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Pop quiz. What is the most bullied country in history? You might think Korea, wedged between China and Japan, invaded so often it's practically had a revolving door and is still split in half like a Cold War souvenir. But Korea
Explore Poland's turbulent history of disappearing and reemerging as a nation through invasions, partitions, and internal conflicts.
Key Takeaways
- Poland's history is marked by repeated disappearances due to internal divisions and external invasions.
- Christianization was key to Poland's initial recognition as a legitimate kingdom in medieval Europe.
- The fragmentation of Poland into duchies weakened the state and made it vulnerable to foreign powers.
- Despite severe oppression and partitions, Poland has repeatedly restored its sovereignty.
- Modern Poland has emerged resilient after centuries of conflict and foreign domination.
Summary
- Poland is considered the most bullied country in history, having disappeared from the map multiple times.
- The origins of Poland as a recognized state began in 966 AD with the baptism of Duke Mieszko I, aligning Poland with Christian Europe.
- Internal family conflicts and succession disputes led to Poland's first disappearance as a kingdom in the early 11th century.
- The seniority system divided Poland into multiple duchies, causing 200 years of internal strife and political fragmentation.
- External powers like the Holy Roman Empire, Bohemia, and the Teutonic Knights exploited Poland's internal divisions.
- Poland experienced multiple partitions by neighboring empires, erasing it from the political map by 1795.
- Despite repeated erasures, Poland reemerged several times, notably under leaders like Casimir the Restorer and Vladislav I.
- The video also touches on the cultural suppression Poland faced under foreign rule, including bans on language and education.
- Poland was a Soviet satellite state until 1991 and has been independent and strong since then.
- The video uses a mix of historical facts and humor to explain Poland's complex and often tragic history.
Chapters
- 00:00Introduction: Most Bullied Country in History
- 01:24Poland's Origins and Christianization (966 AD)
- 02:53Succession Crisis and First Disappearance
- 04:27Bespam's Rule and Political Chaos
- 05:49Sponsor Break: Surf Shark VPN
- 07:15The Seniority System and Fragmentation
- 08:56External Threats and Territorial Losses
- 10:56Poland's Reemergence and Later History
Full Transcript — Download SRT & Markdown
Speaker A
wasn't wiped off the map. Unlike another good pick might be Congo, enslaved, colonized, and carved up by foreign powers who treated it like a resource vending machine. But Congo's suffering came from one monster at a time and, quote unquote, only suffered for 140
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years, not 400 years. Unlike maybe you could say Palestine, taken over six times by different empires, caught in a century of conflict, and still waiting for a resolution. But even in its darkest moments, it was never completely wiped off the political map.
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Unlike—sorry, just got this awfully annoying thing in my throat. But I'm trying to say no country on Earth is bullied more than Poland. Yes, the country of Bubber and Mika. The country that was undone, fragmented, invaded, partitioned,
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zombified, erased, occupied, and controlled. This is a time teleporter. Blah blah blah goes back in time. We've done this two times already. Just kidding. Let's go find out why it always went wrong. Historically facts, part 11.
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Before we talk about how it kept disappearing, we should talk about how it appeared. Our first stop is 966 AD.
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Before the year 966, Poland was a tribal territory ruled by the Pious dynasty. They had military, economic, and administrative structures. But it wasn't recognized by neighboring powers as a legitimate kingdom. Only one person can make you recognized as a proper state.
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Ladies and gentlemen, welcome our recurring guest, Jesus Christ. In the eyes of all the cool kids, so the Germanic, Italian, and Bohemian kingdoms, you are only a real state if you are a Christian. So in 966, the ruler Mesco got himself baptized and
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became the Duke of Poland. Yep, he didn't proclaim himself as a king. He was a humble lad and stayed duke his whole life. Though the more likely reason is that the Holy Roman Empire would have eaten them alive if he set
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himself up as a threat. So his son Boliswa first the brave became in 1025 the king of Poland and the kingdom of Poland was born and existed for exactly 6 years. Yep. The poor place only existed for 6 years and the exact thing
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Mesco predicted had happened. Let me explain how. Masco's son Bulisaf the first was technically the first king of Poland but he only crowned himself king literally the same day that he died.
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Very convenient for his son Masco II who then became king without having to actually crown himself king. Slight problem though, brothers. If there is one thing that Polish people hate more than Russia, it is brothers. Bulisaf the brave had three sons and he wasn't
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stupid. He knew that after his passing, his kingdom would be split between all three, and that would certainly mean a civil war and the Polish state splitting apart. So to fix this, he kicked his two oldest sons out of the family to ensure
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his smartest and son with the most potential would inherit the entire kingdom, minimizing the risk of the entire kingdom falling apart. What the brave man forgot is that brothers have feelings and they were pissed off. Otto was exiled and escaped to Italy while
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Basprim escaped to the Holy Roman Empire. So while Mico II is getting cozy on the throne thinking, "Ah, yes, stability at last," his exiled brothers were basically doing Rocky training montages in foreign courts. Best brim shows up in the Holy Roman Empire
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whispering sweet nothings into Emperor Conrad's ear like, "Hey buddy, you know who's not paying you tributes like a good little vessel? My brother." Meanwhile, Otto is in Italy probably trying to learn swordplay and democracy from the Pope. The result, Poland gets
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invaded. From the west, from the east, even a civil war started between the pagans and the Christians. It's like everyone got a group chat invite titled, "Let's wreck Poland." And by 1031, Miasco II is booted from the throne. The
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country is in chaos, and guess who returns? Baspam. He rides back into Poland with German backing and all the siblings' spite in the world. And for a brief moment, he rules. He even forcefully castrated Mico II because freak you, I guess. It shouldn't come as a
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surprise that Besprium was a horrendous leader. He cancels the royal title altogether and rules as just a duke most likely to satisfy his German patrons.
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He gets assassinated within a year. No suspects, but we are guessing the killer's name can probably rhyme with Drother because Otto steps up, tries to claim the throne, lasts even shorter, gets murdered too. So we are two brothers down, zero stable kings, and
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Poland is doing what it does best, bleeding in five directions at once. Eventually, Mesco II returns to the throne like, "Hey, remember me?" But Poland is in such shambles he has to rule a split territory and accept being
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demoted back to Duke by the same Holy Roman Empire his dad was trying to avoid. The Kingdom of Poland disappeared for the first time. It does get restored a little bit later by Casemir the first, also known as the Restorer. So, we're
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back on track, baby. Hell yeah. For a whopping 80 years. By the way, you know what won't take 80 years? This segue to our sponsor. You ever feel like the internet knows a little bit too much about you? That's because it does.
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Strong ruler, great war tactician, and proud owner of one very bad idea. On his deathbed, Boliswaf looks at his sons and thinks, "Hmm, I could give the crown to one of you." Or, hear me out, I could give all of you your own pieces of
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Poland. And that is how Poland entered its second slow-motion disappearance. Because instead of a king, Poland got four of them, and then eight, and then 12, and then no one really knows how many there were. This brilliant system was
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called the seniority system. A sort of monarchy light. The eldest son got Krakow and the prestigious title of senior duke while the rest get their own duchies to play with. The catch? The younger brothers were still supposed to
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obey the eldest. They didn't. What followed was 200 years of dukes fighting other dukes, sons stepping uncles, cousins suing cousins over a pond, and everyone calling themselves a rightful ruler of something. The map of Poland starts looking less like a country and
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more like a cracked mirror. Meanwhile, external neighbors are watching this like it's a reality TV. Bohemia takes Alicia. German settlers pour into the west and build towns that to this day still end in Berg. The Holy Roman Empire
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keeps accidentally annexing things. And worst of all, the Teutonic Knights get invited in to help Christianize Prussia and promptly forget to leave. Poland is still there technically. But if you ask someone who's in charge, the answer would be no one. Politically, the
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country disappeared to a tribal time. But then finally, in the early 1300s, someone decides enough is enough. Enter Vladislav the First. Short guy, long name, huge patience. He spent decades fighting off rifles, holding toge
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slowly reuniting the Duchess. He's exiled more times than most people change shoes. But somehow he keeps coming back just like Poland. And in 1320, against all odds, he gets crowned king of Poland and Krakow, the first real king in over 200 years.
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Disappearance number two reversed. Now Poland is finally back on its feet for 65 years. Come on, Poland. Rookie numbers. 1385. Poland is once again facing a crisis. The king dies without an heir. So they reach out to the
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biggest not yet cursified state in Europe, Lithuania. The deal. If their grand duke Yoga converts to Christianity, marries the 12-year-old Polish queen, and merges his country with Poland, he will get the crown. He agrees converts marries gets baptized, and takes the name Vladislav
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II because this family has zero chills about recycling names. And just like that, Poland and Lithuania become one of the largest countries in Europe, the Polish Lithuanian Commonwealth. For once, and the only time ever, Poland disappeared for a beneficial reason. It
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was multilingual, multithnic, and massive. From the Baltic to the Black Sea, bigger than France, richer than England, and more importantly, the Germans were afraid to meddle with them.
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For a while, it works. They kicked out the annoying Tutonic Knights. They hold off the Mongols and even invaded Moscow twice. But, of course, it's Poland, so the high never lasts. Fast forward 200 years. Welcome to the Swedish deluj or
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as the Poles call it porttop which literally means the flood because that's how it felt. Fast, aggressive, devastating. But why Sweden? Why the funny country of IKEA and meatballs?
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Well, because of petty reasons. Of course, they noticed Poland had a lot of gold and money, so that made them a nice target. But that wasn't the reason they invaded. The main reason was a really long-standing rivalry. A couple hundred
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years ago, just when the Commonwealth started growing, the king Sigusman III somehow through honestly sheer random tomfoolery ended up as the king of the Commonwealth and inherit the kingdom of Sweden. Lucky lucky guy. Or so he thought. Firstly, he was Catholic and
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Sweden was just done turning fully Protestant. That's on its own a recipe for disaster. But secondly, the king rather lived in the Commonwealth than in Sweden. The nobility in Sweden had enough of him and kicked him out as the
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king of Sweden and elected a different guy. But Sigisman never got over that. He kept claiming the Swedish throne even after they told him to go baptize a lake. And Sweden 50 years later, they never forgot that Poland was housing
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this papist drama king with a royal grudge. So when Sweden looked at Poland in 1655, they didn't see just a neighbor. They saw unfinished business.
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It all happened 50 years ago, but they really needed a good reason to plunder this massive country. And plunder they did. What happened next was not a war.
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It was a 5-year natural disaster. Warsaw burned, Krakow occupied, monasteries looted, nobles fleeing, civilians dead, starved or sold. The population drops by half and the fourth disappearance turned Poland into a wasteland. Still on the map, but basically nothing left to fill
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it in with. The Commonwealth limps into the 1700s with a massive hangover. The nobles are fractured, the cities are burnt, the armies broke, and the monarchy, oh boy, they invent a new political system so dysfunctional it deserves its own sitcom. The Libram
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veto, a parliamentary rule where if one noble disagrees with anything, the entire decision is cancelled. In 1764, a puppet king is elected. Steniswave August Bonatosski, charming, French educated, progressive, and deeply in love with Katherine the Great, the empress of Russia. Yeah, that's right.
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The king of Poland was once the sidepiece of the woman who would eventually help destroy him. Isn't that poetry? He tries to modernize Poland, set up schools, build a functioning government, but every time he lifts a finger, Gatherine lifts a boot. The
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nobles funded by Russia or even the Persians and Austrians scream about tradition and freedom. And by freedom, they mean the freedom to sabotage their own country for personal gain.
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Eventually, the neighbors decide Poland's too incompetent to be left alone. In 1772, they meet up and go, "So instead of fighting over Poland, why don't we just slice it like a cake?" First partition, boom, 30% of Poland is
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gone overnight. Poland's like, "Wait, what?" But tries to keep going. Then in 1791, plot twist, Poland writes one of the most progressive constitutions in Europe. It guarantees civil rights, strengthens the monarchy, reduces noble privilege, and Russia sees this and
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immediately starts foaming at the mouth. How dare you to get your act together without permission. So in 1793, they hit them with the second partition. More land gone. Poland's borders now look like someone sneezed midmap. And finally, in 1795, after a failed Polish
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uprising, Russia, Austria, and Prussia meet one last time and just delete Poland from existence. No fanfare, no epic battle, just bureaucracy, maps, and signatures. Disappearance number five.
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Poland is now officially dead. And it stayed like that for, well, look at that, just 12 years. revived by an ambitious French general, Napoleon.
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After he beats Prussia, he gives the Poles a consultation prize, the Duchy of Warsaw. Sick. It was technically like a French puppet state, but the polls are hyped. They get a constitution, reforms, even a Polish army. But we all know what
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happened at the Congress of Vienna. Napoleon loses again, and the monarchies in Europe go right back to drawing borders. The duche is liquidated.
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Austria, Prussia, and Russia redivide the lands. And the sixth disappearance from the map entirely for the second time has happened. And this time they were bullied the harshest. The Polish stayed gone for another whopping 103 years. But this time, as opposed to
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before, the three bully countries really wanted to erase Poland. I originally wanted to fast travel to when Poland finally reemerged, but you can't believe to what extent the countries tried to erase Poland. Let's start from the bad to the worst. The bad, the Austrian
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Empire. They got the poorest and most rural part of the country. So they didn't care too much about it as there wasn't too much money to be made from it. They initially suppressed Polish culture like the rest. And by that I
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mean they literally encouraged Polish peasants to kill Polish nobility which they did. But after the Austrian Empire became the Austrohungarian Empire in 1867, they suddenly were like, "You know what?
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You can speak Polish in your schools." And you know what? Governarians still weren't good. But to the Polish stuck in the German and Russian empires, it was basically Disney World to them.
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If the Austrohungarian Empire was West Berlin, then the others were in the gooluck. The wars Prussia/German Empire.
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Hello, Yan Kowalsski. Oh, sorry, I mean Johan Kowalstein. I sure love the city of Rush. Oh, sorry, I mean Brelau.
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Johan, do you want to get some Perogi? Oh, sorry, I mean Gafula Tiktashen. The Germans didn't want to just suppress Polish culture. They wanted to erase it.
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Not with the sword as in the Second World War, that's for later, but with the pen, which is mightier than the blah blah blah blah blah. Everything was Germanized. Speaking Polish was banned.
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Polish schools where German schools now and you have to order your por I mean gut tashen in German now. Students who speak Polish are expelled. Parents who slip up some Polish lose their job and get imprisoned. And if you wear a
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priest, well, you'll have it explicitly tough. The Germans knew Polish hold strong to their religion. So to ruin that Polish pride, they straight up just arrested priests. And the next time you speak a prayer to yourself, do it in
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German. The great Bismar came with an even better plan. Seize lands from the Polish and pay Germans to live there.
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And now we have the worst, Russia. After the failed uprisings of 1830 and 1863, the Tars didn't just want to punish Poland, they wanted to beat it out of existence brick by brick, soul by soul.
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They shut down every Polish school, banned the Polish language from public life. Even kindergartens were rushified.
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Five-year-olds beaten for saying mama instead of mama. Professors who refused to teach in Russian were fired, jailed, or exiled to Siberia, where they could freeze alongside the books they used to assign. And the church, good luck.
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Catholicism was seen as the wrong Christianity. Priests were arrested, forced to convert to Orthodoxy, or sent to die in labor camps. Like the Germans, the Russians renamed cities, renamed people, renamed rivers. V villages were relocated and repopulated with ethnic
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Russians, not with the almighty pen, but with the bloodied sword. But through all of this, the Polish endured. Even after a total of 123 years of disappearance and suppression, the grandkids still spoke Polish, knew their history, and ate bio. that came in handy because
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after winning the first world war the inant powers came up with a great idea to punish the central powers at buffer countries in between them so they can't team up easily and cause a well it sounds stupid but a second world war so
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Poland was reborn now to be fair the British and French were probably stupid drunk on making the borders because the newly reformed Poland was literally asking to get dunked on again but they survived for 20 years this time. Yeah,
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it is sad. It is now 1939. Poland is rebuilding. It's modernizing. It's surrounded by two megalomaniacal empires with a crush on its territory. On the left, Nazi Germany. On the right, the Soviet Union and Poland right in the
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middle like a historical chew toy. So Hitler walks into dens like this is mine. Poland says no. French and Britain say we got your back. But spoiler, they didn't. And after a rowdy September, Poland is gone again. Seventh time, by
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the way. But this time, the brutality reaches biblical levels. Gone was the pen approach. In came the gas instead.
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And the Soviets came with the just to be safe, let's put everyone on the train to superior approach. Goodbye 1 million Polish people. Hope you enjoyed your 20 years of having your country back. By 1945, Nazi Germany is gone. Poland is
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liberated. But guess who's now in charge? Stalin. The Soviets liberate Poland by doing what they do best, replacing one tyranny with another.
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Poland gets a puppet government, Soviet troops, and Soviet censorship. And as the cherry on top, a brand new flag with the same old depression. This is the eighth time and final time for now that Poland disappears. Ask your parents, not
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even your grandparents. They could literally tell you how life was under extreme communism. Poland was a satellite state for the Soviets till it collapsed in 1991. And now in 2025, Poland has been free and strong for 34 years. I don't know about you, but I'm
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starting to get anxious about their existence. The law of repetition says Poland will be gone in a couple of years. So quickly visit it while we still can and make sure to eat some perogi. A food that will stick around as
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long as the Polish will. and they will stick around. No matter what happens to the Polish people, even if they literally can't speak their language or they get shot, they survived, or rather outlasted. Just think about it for a
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moment. Poland outlived the Mongols who burned it. The Tutonic Knights who Christianized it by force, the Swedish Empire who drowned it, Prussia who partitioned it, the Austrians who ignored it, the Russian Empire who erased it, the Soviet Union who
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smothered it, and the third Reich who tried to annihilate it. They all fell apart. But Poland, it's still here.
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Checkmate to Varis.
Topics:Poland historyPoland partitionsmedieval PolandHoly Roman EmpireTeutonic KnightsPolish monarchyEastern Europe historyChristianization of PolandPolish sovereigntyhistorical invasions
