire with fire, aka the vomit technique. On one hand, you have a strong primitive desire to eat sugars and fats, but on the other hand, you also have a strong primitive desire to avoid disgusting things. Try

Speaker A

in front of you, you cannot escape from it. Anytime you're feeling your discipline slipping, pull out that letter and read it. goals to get into the same motivational headsp space when you first wrote it. To remind yourself why the goal is important and why this

Speaker A

yourself next time. Just imagine a bunch of cockroaches crawling over whatever you're craving and just see how quickly that craving disappears. Technique four.

Speaker A

craving? Because according to research, 92% of desire thoughts actually go away. But for the 8% that don't, they strengthen and develop precisely because of two things. You either replay past memories about them, or you test boundaries with a just in case check.

Speaker A

Now, make yourself superhuman. In this experiment, 180 kids were asked to do a boring task. Next to them, however, was a very tempting iPad game. Kids are told to work on the boring task for as long as possible, but at any point in time, they

Speaker A

Do I even have enough crack left over in my bedroom to smoke? But doing these thought experiments, you start to activate the sensory cortices of the brain. You're imagining what it feels like. the smell, the taste, the warmth,

Speaker A

could hit a break button and go play with the iPad. There's one group of kids who could resist a lot longer. Can you guess who they were? It was the kids who were dressed up as Batman because every

Speaker A

out of reach. So, what that means is when you notice a desire thought and you realize it's starting to snowball out of control, you actually have a short window of opportunity to do something about it. You do what I call an urge

Speaker A

minute or so, the kids were asked if they're working hard. The first group was asked, "Are you working hard?" The second group was asked, "Is Timmy working hard?" The third group was asked, "Is Batman working hard?" Some kids would even answer, "Yes, Batman is working hard,"

Speaker A

mass and make satisfying the craving basically impossible. You want to do this quickly, too. Practice a reflexive no thought action. Step two, exercise.

Speaker A

and they immediately put down the iPad and went back to the boring task. Is that not the most adorable thing you've ever heard? This is the concept of psychological distance. The more distance there is from the self, the

Speaker A

even conclude the relief you got from exercise was even greater than the relief you got from nicotine. The same effect was found for sugar cravings.

Speaker A

more self-control the kids had. I do this myself by wearing my favorite lucky Batman underwear, right? But when I run out, I found other ways to create distance, too. First is using the third person. Like you could say, "Okay,

Speaker A

But when we exercise, we build this sort of cravings shield. In fact, the same study forced these tired, hungry people to hold these unwrapped chocolate bars in their hands. It's like, here, I know you're starving. Hold this delicious

Speaker A

George, what's the move here? George could just stay in bed and smoke crack all day, but then George would run out of crack later, right?" And that would kind of suck. Second is to imagine yourself as a complete stranger. This is

Speaker A

matter what you craved. Could be nicotine, alcohol, caffeine, food sex, exercise, gaming. It all worked. It even worked when you're drunk. The paper literally studied drunk people. Is that not hilarious? The reason why it works is because the craving only develops and

Speaker A

called Solomon's paradox. When we deal with our own problems, we often get in the way. We're insecure, emotionally compromised, or too in the weeds to see the bigger picture. But when you're helping someone else, you're suddenly able to think clearly again. Of course,

Speaker A

In the 1970s, the standard model of addiction was simple. Keep a rat in a small cage where the only thing they could do was drink morphine water. And of course, they're going to get addicted. But build the rats a huge

Speaker A

the solution is just to smoke half the crack now and half the crack later.

Speaker A

get addicted. It's actually a much more interesting question which is what are my options? It's fascinating actually.

Speaker A

Jesus, so freaking obvious. Technique five now. Make it unfair. Also, if you'd rather not fight all this on your own and join the best productivity accelerator ever, I'll teach you the core system, the exact method I used to

Speaker A

chose the other rat almost 100% of the time, even after 30 days of drug absinence and withdrawal. They even scored all the rats on a rat version of the DSM, the stuff psychiatrists used to diagnose addiction, and found that even

Speaker A

accomplish anything. Getting into Harvard, becoming a doctor, scaling this channel to what it is today. You can do it, too. In fact, I'm so confident.

Speaker A

right back to drugs immediately. So in other words, the alternative has to be immediately available and not costly.

Speaker A

Here's my offer. Show up. Do the work. Follow the system. If you d

Speaker A

you're a '90s kid, you know what I'm talking about. But in 1999, they killed off their education program for drugs and poured all the money into sports, music, and drama clubs instead. Then they handed every family a voucher, so

Speaker A

cost was never an issue. Right? 20 years later, the number of drunk 10th graders went from 42% to 5% with daily smoking dropping from 23% to 2%, the lowest of all European countries. Which means if you want better self-control, you need

Speaker A

to give yourself better options. We reach for the phone, eat like crap, binge a bunch of Netflix precisely because we have no other options. So the fix is simple, right? Intentionally create them. For example, have fun, maybe addicting books lying around so

Speaker A

you have something else to reach for other than your phone. Maybe get hobbies that get you out of the house. So, it's not just like play video games or do nothing. It's pickle ball on Tuesdays, a board game on Wednesdays, salsa lessons

Speaker A

on Fridays, hang out with Bob and his ex-wife on Sundays. It's not just eat garbage because that's all you have in the fridge. It's, oh, cool. I just learned four recipes on YouTube. I can cook food that is both healthy and

Speaker A

delicious. For the ultimate hack, get yourself an accountability buddy. Put each other on speed dial and make a pack. Whenever either of you feels a craving building, you're allowed to call the other for support 24/7. You're basically giving yourself a human

Speaker A

version of the rat button. Instead of reaching for another hit of digital fentinel, you reach for a fuzzy friend.

Speaker A

Technique 10, make it invisible. The people who are the most disciplined are actually those who never have to use it.

Speaker A

They engineer their lives to encounter fewer temptations entirely. Psychologists call this situational control. To get control of your situation, do a Q audit. This is based on what addiction therapists already do.

Speaker A

It's actually one of the most effective ways to prevent relapse. In a Q audit, anytime you feel a craving start to build, stop and ask yourself four questions. One, why am I really craving?

Speaker A

Two, what was I feeling just now that could have produced this craving? Three, what thought through my head right before that could have produced this feeling? And four, what's the situation or context that could have produced this thought? And then you tackle and fix the

Speaker A

situation because it's the situation that triggers the thought which triggers how you feel, which then triggers what you do. Let's say every night at 10 p.m.

Speaker A

you somehow end up doom scrolling Instagram for an hour. So, you run the Q audit. By the way, I made you a guide that converts these principles into exact steps you can take for your specific craving. I picked nine of the

Speaker A

most common urges from doom scrolling to overeating to impulse shopping. porn, substance use, and more. For each, we talk about what to do before, during, and after so you build superhuman self-control, a complete 50page guide for free. One, what am I really craving?

Speaker A

Instagram? And more specifically, probably stimulation and escape. Two, what was I feeling right before the craving? Uh, tiredness, boredom, feeling of being mentally drained, maybe. Three, what thought flashed in my head right before that? Probably things like, "I'm

Speaker A

done working. I deserve to turn my brain off for a few minutes. And then four, what situation produced that thought? Uh maybe likely the fact that every night I collapse onto the couch after work with my phone sitting right next to me and

Speaker A

there it is. The problem isn't that your discipline drops exactly at 10 p.m. It's just that you've built a situation that predictably creates the thought, which creates the feeling, which then creates the craving. So instead of fighting Instagram every night, change the

Speaker A

situation. At 9:30, your phone goes on a charger in another room. You sit on the couch without it. And instead, next to you is that awesome addicting book you've always been wanting to read.

Speaker A

Right now, the queue never appears. The thought never starts. You didn't have to win the battle because you removed the battlefield entirely. If you do this systematically with your day, all while practicing the rest of the nine techniques we just talked about, you

Speaker A

will have built for yourself the most comprehensive set of tools for self-control and discipline ever for almost any situation. But we've only just covered how to stop yourself from giving into cravings. There's another half of discipline, which is how do I do

Speaker A

hard things? Luckily, I made a whole video on that, too. Go watch that next.

Speaker A

I'll see you there.

Topics:self-controldisciplineurge surfingmarshmallow testpsychological distancecravingswillpowerbehavioral techniquesaddictionaccountability

Get More with the SozAI App

Transcribe recordings, audio files, and YouTube videos — with AI summaries and speaker detection. 30 minutes free.

App Store Google Play

Or transcribe another YouTube video here →

Free tools: TXT to SRT · SRT Validator · Merge SRT · Subtitle to Text · All tools