Narcissistic Wife. 10 Ways a Narcissistic Wife Treats H… — Transcript

Hello everybody, and welcome back to my channel. As you know, I'm Coach Lilia. I'm a relationship coach and a narcissistic abuse survivor myself, and I know I haven't posted on here in a while. I really want to take the focus on narcissistic women, okay, because these are mothers that raise children that are severely traumatized. There are so many men that are being domestically abused that we don't talk about enough because men don't talk about it.

narcissistic women okay because these are mothers that raise children that are severely traumatized there are so many men that are being domestically abused that are we don't talk about it enough because men don't talk about it and you

You know, we typically think of a narcissist as somebody who is a male, grandiose person, right, with zero empathy, of course, but we need to talk more about how narcissism is manifested in women. Today, I want to talk to you about how does a narcissistic wife treat her husband in a marriage or a domestic relationship, right, as long as it's like a long-term relationship where they're living together for a number of years. So let's go ahead and dive into it.

narcissistic wife treat her husband in a marriage or a domestic relationship right as long as it's like a long-term relationship where they're living together for a number of years so let's let's go ahead and dive into it number

Number one, you as the male will always feel like the problem. I have clients that ask me all the time, "Am I the problem? Am I a narcissist? Is it my fault?" No, it's not your fault, okay? This is exactly how an abuser wants you to feel in that relationship. They will basically blame you for everything. They will always be unsatisfied. You will always feel like you're disappointing them all the time, and you're going to think it's your fault, and you're going to try harder, and she's going to basically embarrass you more. She's going to take away your manhood. She's always going to explain things to you like you're a little child, you know, like if you're drying the dishes, "Why did you put them here?" Or if you buy something that's a brand that she doesn't like, "Why did you buy this brand? You know, I don't like this." Like, it's always going to be that nagging. Nothing's ever good enough. There's never going to be that "Good job, thank you so much." No, you're never going to hear that. Everything you do is going to be incorrect, and you will believe it, and you will truly feel like you're the problem in the relationship. So please, if you're the man that's suffering from this kind of abuse, I want to tell you right now, it's not your fault. She's making you feel like this on purpose.

abuser wants you to feel in that relationship they will basically blame you for everything they will always be unsatisfied you will always feel like you're disappointing them all the time and you're gonna think it's your fault and you're gonna try harder and she's

Number two is that this woman is always going to be against you. She's always going to take the side against you. She's never going to be your true partner, okay? She's going to do this to embarrass you. She's going to do this to basically, once again, take away your manhood, like she's never treating you as a partner, as an equal. She's always against you because she doesn't trust you, because she doesn't know how to trust. Because remember, narcissistic people in general, they never feel safe in their relationship ever because they never had that attachment that was secure in their childhood. Therefore, she's not going to have that with you, so she's always going to be skeptical of everything and basically never support you in anything. Because why? She has to be against you because clearly she can't trust you. That's all built up in her head.

that's a brand that she doesn't like why did you buy this brand you know I don't like this like it's always going to be that nagging nothing's ever good enough there's never going to be that good job thank you so much no you're never gonna

The third one is very common: this woman, especially if she was using sexuality to manipulate you in the beginning, right, now she's going to take away that affection fully, and she's going to make you feel guilty for wanting to be intimate with her. And why is she doing this? Well, first of all, so that you feel like something's wrong with you for wanting to be physical with your wife, which is, you know, it's crazy to think about because you will truly believe that you're the problem, like there's something wrong with you. And then that's also going to lead you to complete isolation and loneliness because every time you try, she's going to say things like, "Not again," "Not right now." It's going to come off in a way where you once again will feel like it's your problem and you shouldn't be trying to be intimate with your wife because she doesn't want you.

right now it's not your fault she's making you feel like this on purpose number two is that this woman is always going to be against you she's always going to take the side against you she's never going to be your true partner okay

And then this woman is going to prevent you from having any friends, especially if these are female friends, but any friends in general. Why? Because she doesn't want you to have a support system. You having friends is a threat to her that you might leave, that somebody might open your eyes and show you that you are in this control freak situation, okay? So basically, there's going to be a problem with any person that you want to hang out with, right? Any friendship that you try to make, she's going to find something, whether they're a loser, whether she doesn't like their behavior, whatever it may be, there's going to be a problem with that person.

doesn't know how to trust because remember narcissistic people in general they never feel safe in their relationship ever because they never had that attachment that was Secure in their childhood therefore she's not going to have that with you so she's always going

Another thing she might do is that she's going to pick somebody from your life that she knows you'll never have a friendship with and say, "Why don't you go hang out with Joe? I like Joe." And she knows that you're never going to hang out with Joe, but she's basically trying to manipulate the situation saying that, "I'm not preventing you from having friends. I just don't want you to have bad friends because I look out for you and I care that much." And then if you ever have a problem with any of her friends, then guess what? You're being controlling. And that's the kind of double standard that this woman is constantly going to run against her husband.

woman especially if she was using sexuality to manipulate you in the beginning right now she's going to take away that affection fully and she's going to make you feel guilty for wanting to be intimate with her and why

Number five, okay, she lives in that fantasy land where you're not good enough for her and she could have done better, but for some reason she didn't, right? So you're always going to hear from her things like, "I should have married you know this guy," or, "I never should have married you," "I just should have listened to my family," "Why did I settle for you? You're such a loser." You're going to hear this repeatedly, and it's going to chip away at you so much because, again, this woman is going to live in this fantasy land, and she's going to basically tell you that you're not good enough for her. And this actually might motivate you to try harder to basically maybe go after that position that she wants you to go after, you know, make more money because she wants more money all the time. Nothing's ever good enough. Nothing's ever enough in general. And at that time, she might stop with these remarks when you're working so hard to basically please her, to basically live up to her expectation. However, once that stops, that chipping away is going to start again.

there's something wrong with you and then that's also going to lead you to complete isolation and loneliness because every time you try she's gonna say things like not again not right now it's going to come off in a way where

Number six, this woman truly blames you for everything that happened in her life, like all of her past dramas are now your fault. So she literally blames you for these things in her head, and she thinks that she needs to get back at you for them. So you're going to turn into her emotional punching bag, and you're not even going to know why because it's not about what you did. It's maybe about somebody that abused her in the past, like her parents or maybe an ex-boyfriend or whoever it may be. So she will try to get back at you very directly. She might do something like run up credit card debt with your financials, and then if you find out about it and confront her about it, she's going to say, "Well, at least now we're even because you did so and so and so." Because, again, these people are very delusional. They build up these narratives in their head, and if you try to convince her otherwise, you're only going to receive gaslighting, manipulation, passive aggressiveness, and so on and so on.

friends but any friends in general why because she doesn't want you to have a support system you having friends is a threat to her that you might leave that somebody might open your eyes and show you that you are in this control freak

So there you have it. The next one here is that there's always going to be this queen-servant dynamic, okay? Not queen and king dynamic. No, it's more that she's the queen and you're working for her. So you're going to find yourself reporting to this woman in everything. She's staying at home, you're bringing home the paycheck, you're giving the paycheck to her. If you have any spending at all, you report that to her. "Why did you buy this? Why did you buy this? Why did you buy this?" You're going to hear this from her all the time because you are not in charge of making your decisions. You're working for her. Remember that it's a servant and queen dynamic. So, man, if you feel like you have to report about your finances, about things that you spend to your wife, I'm not talking about making decisions together, sharing what you want to buy. No, I'm talking about when you have the...

behavior whatever it may be there's going to be a problem with that person another thing she might do is that she's gonna pick somebody from your life that she knows you'll never have a friendship with and say why don't you go hang out

with Joe I like Joe and she knows that you're never gonna hang out with Joe but she's basically trying to manipulate the situation saying that I'm not preventing you from having friends I just don't want you to have bad friends because I

look out for you and I care that much and then if you ever have a problem with any of her friends then guess what you're being controlling and that's the kind of double standard that this woman is constantly going to run against her

husband number five okay she lives in that fantasy land where you're not good enough for her and she could have done better but for some reason she didn't right so you're always going to hear from her things like I should have

married you know this guy or I never should have married you I just should have listened to my family why did I settle for you you're such a loser you're gonna hear this repeatedly and it's gonna chip away from you so much

because again this woman is going to live in this fantasy land and she's going to basically tell you that you're not good enough for her and this actually might motivate you to try harder to basically maybe go after that

position that she wants you to go after you know make more money because she wants more money all the time nothing's ever good enough nothing's ever enough in general and at that time she might stop with these remarks when you're

working so hard to basically please her to basically live up to her expectation however once that stop that chipping away is gonna start again number six this woman truly blames you for everything that happened in her life like all of her past dramas are now your

fault so she literally blames you for these things in her head and she thinks that she needs to get back at you for them so you're going to turn into her emotional punching back and you're not even gonna know why because it's not

about what you did it's maybe about somebody that abused her in the past like her parents or maybe an ex-boyfriend or whoever it may be so she will try to get back at you very directly she might do something like run

a credit card debt with your financials and then if you find out about it and confront her about it she's gonna say well at least now we're even because you did so and so and so because again these

people are very delusional they build up these narratives in their head and if you try to convince her otherwise you're only gonna receive gaslighting manipulation passive aggressiveness and so on and so on so there you have it the next one here is that there's always

going to be this queen servant Dynamic okay not queen and king Dynamic no it's more that she's the queen and you're working for her so you're gonna find yourself reporting to this woman and everything she's staying at home you're

bringing home the paycheck you're giving the paycheck to her if you have any spending at all you report that to her why did you buy this why did you buy this why did you buy this you're going to hear this from her all the time

because you are not in charge of making your decisions you're working for her remember that it's a servant and queen Dynamic so man if you feel like you have to report about your finances about things that you spend to your wife I'm

not talking about making decisions together sharing what you want to buy no I'm talking about when you have the necessity to report to her and she lashes out on you and criticizes you on things that you want to make decisions

on on your own that's a problem okay that's control because you're not working for her you're a grown man so get that out of your head that it's normal for you to report to her number eight okay this woman is going to be a

blame shifting expert how so well whatever she does wrong whatever problem she makes it's still going to be your fault and you're truly gonna believe it just boom she's gonna shift that blame on to you and once again you're gonna be

so traumatized by the time she starts doing this that you will just take that blame and yeah you're gonna say yep I'm the problem everything's my fault and this is what most of my clients are experiencing once again it's not your

fault your problems are not your problems okay you're not responsible for her problems you need to get that in your head number nine just like any narcissist she's going to be emotionally absent right so it's gonna be like

talking to a person with no soul like just a black mirror and when you try to communicate to her something when she hurts you there's gonna be zero remorse and when you try to have a conversation with her about the emotional level right

she's gonna say something like what do you want for me me we're talking how much more do you want from me why is she doing this because remember narcissists they have nothing to give there is nothing inside she's empty because back

in the day she was made to suppress all of those emotions okay having emotions meant shame and shame is bad so she was shamed for feeling for having emotions for showing emotions so you can't expect that out of a woman that doesn't have it

in her and last but not least you're gonna hear a lot of threats about her divorcing you leaving you blah blah blah blah blah okay that's gonna become something very normal in your relationship you're gonna get used to it

it's still gonna chip away from you but you're used to hearing about those threats for of her leaving you okay now I hope this information is helpful for you guys I really want you to understand what's going on in your relationship I

want you to stop blaming yourself please get help because these are very toxic Dynamics it's trauma bond that is so hard to break on your own I do offer one-on-one coaching you can schedule with me link is in my bio and of course

if you like this content please like the video and subscribe to my channel I'm coach Lilia and I will see you guys in my next video