YouTube Video — Transcript

You're 8 years old, standing in your father's yard, when he lowers a bronze helmet over your head and buckles it shut under your chin. He says, "Fight," and starts counting. The world shrinks to two eye holes. Your breath comes back hot. It smells of whoever wore this before you. He counts 10, and you still haven't found his hands. A wooden sword cracks against your ribs. 20. 30. At 40, you go down and claw at the buckle. He holds your wrists. "Not until I say."

hot. It smells of whoever wore this before you. He counts 10, and you still haven't found his hands. A wooden sword cracks against your ribs. 20. 30. At 40, you go down and claw at the buckle. He holds your wrists. "Not until I say."

He's still hitting you at 49 before saying, "Tomorrow, you'll do 100." Welcome to your life as a gladiatrix.

You're born in Rome in the year 68. Two rented rooms above a bakery on the Caelian Hill. The floor stays warm all night. The bread's never yours. Your father is Varus. He fought 31 times and won enough of them that they handed him

You're born in Rome in the year 68. Two rented rooms above a bakery on the Caelian Hill. The floor stays warm all night. The bread's never yours. Your father is Varus. He fought 31 times and won enough of them that they handed him a wooden sword and called him free. Free came with a bill. He borrowed to buy your mother out, then borrowed again when she died anyway. Your name is Veracunda. It means modest. Somebody in this family has a sense of humor. You

start training at 8, and by 11, you finally make 100 without going down. At 14, you stop clawing at the buckle at all. At 16, you find his hands before he swings them. That's the first day you get one back on him. Your hands stop

start training at 8, and by 11, you finally make 100 without going down. At 14, you stop clawing at the buckle at all. At 16, you find his hands before he swings them. That's the first day you get one back on him. Your hands stop bleeding somewhere in there. They go hard instead. Iron's not allowed. Not since Spartacus walked out of a school in Capua with practice weapons and set the south of Italy on fire. So, you swing oak, twice the weight of a real sword, none of the glory. Left foot forward, shield up. Not up. Up. And his palm cracks against your elbow until the arm learns. You hit that post so many years, there's a bowl worn into it.

sword, none of the glory. Left foot forward, shield up. Not up. Up. And his palm cracks against your elbow until the arm learns. You hit that post so many years, there's a bowl worn into it.

Chest height, shaped like you. Rufio starts sending girls up the hill to be trained. He owns them. Your father takes the coin and asks nothing. Prima's the last one who lasts. Sold at 9 to clear a family debt down in Ostia. A year older than you, built like a door, and she laughs when she gets hit. It's the most frightening thing you've ever seen a person do. For 4 years, the two of you take turns knocking each other into the dirt. The woman downstairs asks what he thinks he's raising up there. He counts what he still owes onto the table and doesn't answer. At 19, you ask your father to take you down to Rufio. He says no. At 20, you go without him. No freeborn girl under 20 can sell herself to the sand. That's the law. So, you wait for a birthday the way other girls wait for a wedding. Rufio turns your chin with two fingers and checks your teeth. He names a number that clears your father's debt with a little left over. He already knows what you can do. He's been paying to watch you learn it.

than you, built like a door, and she laughs when she gets hit. It's the most frightening thing you've ever seen a person do. For 4 years, the two of you take turns knocking each other into the dirt. The woman downstairs asks what he

Then, he makes you swear. You swear to be burned, bound, beaten with rods, and killed with steel. You say it out loud in front of witnesses in a courtyard that smells of onions. The law has a word for you now. Infamous. You can't inherit. You can't be defended in court. Any man in this city could open your throat and answer to nobody. You walk home with the coins in your fist. Your father doesn't look at them. He looks at the post. The cell is 6 ft by 4. The door bolts from outside. You wake when the bolt goes back. That's the clock here. Bolt, dark, courtyard, post.

to the sand. That's the law. So, you wait for a birthday the way other girls wait for a wedding. Rufio turns your chin with two fingers and checks your teeth. He names a number that clears your father's debt with a little left

Prima's two doors down. For years, you've been knocking her into the dirt, and now you can't reach her without asking a man with keys. They rank you by which post they train you at. First post is the best fighter in the school. Bigger cell. Everyone knows her name. You're fourth post. That's where they put the ones they haven't decided about.

Then, he makes you swear. You swear to be burned, bound, beaten with rods, and killed with steel. You say it out loud in front of witnesses in a courtyard that smells of onions. The law has a word for you now. Infamous. You can't

Breakfast is barley and beans, and nobody talks while you eat it. Twice a week, they hand you a cup of water gone gray and gritty. Bone ash boiled down.

door bolts from outside. You wake when the bolt goes back. That's the clock here. Bolt, dark, courtyard, post.

It's meant to knit you back together faster. It tastes like a hearth. You get fat on purpose. A layer over the muscle catches a blade before it reaches anything that keeps you alive. And a cut to the scalp bleeds like a slaughtered pig. The crowd pays for it. 9 weeks in, Rufio sells you both a fight. Same games, same morning. The night before a fight, they lay out a feast and open the doors so Rome can look at you. The

Bigger cell. Everyone knows her name. You're fourth post. That's where they put the ones they haven't decided about.

condemned eat first, then the fighters. Half the city drifts through to see who's worth the bet. A man in a good tunic reaches over and squeezes your forearm like a fruit. His wife laughs.

It's meant to knit you back together faster. It tastes like a hearth. You get fat on purpose. A layer over the muscle catches a blade before it reaches anything that keeps you alive. And a cut to the scalp bleeds like a slaughtered

Prima doesn't eat. You've watched this girl take a wooden sword to the mouth and laugh with blood on her teeth.

condemned eat first, then the fighters. Half the city drifts through to see who's worth the bet. A man in a good tunic reaches over and squeezes your forearm like a fruit. His wife laughs.

Tonight, she can't hold her cup still. It rings against a table until she puts both hands around it. You want to say something to her. There's nothing in your head but the number Rufio wrote down. Amazon eats like she's bored.

Tonight, she can't hold her cup still. It rings against a table until she puts both hands around it. You want to say something to her. There's nothing in your head but the number Rufio wrote down. Amazon eats like she's bored.

She's the one they matched you with. Older, bigger. A scar runs from her hairline into her eyebrow and pulls it up, so she looks permanently unimpressed. She catches you looking.

She lifts her cup. In 9 hours, you'll try to kill each other. Tonight, you pass her the bread. The tunnel smells of piss and pine smoke. 50,000 people are stomping above you, and it comes up through the stone into your knees. They

She lifts her cup. In 9 hours, you'll try to kill each other. Tonight, you pass her the bread. The tunnel smells of piss and pine smoke. 50,000 people are stomping above you, and it comes up through the stone into your knees. They

up exactly the way your father taught her to. First-timers die more than anyone. Everyone in this trade knows it, and nobody says it out loud.

buckle your helmet on an hour early and leave you in it. The world goes small again. You wait in there. Prima goes out of the second hour. Through two eye holes the size of coins, you watch her walk into white light and put her shield up exactly the way your father taught her to. First-timers die more than anyone. Everyone in this trade knows it, and nobody says it out loud.

One's dressed as Mercury, who carries souls down to the dead. And he lays a bar of iron straight from the brazier against her leg to see if she flinches.

She lasts a little over a minute. You don't hear the sound she makes because 50,000 people are making a different one. Two figures walk out onto the sand.

Slaves come with rakes and turn the sand over. 9 minutes, and the floor looks like nobody died on it. Then, a hand lays on your shoulder and the man tells you it's time.

One's dressed as Mercury, who carries souls down to the dead. And he lays a bar of iron straight from the brazier against her leg to see if she flinches.

building has said your own name in 9 weeks. Then, the gate. The light is white. The sand is raked into clean lines and they only did that an hour ago for her. You're wearing almost nothing.

She doesn't flinch. The other one's dressed as Charon and carries a mallet. He doesn't need it. They drag her out through the gate they keep for the dead.

comes out the far gate. The noise doubles. You go at her. The first cut you land opens her shoulder and the crowd makes a sound like water going over rocks. She doesn't slow. She doesn't even look at her. Her shield

Slaves come with rakes and turn the sand over. 9 minutes, and the floor looks like nobody died on it. Then, a hand lays on your shoulder and the man tells you it's time.

You lift your sword and that's the one place the sleeve doesn't cover. You put your blade into her thigh and the sound is nothing like wood. She screams in your ear like an animal in a stall. You never feel hers go in at all. Then,

[music] You turn. The weapon check comes first. A magistrate runs his thumb down your blade where the crowd can see. Half of them have money on this. They want to know the steel is real. It's real. They announce you as Achillea. Nobody in this

Released. The both of you. Sent away standing. Amazon stands. You claw the buckle. Nobody holds your wrists this time. Two figures walk out onto the sand toward you. You know what the iron's for. You watched it an hour ago. You

building has said your own name in 9 weeks. Then, the gate. The light is white. The sand is raked into clean lines and they only did that an hour ago for her. You're wearing almost nothing.

those seats like what they saw enough to pay a stonecutter. He cuts the two of you into marble. Shields up. Helmets on the ground at your feet where you threw them. Two words above your heads in Greek. They were released. The crowd

A loincloth, a belt, greaves on your shins, a sleeve of overlapping plate on your sword arm. Above the waist, nothing at all. [music] That's what sold the seats. 50,000 people see your body before they see your fighting. Amazon

Under you, Achillea. Amazon fights four more years and buys her way out. She never comes to look at it. Your father walks up the Caelian Hill alone, past the bakery. The two rooms are still warm. The post is still standing in the

comes out the far gate. The noise doubles. You go at her. The first cut you land opens her shoulder and the crowd makes a sound like water going over rocks. She doesn't slow. She doesn't even look at her. Her shield

Across the sea in Halicarnassus, a slab of marble stands in the sun. Your shield's up. Your helmet's on the ground at your feet and your face is bare. And you're breathing. It outlasts the emperor. It outlasts the [music] arena.

edge comes back across your forehead. Your own blood fills one eye hole and the whole arena tilts red. You get her shield down. This is where it finishes.

Vestal Virgin.