Speaker A
I've been transformed by the very therapy that I developed.
Ask about this video. Answers come from its transcript only — with the timestamp, so you can check them.
Generated from the transcript and can be wrong — check the timestamp.
Full Transcript — Download SRT & Markdown
Speaker A
Because once I realized that I had to teach the clients acceptance,
Speaker A
I realized at that very same moment in my own personal life,
Speaker A
I had somehow lost my ability to accept.
Speaker A
And that I was going to have to learn it myself.
Speaker A
And so I ended up taking a sabbatical point or time off from my job.
Speaker A
What I found out when I went to the first Buddhist monastery,
Speaker A
was within days I knew that I had found exactly what my clients needed.
Speaker A
I had no doubts about it.
Speaker A
I figured that out right away.
Speaker A
That acceptance was exactly what they needed,
Speaker A
but that they had a way of teaching it that I could translate.
Speaker A
My problem was I tried to take it stock and barrel to my clients.
Speaker A
At Chesta Abbey,
Speaker A
the basic message was,
Speaker A
all the time to try to radically accept everything.
Speaker A
And to let go of desires and what you want.
Speaker A
So we got jobs every single morning.
Speaker A
And so it's the idea of practicing letting go of wanting a particular job.
Speaker A
If you were sweeping, they would tell you when the bell rang for work to stop.
Speaker A
They would tell you, stop in the middle because finishing is just your own thing.
Speaker A
You're trying to do something you want to do.
Speaker A
Just let go.
Speaker A
So it was this whole practice of just constantly moment by moment letting go.
Speaker A
Of what you want and radically accepting what is.
Speaker A
It was the first environment I'd ever been in that was completely non-sexist.
Speaker A
I thought I'd die and go to heaven, I'm not kidding.
Speaker A
It was so unbelievable.
Speaker A
Men and women would get the same jobs, there was no real distinction.
Speaker A
I mean, academically it may not have been helpful if I hadn't just completely thrown myself into it.
Speaker A
But since I'd decided ahead of time that I had to learn this,
Speaker A
my only option was just to do everything I was told.
Speaker A
You know, just throw myself in.
Speaker A
And you, you know, I was a student, so there were eight of us.
Speaker A
We did everything together.
Speaker A
It was really the practice of letting go of having to have what you wanted.
Speaker A
At any moment.
Speaker A
And the recognition that you didn't have to always have whatever it was you wanted.
Speaker A
That had a big effect in some ways on the therapy that in the sense that I tried to teach clients,
Speaker A
suppressing what you want is not the way to go.
Speaker A
You have to radically accept that you want something you don't have and it's not a catastrophe.
Speaker A
And so I stayed there for two months, then I went to Germany,
Speaker A
to the Catholic priest.
Speaker A
It was actually the first time in my life I ever talked to someone who actually understood me.
Speaker A
The spiritual part of me.
Speaker A
Given that my spiritual part of myself is the core of myself,
Speaker A
more central than anything else about me.
Speaker A
Having that understood was an amazing experience.
Speaker A
It had a transformative effect on me.
Speaker A
What it did is it gave me a home.
Speaker A
I am now convinced,
Speaker A
that it was the practice of radical acceptance every moment.
Speaker A
That can will transform you.
Speaker A
I don't have the slightest doubt.
Speaker A
It would transform everyone.
Speaker A
But it has to be a regular practice.
Speaker A
And radical acceptance doesn't mean you don't try to change things.
Speaker A
Because you only have to radically accept the moment that you're in.
Speaker A
And the past.
Speaker A
But you can try to change the next moment.
Speaker A
You can't change anything if you don't accept it.
Speaker A
Because if you don't accept it, you'll change try to change something else that you think is reality.
Speaker A
So radical acceptance is simply the radical acceptance that reality is what it is.
Speaker A
And if you want to change it, then you work on changing it.
Speaker A
Which is perfectly legitimate also.
Speaker A
But I think it's hard to change something if you don't accept it in the first place.
![[Full Episode]Nothing Else Compares（English-dubbed）#cdr… — Transcript](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/YYJruShKWz8/maxresdefault.jpg)
