social life, success, and sleep — Transcript

Hello. When I was in high school, I was scrolling through Instagram and I stumbled upon a graphic. The graphic looked a little something like this. Okay, there was a triangle, and at the end of each tip of the triangle, there was a priority. So, on one tip of the triangle, there was sleep. On the other tip of the triangle, there was success in work or school. And then, on the last tip of the triangle, there was social life. On the bottom of the screen, it said, "Choose two." Basically, the concept of this was you can't prioritize everything in your life that you want to prioritize. You might want to have good quality sleep, good quality social life, and a successful work life or a successful school life, but the truth is, we're not capable of that as humans. You have to choose two in your life. You can't have all three. You can't succeed in every area of your life that you want to succeed at. That was kind of the concept of this graphic. Now, for me, as a high school student, this absolutely blew my mind. This was philosophy at its finest. This was everything I was looking for at the time—a basic explanation for why I was struggling so much. And it did explain that to me because, at the time, I was prioritizing social life and success, and I wanted to be prioritizing sleep, but it just seemed like I couldn't get that part under control. So, for years of my life, I sort of lived with this Instagram graphic in the back of my head. I constantly reminded myself, "Something's got to give. I can't prioritize everything I want to prioritize 100%." But recently, I had an epiphany, and I was like, "You know, is this true? Is this accurate?" So, today, I want to explore this concept, and I want to talk about what parts I think are true, what parts I think are false, and how we can use this Instagram graphic to come to a useful conclusion that's maybe a little bit more developed than the simple Instagram graphic, because I think that there's a lot of value there, but I think it could use a little bit more nuance. I think that there's more there. So, we're going to be talking about this today. Who would have thought that a weird Instagram graphic from 2016 would follow me into 2023? The first thing I want to discuss is the truth in this model. I think the truth is that, at a given moment, you can never give your 100% to everything that you want to give your 100% to. Something is always going to get 50% effort. In your life, if you're in a season of your life where you're really focused on getting enough rest but also getting all your school and work done, there's a good chance that you're not going to be hanging out with your friends very often. Your friends are going to be receiving 50% of your effort. If there's a period of your life when you're just trying to enjoy life and so you're hanging out with your friends a lot but you're also getting proper sleep, your school or work life is probably going to suffer a little bit, or it's just going to receive 50%. I think it's impossible to expect yourself to give 100% in every category of your life at all times. It's completely unrealistic. If you expect that from yourself, you're not going to be feeling so good because you're destined to fail. You're destined to not complete your promise to yourself if your promise is, "I'm going to give 100% to every category of my life at all times moving forward." You will fail at that most likely, and you will feel bad as a result. So, I think the nice thing about this model is that it sort of shows you that you can only choose two at a given moment, and that third thing is going to suffer. But that's okay, and that's human. I think that's a good thing to remember. It's inspiration to give yourself some grace when you find that certain areas of your life aren't getting proper attention. It's like, no, that's not a failure. That's being a human. But now, I want to talk about why this diagram is flawed. I think the first issue is this model kind of makes it feel like you have to choose your priorities and leave some things behind when choosing those priorities, and that that has to be your life's mission. Not to read too deeply into this, but that was sort of the way I interpreted this model when I saw it. I was like, "Oh, this feels like a huge commitment. Wow, I have to choose two of these things to prioritize for the rest of my life," instead of looking at it like, at any given moment, I can only choose two, but if I decide to change my mind down the line, I can do that. If I want to prioritize school and social life for the month of February, great. But then, if March rolls around and I want to prioritize social life and school and let my sleep suffer a little bit, then I can do that. I feel like this model made me think very one-directional, and so that was the way I misinterpreted it, I think, at the time, because I was like, in order for this model to make sense, I have to stick to it forever. I don't think that's true. I think this model is a positive thing and an accurate thing if you look at it in the sense of, well, yes, I can only choose two priorities at a time out of three, but I can also shift that on a monthly basis, on a weekly basis, even on a daily basis if I want to. I think this model kind of makes you feel like you can't constantly be shifting your priorities in a way that eventually allows you to actually find success and balance in all of these categories. It makes you feel like one thing will always have to suffer forever, and I'm not so sure that's true. Another issue I have with this model is that I think it neglects two more crucial categories and priorities that we have in our lives. I think it neglects quiet alone time, slash boredom time, time to be bored, time to be alone, time to be quiet, which is crucial, I would argue. I mean, I guess that could be grouped into sleep, but I don't really think so because sleep is like not awake, and it's really important, in my opinion, to be awake and alone and quiet and introspective. I think that's so important, and I think that that should be a priority, and that was neglected from this model. But another thing that was excluded from this model diagram was time to be creative, time to participate in hobbies, time to do extracurricular activities. I think those two things are incredibly important and should be included in this diagram. So, in my mind, I think that this diagram needs to be updated to, instead of being a triangle that says sleep, work/school, and social life, I think it should be a pentagon that has sleep, work/school, social life, alone time/recharge time/boredom time, time to be bored, and time for hobbies, creativity, and extracurricular activities. Then, instead of saying "choose two," it should say "choose as many as you can at any given moment," and it's okay if it's only one, and it's okay if it's only two. If you can get up to three, you're a superhero. If you can get up to four, you're really a superhero. If you can get up to five, you are annoying, and everybody's jealous of you, and you're defying all laws of humanity, basically. So, now that we have this updated diagram that I believe is more accurate, let's talk about why this is a useful diagram. I think it's useful because, in order to be intentional about your time, you have to decide what your priorities are on a given day. I think a lot of us do this subconsciously. You know, we wake up and we're like, "Okay, what's my priority for today?" We look at our calendar, we're like, "All right," and it all happens subconsciously. But I think there's something to be said for being mindful about our priorities and what we want to use our time for. There's nothing wrong with falling into autopilot and letting those choices be subconscious, but I think it's actually a superpower in a lot of ways to be mindful about our priorities and to be sort of strategic about what we prioritize and when we prioritize it because I think it makes us a lot more efficient. It makes life a lot smoother because you're correlating your priorities with you.

priority so on one tip of the triangle there was sleep on the other tip of the triangle there was success in work or school and then on the last tip of the triangle there was social life and on

the bottom of the screen it said choose to and basically the concept of this was you can't prioritize everything in your life that you want to prioritize you might want to have good quality sleep good quality social life and a successful work life

or a successful school life but the truth is we're not capable of that as humans and you have to choose two in your life you can't have all three you can't succeed in every area of your life that you want to succeed at that was

kind of the concept of this graphic now for me as a high school student this absolutely blew my mind this was philosophy at its finest this was everything I was looking for at the time a basic explanation for why I was

struggling so much and it did explain that to me because at the time I was prioritizing social life and success and I wanted to be prioritizing sleep but it just seemed like I couldn't get that part under control and so for

years of my life I sort of lived with this Instagram graphic in the back of my head I constantly reminded myself something's got to give I can't prioritize everything I want to prioritize 100% but recently I had an epiphany and I was

like you know is this true is this accurate and so today I want to explore this concept and I want to talk about what parts I think are true what parts I think are false and how we can use this Instagram graphic to

come to a useful conclusion that's maybe a little bit more developed than the simple Instagram graphics because I think that there's a lot of value there but I think it could use a little bit more Nuance I think that

there's more there so we're going to be talking about this today who would have thought that a weird Instagram graphic from 2016 would follow me into 2023 the first thing I want to discuss is the truth in this model I think the

truth is that at a given moment you can never give your 100% to everything that you want to give your 100% to something is always going to get 50% effort in your life if you're in a season of your life where you're

really focused on getting enough rest but also getting all your school and work done there's a good chance that you're not going to be hanging out with your friends very often you know your friends are going to be receiving 50% of your

effort if there's a period of your life when you know you're just trying to enjoy life and so you're hanging out with your friends a lot but you're also getting proper sleep your school slw life is probably going to suffer a

little bit or it's just going to receive 50% I think it's impossible to expect yourself to give 100% in every category of your life at all times it's completely unrealistic and if you expect that from yourself you're not going to

be feeling so good because you're destined to fail you're destined to not complete your promise to yourself if your promise is I'm going to give 100% to every category of my life at all times moving forward you will fail at

that most likely and you will feel bad as a result so I think the nice thing about this model you know is that it sort of shows you that you can only choose two at a given moment and that

third thing is going to suffer but that's okay and that's human and I think that that's a good thing to to remember it's inspiration to give yourself some Grace when you find that certain areas of your life aren't getting proper

attention it's like no that's not a failure that's being a human but now I want to talk about why this diagram is flawed I think the first issue is this model kind of makes it feel like you have to choose your

priorities and leave some things behind when choosing those priorities and that that has to be your life's Mission not to read too deeply into this but that was sort of the way I interpreted this model when I saw it I

was like oh this feels like a huge commitment like wow I have to choose two of these things to prioritize for the rest of my life instead of looking at it like at any given moment I can only

choose two but if I decide to change my mind down the line I can do that if I want to prioritize school and social life for the month of February great but then if March rolls around and I want to prioritize social

life in school and let my sleep suffer a little bit then I can do that I feel like this model made me think very One Direction and so that was the way I misinterpreted it I think at the time

because I was like in order for this model to make sense I have to stick to it for forever I don't think that that's true I think that this model is a positive thing and an accurate thing if

you look at it in the sense of well yes I can only choose two priorities at a time out of three but I can also shift that on a monthly basis on a weekly basis even on a daily basis if I want to

I think this model kind of makes you feel like you can't constantly be shifting your priorities in a way that eventually allows you to actually find success and balance in all of these categories it makes you feel like one

thing will always have to suffer forever and I'm not so sure that that's true another issue I have with this model is that I think it neglects two more crucial categories and priorities that we have in our lives I think it neglects

quiet alone time slash boredom time time time to be bored time to be alone time to be quiet which is crucial I would argue I mean I guess that could be grouped into sleep but I don't really think so because sleep is like not awake

and it's really important in my opinion to be awake and alone and quiet and introspective I think that's so important and I think that that should be a priority and that was neglected from this model but another thing that

was excluded from this model diagram was time to be creative time to participate in Hobbies time to do extracurricular activities I think those two things are incredibly important and should be included in this diagram so in my mind I think that this diagram needs

to be updated to instead of being a triangle that says sleep work/school and social life I think it should be a pentagon that has sleep work/school social life alone time/ recharge time/ boredom time time to be bored and time for hobbies creativity

and extracurricular activities and then instead of saying choose two it should say choose as many as you can at any given moment and it's okay if it's only one and it's okay if it's only two and if you can get up to three you're a

superhero and if you can get up to four you're really a superhero and if you can get up to five you are annoying and everybody's jealous of you and you're you're defying all laws of humanity basically so now that we

have this updated diagram that I believe is more accurate let's talk about why this is a useful diagram I think it's useful because in order to be intentional about your time you have to decide what your priorities are on a given day and I

think a lot of us do this subconsciously you know we wake up and we're like okay what's my priority for today we look at our calendar we're like all right and it all happens subconsciously but I think there's

something to be said for being mindful about our priorities and what we want to use our time for there's nothing wrong with falling into autopilot and letting those choices be subconscious but I think it's actually a superpower in a lot of ways to be

mindful about our priorities and to be sort of strategic about what we prioritize and when we prioritize it because I think it makes us a lot more efficient it makes life a lot smoother because you're correlating your priorities with your current Al state in

your current amount of energy Etc in order to have the most flow in life as possible you know because if you're just listening to your subconscious priorities you might find that you hit a road block you hit burnout you hit

frustration because your priorities in your current state are not matching up because you're not taking the time to be mindful and make sure that everything's clicking together at once like for example let's say I wake up one day and

I'm just exhausted but on my calendar I have a lot of work to do I have a dinner with my friends I have an exercise class and I have okay yeah that's good but let's say I'm so exhausted I'm

like there's no way I can do all of this today I might look at this list and say okay what takes the most energy out of all these things and I might think and say it's getting dinner with my friends

if I have to do that I'm not going to be able to do anything else so you might cancel those plans and then you look and say okay let's let's see what else here can I just not do today and you're like okay I

can't do my workout class today that's like an extracurricular activity I don't have time for that today so you cross that out you cancel that class and you focus on getting your work done that day and getting sleep that's what it looks

like to be mindful about your priorities to say you know what I know I can't give all of the stuff on my calendar today 100% so I'm going to cancel the stuff that doesn't really need my attention and can be focused on later and I'm

going to choose the one to two things that I can do today get work done in sleep in the example that I just gave so I feel like that's what it's like to be mindful on a daily basis but on a more

long-term basis maybe you're looking at your priorities for the month or for the year I think the best way to be mindful about that is to sort of make a decision you know make a decision about what you

think those priorities are knowing that it can't be everything and then keep that in the back of your mind on a daily basis when you wake up be aware of what is on the top of your list every day and

sort of live by that you know when you look at your to-do list check the things off first that are related to your top priorities for the month or for the year start out with those things because then once you're done giving

100% to those things if you end up not having energy later in the day to do the other things that you have on your to-do list it's not as big of a deal because those things aren't your number one

priorities right now you know it's less of a blow to let those things go and not not have the energy for them I would say my personal priorities that I've set for myself kind of indefinitely would be number one

sleep because I just can't function properly without it number two alone time slash time to be bored SL time to recharge that's my second priority and I would say my third priority is work I would say those are my three biggest

priorities my social life is important to me but I can't put it in my list of priorities at this point in my life it just it doesn't fulfill me enough and so it's it's not on my list it's not on my

top three obviously you know talking to my parents on the phone spending time with my boyfriend like that's different because that's that just would happen no matter what I guess so that that's always kind of in there too but I don't

really consider that my social life because that's not me you know going out like that that actually counts as part of my alone time in a weird way because when I'm with my parents or boyfriend or my family it recharges me in a similar

way to being completely alone so I sort of group it in there into that priority I would love to dedicate more of my time to Hobbies extracurricular activities Etc but I'm just not in a season of my life where that makes sense

for me I think my social life and my hobbies are the things that are suffering in this chapter of my life right now and I think the word suffering is kind of extreme but they are getting less attention you know they are things

that I really want to put more energy into at some point in my life and they are things that I can occasionally give some effort towards but they aren't things that I can fully dedicate myself to right now what I can

dedicate myself to is my work my alone recharge time and my sleep those are my priorities right now my daily schedule really reflects this I would say I tend to go to bed pretty early on a consistent basis you know I wake up and

I exercise which exercise for me is something I like to do alone and I'm able to think when I'm working out and I think to myself it's very like internal for me like that experience is very internal I I don't work with a personal

trainer I don't want to have one-on-one conversation I want to exercise and be alone at the same time that's huge for me I live alone so when I'm at home doing my thing whether I'm like working at the computer or I'm hanging out on my

couch or whatever I'm almost always alone thinking doing whatever I got to do I'll spend you know a few hours a day maybe 1 to three hours a day 3 hours probably Max hanging out with one of my

family members or my boyfriend or whoever and then I go to bed at like 10:30 11:00 p.m. and I wake up and do the whole thing all over again there's an occasion where I might go out and party you know I'm like you know what

tonight I'm saying [ __ ] it you know know maybe I got a lot of sleep the night before and I feel like I'm super rested and I feel like I could go for a night out maybe I am done with my work for the

week I have nothing to work on anyway so I didn't have to put any energy towards that so I have a lot more energy than usual maybe I I'm I've had a lot of alone time over the last few weeks or whatever

and I'm feeling actually kind of hungry for some social interaction then maybe I'll go out and I'll party and I'll have fun there are still times when I can give my 100% to things that are not on my priority

list but it's only when the things on my priority list don't need any attention so that's kind of how it plays a role in my day-to-day life I think the way that I chose my list of priorities top

priorities was through a lot of trial and error you know throughout my life I've had a different list of top priorities I've noticed that there's certain priorities that when they're in my top list they make me unhappy for example when my

social life is in my list of top priorities I find that I'm a little bit less happy and the reason for that is is that when I'm prioritizing my social life that means that something else is suffering and that might mean my work

that might mean my sleep that might mean my alone time and I need those things through trial and error I figured out that I need those things for example when I used to prioritize my social life I was constantly stressed out feeling

like I wasn't getting enough work done I couldn't even enjoy hanging out with friends because when I was I was constantly thinking about I how I could be working on you know clearing my schedule a little bit by getting work

done I was constantly sleep deprived because you know friends like to hang out late at night like to go do fun stuff go get a milkshake at a diner at 2 in the morning you know and that's so

fun but when I was doing that all the time I was constantly sleep deprived and so I didn't have the energy to do anything physical when I did have a lone time instead of using it to be recharging and introspective all I could

do was sleep so I I didn't have any alone time to just sit with my thoughts which is something that's really important to me and so you get the point the way that I figured out my list of

priorities was through a lot of analyzing each priority and also through trial and error you know trying it out and seeing how it felt for me and so as you're on this journey for yourself there's going to be a lot of trial and

error and it's going to look different for you than it does for me 100% we're going to talk about the pros and cons of each priority on my new trademarked diagram the Pentagon the new and improved diagram from Emma's

Instagram feed in 2016 that was a triangle which is so 2016 so I thought it would be interesting to go through the pros and cons of having each of these life categories in your top list of priorities because obviously all of

these things will get our attention sometimes but what are the pros and cons of putting these things in our top list having them in the Forefront of our mind whether it's for a day or for two weeks we're going to talk about the pros and

cons of social life being a priority success being a priority sleep being a priority alone time being a priority and time to be creative SL do Hobbies slash do extracurricular activities so let's get into it first let's start out with

the pros of prioritizing your social life I think having a lot of friends having a strong social life definitely can help give you balance in your brain instead of your mind becoming an echo chamber of your own thoughts which

can happen if you spend too much time I'm alone when you have a strong social life you find that you're constantly bouncing ideas off of other people getting other people's perspectives talking through issues and stuff like that and that can really help

keep you down to earth in a way when you're stuck in your own mind too much you can become an echo chamber of your own thoughts and you can spiral out of control and so I think a social life is

powerful for preventing that because you're constantly surrounded by other people who have other ideas who can give you perspective when you might need it being social is also crucial for developing new meaningful connections you know if you already have a solid group of a few

friends you maybe have a close relationship with your family maybe you have a significant other then maybe your social life doesn't need to be your number one priority because you already have meaningful relationships in your life that take a little bit less

developing because they're already developed um I would say that's kind of the place that I'm in right now I don't really need to go out and develop new friendships new relationships because I have that infrastructure in my life

right now but if you don't then it might make sense to prioritize your social life so that you can find some meaningful friendships and relationships and in that case that makes sense because having meaningful relationships is one of the most valuable and rewarding

things that we experience in life and it's just a fundamental part of being a human being so that definitely cannot be ignored I also think that social interaction and having a busy social life can at times be a healthy

distraction if done responsibly it can very easily become an unhealthy distraction but there have been times in my life where I've sort of shifted my priorities so that my social life was in my top list because I needed something

that was fun and that was a distraction and that just gave me something lighthearted to prioritize when I look back at the time in my life where I was prioritizing my social life in a way where it worked

number one it was only for a short period of time but number two it also replaced my work a little bit it was like okay I can't handle work being in my top list of priorities right now because I'm too burnt out so instead I

replaced it with my social life and my social life kind of shifted into my top list of priorities for I don't know a period of time and it actually worked out really well for me because it was a

light-hearted fun distraction and it wasn't something that I could keep up for very long but it was something that made sense for a period of time and there's something about it that can actually help you recharge don't get me wrong being alone

spending time alone is crucial for recharging and for self-reflection but being social also can recharge you if you're really burnt out with work or school Sometimes the best thing you can do is prioritize your social life for a little bit and use

that as a way to recharge having fun and enjoying yourself can really do wonders for Burnout prioritizing your social life can also be really beneficial if you want to work on your social skills you know constantly putting yourself in

social situations will naturally bring up some challenges socially you know you might get into an uncomfortable conversation here and there you might find yourself having to navigate social cues to handle a situation properly there's no better way to

develop your social skills than to put yourself in a lot of social situations so if you're in a place in your life where that's something you want to develop maybe prioritizing your social life makes for you I think prioritizing

your social life can also be helpful if you find that you're kind of stuck in one way of thinking and maybe you're experiencing a sort of echo chamber in your small community your family maybe your significant other and you all kind of

think the same way all kind of function in a similar way and if you find that that's fatiguing or not inspiring growth for you maybe it makes sense to prioritize your social life for a little bit go meet some new

people who have different perspectives different life experiences who can provide some sort of fresh perspective for you to chew on now let's talk about the cons of prioritizing your social life I mean a lot of people are not

going to click with you in this life and a lot of people are going to suck and drain your energy but it can be hard to see that sometimes so you may find yourself spending time with the wrong people if your social

life is one of your priorities it should also be one of your priorities to be intentional with that social time and to spend time with people who are good people who make you feel good who inspire you to be a better person but I

think the reason why it can be challenging to successfully have your social life be in your top list of priorities is that just so many people will drain your energy and so many people are not going to make

sense in your life and so many people are going to misuse your time and I think that that's the main challenge with this with this being a priority I think when you're social life is one of your priorities it can be easy to get

too involved to a point where 90% of what's taking up your mind is the drama in your Social Circles talking [ __ ] about somebody in your Social Circles when you're too involved it can just end up filling all

of your time with pointless frustration but there's also something kind of Addicting about it too like there's something about the drama that we just love as humans not all of us but a lot of us we kind of eat it up and so it can

be easy to make the decision like hey you know what I need to be a little bit more social this is going to kind of be on my top list for a little bit I'm going to really make this a thing but

then to fall into the wrong Social Circle and then to end up spending all of your time thinking about drama talking about drama Etc getting influenced by your friends or you know the people who you hang around to do things that don't align with your

personality Etc I think it's also really easy to overdo it with having a social life it's so hard to have a healthy balance when it's in your top list of priorities like for me because my social life is not in my

top list of priorities I'm really comfortable with saying no to people all the time because I'm known as someone who says no to social Gatherings frequently because there's just a lot of times when I don't have the time and energy to participate

and so I'm kind of known as that person and so that's kind of become a part of my identity in a way and now people know me as well she might come but she probably won't but when you're somebody

who is consistently present socially it starts to become an expectation in a way and people start to invite you to everything because they're like oh you're somebody who always comes out and always wants to hang so you always get invited to

everything and listen that's timec consuming going to every social Gathering that you get invited to that's that's a lot but when it's in your list of priorities it can be hard to figure out what to say no to and what to say

yes to because you're like well I know I need to be more social in my life so I'm just going to say yes to everything but then you end up having time for nothing else and that's not good that's a

complete imbalance it's I think in my opinion healthy to have a few things that you can give 100% to or maybe even just 80% to but you have that list of things that get your first priority but I don't think you should ever have one

thing as your priority for more than a week like I would say for a week if you have one priority everything else gets ignored you have one priority for like a week I think that's healthy but if that goes on for too

long then you have some problems there's an imbalance because now all of your eggs are in one basket and if things start to go wrong in that area then you don't have anything else to fall back on to or you won't feel

that way if all you're doing is prioritizing your social life what happens if your whole friend group breaks up and now you're like wait what do I that's all I've been doing for like months is just focusing on my social

life what else do I have you know you look at your work and you're like I'm so behind like I don't even know how I'm going to catch up on my work because I've not been giving that any attention

and then you look at like your sleep and you're like my sleep schedule has been so [ __ ] up for months I'm going to bed at like 2:00 a.m. and waking up at like 12:00 p.m. and I have no structure with

my sleep at all like how in the world am I going to fix this you have all this stuff that you need to go back and fix and address all at once if your main priority is just one thing and you're

not kind of spreading it out a little bit it's not you need to have a little bit of variation there you obviously can't prioritize everything all at once but you can't also only prioritize one thing for too long that's why this is so

complicated I guess my point is with your social life it's very easy to have tunnel vision and your only priority become your social life because being social takes a lot less discipline if it's something that comes naturally to you or it's something that you find

enjoyment in and so it could be easy to completely disappear into it and I think that's a con I think if you're spending too much time with people you can sometimes lose your sense of individual thought you know you might fall victim

to Pure pressure in some ways you you might morph the way that you think to align more with your Social Circle you might become a clone in a sense of of your Social Circle if it's too much of a

priority and you don't have balance in other areas of your life as well and it's also hard to balance with Al lone time you know I've noticed in my own life that I can usually only have one at a time

either social life in my list of priorities or alone time in my list of priorities because I feel like I can only usually prioritize three things at once that's like where I think I kind of level out I feel like I get three things

you might be different you might be only two you might be only one at times you might be a magician who can prioritize five things at once the whole Pentagon diagram that we've made today but I think for me I can only usually do three

things at once and if I'm prioritizing my social life and my alone time then I only have room for like one more thing you know yeah I I usually have to choose one or the other either alone time or

social life I have to choose one now let's talk about the pros of prioritizing success in work or school I think we can't ignore the fact that school in work are there for us in attempt to make us money we go to school

so that we can gather enough knowledge so that we can be a valuable employee at some point the whole reason why we go to school and we go to work is to either directly make money or to indirectly make money like

obviously going to school a lot of times costs money so that's not quite making you money yet but the idea of going to school in 99% of scenarios is to eventually get a job that will eventually pay us money so that we can

support ourselves and when we work every day it's to make money right I don't think anyone wants to work for free I mean there definitely are scenarios when working for free makes sense or is enjoyable or whatever but I would

consider that more of an extracurricular Hobby and I don't think there are very many people going to School past a certain point that aren't going to school to get a job obviously there are exceptions you know there are some people who just love

learning but I don't know when it comes to college especially I think people are investing in college to hopefully make the money back eventually in a job right so I think the first positive that comes with prioritizing school and work is

that you're working towards an income that can support your life in the world that we live in we have to make money in order to support ourselves right at least to a certain extent and again very complicated topic

it's it's like there's so many exceptions but I think in theory and in an attempt to encapsulate school and work the goal is to make money and as frustrating and unfortunate as that can be you know that's just a part of our reality and so

I think having work or school in your list of priorities is a good thing because it's kind of something that we have to do to a certain extent if we have the access to it to function as well as we can in societ I would say and

I would say too you know when you prioritize worker School in theory you might be working towards an income that could help you support yourself and maybe could allow you down the line to have more Financial Freedom in a

way so that you can maybe pay for some wants you know instead of needs right you could afford maybe a vacation that's kind of bougie you can afford a car that you're excited about or maybe just a car in

general or whatever you know I guess in theory working hard now can potentially bring great rewards down the line financially but again it's complicated because number one it's not always promised number two it's a lot easier said than done number three there are so

many other variables that impact what job you're able to get how much school you're able to attend Etc I mean it's so complicated but I think that working towards making money is not necessarily a bad thing in the circumstances that we

live in right now you know but now that we got the money part out of the way because obviously that is a huge reason why we work and go to school I also think that there's something to be said

for you know the great level of satisfaction you can feel when you complete a project whether that's at school or at work even if something is grueling or feels unnecessary I think that there's a lot of opportunity to feel satisfied and

proud of yourself at the end when you complete a project I know when I was in school for example I would torture myself to try to finish every project in every homework assignment right on time and have it be you know

impeccable quality in all this and in the moment I would I would feel like oh this is so [ __ ] stupid like why am I doing this like why does this even matter it doesn't matter but then once I

would turn it in I would feel this like Euphoria like I would feel so good because I worked so hard on something and even though the only thing I get in return is a grade what I got out of it

was more than that what I got out of it was this sense of confidence like okay I can accomplish [ __ ] you know what I mean if I put my mind to it and I work really hard I

can produce [ __ ] I can do things you know and that gave me a sense of confidence and it made me more inspired to work hard in other areas of my life so even though when you're working

at school or work it might sometimes feel pointless you know if you're working for someone else's company or you're going to school and you're studying a subject that's mandatory that you don't even really care about obviously sometimes that can be

frustrating and can feel completely unnecessary but I also think that it develops you in so many ways and that's a valuable thing I would say I think practicing discipline in work and at school is also a really powerful thing

because discipline is a great trait to have you know it's not easy to have discipline with yourself but I think mastering it or at least trying to master it I don't know if you can ever Master it but attempting to master it I

think is a really great thing and I think at work in school you have to practice discipline constantly because a lot of times you don't want to be doing what you're doing you don't want to be doing math homework you don't want to be

responding to emails you don't want to be making a spreadsheet you know what I'm saying like you don't want to be doing this [ __ ] but it takes discipline to do it and I think learning discipline is such a valuable thing to learn and I

think you could learn it elsewhere but I think school and work is a great place to learn that so it's another reason why I think prioritizing your success can come with other benefits and last but not least it

helps with self-esteem you know when I'm not working hard enough this is applied for my whole life by the way not just as an adult but my whole life when I'm not working hard enough I feel so shitty about myself my

self-esteem goes down substant EV because I want to be a hard worker you know I admire people who work hard so when I'm not doing that I don't feel good about myself it makes me feel good to know that I'm working hard to you

know create a life for myself that I'm excited about and proud of some may argue that your self-esteem being too heavily tied to your success in working in school is not good actually I would argue that I would argue that you know

your self-esteem shouldn't be completely tied to your level of success but rather it should be tied to your level of effort I don't know if that's necessarily unhealthy if you're doing the best that you can but you're still

failing it doesn't matter that you're failing it's about if you're doing the best that you can and I think that that's what I mean here you know my self-esteem suffers when I know that I'm not doing the best I can when I should

be especially in work or school you know it's less about whether or not I succeed in the eyes of everyone else it's more about whether or not I succeeded in putting my Max effort in it makes you feel good when you work really hard and

it makes you feel good when you have a little success here and there and so I think prioritizing work in school can sort of indirectly help with your self-esteem now there are definitely some cons when it comes to prioritizing

success number one tomorrow is never promised so although prioritizing work in school is important to a certain extent having it in your top list of priorities might give you less time to enjoy moments in life that are more meaningful you know when you're on

your deathbed you're not going to be thinking about how hard you worked in your junior year history class you're going to think about the time that you spent with the people that you care about you're going to think about the

discoveries that you made during your alone time that's what's going to come up okay working a tedious job going to school and it being tedious like that's not going to feed your soul in the way that everything else does

right at the same time you can't completely neglect it you know it needs to be at least somewhat of a priority but whether or not it needs to be in your list of top priorities I think is up to you but also you know there might

be chapters of your life when you're like okay I need to prioritize my work for like the next year because I need I'm trying to get to a certain point I'm trying to reach a certain goal and then

once you reach that goal you're like okay now I can shift and put my priorities back into other areas that fill my soul more it's inevitable that at some point you know you're probably going to have to prioritize work or

school but it's doesn't have to be a forever thing in the last potential problem with prioritizing your work in school is that your quality of life can suffer because you're not having enough fun you know work in school is rarely

fun okay don't get me wrong sometimes it can be fun for some of us maybe but it can be easy to burn out and I guess that kind of applies for any of your top priorities you can burn out on any of

your top priorities pretty easily because they're in your top list you know it's easy to burn out on anything that's on the front of your mind you have to take careful care to not let that happen but I think with work in

school especially it's so easy to get burnt out because it's not always the most rewarding now let's talk about the pros of prioritizing sleep I think the most important thing is sleep is something that we can't live without

like you need to sleep or else you bad things happen uh Google it so it's not a bad idea to have it in your list of priorities because you kind of can't live without it but also you function so

much better when you're sleeping properly I can't think straight or get anything done when I don't have enough sleep I am a mess I'm a mess it makes everything in my life suffer so if sleep is not a

priority for me personally I can't get anything else done some people aren't this way they don't need to prioritize sleep they prioritize other things sleep is on the bottom of their list of priorities it's not in their top three

so some people can make it work but it's good for your health and it makes you so much more efficient and I don't think there's much more to say about that I would say the only con of prioritizing sleep is that maybe

that you miss out on some fun activities occasionally you know sometimes things happen late at night people are going out it's going to be a fun crazy night at the cler you know what I'm saying and you miss out because sleep is in your

top list of priorities but I don't know I don't really know there's any cons to prioritizing sleep I mean maybe you're not as prone to sacrificing sleep to get something done on time and sometimes that makes sense to do you know

sometimes that actually makes your life easier long term to sacrifice your sleep one day so that the next week you can sleep as much as you want you know what I'm saying I don't know there's not a lot of cons next let's talk about alone

time alone time time being a main priority can be incredibly beneficial for self-development on a self-awareness level you learn so much about yourself when you spend enough time alone you aren't a stranger to yourself when you become comfortable with alone time and

you start to talk to yourself a little bit more and that's incredibly valuable also with alone time comes boredom and boredom is very important for discoveries on so many levels you might discover something about yourself you might uncover a rabbit hole

that you want to go down you know on the Internet or in a book or whatever you might discover a new hobby because you're bored and so you're like what could I do o I kind of want to draw you

know you discover things when you're bored and I don't think you really get bored when you're with your friends or when you're working or you're at school like yes you get bored but you also are doing something else so you can't fully be

bored and also being alone helps you recharge you know like being able to be silent not having to be on not having to think about anyone but yourself that is so incredible for recharging and when you're able to properly recharge you're

able to to focus better on other things you're better able to focus on your work you're better able to communicate with strangers politely you're better able to be supportive to people in your life Etc when you're properly recharged you can

be so much more present but the cons of prioritizing alone time is that you might overdo it and as I mentioned earlier you know you might end up finding yourself in an echo chamber where you're just wallowing in your own

thoughts and you might spiral and you have no one necessarily there to give you another perspective to help bring you down to earth if you're like no I'm trying to handle everything on my own right now I'm I'm prioritizing my alone

time right now you might feel less motivated to reach out to others in times of spiraling in a sense you could also end up unintentionally alienating yourself socially and you might end up cutting everyone off because you focus

too hard on spending time alone and making that a priority and it's also really easy to waste your alone time similar to how it's easy to waste your social time alone time is not beneficial if you're not using it properly you know

if you're spending all of your alone time on Tik Tok the whole time now listen going on Tik Tok going on Instagram you know watching TV and [ __ ] during some of your Alan time 100% like we're human like we got to do that we

got to check in on our social media we got to catch up on the newest TV shows like don't get me wrong I'm not saying that you have to be [ __ ] meditating every time you're alone for it to be

beneficial like that's not the case but you can't only be scrolling on Tik Tok when you're alone you can't only be watching TV when you're alone to make it beneficial right I think if alone time is a priority for you maybe you dedicate

50% of that time to mindfulness aone time that's mindful rather than mindless like Tik Tok TV whatever I think you can do both but I think it's easy to spend all of your alone time distracted and I think that removes the value

from having that on your list of priorities and last but not least we're talking about the pros and cons of having creative time extracurricular time hobby time in your top list of priorities I would say the pros would be

number one if you're a creative person this feeds your soul this breathes life into you it also gives you something to do that has nothing to do with money you know a creative passion project a hobby an extracurricular activity all of these

things are things that you do that don't make you money you do them because you want to do them and they make you feel satisfied on a personal level and it has nothing to do with money it has nothing

to do with your career it's just you doing something because you want to do it and there's something really empowering about that also a lot of times these sorts of activities are challenging and they can teach you lessons they can help you understand

yourself better there's a lot of self-discovery that can happen when you pursue a hobby or a creative interest there's so many things you can learn from yourself based on how you approach these things and how you problem solve

but the other thing is it's low stakes I think these sorts of activities are one of the only opportunities we get in life to be presented with a challenge and not feel pressure to solve it but rather feel excited to solve it you know for

example your creative expression is through photography and you buy a new camera and it's really hard to use now you don't have to figure out how to use the camera but you want to know the ins and the outs of this camera because you

want to know because you know that once you figure it out you're going to be able to take incredible images and that excites you because you want to take those images you have things in your mind that you want to live in a

photograph and you know that if you figure out how to use this camera you'll be able to do that and so you feel this desire to figure out how to use the [ __ ] camera not because you're going

to make x amount of money if you figure it out but because you're going to have something that you're proud of that feeds your soul when you figure it out and the process that you experience trying to figure out how to use this

camera will show you how capable you are of problem solving you know did you find a book in the library so 2010 of a thing to do but did you get a book on your Kindle about it did you look up a video on YouTube

YouTube did you ask your friend to help you like all the different ways you go about problem solving help develop your ability to problem solve in any in any and all areas of your life and it also makes you feel confident when you figure

out how to solve a problem on your own it makes you feel good I would say the only con of prioritizing these sorts of activities is that yeah they don't make you money so some may argue it's stup stupid to

prioritize your creative expression your extracurricular activities your hobbies because it doesn't make you money and there are other things you could work on that would make you money but I would say it depends on the person some people

need these types of activities to be in their top list of priorities because it makes them happy and it feeds their soul and it makes them a better person because they feel fulfilled by this some people don't feel this way and you know

extracurricular hobbies and all the these activities these things are on the bottom of the list and when there's time maybe we'll dopple in these things but when there's not time it's on the bottom of the list and we have other [ __ ] to do

you know it depends on the person like for me right now these sorts of activities are not on the top of my list but at some point in my life I can almost guarantee it will be it's just not right now anyway you guys

my brain is so exhausted from this I don't know why I don't know why my brain is so exhausted from this I feel dare I say I feel wiped out I feel wiped out right now that was exhausting but I

think in conclusion you know your main priorities in your brain are going to be shifting on a constant basis and there's going to be a day where your list of top priorities are completely different than the next day

there're going to be years when your top priorities remain consistent for the whole year there are pros and cons to having anything as a top priority the moral of the story is you can't necessarily have your cake need it to you know we're

human we can't give everything 100% all at once but I think what we can do is try to Strate rically commit to certain priorities for certain chapters of our lives so that eventually we can reach a balance where maybe we can prioritize

everything all at once that might be a little bit too dystopian but that's all I have for today thank you guys for listening thank you guys for hanging out I hope this was interesting if it wasn't okay whoops I

appreciate all of you I love all you thank you for listening I make episodes every Thursday and Sunday tune in I have a coffee company Chamberlain coffee taking a sip my cold brew is watered down cuz I didn't drink it fast enough but we're

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thank you guys for listening I'll talk to you soon