Marie Forleo’s 3 Steps to Create the Life You Want

You do not have to settle for the status quo, that business, that career, that life. You've been dreaming of, it's all possible for you and then some. In fact, did you know there's a three-step formula that can help any of us turn our dreams into reality and have a damn good time along the way? Hey there, I'm Marie Forleo, founder of B-School, Time Genius, and author of the number one New York Times bestseller, Everything is Figureoutable. In this video, we're going to break down a very simple but very powerful formula to turning our dream lives into our real lives. And I got to say, anytime I have found myself lost or frustrated or feeling stuck or in just some way not living into my fullest potential, it's because I fell off the damn wagon with one or more of these steps. And it's important to remember these steps. They're really a process, right? Turning our dreams into reality doesn't happen overnight, of course it doesn't. It takes work and effort and time, and there's always going to be twists and turns as we go. However, after practicing and tinkering with these tools for the past few decades—and I still am—and after working with hundreds of thousands of people, let me tell you, this framework is the most reliable thing I found yet. So grab yourself a pen, a notebook, and let's dive in. Step number one in our formula is have the courage to be super, super honest with yourself about what you really want. So this is especially true if maybe what you want during this season of your life looks a whole lot different than what other people around you want or think you should want. I'm going to give you some examples in a moment, but first, what we're really saying here is that step number one to turning your dream life into your real life is you have to clarify exactly what your unique dream is. You got to name it and claim it. And once it's crystal clear for you, you got to get unapologetic and playfully ambitious about the fact that you are going to make that dream come true. So let me give you an example from my life, especially if your dream goes against the grain like mine did. So I remember when I was just getting started in my career, I had lots of different romantic relationships before I met Josh, and all the men I dated wanted to eventually get married. They wanted to go live in the suburbs, and they wanted to have me pop out a bunch of kids. I was like, nope, nope, and more nope. Not one part of me wants any part of that. I never fantasized about a wedding dress or a wedding day. That just wasn't my dream. And I've always known that. I never wanted to have biological kids. And so many people, probably for like 15 years or so, said, "Oh Marie, you're going to change your mind," or "You're going to regret this," or "This is just a phase." And some people were even like, "What is wrong with you?" And I was like, "What's wrong with me? What's wrong with you thinking that you know my dream life better than I do?" That is some arrogant, and honestly, I've done the same thing with my business. You know, for years I had people saying, "Hey, your first book was really great, but you need to write another book. Like, where's the next book? Why aren't you writing another book?" And I was like, "Y'all, I am on my own divine timeline, not your timeline or society's timeline. When my next book is ready, when it's my dream to bring it to life, you're going to be the first to know." And when Everything is Figureoutable was ready to come to life, it debuted at number one. You know, when I work with people, I always say, as your coach, I'm here to help you get virtually anything you want, but first you got to tell me what that is. And you would be shocked by how many people can't say exactly what their biggest dream is. I mean, right now, if I asked you, "What's the single most important project or goal or dream that you're making a reality?" could you tell me? If I asked you, "What are five goals that you are so freaking excited about getting accomplished over the next six months?" could you name them like boom, boom, boom, boom, boom right off the top of your head? Most people would have a little trouble, and that's okay because if you do the following exercises, you're going to start to find that clarity, right? And it's going to feel so good. And here's the best part: none of your answers got to be perfect, and they are certainly not permanent. Everybody's goals change and evolve over time, but the point here is we want to get you aimed in the right direction. We want to unearth what you really want in your heart. What is your dream career, your dream business, your dream life actually look like? Not what your family or your friends or society has programmed you to want, but what do you want in your heart and soul? Sound good? Okay, so here's prompt number one. This is one of my favorites: What would your life be like if it were exactly the way that you wanted to be today? What would you change? What would you enhance? What would you give more energy to? What would you do differently? What would you appreciate more? I want you to spend some time just answering those questions right after you watch this video. Now, the reason that I love this prompt so much is because it instantly fires up our imagination and quickly helps us envision our dream life. And from there, you start to tease out, right, some little very specific and actionable goals to get you closer to that vision. So this prompt helps you think big. It's broad, it's fun, it's like a blue sky type of experience. And personally, I believe most of us, we just don't do that enough. Now, once you've played around in that zone, there's another prompt that you can experiment with if you want to come at this from a completely different perspective. So here's prompt number two: Start thinking about what you don't want in your life. So what are you no longer willing to tolerate or put up with or accept? Now, you might be saying to yourself, "Wait, wait, hold up, Marie. Like, you want me to focus on all the negative stuff in my life and list all the things I don't want?" Yes, I do. And here's why. You see, most of us are super clear about the things that make us feel stressed out or frustrated on a consistent basis. And sticking our heads in the sand when it comes to our problems, that doesn't solve them at all, at all. Plus, it's often the inverse of those things that lead us to our dream life. But first, you have to be honest with yourself about what's not working. So, for instance, I remember there was this one time when Josh and I were both working from our tiny little home, and even though we love spending time together, we were on top of each other, and it was awful. There was no privacy. We couldn't think straight. It was just not good all around. And then we figured, "Hey, well, what if we kept our cute little house but we build out these two separate workspaces on the property so everybody gets the peace and the quiet that they need?" Now, of course, this didn't happen instantly, but by being honest about that frustration point, it helped us create our dream solution, and we are so much happier these days. So I think it's useful to take a few minutes after this video and just make that list: What are the things that you deal with that leave you frustrated or stressed or embarrassed or unhappy on a regular basis? And nobody's got to see this list but you. But you have to have the courage to be honest with yourself about what's not working in your life. And then, what's the inverse of those things? Here's what's cool: There's a good chance you are going to uncover some very worthy goals that'll help you start living your dream life faster than you can imagine. Now, of course, we could go on and on and on with all different kinds of prompts to help you tap into your heart and unearth what you really want, but I think you get the idea here. So let's move on to step number two in our formula of turning our dreams into reality, which is this: Write down your top goals daily. Now, I'm going to explain that daily piece in a sec, but first, did you know that people who write down their goals are 42% more likely to...

dreams into reality and have a damn good time along the way hey there I'm Marie forio founder of B school time genius and author of the number one New York Times bestseller everything is figureoutable and in this video we're

going to break down a very simple but very powerful formula to turning our dream lives into our real lives and I got to say anytime I have found myself lost or frustrated or feeling stuck or in just some way not living into my

fullest potential it's because I fell off the damn wagon with one or more of these steps and it's important to remember these steps they're really a process right turning our dreams into reality it doesn't happen overnight of course it doesn't it takes work and

effort and time and there's always going to be twists and turns as we go however after practicing and tinkering with these tools for the past few decades and I still am and after working with hundreds of thousands of people let me

tell you this framework is the most reliable thing I found yet so grab yourself a pen a notebook and let's Dive In Step number one in our formula is have the courage to be super super honest with yourself about what you

really want so this is especially true if maybe what you want during this season of your life looks a whole lot different than what other people around around you want or think you should want I'm going to give you some examples in a

moment but first what we're really saying here is that step number one to turning your dream life into your real life is you have to clarify exactly what your unique dream is you got to name it and claim it and once it's Crystal Clear

for you you got to get Unapologetic and playfully ambitious about the fact that you are going to make that dream come true so let me give you an example from my life especially if your dream go goes against the grain like M did so I

remember when I was just getting started in my career I had lots of different romantic relationships before I met Josh and all the men I dated wanted to eventually get married they wanted to go live in the suburbs and they wanted to

have me pop out a bunch of kids I was like nope nope and more nope not one part of me wants any part of that I never fantasized about a wedding dress or a wedding day that just wasn't my

dream and I've always known that I never wanted to have biological kids and so many people probably for like 15 years or so said oh Marie you're going to change your mind or you're going to regret this or this is just a phrase and

some people were even like what is wrong with you and I was like what's wrong with me what's wrong with you thinking that you know my dream life better than I do that is some arrogant and honestly I've done the same thing with

my business you know for years I had people saying hey your first book was really great but you need to write another book like where's the next book why aren't you writing another book and and I was like y'all I am on my own

Divine timeline not your timeline or society's timeline when my next book is ready when it's my dream to bring it to life you're going to be the first to know and when everything is figure out but was ready to come to life it debuted

at number one you know when I work with people I always say as your coach I'm here to help you get virtually anything you want but first you got to tell me what that is and you would be shocked by

how many people can't say exactly what their biggest dream is is I mean right now if I asked you what's the single most important project or goal or dream that you're making a reality could you tell me if I asked you what are five

goals that you are so freaking excited about getting accomplished over the next 6 months could you name them like boom boom boom boom boom right off the top of your head most people would have a little trouble and that's okay because

if you do the following exercises you're going to start to find that Clarity right and it's going to feel so good and here's the best part none of your answers got to be perfect and they are certainly not permanent everybody's

goals change and evolve over time but the point here is we want to get you aimed in the right direction we want to unearth what you really want in your heart what is your dream career your dream business your dream life actually

look like not what your family or your friends or Society has programmed you to want but what do you want in your heart and soul sound good okay so here's prompt number one this is one of my favorites what would your life be like

if it were exactly the way that you wanted to be today what would you change what would you enhance what would you give more energy to what would you do differently what would you appreciate more I want you to spend some time just

answering those questions right after you watch this video now the reason that I love this prompt so much is because it instantly fires up our imagination and quickly helps us envision our dream life and from there you start to tease out

right some little very specific and actionable goals to get you closer to that Vision so this prompt helps you think big it's broad it's fun it's like a blue sky type of experience and personally I believe most of us we just

don't do that enough now once you've played around in that zone there's another prompt that you can experiment with if you want to come at this from a completely different perspective so here's prompt number two start thinking about what you don't want in your life

so what are you no longer willing to tolerate or put up with or accept now you might be saying to yourself wait wait hold up Marie like you want me to focus on all the negative stuff in my

life and list all the things I don't want yes I do and here's why you see most of us are super clear about the things that make us feel stressed out or frustrated on a consistent basis and sticking our heads in the sand when it

comes to our problems that doesn't solve them at all at all plus it's often the inverse of those things that lead us to our dream life but first you have to be honest with yourself about what's not working so for instance I remember there

was this one time when Josh and I were both working from our tiny little home and even though we love spending time together we were on top of each other and it was awful there was no privacy we

couldn't think straight it was just not good all around and then we figured hey well what if we kept our cute little house but we build out these two separate workspaces on the property so everybody gets the peace and the quiet

that they need now of course this didn't happen instantly but by being honest about that frustration point it helped us create our Dream solution and we are so much happier these days so I think it's useful take a few minutes after

this video and just make that list what are the things that you deal with that leave you frustrated or stressed or embarrassed or unhappy on a regular basis and nobody's got to see this list but you but you have to have the courage

to be honest with yourself about what's not working in your life and then what's the inverse of those things here's what's cool there's a good chance you are going to uncover some very worthy goals that'll help you start living your

dream life faster than you can imagine now of course we could go on and on and on with all different kinds of prompts to help you tap into your heart and unearth what you really want but I think

you get the idea here so let's move on to step number two in our formula of turning our dreams into reality which is this WR down your top goals daily now I'm going to explain that daily piece in

a sec but first did you know that people who write down their goals are 42% more likely to achieve them than those who don't 42 freaking per. that's a whole lot of percent and this is all based on

solid research done by Dr Gail Matthews at the Dominican University in California now look I know this sounds really basic and you've probably heard this before but let's take this one step further okay because even for people who

do write down their goals from what I've seen the vast majority do not look at them enough for instance most people will sit down and they'll do a big goal setting session in January right they write everything down but then they

stick it in the journal and they put it in a drawer and they don't look at it again until December at which point they're like well wait a minute how' everything get so off track that my friends is why I write my goals down

every single day I know my top 10 goals by heart and I write them down every morning it takes me less than 2 minutes and it helps me keep this wild brain super focused and on track and actually

I do something else I created called the midyear reset and I do it around June where I go through this very full and detailed process to re-evaluate and realign my goals and my dreams so that I am current and on track as I head into

the second half of the year in fact this year I'm going to take a special group of people through my midyear reset process personally so if you're interested in that I'll tell you more about it in just a few minutes but first

let's keep going onto our last and final step of the formula which is to get at least one person on your dream team look there is not one meaningful thing in my business or my life that I've created or

accomplished solely on my own I mean sure the inspiration the vision the energy the drive the work ethic I bring all that to the table every day but every step of the way besides believing in myself which is key there's always

been at least one other person who not only believed in me but encouraged me or taught me something I didn't know or introduce me to a book or an idea or another person or a possibility that helped me keep going and let's be honest

for those of us who are wildly ambitious and creative it can get lonely sometimes can't it I mean we need other people to connect with and to brainstorm with and to talk with we need other people that really get us and get the unique

challenges that we face and we need people to turn to when things go sideways or we start doubting ourselves or we just hit a big roadblock so how does connecting with others relate to turning our dreams into reality the

science actually backs this up big time in that same study by Dr Gail Matthews she found that if you share your written goals with a supportive friend and check in on each other's progress your chances for Success Skyrocket in fact 76% of the

group that did all those things they wrote down their goals they shared it with a supportive friend and they shared their progress either totally reached their goals or were well on their way and here's the best part not one part of

this formula is rocket science right it's all super doable it's simple it's science backed and it works so I want you to think about this in your own world for a minute do you have at least one person that can be on your dream

team is there someone who believes in you and who you can connect with and share your progress with on a regular basis and if we just broaden out a little bit do you have trusted people that you can talk to when you need to

make a smart decision in your business or your life or people that you can call upon when you hit a Health crisis or a family crisis or a relationship crisis because we all hit those points if not now is the time for you to go find those

people and look if you want me to be a part of your dream team and you want to connect with my team and my most trusted friends and colleagues this is your chance I am launching one of my personal

dreams it's actually been something that I've been journaling about and talking about and noodling on for years it's called dream club and it is this extraordinary six-month live coaching and Community experience where you get access to me to my team and to my

nearest and dearest friends and collaborators like never before and you get to connect with other dream clubbers all all around the world so there's going to be goal setting and live workshops and co-working sessions and beauty throwdowns and dance sessions all

designed to help you set and reach your most important goals and have a damn good time along the way now dream Club is invite only if I personally sent you an email with a link to this video today

then your dream Club invitation is already on the way to your inbox now if you're not subscribe to my emails but you're interested in dream Club cuz it's going to be bananas go to secret dream club.com now and request an invitation that's

secret dream club.com and request that invite then keep an eye on your inbox because official invites start rolling out this week I got to say dream Club is something that I have wanted to create for years and it's something I am so

beyond excited about if it's the right fit for you I really hope I get to see you in the club but no matter what make yourself a promise right now to use this simple three-step formula to bring your

most important goals and dreams dreams to life because guess what you would not have those dreams in your heart unless you already had the goods to make them happen thank you so much for watching and until next time stay on your game

and keep going for your Big Dreams because the world really does need that very special gift that only you have [Music]