Sh*t Testing: The 90-Day Crossroads — Transcript

One of the pleasures of mine is that I get to produce material for a wide variety of men who find redeeming value in red pill philosophy. I get encouragement, support, and appreciation from men who identify as MGTOW, monks, from married men and more traditional relationships, and from a lot of camps in between. Men who casually date, men who are open to long-term relationships provided no legal ties are involved, and others. And it heartens me to know that red pill philosophy is so powerful that it is a benefit to all of these men and even a few women. With that in mind, I want to talk to men today who choose to explore the possibilities beyond the realm of isolation from women or the relative safety of pump-and-dump. In particular, this talk is aimed at men who are in the first 90 days of a regular thing with a woman. And of course, I say that with the understanding that the first 90 days of a regular thing with a woman is also the precise time that men are least prone to listen to anyone. And hey, I'm not knocking it. The mindless indulgence and infatuation is one of the most pleasurable times in a man's life. It is days marked by little to no conflict, sex that rattles the rafters, and a general state of satiation and well-being. Of course, it will all come tumbling down even in the best of relationships because no amount of fuel on earth can keep infatuation going indefinitely. At some point, it will come to an end, and by my observation, that usually happens around the 90-day mark. In the end, almost always, it will be signaled by words that fall directly out of her mouth in a shit test that will change the course of the relationship no matter how you respond to it. That's important enough to say again: at around ninety days, you'll be issued a test that will change the course of the relationship no matter how you react to it. It will never be the same after that 90-day fork in the road. Let's back up for a moment for the bird's-eye view before proceeding with the details. Anyone familiar with red pill philosophy will be familiar with the concept of the shit test. It's just a descriptor for how women toss one kind of obstacle or another in the path of men who are pursuing them and then measure how the man responds, weighing the results into her decision on whether to continue involvement with him or what form that involvement will take. It is her attempt to find his limits early on, to assess what he will tolerate and how he'll react, especially to her less rational, more unstable side. In this regard, tests are often provocative, designed to force the subject into an emotional state. The shit test can be as simple as her saying something playful like, "Men only want one thing," testing your reaction to being put on the defensive. For the sake of clarity, this is not the kind of test I'm talking about in this talk. It's nothing like the 90-day fork in the road. First, if you're already in the infatuation stage, you passed these minor introductory tests and you continue to pass them in between rounds of bed-breaking sex and other fun times together. Those shit tests aren't very serious. They are quite minor in comparison to what's coming. Mind you, for the nitpickers out there, 90 days is just an estimated average. It's not intended to sound scientific or accurately predictive, and it's good to know that because the fork in the road moment with women can come at any time. It's your job to be prepared for it. The progression of events leading up to your critical moment will be similar for most men. You'll meet a woman, hit it off, fly through her early shit tests, rock each other's world in the sack, get along fabulously, and then one day, quite suddenly, things will change. You'll pick her up, meet her somewhere, or have her show up at your door, and instead of the bubbly, smiling, carefree new companion you've become accustomed to, you will find a different person standing there. She'll be sullen to a greater or lesser degree, quiet, uncommunicative, and perhaps a little dark. When you take the bait and ask what's wrong, she will at first give the classic "life or a" response: "Nothing," she'll say with a completely straight face. The point here is that she wants you to be the one to force this conversation. She'll pretend to be hesitant to tell you the reason. She is indisputably broadcasting her displeasure with you. She'll pretend not to know that she's throwing a wrench into your frame of mind in order to provoke your inquiry and your attempt to find a solution. And so, if you are like most men, you will jump up on your stallion, hands prepared to grab your sword and shield, and insist she tells you what is wrong. You'll project to the woman that you're invested enough in her to hear the problem from atop your white stallion. Some men are so invested they demand to know what the problem is and what they can do to fix it. Rookie moves aside, this moment in time has happened millions and millions of times over the centuries. It is a standard component of every relationship based on romantic love, the kind of crazy, psychotic, chivalrous version of love that comes from infatuation. It is so common and so predictable, as a matter of fact, that I can tell you in general terms what the problem will be before she ever shows up at your door wearing her sad clown face. The problem will be, in one form or another, that you did something which caused her to feel unimportant or unloved. It'll be that you left a little too early the last time you were together or that you arrived a little too late. It will be because she saw you briefly admire another woman or because you smiled a little when telling her about your last girlfriend. It'll be because you had to say no to doing something with her because of your work or because you said yes to doing something with one of your friends. It'll be because of something you said about which she didn't like the tone or because of something you didn't say but that, in her opinion, you should have. It'll be because you wanted to hold her hand in public or because you didn't want to. The point here is that at the 90-day fork in the road, she is going to present you with something, some measure of her insecurity, her desire for control, or both. You'll know it because you didn't really see it coming and because for the first time in your time with her, there will be a dark pall over the connection between you. And you will know it because you will feel the impulse to get it resolved and get back to the relationship you were enjoying so much just moments before. You will not be aware that that relationship, that carefree infatuation with unbridled promise for the future, just died in front of your eyes. Because, gents, this is not an infatuation-level shit test. It is something entirely different, and this is where I want you to really listen to what I'm saying. In fact, if you have never listened carefully to anything I've ever said, the time to do so is now because how you react to her at this critical juncture in the road is going to determine how your relationship with her will go from that point forward. Not only that, it can and will decide how the rest of your life might end up. This moment, gents, is about her control of the relationship, which is to say her control of you. And many, it doesn't matter one whit whether she is conscious of all this or not. So I advise you not to distract yourself with pointless inquiries about whether she knows what she's doing. Some women are conscious of this moment, others aren't. It doesn't make a damn bit of difference to where you will end up if you screw up now. And by screw up, I mean take the bait and apologize or otherwise try to appease her so that you can restore the former relationship again. I want you to listen to me: the former relationship is gone. It's over. It is never coming back, no matter what you do. And thinking you can change that is like trying to rope a unicorn. Forget about it. The only value that the former relationship has now is to her as an illusion to give you something to chase after by allowing her to control...

married men and more traditional relationships and from a lot of camps in between men who casually date men who are open to long-term relationships provided no legal ties are involved in others and it hardens me to know that

red pill philosophy is so powerful that it is a benefit to all of these men and even a few women with that in mind I want to talk to men today who choose to explore the possibilities beyond the

realm of isolation from women or the relative safety of pump-and-dump in particular this talk is aimed at men who are in the first 90 days of a regular thing with a woman and of course I say that with the understanding that the

first 90 days of a regular thing with a woman is also the precise time that men are least prone to listen to anyone and hey I'm not knocking it the mindless indulgence and infatuation is one of the most pleasurable times in a man's life

it is days marked by little to no conflict sex that rattles the rafters and a general state of satiation and well-being of course it will all come tumbling down even in the best of relationships because no amount of fuel

on earth can keep infatuation going indefinitely at some point it will come to an end and by my observation that usually happens around the 90-day mark in the end almost always will be signaled by words that fall directly out

of her mouth in a ship test that will change the course of the relationship no matter how you respond to it that's important enough to say again at around ninety days you'll be issued a test that will change the course of the

relationship no matter how you react to it it will never be the same after that 90 day fork in the road let's back up for a moment for the bird's-eye view before proceeding with the details anyone familiar with red pill philosophy

will be familiar with the concept of the ship test it's just a descriptor for how women toss one kind of obstacle or another in the path of men who are pursuing them and then measure how the man responds weighing the results into

her decision on whether to continue involvement with him or what form that involvement will take it is her attempt to find his limits early on to assess what he will tolerate and how he'll react especially to her less rational more

unstable side in this regard tests are often provocative designed to force the subject into an emotional state the ship test can be as simple as her saying something playful like men only want one thing testing your reaction to being put on

the defensive for the sake of clarity this is not the kind of test I'm talking about in this talk it's nothing like the 90 day fork in the road first if you're already in the infatuation stage you passed these minor

introductory tests and you continue to pass them in between rounds of bed breaking sex and other fun times together those ship tests aren't very serious they are quite minor in comparison to what's coming mind you for the nitpickers out there 90 days is just

an estimated average it's not intended to sound scientific or accurately predictive and it's good to know that because the fork in the road moment with women can come at any time it's your job to be prepared for it the progression of

events leading up to your critical moment will be similar for most men you'll meet a woman hit it off fly through her early ship tests Rock each other's world in the sack get along fabulously and then one day quite

suddenly things will change you'll pick her up meet her somewhere or have her show up at your door and instead of the bubbly smiling carefree new companion you've become accustomed to you will find a different person standing there

she'll be sullen to a greater or lesser degree quiet in communicative and perhaps a little dark when you take the bait and ask what's wrong she will at first give the classic life or a response nothing she'll say with a completely

straight face the point here is that she wants you to be the one to force this conversation she'll pretend to be hesitant to tell you the reason she is indisputably broadcasting her displeasure with you she'll pretend not to know that she's

throwing a wrench into your frame of mind in order to provoke your inquiry and your attempt to find a solution and so if you are like most men you will jump up on your stallion hands prepared to grab your sword and shield and insist

she tells you what is wrong you'll project to the woman that you're invested enough and her to hear the problem from atop your white stallion some men are so invested they demand to know what the problem is and what they

can do to fix it rookie moves aside this moment in time has happened millions and millions of times over the centuries it is a standard component of every relationship based on romantic love the kind of crazy psychotic chivalrous

version of love that comes from infatuation it is so common and so predictable as a matter of fact that I can tell you in general terms what the problem will be before she ever shows up at your door wearing her sad clown face

the problem will be in one form or another that you did something which caused her to feel unimportant or unloved it'll be that you left a little too early the last time you were together or that you arrived a little too late it

will be because she saw you briefly admire another woman or because you smiled a little when telling her about your last girlfriend it'll be because you had to say no to doing something with her because of your work or because

you said yes to doing something with one of your friends it'll be because of something you said about which she didn't like the tone or because of something you didn't say but that in her opinion you should have it'll be because

you wanted to hold her hand in public or because you didn't want to the point here is that at the 90-day fork in the road she is going to present you with something some measure of her insecurity her desire for control

or both you'll know it because you didn't really see it coming and because for the first time in your time with her there will be a dark pall over the connection between you and you will know it because you will feel the impulse to

get it resolved and get back to the relationship you were enjoying so much just moments before you will not be aware that that relationship that carefree infatuation with unbridled promise for the future just died in front of your eyes

because gents this is not an infatuation level ship test it is something entirely different and this is where I want you to really listen to what I'm saying in fact if you have never listened carefully to anything I've ever said the

time to do so is now because how you react to her at this critical juncture in the road is going to determine how your relationship with her will go from that point forward not only that it can and will decide how the rest of your

life might end up this moment gents is about her control of the relationship which is to say her control of you and Manyu it doesn't matter one whip whether she is conscious of all this or not so I

advise you not to distract yourself with pointless inquiries about whether she knows what she's doing some women are conscious of this moment others aren't it doesn't make a damn bit of difference to where you will end up if you screw up now and by school up I

mean take the bait and apologize or otherwise try to appease her so that you can restore the former relationship again I want you to listen to me the former relationship is gone it's over it is never coming back no matter what you

do and thinking you can change that is like trying to rope a unicorn forget about it the only value that the former relationship has now is to her as an illusion to give you something to chase after by allowing her to control you

she's dangling a carrot and nothing more if you fall for it from that point forward you will find yourself jumping through hoops in pathetic attempts to restore the old now-dead order take a look around you at the majority of men

and long-term relationships and ask yourself if I'm wrong men becoming women's accessories and relationships is the standard at the times what I'm telling you here is that there is a pivotal moment in every relationship that triggers that end game there is a

crossroads at which you can at the earliest and easiest point in the relationship choose not to go there and the advice I have on this of course is pretty damn straightforward whatever her problem with the way you looked at away

dress or the tone in your voice last Tuesday afternoon or that something slipped your mind when she thought you should remember it tell her that she's being childish and that you have no intention of defending yourself over trivial first one to talk after

you've said that loses I know that some of you are already like yeah sure Paul and she'll be out the door for good and of course you are more likely than not right but remember what I said the

relationship you had with her was already over before you ever said a word she's not in infatuation mode anymore even if you are get that through your skull she's in control mode and you've only got two choices you either get out

of it either by eighty-sixing her directly or running her out with your boundaries or you settle in for the longer war I find Merritt for men in both scenarios a good deal of men in this audience already know exactly where

they are in this scenario sia right anyone who blames those guys or shames them is an asshat don't pay attention to them there are also men though who won't take an ounce of who decide consciously and rationally that relationships with women have perks

to offer men despite the unavoidable pitfalls that with enough time with the right woman and being the right kind of man that they can carve out something that they value and that they want of course having done that myself

I don't argue with those guys either and both of these groups by the way or the minority as you know most men when confronted by the 90-day power grab react to the ploy by trying to kiss it and make it better operating at a fear

of loss and rejection they capitulate which is where they end up spending the rest of their relationship and sometimes the rest of their lives this is one red pill principle that transcends McTell and MRA and any other petty lines we want to use

to divide ourselves all principled men who live by their values have one thing in common they very rarely end up on their knees and that is it for today's talk as always I hope you've enjoyed even if you haven't and we'll see you

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